Gah! I've been slacking! Shame on me! My apologies... I've been pretty stressed lately. But, because I love you all, I bring you another chapter. I wish to thank everyone who read and reviewed on the last chapter, I seemed to get a lot of reviews. And Thank you to everyone who gave me congrats on reaching chapter 20 and 100 reviews. Means alot, guys!
Disclaimer: All Characters are belong to Square. And yet, another mention of Sandy, Random Reno Fangirl 05's muse. -huggles Sandy- I love her so much XD
Eight o'clock am, oh how we loath thee. Sure, it was halfway through the day for Tseng, but currently, he was not aware of the time, he was too busy being passed out at his desk. Arms folded over his papers, and his head resting on them, he peacefully slept. Yeah, he was professional to a painful extent, and so serious he could make your high school English teacher look like a pushover, but everyone is human, right? It was not his fault he had been awake all night. Before your filthy minds process that phrase wrong, perhaps it's good to mention that he had spent from nine p.m. to four am catching up on paperwork. What's so urgent and different about these papers? They were damage forms he had to fill out from Reno's last mission. How could that idiot go from having to shoot a guy, to driving a truck through a hardware store and casting Bolt 2 on a completely different building, causing thousands of gil on damage to their electrical system? Not to mention the assigned man to kill had been in a completely different sector at that time. Naturally, Tseng was pissed off, but he was even more upset that Rufus always assigned him to fill out all those forms. Why him? He wasn't the one who has a record of redefining the term "overkill".
The Turk leader's peaceful slumber was snatched away from him when he heard a high-pitched scream echo through the halls. He sat up immediately, and reactively picked up the fire extinguisher that he kept under his desk, for reoccurring incidents where Reno had gotten a hold of Rude's lighter. Looking around in dumb sleepiness, he lowered the fire extinguisher as he found his office was empty and there was no sign of smoke. Blinking the blurriness out of his eyes and yawning, Tseng stood up and sleepily trudged over to the door. Peering into the hall, while leaning on the doorframe lazily, he saw Rude already dragging Reno towards the office. The redhead, who was being full out dragged across the floor by the back of his shirt, was laughing uncontrollably. Rude looked slightly peeved, but had a "he-did-something-stupid-again" look on his face. Tseng sighed.
"What did he do now?" he asked in almost a conversational tone. Why bother getting surprised that Reno had some something destructive or idiotic? "And please don't tell me that was your scream, Rude."
The bald Turk ignored that comment and hauled Reno between him and Tseng. Reno was still laughing. "He put one of Hojo's specimens in Elena's desk drawers." Rude explained. Tseng twitched.
"Reno…"
The smaller man looked up at Tseng, managing to calm his laughter. "Geeze, boss, you look spent. Didn't sleep?" he asked, fully knowing it was all his fault. He gave an innocent smile, which sparked another twitch from his superior.
"For your information, Rufus demanded that I stay up all night-" before Tseng could finish with the words 'to finish paperwork', Reno burst into more laughter, doubling over on the floor. Rude sighed and ran a hand over his face. Only Reno…
Just then, Elena seemingly came out of nowhere and took hold of Rude's free arm. She looked scared out of her mind. There was evidence of drying tears on her face, with mascara smears. He squeezed poor Rude's arm, showing she had a stronger grip than it seemed.
"It's running around my office!" she exclaimed, fully latching onto the arm. Rude groaned and looked at Tseng. The leader just straightened up.
"Alright, Elena, we'll go deal with whatever Reno put into your office…" he sighed before starting to head in that direction. He glanced back at Reno before looking at Rude. "Just leave him there, looks like he'll keep himself busy for at least an hour." It was true, the idiot Turk was laughing so hard that it looked like he wouldn't calm down for a long time. Rude nodded and followed Tseng, with Elena still clinging to his arm for dear life. They left the hysterical redhead to his hyperventilation and laughter.
As they reached Elena's office, which was pretty small in size, they found a strange looking rodent running around in circles. It looked like a squirrel loaded with mako, with bright, glowing green fur. However, it was slightly larger than the creature it resembled, and had seemingly larger claws. The three Turks stood in the doorway, Tseng blinking with slightly widened eyes.
"…That!"
"It's scary when it jumps out at you, ok?" Elena growled, still latched to Rude.
"Why's it running around in circles?" Rude asked, noticing how the squirrel seemed to chase it's own tail in the middle of the office. It certainly didn't look intelligent. Tseng sighed.
"I think it caught Reno's idiocy. Let's just catch it."
The two men, and eventually Elena, advanced around the circling rodent. The squirrel stopped suddenly and looked up at Tseng, tilted it's head a little, then bolted. It climbed up Tseng's pant leg, then up to his shoulder. Tseng gasped and tried to swing a hand to bat the creature off of him, but it bit his finger and ran back down and out the door. Tseng held his bleeding finger, glaring at the retreating figure of the rodent.
"That little bastard!" he snarled, chasing after it. Elena and Rude then followed.
Rufus sat back in his chair and sighed, eyes scanning over the report in his hand. Where the hell was Tseng with those damage papers? He needed them filled out soon, and it wasn't like Tseng to be late with paperwork. As he contemplated calling his office to question the Turk, he sat up and lowered the paper. He saw a green squirrel sitting on his desk, gnawing on his gold pen.
"Hey!" he yelled as he reached for the rodent. That pen was extremely expensive, and even though Rufus had more money than they had an actual number for, no green rat was going to ruin his stuff. As he reached, the squirrel scrambled up his arm and clung to his hair. Of course all the hair gel protected Rufus' head like a mini helmet, but isn't a mutated squirrel on your head a little freaky? Apparently he thought so. The usually composed young president ran around the office, trying to get the mako squirrel off of him.
"Getitoffgetitoffgetitoff! Sandy get the mop!" he yelled, momentarily forgetting his bodyguard was absent that day.
As Tseng, Rude, and Elena ran into the office, they circled around the president immediately.
"Sir, calm down…" Tseng instructed, eyes locked on the rodent, which looked around, peacefully perched on the young president's head.
"CALM?" Rufus roared, glaring at Tseng. "THIS IS CALM! I COULD NEVER BE MORE CALM!" he screamed, looking like he was going to explode with fury and panic.
Before anyone could stop it, the squirrel leaped off the noble president's head and squeezed into the little air vent in the wall. All the Turks groaned before running over to the vent.
"Like a little, fur-covered Reno…" Rude sighed as the glow of the creature's fur disappeared around the corner. Tseng straightened up.
"Come on, we have to get into the vents again."
"Not me!" both Elena and Rude piped up at the same time. Tseng glared back at them.
"Hell no…"
"Sorry, boss, you loose!" Elena smiled innocently before she and Rude all but fled from the office. Tseng looked back at Rufus, who was making sure his hair wasn't ruined, and sighed. He then made his way down to the utility room. He was surprised to see the other Turks there, even Reno.
"What are you doing down here?" he asked while taking to cover off the vent. Rude smiled.
"With all due respect, sir, watching you crawl into the vent and chase a mako induced rodent would make my year." Reno and Elena nodded in agreement.
"Rude…" Tseng twitched.
"Sorry, sir, I think Reno's attitude is rubbing off on me."
"You WISH I was rubbing off on you!"
Tseng rolled his eyes and looked back at the vent. Before he could crawl in, he stopped. The squirrel sat there, blinking at him and giving a light 'squeak'. The Turk blinked as well before removing his blazer and lunging, aiming to trap it in the dark blue fabric. However, the squirrel was too fast. It leaped up and clung to Tseng's face.
"Mmph!" Tseng stumbled back and tried to yank it off of him, but the large rodent kept clinging to him. The three other Turks reacted differently. Reno collapsed laughing, Elena screamed, and Rude watched in a mix of morbid fascination and horror. In all honesty, the sight if the leader of the most elite group of assassins in the world stumbling around with a green squirrel clinging to his face was pretty amusing.
"Sir!" Elena ran towards her boss, yanking on the rodent's tail, but it had no effect on it. Tseng gave a mix of muffled cries, attempting to pry the mako creature off again. After snapping out of his trance, Rude drew his gun and fired it upwards. Consequently, a piece of the ceiling fell, but it hit Reno on the head instead of him. The blast was enough to startle the squirrel, and it loosened it's grip enough so Tseng could successfully pry it off his face and stuff it under and overturned bucket, which lay conveniently in the corner. He then fell to his knees, gasping for air and sputtering green fur.
"Tseng, are you alright?" Elena asked, kneeling down beside him. The wutaiian man had many scratches up and down his face, and looked almost purple from a lack of oxygen, but was otherwise unharmed. He glared at Reno.
"I hope you've enjoyed the use of your limbs." He growled angrily. Reno smiled innocently and stepped back before ducking behind Rude.
"…I love you?" Reno tried sweetly, knowing he was royally screwed. He still had bits of ceiling in his hair, but for once didn't seem to care about his appearance. He then bolted and crawled into the vent. He was gone within seconds. The three other Turks looked at each other.
"Not me!"
"Not me!"
"Not… ah, fuck…" a defeated Tseng groaned as he crawled his way into the vents.
There you have it! I know, it's a bit long, but I was having SO much fun with it. I love torturing Tseng so much. I dunno why, it's just amusing X3
Reviews! You guys are great. I love you.
Akiraine of Gia: Hehee, I talk to you on Gaia online! -pointpoint- Thanks for adding me, it's good to talk to you! Don't worry about not reviewing, priorities are but a factor of life! It's awesome to hear from you again, though. God, your reviews are long, makes me feel abd that I can't write an equally long reply. I yell at my computer when on the phone too, I let out a string of curses that would put Cid Highwind himself to shame. Once I almost did that when ont he phone with my Grandma! X.x that would NOT have gone over well. X3 I love your reviews, thank you so much!
WyvrenWing: Yay! I'm glad you like it, and you don't think I'm loosing my touch. Thank you so much for reviewing!
Nando the RPS King: Hmmm... pokey sock puppet... -laughs hysterically- that would be funny as hell. Poor Reno, in fact, the poor Turks. I'm so awful to all of them. And Rude keeps that sock with him always, it's his Reno-repellant. XD thanks for the review!
tifa-lockhart-27: The pokey sock incident is from Random Reno Fangirl 05's fanfic, called Trapped. It's hilarious, read it and be prepared to laugh.
The Tiramisu of Impending Doom: Thanks XD I like that particular quote. Ah, how we love those Turks. I like making Reno all immature and perverted, like an extreme version of myself! Thanks for the review!
Random Reno Fangirl 05: Haha, the muses strike back X3 Aw, Sandy's not useless! She's the bestest muse ever! I love at least mentioning her in my fictions, especially when Rufus is involved. They make the perfect comedy duo. Too bad she couldn't save poor Ru-Ru-Chan this time! -evil laugh- Evil Mako Squirrel! Anywhoo, thanks for the review!
Z-sama: Thank you very much for the lovely review! You're too kind to me. Falling out of your chair may be due to an ear infection, you may want to see a doctor. Thanks again!
Skrap: Yay for Reno! I love him so much! Wow, you read all 20 chapters? At once? Holy crap, I applaud you! Thanks for the great review!
Dav J: W00t! I love halloween! Thank you, I'm glad you liked the last chapter.
ImotoHiNeko: Aw, thanks! I'm definatly writing more, as long as people still like it.
Als4137: Thank you! Halloween is an awesome time of year, how can I NOT add it into a chapter? hehe, thanks againfor another kind review!