FUCK, I SUCK DICK AT UPLOADING STUFF!

Hell yeah ya do.

Well, we're sorry, 'kay? We're fucking sorry.

Yeah. We've been doing important stuff, like...

Um...

Stuff...

Lamest excuse ever.

Shaddup!

Bah, whatever! I just got a straight flush!

FUCK!

Cheater!

Hand over yo cash, son!

Salute to the Awesomer Army! My name is The Awesomer, and welcome back, bitches!

Unfortunately, the entire summer has passed by waiting for our computer, and we went back to school back in August 18.

Nether, shut up.

We've wasted our entire summer playing poker.

Sad, I'll admit, but we'll be fine.

Speaking of 'fine,' I got myself a full house!

Alright, there is NO way in hell you got yourself two high-ranking poker hands in a row.

Aether, I know you're cheating.

Hell yeah I'm cheating! I just got myself an extra 30,000 bucks in the last game!

Aether, I disqualify you from the game.

I taught my little-buddy well!

Enjoy!

Felix POV—

I back pedaled away from the door as quickly as I could, trying to regain my breathing desperately as I nearly tripped on my boots from complete fear. The long, rusted iron sword jutted out a foot through the decaying splintered lumber of the door, fresh scarlet blood dripping from the blade. My senses went on overload, analyzing everything that I could see at the moment down to nearly every last detail;

There was the locked wardrobe that had no chance of opening quietly (still don't know why). There wasn't a velvet/wooden chair next to the oak wood desk to help me get into Chair-Mode. The giant window had iron bars embedded in the glass, and there was no guaranteed possibility of solid ground below without programming it in myself (which God knows I wouldn't). Under the bed or in the curtains seemed like the only possible options. But I had to hurry; the Brute sounded pissed and the door only had one more hit before it would be blended into a million small wooden splinters.

"Bed!" I squeaked to myself in a high-pitched tone, as if I was still doing commentary on a dumb horror game. As soon as the yelp had passed through my lips, I hit the deck in a fear-induced adrenaline-rush and tried to army-crawl under the giant green bed frame, pushing aside the soft silk... curtains-thingies and tried to kick myself under.

I hit an invisible wall, my head making a nauseating clunk noise upon contact. I immediately sat up and rubbed my head, letting out a flurry of curses as I already felt the welt rising. "Ow! There are actually invisible walls here!?" I demanded to no one in particular.

The Brute roared with absolute rage outside, the door starting to sag in its frame. I watched as the giant metal sword quickly got wrenched from the decomposing wood of the door, leaving nothing but a large gaping hole where it was only earlier. I could see the bashed-open head of the Brute, letting out another pissed-sounding howl.

"Fuck this shit!" I shouted, my voice reaching the highest pitch the human voice could achieve as I began running towards the curtains.

What happened next went by so fast that I couldn't process it fully until it was all over with.

The wardrobe door slowly cracked open, just enough for a large hand to shoot out and slap itself over my nose and mouth and stifling my heavy breathing. Another hand shot out just as quickly, wrapping around my chest and yanking me into the wardrobe with me. The doors swiftly slammed shut as soon as I got forcibly yanked inside, not a single ray of dim light making it through. Scared for my life, I started to claw at the hand around my mouth, digging my nails deeply into the skin and hoping that I could cause enough pain for whoever—or whatever—to let go of me. I used my teeth to bite into the clammy palms of the person's hands.

The hand around my chest let go of me, but the other arm was quickly wrapped around my neck, keeping me from moving. I heard the sound of a weapon being drawn from its sheath, and I felt the cold, razor-sharp edge pressed up against my throat.

I let out a fearful whimper as I kept trying to escape from this person/thing's grip.

I heard a deep, rich French voice hiss angrily in my ear, expressing a warning tone of voice as he whispered under his breath: "Be quiet and stop struggling or I'll chop your balls off."

I decided to stop trying to escape.

A loud CRACK! sound echoed through the room, signalling that the door was now broken down and in a thousand tiny splinters in the carpet. The victorious empty roar of the Brute made my palms go sweaty despite my blood running icy cold. Heavy footsteps were effectively followed by the insanity-inducing scrapping of bloody iron chains across the cobblestone ground. A hushed, muffled growl of frustration emanated from a few yards from the wardrobe doors.

The French voice breathed directions into my ear: "If I say 'run,' fucking run your ass off. Got it?"

I nodded, trying not to let out a desperate sob of fear.

"I'm going to let go of your mouth. Don't scream. Got it?"

I nodded again, trying to stop my knees from trembling. The muscled arm loosened its grip from my neck and reopened my airway enough for me to breathe properly, the large hand accompanying it letting go of its grasp on my mouth. Quietly and slowly, I let in a gasp of air, grateful for my ability to breathe again.

"Hold still," the voice hissed.

The dreadful sound of iron cutting clean through solid oak wood followed behind the person's orders faster than I could even possibly understand on normal terms. It occurred to me only seconds later that the monster had just sent his weapon through the bed frame, where I first wanted to hide and cower from the first monster I've encountered in Brennenburg.

"Thank god for invisible walls," I breathed.

-Said nobody ever.

The monster roared in anger and frustration, quickly stomping away and trashing up the entire room one thing at a time: ceramic vases; the desk not too far away from our spot; the window; the bedside table. Almost everything that you could imagine was swiftly destroyed just behind the thin doors of our hiding spot. My brain whirred to life, working and trying desperately to grab a hold of my last shreds of sanity as I realized that it was only a matter of time and patience before the monster attacked the wardrobe and sliced me into a thousand tiny PewDiePies.

The destruction finally managed to stop a perfect two and a half minutes later, leaving a dark, fevering silence in its wake.

My muscles tensed up, ready to burst out in a run for my fragile life though the halls of the unknown castle.

Whoever was in the closet with me stopped breathing all together.

Silence.

Silence.

Silence.

I finally heard a growl; a deep, enraged, blood-lustful growl that was so close to the doors of the closet that it could shatter the rationality for anyone that was faint of heart. My mouth went dry but sweat was starting to drip down the back of my neck. The hairs on my arms rose up and stood on end, accompanied by thousands upon millions of goosebumps. My blood ran cold through my veins, chills racing along my spine. My eyes constricted to something smaller than a pinhole, making it almost impossible to see anything at all through the pitch blackness of the wardrobe. Every single nerve in my body told me to run; get out; burst out of the closet and run until I collapsed.

The growl was heard again a moment later, but much further away. My body returned to normal in complete relief that we were alive. But I couldn't force myself to move.

It was another five minutes before the French voice next to me whispered: "Okay, it's safe. He's gone."

I crumpled out of the closet and collapsed on my hands and knees, breathing hard and sweating like I had just exercised for ten hours straight. My entire body trembled, as if protesting what I was doing because I had ignored all rationality to run my ass off. My adrenaline-muddled mind finally came to a conclusion about who was in the closet with me, and I managed to grasp that logic as I prepared to thank him.

I swallowed back the scared lump in my throat and uttered out: "T—thanks, Stephano..."

Footsteps came up behind me, but they weren't strong and proud like Stephano's familiar pacing. They were infrequent and heavy, like this person was limping or even hesitant to walk at all. Heavy breaths filled completely to the brim with pain could be heard accompanying them, matching the infrequency of the footsteps.

I stopped breathing.

This wasn't Stephano.

This was an imposter.

A doppelgänger.

"Stay back!" I suddenly squeaked, sweeping myself to my feet and turning to face the imposter. "Don't touch m—!"

"Pewdie," the man interrupted. "You're just as dumb as I remember."

The man who stood before me looked exactly like Stephano; long tunic that stopped just above his knees, covering his jeans that stopped at his curly toed shoes. A desert turban sat neatly on his head, the cloth stopping just at his shoulders. A long, lethal-looking Arabian sword was in one of his hands, the point dipping towards the ground weakly. The only noticable difference was this man's color scheme; instead of the bright gold that Stephano was, this man's clothes, sword and skin was a dull bronze.

I went completely slack-jawed, staring at the man before me. "Gon... Gon..."

The man smirked, raising an eyebrow expectantly. "Wow. This is incredibly stupid to look at. Pewdiepie, the man who created my brother and I, can't even say my name."

I raised a finger. "Excuse me, Gonzales, while I pick my jaw up off the floor."

Gonzales sheathed his giant Arabian sword, politely offering a hand in welcoming. "Welcome to Brennenburg, Pewdie. Did you have a nice trip?"

"Hell no!" I answered, making sure to make my voice crack with a high pitch. "So much turbulence!"

I gave my Bro the dumbest smile I could muster and was about to take Gonzales' hand in gratitude, but I caught a glimpse of his palm, and found myself stopping short. His dirt-caked bronze fingers had an unhealthy-looking coat of a shimmering substance that showed a slightly darker hue of bronze than Gonzales' skin. A strong, sharp scent nipped at my nose, reminding me of my worst memories and nightmares. Only seconds after processing this, I realized that it was Gonzales' blood; fresh.

"Gonzales..." I pointed at his hand, my finger trembling again. I didn't even bother asking if it really was blood as I demanded, "Where are you bleeding?"

"What?" Gonzales glanced at his hand quickly, frowning in disapproval. "Oh... right... um..."

I lifted Gonzales' arm and made a quick inspection of Gonzales' stomach, only to back away repulsed; Three long tear marks had viciously been ripped into Gonzales' right abdomen, the slashes cutting right through the skin, deep into his flesh and still bleeding quite profusely. There was nothing but soaked strips of cloth lining the area, obviously done in a panicked haste from a while ago.

I licked my dry lips and found myself praying desperately that whatever had attacked one of my best friends didn't break through the stomach wall and into any vital organs.

"How old is the wound?" I demanded, trying to act as steely calm as my thumping heart would allow me.

Gonzales' eyes immediately hardened like pressured diamonds, barely meeting mine. "What's it to you?" he asked, trying to throw in the tough-guy act.

I said, "You're my responsibility, and I have a right to know how old the fucking wound is."

Gonzales didn't budge, still keeping up the tough-guy act in a last-chance effort to make me back off and mind my business. I didn't back down, trying to make my eyes look as hard and determined as his, like pressured diamonds. If this is what it took to survive Brennenburg, then I would do whatever it takes. It took diamonds to break diamonds, right?

Gonzales' concentration broke, and eyes managed to soften to rock-hard instead of diamond-hard. "A day and a half," he answered quietly, barely above a whisper.

"Geezus," I hissed through my teeth, running my hand through my tied blonde hair. "That is probably infected, Bro! We need to get you some... Laudananananananum or some shit! Uhhh... here!" I quickly rummaged through my satchel, almost praying that one of the tinder boxes had magically turned into a potion.

"Pewdie," Gonzales tried to say, but I interrupted him quickly.

"I got it! Where's Jennifer? Or Mayo? They might be around here somewhere!" I cupped my hands around my mouth, but quickly trusted my better judgement with the monster not being to far away.

"Pewdie, it's more than infected," Gonzales said, so calm it was almost scary. "It's poisoned."

I stopped thinking of ideas. "W—wha...?"

Gonzales pursed his lips, crossing his arms. "Yeah. The wound's poisoned. Badly. I... I was trying to get to a secret entrance I built near the dungeons to break everyone else out, and I got jumped by these three Barrels and a Grunt. Two Barrels held my arms while this other Barrel put a weird-ass venom or potion or something on the Grunts claws, and they got me good." Gonzales uncrossed his arms, wincing at the pain of his abdomen. "I can feel it eating away at my heart, Pewdie."

I raised an eyebrow, trying to comprehend this information. "No way. Couldn't you have... I dunno... cured it or something? I mean... Laudananananananum, or bandages, or even an anti-venom! You're good with potions, right?"

Gonzales shook his head. "The Barrels destroyed the materials I would need to build that shit. They took every single Laudanum potion and hid them away with them in the East Wing somewhere." Gonzales let out a frustrated sigh, fidgeting with the handle of his sword. "Bandages don't do shit with the bleeding. Sanity potions are around, but I highly doubt they have any kind of physical medicinal effect."

Gonzales sighed again. "Basically, every hope of me managing to survive is slim unless I can find anything."

I took a minute to let all of this sink in. "Fuck..." I muttered, still comprehending the information. "Are... are you serious?"

Gonzales nodded.

I finally shouted out: "Fuck!" as I tore out some of my hair and paced around. A hell of a twist for my first trip to Brennenburg. "Dammit. How... how long do you think you have to live?"

Gonzales paused, his eyes softening from rock-soft to graphite. He turned away from me, taking a few steps away from me before he murmured in a barely audible tone: "If I don't get any kind of treatment of the poison or the blood loss, I'll have a few hours; a day at the most."

I froze, my mind racing. There was no way that Gonzales could die. Not like this. Not ever. Holy shit. Was this a reality? Now that I was with my friends (or, at least in the same general castle with them) after sacrificing one of them trying to help them to prevent World War 3, and I just found one of my best friends was just poisoned and dying. He had a day at the most, and the best chance we had of curing him was going to the Barrels and grabbing some Laudanum, which was pretty much suicide.

"Fuck," I whispered, my voice low so Gonzales wouldn't hear it cracking in desperation. "We gotta find the others. They'll... they'll know something. Anything."

Gonzales turned back to me, nodding slowly. "Yeah. I know. But... where the fuck would they even be?"

A cold breeze blew through the castle and on the back of my neck. I turned towards the door, facing the insanity-inducing darkness that would most likely lead to my ultimate demise. A dark shiver ran up and down my spine, sending goosebumps up and down my arms and legs. My mouth went dry, my palms sweating. I swallowed the lump in my throat, with was hard considering everything was dry (that's what she said). Somewhere, in that now-very real darkness, were my friends; and monsters; and Barrels that wanted to rip me limb from limb until I was just a bloody mass of confetti.

I took a deep breath before I said: "I... I think I might know where someone is."

Gonzales' eyes hardened. "Who?"

I shrugged, helpless. "I don't know who exactly; but someone on our side is somewhere nearby. I can feel it." I looked at my Bro. "What part of the castle are we in?"

Gonzales shifted his weight uncomfortably. "The..." he hesitated, "The East Wing. The most dangerous part of the castle."

Mr. Chair POV—

You know that moment? That moment when you realize you made a stupid mistake literally seconds after you made it, but it's far too late to change it, no matter what you do, so you just brace yourself and accept your inevitable doom?

Yep. This was by far the biggest one I've ever experienced. Basically, shit hit the fan as soon as Piggeh realized we had been followed.

Apparently, there was never a monster on our trail when we came out of the closet. Sure, there were the growls, but they were just heading away from where we came from. We had gotten excited over nothing at all. But that didn't stop us from running at a full sprint in circles around the East Wing like chickens with their heads cut off for five minutes straight.

By the time Piggeh and I had stopped running around like idiots, we had run down on most of our energy, collapsing on the ground and breathing hard. There was nothing on the walls of the hallway; no paintings, torches, candles, windows or anything, really. The ground was just hard stone, cold and unforgiving. There wasn't even anything to sit or lean on; crates, tables, other chairs were pretty much non-existant. There was barely any light if at all, and the hall was practically drenched in almost complete darkness, which meant we would have to leave quickly after so we didn't lose our sanity. The only thing I could make out was Piggeh's silhouette. It was strange—because there should have at least been a candle or a torch or something—but slightly understandable, considering this was where the Barrels were hiding out. They did weird shit.

"Okay," Piggeh wheezed collapsing a hand to partially decomposed chest. "What first? Do we find a way outta her and get to the dungeon?"

I nodded, resting my head on the wall behind me and resting my eyes. "Maybe not to the dungeon quite yet... but I will gladly GTFO outta here."

Piggeh chuckled. "You sound like Pewdie."

I opened my eyes, a faint grin playing across my face. "Yeah, I kinda do, don't I?"

Piggeh laughed, a smile growing on his pink-skinned face. "Do an impression," he requested.

I sat up, facing Piggeh and making my best cry-baby face. "I don't wanna play this game anymore!" I wailed quietly.

I switched my face to a stupid/angry face. "BARRELS!" I shouted. "What the FUCK are you doin' here!?"

Piggeh started to snort. "Wait, I got a good one!" He stopped laughing, making a dumb smile appear on his face as he held his hair with his hands, fashioning twin pony-tails. "OMG! SO DAMN KAWAIIIIIIIIIIII!"

Both of us burst into a fit of laughter, imagining Pewdie as he screamed this at the top of his lungs in a pink dress and held a peace sign next to his face. This was the best entertainment we got in Brennenburg; making fun of our best friend when we got the chance.

I finally calmed myself down, looking at Piggeh from across the hall. "So... let's review this 'big plan' we got here."

Piggeh shrugged. "We really don't got anything," he said. "Pewdie pretty much made it clear that he was hoping we would come up with it."

"We're literally making it up on the spot," I sighed. "Find everyone, defeat the Barrels. That's our big plan."

"Stupid, eh?" Piggeh asked.

We sat in silence, before bursting into dumb laughter.

But the laughter didn't even last ten seconds before Piggeh stopped, his dumb smile melting off his face. His ears twitched above his head, twisting and turning around like a sonar dish. Piggeh perked up, turning his head towards on end of the hall. His nose twitched.

I stopped laughing. "Piggeh?" I stammered.

"They..." Piggeh muttered, his eyes growing wide enough for me to see the whites. "They... they're..."

"What?" I demanded, my heart skipping a beat. "Spit it out, man."

"Monster! It followed us!" Piggeh gasped, lunging quickly from his side of the hallway to mine. Before I could let out a startled gasp, Piggeh slapped his hand against my mouth and hugged me close, trembling with fear. "Shhhhh! Don't move!"

I froze in place at my friend's request, my eyes searching through the pitch darkness in hopes to see whatever it was that Piggeh was so scared about. But after I realized that in this situation my eyes were going to fail me, I quit trying. Being blind however, it only seemed to further melt down my sanity. So I did something that I've never done before; I opened up the rest of my senses, trying desperately to grab a hold of something.

My skin developed goosebumps when I felt a cool breeze brush past us both, like the deep exhale of a large giant. A sharp, prickly smell like insanity and sorrow smothered my nose, topped off with a slight hint of blood lust. My ears twitched, sounds so small that I've never heard them before started to attract my attention; the scuttling of mice and bugs as they ran away, air currents and even my blood pumping quietly through my eardrums.

"Here it comes..." Piggeh breathed out.

A low, liquified moan of a Servant Brute reached my ears almost as if on que, the sound of heavy chains scraping on the floors following close by. My heart stopped beating for the count of three as soon as it occurred to me how close it really was. Goosebumps rose even higher on my skin. My hairs started to pretty much turn grey on the spot, stress and fear piling up inside my mind by the second as I blindly waited for the thing to pass by. We had nothing to defend ourselves with, and there was a Servant Brute sniffing us out right now. We were pretty much screwed if we got caught.

The sound of heavy plodding footsteps and dragging chains right in front of us. My blood turned to pure ice as I prepared to piss myself and run away screaming. Piggeh trembled even more fiercely, tightening his fearful grip on me. I was starting to wonder if I would get torn apart first or suffocated by Piggeh.

The monster started moving away again. Piggeh's grip on me loosened significantly, enough so that I could breathe again.

We waited there in the corner for another five minutes before Piggeh finally let go of my mouth and scooted away from me. We just sat there in silence, dumbfounded by our luck. It was amazing.

"Heh..." Piggeh chuckled. "He passed us right by."

"Heh..." I agreed, trying to make it sound genuine. When I decided it wasn't genuine enough, I let out another laugh, this one sliding out slightly easier. "Ha ha..."

"Ha ha ha...!" Piggeh continued.

"Ha ha ha!"

"Hahahahahaha!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Piggeh slapped a hand over my mouth. "Not... quite that loud, Mr. Chair..."

I nodded warily. "Okay... can we go now?"

Piggeh let out a grunt of approval. "Yeah. Leggo."

"GRAAAAAGH!"

Piggeh looked at me, his eyes widening so that they were large enough for me to see them clearly. "Fuck my life," he hissed.

"Every time," I groaned. "We gotta keep our mouths shut."

Both of us scrambled to our feet, desperately clinging to each other as we started to run in the direction we came from. The quick-paced dragging of chains piled on to the sudden stress put on our minds as we bolted as fast as we could, our legs pumping and our breaths quick and shallow—a feeling we were all-too familiar with. Piggeh, desperately scared, grabbed my hand and ran as fast as he could. Both of us had rested for a little bit (or at least I was), so I was physically ready for this run.

But even then I could hear the approaching sound of dragging chains and howls of rage.

"He's getting closer!" Piggeh warned, already panting. He started to lag behind, still gripping my arm with everything he had.

"Then run faster!" I yelled back.

"I can't go any faster, Bro! I got stupid wounds on my back that sting like a mother fucker!" Piggeh took a breath before continuing: "THAT I GOT FROM SOME DREAM WORLD!"

"Ignore it, asshole!"

The beating of my heart sent blood roaring through my ears like a lion, but the sound wasn't enough to mute out the scraping of bloody chains and the pained whimpers of my best friend. I started to curse every single swear word I knew, starting from English to Japanese to Italian and French to keep myself occupied. I prayed every prayer to every god/goddess I could think of. I whispered every blessing, curse, charm, and even stupid spells from old spell books in our library in hopes that it would do something. Just let us survive this... please...

The sound of the chains and horrible growls faded away. Piggeh managed to pull ahead and yank me into a corner, clinging to me and trembling like a leaf on a windy morning. This part of the East Wing at least had a small candle that flickered quietly, giving us just enough life to not lose what little scraps of sanity and morale we had left in our systems. "Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck," Piggeh kept muttering, barely taking a breath between each interval.

"We gotta get outta the East Wing..." I decided, starting to set off into the hall only to realize I had completely lost my sense of direction. "Where are we, exactly?"

Piggeh gulped, still shaking. "We're in the dead center."

"Wait," I paused. "A—Are you serious?"

Piggeh nodded.

"No shit?"

"No shit."

I held my breath. "Well... let's go..."

Piggeh didn't move.

"Piggeh," I said, tugging on my friend's hand. "Let's go. We gotta get the fuck outta here!"

Piggeh's ears swiveled, his eyes constricting to pinpricks. His jaw went slack as his muscles stiffened, his ears folding back on his head as he feverishly looked over his shoulder. I saw this look of horror thousands upon millions of times from my friend, and it usually meant one thing:

We're too late.

"Pigge—!"

Piggeh let go of my hand and kicked me backwards, using enough force to send me flying two yards away from him before landing hard on my ass. The panic numbed the pain, but it didn't help with the temporary paralysis. Frozen in total terror, it didn't even take me three seconds before I heard the sound of a blood-lusting roar of rage.

And before I could react, a large hand shot out and wrapped itself around Piggeh's throat, digging its blood-caked nails and making tiny crescents in his skin.

"NO!" I screeched, shaking off the paralysis as I scrambled to my feet and grabbed the giant candlestick nearby, brandishing the flame like a spear. "Back off you bitch!"

The Servant Brute shuffled from around the corner, still holding onto Piggeh like a small kitten. It barely paid any mind to me, inspecting my best friend like a toy that had been found on the streets, checking for quality or blemishes (even though the monster was blind). Piggeh grasped at the monster's fingers that wrapped tightly around his neck, gasping and hacking desperately for air. Piggeh's eyes were fully trained on the monster's face, unable to look away, his eyes swiftly transforming from a light purple to a dark red, sanity replaced with madness; innocence with blood lust; fear with glee.

The Brute raised his sword.

"I SAID GET BACK!" I screamed, thrusting the flaming candle forward. The small flame grazed the oil and blood soaked rags, setting them up in flames as quickly as a dry tinderbox. The monster let out a howl of pain, dropping Piggeh to the ground in a heap and running off in panic.

Piggeh lay in a pile on the ground, completely motionless.

I dropped to my knees, plucking the candle off the iron post and crawling towards Piggeh. "Bro...?" I whimpered, tears almost springing up in my eyes. If he was gone, and he left me behind here in the East Wing alone...

Piggeh twitched.

"*Cough,* *gasp,* *splutter.*"

My heart soared.

"Bro! Dude! Brochacho!" I started to shake Piggeh. "Get up! We gotta get outta here!"

Piggeh stopped wheezing, lay still for a half second, and giggled.

I stopped shaking him. "P—Piggeh?"

My friend started to giggle again, quietly enough to not attract any unwanted attention, but just loud enough from me to hear clearly. He moved his head, shifting to look up at me. I let out a gasp.

A large, unsettling grin had permanently been plastered across his face, his eyes nothing but small red pinpricks. The bruises around his neck were starting to fade, but the damage had effectively been done. He giggled at me, flashing his bright white teeth at me happily.

"Oh my god..." I whispered.

Piggeh pushed himself off the ground and sat up against the wall, twiddling his thumbs as he looked at me, smiling.

Grinning.

Laughing.

"P... Piggeh... Bro..." I murmured.

"Heheheheeee!" Piggeh giggled in response, still grinning. "It's gone...!"

"G—Gone...?" I echoed back. "Wha... What's gone?"

"My sanity~!" Piggeh answered back in a happy sing-song voice, starting to giggle like he was getting tickled. "Aaaaaall~! Gooooone~!"

My heart skipped three beats. "No..."

Piggeh let out a slightly louder laugh, looking at me innocently and expectantly. "I won't hurt you, Mr. Chair," he reassured. "I still know you're my friend!"

I didn't know whether to feel relieved or scared shitless.

"S—Sanity potion...!" I stammered out quickly. "You need a—a sanity pot—potion...! Right now!"

Piggeh nodded in agreement. "That sounds lovely, governa!" He burst out laughing at his terrible joke.

I tried not to show my fear.

Piggeh looked at me, still smiling. "So~! Where do we go now~?"

Aaaaaaand... four-of-a-kind, bitches!

Are you fucking serious?! I bet my best paintball gun for this, and you get a four-of-a-kind!?

Boom, bitch! Get out the way! Get out the way, bitch! Get out the way!

Hold up! Royal flush, asshole! Athena, go ahead and take your gun back.

Thank you.

FUCK ME! I BET 30,000 BUCKS!

You have a week to get the money.

Anyways, be sure to favorite and follow if you enjoyed, become an Awesomer Army Member today! A final salute, and I'll see you all soon! I'm The Awesomer, signing off!

-The Awesomer

I'm Aether, signing out!

-Aether

And I'm the master gambler and poker-player Nether, signing out, for now.

-Nether