A/N: This is the final chapter, and there is only an epilogue left to go! Wow, I can't believe I've nearly finished another story (:
Thank you all for your constant support of this, and all my other, stories. You guys are the reason I write, you're amazing ^_^
Chapter Twenty
The day they gave her back, Hayden came to the house with a backpack that was spilling over the brim with toys and clothes, clutching a teddy bear in her hands. Katniss sat on the sofa, not moving at all, holding Willow on her knee like a teddy of her own. Willow didn't understand. She poked at Katniss' face and tugged on her hair, giggling every so often at how Katniss remained emotionless.
It was clear that Hayden was trying to hide her excitement. She understood that Katniss and Peeta would struggle to give Willow up but she couldn't help feeling overjoyed to know that her baby was coming back to her. Peeta was explaining things to her, about how Willow couldn't sleep during storms and how she didn't like broccoli, and it was making everything so much more surreal. Katniss could hear the dread in his voice, could physically feel how reluctant he was to give Willow back. They had known this day was coming, they just hadn't prepared properly for it.
"Haymitch will be keeping tabs on you," Peeta informed Hayden. "If we hear of anything foul going on, we'll take Willow back, do you understand? We gained that right when you left her on Katniss' doorstep."
Hayden nodded. "I understand completely."
Katniss felt them coming closer and she clutched Willow tighter. No. Not yet. She wasn't ready. She felt Peeta's hand on her shoulder and she shook her head. "Katniss," he said softly, "please." His voice was pleading, begging her not to make him prise Willow from her arms. It would only make things harder and it would be a miserable experience for not only Katniss and Peeta, but Willow too.
Katniss exhaled shakily and stood up. She turned around to face Hayden and Peeta, hugging Willow against her desperately. "If you dare misplace the trust we are giving you, not only will we take Willow back but I will hunt you down and make you pay for it," she said, being a lot less ethical than Peeta had been.
Again, Hayden nodded. "I understand," she said. She held her arms out, smiling hopefully. "You can see her whenever you want to."
Katniss glanced at Peeta but quickly looked away when she saw he was tearing up. Salt water was swelling in her own eyes too and she had to push them away forcefully as she walked around the sofa and handed Willow over.
Willow realised what was happening. She grabbed Katniss' braid, clinging to her desperately, her face scrunching up and tears falling from her eyes. Katniss' heart broke as the child began to scream, kicking out at Hayden and trying to stay in Katniss' embrace. "Willow, it's okay," Katniss said, trying to sound soothing, but her voice only surfaced as a choked sob.
Hayden untangled the baby's hand from Katniss hair and transferred her into her own arms easily. She tried to hush Willow as she went for the door by holding her against her chest, so her head was on her shoulder. Katniss stepped back, blindly searching for Peeta's hand, when it happened.
"Mama!" Willow cried, blue eyes locked on Katniss as she reached out and scrabbled at the air for her. "Mama! Dada!"
Peeta grabbed Katniss as she lunged forward. Hayden turned out, having heard the ruckus, and jumped at the sight of Peeta having to physically restrain Katniss from coming after her. "Give her back, I've changed my mind!" Katniss screamed. "She wants to stay with us, she doesn't want you!"
"Hayden, leave!" Peeta shouted urgently.
"Willow wants us, not her!" Katniss sobbed, battering Peeta with her fists as Hayden threw the door open and slammed it shut again behind her. "We looked after her, she loves us now! We can't just leave her like that!"
Peeta restrained Katniss' fists, stopping her from beating him any further. His face was soaked with tears and he was trying hard not to break down himself. "She's not our baby," he said brokenly. "We could never have kept her."
"But why? She would never have known any different!" Katniss screamed at him.
"But we would have!" Peeta replied.
Katniss' bottom lip quivered. She gasped for breath, tears spurting from her like a fountain. Her hands trembled as Peeta released her wrists. He was right. They could never have kept the charade that they were Willow's parents going forever. It would come out in some shape or form, even if it wasn't from Katniss or Peeta's mouths. It would take some years, which only made it worse, but eventually it would have come out to Willow that Katniss and Peeta weren't really her parents and that they turned her real mother away, and she would probably have hated them for it.
Peeta took a shuddering breath. He closed his eyes, making more tears drip onto his shirt, and he inhaled sharply. "I didn't think it would be so hard," he murmured.
Katniss eyed him through her tears. She sniffed and closed the distance between their bodies, her arms wrapping around his back and her face pressing into his chest. "I didn't think I would ever love a child again," she said. "Prim had been . . . I thought she would be the only . . ."
"I know," Peeta said, pressing his face against the top of her head.
"I can't be alone again," Katniss gasped, fear seizing her heart at the idea of having to bid Peeta farewell. Of him going back to live in his own house as if the past five months hadn't happened at all.
"As long as I live and breathe," said Peeta, "you will never be alone."
Katniss shuddered in their embrace. She didn't care that she was getting his shirt covered in tears, or that she probably looked a state, all she wanted to do was hug Peeta and cry. The thing she should have done when she found him planting the primroses outside her house. She could see it now: hugging him; crying; telling him that she appreciated his efforts; inviting him into her house so they could catch up. Instead she was mad, stupidly so, and walked away.
She would never walk away from him again.
"Leevy said that the memorial will be ready tomorrow," Katniss said, wandering completely off topic to save herself the pain that was causing her heart to palpitate. "There's going to be an unveiling or something . . ."
"Are you going to go?" Peeta asked.
Katniss could see a time when she would have said no. That seeing Primrose's name on a memorial statue for the dead would send her into a crazy, miserable state. However, now she wanted to go. She wanted to go to salute her sister, to remember that even though she was gone, her memory would forever live on.
"Yes," Katniss murmured. "I am."
Peeta stayed again that night. Katniss would cry on and off, thinking that she was okay but then remembering how Willow looked when she shouted 'Mama!' and falling over all over again. Peeta didn't care that he had to stay awake with her. He preferred staying in her bed and comforting her to the alternative: going home and knowing that she was alone with her fear and misery.
The next day, Katniss found a dress that Cinna had made her at the back of her wardrobe. It had been designed for the reaping of the Quarter Quell tributes, before they had known what the Quarter Quell entailed. It was a summer dress. It was light, simple and the tartan material was a gorgeous yellow colour that reminded Katniss of dandelions. She pulled it on and looked in the mirror. Her arms and legs were exposed with it on, her burned, withered skin on display. No, maybe not.
Katniss turned around, intent on pulling the dress off, when Peeta returned from the bathroom. His breath caught in his throat, his eyes widening at the sight of her in the dress. Katniss feared what he was going to say about her putting so much of her damage on display. She rubbed her arm sheepishly and tried not to flee the room with terror.
"You look beautiful," Peeta said with awe.
Katniss' head snapped up. She let go of her arm and straightened up, feeling suddenly empowered by Peeta's words. Peeta was not a liar and she trusted him to tell her when she looked good and when she didn't. "Thank you," she murmured.
She kept the dress on.
Peeta, too, made an effort. He hadn't went into town since his hijacking attack and wanted to make sure he looked as well put together as possible. Katniss helped him comb his hair back and went with him to his house to help him pick out a nice outfit. Not that she knew much about clothes but she guessed she knew a bit more than Peeta did. When Haymitch saw them from his porch: Katniss wearing a dress and Peeta with his hair combed back, he smiled with relief. He knew Hayden had taken Willow the previous day and had worried that both the kids would have broken down.
"You going to the memorial unveiling?" he asked.
"Yep, just need to pick Peeta out some clothes," Katniss said.
"I'll make the journey into town with you guys," Haymitch replied.
"Okay, we'll see you in a couple of minutes."
Katniss picked Peeta out a nice, forest green button down with a pair of dark denim jeans to match. That, matched with his freshly combed hair and a pair black sneakers, made him look very handsome. He'd have the remaining Merchant girls pounding his door down, maybe some Seam and Capitolites too. Katniss frowned. No, actually, that wasn't a good thing. Peeta was hers and she was his.
Katniss, Peeta and Haymitch walked into town as a threesome. Katniss hadn't realised that her hand was resting in the crook of Peeta's elbow until they made it into the centre of the partly rebuilt Merchant Square. The crowd practically parted for them, as if everyone knew that they deserved to stand at the front of the audience. They didn't stare, or gape, or point, or make comments as they passed through, like when Katniss and Peeta would travel through Capitol crowds with linked arms. They simply parted to let them through and made no big deal of the fact that Katniss was holding onto Peeta's arm, as if they were back together.
Leevy had the honours of unveiling the memorial, as she had put the most time and thought into it. Katniss couldn't comprehend how big it was, shrouded in a tarp so she couldn't see what it looked like. Leevy made a speech beforehand. "A wise man once said that our lives aren't measured in years, that they are measured in the lives of the people we've touched around us," she said, quoting Peeta's victory tour speech from District 11, "and every name on this memorial has touched someone's life in one way or another. The people here aided the fight to our freedom, others were simply slaves to the initiative. They all earned a place here, however, in our minds and our hearts."
Leevy waited for the applause to die down before she continued. "Not everyone who aided our cause so valiantly died, either," she said. "And we have the honour of being in the presence of people who gave everything up in the hopes of saving the people of Panem." Her eyes fell on Katniss, eyes shining. "We want to thank you, Katniss, as a district, for everything you have done for us. We never got to say those simple words to you. We will be eternally grateful for all that you have done."
Katniss wasn't one for being singled out. She didn't know what to do or say. Her throat hurt but she nodded at Leevy, unable to speak she was so choked up. Leevy walked over to her and took her hand, bringing her over to the tarp. "I'm not going to unveil this," Leevy told her. "You are."
Katniss looked at Leevy with shock. The other girl simply nodded, gesturing for her to pull the tarp down. She looked out at the crowd, and saw a few Capitol cameras being held at the back. The whole of Panem was seeing this right now. For once, that didn't scare her.
She took the tarp and yanked it away. The crowd's applause was deafening. Katniss stepped back to get a better look at it.
It was a huge pedestal, with three Mockingjays sitting at different levels on top of it. The one right on top of the pedestal was one similar to Katniss' pin. Trapped in a golden circle with an arrow in its mouth. The second was attached to the top right of the first, and the circle was breaking apart and the bird was coming free. And finally, attached in the same way, was the third, towering above everything else with no circle to contain it and its wings spread as it took off in flight.
On the huge pedestal, was hundreds of names. At the front, where Katniss stood, was DISTRICT 12 written in gold cursive, and every name of every person who died in the rebellion was 12 was written there. Madge Undersee was the first that caught Katniss' eye and her breath caught in her throat. Then just above that . . .
Primrose Everdeen.
Katniss reached out with a shaky hand and brushed her fingers over her sister's name. She felt a hand touch her arm and she smiled at Peeta, who had seemed concerned about her. Her eyes scanned the names further as some others from the crowd approached to have a look as well. In the middle of the District 12 section was where she saw more names she recognised.
Damien Mellark.
Semira Mellark.
Nathan "Naan" Mellark.
Ryean "Rye" Mellark.
"Peeta," Katniss whispered, reaching out and grabbing his hands. "They're all here."
Peeta was staring at his family's names, and Katniss could tell that he was having to force himself not to cry. She squeezed his hand tight and he looked at her, a small smile playing on his lips. "They are," he said.
They moved around the memorial and realised that every District was on it. Not only for people who died in the rebellion, but in the Games too. They went around the whole memorial, examining each District and pointing out names they recognized. Some memories pleasant, others not so much.
"When Annie comes, we have to show her this," Katniss said as she rubbed her thumb over Finnick's name, the first one for District 4.
"We do," Peeta agreed.
Katniss paused at District 11, where Rue's name stood proudly at the top. She smiled fondly, leaning her head against Peeta's arm. She had always tried not to think too much about Rue, because it was too painful for her to relive, but now Katniss remembered the good things. Their allying together; Rue's smile; her spirit. The memories of the dead did not have to be shrouded with darkness.
Once they'd made it the full way around, Katniss saw Haymitch standing at the District 12 segment, smiling at the name Maysilee Donner. She went over to him and hugged him, something that she and Haymitch both did not have a particular care for. When they parted, she smiled at him.
"We stayed alive," she said.
Haymitch chuckled. "You did indeed."
Hayden emerged from the crowd, pushing Willow in a buggy. Katniss' breath caught in her throat and she grabbed Peeta for support. Haymitch's granddaughter went straight to them, her eyes tired but full of love. "Hi," she said.
"Hello," Peeta replied when Katniss failed to.
"Thank you," Hayden said. "For being a parent to her when I couldn't be. I don't plan on taking her away from you both and I actually want you, alongside Haymitch to be involved in her life." She smiled at Katniss and asked, "You can hold her if you want."
Katniss crouched to the ground to be eye level with Willow. "Mama!" Willow exclaimed, innocent delight filling her features.
"Hello sweetheart," Katniss said, feeling choked up all over again. She unbuckled the belt in the buggy and lifted Willow out, holding the baby to her like they had never been parted. She stepped closer to Peeta, allowing him to take her for a little bit too while Haymitch and Hayden chatted.
"Dada," Willow laughed, immediately going for Peeta's combed hair and messing it up. Peeta and Katniss took this time with her, to fully appreciate and understand the beautiful innocence that they had kept under their roof for five months. And even though they would have to give her back again, it was not goodbye forever.
Life would go on.
Just as it always does.
Important message guys!
Josh Hutcherson's girlfriend has been receiving a lot of hate on her newly opened Instagram, simply because she is dating him. I urge anyone who has an Instagram to send her an encouraging message or comment to show that we're not all toxic. Right now, these people telling her to kill herself are representing the hunger games fandom, and the Hutcher fandom, and even the Joshifer fandom who, believe it or not, have been contributing more hate than anyone else. We need to help Claudia before these awful people push it too far!
(her Instagram name is clatraisac in case you guys don't know)
I just think a little comfort and encouragement towards her wouldn't go amiss right now.
Thank you (: