Chapter 21: Our Friend
It was several days before James and his friends had a chance to read the encyclopedia entry on werewolves. Every time Remus disappeared for the library, something else would turn up – Frank Longbottom and Alexander Thorne would be in the dormitory doing homework, or James and Sirius would have Quidditch practice or detention.
But then, finally, the perfect chance came along. Remus had gone to the library with Lily Evans; Frank and Alexander were down in the common room; and James, Sirius, and Peter had the entire afternoon free. When they walked into the blissfully empty dormitory, James flung his schoolbag carelessly across the room and crossed directly to Remus' desk, where the encyclopedia sat, as always, on the top shelf.
The three boys gathered on Peter's bed, drawing the curtains shut and casting their usual privacy charms, even as James laid his hand on the silver plate on the cover and said, "Werewolves."
James nearly dropped the book when it opened to a photograph of a snarling wolf with wicked-looking teeth and eerie golden eyes. As they watched, the wolf snapped at the camera, straining against whatever wards held it in place, obviously keen to get at the wizard behind the lens. After a moment, it dropped back and began to pace back and forth, its unsettling eyes never leaving the camera. It restrained itself only a few seconds before once more hurling itself against the invisible barrier.
"Cor…" Sirius murmured, staring at the page over James' shoulder.
On James' other side, Peter shuddered. "You really think Remus is… that?"
Sirius didn't answer.
"Well," said James softly, mesmerized by the vibrant gold eyes in the photograph. "That's what we're going to find out. Let's see what it says."
Sirius and Peter murmured their agreement, and James began to read aloud.
Werewolves (Homo lupus) are among the most dangerous
dark creatures known to wizardkind and are capable of
killing even the most skilled wizards. The Ministry of Magic
has given werewolves a XXXXX classification and forbids
any attempts to train or domesticate these creatures.
"Domesticate!" Sirius protested, scowling at the book. "Who the hell do they think they are? Keeping other people as pets!"
James shook his head. "You think someone's actually tried to keep a werewolf as a pet?" he asked dubiously.
"Or train one?" Peter asked, looking petrified at the very idea of teaching a werewolf to roll over.
"I'll train them, ruddy Ministry gits," Sirius growled. "Train them not to be pigheaded morons."
Lips twitching, James shrugged. "Well, it does say it's not allowed," he pointed out. "So that's something."
Sirius turned his glare on James, who fidgeted and murmured, "Or not…" He hastily started reading once more.
Lycanthropy is an untreatable, incurable condition
transmitted by the bite of a fully transformed werewolf.
Humans are the only beings known to be susceptible to
the infection and are also werewolves' preferred prey.
For most of the lunar cycle, werewolves are indistinguishable
from humans. On the night of the full moon, however, they
undergo a monstrous transformation into mindless, vicious
beasts, as pictured above.
"Well that's helpful," Sirius said sarcastically. "Indistinguishable from humans my arse! There's got to be some way to tell who turns into a wolf once a month."
"Aside from waiting for the full moon to rise, you mean?" James asked with a smirk. "I reckon it'd be pretty obvious whether or not they've sprouted fur."
Sirius rolled his eyes.
"You can't just watch the transformation!" Peter whimpered. "That's dangerous!"
James resisted the urge to join Sirius in scoffing at Peter's skittishness. "We aren't going to watch the transformation, Pete. 'S not like Remus would let us, anyhow."
Peter breathed a sigh of relief at that, and Sirius rolled his eyes again, snatching the encyclopedia away from James.
"What else does it say?" he asked, scanning down the page. James leaned over to read for himself. The rest of the entry was subdivided into various sections. James skimmed the first paragraph or so of each to see whether it contained any useful information.
Distribution: Werewolves are found throughout the world,
particularly in Europe and North America. They generally
avoid wizarding society, although they may settle down in
muggle towns. More often, they will live in remote forests in
packs of five to twenty-five members. Packs exhibit a clear
hierarchical structure…
...
Reproduction: Werewolves have never been known to breed,
multiplying instead by infecting young, defenseless humans.
Some scholars have suggested that lycanthropy can be passed
from a werewolf to its offspring, although there have been no
known cases of werewolf young to confirm this theory…
...
Feeding Habits: Werewolves are strict carnivores and may
hunt alone or in packs. Humans are their preferred prey, but
at times (particularly in a pack setting) they will feed instead
on other mammals. Rodents and lagomorphs comprise a large
part of a werewolf's diet; large packs may also hunt sheep or
cervids…
And then he saw what he was looking for: a section near the bottom of the second page, labeled Identification. James took the book back from Sirius, who huffed indignantly.
"I was reading that," he protested.
James rolled his eyes. "Down here. Look." He pointed to the section on identification. "That's what we're looking for, isn't it?"
"S'pose so," said Sirius. "What's it say?"
"Let's see…"
Identification: Transformed werewolves are similar in appearance
to gray wolves (Canis lupus), with a few notable differences. Fully
grown werewolves are considerably larger than ordinary wolves:
while gray wolves do not ordinarily exceed three feet at the shoulders,
it is not uncommon to see werewolves that stand four feet tall or
more. In addition to their size, werewolves can be distinguished by
their tufted tail, enlarged teeth and claws, elongate snout, and golden
eyes (in contrast to the blue or yellow-brown eyes seen on common
wolves). Gray wolves' eyes, like those of many other non-magical
creatures, have a reflective structure called the tapetum lucidum,
which allows them to see in low light conditions. Werewolves do not
possess this structure; it is unknown whether they use magic to
enhance their sight, or if they rely on hearing and olfaction for
orientation, navigation, and communication.
"That's it?" Sirius asked when James had finished. "Isn't there anything else? Let me see."
"Nothing," James said, relinquishing his hold on the encyclopedia so Sirius could pore over it once more.
Sirius turned the page, but there was nothing after the short section on identification. The remaining pages were entirely blank. "That can't be all!" Sirius protested. "What do I care if I can tell what's a wolf and what's a werewolf? I want to know how to tell whether Remus is a werewolf or a bloke with a sick mum!"
"I think it's good to know what a werewolf looks like on the full moon," Peter muttered resentfully.
"What for?" Sirius asked. "When something big and toothy jumps at you, run. Easy!"
Worrying his lip, Peter fiddled with his sleeves. "It's still worth knowing… I'll bet you could fight off a normal wolf a lot easier than a werewolf…"
"Here's an idea," Sirius said, shutting the book with a snap. "If it's the full moon, just assume it's a werewolf."
"Anyway," said James in an attempt to head off a row as he threw back the curtains. "One little book can't have all the information in the world, or there wouldn't be more than one. We'll just have to look somewhere else."
With a grimace, Sirius stood up and went to replace the encyclopedia on Remus' desk. "You mean the library, don't you?"
"Well, Sirius," came Remus' voice from the doorway, "if you're looking for books, then yes, the library would be your best bet."
James, Sirius, and Peter all jumped at the sudden statement; the other boy smiled slightly as he shut the door behind himself. "Sorry," he said, amusement playing across his face. "Didn't mean to startle you."
James shook himself and climbed to his feet. "Don't mention it. We just didn't expect you back so soon. Weren't you doing homework with Evans?"
Remus chuckled. "I was. Then we finished."
"But you've hardly been gone an hour," Sirius pointed out.
"Amazing how much I can get done without you lot underfoot, isn't it?" Remus plunked his bag down on the desk and began to unload his books. He glanced over his shoulder at Peter, who remained on his bed, seemingly spooked by Remus' presence so soon after they'd been discussing werewolves. "Find anything useful?"
James frowned. "What—?"
"Oh!" Sirius cut across. "The prank!"
"Right…" James nodded vigorously. "The prank!" He glanced at Sirius. "Er… We've got a few leads, but we need to do more research."
"Hence the library," added Sirius.
Remus gave them both an odd look. "Well, for what it's worth, I've got a few ideas. I couldn't find any creatures that you'd be able to get your hands on, but I've got a spell or two that should work in a pinch."
"That so?" James asked, falling back onto Peter's bed. He flashed a grin toward Sirius. "Looks like you might be spared the horrors of the library after all, mate."
"Sounds good to me." Sirius grabbed Remus and pulled him onto Peter's bed with the others. "What'd you have in mind?"
-.-.-
Friday evening found the three second years feeling extremely out-of-place in the nearly empty library. With no major tests or assignments on the horizon, and with the weather unusually mild for early April, very few students were keen to keep themselves cooped up in a room full of books. Even the Ravenclaws who studied non-stop did so outside for once.
Lily's friend Alice Howard had dragged her down to the lake with the other second year girls, and even Remus had decided to go visit Hagrid after dinner. He'd invited the other three, of course, but they'd all found an excuse not to go. James and Sirius told him they were going to find some Slytherins to antagonize— one pastime neither Remus nor Peter ever took part in, if they could help it. Peter, therefore, had needed his own excuse.
"Homework, Pete?" Sirius groaned as the three of them found a secluded table at which to work. They'd spent the last half hour gathering every book they could find that dealt with werewolves, dark creatures, or magical diseases, and the sheer volume of reading before them was overwhelming. Sirius, needless to say, was not happy. "Really? Of all the idiotic excuses…"
Peter flushed, dumping his load of books beside Sirius'. "Sorry. What was I supposed to say?"
"I don't know, anything? You're lucky he didn't bloody well offer to help you!"
"He did," Peter murmured, sinking down into his seat. "But everyone knows I'm a numpty. It'd take me twice as long as him anyhow, so I told him to go on ahead, I'd get started and he could help me out tomorrow."
"Brilliant," Sirius said sarcastically. "Ruddy brilliant, Pete. Now you've just got to get a few hours' worth of homework done before he gets back."
"Not necessarily." James grinned as an idea occurred to him. "Not if we came along and distracted him, dragged him off to explore the castle when we couldn't find Snivellus or Malfoy." He opened a book called Werewolf: Being or Beast? "Besides, that gives us a ready-made excuse if Remus turns up here before we're done."
"And when Remus asks why Peter needs a bunch of books on werewolves for his Charms homework…?" Sirius asked, grabbing Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them.
"Simple," said James. "Just as soon as Remus turns up, we tell Peter enough's enough and kindly reshelf all his books for him. Remus'll never get a chance to see what we've been reading."
Sirius took a moment to consider this, then nodded. "Fine. Let's just get started already. I'm gonna smell like library for a week as it is."
James needed no further prompting to get started. They worked mostly in silence, except when one of them found something worth sharing. Peter, for instance, found a section in Werewolves in the Dark and Other Creatures of the Night that detailed the process of transformation. From dislocated joints to torn muscles to broken bones, the ordeal sounded so agonizing that James stared blankly at his book for the next several minutes, his brain refusing to make sense of the words before him.
Once, when he was ten, James had fallen off his broom and broken his leg. Although a Healer at St. Mungo's had mended the break in an instant, the leg had ached for some time afterwards. James remembered milking his pain for all it was worth, lying around for a full week while his parents fetched him whatever he asked for.
Remus hardly ever missed more than a single day of classes.
He can't be going through all that every month, James told himself desperately. He just can't. There's no way anyone could break bones and tear muscles and dislocate joints and then just go around as if nothing happened!
"We still don't know he's a werewolf," he said aloud, clamping down on the rising guilt. He's not a werewolf. He's not. "I mean, look, I feel bad for any werewolf who's got to go through this rubbish, but Remus is just a normal kid. We'd know if he was hurting like this."
Peter looked as uncertain as James felt, but Sirius just rolled his eyes. Levitating Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them to the nearby reshelving cart, he grabbed the next book in his pile, Magical Fauna of Europe.
"Just keep looking," he muttered. "We'll find your proof sooner or later."
James wasn't sure whether that was a good thing or not, but he obediently turned back to Werewolf: Being or Beast? He'd already flipped through the chapters on symptoms and behaviors typical of werewolves, but he hadn't found any mention of how to identify werewolves in their human forms. The next chapter covered Ministry policies, and James was about to skip over it when the first sentence caught his eye— The question remains: are werewolves mere Beasts, or are they more human than we like to admit?
Despite himself, James felt curiosity rise up to replace his lingering guilt. He began to read.
Controversy abounds as the Ministry of Magic struggles
to find an answer. In the past, official stance on the issue
of lycanthropy has vacillated considerably. Both the Being
and the Beast Divisions of the Department for the Regulation
and Control of Magical Creatures argue that werewolves fall
under their jurisdiction, and as such, both Divisions have
established their own policies for werewolf regulation. At
present, werewolf classification varies based on the lunar
cycle so that the Being and Beast Divisions share jurisdiction
over registered and feral werewolves.
During the full moon transformation, werewolves are
considered Beasts under the Beast-Being-Spirit Classification
System (BBSCS), as the creatures in this form lack all reason
and self-control. They are therefore subject to all the rights and
restrictions thereof (see Chapter 5 for further discussion of
werewolves as Beasts).
In addition to normal regulations of Beasts, several werewolf-
specific laws have been passed to protect the safety of wizards
and muggles alike. Transformed werewolves are prohibited by
law to come within ten miles of humans without Ministry-approved
containment measures in place. They are not permitted within city
limits under any conditions. Violations of these restrictions may
result in mandatory relocation or referral to Containment Facilities.
Any werewolf that attacks a human being during the full moon is
immediately deemed unsafe and may be put down to prevent
further incidents.
Wizards are permitted to employ any form of self-defense
against transformed werewolves, up to and including lethal
force.
During the rest of the lunar cycle, however, when capable of
near-human intelligence (as per BBSCS definition) werewolves
are considered Beings and are subject to all relevant laws.
To prevent infection of potential offspring, werewolves are not
permitted to marry or have children; they also may not share
a legal residence with underage children not related to them by
blood.
All werewolves must register with the Office of Werewolf Affairs
in the Being Division of the Department for the Regulation and
Control of Magical Creatures. The Werewolf Register is not
available for public viewing; however, the Ministry will disclose
a werewolf's condition when one applies for jobs, housing, or
any Ministry-sponsored program, or seeks medical attention at
St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries (or
similar institutions). This allows all involved to make safe and
informed decisions.
Infractions of werewolf laws set by the Being Division, including
failure to register with the Ministry within ninety days of infection,
are indictable offences and are punishable by fines and/or
imprisonment in Azkaban.
James slammed the book down on the table so hard that both Sirius and Peter looked up in alarm and the familiar sound of Madam Pince, the librarian, shushing them drifted through the silent room. Seeing Sirius' questioning glance, James shook his head and irritably banished Werewolf: Being or Beast? to the reshelving cart.
It wasn't fair! Surely the Ministry wouldn't throw someone in Azkaban just for getting married. And James couldn't imagine that many werewolves would register with the Ministry if it meant they could hardly do anything in the wizarding world without being found out. As if the pain of transformation wasn't enough, it seemed anyone who happened to be a werewolf had to deal with a heap of prejudiced laws, too!
Once they realized James wasn't going to explain himself, Sirius and Peter returned to their books. It wasn't long before Peter made a small, startled sound and all but threw his book at the reshelving cart.
"What was that?" Sirius asked.
Peter shook his head, looking slightly green. "Victims," he said shortly. "You don't want to see."
"You're right," said Sirius, holding up The Magic of Magical Creatures. "Reading about it's bad enough. Listen to this— Wounds inflicted by werewolves are cursed wounds and cannot be healed magically, although certain herbs and potions can provide partial relief. This dark magic resides in both teeth and claws, so both bite and scratch wounds will leave permanent scars."
James' stomach gave an unpleasant lurch as he thought of Remus and all his scars. Something told him that they had just stumbled upon the key to the matter, although he felt as though he were still missing something important. "So what?" he asked nervously. "I'm sure there are loads of ways to get scars like that."
Sirius stared at him like he had just said Hogwarts was made entirely of chocolate. "Maybe if you're a muggle. Any Healer worth two knuts could heal normal scars in a snap, and we know Remus grew up in a magical family. Plus, look at how many scars he's got!"
"Exactly!" James wiped his sweaty palms on his robes. "He's got loads of scars! He can't've got all of them at once!" The image of Remus' scarred face and hands rose in James' mind. He had so many scars – some old, thin, white lines, others pink and lumpy as though just a few weeks old – all of them criss-crossing like a spider's web on his skin.
With an uneasy pang, James realized that he'd never seen Remus without his shirt on; the other boy always changed in the toilets, and he never went swimming with his classmates. How many more scars was he hiding?"
James swallowed the lump in his throat. "There's no way," he said. "What, do you think Remus—?"
James' words died on his tongue. He stared, horrorstruck, at his friends as a sudden, terrible thought occurred to him. From the appalled expression on Sirius' face, a similar notion had struck him at the same moment. Without a word, they began to tear through the remaining books, searching frantically for something to prove them wrong.
James' heart felt like it was trying to burst out of his chest and find somewhere to curl up and die. His breath came in rapid gasps as he told himself, over and over, It's not true. It's not true. Sirius looked equally disturbed by his thoughts. And Peter, meanwhile, looked completely lost.
"Here!" Sirius yelped. From somewhere nearby, Madam Pince shushed them for a second time. The Gryffindors hardly heard her. "In order to prevent themselves attacking nearby humans, many werewolves lock themselves away for their monthly transformations. Frustrated by their confinement and lack of prey, and attracted by the lingering human scent of their own blood, these werewolves will—" Sirius broke off here to draw in a deep, tremulous breath before continuing— "will b-bite and scratch themselves…" He trailed off again, turning his wide eyes on James. "I didn't… I didn't realize…"
James shook his head dizzily, squeezing his eyes shut as the room spun around him. His grip on his book tightened so convulsively that the page began to rip.
Peter whimpered. "Come on guys, be serious! Remus isn't a werewolf! We haven't got any proof!"
"No," said James weakly, not opening his eyes. "We haven't." And yet he found he couldn't deny it any longer. When he thought about all they had learned about werewolves, it was no longer some faceless stranger he pictured. It was Remus. Remus writing in pain as his body rearranged itself into the shape of a wolf, bones popping, muscles straining to hold him together. Remus, as a wolf, tearing into his own flesh and leaving behind the latest in a long series of scars. Remus pretending everything was alright, suffering in silence… Or would the pain be so great that he couldn't help but cry out?
It was as though he had been punched in the gut. The book fell from numb fingers as James' mouth worked soundlessly.
"James?" Peter asked concernedly.
Sirius set his own book aside. "You alright, mate?"
"The Shack," James breathed.
"What?"
"The Shack." James' hands were shaking; he ran them through his hair nervously, staring at the tabletop as his stomach gave a feeble little flutter. "The Shrieking Shack. Don't you remember?" Even to him, his voice sounded flat and hollow, but he found he couldn't stop speaking. "We went down there with Remus, and it was as quiet as a toadstool. Then Remus went to 'see his mum,' and we go back, and… and…"
A quick glanced showed that Sirius and Peter had both paled dramatically.
"The screams?" Sirius asked.
Peter shook his head. "No. No, it can't be."
"The moon was full," James said.
In the silence that followed this statement, James could almost hear the screams they'd heard that night, agonized screams. James had never heard anything like them.
Remus…
"Damn it!" Sirius bellowed suddenly, staggering to his feet and knocking over a stack of books near his left elbow. James and Peter jumped at the sudden movement, even as Madam Pince appeared from behind a bookshelf.
"Really!" the librarian huffed. "This is a library. Show some respect!"
"But it's not bloody fair!" Sirius roared.
Madam Pince looked scandalized, though James couldn't say whether it was the volume or the swearing that offended her. "Young man, if you don't calm down this instant, I'm going to have to ask you to leave!"
"But he's—"
"Sirius!" James interrupted sharply, just in case Sirius had been thinking of saying something stupid.
"Yeah, yeah." Leveling James with a glare, Sirius banished a pile of books with irritable vigor; they crashed against the wall above the reshelving cart and tumbled unceremoniously to the ground.
Madam Pince gasped. "What on Earth are you doing?"
"Cleaning up," Sirius snarled, banishing another stack of books with even less finesse. "If you wanna toss me out, then go ahead!"
It looked as though Madam Pince was considering doing just that, and tacking on a detention besides. Deciding that they didn't need to call attention to their presence in the library, James gave Peter a gentle shove toward Sirius.
"Get him out of here," he hissed, glaring at Sirius to get the same message across. The other boy resisted Peter's feeble pull for a moment, but he apparently saw the murder in Madam Pince's eyes. After a moment, he trudged toward the door with Peter in tow.
James quickly – but carefully – levitated the remaining books onto the cart, which promptly trundled off with its load. He then smiled weakly at the librarian and chased after his friends.
"Alright, Sirius," James grumbled as he rounded the last row of shelves, spotting Sirius and Peter up ahead. "What the bloody hell was—"
He stopped abruptly when he realized they weren't alone.
"James," said Remus in surprise. "You're here, too?"
Sirius had gone stony-faced, his stormy eyes riveted on Remus' scarred face. James thought for a moment that Sirius was going to be sick. James himself knew he would lose it if he looked at Remus right now, with the words from the books running through his head. And Peter, who was shaking visibly, took one petrified glance at Remus before bolting for the doors and vanishing into the corridor beyond.
James bit back a string of colorful curses he'd learned from one of the portraits in the South Tower. If that doesn't make Remus suspicious, nothing will.
Sure enough, Remus frowned after Peter for a long moment before turning expectantly to the others.
"Er… It's a long story?" James said weakly.
"I'm not in any hurry," Remus assured them. "I was just on my way back from Hagrid's and figured I'd see how Peter was coming along." He glanced over James' shoulder, and James turned to see Madam Pince glowering at them.
Wincing, James started for the doors. "Maybe we should leave…"
Remus nodded and gestured for them to lead the way. Once the library doors thudded shut behind them, he asked, "So why were you two in the library? And what happened to Peter? Is he alright? He looked awfully shook up about something."
"We were looking for some Slytherins, like we told you," Sirius said smoothly, evidently finding it easier to think when he didn't have to look Remus in the eye. "But Malfoy decided to go outside with some of the other snakes, and we couldn't very well pick a fight with all of them at once. And since we couldn't find Snivellus anywhere, we went to find Peter. Figured we could go exploring since there was nothing better to do."
Catching onto Sirius' idea, James picked up the story. "But guess who was bugging Peter when we got there?"
"Snivellus," said James and Sirius together.
A furrow appeared between Remus' eyebrows. "What do you mean, 'bugging'?"
"He was being an arse," said Sirius with so much venom James almost believed they had walked in on Snape bullying Peter. "Calling Peter stupid and useless and stuff."
Sending a furtive glance around the corridor, James dropped his voice low. "Peter was practically in tears by the time we showed up and put an end to it."
"And then Madam Pince chased us out."
"Didn't seem to appreciate us dueling in her library," James agreed indignantly.
Remus rolled his eyes. "Big surprise."
James shrugged. "So, look. Peter's a titch embarrassed about all this, and he—" James scratched his neck sheepishly— "he'd probably rather we not tell you about it, so…"
"I won't say a word," Remus promised. "But you'll make sure he's alright? He looked like he was in a right state."
"Yeah." James paused, mulling over Peter's odd reaction. "Yeah. I'll talk to him first chance I get."
-.-.-
That chance came later in the evening when, upon catching sight of Remus, James, and Sirius clambering through the portrait hole, Peter bolted up the stairs to the dormitory. Shooting Sirius a frantic look that he hoped said, Distract Remus! James hurried after Peter.
The dormitory, fortunately, was deserted but for the two of them. Peter tried to hide under his comforter when James entered, but James was in no mood to mess around. Locking the door behind him, James stalked across the room and threw back the blankets.
"It's just me, Peter."
Peter glanced warily toward the door. "Where's…?"
"Sirius is keeping him busy," James said, sitting down beside Peter. "Now what's—?"
"You're wrong."
James blinked at the hard edge Peter's voice had acquired. "What?"
"You're wrong," Peter repeated, doggedly avoiding James' gaze. There was no uncertainly whatsoever in his voice, however, as he pressed on. "You and Sirius. You're wrong. Remus isn't a—" He faltered, then steeled himself— "werewolf."
James frowned. "What makes you say that?"
Suddenly, Peter looked up, fixing James with a defiant, if slightly tearful, glare. "What makes you say he is? A couple of coincidences and you're both convinced it's true! You haven't got any proof." He shook his head stubbornly. "He's not a werewolf. He can't be!"
"But…" James glanced toward the door. "No, you're right." He sighed as Peter gaped at him. They didn't have proof, after all, just a series of suspicions and conjectures. "I think we're on to something here, Peter, I really do. But we won't do anything until we've got actual proof. Alright?"
Slowly, Peter nodded.
"And Peter?" James asked. "I know this is weird, but you've got to try not to run away every time Remus walks into the room."
Flushing, Peter nodded. "I know. It's just…"
"I know." James clapped Peter on the shoulder. "Believe me, Peter, I know. This'll take some getting used to. And Merlin only knows how we're gonna bring this up with him when we get to that." He ran a hand through his hair, blew out a long breath, and smiled at Peter. "But he's still Remus, right?"
After a moment's hesitation, Peter dropped his gaze and mumbled, "Right."
He didn't sound entirely convinced, but James passed this off as the shock of finding out one of his best friends was a werewolf. At any rate, James' own head was spinning with all the new information.
"Just sleep on it," he suggested. "Things'll look better in the morning."
Peter looked immensely relieved at the prospect of sleep, and he bid James a good night. James returned the sentiment before trudging back down to the common room, where Sirius and Remus looked up expectantly.
"How is he?" Remus asked softly when James joined them on the sofa in the corner.
James shrugged. "He needs a little time, I think, but he'll be fine. Just give him some space for the next few days."
They spoke no more on the subject of Peter than night, at least until Remus had gone to bed. Once they were sure the rest of their dormmates were asleep, James and Sirius climbed onto James' bed, drew the curtains, and cast a battery of privacy charms.
"Is he alright with it?" Sirius asked at once. "Honestly?"
"Actually, he's still not convinced Remus is a werewolf," James admitted. "He's just a little overwhelmed. So the first thing we'll have to do is prove we're right."
Sirius snorted. "And how exactly do you suggest we do that?"
"I don't know, but we'll think of something. Anyway, once we've convinced him, then we'll worry about his reaction. Hopefully he'll be alright with it."
"Yeah."
They sat in silence for a while as James worked up the courage to voice the question he'd been dying to ask all night.
"What about you, Sirius? Are you alright with this?"
"Hell no!"
James flinched.
Shaking his head, Sirius grabbed James' pillow and punched it. "I mean, I figured Remus had to be a werewolf, and that's why he always looked tired when he got back from visiting his mum, but this? The transformation and the biting himself all the time?"
"Not to mention the Ministry policies," James added.
"What?"
With a shrug, James recounted what he'd read about werewolf legislation. "And we're underage," he added. "If anyone finds out he's been sharing a dorm with us…" James shuddered. "He could go to Azkaban."
Sirius' eyes widened. "Blimey…"
"I know. We've got to keep it secret."
"Of course." Sirius nodded, scowling. "It's not fair! Remus is one of the best blokes I know! How come he's got to suffer like that?"
"I don't know." James scrubbed at his eyes, feeling suddenly tired. "I guess that means you're alright with Remus, though."
"Of course I'm alright with Remus. He hasn't changed just 'cause we found out the truth." Sirius eyed James suspiciously. "You haven't got a problem, have you?"
Huffing, James snatched his pillow from Sirius to throw it at his head. "Course not! It's like you said – Remus is Remus, whatever he gets up to on full moons."
For a few minutes, they sat in silence, each lost in his own thoughts. Inexplicably, James' mind drifted to the beginning of his first year, to the day of the Gryffindors' and Ravenclaws' first flying lesson.
"Remember when Gilderoy knocked Remus off his broom?" he asked suddenly.
Sirius nodded.
"I was just thinking – Remus broke his arm when he fell, but he didn't make a peep. It must've hurt, wouldn't you think?"
Sirius shifted uncomfortably. "I suppose. But you know Remus. He never lets on when something's wrong. I mean, look at this summer. He— Oh!"
"What?"
"Nothing. I've just thought of something. Hang on." Sirius ducked between the bed hangings and disappeared. A moment later, he returned with a small booklet in his hand.
"Lunar charts," Sirius explained. "I nicked 'em from the library a couple days ago. Haven't had a chance to look through them yet, but I wonder… Yeah. Look! There was a full moon at the end of term last year— the day after Remus left. And…" He flipped a page in the booklet. "The twenty-fourth of August. We were all at Peter's then. That's why Remus didn't come."
James smiled grimly. "Think this'll convince Peter?"
"Worth a try."
"Yeah." James paused. "Turn to November for a second."
Sirius did.
"The twentieth. Wasn't that the day we heard the screaming from the Shack?"
Sirius shuddered, but nodded. "So it was Remus."
"I guess so." James felt a chill run up his back. "And if he doesn't even whimper when he breaks his arm, how much pain does he have to be in to scream like that?"
Drawing in a shaky breath, Sirius shook his head. "We've got to find a way to help him."
"How?" James asked. "All the books I read said no one's found any charm or potion that helps, even a little. What are we supposed to do?"
"I don't know… Something!"
Through a gap in the curtains, they heard Frank Longbottom stir in the next bed over.
"We've got to figure something out," Sirius whispered. "He's our friend, James."
"Our best friend," James agreed.
"So we'll find a way to help him?"
James nodded. "Whatever it takes."