Author's Note: Okay, since these are bloopers from the entire fanfic, they'll be from the third person and Kyon's perspective randomly. Also, I haven't said this in a while.
I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya or the awesome movie coming out this February, The Disappearance of Haruhi Suzumiya. The movie has nothing to do with this chapter but still, watch it when it's subbed!
And we roll on.
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Omake 2
The Bloopers of Haruhi Suzumiya
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Episode 1, Scene 1, Take 1
"Action!"
Kyon is walking up the hill, musing to himself and sometimes talking out loud, when Taniguchi comes up from behind him.
"Yo,Kyon!"
And delivers a heavy punch instead.
Kyon falls forward, right into the other camera.
Taniguchi just stands there while the camera crew check on Kyon.
"Oops."
Scene 6, Take 1
"Action!"
Kyon knocks on the door.
"Come in."
Kyon opens the door, and Yuki is standing there wearing the waitress outfit.
Kyon then bursts out laughing, along with just about everyone else.
She just stands there.
"What?"
Scene 6, Take 2
"Come in."
Kyon opens the door and Mikuru is in her frog costume holding a long meter stick with Yuki tied to a chair.
She stands there for a second.
"It's not what it looks like!"
"I'm not sure what it looks like."
A boom falls.
Kyon turns to the camera.
"I think that's enough."
Scene 6, Take 5
"Come in."
Kyon opens the door, sees everything is normal.
He walks in and is crushed by Koizumi who falls through the ceiling.
"And that's why the theory of relativity is absolutely bullsh-Where am I?"
"Sorry!"
The camera pans up and a large hole is in the ceiling.
"Um, I think we should just cut."
Scene 9, Take 1
"So I'm sorry Kyon, for everything."
She bows.
"Well, thank you Haruhi."
Kyon turns around.
"One more thing."
Kyon turns around, and is shot by Haruhi using a saw-off shotgun.
She then looks dead into the camera.
"That's why you should never get me angry."
Episode 3, Scene 4, Take 1
Kyon and Tsuruya are standing at the shooting gallery.
Kyon fires off his shots and gets nothing.
Tsuruya fires her shots and hits all of the targets.
"Yes!"
"You win the grand prize!"
The vender hands Tsuruya a large cat....thing.
"Awesomes!"
She grabs it. It then looks dead at Kyon.
"If you ever eat a grapefruit, be sure to throw it at someone first, that makes the peel easier to remove and will also cure cancer."
Giant WTF?! Moment.
Kyon then walks offstage with his hands up.
"That's it, I'm done. That's just way to weird for me."
The giant cat...thing then floats away.
With Tsuruya in tow.
…..
"Shouldn't someone do something?"
Scene 14, Take 1
It was then I saw Nagato.
She was playing DDR.
With the fastest song.
On Guru mode.
I could barely see her move.
I walked over and this continued for about 30 minutes.
She then missed a note and lost.
She stopped dead in her tracks.
And stood there.
I could feel the anger in her slowly rise and I backed away for precaution.
I saw Mikuru and Koizumi hiding behind me, with Mikuru crying.
Umm.....this isn't going to end well.
Then it happened.
"Motherf**ker."
She then walked away.
We stood there for an eternity until Haruhi came and got us.
For the rest of my life, I will never experience that much fear ever again.
Episode 5, Scene 11, Take 1
I walked over the the table with my cereal and ate.
I then felt a tap on the shoulder.
I turned around and saw Nagato.
"Yeah?"
"..."
She handed me a few pictures.
"...Thank you."
She had a slight blush on her face.
Ooookaaayyy.
I took one look at the pictures and knew immediately why.
Sometime during the night, someone had taken a picture of well........let your imagination do the work, of me and Nagato.
I could feel myself becoming red as well.
These will never see the light of day again.
I walked over to the fireplace and threw them in.
I turned around and saw Koizumi staring at me with that smile of his.
"Say. One. Word."
He then turned around.
Episode 7, Scene 5, Take 1
Kyon is tailing Sasaki and has the camera is front of him.
The boom mic bobs in and out of frame.
"Oi, keep that thing still."
It disappears for a few seconds but then bobs back and forth again.
"Hey, I said-"
He's then hit with the boom. Hard. In the face.
"Why you!"
He then gets off-screen, we hear a few fighting noises.
"Keep rolling."
"But-"
"Keep! Rolling!"
"Yes, sir, Mr. Tanigawa!"
Kyon then walks back onscreen with a black eye and a few missing teeth and straightens out his jacket.
He continues walking.
Episode 9, Scene 7, Take 1
"Now, Kyon. Shoot her."
"Hell yeah! Take this you abusive bitch!"
Kyon fires off a few shots, walks over to her body, then fires a round into her skull.
He wants back, panting.
"So, good enough for ya?"
"Umm...I was joking."
".....Oh. Well, the universe is still here, so.....what does that mean?"
"Who cares, want to get some ice cream?"
"Sure."
"Who else?!"
Pretty much everyone.
"Alright!"
They all leave.
Leaving Yuki, Mikuru, and Koizumi chained to the wall.
"Hey! Wait! I like ice cream!" Koizumi shouts as the lights turn off.
"I'm so going to burn them when they come back."
Episode 11, Scene 5, Take 1
"Anyway, his name is-"
Bird caws. Shotgun fire. The bird's gone, showing Haruhi with her shotgun.
"Damn birds always interrupting my rants. Anyway, his name is-"
Episode 12, Scene 1, Take 1
Haruhi is walking down the street with her loyal servants muttering to herself.
"Damn cut-offs always interrupting my rants."
Scene 2, Take 1
"Well, I guess there's only one thing to do."
Haruhi points at Kyon.
"Kyon! Strip!"
"What?!"
"You heard me!"
"No, Haruhi. There's no way in hell that's happening."
"Koizumi! Yuki! Help me."
"With pleasure." Koizumi says with his rape smile on.
Yuki just slowly walks toward him with a small smile on her face that's just undeniably creepy.
"How will this help in anyway?" Kyon asked.
"Who said anything about that?" Haruhi said.
The camera shuts off and the last thing we hear is Kyon screaming.
(Yes....Haruhi, Koizumi, and Yuki....all rape Kyon...in front of Mikuru......I'm dead inside.)
Episode 19, Scene 5, Take 1
After I finished playing, I did a classic.
Smashing the guitar against the floor over and over again.
In retrospect, that wasn't a very good idea.
But, it'd make a nice story, no?
Actually, my whole life would be a pretty good book.
Hmm.....
Episode 21, Scene 2, Take 24
Kyon was running down the street trying to catch up to Koizumi and Mikuru when he tripped and fell.
Everyone stopped as he got up.
"I'm good!"
He then walked back up the hill muttering something about banana peels and and this being the thirteenth time today this has happened.
(They can't all be elaborate.)
Scene 17, Take 1
"You're not really gonna push me off right?"
"Of course not."
"Okay then."
Yuki nudges Kyon.
"Wow, Nagato, too hard, too hard!"
Kyon then falls over the side.
People run over along with the camera.
"Someone call an ambulance!"
Filming was delayed for a month after that.
(Heh heh.)
End of Omake 2
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Author's Note: I'd say I did very well on this. Except for the whole......yeah. Anywho, the next few chapters will the filming of the movie, so....okay writing that scene (you know which one) made me feel very unclean so I'm going to go scrub my brain til I forget I ever thought of something so very.....horrifying. Ja ne~
