Chapter 21

Too many things happened at once.

Nobody was fast enough to react to Natsu punching Sora's mother, but the aftermath left us scrambling. I screamed once in shock at the suddenness of the move, I could hear Lucy cry out, "Natsu!" in a panic while pulling him back, and Sora was just stunned speechless at the sight of his unconscious mother sprawled on the floor.

"What the hell—!" Sora snapped his head up and glared lividly at Natsu. "What the hell was that for, you bastard?!"

Natsu didn't say anything to defend himself—he'd immediately crumpled to the floor when Lucy had pulled him away. He was curled in on himself and turned away from us, like he was trying to protect himself from a blow that would never come to him.

"Don't hurt me," he was gasping, recoiling even from Lucy's touch. "Don't hurt me, please—I'm sorry—I'll do anything—leave me alone—I—I don't want to—!" He then broke down into muffled sobbing.

In the fervor of the moment, I'd assumed that he was panicking because he'd literally just socked an adult into unconsciousness with one blow without preemptive, but then I saw how pale his skin was and how slick with sweat his skin seemed to be. His eyes were filled with absolute terror, staring into nothing.

I recognized this. This was PTSD's nasty side kicking in—he was having a flashback. This was the moment I realized that the brunt of his trauma probably went far beyond simple child abuse. I didn't want to think how far, but it was unsettling to see someone who I was so used to seeing level-headed break down into a childlike panic like this. How bad had it been for him to still have panic attacks seven whole years after the fact?

Lucy was doing her best to calm him down, but Natsu wasn't really making it easy for her. I could see the pain on her face as plain as day as she gently rubbed his back and spoke to him softly over his plaintive begging and pleading, as if she was trying to comfort a terrified child.

While she was doing this, I checked on Sora. He still looked ungodly furious, but he seemed to realize what was going on with Natsu, too—he bit his lip and didn't say another word. He raised his head to look at me, and I could see that he was thinking the same thing I was—why was this happening? What had triggered this? None of his mother's aggression had been directed at Natsu, after all.

"Sora," Lucy spoke up suddenly, catching our attention. Her attention was still fixed on Natsu. "Listen, I'm sorry about this. I'll take care of things here. You should go find your dad."

I gasped in spite of myself—what did she just say?

Sora sounded just as flustered as I felt as he protested, "Lucy, you can't—!"

"Just listen!" Her voice trembled slightly. "I'm sure you realize this already, but Natsu didn't hurt your mom on purpose. They're both hurt right now, and somebody needs to make sure they're okay." Lucy finally raised her gaze and stared at us pointedly, her eyes red—she'd been crying. "They need help, so I'll call the ambulance and explain everything that happened here. You focus on finding your dad—you have to go talk to him. I'd go with you, but—I can't leave them here without doing anything!"

"But—" Sora glanced back at his mother briefly. "I can't just—"

"Get out of here already…!"

All three of us flinched in surprise at the sound of Natsu's voice. We hadn't expected him to recover quite so quickly. We immediately turned our attention to him, and he was glaring up at the two of us while cradling his right hand. I tried to avoid focusing on it too much, because I was pretty sure fingers were only supposed to have three joints.

"Natsu, don't move so much!" Lucy protested, trying to wave him down, but he ignored her and kept his focus on Sora.

"Dude, I'm sorry," he apologized, breathing heavily. "Really—you can knock me on the head as many times as you want for this later. I know you're worried, but seriously; just—just go! Find your dad!"

"Kairi, you should go with him," Lucy added quickly, making sure Natsu wasn't moving too much. "Keep him focused. Don't worry—I'll handle things here. I promise."

I bit my lip in hesitation. I turned my attention to Sora again, and I could see him looking increasingly frustrated before turning on the spot and storming out the front door without another word.

"Sora; wait a second!" I cried. Without a second thought, I promptly dashed after him, leaving Lucy alone with Natsu and Sora's mother.

It took me forever to catch up.

I caught him at the corner of the fifth block, where he'd made a sudden stop. His back was turned to me as I approached and stopped a couple paces behind him.

I was almost afraid to say anything, but I managed a nervous, "S-Sora…?"

He didn't respond right away. It was about a moment later that I saw him brace himself against a telephone pole, his shoulders slumped in defeat.

"I'm lost," he said despondently.

I blinked, suddenly confused. "Wh-what?"

"I'm lost, Kairi." He still didn't turn around, but I heard his voice crack in his breathlessness as he shook his head and said, "I—I don't know where to go."

"Sora—"

"Is there something wrong with me?" He wiped his eyes with his sleeve and finally turned to face me, his expression devastated and eyes red. "Kairi, do you think I'm crazy?"

I felt so incredibly lost that I had no idea what to think. "Sora, why're you asking me this?" I asked nervously. "Why in the world would I think that you're crazy? Of course I don't—"

"You saw me back there," he insisted, stepping closer to me. "I got mad at Natsu for hurting my mom. Is it crazy that I cared that she got hurt?"

I couldn't believe he was asking this. "No, it's not!" I said sharply. "It's only natural you'd feel that way; she's still your mom! Shouldn't that be obvious? What; did you expect to hate her or something?"

Sora drew in a sharp breath at my words and turned his head away, focusing his gaze on the ground. He didn't say anything for a while.

Then he said, "…Yeah. I did."

I froze. "What?"

"You're right. I did expect to hate her." He bit his lip as he shot me a nervous sideways glance before turning his attention back to the pavement again. "I thought I'd be happy when I saw my mom get hurt, because I've wanted to do it since forever for what she did to Roxas…but I wasn't." His shoulders shook. "I got upset. I even yelled at Natsu. I called him a bastard, even though he was freaking out! I probably would've hit him back if he actually meant it!" He raised a hand to his head and grasped a fistful of his hair as he whispered, "I know this should feel normal, but…it doesn't feel that way to me at all. Doesn't that make me crazy at least a little bit?"

I started. I wasn't sure what to say to him. I hated to admit this, but I couldn't relate to what he was feeling—I could hardly even understand what he was saying, to start. What did he even mean; normal didn't feel normal?

Sora must've sensed my confusion (or it had just been really obvious on my face), because he sighed and lowered his hand, staring at me numbly as he began, "I figured you wouldn't understand me. Let me put it another way, then…"

He then approached me and took hold of my shoulders, his eyes boring into mine.

"Kairi," he continued, "do you think I'm lying to myself right now? Do you think that I actually love my mom?"

For a moment, I didn't do anything else other than stare at him. I didn't know what Sora was seeing on my face right now, but it didn't matter. I just kept staring at him until he started looking confused.

Then I smacked him upside the head.