Hello, everyone! Thank you for tuning in! This chapter was a long time in the making, and originally going to be part of the last. Even with us cutting it to be its own thing, it's still quite long - our longest yet, possibly? Almost a 3-parter! Almost. Enjoy!
The typical loud rip of a dimensional portal opening echoed off the cliffs of an otherwise unremarkable section of the Mewnian underworld. King River's dimensional scissors sliced through thin air as they worked, and a moment later, Marco and Janna stepped through the rift and onto the hellscape.
Janna took a deep breath and exhaled, looking around at the monster hovels, mansions, and chrome-covered sculptures in the distance. "Ah," she said, feeling a surge of wellness and power course into her. "Feels good to be back."
Marco stood behind her a moment later, his head rotating as he glared suspiciously at everything from the ground to the sky. He took a breath too, then coughed at the stench.
"Ugh, sulfur!" He said, holding his nose. "And brimstone! Janna, this place stinks, and it's hot!"
On cue, Janna shed her hoodie and threw it back through the portal immediately.
Making to chuck his own through as well, Marco's hoodie arced through the air before a cloud of imps intercepted. Their cackles filled the air as they began to fly off, the sweater dragging along behind them.
"Hey, give that back!" Marco shouted, running after them.
As they gained distance, Janna shouted, "Stealing imp grounding!"
A few fell out of the sky and kept running.
"Windmill tornado slam!"
A burst of air shot out of her hands and past Marco, throwing him off-balance and his shirt up in front of his face.
"Hey, Janna!" He shouted, pulling his tee back down. "Watch it!"
Chuckling, Janna took aim and cast a third spell. "Magic flytrap swatting attack!"
A flurry of translucent, flailing flyswatters sprang out from her hands and towards the imps, who quickly dropped the hoodie and flew off, grumbling. Elsewhere, Marco had his hands above his head to protect from the assault as he ran to retrieve it. "Janna, seriously! Cut it out! Ow!"
Walking back a minute later, he threw the balled-up hoodie through the portal and gave Janna a rude stare. "Thanks."
A swatter gave him a smack on his butt before disappearing, and Janna was grinning. "You're welcome."
The portal snapped shut behind them, and Janna levitato'd the pair of them off, towards the enormous fortress of the underworld's capitol in the distance.
As they rose into the air and sped off, Janna shouted to her friend over the gusts filling their ears.
"Does this place make you feel more awake?" She asked, arms outstretched.
Marco, for his part, was doing his best not to look at the ground, several hundred feet directly below them. "Uh, no!" He called back. "Just more… terrified! Focus on flying, please!"
Janna grinned evilly as she looked to her front. "You got it!"
She gave the two of them a quick spin through the air as they flew, to Marco's shrieking complaint. Taking them straight up, Janna felt like a one-woman aerial show as they twirled around one another, the dark clouds above them crackling menacingly.
"Woo-hoo!" Janna cried. "I could never go this high on Earth!"
"Janna, seriously!" Marco shouted back. "You're gonna make me siiii-ck!"
He lost control of his voice as Janna flew towards him, spinning him like a top through the sky.
"Oh boy…" Marco murmurred as they stabilized, his face turning green.
Returning them back down to normal height, Janna was wearing a huge grin as Marco continued to fight back the urge to vomit. "I wish there was a way to do this all the time!" She shouted.
"Urg… I don't!" Marco strained. "Look out below!"
Over the sounds of Marco losing his lunch, Glossaryck emerged from Janna's pocket and flew up next to her shoulder, still in his usual cross-legged pose. "Do you want to learn how?" He asked over the wind. "I can teach you!"
"Really?!" Janna asked, so excited at the prospect that she and Marco dipped out of the air for a moment, inducing a fresh round of heaving.
"Of course!" Glossaryck said. "You'll just need a wand!" Then he looked down below them and dipped back down towards Janna's pocket. "Ask me about it later!"
The spires of the underworld's massive capitol fortress were finally below them, and Marco let out a sigh of relief when they floated down. As his feet touched the ground, he bent down and kissed it.
"Land, sweet land!" He cried, before looking back up at Janna. "Never again."
Janna shrugged. "C'mon dude, that was awesome."
In front of them was a massive set of iron gates, with a call-box off to the side.
Marco stood up and pressed the buzzer. A voice answered immediately, demonic and intimidating but somewhat dulled over a crackly, sub-par connection. "Can I help you?"
"Yes, uh, we're here to see Tom?" Marco asked, wiping his mouth. "It's about a mutual friend."
The box was silent for a moment before responding. "Sorry, the Prince of Darkness isn't seeing any visitors today," it replied, "please come back next week."
Marco bit his tongue and tried to quickly think of a response before Janna walked in front of him.
"What he meant to say is we're, uh, the Arcade Cabinet Repair Crew." She ad-libbed. "The mutual friend is, um, the cabinet."
The silence stretched on for a lot longer this time, before the voice came back again. "Seriously?" It asked.
"Ah-yup, for sure!" Marco said, putting a false positivity in his voice. "Got the call earlier today, apparently, um, one of the cabinets stopped working… after Tom…" He looked to Janna for help, who shrugged.
"Lit it on fire?" She interjected.
"Right, right, lit it on fire!" Marco finished the lie. "So we're just here to see if we can get it working again, you know the drill."
The voice on the other end of the line sighed, before saying "Yeah, that sounds like him. Alright, come on in. Just make it fast."
The gates before them swung open, and the two headed inside. "Well, that was easy," Marco quipped.
Heading inside, the grand entryway to the castle had the same smattering of underworld elites as it had the last time Janna had visited. Pointing to a side corridor, they set off into the bowels of the fortress.
"Uh, this way, I think." Janna said as they made another turn. Marco followed.
"You think?" Marco asked. "Isn't there like, a map of this place?"
"You wouldn't make a map of your house…" Janna pointed out, resisting the urge to correct herself - that sounded exactly like something Marco would do.
"Oh contraire," Marco said smugly. "I made one in the fourth grade! For geography class."
Janna rolled her eyes.
"And anyway," Marco continued, sidestepping a group of flame elementals as they flew past in a wave of heat. "My house isn't the size of a town!" He gestured around into the seemingly infinite number of side corridors, hallways and rooms.
Janna shrugged. "We'll find it eventually."
"Will we, Janna?" Marco asked. "Will we?"
Biting back a retort, Janna stopped to look around as they stepped into a smaller chamber that she definitely hadn't been in before. Intricate designs of stars and planets lined the walls and roof, and the floor was covered in an enormous stone etching of a cleaved star surrounded by the faces of monsters.
Across the room, a stage had been set up to hold an oversized podium, and a small army of folding chairs was deployed to face it. A crowd of demons was milling about in the chairs, and standing at the podium was none other than…
"Ahem!" Ishkilthul the knowledge demon cleared his throat with a rumble, and the various demons, elementals and other creatures in front of him took their seats.
"Thank you for joining me today!" Ishkilthul began, straightening a tie. He'd forgone the trilby hat today, with the curly smattering of hair on top of his head instead greased and combed to the side. Behind him, a projector screen lit up with the words: "The Underworld, Anger Management, And You: A Guide To Control And Reform."
Paying the imminent presentation very little mind, Janna called out past the group of monsters: "Hey, Ishkilthul!"
All the eyes in the room turned to them, some of them literally smouldering with an ancient rage. Marco quickly slunk away to a seat in the back, while Janna walked towards the crowd, seemingly oblivious.
Ishkilthul sighed, a deep, rumbling noise that was underlined by the scream of some tortured soul. "Oh, hi Janna. Can this wait?"
"I just need directions to Tom's room!" She shouted, the room still far too large to allow for anything less.
Ishkilthul glared at her. "Well, as you can see I'm in the middle of something. Wait until after the presentation."
"But -"
"WAIT!"Ishkilthul bellowed, causing the monsters in front of him to flinch and shrink back into their seats.
Even Janna covered her ears, before looking up at him ruefully. "Fine. Moody…"
Walking to the back, she joined Marco as he tried his best not to be noticed, sitting as far from the monstrous crowd as possible. On the podium, Ishkilthul cleared his throat again. "My apologies to you all. That's a perfect example of the exact behavior that this seminar is trying to address. Please say you forgive me."
"We forgive you." The monotone resonance of the response from the room indicated that this had not been the first time Ishkilthul had drilled these ideas into your heads.
"Thank you. Now then, the reason for this seminar…"
As Ishkilthul began his presentation, Janna tuned out immediately, as most of the monsters presumably did as well. Marco was still shrunk into his seat, desperately trying to melt through the floor.
Casting a line for something to do while they waited, Janna reached into her pocket and extracted her phone. Glossaryck set aside the book he'd been reading and looked up. "Oh, great, that guy." He shook his head as his eyes landed on Ishkilthul. "What a jackass."
A nearby monster snickered, though Ishkilthul was presumably too far away to notice the disturbance.
"What can I do for you, m'lady?" Glossaryck asked, standing and curtsying with his robe. Marco snickered. Janna was not a "m'lady" no matter how many times Glossaryck made the mistake.
"Where do you get a wand?" Janna asked.
"Ah!" Glossaryck perked up, and rubbed his hands together. "An excellent question. You can't."
"I can't?" Janna asked.
"Mmm, no." Glossaryck swam through the air before flipping onto his back and summoning a nail file from nothing. "Wands were made in a different era," he said, putting it to use. "Magic was a lot stronger back then." He glanced at Janna. "A lot stronger," he emphasized.
"The Butterfly wand has been in the family for hundreds of years. There are a few others that are around, but they're mostly used by royal families. So unless you want to go back in time to find Earth's - "
"Ahem!" Ishkilthul cleared his throat for a third time, and Janna looked up to see that he was staring at her from the podium expectantly. Glossaryck quickly disappeared back into her phone.
"Sorry," Janna said, depositing her phone in her pocket. "It's just that the presentation was so interesting."
"You need to leave." Ishkilthul stated.
It was nearly an hour before the seminar ended, a trove of monsters running through the various exits in a fashion not dissimilar to the students of Echo Creek academy on a Friday afternoon.
Janna marched Marco back into the room shortly thereafter, to find the podium and chairs were seemingly turning to smoke and disappearing under Ishkilthul's supervision.
"What?" He asked as they approached, barely looking over his shoulder.
"Directions to Tom's room?" Janna asked.
"Seriously, that's all?" Ishkilthul glanced at her in disdain. "Second door on the left." He pointed down the opposite hall from where they were standing.
In hindsight, the directions proved to be utterly unnecessary, as the enormous doors carved into the wall and adorned with the sign "Prince Tom's Room" written in red were a dead giveaway.
"So who is this guy?" Marco asked as Janna made to knock.
"Demon prince of the underworld." Janna said. "And he's kind of a jerk, so keep quiet."
Janna did him the courtesy of knocking once before pushing the doors open. "Hey, Tom, you in here?" She called, stepping inside.
Marco followed her immediately. "Janna, don't do that!" He chastised. "For all we know he could be -"
"Who dares to enter my chambers unannounced?" A teenager's demonic voice rang out along the walls as flames sprung up from the floor, hemming the two inside the room while the door slammed shut behind them.
Marco yelped and looked around frantically while Janna stepped forward. "Uh, Janna and Marco!" She called. "King River sent us to look for Star!"
The flames died down somewhat, and Tom floated down from the ceiling, three eyes glowing red while the crackling light cast shadows on his pale skin.
"Well don't just barge in!" He said, still obviously peeved as the demonic rage faded from his voice. "You didn't even know I was in here!"
Marco looked at Tom, then back at Janna. "Hah!" He shouted. "Told you!"
Tom looked at him as his feet touched the floor. "And you are?" He asked.
"Uh… Marco? Marco Diaz." Marco said, obviously still intimidated.
"Your title?" Tom asked.
"Uhhh, title?"
"Yeah, y'know. Like "Prince of Darkness."
"Safe Kid." Janna interjected, and Marco shot her a glare while Tom chuckled.
"Seriously? That's like, the worst title."
"Anyways," Marco crossed his arms, annoyed. "King River sent us to find Star? He said you could help us look."
"Again?" Tom said, annoyed. "What is it with that guy? I mean, I get that it's his daughter, but come on!"
"And you don't care at all?" Marco asked. "According to him, she's your ex."
"No!" Tom hesitated for a moment. "We broke up. If she wants to go die in a fiery explosion without me, that's her business."
Crossing his arms, he turned away to sulk.
Janna wandered into the room while Marco stood to the side, unsure of what to say. She ran a finger along one of the arcade cabinets in a corner, looking about at the various other methods of entertainment before Tom sighed.
"Alright, look." He explained. "I've already helped the old man look for Star. Twice! So if I help you guys look, will you get him to leave me alone? I - I don't like to think about it."
Janna looked over at Marco, who shrugged. "Deal," she said. "Where do we start?"
Unsticking his shirt from his armpits (again), Marco followed his two companions through a very similar-looking jungle to the one he'd been in only a couple months ago. So similar, in fact, that he was continually looking up and checking the leafy canopy for birds.
Somehow, he decided, the heat of a literal hellscape was still preferable to ninety or so degrees in high humidity. He pulled up the hem of his shirt to wipe the sweat from his brow, only to find that it was already soaked.
"Man, it's the middle of winter!" He complained, pushing a few bushy leaves away from his face. Janna and Tom were just in front of him, the former similar disgruntled while the latter was seemingly unaffected.
Tom looked back from where he'd been burning a path for them. The jet of flames in his hands subsided somewhat as he did. "I know right? He quipped. "Lucky we're not here on a hot day!"
Looking back in front of himself, the jets from his hands subsided and he bent down to examine the ground. A small clearing had opened up in front of them, utterly unremarkable in every way, but Tom showed signs of recognizing it.
"I know where we are, finally!" He said a moment later. "Just another hour's hike, tops." He breathed in and exhaled noisily. "Ahh, smell that fresh air!"
With a groan, Marco fell to the ground and closed his eyes. Janna used her scissors to open a portal and step through.
"Why can't you just portal us there, again?" Marco asked from the dust.
"No reason!" Tom said quickly. "It's just, uh, my cousin doesn't like me very much." As if that answered the question entirely, he pointed to Marco. "Scorpion on your shirt."
Marco opened his eyes and jumped up with a shuddering squeal as he brushed it off into the bushes. Tom chuckled again.
Returning through the portal, Janna handed Marco a water bottle before cracking another for herself. "So," she asked between pulls. "Where are we going again?"
"To.. a place," Tom evaded.
"Wow, helpful," Marco dryly returned, taking a drink from his bottle.
"Spider on your back!" Tom replied.
Marco turned in a circle, craning his neck to try and see it. Sure enough, a spider the size of his hand was slowly ascending the back of his shirt.
"Aagh!" He let out a much higher pitched scream before falling back into the dirt with a scramble. "Why do things keep attaching themselves to me?!"
Janna gave a snort of amusement and Tom joined her, earning an approving smirk.
Marco stood up again and looked between them, irate.
"You done?" Tom asked. "Only an hour or two to go!" With that, he turned away and walked into the brush.
"Hey, uh, you got a little…" Janna gestured to Marco's dust covered face, and he glared at her before grabbing her water bottle and drinking the rest of its contents.
"I hate it here," he said flatly before disappearing after Tom. Janna's smirk only widened as she followed.
As they walked, Janna quickly learned that she was much more interested in Tom than he was in her.
Demon prince of the underworld with fire powers? Sold! Also happened to be super-hot? Bonus points.
But no matter how many times she tried to strike up a conversation with him, it wouldn't happen.
"So, you like… music?" She tried again. She was not about to let the hot demon teenager get away from her without at least trying.
"I guess."
…
Janna let the silence stretch for a moment. "Metal?" She asked awkwardly.
"Classic rock."
"Ah."
…
The silence stretched on, the trio's shoes scuffing the narrow path, creating the only sound in range.
Deciding to try a different approach, Janna pulled out a spellbook and began scrolling through. Wishing for a cool breeze, the words were on her lips when suddenly, Marco shouted behind her.
"The forest is mocking me!"
Turning around, she found that her friend was a little bit… disheveled. His eyes were wide and wild, and flicked about at everything.
"It's that tree!" He shouted, pointing to a knotted trunk. "And those vines, and that bush, and -"
Before he could elaborate further, Tom stepped over and slapped him across the face.
"Jungle fever." He explained to Janna. "Happens to the weak-minded."
Without a word, Marco turned and took off in a full sprint in the opposite direction.
Janna looked after him in mild perplexion, while Tom just shrugged. "Well, he's dead," he turned away and kept walking.
"Marco, come back here!" Janna finally found her voice, to no response.
"Something's coming," Tom suddenly warned. "We need to get off the path."
Ignoring him, Janna turned and squinted in the other direction, where sure enough, a small dust cloud was rising. "No way…" She muttered.
Marco ran back towards them, still at full tilt, from the exact opposite direction that he'd been going previously.
Stopping in front of them and gasping for breath, he looked up at Tom. "It's - hot -" he panted, "and you've been leading us - in - circles!"
Pointing at Tom, he fell on his back with a gasp and Janna leaned over him while he groaned in defeat.
A burst of inspiration struck and she went for the spellbook. Meanwhile, Tom looked down the path in both directions, confused. "In circles…" he muttered. "That's not right…"
He took a few steps forward and stopped before crouching down and examining the ground.
"Hyrdo-oralysis, pepto!" Janna called. A gout of water suddenly appeared above them both, splashing down with a crash. Marco sputtered and gasped as he got up from the ground, his clothes soaked and the back of his shirt now covered in mud. He glared at Janna, hardly needing a reprimand.
She was similarly soaked. "Sorry," she admitted as the water trickled through her hair. "I thought it'd help."
She scrolled through the book for a drying spell. Unable to find one, she shrugged. "Drying-gust -"
"Quiet!" Tom shouted from a few feet ahead.
Janna closed her mouth and stared at him. "Rude."
"This is…" Tom muttered, before jumping up. "Off the path, now!"
The ground rumbled beneath their feet as the three dove to the sides of the pathway. And just in the nick of time - as if the entire world had come alive, the dirt gave way to an enormous creature, which rose into the sky above them. Several stories tall, it looked like a giant earthworm - if earthworms were dark green and covered in spines.
"Trailworm!" Tom called. "Run!"
"Run?" Marco shouted from the other side of what had been their path. "How do we run from that!"
The creature roared before plunging down, burying its face into the trees as Janna was thrown to the side. It slithered down into the ground with a rumble, leaving an eerie silence in its wake.
Jumping down into the trench that the worm had created, Tom took the lead. "This way!" He shouted. "It'll be back!"
Then, they ran. Whatever magic the worm had been using on their path had dissipated - the trench it carved continued for a few hundred feet, before sloping up and turning back into the path.
Marco clambered up first, while Tom and Janna levitated themselves behind him. The ground shook again, and the three looked down apprehensively, stopping in their tracks.
"Nobody move." Tom warned. "It can't see anything. It'll detect us by our feet."
"So we've just gotta stand - oh gohAAAAAAAAAGH!"
The ground shattered beneath their feet, and Janna and Tom were thrown back as Marco suddenly found himself several stories in the air - hundreds of gnashing worm-teeth directly below him.
The creature bellowed as it reared up above the canopy, shaking its head as Marco clung desperately to it. Before he could even process what was going on, he was falling.
"LEVITATO!"
Janna's voice bounced out of the forest below him and he found himself suspended a hundred feet below ground - no longer falling, instead, sinking.
He turned around when the worm roared again, and saw it looking down at the ground. Janna and Tom were tiny at his height - but it was obvious that the monster didn't appreciate them taking its dinner.
"Hraaah!" Tom rushed forward and put his hands to the monster's underside. A wall of flames sprang up from the ground, searing its way up the creature's body. It screeched and recoiled, flailing through the trees as it tried to get away, before disappearing back below ground.
In moments, Marco was back down on the ground, Janna looking slightly more strained than she had a moment ago, but otherwise no worse for wear.
"Shouldn't we portal out of here?" She asked, grabbing her scissors and making to do just that.
"No!" Tom shouted. "We're close! It's just a worm!"
The ground rumbled again as 'just the worm' burrowed its way towards them for a third attack.
"Here it comes!" Janna warned.
"Obviously," Tom retorted. Fire balled in his hands as he readied himself.
The worm reared out of the ground again, but this time the three heard another cry amidst its roar. A shout of defiance as a teal blur streaked out of the trees and up into its head.
"HAH!" A female shout, and the worm screamed in pain before tumbling to the ground on its side. A wide swath of forest collapsed beneath its weight as it fell, and then it slowly slid back into the tunnel it came from.
Tom still had fire in his hands, with all three of the teenagers staring at the corpse, stunned. Finally, Marco broke the silence. "Uh, what was that?"
"Who was that, you mean." A voice corrected him.
"Right," Marco said. "Who was that?"
"It was me."
Marco jumped as he realized that he didn't recognize the voice, turning to face the new arrival. A literal bush of teal-colored hair complimented a striped shirt, and the girl was holding an enormous greatsword.
"Oh," Tom finally put down his hands. "Hey Kelly."
"Kelly?" Janna asked. "Who's Kelly?"
"I'm Kelly," said Kelly, shifting her greatsword and holding out a hand. "Pleasure to meet you."
Janna shook her hand and Marco looked around, still in full battle mode. "So the worm's dead?" he asked. "And who are you?"
"Yep." Tom gave Kelly a small smile which she returned with a light hug. "She was a friend of Star's."
"Speaking of Star," Kelly interjected, "is that why you're here?"
Tom nodded, and a note of concern touched his voice. "You haven't… heard anything, have you?"
Kelly sighed and leaned on her sword, which was now stuck in the ground. "No. Not since…" The sentence lingered into silence.
"Not since…" Marco prodded, and Kelly bit her lip.
Tom shot him a glare. "Not now, man," and Marco gave him an annoyed look in return.
"I was looking for her at the grotto," Kelly shifted tracks quickly. "Got distracted by the worm. And, uh, you know the rest."
"Find anything?" Tom asked.
"Nah."
As the two caught up, Marco scooted over to Janna. "Think the worm's dead?" He whispered to her and she shrugged.
"Well, lots of ground to cover. So, I'm thinking we split up." Tom said to the group. "so two of us take my spots, and two of us take Kelly's."
Janna perked up at this immediately. "I'm going with Tom!" She said suddenly.
Tom rolled his eyes. "Fine. I'll go with Witchy Business, Kelly, you take the Safe Kid."
"Safe Kid?" Kelly chuckled while looking at Marco, who mumbled something unintelligible in his defence.
"Meet back at my place in a few hours. Sounds good?"
Kelly nodded and withdrew a pair of scissors from her hair - long, curved and a turquoise-green. She tore open a portal and grabbed Marco's arm. "Come on, Safe Kid."
"Uh, my name's Marco," he said before disappearing behind her.
Tom's smile dropped from his face and he kept walking, Janna behind him.
The forest, now once again buzzing with life in the wake of the giant worm, seemed especially loud with only two steps of feet on the path. Janna cast a glance around and tried to catch up with Tom, only to find that he was keeping himself just a few steps in front of her.
"So what's up with Kelly?" She asked. "Why didn't King River tell us to talk with her when we were looking for leads?
"Do your parents keep up with your social life?"
"...Thats fair. Where are we going next?"
"I told you," Tom dodged again. "It's… a place."
"A place where Star might be." Janna added.
"Yep." Tom said. "Please stop talking?"
"So is it like, a cave, or…?" Janna ignored him.
"Drop it." Tom said again.
"Oh! Is it some kind of dungeon?"
"Drop. It."
"And what made Star so special, anyways?"
"I. Said. DROP IT!" Tom roared, jets of flame shooting from the ground beneath him. Noticing small flames kick up around the two, he quickly put them out and stomped ahead.
Janna took a step back out of reflex, shrugged, and kept following.
"Sorry." He said, a moment later. He didn't sound sorry. "I don't like talking about it."
After another few minutes of silent walking, the path began to slope up a hill, then a mountain. Janna levitated herself into the air and made sure to keep her distance, this time, as Tom trudged forward.
Turning an especially sharp corner, Janna looked around in confusion. Tom had seemingly vanished, and so had their path. A grey cliff face stretched up in its place, and Janna made to hover up it when she heard Tom's voice from below her, instead.
"Down here!" He called, and Janna looked between her feet to find that she'd been floating over a manhole-sized cave, without so much as a guard rail or piece of caution tape to indicate it. Had she not been floating, she would've fallen right in!
Shrugging this thought off, Janna allowed herself to float down.
The tunnel quickly opened up into a larger cave, the landscape below her illuminated by a dozen other holes like the one she'd just entered through. The speckled lights revealed a shadowy floor that spanned dozens of meters.
Landing softly, Janna spotted partner again, but bit her tongue rather than risk annoying him again. As she watched, he put his hand to a seemingly ordinary-looking stone, which sparked to life in a warm clow as others around them did the same. As her eyes adjusted to the sudden light, Janna took in the sights.
The cave's walls were coated in faded, greying colors that still glittered in the light. Drawings of rainbows spanned entire directions, and there were clouds and smiling suns the size of her mom's beat-up car. Even as faded as they were, they still twinkled faintly in the light.
Turning her attention back towards the center of the room, Janna took a step and her foot crunched into something. Bending down, she found that she was surrounded by the ashen husks of dead vegetation, some of it sporting the same once-vibrant color schemes as the walls. Tracks in the floor indicated that there'd once been running water, and in the center of the room, an enormous, bright-pink inflatable castle slumped against itself. It was covered in mud, and the towers and walls were all partially deflated.
Tom walked towards this structure, Janna following as she took careful steps around the debris on the floor. As she walked, there were more relics of adventures past. An entire forest of dog collars and leashes was sitting tangled in one indent, as if a horde of puppies had lived there. Elsewhere, there were sticky tracks of pastel paints splashed across surfaces, old balls of decaying sweets, broken swords, dented armor, and the soot-covered remains of long-forgotten fire pits.
Tom had disappeared inside the main gate of the castle. Once ten feet tall, Janna could now reach up and flick at the fake, inflated bars of the main gate from where it hung above her.
Inside, the ground was covered in more adolescent junk. A dance floor shimmered and flickered dimly in one corner. Moldy beanbags and other decrepit furniture covered entire areas, along with a snack bar, vending machines, a popcorn maker, and even a few arcade cabinets to put Tom's to shame.
Tom himself had stopped at the opposite wall and quickly walked off as Janna approached, revealing a dusty cabinet full of pictures and souvenirs. A trio of shirts with a logo for some kind of hot dog company sat in one corner, along with a grand-prize trophy for a fighting arena, and framed photographs of two people Janna already knew - and one she didn't.
Kelly and Tom were easily recognizable in most of them, in settings that ranged from dance floors to carnivals, from battlefields to restaurants.
In all of the pictures, Janna noticed there was a third girl as well - long, blonde hair was kept in check by a red headband with tiny horns, and swept back behind some painfully-colorful dresses, with an enormous smile and heart-shaped cheek marks.
Stepping away, Janna reached down and picked up another photo that had fallen out of the cabinet, this one seemingly older than the rest. Tom was kneeling in front of Star, presenting the headband she was wearing in the other photos as if he were presenting a crown, while she laughed.
Taking a look around, she saw that Tom had sat himself in one of the less-destroyed beanbag chairs across the room. Holding the photograph, she approached.
"So, this is Star?" She asked as she approached. Tom looked up to see her presenting the picture frame, which he took in his hands and examined glumly. "Please don't explode again." She added quickly.
"Yeah." Tom said sadly, running a thumb over the frame. "Princess of Mewni. Kelly showed us this cave, and Star made it her own. We'd come here when we had stuff we didn't want to deal with. Royals, and all."
Janna gingerly sat down in another beanbag, immediately thinking the better of it as cold rot touched her skirt. "So you guys were, uh, friends?"
Tom snorted. "We dated for awhile. But she outgrew me."
They sat in silence for another few moments, Tom staring at the picture, lost in thought.
Finally, taking the photo out of the frame, he folded it up and tucked it into a pocket before standing up. "Come on," He said, shaken out of his reverie. "I don't like it here. And there's another stop to make."
"Nice to meet you, Marco." Kelly said, as they stepped out of the portal and into a wall of noise.
"WHAT?" Marco shouted back.
In front of them was a club of some kind, the wood bearings and stonework still a far cry from Earth's, but the thumping music and crowds of shouting people left little to the imagination. Out front, a burly-looking doorman was leaning against the frame reading a newspaper. Kelly was walking towards him before Marco could even say anything.
"Uh, where are we?" He shouted again, and it was more difficult to hear his own voice, this time. Kelly looked back and mouthed something, but he couldn't tell what she said.
The doorman looked up as she approached and nodded to her, a fairly impressive feat seeing as he didn't seem to have much of a neck. He raised an eyebrow at Marco and they eyeballed each other, but Kelly took hold of his hoodie's sleeve and pulled him past.
Inside, the noise was just as impossibly intolerable. Aside from some magically-enhanced music emanating from a set of unplayed instruments in the corner, dozens of both humans and monsters were wandering around with drinks in their hands, bumping into one another, dancing, shouting, screaming, fighting, and generally only adding to the noise level. Marco felt like his ears were about to bleed.
Fortunately, it didn't last long, as Kelly pushed their way through to the bar, waved at the bartender (an enormous, extremely disgruntled purple squid) and pulled Marco into a closet behind it.
At least here, the music had died back down to a thump, though in the cramped, dark confines of a broom cupboard, Marco wasn't sure how they were supposed to find anything.
"Uh, Kelly?" He asked to the darkness.
Kelly, by the sounds of things, was rummaging around through the supplies in the closet, and a broom handle tumbled to the side before smacking Marco in the chest.
"Yah?" She returned.
"Why are we in a broom closet?"
"Because - ah, here it is!"
There was a grinding of wood on metal and a loud click, and the back of the closet suddenly slid open, revealing a long, torch-lit wooden passageway behind it.
"C'mon, let's go!" Kelly eagerly grabbed Marco by the hoodie again, pulling him along behind her.
As they walked, the music and sounds of partying faded, replaced by new shouting and a different kind of noise. Shouts, grunts, groans, and the crack of fists against flesh.
The tunnel opened up to the rambunctious display of a crowd surrounding a ramshackle cage fighting ring. The fences were dented, there were no chairs to be seen, and the mat looked less like a mat and more like a threadbare old rug put over a splintery wood platform. But judging from its occupants, there wasn't much to be guessed at.
A bulky, red-skinned minotaur and an enormous, overbuffed bipedal zebra were going at it as the crowd of onlookers cheered and screamed, punching, kicking and pounding on each other as they fought for dominance. Marco watched as the minotaur brought the zebra to the ground and jumped, landing his butt square on the zebra's chin with a deep shout that echoed throughout the arena. "BUTTSLAM!"
The zebra was dazed, and the crowd cheered and booed as an announcer declared the minotaur the winner. Kelly tugged at Marco's hoodie again and pointed towards a ticket booth in the back. "Over there."
A line at the booth quickly formed, angry and excited patrons brandishing wads of cash and fistfuls of coins, shouting about bets and wins. The counter attendant, a thoroughly unexcited looking goblin in a referee's shirt, brightened a bit as he saw Kelly's hair. The crowd itself parted as she approached, the frantic shouting immediately quieting down to a dark murmur.
"Kelly!" The goblin exclaimed brightly. "The ring's missed you! Are you and your friend here to take on the champs for old time's sake?"
Marco was returning the glares and stares of the crowd around them in kind, and gave Kelly a glance as he heard this.
"Not today, Charles," Kelly replied. Bending towards him, she lowered her voice. "We're looking for someone, actually," she continued. "Have you seen Star, lately?"
Charles scratched his head and shrugged. "Not since the last time you two were here. Oh, speaking of which…"
Charles pointed and Kelly found herself in a hulking shadow, turning to see that the enormous minotaur was standing just a bit too close to comfort, glaring down at her while Marco peered around from behind his abs.
"Where's blondie?" The creature rumbled. "We've still got a score to settle from last time."
"Haven't talked to her in awhile," Kelly replied, sticking her chin up to act tough. "Looking for her, as a matter of fact. You seen her?"
"Maybe I haven't, maybe I have. How about we go a few rounds and you can try to make me tell you." The minotaur cracked his knuckles and took another step forward, his head-sized hoof landing only an inch from Kelly's foot. She didn't flinch.
Kelly caught Marco's eye and pointed up at her soon-to-be opponent. "You mind?" She asked.
Marco shrugged. "As long as I'm not fighting him."
Kelly turned back to the minotaur. "You're on." She said. The crowd around her cheered in excitement.
A few minutes later, Kelly had her hair back in a ponytail and the minotaur and zebra were glaring at her from their side of the ring.
"So, what's with you and the big guy?" Marco asked as he helped wrap Kelly's hands.
Kelly returned the monster's glare for a moment before looking away. "Oh, we stole their tag-team trophy awhile back."
"So they're sore losers?" Marco pressed.
Kelly chuckled. "Nah, they cheated and won. We stole the trophy after the fight."
Before Marco could ask how one would "cheat" in a steel-cage arena, Charles came over the loudspeaker and the crowd's volume swelled as he announced the fight.
"Ladies and gentlemonsters!" The sound system blared. "In the far corner, from East Mewni's forests, Hoofmouth and the Striped Stallion!"
The crowd cheered and booed as the two stood up and flexed, evil grins revealing mouths that had probably never spoken the word 'dentist.'
"And in the other corner, hailing from parts unknown, Kelly the Conqueror, and Marco 'Safe Kid' Diaz!"
Kelly stood up and stepped into the ring, to a similar response as previously, but Marco pulled her back down. "I literally said 'as long as I'm not fighting them!'" He shouted over the noise.
Kelly shrugged. "Sorry! It's tag-team and I needed a partner!" She called back. "Just watch, it'll be over soon!"
Kelly and the Minotaur took their places on the other side of the ring, and the crowd called out: "TWO MONSTERS ENTER, ONE MONSTER LEAVES!"
Then a bell dinged, and Marco heard Charles' voice over the ruckus. "Fight!"
The minotaur charged forward with a roar, arms outstretched, and Kelly ducked between his legs before jumping up. Turning, she launched herself into his back, tackling him into the side of the cage.
There was cheering as the Minotaur shook her off. Seemingly unaffected, he pushed himself away from the wall before turning and slamming his fist towards her. Rather than dodge, she took the blow, to an "oooh!" from the crowd. To everyone's surprise, though, she held on as he retracted his fist and, as he swung it up to throw her off, planted a kick into his chin.
He staggered and snorted, and Kelly landed, rubbing her stomach gingerly before striking up a boxer's stance.
Minutes passed this way, the two trading blows, Kelly mostly dodging and landing light strikes while the Minotaur lumbered around and tried to knock her down.
Before long, both fighters were winded, Kelly wincing as she rotated her shoulder, having taken a few more heavy punches in quick succession. Her opponent was faring little better, a slew of light hits having finally taken their toll.
The crowd roared as he charged, and Kelly dodged before wrapping herself around his torso, about to bring him to the ground, when…
"Freaking cheaters!" She shouted as she was picked up by the zebra like a rag-doll, and thrown against the opposite wall. The fresh fighter was on her a moment later, lumbering forward in much the same way as his partner and grabbing her by the ankle as she scrambled away.
"No rules in the underground!" He roared, to the crowd's approval.
"That being the case…" Marco shook his head and muttered to himself. He'd been watching the fight, impressed at Kelly's fighting style but underwhelmed at her opponents. Standing up, he took to the ring for the first time, catching the zebra's amused attention.
Kelly kicked and punched fruitlessly against his frame. She was dangling upside down from where he held her ankle. "Oh ho ho!" He shouted, "'Safe Kid' wants to have a go!"
"I've beaten guys way bigger than you!" Marco called back.
" What do you think Hoofmouth, should we go easy on him?" The zebra called.
"Not likely." The minotaur's voice came from behind Marco, and he turned to find a pair of outstretched hands looking for his head. Marco reacted in a flash. Jumping up, he grabbed the bull by the horns, using his weight to pull the monster's face down to the mat with a loud bang.
The crowd went silent for a moment before going nuts, roaring their approval. The minotaur got up after a moment, dazed, and Marco took action again. Stepping up, he climbed onto the creature's oversized shoulders and grabbed him by the horns once again, throwing his legs out above him and pressing himself into the side of the cage.
"Stay - down!" He shouted, using all his strength to propel his opponent back into the floor, where he gave a mighty groan and then relaxed, unconscious.
The zebra's jaw dropped open, promptly smacked shut by a kick from Kelly's free leg. "I didn't know you could actually fight!" She shouted.
The zebra dropped her and backed into the corner as Marco advanced on him, Kelly close behind.
"Woah, woah, we can talk about this, fellas!" He said as he felt his back press against the fence. "You wanted to know where your friend was, right? Hoofmouth was just - he was just bluffing to get you into the ring! We haven't seen her, honest!"
Marco lunged forward with a kick and he countered, swinging wide as he tried to land a blow. Before he could, though, Kelly had intercepted, throwing his punch to the side as Marco knocked him back against the cage, and then down onto his knees.
"All we know, honest! I swear!" The zebra shouted as Marco and Kelly stood above him.
Marco shrugged. "Okay, thanks!"
Kelly planted her foot on the top of his head, knocking him out onto the mat like his partner. "That's for cheating."
The crowd roared as they left, and Marco shook his head, muttering about a waste of time when Kelly withdrew her scissors and cut another portal, gesturing him through.
Janna and Tom emerged from the caves along a long, winding path, miles away from where they'd entered. With both of them being able to fly, it'd been a cinch to move through the underground. Now that they were on the surface, though, Janna was beginning to wish she still had her hoodie.
Tom landed as soon as they emerged from the enormous set of tunnels, Janna following suit and shivering. The air from the caves had been cold, and the swamp in front of them wasn't much better - aside from stinking like a barnyard, the mist hovering over it stuck to her skin and it felt like she'd just stepped into a refrigerator.
"Seriously? Can the weather just make up its mind?" Janna asked, annoyed. Tom snapped his fingers to produce a small flame and shrugged.
"This swamp drains magic," he warned. "Something about some Mewmans who died here or something. So we're on foot for awhile."
Janna looked at the muddy green sludge at her feet, and tapped at it with her shoe - it had the rough consistency of jelly, and seemed to be about as sticky. "Great," she said. "Can't we just go around?"
"Nope, swamp's too big!" Tom was already 20 feet ahead of her, hopping between patches of land like a frog as the mist quickly obscured him. "Come with me, and don't get lost!" He called back.
Janna tapped at the sludge again before rolling her eyes in irritation, looking at the cave behind her, and bending down to take off her shoes. Opening a small portal with the scissors, she tossed them in with her phone, jumping her hand back as it snapped shut almost immediately.
"Right. Anti-magic," she reminded herself. Making to jump after Tom, she missed and found herself foot-deep in the swamp, immediately.
"Oh, and don't fall in!" Janna heard Tom's faint voice through the mist, as he'd long-since disappeared. "Stuff lives in the mud!"
"Great." Janna shook her foot off, stepped back up onto the island, and kept hopping.
Contrary to Tom's advice, Janna got lost almost immediately. He'd disappeared pretty much instantly, and she hadn't even been able to shout for him through the mist.
The fog itself was soupy and dense, carpeting the ground in a cold blanket. Combined with the periodic splashes into the mud that now covered her lower legs, Janna was cold, irritated, lost, and pretty much fed-up with her entire situation.
"Tom!" She shouted into the mist again as she hopped along. Near as she could tell, the best thing to do would be to keep moving in the direction she'd seen him disappear towards, but the swamp was making it hard. Aside from barely being able to see, the tiny islands of land were getting further and further apart.
As soon as the thought crossed her mind, she came to a "dead end." The next spurt of dry land was 15 feet away, a field of mud and swamp plants between her and her destination.
This stopped her for only a moment. Shrugging, she stepped down into the water and immediately sank up to her knees, shivering as she felt the slime creep up her legs.
"Tom!" She called again. "Seriously, if you're going to tell me to follow you, wait for me!"
To her somewhat surprise, she heard his voice from what sounded like miles away. "Janna!" He called. "Come find me!"
"Finally!" Janna said to no one in particular, relieved. She began to wade towards the sound, the plants around her getting thinner and thinner, and the mud getting deeper and deeper, no more dry land in sight.
Soon the swamp was above her knees, and she winced as it touched the hem of her skirt. Once again, she questioned the practicality of such a thing - before slipping and falling into the soup up to her shoulders.
Swimming now, she kept moving.
She strained her eyes to see through the curtain of white fog around her, to no effect. "T-T-Tom, wh-where are you?" She called. The mud was seriously cold.
"Janna!" Janna splashed as she was startled, before spitting out a bit of the mud as a result. The voice sounded like it'd come from ten feet away from her - but it also hadn't been Tom's. It sounded like…
"Marco?" She asked hesitantly into the fog. "What are you doing here?"
"Janna, this way!" She heard him again, this time distinctly to her right, and she swam towards him before finding a tiny cluster of rocks to climb back up onto.
Now on her island, she scraped some of the mud off of her arms, and looked around to find absolutely nothing but more mist in all directions.
"Marco?" She called again.
"Over here, Janna!" He called through the fog again, and she squinted to see that there was definitely something moving in the mist. Something.
She stepped back into the mud before stopping herself. Marco wouldn't be here. Taking a step back, she heard an ethereal shriek.
Tom, despite being the "guide," was faring little better. He'd managed to stay above the mud-level, at least, but he was pretty sure he'd passed that stump three times, now.
"Gah!" Shouting, he stretched out his hand, expecting a fireball to explode out and engulf the stump. Instead, a tiny stream of flame appeared, hardly reaching a foot before dissipating.
"I hate this place!" He exclaimed. West Mewni's swamp was one of the only places he'd ever felt cold, and for good reason - he could barely maintain the tiny flame between his fingers for warmth, nevermind the magic that normally kept him alive and toasty.
"Tom!" He heard his name through the mist, like Janna was 10 miles away. Of course, in this fog it could've just as easily been 100 feet.
"Janna, come find me!" He called back, stopping himself before he took a step into the mud towards her voice. He was not going to swim through this gunk.
"Tom?"
Startled, he turned around at the voice, the flame on his hand going out despite his every effort to keep it going. That had sounded like…
"Tom, is that you?"
"Star?" Tom called hesitantly into the fog. "Star, is that you?"
"Tom, where are you?" She called back, worry in her voice. "I can't see you!"
Shaking his head as he utterly failed to reignite his tiny flame, he squinted into the fog. There was definitely something moving, just outside his field of vision.
"Star, don't move!" Tom shouted. "I'm coming to you!"
Abandoning the thought of avoiding swimming, he was waist-deep in the mud immediately, heading away from where he'd heard Janna, and straight towards Star's voice.
"Star, I'm coming!" He shouted.
Janna wasn't sure what she was seeing through the swamp, but judging from the shape and the scream, it wasn't human.
And judging from the other shapes around her, it definitely wasn't alone.
"Janna, come here!" She heard Jackie's voice this time.
"What's my last name?" She shouted back.
The mist stayed silent for a moment, before continuing.
"Janna, it's me!" Tom's voice called out, from a different direction. "I need your help!"
Squinting, Janna made out the form through a thin layer of the mist, and backed away towards the tallest point of her little rock. It looked… spidery.
"So that's what this is…" she muttered to herself. "Marco was iffy, but Jackie's not possible." If they had tried using Tom's voice first, they might have gotten her. With that in mind, she raised her voice. "Nice try, monster!" She called out into the fog. "Get lost!"
The shapes were getting closer in the fog, and she heard Tom's voice again. "Janna, quick!" He shouted to her. "They're getting close - come with me!"
Turning, there were just more circling figures - no sign of her guide.
"Yeah, okay…" she muttered, crouching at the top of the rock. The muck was still uncomfortably close, only a couple of feet away - if they all attacked at once, she wouldn't stand a chance.
There was a distant shout from further off, and she felt a sudden wave of heat hit her in the face. The monsters around her shrieked and receded a bit. She suspected they'd just found Tom.
"Star? Star, where are you!" Tom called into the fog, now up to his stomach in the mud. There - the mist stirred as she moved, just the vaguest shadow - but he kept moving, slipping up to his chest as he sunk even deeper. He'd never felt so cold, his already-pale skin turning white.
"Almost - there!" He gasped. The shape in the fog turned, and his eyes widened as he got a glimpse of what it was. Before he could react, though, he felt something wrap around his ankle, and he was dragged under the surface.
He barely had time to shout before he felt the mud pressing in on his face and eyes. It filled his ears and covered his nose, and he could barely close his mouth in time, swallowing what made its way inside. He quickly felt his head smack against the mushy bottom of the pond as whatever was around his ankle dragged him along.
Suddenly, there were sharp spines along one of his arms, and he yanked it away as something bit down. Trying desperately to summon a fireball, he was just getting colder - the swamp now offering a nice warmth compared to his own skin.
Yeah, he thought, defiantly. This is not how the prince of the underworld is gonna die.
Something bit down on his scalp, and he opened his mouth to shout, only for the mud to rush in. There was a tugging in skull - painful, like someone was pulling on a string attached to his brain - but also separate from the thing attached to his head.
Miraculously, he felt his body begin to warm up and glow, and as the pain intensified, he felt the warmth blast outwards in a gout of flame.
He barely had time to register that he was on the ground, which was suddenly dry and cracked. His eyes were still caked shut by dirt, but he felt the thing on his head suddenly let go, and he concentrated on the tendril around his ankle - it incinerated in an instant.
The mud in his mouth had evaporated - no, disintegrated into dust, and he let out a defiant, otherworldly roar before passing out.
Janna covered her ears with mud-covered hands as the creatures around her screamed - and then all at once, charged.
She got a glimpse of one, and that was all she needed - it best resembled a six-legged spider, skating along the lake, a pale, fleshy, grotesque body and four-eyed head held aloft by legs that seemed to be composed of a forest of hands -
"Levitato!" She said on instinct, Tom's word's flashing through her mind - anti-magic swamp.
To her surprise, then, she flew upwards as easily as ever, the creatures below her - of which there were now half a dozen - all crashing into the rock she'd been standing on, pulverizing it.
"Of course!" She called in frustration. The creatures looked up at her in confusion and she glared back down. "Incendio directum!" She shouted. A ball of flames erupted from her hands and down into the face of one of the creatures, causing them all to shriek again as it receded into the water.
"When someone tells you that your magic won't work, try it anyway!" She reprimanded herself before launching another fireball.
The rest jumped for her, and she flew higher - only to see that they were tethered to the mud, fleshy cords attached to their hindquarters.
"So, those are…" Janna muttered. "Ah, got to find Tom!"
Flying above the mist for the first time, she saw that it was a nearly solid carpet below her, stretching towards the horizon in all directions. Fortunately, Tom's location wasn't hard to find. A circular hole had been punched in the foggy canopy, only a few hundred feet away.
Swooping down into it, she saw that Tom was even worse off than she was in the mud department. His face and body were entirely coated in cracking dust, and he wasn't moving. Where he was laying, though, was even more interesting. The mud around him had been repelled, and then quickly dried - he was laying in a crater of dry dirt, nearly 20 feet below the rest of the swamp.
Swooping down, Janna grabbed him by the shoulders and hauled him up into the air just as the earthen barricade broke, a horde of the spider-things breaking through and screaming their defiance.
Janna looked back as she swooped up and away. An enormous thing had breached the fog, like the centipede they'd fought earlier, except the spider-things were branching off like leaves on a tree. There were hundreds, maybe even thousands, all reaching out and grasping for her.
"Janna!" Marco's voice thundered into her ears, desperate, angry, hurt - "Janna, come back!"
Janna didn't go back.
Marco and Kelly stepped through their final portal, back onto a Mewnian mountainside.
Marco, for his part, was sporting a hat with a Goblin Dogs logo on it, and a new shirt with a ferris wheel and a slogan: 'I visited the Interdimensional Carnival and all I got was this t-shirt.' Kelly was holding a ball of cotton candy, which she took an eager bite of while the two laughed.
"Well, Star wasn't there but that sure was fun!" Marco took a bundle of Kelly's candy and tossed it into his mouth as Kelly nodded in agreement. "Thanks for the stuff, by the way," he continued, gesturing to his attire.
Kelly shrugged. "No big!" She said. "Sorry for making you fight a giant zebra."
"You kidding?" Marco asked. "Today's been awesome."
Looking out over a scenic vista, Maroc thought he caught a flash of light at the foggy base of their mountainside, but it was gone in moments.
"So," he sat down and dangled his feet over the cliffside, and Kelly joined him. "What's so special about this place?"
"Oh, Star used to bring Tom up here when he got too overheated," Kelly laughed. "Got tired of him burning out the cave, I guess."
Marco looked around - sure enough, there were a pair of lawn chairs, a mini-fridge and an ice freezer in a corner, all disused.
"Well, she's not here." Marco stated the obvious. "Should we go?"
Kelly shrugged and withdrew a soda from her hair before popping the top and taking a swig. "May as well wait for Tom and the other one, they're definitely coming here last."
Marco sat back and watched - it was mid afternoon now, the 4:00 sun just beginning to consider setting in the distance.
"What was Star like?" He asked. Kelly set her soda down and thought.
"Bubbly." She said. "Determined. Cheerful. Didn't like responsibility. Suited me fine."
She picked up the can and inspected it before taking another drink. "Y'know she was the one who found me? There's a cave at the base of this mountain. Used to be my home. Star found me there when she was exploring with Tom. We hit it off, and the rest is history."
Marco looked at her oddly. "You live in a cave?"
"Lived in a cave," Kelly corrected. "Now I rent a place. Speaking of which…"
Reaching into her hair again, she withdrew their prize money from the arena, which she divided before giving a share to Marco. "Rent money," she explained. "Thanks, again, for fighting. Those guys had it coming."
Marco set the cash with the rest of his stash in his sock. How weird was it that they'd been able to get paid in USD?
"Don't mention it."
They sat there for another few minutes like that, enjoying the view, before Kelly squinted down the mountainside and pointed. "Hey, does that look like..."
Marco followed her gaze and saw what she was pointing at - a gaggle of monsters, about a dozen, sporting backpacks and climbing towards them. He could hear distant shouting, now, too -
"Come on, you call that climbing? I can climb better in sleep! How you expect to serve in Monster Army if you can't do this?"
The voice sounded familiar, and sure enough, Jackie's frog friend was scaling the mountain above the monsters, bounding from slope to slope like a mountain goat while his followers gasped and cried.
"Ludo." Kelly said darkly, and tossed her empty soda can into the back of the cave before cracking her knuckles. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"
Marco stood up and stretched. "Why not? Got some time to kill before Tom gets here anyways."
When Tom awoke, the first thing he realized was that he was wet. The second thing he realized was that he could use his magic again, which he quickly used to boil the water left on his skin and clothes.
The third thing he realized was that his head was absolutely pounding.
"Hey," Janna said, looking up from her phone next to him.
"Owwww," Tom replied, sitting up and rubbing his scalp. "What happened?"
Janna shrugged. "Monster stuff."
A steady river was flowing next to them, babbling happily against the shoreline, and Tom wished he could get it to shut up. "Why was I wet?" He asked.
"You were all dusty, so I dunked you in the river." Janna stated simply. She still hadn't looked up from her phone.
"Uh, thanks?"
"Don't mention it."
"What about you?"
Janna smirked as she thought about the state she'd left her home shower in, and kept looking for a cleaning spell as her mother's furious future reaction screeched through her mind. "Portalled home, took a bath."
Tom looked around again. "Hang on, how'd we get here?" He asked.
"I flew us," Janna said simply. She set her phone back in her pocket, annoyed. "And by the way, my magic worked fine in the swamp. Don't tell me it doesn't work if you don't know. Took forever to get all the mud off…"
Tom stood up and winced. "Owww," he muttered. "Everything hurts. And speak for yourself," he told her. "Sure didn't work for me."
"You did summon a giant fireball," Janna pointed out, trying to take the bite out of her voice. "Can't exactly say that, either."
"Internal magic," Tom said. "Almost killed me."
"Internal magic?" Janna asked.
"Yeah, it's, uh…" Tom scratched his head and groaned. "Oww. I've got a headache, ask later."
Looking up, he pointed to the summit of a nearby mountain. "Last spot's up there." He said. "Star used to take me up there when… well, nevermind that." He blushed, and Janna smirked.
"You don't have to say it, loverboy." She said, and Tom fumbled.
"What? No, I meant -"
"Don't want to know!" Janna interrupted, still suppressing a giggle. "You okay to fly?"
Tom stretched his arms and reached for the sky, hovering for a few seconds before clutching his head and touching the ground again. "Actually, that took a lot out of me. Could you…?"
Janna shrugged. "Sure. Levitato!"
Before long they were floating up towards the mountainside, and Janna looked down with Tom at the swirling mist of the swamp, miles behind them. He was right - it was enormous, stretching off into the horizon. The fog even reached into the sky, albeit much more thinly. The creature hadn't followed them, fortunately, but…
"I thought I saw Star." Tom said, sadly. "I knew that thing lived there but I thought I saw her, and everything else stopped mattering."
Janna flew in silence. She'd heard Marco, and Jackie, later. But she'd known they couldn't have been there. What would've happened if they'd been with her…?
She was broken out of her reverie by Tom's direction. "There," he pointed above them.
As they flew up, Janna caught a glimpse of Buff Frog, carrying some battered and bruised monsters down the mountainside. "What the…" She wondered aloud, before spotting their target. Marco and Kelly were sitting on a ledge overlooking the mountainside, dangling their legs as they chatted.
Janna landed with her partner and Marco stood up while Kelly waved. "You guys see the monsters?" Janna asked.
"Taken care of." Marco said proudly, and Janna looked at his gear. He looked like a tourist.
"Fun day?"
"Yeah! We fought monsters, went to a carnival, went and got hot dogs, fought more monsters…" Marco reminisced. "What about you?"
Janna thought on her response before replying. "About the same."
Marco snorted. "Bet our cotton candy was better."
Janna thought of the swamp monster and shivered. "Probably."
"Find anything?" Tom asked Kelly as he sat down next to her.
Kelly shrugged, reached into her hair and offered him a soda. "Nope. You?"
Tom sighed. "Nothing. Can't say I was surprised, but still…"
A few hours later, sitting in the corner booth of the Barberry Bros diner, Janna, Marco and Jackie dug into a full-sized, freshly-heated pie - a welcome reprieve from the bitter, mid-60s southern-california winter outside. The sun was setting outside as Janna relayed the details of their day to Jackie, while Marco sat as far away from his crush as possible, intent on avoiding eye contact.
"So yeah, it was pretty much a total bust." Janna said through a mouthful of cherries. "Although Tom was pretty cool though…"
Trailing off and setting down her fork to think, neither Jackie nor Marco noticed - one now single-mindedly intent on shovelling food into her mouth, the other dead-set on shrinking down small enough to escape into the lining of the booth bench.
"Hey, Marco," Janna asked suddenly. "What's it like to have a crush?"
Marco glanced at Jackie before returning his hardened stare to the plate in front of him. "Uh, I don't know!" He piped, before gobbling down a few bites of his slice.
"I mean, have you ever known someone where you just wanna… bury your face in their chest and inhale?" Janna gestured vainly with her fork. "Just, y'know, hypothetically."
Marco choked on his pie and slammed his fist into the table as he gasped for air. Jackie looked up from her own plate, now empty, concerned, and Marco gave her a quick glance before seemingly forgetting about his need to breathe altogether. "Nope!" He choked out, high-pitched and squeaking.
"Hmm." Patting her friend on the back, Janna looked out the window as she thought about things. Despite herself, she was pretty sure that Marco was lying.
Let's see, author's notes…
Oh! Did you know we'd originally planned to show Kelly and Marco visiting the carnival, too? This was… this was originally gonna be a really long chapter.
How do you like our version of Kelly? We don't know that much about her 'official' version yet, so, like Janna, I expect she'll be a bit different. You may notice a lack of Tad. We're not sure if we've cut him completely. We did find that introducing him here was resulting in some… crowding.
Speaking of Kelly, we quite like her. You can head over to our tumblr (therussohousehold)dottumblr(dotcom) to see more on what our version of her character is, and how she's come to be. Short answer: think Terra, from Teen Titans. It'll be good. Probably.
How about the monsters? Our version of Mewni's no vacation spot, that's for sure.
Comment responses… we've been replying to these on our tumblr, but here's some quick ones:
Imhere4svtfoe: Thanks for such an in-depth series of reviews! It's insanely helpful to know what people think as they read through the story, and we've not received such in-depth, universal feedback from one person before. Well, not at all at once, definitely. You already know this, but I've replied to some of your points individually over on the tumblr. Not putting it here because it's quite a large block of text. Thanks, again!
Nico87: We're glad that you're still here reading and enjoying the story! One of our biggest concerns this season is making sure that we keep in touch with the goofy roots of both the show, and the early chapters of the story, so it's nice to see people who've enjoyed both the beginning and the most recent updates.
Guest: Isn't River goofy? I'm not sure what it is about Mewni that makes people fundamentally misunderstand such concepts as "towels" (don't they have those?) but it's sure entertaining to write. Also, that realm wasn't the magic dimension. Probably. Maybe. I mean, it might be. Okay, to be honest we're not sure where it was yet, either, but we have plans for it! No random throwaway plot-devices except for the occasional intermission, promise.
OMACOO1: Heh, I was wondering of people would think Heinous was the hotel manager. Nope! Same archetype of character, though. Maybe a little bit more Minerva McGonagall-ey.
On the next episode of Jay vs the Eff Of Eee: Deciding that she's had enough time to rest, The Janitor declares war on Janna for all she's done. As it turns out, though the dimensions may be different, the janitorial code is universal. Will Marco help Janna escape the living horrors that the Janitor has planned, or stand by, as his beloved mentor carries out his 'justice?'
Find out next time, on the next episode: Janitorial Justice!