A/N

I'm going to try and update every two weeks. Classes are kicking my ass.

Saturday Oct 30th

12pm

Libby's bed

Crying

Do you want to know why I'm crying? I hope so because Jas didn't want anything to do with me. And I don't want anything to do with her and her big mouth. Her mouth is worse than Mark Big Gob. I have only snogged one of those two people, and I will tell you with certainosity, hers is bigger.

30 seconds later

I haven't snogged Jas in case you were wondering. After this morning though I might as well hop on the Lezzy Trolly because I am doomed to never have a man.

1 minute later

Ever

2 minutes later

What if I start growing trouser snaked addendums. I would be better off.

5 minutes later

I'm getting off subject though. I'm here to tell you about my morning. I woke up bright and early at the crack of 10am to Libs singing bible hymns. At least it wasn't the Satanic ritual as we previously thought. By we, I mean me and the rest of your reading this, since no one else pays attention to what I say.

I got up and got ready in my boy attire, simple pimple. Parents weren't home. There was no food. Just another day.

I was rummaging through the cabinets trying to find a cracker or something to munch on, when out of nowhere, the phone rang!

I could've sworn I was in the Twilight Zone, because that stuff never happens in this house.

Today is no normal day you see.

I sprinted to the phone and out of breath answered, "Nicolson residents, Georgia speaking," trying to sound all nice and polite because of such a rare occurrence.

Jas said, "Hi Georgia, it's me Jas!"

I said, "I know it's you Jas."

Jas said, "I wanted to make sure."

I said, "I'm sure it's you are you sure?" It was so fun messing with her head.

Jas paused for a second, "I hope it's me."

I rolled my eyes, "what is it, Jas?"

Jas said, "oh right, Robbie was just by here. He said he was going to come by your house. He didn't seem too thrilled. I would prepare a cake if I were you."

I felt like I was about to have a nervy b just at the mention of his name. "When is he coming Jas?" I practically screamed into the phone. I started to rip off my boy stuff waiting for her to respond.

Jas took another one of her long Jas-like pauses while she chewed on something. Probably her pen, or a carrot. "He left her almost 10 minutes ago."

I slammed down the phone and ran upstairs to get ready for him. I would call her back later.

2 minutes later

I only had time for lippy, and a change in outfits before I heard the doorbell ring.

10 minutes later

At the door

I was at the door. I'm not at the door now, I'm in my bed all weepy. In the scenario I was at the door though. Just wanted to clarify for those less bright than the average light bulb.

I opened the door and who was standing there but the gorgy sex god himself.

Robbie smiled his gorgy smile and said, "Hi Georgia."

And would you like to know what I said? I said, "Bonjour Robert." I didn't even know if that was his actual name but I used it and at that point he probably thought I was having an affair and confused the names.

The thing he didn't know is that if I was confusing the names I would have said Bonjour Dave.

I think Robbie didn't hear me, or chose not to, and continued talking. "Can we talk?" He asked.

Oh no. That was worse than the whole 's'laters' fandango. Nothing understandable comes from either of those things. Especially when a boy says it.

We walked a little ways to sit on the ledge near my lawn, and we sat. And sat.

1 minute later

We sat for so long my bum started to go numb, and I had to stand up and do a couple of jumping jacks to get the feeling.

30 seconds later

It also probably gave him a nice few of my nunga-nungas.

If he was upset or something, this would be a good reminder of how attracif his girlfriend is.

2 minutes later

I did a few jumping jacks, and sat back down on the ledge. I tried to smile and act sweet after. "I'm very into fitness," I told Robbie. He just nodded at me. Was he attending the nodding dog convention too?

5 minutes later

This is the amount of time it took for him to break up with me.

You read it correctly folks, Georgia and Robbie are no more.

I treaded in the sea of love, and was attacked and eaten by the loch ness monster called heart break.

2 minutes later

Where even is the loch ness monster?

Does she have a boy in her life? Or is that why she is called heart break and eats sad people, because she is sad too.

12:45pm

Woah is me. I am now as lonely as a cloud on a clear day.

1 minute later

Why am I not writing poetry. I'm so full of sadness and depressionosity just like Da Vinci.

3:00pm

I've compiled a list in ways I am perfect for the job of writing sad things.

List:

I have a mad family

I have mad cats

I am sad 110 % of the time

I am bad at maths

This means I have to be good at writing

I am a transvestite in the making

I don't have a boyfriend

I'm currently crying myself to sleep

And then I fell asleep. The list only took me 15 minutes, but then I dozed off a bit.

2 minutes later

Maybe I should call Jas back and apologize.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I pride myself on being able to laugh even though my life is a sham.

1 minute later

I should mention how she has the hump with me.

After Robbie broke my heart, shattering it to pieces, I called Jas back and poured my heart out over the phone to her.

When I didn't get any response I asked if she was still there and she said "I'm ignoring you."

And then I might've told her that her fringe was ugly.

She got a bit more grumpy after that, but I was too sad to care.

3:30pm

Now I'm all alone.

10 minutes later

Still lying here. Wondering what the point is.

2 minutes later

I wonder what Dave the Laugh is doing.

Living room

4 minutes later

Decided to call Dave

He answered on the second ring, he's so great.

Dave said in a high pitched voice, "Hello."

I said in a normal voice, "Dave, it's me, Georgia."

Dave said, "Georgia dah-ling, it's great to hear from you. How are you doing?"

I sort of got all weepy again and said, "He broke up with me."

He said, "Of course, kitty cat. I'll be there in two shakes of a camel's hump."

I have to admit that cheered me up a bit. I'm glad he didn't get all humpty dumpty when I mentioned the break up, he's such a good mate.

Yes, that's what we are. We're just mates.

For now.

Back in bed

I don't even want to get dressed in drag, but if I don't then I'll need to be his slavey girl. Rosie gave me some insight to his plans, and… I don't even want to repeat some of the stuff.

Bathroom

4:05pm

Getting ready

Put my wig on, and my clothes back on.

I know I'm all sad but putting this stuff on sort of cheered me up.

Not because I'm turning in a transvestite.

Not that that's a bad thing. My grandma was a transvestite, and she was quite a colorful character.

Literally (hahahah).

2 minutes later

I'm done now.

I forget how easy it is to get ready if you're a guy.

The doorbell just rang, again. I'm very nervous to answer it, again. I'm just hoping that Dave won't break up with me, too.

Even if we're not a couple.

Maybe he could do the opposite of break up with me.

1 minute later

I wouldn't mind that.

5 minutes later

I offered for Dave and me to go on a walk. I know leaving Libby alone in the house isn't a good idea, but she has Gordy and Angus to watch her.

I don't know which one is more responsible.

10 minutes later

Silent walk

I imagine this is how the underground railroad felt. I'm not sure how they're the same because we're not hiding but they had to walk and were quiet, as are Dave and me.

He is holding my hand though.

2 minutes later

I have to say something.

"Did you know that hippopotamus is greek for under water race horse?"

He stopped walking and turned to me and said "did you know that you're mad?"

I got a little offended at that and said, "did you know that you're mad?"

He said, "how am I mad?"

I said, "for thinking that I'm mad."

He said, "am I mad for wanting to snog you?"

I said, "I don't believe so."

And he snogged me.

It was only a number four, and would've been longer had some lonely women not been standing right behind us because we were sort of blocking the walk way, but my legs were jello.

Dave turned to the woman, and sounding a bit cross he said, "excuse me madam, but I was in the middle of something."

The women got all red and flustered, sort of like Jas when you touch her owls.

Dave got down on one, and took my hand in his. He did a quick 4.5, hand kissing, at least I think that's what it was. Jas tried to explain it to me and she told me how Tom sucks on her fingers, and I told her I had to go dunk my head in water in hopes of forgetting she ever said that. Dave just placed a kiss on my hand and smiled up at me.

"George, will you do me the hono- oof!" Dave was midsentence before being tackled by no one other than Sven.

"Jaja, footie!" Sven cheered, getting off of Dave and lifting him over his shoulder like a caveman.

Rosie ran over, holding her sides from her laughter fit, "I was teaching Sven American football," she explained. "I hope I didn't interrupt anything."

I glared at her, "you did."

Rosie shrugged, "they're all at the park now, we're going to go watch all the lads play."

I continued my glaring.

Rosie handed me a furry pom-pom, "c'mon Georgia! We need to go cheer on our men! And your woman."

A/N: Even if this was a little bit of a sad chapter I know you all have to love the results. If you do not I don't know what to say because I'm happy with them.