Spencer's POV
It must have been pure luck that Toby decided to show up on Friday. Though whether it was good luck or bad luck I wasn't really sure.
Knowing what I was going to do, it hurt to look at him. Something I'm sure didn't escape his notice even if he didn't call attention to it.
I couldn't help but think of everything I would lose, everything it would mean, breaking up with Toby. He had been so good to me and in the end he would get nothing in return. But I can't help the way I feel. I can't help falling for Quinn. It's like breathing. It doesn't matter if you want to or not, and you can try to resist, but it's inevitable and necessary that you do it.
Thoughts of Quinn brought a smile to my face. That's all it took these days. Just the mere thought of her brought me into a better mood.
Now all I had to do was decide when to break up with him. Do I spend one more weekend with him? Or do I tell him now and send him away?
Toby was such a big part of my life, and I didn't really want to let him go, not now, not later, but then I couldn't have him and have Quinn. And so I had to. And I decided that I had to do it sooner rather than later, before I lost my nerve.
Now the question remained, how? How do you tell the guy that has been your rock, the guy that has seen you at your absolute worst and still loves you, the guy that has been by your side and fought for you that you don't want to be with him anymore?
Then again, it wasn't that I didn't want to be with him, it was that I wanted to be with Quinn more. Not that it would hurt him any less.
I took a deep breath as I closed the door to my dorm behind me.
"What's up?" Toby asked. His brow was furrowed like it always did when he was worried or concerned.
That was my opening. I had to do it now. And yet I couldn't get the words to come.
I didn't have the words. Not yet. What would I say anyway? 'I think we're better as friends?' 'It's not you, it's me?'
Toby approached me carefully as I nearly choked on the air thinking of the best possible way to do this. Only there was no best way. It was going to hurt just the same no matter how I did it.
I could feel a tear run down my cheek and I hadn't even said anything yet.
"Spencer, what's wrong?" Toby said.
Suddenly I went back to the night we found out Mona was 'A'. The night she tried to get me to join her. The night I could have died.
All I could hear were the words Toby said to me ringing in my ears. Over and over again.
"Pretending not to love you was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
I started sobbing. Uncontrollably sobbing, struggling to breathe. And I knew I wouldn't be able to stop anytime soon. And still I knew I had to speak through that.
Toby just gathered me into his arms and held me. I wasn't sure whether or not I wanted to fight him on that, but in the end I didn't have the energy to. Of course I felt horribly guilty that he was standing there comforting me while I was getting ready to speak the words that were sure to break his heart.
"Shh, it's okay," Toby said. "It's okay, whatever's wrong we can fix it."
I pulled away from him at that.
"No," I said. The first word I've said to him since we got to my dorm. No.
I felt my throat closing in on me, my world shutting down as I was about to do one thing I never thought I'd have to do again.
"No," I said again between sobs.
"There's nothing…" I started. "There's nothing…" But those weren't the right words.
And then there was nothing. Toby tried to wrap me in a hug again, but his arms no longer felt like a safe place and I pulled away.
"I'm sorry," I half-whispered, half-cried.
"Spencer," he said. "Spence, what's wrong?"
This was the moment. I had to do it. And I had to do it now.
"There's someone else."
The words came tumbling out of my mouth. It was straight to the point, direct. I needed to be.
I could hear his sharp intake of breath through the sound of my own sobs.
This was real. This was happening.
Quinn's POV
I was pondering Spencer's invitation to spend the weekend in New York with her as I walked back to my dorm room. I only had one more day before I told her I'd give her an answer. I had wanted to say yes when she asked me. I still wanted to say yes, but there were so many questions filling my head. I suppose I should've just asked her, but then I didn't want her to think that I was pushing her.
But even if it got awkward, I'm sure Rachel or Santana would let me crash at their place and I could take the train back. Maybe a weekend away could be good for us.
I wasn't even halfway down the hall to my room when I heard the sobs. The heart-wrenching sobs that I realized were coming from Spencer's room as I stood between her door and my own.
I knocked lightly on the door.
"Spencer?" I called out through the closed door.
There was no answer.
"Spencer?" I called out again. "It's me Quinn."
"She's been like that all afternoon."
I turned around to see a girl I recognized as Avery, our RA.
"She has?" I asked.
"Yeah, I've been considering just going in there, but I wasn't sure it was a good idea," Avery said.
"Can you… She's my friend, and I really want to check on her, make sure she's okay. Is there any way you could?"
"Oh yeah," Avery said, producing a key and unlocking Spencer's door. "Good luck."
Spencer's room was dark, but I could see her form curled up on her bed.
"Spencer?" I said.
She looked up at me, tears pouring down her face.
"Oh, Spence," I said. I crawled onto her bed and pulled her into my arms. "It's gonna be okay, Spence, you're gonna be okay."