Kathryn and Chakotay junior were among the last to leave.
She hadn't noticed when the others had called it a night, since the two of them had spent the vast majority of their time in the Irish pub dancing.
When they finally made their way out, the only remaining members of Voyager's crew still lingering there were one of the Delaney sisters, Kathryn couldn't tell which one, and Harry. Her operations officer was leaning against the bar still trying to charm his way into the affections of his holographic date, and the Delaney sister in question was in the arms of a 19th Century Irish hologram, who looked like he couldn't believe his luck.
"I can't believe I let you keep me up this late!" Kathryn said, as they arrived outside her quarters.
"It's only just after midnight, Kathryn," he replied quietly. "We were only there a couple of hours."
She turned to find he was close behind her, well inside her personal space. "What do you mean 'only'? We're both due on the bridge first thing in the morning. Unless you've talked your 'other half' into switching your duty shifts to give you the morning off that is."
He smiled. "Oh, I would never abuse my connections, I assure you."
"Tuvok to Janeway."
She looked up at her date and their eyes locked. It felt familiar.
"Go ahead Tuvok. What is it?"
"We are picking up some unusual readings on long range sensors, Captain. They appear to be consistent with signs of chronoton flux."
As the Vulcan was speaking, her escort's hand came up slowly towards her face and his fingers caught an escaped wisp of her unruly hair. She didn't react, but continued to look directly into his eyes as she gave her orders.
"Change course to investigate. How far away are they?"
He tried to tuck the strand behind her ear, and it sprung back out of its own accord. She watched his lips curl into an amused smile.
"Approximately thirty hours at warp eight."
Her voice was steady with calm authority. "Very good, Tuvok. Keep me informed if there's anything else to report."
"Understood. Tuvok out."
The man standing too close to her was still looking amused.
"You were distracting me." Her reprimand was as direct as his gaze.
"I'm sorry." He wasn't. "I just got to thinking that he might have found my ride home."
Kathryn's fingers found the offending wisp of hair and she managed to secure it behind her ear herself. "It's possible I suppose. Perhaps we'll know more in thirty hours time."
She took a step back from him, towards the keypad for her door and hesitated. "Well, I should go to bed now, so thank you for a lovely evening. You really didn't need to walk me back to my quarters, you know."
He lifted both arms from his sides in an expansive gesture. "Can't help it, it's my upbringing. My mother thought it was important men maintained a few of the traditions from the past that she approved of. Arrive with a gift, see your date home…"
"Well, job done. I'm home, thank you." She dipped her head and the errant wisp of hair sprung out from behind her ear again. He moved closer again and she felt his fingers try again to brush the strand from her face.
She looked up to find him studying her face. "I wasn't done with my list," he said quietly. His gaze was unavoidable. "See your date home; thank her for a wonderful evening; and be sure to kiss her goodnight."
Kathryn's eyes followed the tip of his tongue as he moistened his lips.
"Although I'd prefer not to do it in the corridor." A small smile curled one side of his mouth.
Janeway felt herself smile too as she waved a finger at him. "You know I think I just might need to get my first officer to do some work with you on indiscreet shipboard fraternisation."
His smile spread a little. "Oh, I can assure you, he understands the situation perfectly."
"What do you mean?" She frowned, more than a little confused by such a statement.
"I just mean that I am your first officer – or I will be one day – remember what we told you after our vision quest?"
"Yes…. But…"
He was still looking directly into her eyes, as if he were willing her to understand. "And I'd go as far to say that while I am, in no uncertain terms, powerfully attracted to you, your first officer - well, he's been in love with you for longer than he'd care to admit, even to himself. And if I'm about to disappear in my sleep again, there are some things we should talk about, now."
"Chakotay… I.."
He took her elbow and steered her towards the door. "I meant what I said about preferring not to do this in the corridor. Shall we?"
Once inside, Kathryn headed immediately for the replicator. It was something to do, time to think. She pulled up the selection of Irish whiskeys available, but her eyes refused to focus on it.
How on earth was she supposed to talk to him about this? How could she talk to this Chakotay about the feelings of the other one? It was just too confusing. She believed them when they had explained to her after their joint vision quest that they now felt sure they were two parts of the same man. She believed them, but she had no idea what that actually meant in terms of how she should relate to them. So much about them was the same, but so much wasn't. The differences were significant.
This man walking into her quarters behind her looked at her in a way that made her feel like a desirable woman. Her Chakotay had only been at liberty to express his desire for her for a few too short minutes over a year ago now, when he'd mistakenly believed she was inviting his attentions. And since that night, she hadn't once seen anything even remotely like that level of desire surface in his eyes again.
He'd accepted her decision not to pursue a relationship. They'd both done their best to try and bury their rekindled awareness of the powerful attraction they still felt for each other – an attraction that they'd discovered was still very much alive, lying dormant, not so far beneath the surface of their routine interactions.
It was familiar territory for them – being obliged to try and quash something that had a life of its own. A spark had ignited between them the day he'd beamed onto her bridge spitting fire – and they'd done their best to dampen that down. They'd ignored it, deliberately, over time, so much time, and they'd found ways to function together.
But with the man behind her, that same spark had done nothing but smoulder and burn ever since he got here. He was that same man, so that same potential existed, and he had not been subject to the constraints that her first officer had lived within for the last six years.
Thinking now about the fact that the man behind her might be only thirty hours away from returning to his own timeline, Kathryn had a moment of clarity.
He would be going back to the Val Jean. Then, a few weeks after his return to his own time, Voyager would follow his ship into the badlands.
He was Chakotay, and he would be her Chakotay one day.
This was the same man whose dark expressive eyes would tempt her thoughts away from Mark in the first few days and weeks of their journey. The man who would ask her in the middle of her bridge, with a directness she would be unprepared for, whether even she would eventually pair off with someone on the ship. The man she would only really start to get to know in earnest on New Earth, when he would let his guard down a little. The man who would make her laugh more and who would devote himself to making her life better.
The man who would risk his own life to protect her so many times over that she would lose count. The man who would desperately try to breathe life back into her body as she lay dying on some godforsaken planet light years from home.
The man without whom she still couldn't imagine her life out here. The man whose friendship and devotion she would come to take for granted.
He was here, behind her. And he was also in his quarters, probably asleep by now.
So how on earth should she go about making sense of what he'd just said? She wasn't really sure another whiskey was a good idea, but hell, it was too late now.
Then suddenly he was right behind her, so close behind her she could feel the warmth of his body. If she turned around she'd find herself in his arms.
He must have leant in close, because she felt his breath caress her neck as he spoke, soft and low. "I'm not asking for any decisions here, Kathryn, I'm just saying there's something between us - I know you can feel too – something that I'd like to explore, while we still have the chance."
Looking down, without turning around she began, "Look, we should really…."
Then his lips were on the side of her neck. Soft, but hard enough. His left arm found its way around her waist, where it had already found its way several times earlier this evening, and he pulled her back flush against his torso. His right hand started at her shoulder and began to lightly caress her upper arm. She didn't move.
His kisses moved slowly and deliciously up the side of her neck to her ear and paused for a moment. "If you don't want me to kiss you, tell me and I'll stop."
It was just too much. Despite everything she believed about parameters and protocol and the dangers of indulging her feelings while she was still out here, she wasn't a saint. She was a woman. A woman with so many unmet needs it was hard to even think about them anymore. A woman in the arms of a man she had been powerfully attracted to for some time. An attractive, intelligent man who wanted her, right now. The man might not even be here much longer if he was right about things.
With each firm kiss to her neck, the distinctions between past and present, between this man and her Chakotay blurred a little more.
She found herself leaning back further into his firm torso. Her left hand moved to cover his around her waist and her right hand stretched up behind her to find the side of his head and her fingers threaded up into his thick, close-cropped hair.
Her voice came low and dusky. "Maybe I'm out of my mind, but…"
He kissed up past her jaw and pressed his cheek to hers. As he did so, the hand that had been around her waist swept up slowly to cup her breast. It had been so long since her body had enjoyed this sort of attention that she almost moaned because it felt so unreasonably good. The hand that had been caressing her arm moved up to the side of her face. He guided her head backwards and she twisted slightly within his embrace so that his mouth could find hers.
Finally.