Awakening
July 28th 1677
I believed child birth to be the worst pain a person could possibly with stand and yet it seemed the heavens are trying to prove how every wrong I was, when I felt my body become cold and I saw the light I thought I would be with my love in the lords home but I was darkness and pain like no other ripped through my body, I felt the flames lick at my skin before engulfing me.
Was this punishment had I been wrong in believing my god would spare me his wrath for my sin had he cursed me for giving up the life he gave me, but if so how could there be no understanding when the situation we lay in was dire and there was no hope.
I thought as the pain grew that I would lose my mind in darkness but it never came I lay feeling every prick of heat, every stab of pain and yet my body did not fail it struggled through and continued letting me feel this utter misery. There was no one with me, I was alone which made me think if Paige was suffering the same fate as I and if so where was so, was she in darkness also.
Thinking of Paige sent a different kind of pain through me, she was suffering along side me because of what we had done, what we believed to be the only way, if she had died on her bed at home like fate had planned then she would be in his arms, protected, loved and feeling no pain instead she was in damnation with me.
The pain grew hotter and stronger and I felt it moving round my body targeting each part of me like an animal stalking its prey before it brings it down to death but where was my death ?
Something called me in the pain, not a voice or a thought but a feeling that told me to remember, remember everything there ever was to remember. I knew it was a thought that no made me sense when all that consumed me was flames but I tried to do as it wanted.
I tried to think of my family, everything I had seen, treasured and held dear. Every wonderful moment in my life, all the good I had seen and the amazing people I had met.
There was no control over my thoughts they jumped from one to the next and back again, causing me to remember not only the good but the bad, all the pain I had felt and the sadness that clung on me, I tried to fight and only think of good but it was like the pain I was feeling called forward all the worst feelings and moments of my life and then the worst came with another shot of pain through my body.
Those monsters, the creatures from hell that destroyed my family and home the ones we were trying to out run but I had a sinking feeling that told me we had not, that I was not free of them yet more was coming. I felt the darkness come stronger and almost cried in relief when my mind left the pain and sank into nothing.
I do not know how much times had passed if any had at all but something pulled me from the darkness and again the pain hit me and pulled me under but it was different this time, even through the pain there was something more, I was still in darkness yes but there was something in the darkness. I tried looking and searching for it but saw nothing and felt nothing but the pain. Perhaps it was my mind finally sub-coming to the pain and cracking under the pressure of it, I was all ready to give in and accept my damnation in the small hopes that the pain would be replaced, with what I do not know but anything other then the flames I would accept.
A small whimper caught my attention I knew it had not been mine so then who was creeping in the darkness around me, again it called to me, quiet and filled with pain so I tried to focus, tried to block the pain I was feeling and listen.
It was then I realised there was more going on around my body then I had thought, I believed I was in darkness as punishment that my soul would be burning for eternity, but the more I tried the more aware of my body I became, I was still trapped in my body as the flames ripped at me, was this new punishment or had I not seen the light. Had my eyes deceived me into believing that what I desired most had come, then I remembered Paige, where was she? I tried to call for her but all that came was a pain filled scream ripping from my throat.
I continued to try but screams where all that came and it seemed now that I had accepted reality and realised I was not in hell the pain became worse it grew stronger and burned hotter and demanded that I crumble beneath it.
Again the whimper pulled my attention and I tried again to call out, my hands flinched as I tried to move them but they did as I commanded and although everything felt wrong, the surface I was on although I knew it was cold caused my skin to burn from the contact but I continued, and I felt her hand.
Relief flooded through me as I finally felt I had found my connection to pull me through the pain, she was here laying beside me and it was her whimper that had called to me. Her hand gripped at mind and I knew she was aware of me, she had been calling for me same as I had for her.
I lay with her hand in mind and tried to listen around me but the blood rushing to my ears and the beat of my heart was louder then I ever thought humanly possible, my heart should have failed me at the speed it thumped in my chest, my blood that felt like Lava ran through me and left a cold burn behind until the next rush of heat covered it.
A door opened close by and the smell of Lavender hit me and I almost cried out in disgust it smelt wrong, tainted by something foul, it grew stronger moving closer to me and I could not contain my scream as the smell triggered the flames to move closer to my chest
"soon" I voice called out and felt Paige's hand in mine grip harder she was scared, I don't know how I knew I just knew she was terrified.
I thought it had been the smell, maybe it had caused the same reaction in her as it had me but then when he spoke again I knew what had caused her fear
"They will wake soon" he muttered and a scream burst from me, I knew it was not over that our pain would continue now, the monsters were waiting and we had failed.
I had no knowledge of how much time had passed it felt like minutes and then days all at once, I felt the tears on my checks, leaving little fire trails as the pain grew closer to my heart, it had started leaving my body from my feet and fingers, it gave me small relief from the pain as it left parts of my body but the relief was short lived when I felt it hit my heart and nothing in heaven or hell could have stopped the blood curdling screams that broke free, Paige beside me was creaming herself so I knew she was feeling the same as I, and I longed to be able to take the pain from her she had suffered long before now and yet here she was lay beside me burning also, the fates are cruel I knew that now, they played with our lives like dolls in a child's hand they controlled all and liked the pain and destruction they could cause.
The pain took one last blow at my heart and then I felt it stop, not the pain, my heart.
It was beating no longer, no blood rushing through my body and yet I was still here aware of everything and more, when the pain had left my body seemed to change I could smell more then ever and hear everything around me, I could hear a single heart beat it was fast and loud and smell 3 strong scents one being the lavender that had caused me such pain, and I knew he was here standing before us.
Paige still screamed beside me and the desire to protect her became all there was, my eyes had opened and I was no longer laying down, instead I was crouched over a screaming Paige, I glanced down at my sister, and gasped she was changed .her skin was pale but flawless, pink lips, long healthy blonde hair sprawled out around her, her body looked fuller and she had grown in height, her chest larger and her hips wider she looked like a woman now, no longer a childish body that was in the grips of death and I smiled she should have looked like this everyday we had been in each others lives, she should have been healthy and strong.
I reached our to move a strand of her hair from her face and noticed the skin of hand matched that of my sister, and on my finger was my wedding band, the only things I never removed and a stab of pain hit my dead heart as Michael's face entered my mind.
Movement at my right snapped my attention to them, they stood smiling like cats with milk and I felt anger like never before, they had did this, destroyed us and caused us to burn, a growl like animal came from me and I was almost afraid but it felt natural, I was defending what was mine and they were trying to take her.
William, stood smiling down at Paige, his yellow eyes burning with passion. I could see him clearly now he was large, his shoulders broad and strong, his strong features out lined by his dark hair and I hated him, with every fibre in me I wanted to see his death.
His eyes moved to mind and the smile vanished he stood starring at me like I was the monster
"monster" I growled but my voice did not sound like my own, it was sweeter, higher but I had no times to reflect on this as his laugher ran through the room
"you are also my dear" he laughed, I was about to say something when Paige's heart stopped along with her screams, I moved slightly to her side and took her hand in mine
"Willow" she whispered before she even opened her eyes and I squeezed her hand letting her know I was here, she sat up at an incredible speed and yet my eyes followed the movement flawlessly.
She faced me and I saw the confusion in her eyes, her eyes were a burning red and they screamed danger but I tried to hide my fear, I did not want her to see it and feel ashamed or hurt
"Willow ?" she whispered and I nodded turning my attention back to the monsters, I felt her move an inch closer to my side her hand still mine
Victor moved closer and it was Paige's growl that warned him off this time he looked almost hurt that she would growl at him, like it was unreasonable that we did not trust him to be closer to us.
"you must be hungry" he smiled and tried again to move closer as if he was friend
"what have you done ?" I muttered realising that their was so many similarities now between Paige and Victor, there skin was pale and glistened slightly, their eyes both deep red, their teeth had a sharper look to them and she had a hint of lavender in her scent. He had changed us into monsters like him ...
I growled at him when he did not answer my question
"I made you strong and powerful"
"you damned us" I snapped and I had moved before the thought had crossed my mind, I stood before him looking into his eyes and my hand was at this throat
"good, you will need that fight" he laughed, his hand pushed against my chest and I felt myself move through the air until the wall stopped me, falling to the ground I simply lay there everything that had happened hit me and devastation crippled me but it was the realisation that caused my tears, I knew there was no heaven for us now, we would not be accepted, it was true he had damned us in the worst possible way, I would never be with my love again, forever kept from his side.
I felt the tears run down my checks but they smelt funny, sweet like peaches and sugar.
Paige was at my side in an instant and her arms around me, she said nothing but she did not need to I felt her love for me and her desire to help me but I also smelt her tears, they smelt like the daisies that grew in our garden.
Victor and William turned to leave but before he walked out the door Victor turned to us
"you are free to leave the room but remember I am strong and more powerful and I can hunt you down and drag you back and the punishment will be far worse then you imagine" he paused for a moment his eyes locking with mine "you will learn to love us" he laughed and closed the door behind him.
"Willow, what happened to us ?" Paige cried
"we are like him" muttered so low I was sure she not hear me "we are monsters" I sighed and leaned back against the wall, I felt physically stronger then anything I have ever felt my body screamed for me to run, move anything that aloud it to show its new strength, but mentally I felt drained and weak but most of all defeated I felt like a child that was to young to understand the world around her, stuck and struggling to fight against something she did not understand.
"what are we going to do ?" she sighed and I did not know what to say so I said nothing,
My heart was no longer beating but I felt like it had been ripped from my chest, I could feel Paige beside me and I knew she was here but I felt alone. My life was over and yet I was still here, I don't feel alive I feel like a walking shell of myself, half in my body and half out.
I pulled Paige closer to me and felt her body shake with tears, I knew I needed to protect her and she would need me to be strong but I just could not, I did not have any strength in me to fight this.
We were damned now so if we died we would go back to the flames and they would be worse then the ones we had already experienced, but I had no desire to live with out Michael or Isabella, I could not go back to her I was different, a monster she did not need me in her life what if I hurt her, or someone she loved I would never forgive myself.
So what was I left with, stay here and truly become a monster, play things for Victor and William something that I would never do, or try and find some form of redemption and hope that god grants me it so that when I leave this world I can join my love and my family once and for all.
But how would I find redemption what could I possibly do that god would see as a fitting act to redeem my soul and Paige's so that we could go home and be free.
I lay trying to convince myself that there was a reason for this, that we would be fine and somehow we would all be together once more, when I heard them
"William, she will need to feed" Victor snapped
"you saw them, they will not feed"
"they will not be able to control it, the thirst will control them and then they will understand and she will join me" Victor sounded pleased and I could picture the smile on his face as he spoke
"bring them" he growled and I listened as William left the house, the fresh air that drifted through the doors was warm and smelt like wheat and I smiled thinking of the farm and helping my uncle each year to cut the wheat down and bundle it up, but then I remembered the grave that my home had become and I flinched at the knowledge that my uncle and Michaels bodies still lay in the home.
I could hear William return but he was accompanied by two others there hearts beating franticly, and I could smell their fear, humans
I could feel the heat from their bodies getting closer and something in me turned nasty, it was cold and primal and trying to gain control but I pushed it back.
The door slowly opened and in walked William dragging two men behind him, they were crying and their eyes begged for help but I knew they would find none here, how could I help them when I could not even help us.
Paige growled beside me and I thought she was angry at William but when I turned to look at her, her eyes were black and she looked more like him then I wanted to believe, she moved to grab one of the men but my arms stopped her trying to drag her back
'the thirst will control them' Victors word ran through my mind and I knew what he meant, the image of him with my uncles blood covering his lips flashed through my mind and I felt sick, he expected us to feed from these men, to drain the dry but I would not, I could not and I would not let Paige do it. So I pulled harder to keep her form them she would hate herself when she calm back to her real self when the monster that was in control was gone and I could never bare the look of self hatred on her face.
"mine" she growled at me and tried to bite my arms
"Paige please" I whispered to her hoping to break through the cloud on her mind
William growled at me and looked feral, he grabbed one of the men bringing his arm to his mouth and he bite down, listening to the man's screams hurt me, he was so scared
but then the smell hit me, it was so sweet and delicious and I wanted it so bad, Paige had taken my distraction and broke free before and before I could grab her, she had the man in her arms and her teeth in his throat she was moaning and growling as she pulled the blood from his veins and took the life from him. I felt sick watching my sister feed like an animal on this innocent man.
I was fighting to hard to keep my control and I knew I could fight this, I would not take that man's life, he most likely had a wife, children who loved him, and they would never know what had happened to their father and husband, I can beat this, I am stronger than the monster inside but as the words ran through my head and tried to listen to them I felt my body become weak and my mind clouded, the pull I had over my control was weak and a darkness grow over me.
Fight it
the silent voice called to me and I felt myself become more aware, I listened to it and followed it order
Control it
But it was becoming harder to listen as the voice grew quieter and I grew weaker, my eyes began to closer
NO !
the voice screamed as I could not fight no more and I fell into the darkness
I slowly felt my body become my own again, the darkness was gone and in its wake was confussion and fear that ran through me like cold ice to my viens, I turned slowly and opened my eyes, I new the movement was faster then possible yet to me it felt reserved as the voice was back and it begged me not to see
Hide
Don't look
But I did and I saw Paige was curled into me and she was crying, we were alone in the room but I could still hear Victor and William they were in a room below us
"what was that ?" William growled
"She refused to feed, I could not allow that" Victor muttered but his voice sounded weak and there was tone that reminded me of pain, he was in pain
"you made her" I was confused what where they talking about, was it his fault Paige had fed from that man, he had controlled her some how
No, again the voice replied to a question I had not asked
"yes" Victor sighed, he sounded bored like the conversation was not needed
I felt Paige sobbing beside me
"Paige" I whispered but she would not answer me, I looked down at her and tried to hold that cry that was trying to break free at the sight of her, her hands covered in blood, it dripped from her mouth, her hair was matted with it also she looked like a true monster
"She is strong to resist" William's voice sounded worried "it almost killed you, to force her"
"yes, but I can control her until she accepts that there is no other way"
"she almost succeed in her attempted at stopping my pet" William laughed and it hit me they were not talking about Paige, it was me, I was the one they were talking about, he had controlled me.
I moved back from Paige and looked around the room, it was night and I could see the moon through window, I stood and moved closer scared to see my reflection in the glass
Each step was painful like a rope around my heart getting tighter as I moved, the glass would show me what I fear I already knew
I screamed as I finally saw myself, my eyes black, my hair knotted and wet. Blood dripping from my mouth and stained my face and I knew I had killed him.
I turned to look down at Paige and saw the lifeless bodies of those men, laying on the ground by the door they had not even moved their bodies, they left them on display to mock us in knowing we had killed men for their blood, slowly I crept forward fear and shame almost crippling me
They looked young, not much older then myself, one was blonde with blue eyes that where now pale and clouded, the bites in his neck looked savage.
I fell to my knees knowing it was over, there was no redemption after this my plan to save what was left of my fate was gone God would not forgive me to killing two of his creations.
My tears flowed and my hand reached out to take the man's, it was stone cold and stiff in mine
"I am sorry, I wish I could return your life and offer mine in return" I whispered
"Willow" Paige's voice called to me but I could not look at her right now, her arms came around my shoulders and I felt her crying
"I could not stop" she whispered
"I failed you" I sighed knowing I had, I should have tried harder to stop her, if I had not been distracted by the smell of his blood I may have been able to control us both
"you tried my sister but you could not, it was not your fault they died" she muttered turning my face to hers
"he took away your control" she sighed and wiped my tears away "you are strong" she smiled sadly and took the man's hand from mine laying it down by his side
"we need to clean this blood from us" she whispered
"there is a rest room for you" Victors voice called from below us
Paige looked a little shocked I think she had forgotten that our voices where not safe, that they could hear us just as we could hear them
She took my hand and together we slowly walked from the room, we turned left into a long corridor and checked each room was we walked, the opened the last door to find a large bathing tub already filled with water not sure if it was a trap or not, I walked in first and looked around before Paige followed I closed and locked it even though it would give no protection from them but the allusion was there and gave small comfort.
We looked around the room to find two dressed lay out on the side, they were simple and clean and covered all skin. Looking down at myself I knew we had no option but to accept them, my night gown was blood soaked and dirty, it clung to my skin and offered a view that I begrudged them seeing.
So slowly and cautiously we removed our clothes and climbed into the water, it was hot and wonderful against my skin but I could not enjoy it my thoughts filled with that man's face and his scream of pain, we washed each others hair and helped each other dress but we did not speak. I braided Paige's hair twisting it into a crown on her head, I did not know when we would bath again so keeping our hair pulled back and tight would prevent it from becoming foul and knotted.
She did the same for I and we took a few moments to look at ourselves in the mirror and while I can admit that our looks where beautiful and pleasant they had a sinister and siren feel to them, like it was to make us better monsters and I felt sick.
Paige sighed and took my hand in hers
"What will we do ?" she whispered and continued to look at her blood red eyes, and the more I looked into mine the more I saw that man's scared face looking back and he was begging for his life, screaming at the pain and dying with a look of fear in his eyes.
Paige calling my name pulled me from my thoughts, I took her hand and we slowly began walking back to the room where were held captive in but as we turned the room was bare, no beds, candle light and no bodies but the blood remained and so did its smell although the desirable part of the smell had gone now only a reminder of death.
Paige growled as he came closer, he moved slowly as if not to startle us but his mere presence was fearful and worrying I turned to meet his gaze and knew my face showed my disgust
"your rooms have been prepared for you" he turned slightly and pointed to a door further down the hall he stood waiting and I almost laughed at the idea that he was waiting for thanks
"you will get no thanks from us" I growled and started walking with Paige at my side, my eyes may not have been on him but I was more aware of him then anything around me and it remained that way until I closed the door behind us, sinking down to the floor and the tears started once more
"Willow" Paige whispered as she took me in her arms
"I killed that gentleman, I took his life from him" I sobbed into her arms
"I did also sister you are not alone" she was trying to comfort me but it did not work
I do not know how long we remained sitting on that floor sobbing but it did not fell long enough, I felt like I should never stop the tears that I deserved to cry for eternity for what I had done
"you have always protected me my sister, from the day we met you have done more for me then I deserved, let me protect you now, sleep and I will watch over you" she whispered helping me to my feet and walking me to the bed.
I did not think I could sleep knowing where we were, what we were and what we had done and yet sleep came for me, pulling me under fast and hard perhaps it was my body's way of giving me small relief from the pain that covered me like a blanket threatening to swallow me whole.