Falling Down
Chapter 21
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. It did not happen in real life, only in this fantasy life, where I get to make everything up.
A/N: Thank you to the wonderful xSamiliciousx and DeeMarie426 for the wonderful reviews. I'm still sleepy, so this is one of the rare times I don't have much to say lol I love you guys, and I hope you enjoy XoXoXo
"Ugh. I'm so sleepy," Al groaned, as she and Jon made their way into their hotel room. She sat on the couch, pulling her shoes off.
"I'm right there with you," he agreed. He stood in front of her, as she got up from the couch. Al wrapped her arms around his torso. He enveloped her in his muscular arms. Jon kissed the top of her head.
"So, what's on the agenda for tomorrow?" she questioned.
"I have an interview in the morning at like nine, a signing from twelve to two, and, then, we have a show after that. We have a flight to Orlando tomorrow night. We'll stay in a hotel after that. Then, on Thursday, there's some shit to do at the Performance Center, and we have a live show that night."
"Wow. Look at you. You're one busy worker bee," she commented, looking up at him with an innocent smile.
Jon smiled back at her. "Yup. This is the life I chose."
"And you're so great at what you do."
"Yeah? You like watching me?"
Al bit her bottom lip and nodded, her eyes on his. "I love watching you," she told him, her voice a bit more seductive.
"I love watching you."
"I don't even do anything but follow you around," she said with a laugh. "What could you possibly love watching me do?"
"Anything really. I just love looking at you. You're perfect."
"Are you trying to butter me up?" she suspiciously questioned.
"I'm being completely honest, but my motives could be questioned at the moment."
"If your motivation includes nudity, you know I'm onboard."
Jon laughed. "Oh yeah? You wanna get naked for me?"
"I want you to get naked for me," she corrected.
"Well, I want you to get naked for me."
"Then, I think that we can make something happen," she encouragingly replied.
"Oh yeah?"
She nodded, as he leaned in to kiss her. Al smiled against his lips, as his grasp on her tightened. As their kiss began to intensify, there was a knock on the door. The pair pulled apart.
"I'll put money on the fact that it's Renee at the door," she groaned with an eye roll. There was no doubt about it in her mind.
"I'm gonna have to agree with you," he mumbled.
"Fucking bitch," Al muttered, as Jon let go of her and walked to the door. She crossed her arms over her chest.
Lo and behold, Renee stood in the doorway. She smiled at Jon. "Hey. I was wondering if you wanted to go get a beer or something and hang out," she invited him, as if there was no tension or awkwardness between them. Al rolled her eyes at her, but Renee didn't see it, considering that Al was out of Renee's range of vision.
"Sorry. I can't," he simply replied. His voice was firm.
She furrowed her brow. "Oh…why not?"
"Because I'm tired. I have a really long day tomorrow and have to be up early. And quite frankly, I'm so sick of your shit," he replied, clearly frustrated with her.
"My shit? What the hell are you talking about? I haven't done anything," she defensively shot back.
"You seem to have some kind of problem with Al, which is funny considering how much you liked her before she came on the road with me," he retorted.
"Yeah, well, it's also funny how you couldn't stand her before you met her. You called her pathetic and said she's train wreck. And suddenly, out of nowhere, you're acting like a love sick puppy over her. You don't hang out with me because you're too busy hanging around with that junkie whore," Renee spitefully retaliated.
"I think you need to go now."
"I'm not going anywhere," she insisted, standing her ground.
"Well, you've done nothing but act like a jealous psychopath because Al is with me now. I don't know why you're acting like we were dating or something."
Renee glared at him. "You ditched me for the first piece of ass that glanced in your direction," she spoke, clearly angry.
"No. I never led you to believe that you were anything more than just a friend of mine. I told you the situation with Al coming on the road with me because Phil wanted her to be away from the bad influences in her life. Ever since then, you've acted like some psychotic ex-girlfriend. And I know that you came to my locker room last night. I know what you said to Al. You had no right to pull that bullshit with her."
"Oh? What I said? Do you even know what she said to me?" Renee yelled. "She made it sound like you two are sleeping together."
Jon rolled her eyes. "Because…what a surprise…you acted like a psychopath…again. You got back exactly what you dished out to her. And you think I should be mad at Al? Not in the least. Al didn't go to you looking for a fight. You went to my locker room, knowing that I wasn't in there because I was in the middle of a match, and attacked her over me. And considering that we were never anything more than friends, that makes you the problem here. You have no right to act like that. And you sure as hell have no right to be nasty to Al."
"Are you seriously kidding me right now?" she asked in disbelief. "You were my friend. We hung out all of the time. And you dropped me for her like it was no big deal. We had something, and you can try to deny it, but we did."
"You're absolutely right. We had something—a platonic friendship. And if being my friend meant anything to you, you would respect my friend Al, and you would respect me. But you won't do either."
"Because you picked her over me."
"Do you understand that we were never anything more than friends?" he questioned her, in disbelief that she wasn't understanding his point.
Renee's eyes burned into him. "You know that there was something more than that between us."
"Renee, you're wrong. We were just friends. It never would have been any more than that between us." He could see that she was trying to fight the tears that were welling up in her eyes. "You're a really great person to be friends with. And you'll be a great girlfriend to a very lucky guy one day, but that guy isn't me," he told her, his voice was firm, though he wasn't being mean about it. He just didn't want her to find a way to misconstrue what he was saying.
"But for her?" she questioned.
"Why do you keep assuming that there's something going on between Al and me?" he asked her.
"Because it's so obvious. You're the hot commodity here. She's the celebrity that you spend every waking hour with. You can try to convince me that there's nothing going on between the two of you, but I know that there is. Besides, the way you two drool over each other is nauseating," she shot back.
Jon rolled his eyes. "Renee, I have to get to bed. I'm exhausted, and I have a lot to do tomorrow," he told her.
"Fine," the blonde relented. "But trust me, I'm sure as hell not gonna let you pick that mess over me."
"Sure," he brushed her off.
"Goodnight."
"Yeah. Goodnight." With that, Jon shut the door, relieved to finally have gotten rid of her. He turned to Al, who was sitting on the edge of one of the two beds in the room. She looked a little upset. "I'm really sorry about that," he apologized, sitting next to her. She shrugged.
"It's not a big deal. Really."
"What's wrong?" he asked her, noticing her demeanor.
"Jon…you're seriously great. You're the whole package. You're really hot. You can be so sweet to me. You have an awesome job that you love. You're so much fun to be with and be around. You make me feel like I'm special. You're awesome in bed. There's so many wonderful things about you that make me like you…a lot. But…I'm not right for you. You shouldn't be with me. You should be with someone like Renee. And she may have acted pretty crazy since I've been here, but it's because she's hurt. She just cares about you."
"I don't feel that spark with her. I feel it with you," he argued.
"We can't do this anymore," Al told him, staring at the floor. It hurt her to have to say that to him. Truth be told, as hesitant as she was to take things to the next step with him, Al liked what she shared with Jon. But she just felt so awful for Renee. And she felt like she was to blame for it. And that wasn't why she had come out on the road, in the first place.
"Listen, I didn't plan on any of this happening between us. I've been focusing on my career for the last few years. I never had any intentions of getting involved with anyone because I wanted to give my career everything that I had to offer. The only real relationship I've had is being a Superstar since the day that I got here. Then, one day, you walked into my life…and…I don't know. You make me feel so different. I know that I can treat you right. I can make you happier than you've ever been in your life. I can take care of you. I won't hurt you. I won't ever turn my back on you, Al," he told her. "I just need you to give me that one chance, and I can show you."
"Renee doesn't deserve to be hurt…even if she is a raging bitch to me. She acts like a psychopath because her feelings are hurt really badly. She's just sad, and that's how she acts out when she feels like she has no control. She gets mad at me because I'm the easiest one for her to blame," Al said.
"Regardless if you came here or not, I would have never been with her like that. I don't and never had those kinds of feelings for her," Jon insisted.
"But it hurts her to have to see us together every single day when she goes to work…even if she doesn't see us making out. We remind her of what she can't have."
"So because she's unhappy, we shouldn't be together?" he questioned.
"We both know that I didn't come here to fuck you or be in a relationship with you or anything like that. I'm here to be able to learn how to live without a needle in my arm or cocaine up my nose. That's supposed to be my focus right now. Not starting up a new relationship that I'll end up fucking up anyway in a few months."
"You can't do this. Al, you know that I'm serious about us. You know that I'm not fucking around with you. I care about you so much…so much. This isn't just some joke or some stupid little teenage crush or some fling or booty call. You know that I'm not just trying to bang you without any strings attached. I want there to be strings attached. I've been begging for there to be strings attached," he told her. She could see the sincerity in his eyes.
Al looked over at him and gave him a small smile. "I know, Jon," she softly said. "Trust me, I know."
"Come on. Please don't do this," he practically begged her.
"Okay. So, what happens in two months, when I go back home?" she asked him.
"We can still see each other. Hell, you can even stay on the road with me. I don't care what it takes. I'll do it. Because you're that special to me. We're so good together. We're perfect for each other. I want us to see where this goes. I want us to make this work. We can figure all of the details out."
Al turned her body to face him. She brought a hand onto his face. "Jon, if circumstances were different, we might actually have a shot at making this work. But…I don't think we should be doing this. It'll only distract us from what we're supposed to be doing."
"That's seriously what you want?" he asked, actually feeling hurt.
"No. But…we aren't supposed to be doing this. You know that. Quite frankly, when you realized who I was, you wanted no part of me. And it should have stayed that way. We weren't ever supposed to do this."
"I don't care what we were supposed to do. We're both supposed to be happy. We're supposed to stick together because we have something so great here. It has been so long since I've found someone who made me happy…so happy…so ready to put someone else ahead of myself. Actually, to be honest, I haven't ever felt this strongly about being with someone in my life. We make me happy. When I'm with you, I don't want to be anywhere else in the world. That means something. That matters."
"It means a lot, and it matters to me…very much so."
"So, why are you doing this to me?"
"Because we're opening ourselves up to a whole lot of problems, and neither of us need that right now."
"Seriously?"
"Jon…"
"Fine. You don't want to do this anymore? Fine. It's over, Al. You win. Sorry to have burdened you with giving a shit and wanting to take care of you," he spitefully spat at her. He stood up from the bed and quickly stripped himself of his clothes, remaining in his boxers. He got into his bed, facing away from Al.
Al was frowning and felt overwhelmingly sad. She didn't want to upset him. But she knew that the current state of things could only hurt the both of them. She knew she was terrible when it came to this kind of stuff. And Jon was one-hundred percent devoted to his career. He didn't need any distractions. She was sure that she made the right decision. But she wasn't sure why doing the right thing made her feel so awful.
Looking over at Jon…well…Jon's back, Al felt terrible for the current situation. She had never intended on hurting him. She found that all she wanted to be doing in that moment was laying in his arms. That made her feel whole, though she wouldn't actually admit that to anyone. Al knew that she needed to distance herself from him. Things between them were moving so fast. Al couldn't focus her attention on both Jon and cleaning up her life. At least not at this point in her recovery. She needed time to readjust to her life and get to a much more stable place before she could even consider being with Jon. Not that she wanted that to be the case. She couldn't help but feel so sad about what had just transpired between the two.
Jon, on the other hand, was incredibly hurt. He cared about Al more than he ever thought he would. He wanted nothing more than to be with her. He was sorry that being with her was hurting Renee, but he certainly wasn't sorry for the feelings that he had developed for her since they'd met. The fact of the matter was that he cared about her a lot. And he didn't give the slightest care about all of the bullshit that she was letting get to her. Things between them had progressed quite quickly. He couldn't deny that, and he believed that that was a fair enough reason for her to pull back and be hesitant. But Renee was not a reason. She was a friend…well…former friend. Jon had no interest in being with her.
He didn't think this would make him feel so sad. He just wanted to be with Al. She made him feel so much differently than anyone else ever had, as odd as that may have been, considering how uninterested he was in her at first. But once he got to know her, Jon realized that they had actually had more in common than he'd expected. He found himself hooked on her. It had been completely unexpected, but since he first found himself turned on by her, his feelings had only grown. The closer they became, the deeper in this he was.
To be rejected by Al felt like someone had punched him in the stomach. He didn't think that he would feel so hurt and take it so personally and so hard. But he was crushed by her words. He never wanted this to happen. However, he found himself to be completely crazy about her. Jon wanted so badly for them to make this work. But apparently, that was no longer an option that he had. He was unsure of how they'd be able to make their arrangement work because this would certainly complicate things.