"Are you ever going to tell me what happened to your shoulder?" Carrie asked, biting her lip as she slowly peeled the bandages back from Jax's shoulder. Jax looked down at his shoulder before stretching it out.
"Think I'll be good to ride today," he said, ignoring her question and Carrie sighed. She'd been up in Vancouver for several days, waiting for Jax's arm to heal well enough to get back to Charming and they still had yet to have a real conversation. It seemed as if Jax was perfectly happy to ignore the issues between them and Carrie was getting frustrated.
"Jax…" Carrie said, her voice trailing off as she silently asked him to answer her question. He looked at her and sighed, placing his hands on her hips and pulling her close to him.
"Bullet grazed my shoulder," he told her, "That's all." She tried to resist rolling her eyes at his vague response but was unsuccessful.
"Why were people shooting at you?" she prompted. He stared down at her for several moments, his lips pursed as if deciding how much to tell her.
"Because we were trying to kill them," he finally responded. Carrie sucked in her breath but managed to maintain both her calm demeanor and her eye contact with Jax.
"The Tritans?" she asked. Jax nodded, "Did you?"
He nodded again, his eyes searching her face as if waiting for her reaction. She kept her face impassive, trying not to process what he was telling her just yet. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't glad the Tritans were dead, but knowing the man you loved was capable of taking a life was not a piece of information easily dealt with. She also wasn't naïve enough to think that this was the first time Jax had killed, and a part of her wished they could go back to her living in blissful ignorance where she could pretend like this wasn't a part of their lives. But if their relationship had any hope of moving forward, it had to be all or nothing.
"What about Iceman?" she finally asked.
"Iceman came through for us in the end," Jax said, "He earned his patch back but he's not VP of SAMVAN anymore." Carrie nodded, deciding that was enough revelations for one day.
"We still need to talk," she said after several moments. He smirked at her, his hands moving from her hips to her back.
"We are talking," he said. Carrie cocked her head, looking up at him.
"You know what I mean," she said. Jax sighed but his expression was amused when he returned his gaze to her.
"I'm not getting out of this, am I?" he asked. Carrie shook her head, "We'll talk when we're back in Charming."
"Why wait?" she asked. His grin faltered as he looked down at her and he shrugged his shoulders slightly.
"It's a long drive back to Charming and I don't know which way that conversation's gonna go," he finally said. Carrie paused, deciding whether or not to argue, but nodded.
"Yeah, okay," she said, "When are we leaving?"
"Hour or so. Go pack your shit in Gemma's car but I want you to ride back with me," he said, pausing before he added, "If you want." Carrie smiled and nodded, standing on her tip toes to kiss him lightly on the lips.
"I want," she whispered.
SOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOA
The drive back to Charming was a long one and Jax wasn't sure if they'd be able to make it back in one day. He almost wanted to stay the night somewhere just to put off getting back to Charming and having the conversation with Carrie he was dreading. It was true when he said he didn't know which way that conversation was going to go; he and Carrie seemed to be at an impasse in their relationship – neither one willing to back down from their stance. If Carrie couldn't find some way to come around, it would be the end of their relationship and Jax wanted to put that off for as long as possible.
He smiled as he felt her arms tighten around his waist as she rested her head on his back. There were few things he enjoyed more than taking her on a ride, feeling her pressed up against him, surrendering all control while the wind whipped around them. The knowledge that this could be the last time he felt that gnawed at him, forcing him to appreciate the time he had left.
They rode all day and into the night, stopping only for gas and to eat, and it was after midnight by the time Jax pulled into their driveway. He kicked off the bike, stretching out his sore muscles before helping Carrie off. She looked exhausted and stiff, unused to the long rides, and they made their way into the house.
Jax hesitated in the doorway leaning against the frame, unsure if Carrie wanted him to stay or not. She glanced over her shoulder at him when she realized he wasn't following her and locked eyes with him.
"You coming?" she finally asked. He smiled softly at her as he pushed himself off the doorframe, closing and locking the door behind him. He followed her into the bedroom, watching as she quickly got ready for bed and climbed in. He did the same, pulling her close to him, feeling her breathing lightly against his chest. He knew he loved her more than anyone in the world and that she felt the same. This was the first time he'd doubted if that would be enough.
SOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOA
Jax woke slowly the next morning, instinctively reaching his arm across the bed and finding it empty. He opened his eyes slowly, wincing slightly at the sunlight pouring in through the blinds. He frowned as his eyes fell upon Carrie's unoccupied side of the bed until the smell of coffee reached him and he slowly made his way out of bed. He walked down the hall into the living room to find Carrie there tying on sneakers and throwing her hair up into a ponytail. She turned as she heard him walk up.
"Oh, you're awake," she said, "Coffee's ready if you want any." Jax nodded, walking into the kitchen and grabbing a mug, filling it from the pot on the counter.
"Where are you going?" he asked as he walked back into the living room.
"I was gonna go see Donna," she said, "Her and Opie met with Rosen yesterday. I wanted to see how it went." Jax nodded, taking a sip of the coffee and feeling himself begin to wake up.
"If you can wait a few minutes I'll go with you," he offered. Carrie nodded, giving him a small smile.
"That'd be great," she said. Jax nodded, setting the half-empty mug on the counter before walking back into the bedroom. He showered quickly and got dressed, pulling on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. He slipped his cut on and grabbed his keys before walking back out.
"Ready?" he asked and Carrie nodded, following him outside to his bike.
They pulled up to Opie and Donna's house several minutes later and walked up to the door, knocking lightly. Donna opened the door, her eyes puffy and red and she hastily wiped her tears away as she gave them a small smile.
"Hey guys," she said, her voice shaking slightly as she stepped back to allow them to come inside.
"Where's Opie?" Carrie asked as they walked into the living room.
"He took the kids to get breakfast," she said as the three sat in the living room, "I didn't feel up to going. They should be back soon." Carrie nodded, looking sympathetically back at her friend.
"Well how'd it go yesterday?" she asked. Donna's lip began trembling as she hastily grabbed several tissues from a box on the end table. She shook her head as tears began pouring down her face. Carrie reached over, pulling Donna into a hug and Jax watched as Donna's body shuddered, her small hands clutching the back of Carrie's shirt. Few things in this world made him uncomfortable. Watching his best friend's wife cry over his fate was one of them.
"He said the minimum Opie will probably have to serve is 5 years," Donna said as she pulled away from Carrie, wiping her nose with a tissue as she took deep breaths, "But if the DA can prove there was anyone inside the building, he could get 20 for attempted murder. Opie says there wasn't anybody inside, but…" Carrie nodded reassuringly.
"See? Then they won't be able to prove that," she said. Donna nodded, tears still pouring silently down her cheeks.
"But even 5 years, Carrie…" she said quietly, "How am I supposed to manage that by myself?"
"The club'll take care of you financially, Donna," Jax said, hoping to appease some of her fears, "And Gemma can help with the kids. Don't worry about that."
"I don't want anything from the club!" Donna yelled at him, "The club is why he's in this stupid mess to begin with. The club is why we were attacked and the club is the reason my kids won't have a father for at least 5 years." Jax raised his eyebrows in surprise, glancing at Carrie. She tilted her head, looking at him curiously before turning back to Donna.
"And the whole thing was so stupid," Donna continued, her voice much quieter and full of regret, "I'm going to have to live without Opie for half a decade, all because he wanted revenge. It didn't have to be like this."
Jax looked between Donna's tortured face and Carrie, realization dawning upon him. Before he could respond, the front door opened and Ellie and Kenny ran inside, Opie following close behind. Jax stood, relieved to be able to get away from the girls for a few minutes as he walked towards Opie.
"Mommy!" Kenny shrieked as he ran towards Donna, lunging at her. She smiled, wrapping her arms around him and kissing the top of his head.
"Come on, Kenny, let's go play outside," Opie said. Kenny nodded, releasing himself from Donna's grasp as Kenny and Ellie ran outside, Jax and Opie following. They took a seat on the porch as the kids ran around the back yard and Jax pulled out his pack of cigarettes, offering one to Opie before lighting his own.
"How'd it go in Vancouver?" Opie asked, "Heard you got shot."
"Nah, bullet barely grazed me," Jax responded, "It's over, brother." Opie nodded, turning his eyes back to Kenny and Ellie who were running circles around the shed.
"Good," Opie said, taking a slow drag off his cigarette.
"Heard about your meet with Rosen," Jax said. Opie nodded, frowning.
"Shit sucks, man," he said, "I'm worried about Donna."
Jax nodded as he realized he'd never given much thought to how situations like this would affect their families. His mother had always bore the burden so well, at least as far as she'd ever let him see. His father had done a stint when Jax was young and he'd never so much as seen Gemma shed a tear over it.
He thought back to when he had been sentenced. He'd been so angry that Carrie hadn't been able to be there for him, he never stopped to be there for her. Never stopped to think what it meant to her when he told her he'd be going away for a long time. And now here he was, doing it again.
"So what's going on with you and Carrie?" Opie asked, "You back together or what?" Jax snorted, shaking his head.
"What, did everyone hear about that?" he asked, "You guys gossip more than high school girls." Opie chuckled, nodding.
"Yeah, word got around," he replied.
"I don't know, man," Jax said, sighing, "She wants to talk." Opie groaned in commiseration, nodding.
"Good luck with that," he said and Jax nodded, flicking his cigarette to the ground. He didn't want to admit to Opie how terrified he was of talking to Carrie about their fight; how terrified he was that it would lead to him losing her again.
"Kyle dropped his cut off at the clubhouse while we were all gone," Jax said in an attempt to change the subject, eyeing Opie for his reaction. Opie's lips formed a thin line, the corners turned down in a slight frown.
"I wanted to kill him," he said after several silent moments.
"I don't blame you," Jax responded. Part of Jax wanted to kill Kyle, too. Opie watched Ellie and Kenny laughing and running around before turning to look at Jax.
"He's got kids," he finally said and Jax nodded in understanding, "But he ever shows his face in Charming again…" Opie said, his voice trailing off.
"I'll put a fucking bullet in his brain," Jax said loyally.
"You gotta promise you'll take care of Donna while I'm gone," Opie told him, "She's pissed and says she doesn't want the help, but she's gonna need it."
"'Course," Jax said. The backdoor opened just then and Carrie poked her head out, smiling as he turned around to look at her.
"You ready?" she asked, looking between him and Opie. Jax nodded as he and Opie stood, following Carrie back inside.
SOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOA
Jax drove through the hills of Northern California, the wind whipping through his hair as he rode aimlessly, no destination in mind. The visit with Donna and Opie had given Jax a lot to think about and afterwards he'd dropped Carrie off at the house, telling her he needed to go for a ride and would be back later. As he rode, the thoughts that had been trickling into his head all afternoon now washed over him completely.
He'd never realized how much he'd been asking of Carrie – how much it really took to be an Old Lady. He'd made the decision that his life could only go one way and if Carrie couldn't live with that, then they couldn't be together. But over the last several months, Jax had unknowingly discovered that he couldn't live without Carrie; at least, not happily. Carrie had worked so hard to learn to accept the club as part of Jax and when she asked for a simple compromise, he hadn't even been willing to listen. He'd dismissed her, thinking her request was asking too much, when all she wanted was for him to stay safe. To not end up dead or in jail like Opie now was.
He finally turned his bike around, not wanting to get back home too late. He sped past the Welcome to Charming sign and through the mostly empty streets of the small town before pulling into her driveway, thankful to see the light in the living room was still on. He suddenly didn't want to put this off anymore.
Carrie sat on the couch, her legs tucked under her as she read a book. She glanced up when he walked in, giving him a small and slightly nervous smile.
"Where'd you go?" she asked. Jax shook his head, running a hand through his hair as he took a spot next to her on the couch.
"Just rode around for a while," he told her, "I had a lot to think about."
"Yeah?" Carrie asked, tilting her head as she ear-marked the page in her book and set it on the end table, "Like what?"
"Like Donna," he replied. Carrie's eyebrows rose as she looked at Jax, slightly amused.
"You had to ride around for hours thinking about Donna?" she asked. Jax chuckled lightly, nodding.
"Yeah. Thinking about how devastated she was about Opie going to jail," he said, his grin fading. He reached over to take Carrie's hand in his. She smiled sadly, looking down at their hands – his gripping hers protectively, their fingers intertwined.
"I never want to do that to you," Jax continued and Carrie raised her eyes to look into his.
"I don't know what I'd do, Jax," she said quietly, "If I was in her situation. It terrifies me." Jax nodded, his thumb running lightly over her hand.
"I don't think I really got that until today," he said. Carrie nodded, continuing to look across at him, waiting for him to continue.
"I can't promise you that I'll never get hurt or go to jail," Jax finally said, "And if that's what you need from me, I can never give you that." Carrie nodded, remaining silent as she wondered where he was going with this, "But I can promise you that I won't be reckless about it. I know it's not just me I'm living for anymore – it's you, too." Carrie smiled, trying to keep her tears at bay, thankful that this time they were due to happiness.
"That's all I want, Jax," she said, "I had to live without you for four years. I never want to do that again; especially not if it could've been avoided." Jax nodded, pulling her towards him so she was resting her head against his chest.
"I know, and I'll try to make sure that never happens," he said softly, running his hands through her hair. She smiled, tilting her head up to look at him.
"I love you," she said. He kissed her softly, relieved they'd managed to make it through this hurdle.
SOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOA
The next few months went by quickly and quietly. With the Tritans out of the picture, Charming had once again become a safe and peaceful place, but Carrie found she couldn't fully enjoy it while Donna was so miserable. On Rosen's recommendation, Opie pleaded guilty in return for a 5 year sentence and the day that he would have to turn himself in was looming ever nearer.
Carrie only saw Donna at the day care these days as she was trying to spend as much time with her family as she could before Opie went away. She always tried to put on a happy face and a smile at work, but Carrie could see the sadness in her eyes and wished there was something she could do to make the situation better. But she knew from personal experience that the only thing that would make it better would be Opie getting a pardon, and there was nothing Carrie could do about that.
Carrie walked into the day care one Friday morning, ready for the weekend to get started. Jax didn't have to work or have any duties for the club, so as soon as church was over that evening she was planning on spending every second of the weekend with him. She glanced up as she walked past the reception desk to see Donna already there. She smiled at her and was slightly taken aback when Donna smiled brightly back at her.
"Morning, Carrie!" she said, looking as if she was struggling to keep her grin from stretching across her entire face.
"Morning," Carrie said, grinning back at her, "What's with you?" Donna shrugged, shaking her head.
"What? Why? Nothing," she said, her lips growing tighter as she continued to struggle to conceal her grin. Carrie set her purse on the counter as she looked across at Donna, her eyes narrowing.
"Alright, I know you've got a secret," Carrie said, "Spill it." Donna shook her head.
"I don't have a secret. I'm just in a good mood," she insisted. Carrie sighed, not wanting to spoil it if it were actually true.
"Oh," she said, "Well, good." Donna nodded as she watched Carrie walk back to her office.
After spending the morning running around from classroom to classroom, dealing with issues ranging from sick kids to snack shortages, she finally walked back into her office, closing the door behind her and collapsed in her chair, hoping no one would bother her for a while. Her cell phone rang as soon as her ass hit the chair and she sighed, praying it was Jax. She didn't want to talk to anyone else at the moment. Checking the caller ID, she smiled to see that it was him and flipped the phone open, pressing it against her ear.
"If you're calling to say you've got to work this weekend or go on a last minute run or something, hang up now. I can't take any bad news right now," Carrie said. Jax chuckled.
"Rough morning?" he asked.
"Just busy," she replied.
"Well I'm not working this weekend or going on any runs, so don't worry. It's you and me all weekend. Preferably naked," he said. She rolled her eyes, laughing.
"Good. What can I do for you, then?" she asked.
"We're havin' church earlier today than usual so I wanted to pick you up when you get off work. Take you for a little ride, maybe dinner or something," he said. Carrie grinned to herself, biting her lip.
"Really?" she asked excitedly, "That sounds great."
"Great, see you at 5 then," he said before hanging up the phone.
SOASOASOASOASOASOASOASOA
Carrie attempted to keep herself busy that afternoon in hopes that that would make time go by faster, but unfortunately, after such an eventful morning, all was quiet that afternoon. She had a few appointments for tours of the facility that didn't take nearly as long as she'd hoped and found herself sitting in her office with several hours still to go. She went over financial records and ordered supplies that they were low on, glancing at the clock every few minutes and lamenting the slow passage of time.
Finally 5 o'clock rolled around and like clockwork, she heard the familiar roar of a motorcycle pulling into the lot. She grabbed her bag and ran out of the office, almost forgetting to lock her office door before doubling back and fumbling with her keys, hurriedly locking it before turning back. Donna was standing behind the reception desk, gathering her things together, and glanced up as Carrie walked by.
"You heading out?" Donna asked and Carrie nodded, stopping to wait and walk out with Donna. Donna waved to Jax, who was sitting on his bike waiting for Carrie.
"I'll see you guys later!" Donna shouted and Carrie waved before kissing Jax hello. He handed her a helmet and she put it on before sliding behind him.
"So where are we going?" she asked as she wrapped her arms tightly around his waist.
"I gotta pick something up at the clubhouse and then it's a surprise," he said, his head turned halfway towards her as he backed the bike out of the spot. Carrie grinned and spent the short ride to the clubhouse wondering what surprise could be in store.
They pulled into Teller-Morrow and Carrie followed Jax off the bike, looking around at the unusually empty lot. Usually by this time on a Friday the place was crawling with croweaters and hang-arounds.
"Where is everyone?" she asked, slipping her hand into Jax's. He shrugged nonchalantly.
"Must be inside," he said off handedly. He led her to the picnic table just outside the door to the clubhouse and stopped turning to look at her. He smiled softly down at her, pulling her close to him. He leaned down and kissed her softly and she smiled, looking up at him curiously.
"I love you, Carrie," he said and her smile widened.
"I love you, too," she said. He paused, looking down at her as though trying to collect his thoughts. She glanced down as he took a hand and dug in his pocket, looking at her with a tight-lipped, excited grin before lifting his hand up and she gasped as she saw what he was holding: a beautiful diamond ring. Her eyes returned to his and she stared at him, her jaw dropping slowly as he continued to gaze down at her.
"I've loved you since I was 18," he continued as Carrie's heart thudded loudly in her chest, the blood rushing through her head, "And I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
Trembling, Carrie reached out and took the ring from his hand, clasping it gingerly in her fingers.
"Jax…" she said, unable to form a coherent though. Still smiling, he ran a hand through her hair, clasping the back of her head.
"I want us to get married," he said, and Carrie felt her knees buckle slightly. He caught her, holding her up and she looked up at him, shock and awe stretched across her face.
"You do?" she finally whispered and he nodded, starting to look worried.
"Yes, I do," he said, "Will you marry me?" Carrie glanced down at the ring in her hand, glistening even in the dim evening sun, before looking back up at him.
"Yes," she said, a smile stretching across her face as a laugh escaped from her lips, "Yes! Of course I'll marry you!" Jax's face broke out in a broad grin and he grabbed her around the waist, spinning her around. He finally set her down, clasping her face in his hands as he leaned down to kiss her deeply. She wrapped her arms around his neck, careful to keep the ring firmly clasped in her fist, until they finally pulled apart. He took the ring out of her hand and she looked down, her heart racing in excitement as she watched him slide it onto her finger.
"I love you, Jackson," she whispered, holding her hand out in front of her as she gazed at the ring. He smiled, taking her hand in his as he led her through the door of the clubhouse. She trailed behind him, still staring at the ring on her hand until he stopped in the entryway. She finally glanced up to see the clubhouse full of people quietly staring at them.
"We're getting married!" Jax announced and the room erupted in congratulations. Carrie glanced around the room smiling broadly, finally registering that the room full of people did not consist of the usual hang-arounds and croweaters. The sons were all there, but so was Donna and all of her friends from the day care. Gemma strode briskly to them, her arms outstretched as she hugged and kissed them both.
"Welcome to the family, baby," she said to Carrie, holding her face in her hands before kissing her lightly on the forehead.
"Thanks, Gemma," Carrie said, still overwhelmed by the whole thing. Donna bounced up and threw her arms around Carrie, Opie following close behind her and shaking Jax's hands.
"Congratulations!" Donna squealed and Carrie laughed before her grin faded and she looked curiously at Donna.
"You knew, didn't you?" she asked accusingly. Donna shrugged, grinning and flicking her eyes towards Jax.
"Yeah, Jax told us he was going to ask you, wanted me to get your friends together so we could all celebrate after you said yes," she said. Carrie looked over at Jax, who shrugged sheepishly.
"What if I had said no?" she asked. He grinned.
"I'm a gambler," he replied. She laughed, shaking her head as her eyes scanned the crowd behind Donna. They finally stopped on a pair of faces looking extremely out of place; the last people in the world she expected to be here.
"My parents?" she asked, looking over at Jax, "You told my parents?" He smiled, nodding and Carrie tore herself away from Jax to walk up to them. Her mother embraced her, in tears that Carrie hoped were of joy.
"What are you guys doing here?" she blurted, so surprised to see them she couldn't stop herself.
"Jax came by the house the other day," Helen said, "We all talked for quite a while. He told us what he was planning and said it would mean a lot to him if we came." Carrie smiled, hugging her again.
"Thanks, mom," she said softly, "It does mean a lot. I can't believe you're here."
"I think we've all known for a long time that you'd end up with Jax," Helen said, glancing over at her dad, "And though he's still not someone I would've handpicked for you, I know how much you love each other and how happy he makes you, and really, a mother can't ask for much more than that." Carrie smiled again, feeling tears brim her eyes. She glanced at her dad, who was smiling down at her.
"Congratulations, sweetheart," he said, hugging her and kissing her on the cheek.
"Thanks, dad," she said, tears flowing freely down her cheeks.
"What about Chris?" Carrie asked as she pulled away from George, "Does he know?" Her mom nodded, glancing around the room.
"He knows. Had a long talk with Jax that night, too," she said, "He's here somewhere." Carrie looked around, finally spotting her brother standing next to her friends from the day care: Leia, Lindsay, and Jenn.
"I'm gonna go say hi. Are you guys sticking around?" Carrie asked. Helen and George shook their heads.
"No, I think we'll head off pretty soon," Helen said, "We just wanted to be here to congratulate you." Carrie hugged her once more.
"I'm so glad you came," she said before pulling apart, watching them walk towards the doors. They paused in front of Jax and she smiled as she watched her dad shake his hand and her mom give him a small kiss and patted him on the cheek before Carrie walked over to her brother.
"Congratulations!" Chris bellowed as he spotted her walking towards him. He ran up to her, wrapping his arms around her.
"So I take it you're not mad at Jax anymore?" Carrie asked tentatively. She watched as his eyes darted across the room to Jax before returning to hers. He shook his head.
"Nah, we talked things out," he said, "I just freaked out when you got hurt; I know it wasn't entirely his fault." Carrie laughed, slapping him playfully on the shoulder.
"I love you, you know," he continued. She grinned.
"Aw, I love you, too Buggy," she said. He rolled his eyes and she laughed, hugging him.
Carrie spent the rest of the party grinning from ear to ear, floating around to talk to her friends and get congratulated by each and every son who were always in favor of a reason to celebrate. After a couple of hours, however, she knew all she wanted was for Jax to take her home so they could celebrate together. She sidled up to where he stood talking to Opie and Juice and wrapped her arms around his waist, leaning her head against his shoulder. He slung his arm lazily around her shoulder before looking down at her.
"Take me home," she said, her eyes sparkling with want. He grinned, kissing her.
"You got it, darlin'," he said. He threw up his hand in a wave good bye before leading Carrie out of the clubhouse, into the brisk night air.
A/N - First off, lots and lots of apologies for the late update. I drove about 1000 miles this holiday season visiting my family and just didn't have the time. The good news is, I realized while writing it that we will need another chapter, so there will be one more chapter of Unfinished that I hope to have posted on or before Sunday (but no promises there).
And then me and my co-writer/maker-of-all-good-ideas (afspouse) are finally reuniting on Sunday and will be together for the whole rest of the month where we will be cranking out the New Start revamp which is already looking like it's going to be the greatest thing we've ever written, so that's fun. It'll be posted on this profile so make sure you sign up for author alerts if you want to know as soon as that's posted. It's going to be awesome!