A/N: This chapter was written well before JKR revealed the names of James' parents, not that it matters much since they're only names, but just thought I'd put that out there. You can call them Fleamont and Euphemia in your head if you prefer! ;) 10/24/15
FYI: Simnel cake is a traditional British Easter fruit cake with marzipan inside and on top.
Please review!
Dumbledore, McGonagall, and the authorities questioned everyone extensively throughout the following week. Luckily, Frank was assigned to the case along with Dorcas Meadowes, so the students involved were privy to more information than they should have been. Once the other schools where Jaeger had taught were notified of the charges against him, young women from all over came forward with accusations of sexual harassment, no longer afraid of Jaeger's retribution since they realised they weren't alone. With the evidence stacked against him, including attempted murder and endless witnesses testifying against him, Jaeger didn't stand a chance. Justice moved swiftly in the wizarding world, and the day they were to leave for Easter break, the Daily Prophet reported that the Wizengamot had sentenced him to life in Azkaban, if he could survive the conditions that long.
It also appeared that their secret transgressions stayed secret. Frank told Alice that Jaeger had been unconscious when the authorities arrived at St. Mungo's, and when he awoke he began babbling something about a dog. They took him into custody, and anything he rattled off after that was disregarded as lunacy. Dumbledore and McGonagall didn't see him again until his trial, and by then, he was under strict orders by his legal representative to keep his gob shut.
Annabelle was relieved that Jaeger was put away where he couldn't harm anyone else, but when she thought of the terrible Dementors, it made her glad her mum was a squib, and that she committed her drug crimes in muggle society. Sure, prison had been rough on her, but at least she'd come out with her soul intact. Annabelle had seen signs of it flourishing underneath her self-loathing and scars. It was the part of Colleen that Annabelle wanted to remember.
And just like that, her mother took over her thoughts. When Colleen resurfaced clean and sober, Annabelle had gotten it into her head that for once she'd get to spend Easter with her very own mother, instead of at the Evans' home feeling like a charity case. She always felt welcome there, except when Petunia was around, but there was no point in denying that she was only going home with Lily because she had no family of her own to go to. Sirius had offered to stay behind at the castle with her. He knew how affected by her mother she still was, but as appealing as his offer was, Lily's parents were expecting her, and James' parents were expecting Sirius.
The good news was that Petunia would be spending the holiday with Vernon's family. The other good news was that the Saturday before Easter was Johnny B.'s birthday, so there were plans for London in the works, as well as plans to put on a real magic show for Matthew. Lily and Annabelle hoped that Lily's parents would let them go to London without supervision, considering it was for a friend's birthday. After all, Lily was seventeen, and Annabelle would be in a matter of months, but they still had to formulate a plan just in case it was a no. It was almost enough to keep Annabelle's mind off her mum, but not quite.
The morning before they left, Dumbledore called Annabelle into his office. He'd already spoken to her about what happened with Professor Jaeger during the investigation, even congratulating her for her bravery in attempting to duel the man by herself. As though she'd had a choice. She sat down opposite him, accepted his offer of a lemon drop despite finding lemon to be the worst fruit flavour of any and all sweets. After formalities were exchanged, Dumbledore got right to the point.
"Mr. Black kindly informed me that you needed time to come to terms with what occurred with your mother, and I took that to mean he wanted me to leave you be. So I did, and now that some time has passed, I hope you're ready to hear what I have to say."
She felt like telling him no, she didn't need to hear anything more about the matter. Why did he feel obligated to talk with her about it? But she found herself nodding along anyway. He wandered over to the window and looked out as he spoke.
"It may have seemed like a whim to you, but I thought long and hard before allowing you contact with Colleen O'Neill. I'd seen enough heartache brought on by her addiction whilst your grandparents were alive, and it didn't seem fair to make you suffer the same agony they endured with her for many years. But she begged me, Annabelle, and all I could see was the child I once knew… a beautiful, clever, precocious child; the light of her parents' lives. I'm afraid all reasonable thought went out the window."
Annabelle felt the grief swelling inside her again, but she kept a stony expression, urging herself not to breakdown as Dumbledore continued.
"And I felt that her previous hardships shouldn't be used to punish her, for who are any of us to cast judgement? Maybe having a relationship with her daughter, now that you are a bit older, was the incentive she needed to finally overcome her vices, or so I'd hoped." Dumbledore shook his head, his eyes misty. "It seems I was wrong, and for that I am quite sorry."
She stared at the front of his desk and replied, her voice dull in an effort to keep the pain at bay. "Maybe I didn't do enough, or handle it in the right way. Maybe she needed more from me somehow."
"Now I don't want you to blame yourself," he said, sitting down in the chair beside her. "It won't change anything, I know that from watching your grandfather condemn himself over and over again through the years. The truth is, there are many things in life that are simply out of our control. And it hurts because we want – and believe we need – things to go according to our desires. My advice to you is to step back, and view the situation from the perspective of an outsider. Put one of your friends in your place. Would you blame them for what happened?"
Annabelle imagined Lily or Alice going through what she had and she shook her head. "No."
"Then you mustn't hold yourself to unattainable standards either. You don't have the power to cure addiction any more than the next person. Remember that, Annabelle. Your grandfather wanted better for you. He didn't want you taking on your mother's troubles and falling into the cycle of desperation and disappointment. Especially when you did all you could possibly do. You believed in her, encouraged her, and gave her a reason to fight. The rest - the hard, painful work- is up to her."
Numbness bled through Annabelle, cancelling out the sorrow of before. Maybe it was a defence mechanism triggering, a way to ward off the sad truth of what her grandparents went through with their daughter for so many years. Or it could have been because it was painful to speak of her grandfather with Dumbledore, which was why she didn't do it very often.
"As for Colleen, you must accept that she may never be well, at least not for long," he said. "I'm afraid the odds are against her at this point. That's not to say there is no hope for her, only that you must be realistic… and prepared for any possibility."
Something clawed at her heart and her eyes filled with tears.
"You mean her death."
Dumbledore exhaled and bowed his head. "Not exclusively, but that is always a risk where substance abuse is concerned."
She appreciated his efforts to get through to her, but his message was too difficult for her to process. She still couldn't wrap her brain around her mother coming back and leaving again, how was she supposed to think the unthinkable?
"Thank you, sir. May I be excused, now?"
He stared at her for moment, sadness in his eyes, before nodding. "Yes, Annabelle. You may."
She walked quickly, slipping out the door and to the stairs before he could say anymore. One syllable, death – a word she normally couldn't bring herself to say out loud – resounded in her brain like a gong. No, she mustn't allow herself to think of it. But the word persisted in her thoughts like a scratched record, and she hoped she would never have to find out if and when Colleen eventually destroyed herself. If she was gone, let any bad news connected to her be gone with her. Then she could tell herself that her mother was fine, wherever she was. Maybe she'd even believe it.
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They didn't all fit into a train compartment together, so Lily and Annabelle rode with Sirius, James and Peter, while Remus was assigned prefect duties, even though he spent half the trip with Claire. Johnny B. shared a car with Caradoc, Fairfax, and Edmund Kittle, as well as a revolving door of girls that popped in, some eager to have their hearts broken by Fairfax, and others not ready to accept that Johnny B. was, in fact, gay. Alice had been picked up by Frank the night before, as she would be spending the holiday in Paris with his family, causing much envy in her two closest friends.
Of course, Peter talked everyone's ears off until he fell asleep, his head repeatedly lolling onto James' shoulder. James kept nudging him off, much to the amusement of Sirius, Annabelle, and Lily, and not until James gave him a shove that caused him to fall off the seat did Peter finally switch position.
James and Lily eventually slipped into their own quiet conversation, punctuated by soft kisses on foreheads, cheeks, and lips. Sirius held Annabelle, their hands clasped together for most of the journey, an aching inside them both. Even though Sirius and James had promised they'd find a way to visit the girls before Saturday, they were used to seeing each other morning, noon, and night, seven days a week. And after the events of the past few weeks, being apart was a daunting prospect.
Annabelle's forehead was glued to Sirius' neck as she watched the green fields roll by, occasionally spotting a flock of sheep or a distant church steeple pointing toward the cloudy, grey heavens. Occasionally, the clouds would break and pillars of shimmering gold would reach down to the damp earth like divine searchlights. She wondered what her mum was doing at the moment. Was she really in Belfast? Was she safe? Was she thinking of her daughter? And with the questions came the grief that she'd been grappling with since the day she saw the wine in front of her. She let go of Sirius' hand and slid her arm around him. He held her and kissed her head, threading his fingers through her hair.
"I have to keep reminding myself that Jaeger is locked up," he said quietly, "and that he can't hurt you anymore. Or else I wouldn't be able to let you go."
She tilted her back and kissed him along his jawline, while he closed his eyes and tried to push his fears aside. But they were persistent. He couldn't begin to fathom the terror she experienced when Jaeger tried to murder her. All he knew was when he thought about it - and he thought about it constantly- that it shook him inside in a way he hated. To think of how vulnerable they all were, how one person could take someone else out of the world without a thought, and with mad wizards like Voldemort and his Death Eaters still lurking about unchecked, he couldn't fight the dread pooling in the pit of his stomach.
"I'm going to miss you so much," Annabelle whispered.
He steeled himself, wanting to be strong for her. "We'll find a way to visit you."
"You'd better. Just don't get caught."
"Caught? Padfoot and Prongs? Never. You should know that by now."
Smiling up at him, she replied, "Who knew that dating you meant I'd also get to have my first pet?"
Sirius started laughing, as did James, since it was difficult to have a completely private conversation in such close quarters.
"Good one, Annie," James said. "Ten points to Gryffindor."
"Well, Prongs, I won't believe it until I see you transform with my own eyes," Lily teased.
"Then see it you shall."
"Just don't do it near a hunting ground," Annabelle said. "Or else… pow."
"Ha ha. You're just full of jokes today, aren't you."
There was a thud against the door to their car, and they jerked their heads toward the sound. Johnny B. had his flawless face pressed against the glass, mouth agape, his features wildly distorted. A fit of laughter seized them, and proud of himself, he slid open the door and plunked down next to Annabelle.
"All right, children, here's the plan. We're meeting Matthew at The Clanging Bell in Highgate on Saturday, two o'clock. It's some all-day band thing called Springfest. He said not to worry about fake I.D.s because they never check."
"Three stops past Camden, yeah?" Sirius confirmed.
"You got it."
"What bands are playing?" James asked.
"Eh, I don't have bloody clue. All I know is that if you lot don't find a way to be there, I'll curse you with foul body odour for the rest of your days."
"Don't bother cursing Peter," Sirius said. "I think someone else got there first."
"I heard that, asshole," Peter groaned, his eyes still closed.
They started laughing again, and Peter got up in a huff. "I'm going to find the food trolley." And with that, he flung open the door and was gone.
"Something tells me he won't be joining us in Highgate," Lily observed.
"Probably right," James replied. "He's really freaked out about Voldemort. It's to the point where he should see a shrink or something."
"A shrink would be wasted on Peter," Sirius said. "He's beyond help."
No one could argue with that. Johnny B. sighed and put his feet up on the seat Peter left empty.
"I'm staying in this car. You lot are much more tolerable than listening to Caradoc and Edmund debate which magical creature could kill you faster, a hydra or a chimaera. And of course listening to Fairfax slurp all over Phyllis Meadowes is particularly unsettling."
"Did you say Phyllis?" Lily exclaimed as Annabelle gasped and Sirius and James' jaws dropped.
"Just joking!" he crowed, "Can you imagine sweet, innocent Phyllis hooking up with Fax? Now that'd be a crime against humanity if there ever was one. No, no, he's actually snogging Mary McDonald. No joke this time."
"Hmm, for some reason the two of them together doesn't surprise me," Annabelle mused.
"Me neither," said Lily. "In fact, I think they'd be perfect together."
"Don't get ahead of yourselves," Sirius said. "We're talking about Fairfax. His affections change on a sickle."
"Hush, you," Lily replied. "She may be the one to hold his interest. You don't know."
"Okay," he said. "And I'll be ready to say I told you so in a week's time."
"I'll give it two weeks," James chimed in. "Two and half max."
"Cynics, the both of you," Lily sighed, resting her head on James' shoulder.
The last leg of their journey seemed to fly by, and soon green fields gave way to houses, then to warehouses, and before they knew it, London was looming all around them. Annabelle's heart sank, and when they disembarked, students scattered as they met up with their families, waved good-bye to friends, and disappeared out of King's Cross Station.
James' parents, John and Rosemond, also known as Jack and Rosie, were chatting with Lily's parents, Harvey and Kaye, while Lily and James waited next to them, exchanging awkward smiles. The Potters were much older than Mr. and Mrs. Evans, old enough to be their parents, but they were young at heart. Even so, the time for passionate kisses goodbye was over, unless they wanted to give their parents a display. Annabelle and Sirius stood together near the platform entrance, a distance away from their hosts, hands clasped and unable to let go.
"This feels strange," Annabelle said, "Knowing I won't see you later."
"I'll see you soon," he said, taking her face in his hands. "Sooner than you think."
They held each other one more time, Annabelle gripping the fabric of his coat while he softly stroked her hair. A moment later, James motioned to Sirius that it was time. He let go of Annabelle and said, "I love you, and you won't have time to miss me. That's how soon I'll be paying you a visit."
"Remember, don't get caught," she warned, despite the boys' cavalier attitude about getting away with everything. "And I love you too." She gave him a peck on the cheek, and they strode over to where their surrogate families were waiting.
"Annabelle!" Mrs. Evans exclaimed as she swept her into a hug. "It's so wonderful to see you! I almost didn't believe it when Lily told us what happened!"
"You kids have been through a terrible ordeal," Mr. Potter acknowledged. "Hopefully Dumbledore will screen his teaching candidates a bit more carefully from here on out."
"I certainly hope so," Mr. Evans said. "I have a mind to take Lily right out of that place."
"It was just a fluke, dad," Lily replied. "The rest of our instructors are highly professional and excellent at what they do."
"And Dumbledore's teaching the class until the end of the school year," James told them. "Can't get better than that."
"Well, you've certainly earned your holiday," Mrs. Potter chimed in. "And I couldn't be prouder of you all for being so brave."
"What did you expect, dear," Mr. Potter replied. "They're Gryffindors!"
Annabelle glanced at Sirius who gave her a half smile and subtle wink. As they walked out of the station, the parents chatted about the chilly weather, and after one more goodbye, they went their separate ways. The Potters headed to The Leaky Cauldron where they would be travelling by floo to their home in the Devon countryside. Since the Evanses were muggles, they stopped at a restaurant for a bite to eat before embarking on the three-hour car ride to Cokeworth.
Once in the car, Annabelle noticed Lily had tears in her eyes, which in turn made Annabelle choke up, and they simultaneously burst out laughing at their sentimentality. Annabelle didn't mind the journey at first. She spent her childhood riding in cars, so they didn't fascinate her nor did they inspire her ridicule like they did with some wizards, but after the first hour and a half, it would have been nice to hop into a fireplace or mount a broom to the sky and just be there already. She and Lily could apparate longer distances thanks to their apparition classes, and she thought she could probably make it to Cokeworth if she concentrated really hard. But Mr. and Mrs. Evans let them pick the radio station, and they talked and gazed out the window at the scenery which was similar to the pastoral scenes they'd passed on the train into London.
"Next year, can we take the Floo Network from The Leaky Cauldron?" Lily asked her parents. "James' dad can set up a connection for us at the Ministry of Magic. Then you won't have to drive so far just to turn back round again. We can just meet you at home."
"We'll see, dear," her mother replied. "You know I don't like the idea of you girls coming all this way on your own."
"But it literally takes minutes. Not three bloody hours."
"Language, Lily," Mr. Evans said.
"Sorry, Dad."
"Annabelle, you'll find Petunia's room all set up for you," Mrs. Evans informed her. "The bed has fresh sheets, and I've left towels and washcloths for you folded on the desk. If you need anything else, don't be timid, dear. Just ask, all right?"
Annabelle smiled. "Yes, Kaye. And thank you."
"Mum, does Petunia know Annie's sleeping in her room?"
"She does."
"Does she mi-"
"Lily," Mrs. Evans cut her off, "The house belongs to your father and me. Petunia is well aware that when she moved out, her room would occasionally be used for guests. Now, when we get home, I think you girls should get some homework done. Don't put it off until the last minute. Of course, after all the stress you've endured, you'll need your rest, so I'd like you to get to bed early tonight lest you get sick for Easter."
"Yes, mum, we will," Lily droned, smirking and rolling her eyes slightly so that only Annabelle could see.
Annabelle fought the urge to giggle. Lily was probably sick of her mother's nagging, but Annabelle embraced it every time she stayed with them. As an outsider looking in, she could see it was just Mrs. Evans' way of caring for her daughter, and it was beautiful, no matter how annoying it could be.
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Stepping out of the hearth into the Potter's sitting room, Sirius was reminded of why he treasured visits to his best friend's house so much. The aroma of dinner, cooked by Dotty the house elf and chef extraordinaire, filled his nose, mixing with a subtle hint of cinnamon and orange that was drifting down from the upstairs rooms - Mrs. Potter's potpourri that she bought in the South of France every summer. The entire house seemed to glow in the late afternoon light, and hearing James and his parents banter good-naturedly with each other, he was reminded that loving homes were indeed a real thing.
James showed Sirius to one of four spacious, impeccably decorated guest rooms; the one he always stayed in because it had a view of the river that wound its way through the wood behind the house, the same river that he and James trekked down to and swam in every sunny day in August since he was twelve years old. In fact, Mr. and Mrs. Potter referred to it as Sirius' room, and it warmed his heart that this fine family had welcomed him with open arms.
Like a mountain resort in the Alps, minus the mountains of course, Mrs. Potter chose a comfortable, more contemporary style of home furnishings than Sirius' mum had. The Black family shunned anything too modern or comfortable and 12 Grimmauld Place had been a stark, cold contrast to the cosy warmth found in every corner of the sprawling Potter estate.
James lounged on the chaise near the fireplace in Sirius' room while Sirius charmed his suitcase to unpack itself.
"Can you believe the pile of work Dumbledore assigned for Defence?" James asked. "Ouch."
"He reckons we have to catch up after learning nothing for so long."
"Yeah, and at least he's a real teacher. Too bad he couldn't just keep the job permanently."
"That would be wicked."
Mrs. Potter knocked softly and peeked her head in. "Everything all right?"
"Yes, Mrs. Potter," Sirius replied.
"Oh, Sirius, you've been staying with us long enough that I think you can drop the Mrs. Potter pretence. Call me Rosie. And Mr. Potter is Jack from now on. Understood?"
Sirius smiled. "All right, Rosie. And thank you, for everything."
"That's completely unnecessary, but you're welcome. Dinner should be ready in a half hour. Hope you're hungry because Dotty has been busy in the kitchen all afternoon making her famous roast beef and Yorkshire pudding. I think we could feed the entire village of Muddiwick with the amount of food she's prepared."
"Mum, could we have the girls over next week?"
"Not sure Mrs. Evans would approve, James."
"We can always pop over and ask."
Mrs. Potter lit the lamps in the room with her wand as the sun was beginning its descent into the hills.
"Apparition is out of the question, son. You haven't taken your test yet."
"What about-"
"And it's too far away and chilly for brooms."
James sighed, but didn't push the issue.
"Maybe this summer, when the weather is warm and you can spend time at the river. Don't forget, you'll see them in just over a week. I think you'll survive." She headed to the door. "And don't get any ideas."
"Okay," James replied, and as she turned to go, he called, "Thanks, Rosie!"
She peered at him from the door, but instead of scolding him, she shook her head, and as she walked away they heard her mutter, "Oh Jamie, what am I going to do with you?"
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That evening, Lily and Annabelle did as Mrs. Evans advised and began their homework. They hoped to finish it as soon as possible so they could be free for rest of week, but there was just so much of it.
"My hand is starting to hurt," Annabelle said after two hours of Dumbledore's assignment.
Lily closed her book. "Let's take a break. Want to watch the telly?"
"Sure. Haven't done that in a while."
They went downstairs, but Mr. and Mrs. Evans were watching a game show, and the girls quickly grew bored. A tapping on the window caused Annabelle to shriek, which caused Lily's parents to startle.
"It's just an owl, Annie," Lily laughed, and opened the window. "Iris! How are you?"
She took the letter from the Potters' owl and disappeared for a moment, returning with a mouse from the stash they kept for Simon. Iris flew off with it and Lily closed the window. The girls excused themselves to Lily's room with the letter. Lily opened it and pulled out a piece of creamy linen stationery, holding it between them so they could both read it.
Dear L & A,
Going to be home tomorrow? If so, we'll meet you at the park by your house at one.
J & S
Lily smiled. "Aww, I knew they wouldn't last a day without us!"
She went to her desk and wrote back to accept.
"Tell them to be careful not to get caught," Annabelle reminded her.
"Merlin, Annie, you are as bad as my mum. P.S. Annie says be careful not to get caught. Happy now, worrywart?"
"Why yes I am, thank you."
Annabelle couldn't help it. She'd always been a worrier, but in light of recent events, she felt like every action had the potential to bring about tragedy. Losing her mother, Jaeger's abuses of power and vendetta against her… she was haunted by these things and felt like if she just held the reins a bit tighter, maybe she could get control over what seemed to be a whirlwind of unforeseen disaster.
"Maybe my mum was right," Lily said after sending Simon off with the letter. "Sleep will be good for us. You look knackered."
Annabelle agreed, and after changing into her nightgown and brushing her teeth, she climbed under the frilly pink covers in Petunia's room. Mrs. Evans had already cleared the bed of Petunia's abundant collection of dolls and teddy bears, but she hadn't taken down the posters on her walls. There was a particularly unsettling one of Rod Stewart staring at her from the opposite wall. Not that she had anything against him, but he seemed to gaze at her expectantly, like some tight-trouser-wearing pervert.
She shut off the light, willing herself to sleep, but being in the foreign room made it difficult. Eventually she heard Mr. and Mrs. Evans ascend the creaking stairs and retreat into their bedroom, their soft voices muffled. The sound of the occasional passing car outside made her nostalgic for her "muggle days" as she'd come to think of them, and she felt simultaneously lucky and cursed – lucky to have the Evans family in her life, and cursed to have no family of her own. Count your blessings, Mrs. Brennan always told her when she would complain about something beyond her control. She figured it was worth a try, and was asleep before she could finish her tally.
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Sirius woke up to sounds of birds chirping in the trees outside his window. He felt rested and alert; it was hard not to sleep well in that massive, warm bed with the fire crackling away. The only thing that would have made it better was if Annabelle was there, but he knew she was in good hands with Lily's parents, and since Petunia didn't live there anymore, she was safe from her insults as well.
He went downstairs in his pyjamas, which was the Potter tradition, the aroma of coffee and freshly baked pastries beckoning to him. Mr. Potter sat at the round white table in the breakfast nook. No formal breakfasts for the Potters, just five or six different varieties of pastries, yoghurts, breads, and jams spread out on the table. There were also pots of piping hot tea and coffee, and an array of juices to choose from.
"Would you like Dotty to cook you a fry up?" Mr. Potter asked.
"No, sir, I think this will be sufficient."
"Sirius, cut the "sir" nonsense, please. This is your home, not military boot camp."
Sirius grinned. "Sorry, Jack."
He poured himself some coffee, which he much preferred instead of waiting for a house elf to pour it for him, which was protocol at Grimmauld Place. Soon, James shuffled into the room, his hair sticking up in every possible direction.
Jack briefly glanced up from his paper and asked, "Did you hex yourself, son?"
Sirius choked out a laugh.
"So hilarious," James moaned, grabbing the coffee.
"Our Jamie, ever the morning person." Jack slapped his newspaper shut and tossed it onto the table. "Right, I'm heading out for a bit. Your mother is resting. Had a bit of a headache last night, so try not to disturb her. Get outside, get some fresh air. You both look like ghosts from being cooped up all winter."
"Great idea, dad," James replied, grinning at Sirius. "Maybe we will."
Jack Potter put on his cap and jacket, and headed out into the cool morning. Sirius and James finished their breakfasts and got dressed. They were just heading out the door when James' mother came downstairs, looking a bit frail.
"Going to the local library I hope?" she asked as she took each step carefully. "Getting a start on all that schoolwork?"
"Just going to walk into the village," James replied. "Don't worry mum, we'll get our homework done."
She made her way over to them and said, "I'll be going to lunch with my weekly witches group at noon in Godric's Hollow; dear old Bathilda is hosting this week, so if you need me you know where I am. Then I'm heading over to the Home for Aging Wizards in Hogsmeade to lead craft time. I won't be back until around six, so please, make today a productive one, and remember, no magic outside this house."
Sirius could tell James' mother had a strong influence over her son. Even Sirius wasn't immune to it completely, but he could withstand it better than James could.
"We would never," Sirius replied, trying hard not to smirk.
Rosie narrowed her hazel eyes at him, a small grin playing at her lips. "Why do I find that hard to believe?"
Sirius chuckled and replied, "Don't worry, Rosie. We'll stay out of trouble."
"All right, have a good day, lads. Off you go."
"Mum, are you sure you should be doing so much today? Dad said you weren't feeling well and-"
"James, I'm fine. I just want to enjoy my breakfast in peace. Be gone with you."
The boys followed her orders and headed down the narrow road into the village. Muddiwick was inhabited mostly by muggles, but there were a few wizarding families that had been there for centuries as well. Even though James had grown up there, he'd been very sheltered from the life of the village. As a small child, he'd grown accustomed to flooing it with his mum to play dates at the homes of other magical children, taking holidays with other magical families, and generally steering clear of any muggles he might come across. It wasn't that his parents wanted him to feel superior to muggles, but that they wanted to protect him from any mishaps and the temptation to reveal his abilities to other children. Now that he was older and had a better understanding of things, they trusted him to intermix with muggle society as he saw fit.
The boys wandered down the narrow road past wooden fences and prickly hedges, farm land on one side and storybook cottages on the other. Flowering wild cherry and blackthorn trees twisted their branches overhead, and the dew sparkled on the blossoms in the morning light. It wasn't long before they reached the village where they nipped into a small shop.
"Here they are. Jaffa Cakes," Sirius said, picking up the box he remembered Annabelle opening on Christmas morning. "Annabelle and Lily love them, but I tasted one and I can't say I feel the same."
"Let's buy a few boxes. We can bring them with us today."
After paying for their Jaffa Cakes, they strolled down to the bridge that crossed the river and opened a box. James took one, but hesitated.
"Go on," Sirius said. "Try it. It won't kill you."
James shrugged and bit into it, chewing slowly as he gazed out over the marshlands. "They're not entirely awful," he said when he was done.
"But they're not good either."
"No, they're not. Better not let Dotty see them. She'll be insulted."
James popped the rest of it into his mouth and shoved the box back into the bag. They killed time at the river's edge, throwing rocks into the water. Soon it became a competition over who could throw the farthest. By noon, they went back to the house, ate some lunch, and got ready to meet the girls. Since James' parents weren't home, they could disapparate straight from James' room. If Dotty heard the cracking sounds, she wouldn't tell. She loved James as much as his parents did and would never say anything that might make Jack and Rosie angry with him. Sirius wished Kreacher had been more like Dotty. At least he would have had one ally in the house while growing up.
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Lily and Annabelle didn't exactly lie when they told Mrs. Evans they were going to the library. In fact, they spent fifteen minutes there looking for a book they'd heard about called Fear of Flying. When they asked the librarian about it, she told them that the library had banned that particular book a few years before, and what did nice young girls want to read rubbish like that for anyway?
"We'll just buy a copy in London, then," Annabelle decided as they walked to the park.
"I don't think she realised that by telling us it's rubbish, she just made us want to read it more."
"Exactly. It must be pretty wild to be banned."
A few children played on the jungle gym, while others ran in circles playing tag. Lily and Annabelle sat down on the swings and kicked off, pumping their legs to see how high they could go. They laughed and shrieked at the power their bodies possessed, going much higher than when they were younger.
Annabelle thought she might fly right out of the swing and she began to drag her feet, slowing herself down when a pair of hands landed firmly on the middle of her back, sending her higher again.
Lily screamed at the same time Annabelle did, and they jerked their heads about, not surprised to see Sirius and James behind them, cracking themselves up over scaring them. Once their swings slowed to a stop, the boys greeted them with kisses and Jaffa Cakes. They split up for a while, and James sat down on the swing Annabelle had vacated, taking Lily's hand as they swung gently, side-by-side.
Sirius and Annabelle strolled over to the playing fields where some local boys were playing football. They sat down in the stands, the metal cold beneath them. Sirius wasted no time, pulling her face to his for a long, lingering kiss.
"You were wrong," she said when he stopped to look at her.
"About what?" he asked.
"You said I wouldn't have time to miss you."
"I missed you, too. In fact, I had a rather lovely dream about you last night."
"You did? Aren't you lucky."
Sirius laughed, and Annabelle could tell already that being at the Potters was having a positive effect on him.
"I take it you didn't dream about me, then," he said.
Annabelle's smile faded. "I wish I had."
She crossed her arms and hunched forward. Despite the sunshine, it was still a chilly day, and the dampness in the air made it feel colder than it actually was.
Sirius leaned back, resting his elbows on the cement step behind him. "You had nightmares again."
Annabelle nodded, not really wanting to rehash the bad dreams.
"Where they about Colleen or Jaeger?"
"Colleen," she muttered. "As usual. Jaeger's not worth dreaming about."
"You want to talk about it?"
"No, not really. What is there to say?"
"Come on, Annie," he said, sitting up again and resting a hand on her knee. "You said you wouldn't hide things from me anymore. You're killing yourself over this and I don't know how to help you. Just let it out already!"
Annabelle swallowed back the anguish that seemed to spring itself on her at the most inopportune times, and replied, "Okay, fine. Did you know that when she came back I actually thought that I'd be spending Easter with her? That I wouldn't have to be some charity case for once? I mean, how stupid is that?"
"Lily's parents don't think of you as a charity case. And there's nothing stupid about being optimistic."
Her voice cracked as she went on. "I even imagined baking a bloody simnel cake with her, and I don't even like simnel cake. Or baking for that matter. It just seemed so perfect in my mind, throwing flour at each other, giggling like old friends, and while it baked, we would chat about whatever mothers and daughters are supposed to chat about. It was a ridiculous fantasy and I'm embarrassed for having it."
She stood up, tired of crying about Colleen but unable to fight the angry tears stinging her eyes. She was still so frustrated, and she didn't know how to get over it. Sirius stood up with her, walking a step behind her as she made her way down and around to the other side of the stands where no one could see her. All that was back there was a small lawn and a line of patchy trees dividing the property from a hilly field and a pond. She leaned against one of the metal supports, her back to Sirius and tried to regain her composure, but the harder she tried to stay calm, the more worked up she became.
Sirius wanted so much to ease her pain, but he didn't know how. All he knew was that seeing her so bereft over her mother, in addition to everything else she'd been through was breaking his heart. There was no way to change what happened, but he couldn't stand by and allow her to wallow in her abandonment, either. That would be an abandonment of another kind. And how many times had she been his compass when he was lost? He wanted desperately to return the favour.
Taking a deep breath, he walked over and stood in front of her.
"Remember what you said to me about leaving the past in the past?" he asked. "About being set free and leaving the cage behind?"
She looked at him, a blank expression on her tear-streaked face. "Yes."
"Well, it's my turn to say it to you. You have to let go. Of Colleen, of what she did to you, of your guilt for not being able to fix her… or you will never be free."
"Maybe we shouldn't talk about this right now."
"That's the problem. You won't talk about it at all."
"It's not like talking about it will make it better!"
"No, but you are holding on to her anyway," Sirius said, following her as she started walking across the lawn. "You know she can't be what you want her to be. She isn't good for you, and she knows it. God, even her own father knew that! Why can't you accept it?"
Annabelle turned abruptly, her face stricken with pain. "She's my mother!"
"She's gone, Annabelle!"
She froze in place, her eyes wide as he stepped towards her.
"And it's not your fault. You can't keep holding yourself responsible for her." She turned away again, but he caught her in his arms from behind, holding her as her body shook with sobs. "You have your own life to live. And you deserve to be happy, despite your mother's struggle. No, she's not bad, but she's sick, and you can't cure her no matter how hard you try and no matter how much you beat yourself up over it! But you can save yourself, don't you see? You need to let her go."
She turned round and pressed her face into his shoulder. He cradled her head, and with is other arm around her, squeezed her tight as her tears wet his shirt. When she began to relax, she looked up at him.
"I just can't handle any more bad news," she said hoarsely. "Enough is enough."
Sirius wiped her cheeks and kissed her forehead. "I think we've both had more than our fair share of suffering this year. Things can only get better, yeah?"
She nodded, closing her eyes and resting her head on him again. "I hope so. It's just hard going through life with no family, you know what I mean?"
He hugged her close and said, "You know I do. But even though we can't change the past, the future is ours, Annie. We can face it together. We can be each other's family, can't we? And neither of us will have to feel alone in this world, ever again."
Family. Love. An unbreakable bond with another human being. These were the things they both wanted, needed really. And they were things, she realised, that they already had in each other.
She took his his face in her hands, and replied in a shaky voice, "You're in my blood already. And you always will be, no matter what. I wouldn't have it any other way because I love you."
Sirius' eyes filled with tears and he held her tighter. All those years, his family had been wrong. He was worthy of love. She wanted to be connected to him, wanted him to be a part of her always - she said so herself. And in order to receive it, he just had to be himself, and that's how he knew it was real.
"I love you too. Always will."
They held each other a bit longer, and eventually a glimmer of peace settled inside of them. They wiped each others tears, and after a tender kiss, began walking back towards the playground.
"Are you going to be all right tonight?" he asked.
"I'll be fine. I have Rod Stewart to keep me company."
"Not even going to ask."
She laughed, and it felt good. He squeezed her hand, then brought it to his lips, kissing it softly. A fluttering tickled her insides, and she wondered how one person could have such a beautiful effect on her. She pulled his face to hers and kissed him again as they walked, stumbling across the squishy spring grass. Lily and James were heading toward them, and when they saw each other, Lily broke away from James, running to Annabelle and tugging her arm.
"Come, Annie," she said in a hushed voice, "James says they're going to transfigure for us."
They walked back to the thicket of trees, climbing through the undergrowth to the other side where the large field lay fallow before them.
"The road is all the way on the other side of the barn," Lily said. "No one will see."
Sirius and James looked at each other and in less than a second, the boys were gone, replaced by a noble stag and a rather large, but adorable, black dog.
Lily gasped then let out a sharp laugh as she stared in disbelief, unable to conceal her wonderment.
"Oh my word. That is bloody amazing!" she exclaimed, timidly approaching Prongs. "I want to learn how to do it!"
The last time Annabelle had seen the dog that was trotting over to her, he had been vicious and frightening. But as he sat before her, looking up with expectant eyes that even in their canine form were so familiar to her, she had a new appreciation for him. He was the sweetest guard dog a girl could ever hope for.
When he raised his paw, she knelt down and took it, then scratched him behind the ear.
"This is bloody weird," she said to him as she giggled, but the dog closed his eyes and leaned into her scratching, so she kept it up a bit longer. When she stopped, he barked once, then licked her face.
"Sirius! Ugh! That's so wrong!"
But her complaining didn't stop him, and while Lily continued to investigate Prongs, Padfoot knocked Annabelle onto the soggy ground, licking her face all over. She laughed and shrieked in protest, her eyes closed tight until the dog's tongue was gone, replaced by human lips. She opened her eyes to see the boy she loved, back in his human form.
"Woof," he said.
She rolled over on top of him, smothering him with kisses.
"I should lick your face," she said. "See how you like it."
"Like it? I'd love it."
"True, you probably would," she replied before she stood up and offered him her hand.
They ambled over to Lily, who was still beguiled as she slowly smoothed the stag's fur along his face. When he nudged his head against hers, she closed her eyes, hugging his neck.
"Bet you never thought you get that close to Bambi, did you?" Sirius asked.
Lily laughed and opened her eyes. "No, I didn't. It's incredible. Wait - how do you know about Bambi?"
"Remus' mum is a muggle, remember? He's seen all kinds of muggle films. It was his idea to call him that."
Prongs instantly turned back into James and he teasingly gave Sirius a shove. "What'd I say about calling me Bambi, Toto?"
With a smile on his face, Sirius shoved him back. "Toto? Toto? Now you're going to pay."
In a heartbeat, they were dog and stag again, running across the meadow, darting and dodging each other at every turn.
"Show offs!" Lily called after them. After a moment, she said to Annabelle, "Our boyfriends are frolicking in a field together."
Annabelle burst out laughing. "At least they keep things interesting."
"It's just so amazing knowing they can do this. So few people can."
"Amazing is a good word for them."
After a few more minutes, the boys came striding back in from the field looking wind-blown and red-cheeked. Deciding to warm up before heading home, the four of them walked to a nearby café for some tea. When it was time for the boys to return to James' house, they walked Lily and Annabelle back to the library and said their goodbyes with a promise of another visit when the girls least expected it.
"Don't bother saving us any Jaffa Cakes," James said, pretending to gag himself.
"Don't worry, we won't," replied Lily as she pulled him closer.
A few prolonged kisses and hugs later, James and Sirius headed off, returning to the patch of trees behind the park so they could dispparate in secret.
"Is it sappy that I'm really bloody sad they left?" Lily asked after they were gone.
"No. I feel it too."
The library door swung open behind them and Severus Snape shoved between them, then stormed off down the pavement. He shot a disdainful look at Lily before turning the corner of the building.
"What's his problem?" Annabelle asked, her face scrunched in irritation.
Lily glared at the spot where he'd just disappeared, then scuffed her foot on the ground. Neither wanted to start walking until they were sure he was gone.
"I reckon he saw James and Sirius from inside. Did you know I haven't spoken with him since February, and honestly, for the first time in years, I haven't missed him? What does that tell you?"
Annabelle bit her tongue, not wanting to disparage Lily's former friend too much, lest they mend their friendship someday.
"It tells me that you've gone your separate ways. It happens sometimes. His way of handling it tells me he's a bit dramatic."
"You can say that again. We're just so different now, and of course he could never be happy that I associate with James. But he's got friends I don't approve of. They're creeps. Do you think he'd shun them all on my account?"
"I don't know. If anything he's just getting chummier with them."
"Exactly. And I wouldn't dream of giving up James for anyone, let alone to repair Severus' wounded pride."
"You shouldn't have to give up someone you love in order to keep a friend. You wouldn't ask him to do that, and he shouldn't expect it of you."
Lily shoved her hands in her jacket pockets and kicked a pebble across the pavement.
"I tried to forget the mudblood comment," she said quietly. "I believed him when he said he didn't mean it, but I can't help but wonder if my being a muggleborn is more of an issue for him than he lets on. I don't know what he wants from me, but I do know that I'm exhausted trying to figure it out. I can't do it anymore."
Annabelle gave her back a rub. "Don't let him get to you, Lil. You're not responsible for his happiness. Only he is. Hopefully he'll realise that someday."
Just then, Mrs. Evans pulled up in front of the library and rolled down the window.
"I swung by to see if you wanted a ride home," she said. "The clouds are rolling in – looks like it's going to rain soon. Wouldn't want you girls to get drenched and catch a cold."
Lily and Annabelle smiled at each other, and gladly expected the offer, hopping into the car and turning up the radio. "Here Comes the Sun," by The Beatles was playing, and after expressing how long it'd been since they'd all heard that song, they sang along at the tops their lungs. Even Lily's mother joined in.