The Maternal Mediation

Nobody noticed.

Thick, dark blood poured out of her stomach and everyone just ignored it

They all were watching her, staring sadly, though no one made any move to help.

On shaking legs, she tried to open her mouth to call out to them, but received nothing but silence and vague smiles.

She was dying, and her friends didn't care.

She turned desperately to Amy. She knew Amy would help her. Penny reached out to her, straining as tears streaked down her face, trying to plead with her eyes since she could make no sound.

Amy nodded, "It'll be okay, Bestie."

"You really have to let go now," Leonard said, suddenly beside her. Penny reached out for him, but he was just out of reach. "You knew you would never be strong enough."

"Wh—" Penny whispered, and suddenly everyone's attention turned to the tiny coffin being lowered into the ground.

Penny had never seen anything so small; it was no bigger than a shoe box.

Across from her, stood a tearful Sheldon, reaching toward the box and breaking her heart.

"Sheldon," Was the first word she managed, finally able to move her legs. Pushing past her friends, she punched Howard and shoved Raj out of her way when they tried to stop her, eager to reach the man she loved. Her heart hurt under Sheldon's sudden dark glower.

"You were never enough! You could never protect my child!" He screamed in a voice so unlike his own that Penny felt her body tense at the sound. Suddenly, his hands were on her throat; bigger and stronger than she'd ever expected them.

They were familiar; however, they weren't Sheldon's hands.

Everything changed around her, and it was now Kurt gripping her throat in his powerful hands, a menacing smile etched on his face. A face she had once found so appealing. "Of course you killed your baby," he sneered, "Fuck ups can't be mothers."

Penny sat up in a rush, gasping out loud as she felt the blankets fall down around her waist. Struggling to breathe as she inhaled, choking for air, she scanned her bedroom as the sun barely peeked in through the curtains. Her body was shaking, and her heart was racing as she started to worry that her throat might close up.

Pushing off the blankets, Penny glanced down at her stomach, sighing in agonized relief. She was just barely showing. She could tell, though no one else had mentioned it yet.

She splayed her hand protectively across her expanding middle, and felt the exhaustion of sleep beckon to her again, but fought against it for fear of the nightmare she'd just awoken from.

The fear was winning.

Images of Sheldon crying flashed through her mind; she couldn't shake the sight. Most of the time, her dreams were forgotten seconds after waking up. This one lingered on the fringes of her consciousness.

Dragging herself out of bed, Penny ignored her robe and slippers, before grabbing the spare key to 4A and fleeing her apartment in search of comfort. She unlocked the door and walked inside, catching sight of Leonard, who was leaning against the island and sipping coffee.

"Morning, Penny," He offered casually, with a smile that she struggled to return. Penny managed a wave, even though her eyes were half open and she was still a wreck, muttering something inaudible as she continued down the hall, hearing the sound of the running shower. She silently thanked whoever that the door was unlocked, closing it behind her and locking it, before she tore off her T-Shirt and shorts.

"Leonard," Sheldon's voice came from within, "if you are urinating in this bathroom during my allotted shower time, then that will cost you two strikes!" He finished, and she could see his fingers gripping the periodic table shower curtain.

"It's me," she announced in a broken whisper, making Sheldon tug the curtain aside and peer out at her.

"Penny?" He'd barely said her name, before she pried the curtain from his fingers and slipped inside with him. "What are you doing?" He shrieked, attempting to cover himself, " You can't be in here, Penny. This is mydesignated time to shower. I realize in Nebraska, it is probably common practice for people to bathe like common ranch hands, but here—"

Without a word, she wrapped her arms around his pressing her face against the surprisingly broad warmth of his wet, bare chest. Sheldon stumbled back a bit into the spray, the water rolling over his shoulders and falling down her back.

"I had a dream," she finally managed to mumble, if only to try and keep him from worrying.

She felt him relax a bit in her arms. "Penny today is not Martin Luther King Jr. day."

Unintentionally, he'd made her laugh. Unintentionally, he'd made everything feel okay again. "I dreamed that I lost the baby…that you blamed me for killing our baby."

"Oh," Sheldon replied, falling silent for a moment. A moment later, Penny felt his hands awkwardly fall to rest against her shoulder blades. "There, there. "

"I won't, okay?" Penny promised, tearfully, "I won't lose our baby." She felt his hands begin to move in soothing circles over her back, unsure if he was doing it on purpose or not. She didn't care. It felt wonderful. "I'm sorry…I just need you to hold me."

Sheldon sighed, moving a bit so that she was standing fully beneath the spray, letting the water wet her long locks. When he pulled away from her, Penny felt his fingers twine into her hair, combing lovingly through it, before they locked eyes. At his unspoken request, Penny turned to face away from him, feeling his hands lightly massaging her scalp for a moment. When he stopped, she could hear the sound of a shampoo bottle opening and turned to see.

No More Tears. It made her smile.

Slowly, wonderfully, he started to tenderly lather up her hair. Penny settled back against him, letting all her residual fear wash down the drain. His fingers trailed devotedly down every strand, methodically and meticulously, he didn't miss a piece as he guided her head back and adoringly smoothed the long, hanging tendrils.

When her hair was finished, she turned to face him again, turning him away from her by the shoulders. Still holding the shampoo bottle, Sheldon poured some into his hand while Penny prepared his loofah, before laving soap over his back and shoulders while he washed his own hair. When he finished, he turned and pulled her close again, smoothing a large hand over her gleaming, wet hair.

After the shower, Sheldon handed Penny a towel, which she wrapped herself in tightly while he did the same. Facing her, Sheldon broke the silence first.

"I feel no unease about you harming our baby, Penny. The idea is quite similar to that of Wil Wheaton ever landing a legitimate acting job. There is simply no chance."

"Oh honey," Penny managed through her sad and sweet laughter. "I do love you."

Sheldon blushed and leaned down as she pulled him down for a kiss.

Leonard was probably completely freaked out in the living room, but he'd live. Penny had other things on her mind at the moment.

After their morning shower, and the subsequent distance they received from Leonard following it, Sheldon insisted that Penny take him to the grocery store. Sundays were Grocery Day, but usually, it was he and Leonardwho made the trek. Since Leonard had plans with Amy, Sheldon needed a ride.

Of course, Penny wasn't that hard to convince. She felt a strong urge to be near Sheldon, especially today after her dream, but he was not all that thrilled about her desire to hold his hand in public or…anywhere. But despite the resigned glare he gave her when she grabbed his hand on the way into the store, he didn't pull away from her.

Sheldon came prepared, as always, with a list; the thing was massive and overflowing with items that were ideal for pregnant mothers. Penny had known that he would go over the top with all of this, but what was unexpected, was how much she enjoyed it. Truthfully, she'd thought that his suffocating approach to everything would drive her crazy, but she could see his genuine sincerity in his blue eyes and it touched her.

He was already proving to be a great caregiver.

Her? She wasn't quite so confident.

Once they'd finished shopping and had checked out, they sat together in silence on the drive home. Looking in his direction, Penny noticed he seemed to be deep in thought, his mind a thousand miles away. He hadn't evenmentioned her check engine light. Reaching over, she touched his arm to get his attention.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Yes," Sheldon sighed, "I apologize for my detachment. I was merely trying to play out my mother's possible reactions in my mind. They all sound like bible excerpts and lectures about the evils of the big city."

Penny frowned. "Your mom likes me though, right? I mean… she won't hate me, will she?"

"Penny," he started without condescension, though he clearly knew something she didn't. "My mother spends the better part of her days worrying that I have gotten myself caught up in some kind of street gang or child trafficking scheme. Her views of the city come from her absurd preference for primetime crime dramas and soap operas."

"And knocking up the blonde bimbo kinda falls right in line with all that, huh?" Penny said, hating the pitiful sound of her voice. She knew that she had robbed Sheldon of his innocence, but she wasn't so sure that it was such a bad thing. She loved him and would protect him at any cost. She could feel his gaze on her.

"I would never refer to you as a 'bimbo,' and I highly doubt that my mother would, either." He then turned his focus back out the window. "However, there is a good chance that she will see it as being a result of the city changing me." He cleared his throat. "How will you go about telling your parents?'

She turned onto the next road, glancing at him, "They're coming in two weeks for my birthday. Just Mom and Dad, so I figure we can tell them then."

"And what do you predict their reaction to the news will be?"

She shrugged. "I really don't know. They're not…I mean they know that I'm no virgin, but the whole baby out of wedlock thing might bother them, though not as much as your mom. I think they'll be okay. Dad's always wanted grandkids."

"Even though your father prefers Leonard," Sheldon spat with a roll of his eyes, as if it were the most ridiculous notion of all time.

Penny grinned, "He's never met you, Sweetie." She reached over again, this time to drape her hand atop his. "Once he sees how important you are to me and how great you treat me, he'll be on our team in no time."

As they pulled into the parking garage, Penny could tell that Sheldon was still lost in his own thoughts. She found a spot and stopped the car, putting it in park and adjusting in her seat a bit to watch him.

Agitated, Sheldon turned his gaze to her and crinkled his brow. "Are you going to inquire about something or are you trying to read my shirt?" He asked, running his fingers over the odd writing. "It's Klingon, it says—"

"Honey, I don't care what the shirt says, I was just watching you. You seem really bothered by the idea of telling your mom."

Sheldon pursed his lips and nodded. "I am. It will, no doubt, change her opinion of me, and could change the parameters of our relationship."

"She'll always be your mother, Sheldon." She told him, reassuringly, feeling the realization hit her like a ton of bricks. Soon, that would be her. It could be exactly her, if MoonPie got his way and she was truly harboring a genius baby in her belly. Sheldon gave an indifferent shrug. "When are you planning on telling her?" She urged.

"This evening." He answered, casually, absentmindedly checking his watch.

"What?" Penny cried, paling, "And you couldn't have let me know about this sooner?"

"I suppose, if you had asked sooner, then yes, I could have told you sooner." Penny glared at him, getting out of the car. Unnerved by her staring at him, he spoke, "What?"

"Sheldon, what if she wants to talk to me?"

"I'm actually quite certain she will not choose to talk to you on the phone," he informed her, moving to her side as they walked through the parking garage.

"Really?" She breathed, slightly relieved.

"Yes. She will, in all likelihood, purchase the first available plane ticket she can find, and fly out here."

"Oh God!" Penny cried, burying her face against his shoulder. Sheldon was obviously startled by the contact, but did not push her away. "Has your mother ever hit anyone?"

"Well, she did once punch our mail carrier trying to leer into Missy's window while she was changing."

Penny cringed. "Ew, really?"

"Yes, he was a disgusting man. He constantly smelled of hand lotion and unpleasant cologne samples that he would rip out of various magazines in the mail he delivered. We used to notice the cologne pages were torn out of our subscriptions." As soon as they entered the apartment building, they both stopped, shocked. "Mr. Jameson?" Sheldon asked, approaching their landlord, who was speaking with a few men.

Mr. Jameson was a heavyset man, with long, shaggy brown hair and a graying beard. He was quiet, never really one for talking with his tenants. It was a quality Sheldon respected and Penny enjoyed. (Though, the man was never shy about staring at Penny's body.)

An attribute Sheldon had never seemed to notice…until now.

"Hello Dr. Cooper. Penny." He nodded to both of them. "As you can see, I took your letter seriously and now your pregnant girlfriend won't have to walk up the stairs anymore. The elevator has been fixed."

"That quick?" Penny asked, slipping away from Sheldon and pressing the button. She squealed in delight as the button turned orange and the doors opened. "Holy smokes!"

"Yep, now your precious cargo can make it to the fourth floor with ease," the landlord said, stepping toward her, " It was an easy fix really, suppose I was just lazy and cheap. It was all electrical." Penny felt his hand fall to the small of her back and felt her skin crawl with discomfort. Thankfully, Sheldon interceded.

"Come Penny," he said, hooking an arm around her waist and pulling her away from the older man, "we need to attend to the problem of informing my mother of our situation" Guiding Penny into the elevator, he glared pointedly at Mr. Jameson, who had returned to his previous conversation.

"She's with that guy?" One of the men asked, as Penny glared and tried to peek through the slow closing doors.

Jameson laughed. "Yeah."

"Must be a pity thing."

Penny glanced up at Sheldon, who didn't seem to care, but damn it, she did! "No, he just has a massive di—"

Sheldon covered her mouth with his hand. "Penny!" He scolded, removing his hand when the doors shut before wiping his palm roughly on his pant leg. "That was entirely unnecessary."

"He was making fun of you." She hissed, still upset, as the elevator started to move upward.

He glanced at his palm, still moist from her where her mouth had been. "It is not something new to me, Penny. I have been dealing with the ineptitude and jealousy of others toward me, my entire life." There was no pain or sadness in his tone, but Penny wished there was something in it. A part of her knew that at some point, it must have bothered him.

"Well it's not okay with me. I don't like people talking badly about you! They don't even know you!" She insisted as they reached the fourth floor, and the door chimed again, opening as they left the excitement of the newly repaired elevator and Sheldon led her inside 4A.

"That is of my own choice, Penny. I choose not to know them."

Shutting the door behind them, Penny watched as Sheldon carefully hung his jacket over the back of his computer chair. "Still, if I ever hear someone talking about you like that, I'm going Nebraska on them."

"Does that mean you'll be giving them an ear of corn and tickets to a college football game?" He said as dryly as ever, though Penny couldn't help noticing the smallest, subtlest twitch of his lips upward. She glared at him playfully.

"No, it means I'm gonna go get my bat and make them apologize to you," She told him, tilting her head and stepping toward him, "Or I may just use it on you and your wise ass comments."

"As always you continue to set a wonderful example for our progeny." He sat in his spot and Penny followed, grinning and patting his cheek.

"Whatever, Sweetie, you're the one who wanted to get this over with so…call your mom."

He looked at the phone as if it had just called Spock an idiot. "Perhaps we should take in a movie, the new—"

"Sheldon, I've prepared myself for this now, we have to tell her and she'll be upset if you keep waiting."

Defeated, he sighed and grabbed the phone. (It was speed dial one, of course.) "Put it on speaker, I won't talk." Penny whispered, listening to the phone ring, even though his mother hadn't answered yet. The request confused him but he did as she asked and the ringing sounded through the apartment.

"Shelly?" His mother answered, apprehensively. "Sweetie, it's Sunday, you never call on Sundays. Is everything okay?"

Sheldon pursed his lips for a moment. "I am well, mother. I merely have some news that I wish to share with you."

"Shelly," Mary sighed, "if this is about that research grant you were going for on those dang cold matter whoseits then I'm not interested. The good Lord knows I tolerated that nonsense long enough last week, and my church group prayed for ya, there's not much else I can do."

"I am going to ignore the blatantly offensive comment that my work is, quote, nonsense, and get to my point. Mother…I have impregnated a female."

Penny covered her face in shock and embarrassment; of course he wouldn't ease his poor mother into the news. No, not Sheldon Lee Cooper. Dive right in and darn the consequences was his motto!

His mother started to chuckle, "Oh good heavens, Shelly. Have those friends of yours convinced you to prank call me? You know I don't appreciate you worrying me with a call on Sunday for these kinds of shenanigans."

"Mother, I assure you that I am not, nor have I ever been, one for shenanigans." He responded, looking to Penny, who had gone ghost white. "I am going to be a father."

The line fell silent. Penny and Sheldon shared a look when Mary did not answer for a long moment that seemed to stretch into hours. Penny swallowed, leaning over to make sure they were still connected. They were.

"Sheldon, this ain't funny okay?" Mary did not sound amused, "What's goin' on?"

"Mother, I am not making a joke," Sheldon sighed, "I have engaged in intercourse and the results are as they have been throughout the existence of the human race. I impregnated my neighbor."

"Oh God…" Penny moaned, slapping the hell out of his arm and making him yelp in pain.

"What was that?" Mary asked, shakily.

"The mother of my child," Sheldon answered, glaring at Penny, "though I'm beginning to have second thoughts about this arrangement."

"You're talking about that Penny aren't you?" His mother's tone was soft, almost broken and the guilt was really starting to hit Penny. She'd stolen Mary Cooper's innocent little boy. "She's there with you?"

"Yes, mother, I have us on speaker phone."

Another silence fell over the room. Penny built up all her courage, plastering on a smile for someone who couldn't see her and finding her voice.

"Hi Mary."

"Penny," the older woman said, in a voice that sounded frighteningly like Sheldon when he was aggravated with her. "Sheldon, take me off this blasted speaker phone, the echo is driving me up the wall!"

As if he'd just been ordered to clean his room, Sheldon turned off speaker phone and rose to his feet with the receiver to his ear. "Mother?"

Penny couldn't hear what was going on now. Watching Sheldon pace around the apartment like a mad man, she felt worry roil in the pit of her stomach, wondering if the baby could feel it too.

"We were slightly intoxicated." He paused, huffing, "No, Mother! I have not become an alcoholic. Yes I understand the risks…yes…Mother, please!" Sheldon whined, looking to Penny for help, but she shook her head. "I have not joined a cult. Why would I do such a thing, when you know how much I loathe the outdoors…and the dark?"

Sheldon fell silent as Mary Cooper began to rail at her son over the line, the tone of her voice audible in the silent apartment. Penny couldn't hear what she was saying, but she knew it couldn't be good judging by the wince on his face.

Finally, he spoke again, his tone a good decibel lower than before, "Yes, I'll tell her. See you next week. Goodbye Mother." He hung up the phone and set it back into the carrying before retaking his spot next to her.

"So she's coming?"

"Yes," Sheldon replied slowly, nodding, "and she is bringing along Missy and…my MeeMaw."

Penny buried her face in her hands and wondered how long it would take her to get across the Mexican border. "Oh Damn it, Sheldon this is gonna be terrible."

"Penny, my mother merely wishes to assess the situation for herself. She wanted me to inform you that she plans to have a 'chat' with you when she comes. They will all be arriving sometime next week. Missy is going to email the details to me."

Penny collapsed against Sheldon's shoulder, seeking comfort. An occurrence that had become regular for them. He never pulled away from her anymore, and, even though he didn't initiate any contact, he always offered her solace by allowing her to be close to him.

"So…your family next week, and mine the week after?" Penny asked, running her thumb over the back of his hand. When he shifted a little, Penny looked up to see him watching where her fingers were stroking his hand.

"It would seem as such, yes."

"And we're still dealing with Leonard and the gang adjusting to this?"

"Yes."

"And we're going to have a real live, tiny, wailing, screaming, pooping baby to take care of in nine months?" Penny felt a surge of panic overwhelm her, filling her senses like she was on a rocking boat and making her queasy.

Sheldon let out a slow exhale, taking it all in, "Yes."

"Sheldon?"

"Penny?"

"I'm sorry."

She threw up in his lap.