A word from the author:
I have to share my pain. The first episode of Merlin Season 4 is this Saturday (Oct. 1st) and I won't be able to watch it because I don't have BBC One. Why, oh why, isn't BBC Canada presenting this show? I think I will write an e-mail of outrage to the network.
If anyone has a link for a good site to watch the show, please please please let me know because I'm really going crazy.
Now, the chapter. Enjoy.
Chapter 21: In which Magic is not evil
Arthur Pendragon was standing next to his horse near the path in front of the Crossroads Inn, ready to leave. They had changed their clothes so that they would not be recognized; except Gaius whose comings and goings were less likely to be noticed. Arthur was now wearing a long and muddy brown coat which Merlin had said made him look "kind of wild". Gwaine, Lancelot and Leon had borrowed clothes from the assassins and they were now all dressed in black. Merlin, who was still unsteady on his feet and shivering all over (though he was trying to hide it), had traded the green druid cloak for a warmer one, heavy and black, that belonged to Iseldir himself. The former manservant looked outlandish in the heavy material especially since it was too big for him, but he didn't seem as bothered by it as he was by his new status of 'sorcerer'.
Not to mention he's also my cousin, thought Arthur, suddenly feeling the full weight of this information like a knot in his stomach. Another heir to the throne. If anybody knew...
He tried to shake off the idea. He had heard stories of kingdoms being thorn apart by feuding heirs, but Merlin would never seek to usurp the throne. That was a ridiculous notion. His loyalty could not be doubted. It was the loyalties of others such as Agravaine that Arthur now feared. But he couldn't ask his friend to share the burden yet. It was too soon. Merlin had not fully recovered from being almost dead. Unsteady as he was, news like that was likely to finish him off.
The druid and the young sorcerer were now speaking in hushed voices a short distance from where Arthur was. Technically the prince wasn't eavesdropping, but still he could not stop himself from listening discreetly to the private conversation, just as a way to put his mind on another topic.
"I wish I knew how to guide you, I really do, but the truth is that I have very little experience," Iseldir was saying softly to Merlin.
"My magic – It's too powerful. I feel like I'm on the edge of loosing control. I never had this problem before. Magic was always natural for me, like breathing." Merlin's voice was strained, full of doubt.
Iseldir was shaking his head. "I'm afraid I am powerless to help you, as are the rest of my people."
"I'm sorry," Merlin began to say.
"Don't be," cut in Iseldir. "To see you standing here brings me more hope than you can possibly imagine, Emrys. All is not lost."
Merlin's face was half-hidden under his hood so that Arthur could not make out his expression.
"Everything feels... wrong," Merlin managed to say. And then his voice became a whisper. "Why me?"
"These things are not clear," said the druid.
Merlin snorted mildly. "You sound like Kilgharrah."
"Who is that?"
"The Great Dragon."
Of course, thought Arthur, laughing inwardly at the irony. Merlin is a sorcerer. Why shouldn't he have a dragon to speak to? How could I be foolish enough to think that I could have killed the Great Dragon all on my own? It was Merlin all along.
He half-expected to learn shortly that Merlin could fly, talk to unicorns, command the wind and change his appearance. It had been unrealistic enough to imagine Merlin as a physician, to picture him as a sorcerer was plain ludicrous. Yet, somehow, it had happened. Merlin was speaking about his magic being like breathing. How on Earth could he possibly have missed that?
"Then Kilgharrah is right," the druid was saying. "It is never certain why some people carry the fate of the world on their shoulders. I suppose that we should be thankful that the burden has landed on you."
Merlin's face twisted painfully. "How can you possibly say that? All those creatures –lifeless – turned to stone..."
Iseldir stopped him at once. "Now is not the time. You must put the guilt aside and focus on what you can change. Only you can restore the flow."
"By killing Morgause."
Iseldir became almost impatient. "She is already gone. You will only be ending her suffering. Listen to me, Emrys. Your magic is like a river. It flows with many twists and turns and it can take you places you never dreamed off. But you must be careful not to loose yourself on the way. If the blind girl knows anything about our ways she would have given you a connection, something to guide you back from the Other World. Find that connection and do not loose it."
Merlin's glance turned towards Arthur and the prince tried to look inconspicuous, brushing the top of his horse's saddle and deciding at that moment that it was time to get on.
When he glanced back at Merlin, the druid was pressing both hands on the young warlock's shoulders.
"You will not fail us, Emrys. Much of what's happening now has been foreseen. Farewell. We will see each other again and on happier circumstances I hope."
Merlin bid farewell to the druid as well, a little reluctantly. The other druids had already disappeared into the dark woods and Iseldir went in after them and with a final glance back at Arthur and his knights. Morgana's black assassins were to stay behind (they were tied up like sausages) under the watchful eyes of Dragonet the innkeeper until help could be sent from Camelot. Sir Leon could now be seen giving instructions to the big bald man while Lancelot was helping Gaius unto his horse.
"Bit strange, these druids," Arthur said offhandedly as Merlin mounted the horse beside him. "They always seem to know more about what's going on than we do."
Merlin glared at him from under his hood. "Maybe they're just smarter."
But the question that was burning Arthur came out in spite of him. "Why does he call you Emrys?"
Merlin avoided his glance. Arthur could see him shuddering. "Don't know. And if you don't mind, I have other things on my mind."
"You're not going to kill Morgause," snapped Arthur. "I will."
Merlin's horse circled around his. "And you're planning to get pass Morgana how exactly?"
Arthur tried his best not to sound too smug. "You're going to distract her."
Merlin's doubtful expression turned into a smirk. "I'm not doing all the work just so you can have the glory. This time, I'm keeping some for me."
And then he sent his horse forward, taking the lead. Arthur immediately went after him while yelling frantically, "What do you mean by 'this time'?"
They rode as fast as their horses would carry them, slowing down only to allow Gaius to catch up with them. Arthur and Merlin were following each other, alternating in the lead when the road allowed it. Gwaine and Lancelot were close behind, followed by Gaius and finally Leon at the rear. The sun was getting low on the horizon when they reached the city walls and there they set their horses free and continued on foot, hoping to attract as little attention to their party as possible. However, the long ride had taken its toll on Merlin who almost collapsed as soon as he touched the ground. He stumbled forward, helped by Gwaine and Gaius, but after a short while he asked them for a break, leaning back heavily on the stone wall of Camelot.
Gaius handed him a piece of bread and some dried fruits, but he shook his head in refusal.
"You have to eat something, Merlin."
"No, I feel sick to my stomach." He looked even paler than when he had been lying in bed at the Crossroads Inn. He seemed to be struggling just to stay on his feet.
Arthur was watching him and stroking his chin pensively. He had to remain in control of the situation. He couldn't allow his emotions to take over even if what he wanted to do was put Merlin in a cart, put a blanket on him and let him sleep for three days. However, if Morgana was running around freely in Camelot, people could die, and Merlin could very well be among them; or Gwen, or his father, or even his obnoxious uncle Agravaine. No one was safe.
"Does she know we're here?" He asked in a low voice.
Merlin shook his head silently.
"We could raise the alarm, Sire," offered Leon. "Then she will have no choice but to flee."
However, Arthur knew that he could not raise the alarm without alerting Morgana and risking her making a rash decision. She might change her plans drastically, or unleash her magic against all that stood in her way. This left him with very few options.
"No, we mustn't let her know of our presence," said Arthur, glancing back at his knights. "I want her cornered. I want her to be trapped. That's why we put Morgause in the cave in the first place; to lure Morgana in."
He turned his attention back to Merlin. The prince knew exactly what he needed to ask of him, but his better judgement was telling him to give the young sorcerer a few more minutes to rest.
Then at the same time the sorcerer's eyes lost their focus and his entire body shuddered violently.
This can't be good, thought Arthur instantly.
Merlin's eyes snapped open and he peered at Arthur. "She's in the courtyard. We have to hurry."
Unsteady as he was, Merlin still would not loose another minute and Arthur had to admire his determination. They made their way speedily in the lower town with Leon leading the way and Gwaine indicating shortcuts here and there (he obviously knew his way around). Every few steps, Arthur glanced back at Merlin and to his great dismay the young sorcerer did not seem to be keeping up with the pace. His eyes were tired with dark circles under them, his skin was pale, and he kept stumbling on his shaky legs, grabbing Gaius or Lancelot's arm whenever he was about to tip over. Two times he had to stop to lean against a wall and his face contorted painfully.
The third time, he seemed to be struggling even more. He swayed slightly but when Gaius tried to catch his arm, he brushed him off stubbornly and leaned a hand on a nearby barrel instead, panting heavily.
"Merlin, you're not well…" the old physician began to say.
Merlin glared at him defiantly. "It doesn't matter!" he burst out. "We have to do something now!"
Arthur's heart sank. They couldn't keep waiting on Merlin; he would just have to pull him.
"Sire! This is madness!" cried out the physician.
Arthur meant to reply but he stumbled backwards instead, having come face to face with a solid wall of chain mail.
"Arthur! – I mean, my Lord!" cried out the Elyan in surprise. As his glance darted from the prince to the other people who were following him, his expression turned from shock to horror. "Holly Cow!" he breathed out. "That's Merlin! But Merlin is dead! We buried him! What the Hell is this?"
But Arthur was quick. He had already pressed both hands on the young knight's shoulders. "He's alive, Elyan. You must trust me. We're after Morgana. She's trying to get to Morgause."
Elyan became alert at once. "We know. She was spotted in the lower town. Agravaine had the guard doubled everywhere. Arthur – Sire – the guards are saying that Morgana still has magic."
"So do we," said Arthur, staring back at Merlin.
However, as he glanced back at the young warlock, he saw that Merlin had crumbled to the ground with his back against a cart. Gaius was kneeling beside him, powerless.
Merlin was grabbing his head. His voice was barely a whisper. "She's hiding in a dark corner. The whole castle is stirring. Agravaine shouldn't have done that. Too many guards. Too much noise. She's getting angry."
Then his body shivered violently and he bent over in pain. Arthur kneeled beside him at once, grabbing him on the shoulder and arm as he swayed forward. But as soon as he touched Merlin's wrist, something strange happened. A tickling sensation passed through Arthur's hand, like little sparks. Merlin must have felt it too on his wrist because he jerked his arm away instantly.
"Did you feel that?" cried out Arthur.
Merlin was staring at him in shock. His eyes darted to Arthur's hand and he seized it, turning it over, feeling his palm and his fingers, checking the prince's wrist. In his excitement, he let the hood fall off his head; the sorcerer had reverted back to being the physician's apprentice.
"Freya," he muttered after he had examined Arthur's hand and forearm. "She placed a kind of magic on you. You – You're my connection."
"What are you so pleased about?" Gwaine said all-of-a-sudden. He had been quiet up until now, watching Merlin like a hawk.
"Nothing. It's just… perfect," Merlin said dreamily.
But they couldn't get sidetracked. Morgana was inside the castle and she was angry; nothing could be worse. What if she tried something impulsive like killing her father?
Without even realising it, Arthur had stood up and he was now close to Leon.
"You and Elyan will get to the castle ahead of us and gather as many guards as you can in the dungeons. That's where we'll cut her off. And get Agravaine to go with you. I'd rather have him with us than working against us. Go."
As soon as he had finished, Sir Leon and Elyan left at a run.
Then Arthur kneeled in front of Merlin again. This time he had a request for the young warlock, and from the look of pain on his face, it wasn't going to be easy.
"Merlin, I need you to guide Morgana through the castle. Use your magic to show her the way, open doors, distract guards, until she reaches the cave. That's where I'll confront her. I don't want her going anywhere else."
Gaius opened his mouth to protest, but then he saw Merlin's expression change and he seemed to abandon the idea of arguing straight away.
"Are you asking me to do magic?" said the warlock almost in amusement.
His forehead was covered in sweat and he brushed the water from his eyes. Arthur couldn't help but smile. Merlin was still Merlin after all.
"I'm ordering you, actually."
Standing up, the prince presented his hand to the sorcerer who took it to pull himself off the ground. Gaius took Merlin's arm and his pupil leaned on it, accepting the help after all.
After only a few seconds to gather his strength, he spoke resolutely. "Are you sure you're ready for this? Being seen with a sorcerer, I mean."
"I've been seen with an idiot for the last four years. I don't see how this is any different," said Arthur, pressing a hand on his shoulder.
"This will be different." He brought his hand close to his mouth and then he whispered, "Fromum feohgiftum on fæder bearme!"
A ball of clear blue light appeared out of thin air in the palm of Merlin's hand. It was pure and beautiful like a bubble of fresh water from a mountain lake. When Arthur glanced around him, however, he saw that the knights had taken a step back and that the peasants and merchants were rooted on the spot, horror-struck. One guard, alerted by the sudden silence, even drew out his sword and began to march towards them, but Lancelot stopped him at once.
"It's all right," said the knight to all who could hear him. "You mustn't fear."
Merlin was muttering under his breath now. "Morgana, follow the light. Go down the stairs now. Go."
His expression was unyielding and obstinate. He was still exhausted; Arthur could tell by the way he wasn't quite standing up straight and glancing at Gaius for support. But his determination was the same now as it had been every time they had faced death together.
"It's working," he said, his eyes focused on the ball of light.
"What now?" Gwaine asked. He was staring at the magic orb as well.
But Arthur was concerned for Merlin in spite the urgency of the situation. "Can you keep up?"
Merlin's only answer was to release the ball of light so that it floated freely in front of him, and then he started to follow it at a quick pace.
"Follow the light," uttered Gwaine with a meaningful glance at Arthur.
The three of them took the lead with Gaius following closely behind. Arthur did not even bother shouting orders at the guards that they met on their way. He had to focus on what lay ahead. The safety of his people and of Camelot was his priority. It was almost hard to believe that no one had died yet.
Merlin was still leading the blue orb in front of them when they entered the courtyard, and when they reached the bottom of the stairs he had to stop to catch his breath.
"She's in the tunnels below the castle," he mumbled, leaning against the stone wall and wiping the sweat of his brow.
Arthur meant to run up the stairs with or without Merlin, but he was stopped short when Gwaine grabbed him by the arm.
"Have you thought about what you're going to do, princess? How do you intent to confront her? She's a powerful evil witch, in case you haven't noticed, and Merlin isn't exactly on top of his game."
"Gwaine's right," continued Lancelot. "What's your plan?"
The prince's only answer was to draw his sword. In truth, he was scared to death, but he couldn't let two of his best knights know that. He was a man of action, trained to fight since birth, and he knew nothing else. If he had any chance of defeating her, it was using the only mean with which he would have the advantage.
"That's your plan?" burst out Gwaine.
They were cut off by a sudden yell. "Arthur! Merlin!"
The prince wheeled around and he saw Gaius running towards him, red-faced and clutching his chest. And as he followed the physician's glance, he saw to his horror a familiar body lying face-first on the ground, motionless.
The scream that escaped him didn't even sound like his own. He threw himself next to Merlin before the physician had even time to move.
"Come on, Merlin! Don't you dare die on me again!"
He shook the frail shoulders and then, to his relief, he heard a soft moan. The young warlock wasn't dead, but he had fainted and he was struggling to get up. The ball of light had vanished.
"Sire, he cannot face Morgana like this," Gaius said forcefully as soon as he reached Merlin.
But the physician's recommendations were immediately forgotten as Merlin began to voice out words that brought fear to the prince's heart. "Arthur, your father…"
"What?" the prince bellowed. "What's wrong?"
"It's your father. He's not well. You have to go to him now, and you have to take Gaius with you."
The prince did not need telling twice. He glanced rapidly at Gwaine and Lancelot, and then he took off at a run. He climbed the stairs two by two and did not even stop when Gaius called out his name. He knew the quickest way to his father's bedchambers and he followed it without a thought. With each step, his world seemed to be crumbling down. His father couldn't die. He simply couldn't. He didn't want to rule yet. He wasn't ready. He didn't feel ready. There was still so much that he wanted to do. He wanted to know more about magic. That door had never been opened before but now with Merlin he had the possibility of walking through it and seeing what lay beyond with his own eyes. But if his father died now, it would only feel like a betrayal. He had to be alive so that Arthur could make him understand that magic wasn't altogether evil…
It is with this thought that he flung the door of his father's bedchambers opened. The room was utterly empty but for a still figure lying on the four-poster bed. The prince stepped in closer carefully, afraid that he may make a horrifying discovery.
But he didn't. His father was sleeping uneasily, turning in his sleep and moaning softly. The chair (Gwen's chair) beside his bed was empty.
"Where's Guinevere?" muttered the prince, picking up a fallen white shawl from the floor.
Gaius had reached the bedchamber as well and he was now assessing the king's condition.
The physician let out a sigh of relief. "His pulse is weak for a man his age but steady nonetheless. He's not in anymore danger than he was yesterday."
"Then why would Merlin tell us…?"
Gaius froze in shock and so did the prince.
How could I be so stupid? Arthur thought instantly. His head was spinning. Merlin, what have you done?
And then he took off at a run.
Author's note:
Sorry this took a long time to write. Writing action is always the hardest and I had to re-write this chapter twice to get the pace that I wanted. So I hope you enjoyed it!
In the next chapter, Merlin will confront Morgana…