I have no idea what to say other than thank you guys so much and I hope you enjoy the next chapter!
Monster?
She just called him a monster? Yes, she did. She did and it killed him...literally. His heart stopped for a few seconds, he stopped breathing, and he felt colder than ever.
Monster.
It was such a hideous word and she called her "lovely Loki" that. Monster. Not only did she say it once, but she mumbled it a few times after that.
"You monster. How... why... you... you monster. You monster." Was all she could say and soon her eyes drifted from his and searched the floor for answers or advice. Anything at this point.
Monster. And he thought hearing her saying it once was bad.
He regained his composure and restarted his heart. He was alive again, but just barely. He still couldn't truly believe what was going on. He better believe it because it happened.
He cleared his throat and attempted to speak, but no sound came out. Again he tried, but still nothing. He couldn't speak. No. Not his voice, not his words, not his tongue. The worlds and fate could take every power he possessed, but never his silver tongue. He forced the words to come out, he forced himself to speak. That was one part of him that no one would ever be able to claim or beat. His silver tongue.
"What did she say?" He asked, knowing all too well that in order for Sigyn to be this distraught it had to be Freya who told her and not Njord. Njord would have told her calmly and patiently like Loki would have if he was given the chance.
He was going to tell her. Truly he was. He was going to tell her tomorrow, in their runaway home, by the hearth, with a warm and cozy fire blazing. He would apologize for his actions, say he has changed, say that she has changed him because she has. He was going to tell her everything. From the navel attack to the captain, from the rebel's camp to Thormod's city. He would have told her it all, but he wasn't given the chance. It wasn't fair. Part of him was so heartbroken and so destroyed, but the other half raged with fury and anger.
How dare she do this to him! That evil serpent, Freya! If only the gods and goddess saw just how evil and poisonous the creature who lurked the realms was. Loki was sure she wasn't a goddess. Loki was sure she didn't have a soul. She had a black hole where her heart should be.
Sigyn still didn't look at him which was good because for the first time ever, he didn't look at her. He couldn't. Not after she had called him that. Monster. He would have taken every living being in the entire Nine Realms calling him a hex rather than hearing Sigyn mutter that word his way. Monster.
"Mother told me everything. Actually, grandfather started off with Angrboda and then mother told me about everything. Th naval attack, the decoration of the ship with the heads and bodies, the torture you inflicted upon the captain, how you brutally murdered him and sent his body parts to Thormod. She also mentioned you bathing in the blood of your victims, killing all the rebels, killing the entire city. An entire city of innocent people. Ripping babies apart?" She looked up at him, tears streaming down her cheeks. She didn't want to believe it, but Loki never protested. He never interrupted her. She had hoped he would have. To say 'that's not true' to something. Anything. But he never did. Instead he stayed silent telling Sigyn that every word her mother had told her was nothing, but the cold hard truth. He did all those things.
"Babies Loki? What could you possibly hope to gain?" He didn't answer, didn't even look at her. It was like he was ignoring her, but he wasn't. He was soaking in her words, her mood, her tempo. Trying to figure how he could ease the situation. How he could find away to not lose her.
"All those innocent people, Loki?" Now he shook his head.
"There are no innocent people during a time of war. Sigyn, you should know that. You were taught that." Still, he didn't look at her.
"That doesn't mean I agree with it. I'm not going to go and slaughter a city of innocent people because that is what I was taught...or because my freedom depended on it."
Now that just got him mad. How difficult was it to see that he did not do it for his freedom? It must be really hard if not even Sigyn could see it. "I didn't do it for my freedom." He snapped, but still no eye contact was made.
"Then why, Loki? Why did you do that?"
"No one seems to believe the reason."
"Tell me the reason."
"Not even you would believe me. No one ever does."
"I have believed you more than anyone else in all the Nine Realms."
"That doesn't mean you'll believe everything."
"As your girlfriend I demand you tell me." Her teeth clenched and her fists tightened, but Loki just chuckled.
"You demand me?" He said and stole a glance at her eyes. He thought maybe because she mentioned the word 'girlfriend' that she wouldn't seem so fierce. Man, was he off. She looked as angry as a dragon who let the princess getaway. So, his eyes quickly shifted away from hers. He couldn't stand to see the disappointment within them.
"You don't demand me, Sigyn. We aren't married yet." He tried to lighten the mood, but it didn't work. She was too angry right now.
"Loki, by all the gods and the Norns above, tell me what the fuck you were hoping to gain when you killed all those giants! When you butchered all those giants!" Still Loki didn't answer and Sigyn couldn't take it anymore.
"YOU FUCKING HEX! WHAT WERE YOU TRYING TO PROVE!?"
That did it. Loki's body shut down again, but this time it stayed that way. His heart gave out, his eyes rolled into the back of his head, his skin turned white and his hair turned gray. He collapsed to the floor and there he laid as a corpse.
"Loki?" She asked, now hearing for the first time what she had said.
Did she really just say that? She called him a hex? A hex? She screamed it, even. Screamed at the top of her lungs. She was so miserable about other people's deaths, stranger's deaths, that she had paid no mind to Loki's at all. She had just killed him for the second time.
"Oh the Norns, what did I just say?" She covered her mouth and ran to Loki's side. "Loki? Loki, please, wake up. I didn't mean it. I swear I didn't mean it. Please, please wake up. Loki, please." Her sobs grew stronger as she shook his body, that sizzling sensation coming from her hands as she touched his hot flesh, but yet she did not burn.
Guilt over flowed in her chest and her heart started beating out of rhythm. The tears gushed out of her eyes like waterfalls and her whole face turned red from her sobs. They weren't going to take Loki today. Not today. No, the Norns couldn't have him. She had to get him to Jocelyn and she had to get him there now, but how? He wouldn't survive the carriage ride there, he would have been dead for too long. Sigyn knew what she had to do.
She pulled his body onto her lap and she wrapped her arms tightly around him. She wasn't going to let him die, no matter how mad she was at him. It was Loki and no matter what he did, she could never wish for his death and if she could prevent it she would. She held him as close as ever and whispered the very words he had said to her not too long ago. Three words that started this whole adventure. Three words that was the beginning of their relationship.
"Don't let go."
With a flash of green, the two were gone.
Jocelyn laid in her bed, staring up at the ceiling while Fandrid paced the floor. Her crying had stopped, but the pain in her chest didn't. She had cried too much that night that she had no tears left to shed. Fandrid was doing the panicking part for her.
"I mean, can he really do that? Marry royalty, the youngest royal, off to a Healer? It doesn't make sense. Why would Odin do that? Why?" Fandrid asked as his pacing only increased with every step. He still didn't believe what was going on and honestly thought this was all just some sick joke Loki had come up with it. It wasn't. Still, Fandrid tried to find every nonexistent flaw in the imaginary scheme of Loki.
"He is the All Father, brother. He could do whatever he wants. If he wants to marry me off to Loki he can do just that."
"But shouldn't you have a say?"
"It's like you said, brother. I am a Healer. I have no say in anything. The only Healer who's voice is heard is that of Eir's, but only because she is a goddess. I am no one, but a girl with tiny fingers, a steady hand, and few tricks up her sleeve."
Fandrid finally stopped pacing. Good. It was giving Jocelyn a headache for some reason. "You're much more than that sister." He honestly spoke and Jocelyn smiled just a crack. She didn't want Fandrid to see. She wanted to be alone in her grief.
"When are you going to tell Jorge?" Her brother finally asked the inevitable and Jocelyn tightened her jaw. She had thought about, it wasn't like she hasn't. She had that decision already made, but she wasn't sure if it would stay the way it is.
"I figured Loki should tell him, but of course I'll go with him." She answered and listening to it playback in her head now, she realized it was a bloody awful idea, but she was too tired to argue.
Fandrid took a seat on the edge of his sister's bed and looked at her. He just looked at her. Not as his sister, not as a Healer, not even as Jocelyn. He just looked at her like she was an ordinary woman. You would never be able to guess she was about to marry a member of the royal family.
Most woman would be out getting fitted for their wedding gowns and asking for a ring to slip onto their finger. But not Jocelyn. She had been crying for hours and they were not tears of joy.
"You know, you can still marry Jorge." He finally said. Jocelyn looked at him and elevated her head a bit so she could really see her brother. "What?" She asked, truly unsure if she had heard him correctly. "You can still marry Jorge. Aesir can have more than one spouse."
"Yes, Aesir men, brother. Not Aesir women. No, they are bound to one husband, but that husband can claim as many wives as he pleases." Jocelyn corrected him and laid back down, looking up into the nothingness.
"Yes, I understand that, sister. However, the law clearly states that if a royal marries a woman to a second husband the marriage is legal. Say for example you marry me," She stuck out her tongue in disgust. "Let me finish." He snapped and Jocelyn rolled her eyes. Fandrid and Jocelyn had the same 'sexual' relationship as Freya and Frey. They weren't into each other. Not one bit. "Say, for example, you marry me. Loki could marry you to Jorge and that marriage would be legal because it was performed by a royal. Do you get what I'm saying?" Fandrid asked and Jocelyn sat up straight, a bit disgusted by what her brother said.
"Yes, brother, I understand, but there are two flaws in your devious plan. One, if I marry Loki and Jorge I'll be marked as a whore or Loki's harlot and I really don't want to be remembered as Jocelyn the Harlot. Another issue is the fact that I could never ever ask Loki to do that. I could never ask Thor or Balder or any other royal to do that. It wouldn't be fair."
"It's not fair that you have to marry a man you are not in love with."
"You and I both agree on that as does Loki, but he will be my husband if we can't fix this. He deserves a loving and loyal wife for he would have to give up the most important person to him in all the Nine Realms. If he marries me he has to give up Sigyn because Vanir law only allows one husband or one wife. If he must give up Sigyn then I must make a sacrifice, too. I have to give up Jorge. It's only fair." Jocelyn felt a tear stream down her cheek. Looks like she gained some more after her short break from shedding them because right after that tear had fallen another one followed right behind it.
Fandrid cradled his sister in his arms and held her tightly. "Jocelyn, we'll figure this out together. You'll see. Everything is going to be fine." Fandrid had never lied to his sister before, but now was the appropriate time. Truth be told, Fandrid had no idea what was going to happen. Was she really going to get married to Loki? Loki wouldn't allow it...would he? Could he even stop it?
He'll find a way. Fandrid told himself. He always does. However, Fandrid questioned that very statement. Could Loki get them out of this?
The moment and questioning was put on hold though when a sudden cry for help came from outside Jocelyn's window. "Jocelyn! Jocelyn!" It screamed and the Healer knew that voice anywhere. "Sigyn!" She pulled away from her brother and ran to her window. She gazed down at the ground below and saw Sigyn in tears, holding Loki's body so extremely close to her. He looked like shit. "Loki!" Jocelyn exclaimed when she caught sight of her fiancé wrapped in Sigyn's arms. "Please, help me!" Sigyn called up to her and Jocelyn nodded. "Stay right there!" She called back and she heard Sigyn cry, "He's burning again!" Jocelyn nodded and tugged on Fandrid's arm.
"Come on!" She said as she grabbed a pair of leather gloves off her dresser.
"What is it?" He asked and Jocelyn ran out of the room. "It's Loki!" She called back and Fandrid was quick to follow her. He already had a pair of gloves on as part of his uniform for work. The two ran to the front door and just as Jocelyn had seen Sigyn and Loki before is the same as she saw them now, only Sigyn looked worse.
"I don't hear his heart beating." Sigyn sobbed making it almost impossible for Jocelyn to understand. There was no time to waste. They had to get him inside and they had to get him warm. Thank the Norns there was still a fire in the hearth downstairs.
"Brother, grab his legs. I'll take his arms." Jocelyn said and scurried over to the corpse of Loki. "Please, be careful Jocelyn. Please help him." Sigyn wept and Jocelyn gave Sigyn a reassuring touch on the cheek before grabbing Loki. "I'll do everything I can to save him, Sig. I promise." She nodded and the twins got to work, picking Loki up and carrying him inside.
They laid him down on the floor right next to the hearth. Fandrid was quick to add more logs to the fire to keep the blaze as strong and as mighty as ever. Jocelyn wrapped him up in blankets and blankets and anything else they could find. Quilts, sheets, furs, clothing, anything and everything went on top of Loki's body and yet he remained that frozen white color. This was worse than the last time. Jocelyn didn't know what to do.
"What happen?" She asked Sigyn as she covered Loki in her father's only fur cloak. Sigyn, shamefully, mumbled the words, "We had a fight and I...I did this to him. I...I called him...I called him a hex. I called him hex." Jocelyn and Fandrid's eyes grew wide and Sigyn buried her face in her hands. She rested her head on Loki's chest and cried deeply within it. She would never be able to forgive herself for what she has done today. This is what her mother wanted. She was probably laughing about it right now (and as a matter of fact, she was). "It should've been me!" She cried into his chest and Jocelyn tried to pry her away from the corpse. She wasn't relieved that Loki was dead. Jocelyn was heartbroken. Despite everything, he was still her closest friend next to Sigyn.
"Don't say things like that, Sigyn." Jocelyn said as she struggled to pull Sigyn off him, but it wasn't working. Sigyn kept a tight grip on the corpse and screamed, "No! No! No! I should go to hell! I deserve to go to hell! Niflheim, please take me now! Down into your deep, dark, icy depths! Take me down and keep me forever away from Valhalla for I do not deserve to go! Never should I see its golden gates for I am unworthy of its greatness!"
Fandrid turned to his sister in absolute defeat. Turning to her for answers, for hope, for something other than defeat and despair "Jocelyn, what do you do?" He asked, tears pooling in his eyes and Jocelyn shook her head. "We can do nothing, brother." She said helplessly. "Loki is gone. He rests in Valhalla now." Tears came out of Jocelyn's eyes again and streamed down her cheeks. Sigyn continued to damn herself to hell, and Fandrid shook his head vigorously.
"No. No, he can't be dead. Why is his body burning if he is dead?" He asked and Jocelyn explained. "It's still reacting. Its master has died, the magic does not know what to do. It is protecting every piece of evidence that he is still alive. It's burning itself out holding onto the nothingness that is now Loki. Loki, its host, has died and so it must die, too. It is committing suicide by trying to live. Trying to protect the host that is lifeless. It will be dead in a matter of minutes." She shrugged and covered her own face in her hands.
Not Loki. Not him. He didn't deserve this. Fandrid's eyes released streams of tears against his will. "No, there has to be something we can do. There has to be..." He trailed off and fell to the floor beside his best friend's, his brother's, corpse. He placed his hand on Loki's body that was still covered in layers upon layers.
Sigyn's face rested in the area between Loki's head and shoulder as she held him tightly by the abdomen. She continued to mumble into his ear, "Niflheim take me far far away. May Loki go to Valhalla and I be demanded every dead life dead." An ancient prayer said by those who wished to go to hell, only Sigyn had added Loki's name to it. She wanted to go to hell for what she has done. She killed Loki. She deserved to go to hell.
Black. It was all black. Everything was black. There was no light, no color, no sounds other than his inhales and exhales. Where was he? He snapped his fingers as if his thumb were a lighter and held up the small flame that illuminated from his finger. Still nothing. There was nothing to be seen. He had fallen into the nothingness.
"There is no need to hold a candle to the darkness when there is nothing to see." A woman's voice said. He turned on his heels and spotted her. She stood not too far away from him and his small little flame burned so bright that he was able to see her details even though she stood a few feet away.
She was maybe up to his shoulders and very skinny. It looked like she hadn't eaten in weeks. She had long raven black hair that flowed down to her waist like Sigyn's did. She was pale and wore a deep navy blue dress that covered nearly every inch or her body. Her head was hanging down as if shameful of her appearance or her being there. She wore a black vail, but only on one side of her hidden face. Loki has never seen her before. Who was she?
"There is you." He spoke up. "You are something to see."
"Not really." She answered and stayed where she was. A moment of silence fell over the two and she finally spoke again to break it. "You're dead, Loki." She said it as if it was something normal to say. However, Loki just smiled and nodded. "I know." He whispered.
"But your magic isn't. It is currently in the process of doing so right now. However, I put us on hold for a moment." She said and Loki only grew confused.
"I'm sorry, what do you mean by 'hold'?" He asked and the woman spoke again. "I froze time and bought you here so that I may speak with you. It is very important." Loki's blinking was his response to her statement. Seeing that he wan't going to talk until he got the whole concept, she continued.
"I thought you should know a few things before anything else transpires. First things first, you are going to marry Jocelyn. You can't escape it. I have seen it myself. It will happen." Loki swallowed, but remained silent still. "You're going to have children. Lots and lots of children. Freya will marry Odin and they will have a son who will murder your babies." What the fuck kind of future was that?
"Is there any way I can prevent all of that?" Loki asked and the girl nodded. "Yes, Loki. There is a way to prevent that. First, you have to give Sigyn time. Right now, she is damning herself to hell because she called you a hex. You didn't die because she called you a hex. You did because of a physical tear in your heart that your magic went into 'maniac mode' to save you. Your magic killed you, not Sigyn.
"Don't murder anyone the day of your wedding to whomever it may be. Don't do it. The last thing, screw with Freya so much that she vows to leave you alone from now on." Loki nodded happily with that last statement. "Oh, I could do that." He said and was shocked when the ghost like figure let out a chuckle.
"Well, that is all you need to know. I'll send you back now." She said and held her arms out in front of her. Loki noticed that one hand wore a silk white glove while the other did not. Was she a half person or something? Someone who is only into having half of their body decorated, but not the other. Anyway, Loki paid no mind to it, but rather asked, "Who are you?"
To that, the woman just smiled, not lifting her head or removing her vail. Instead, she just said, "We haven't met yet, but we will in time. A princess. I am a princess."
"A princess? What kind of princess?"
"A princess. I am a princess." Was what she responded so Loki just took it.
"And you can send me back? How can you do that?" He asked, but she just answered him like the way she has been doing.
"A princess. I am a princess." She must have some magical powers if she was able to send him back. Considering the fact that she was nice enough to save him so he could get his life together, Loki nodded to the fact that she was a princess and didn't push for anymore questions other than one.
"Why are you doing this for me?" With that, the girl lifted her head just a bit and the eye that was not covered by the black vail Loki could see. It was a deep blue eye, like the beach's ocean. The one he had taken Sigyn to. A smile played at her lips, but he could only see half of it for the vail covered everything on the other side. It was hidden. Invisible because of that vail.
"A princess. I am a princess." Was all she said before Loki was gone.
Jocelyn was holding Loki's hand tightly with her gloves on. Fandrid continued to weep into his hands and the hearth's once mighty fire was beginning to die. Sigyn laid next to Loki, her head still resting between his head and shoulder. She still held his abdomen tightly, pulling him close to her. She was not thinking about letting go. Despite everything he did, she was never truly going to let go. She loved him too much to let go.
She kept mumbling the words into his ear as if trying to sooth him back to life. "Don't let go." She whispered as her eyes kept producing tears. Down her cheeks the tears rolled and her eyes remained a faint red. It had been hours and yet, Sigyn wasn't giving up on Loki. She would never give up on Loki. She would never let go. "Don't let go. Don't let go. Don't let go."
"I'll never let go." A voice said and Sigyn popped up as fast as ever. She stared down at Loki and saw his eyes halfway open as the color was starting to reappear on his face. "Loki!" She shouted and pressed her lips to his as hard as ever. She didn't care that he looked awful, she didn't care he had just died and was dead for almost four hours, she didn't care about anything other than the fact that Loki was alive. He was here. He wasn't letting go.
"Loki!" Jocelyn shouted and wiped her eyes as did Fandrid. They huddled close to him and when Sigyn finally released his lips from her own he pushed all of the layers off of himself. "Get this off. It is too damn hot." He said and sat up straight. He felt great! Like he had more energy than ever.
"Loki, what the hell happened to you?" Fandrid asked as he cleansed his eyes with the back of his sleeve. Loki smiled before saying, "Oh, Fandrid, no need to hide your concerns. I could hear you crying." The boy just rolled his eyes and kept cleansing them from the sting.
"I died, yes." Loki began to explain. "But it wasn't you, my sweet Sigyn, that killed me." He grabbed her hand in his and held it tightly, locking eyes with her. "It was my magic. You know of its great powers. There was a sudden tear in my heart that caused my magic to go chaotic to try and save me. In doing so, my body, in a way, overloaded so to speak from my magic's attempts at saving me. It was too much for my body to handle so I died, but my magic didn't. It was killing itself by continuing to grow even though my body had shut down. It was burning itself out."
"How did you survive?' Jocelyn asked and Loki looked over to her. He shrugged his shoulders, truly not understanding how it was that the princess saved him.
"I don't know. There was someone there. A woman, well not really a woman, she seemed more like a girl. She was there and she sent me back. That is how I returned. She didn't explain why or how, she just told me she would send me back and she did."
"So, wait, where exactly did you go?" Fandrid asked and everyone seemed to be thinking the same thing.
"I don't know. It was all dark and so I lit my thumb to see if there was anything there. Alls I saw was the girl and she sent me back. I don't even know her name." Loki explained.
"Do you think it is possible she is an angel?" Jocelyn suggested.
"She didn't look one. Not like she was from heaven Valhalla. She said she was a princess, but she wouldn't elaborate on that." Loki waved the idea away.
"No one has ruled heaven Valhalla or hell Niflheim since they existed." Fandrid jumped in. "So, she couldn't be a princess of either one."
"True, but what does it matter?" Sigyn said and Loki went back to staring at her golden eyes. His skin had returned to its normal tan complexion, his eyes were black again, and his gray hair had turned into that flame red that Sigyn was overly in love with. "You're back now. That's all that matters. And, my lovely Loki, I am so so sorry. I didn't mean what I said. I was angry, confused, heartbroken, but that is no excuse for my actions. Nothing is. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I don't expect you to ever forgive me."
"Shhh, my sweet Sigyn." Loki placed his pointer finger over her lips and then moved his hand to cup her cheek. She leaned into his touch as more tears ran down her face. She missed him so much. "You have done more good to me than harm. I can let this one argument go free." He smiled and she nodded. "Yes, Loki, but we still have to talk about what happened. You aren't getting away with it that easily." She said and Loki agreed to her terms. He bit the corner of his mouth and closed his eyes. "Okay." He whispered and Sigyn wrapped her arms around his neck. "For tonight, though, I shall forget everything I was told, but just for tonight. Just so I can still have you as innocent as I thought you were. I almost lost you, I want to be reminded you are still here." She said and he smiled at that. He opened his eyes to look into her's again and the two shared a quick kiss before Jocelyn jumped in again.
"You can stay if you want. Both of you can." The two turned to the siblings and smiled, happy they were offered that for neither one really wanted to go home after everything that had transpired. "We'll be taken you up on that offer, Jocelyn. Thank you." The healer smiled before getting to her feet and cleansing her eyes a bit more with her hands. "I'm going to examine you again tomorrow and I suggest you see Eir, too. She'll have a field day with this."
"I'm sure she will." Loki jested and everyone chuckled just a bit, happy to see that he was going to be just fine for the most part. "Get some sleep, Loki. You need it." He nodded and Jocelyn gave Sigyn a kiss on the head. "Goodnight, dear friend." She whispered into Sigyn's brown curls that smelled ever so sweet.
"Goodnight, my sweet companion." Sigyn said and grabbed Jocelyn's hand before the healer left the room to return to her chambers and hopefully get some sleep. Fandrid stood up and stood before Loki and Sigyn. He gave Loki a kick in the leg and Loki grabbed the wounded area. "Ow! What the fuck was that for? I just died, you know?" Loki tried to keep his voice low for all the people who may have been sleeping. Thank goodness everyone was a heavy sleeper in Fandrid's family. "I was making sure you were alive, old friend." Fandrid smiled and Loki sent him away.
Despite him feeling as better than ever, Loki made no attempts at getting up to go to the couch, he choose to stay on the floor, but Sigyn did not know that. She began to stand up to migrate to the couch, but Loki just pulled her down to him and with hurt filled eyes said, "You told me you would forget everything for this night. I don't want you to forget everything. I want to tell you. I want you to hear me explain it, the way I would have done if given the chance. You need to hear my side of the story. The full story and if you need time to think about it, if you need time to get everything together and debate whether or not you want to keep us, if you want to stay with me, then I will not protest to it. I will leave everything up to you and not try to sway your mind. It will be your choice and no matter what you choose, I will still look out for you, still care about, still teach you to read, still teach you to write, still train to get your powers as a goddess, and I will still love you. That is one thing nothing is never ever going to change. I will always love you."
She didn't know what to say to that. Who would know? She just let what he said fall onto her and she listened to each word very closely. There was no trick involved, he wasn't plotting anything, this was the Loki she had fallen in love with talking. This was Loki her friend. Loki her boyfriend. Loki her lover. Not Loki the God or Loki the killer. And so, she just nodded and bit her lip. She laid beside him and her eyes remained on his. He cleared his throat and began to speak again.
"I told you that when my birth Father found out I was still alive and how he threatened Odin with war on Asgard if he did not surrender me to him?" She nodded and he continued. "I also told you that I left because I did not want Asgard to go to war?" Again she nodded and so he carried on.
"Well, my father needed heirs to the throne since my brothers were not willing to marry and have children just yet. They were too busy enjoying their harlots, so my father made me get married. He wanted me to produce heirs. This is where Angrboda comes in. As chief of one of the most powerful tribes in the Iron Wood, my father saw her as the best choice. We were married, but no heirs were ever produced. She was too busy with other men, who also included my brothers and even my father- lets not call him my father. Lets call him the King. No heirs were produced because I refused to bed her. I would not give the King the satisfaction.
"It was because of that that Angrboda flogged me. Her favorite toy was the cat o' nine tails. She loved that thing. Most of the time it was public beatings if the King allowed. Other times it was for personal pleasure. She was into the whole S&M stuff, but I still fought back. Just a secret between us, my sweet Sigyn, for the future if it happens," he spoke in a whisper so Heimdall wouldn't be able to hear if he was listening in on the conversation. "I kind of like the whole S&M thing too, just not with Angrboda, but with you..." he gave her body a visual scan before locking eyes with her again. "Oh baby, just imagine all the fun we could have." He hissed slyly.
"Get back to the story, Loki." She nagged and he chuckled to show he would comply.
"Of course. Anyways, it never happened. Most nights were sleepless ones or filled with nightmares about what happened and what was to come. It was horrifying. That is when my body started burning. That is where it all started. She also enjoyed the rack, that was probably her second favorite. Coffin torture, her and the King loved that one. However, the King had one thing he favored. Prehapes you have heard it though it is not commonly known. It's called the Cat's Paws. That one...oh he loved that one so much. Only he could perform that one. That one he wanted to do himself.
"It was during this time that a mountain giant named Thormod, wished to see the mountain giants take control of throne, feeling the frost giants had enjoyed it for far too long. So, he built up and army and began to terrorized Jotunheim. Most storm giants remained loyal to the King, but some turned on him. Thormod was ruthless.
"He went from town to town, city to city, sacking them and taking some as young as twelve as hostages. Only men, though. He would use the hostages to try and negotiate with the King. He would cut off their fingers, toes, legs, arms, we even got a package with a child's nose in it before. He tore those boys apart and sent them to us with a letter attached to them. I tried to advise the King, but he never took my advice. He just continued to fight Thormod and continued to lose miserably. Every victory Thormod claimed, he sent the head of the deceased to the King and tortured the rest until death for information about the King's army.
"I begged the King to make me general of the army back when the situation could be controlled without so much bloodshed, but he would not listen. It wasn't until we were down to our last few thousand men that he and I made a deal. He said he would free me if I stopped the rebels, but I did not do it for my freedom.
"I did it because the King refused to look at the packages Thormod sent. He refused to see how evil that being was. Sending body part after body part after body part. Men. Normal men. He tortured them before he killed them. Destroyed them like they were animals. They were in pain for several weeks. You could tell by how the edges looked that to have that limb removed was a painfully slow procedure. I was the one who opened each and ever package. I was the one forced to try and match the body parts together to try and get a body to burry. Sometimes there was none and I was forced to burry just limbs. An arm or a leg or a hand or a foot. I made the coffins myself. Buried them myself. Said a prayer to the Norns myself.
"The King only wished to see the letters that came with the limbs. The limbs he did not care for. A King must care for his people, yes, but a King must'n slaughter them above all things. I figured Thormod would be an even worse ruler than the current King if he could do such horrible things. I wasn't going to let him get away with it. I hated my origin, I hated the King, I hated the life I was currently living...but I did not hate my people. I was the Prince of Jotunheim and I had to act like it. I cared about my people. I still do.
"That is when I made the deal with the King. That is when I tried to convince him I was merely looking for an escape when I was looking for revenge for all those people he tortured. I was going to hit him twice as hard. A King must always stand up for his people, must always defend them, must always avenge them. And avenge them I was.
"Yes, the naval attack did happen and yes I blew up all those ships. I did kill the survivors and I did torture the captain with crocodile sheaths. I tortured him for three hours while Thormod tortured his victims for days or weeks or months. I sent Thormod the captain's body parts altogether so at least he had a full body to burry.
"Yes, he sent a counter attack and yes, I did kill all of them. I did bath in the blood of my victims for I wanted the Jotuns to see that I was also a god and that no matter what I am, Norge or hex or whatever, that I would always defend my people when they need a leader to defend them. That I would avenge the dead when they needed someone to avenge them. Aesir or giant, I would stand by my fellow Jotuns and I would never abandon them like the King did.
"I attacked Thormod's camp with vengeance as my goal and anger within me. I knew it wouldn't stop there, though. I was leaving Jotunheim after this and I had no intentions on coming back. I knew that Thormod's army would not stop there. Word of Thormod's bravery would spread to his home city and only another rebellion would take place and more of my people would die. That and Thormod was not punished enough for what he did. So, I made him take me to his home city and there I had every last giant killed right before his eyes. He got to witness what he did to all those people. He got to see and feel how badly it hurts to watch your own people be slaughtered. He got to witness hell like I have been every time he sent another message to the King and I was forced to assemble the bodies.
"I spiked all the heads so that the giants would remember that I will always fight for my people, that I will never abandon them, and that everyone who dies shall be avenged. A life for a life. That is how debts are repaid. Though, I did not take even half the souls he took, but I made up for that with torture to their ruler, to their superior. The horror in Thormod's eyes...it was like he couldn't believe he lost. Lost to the prisoner of the King and a woman. Lost to a Norge. Lost to a hex. Lost to Loki."
Sigyn let it all sink in. She didn't feel sick or dizzy. She had a sturdy stomach and she wasn't crying like she had done the last time. Loki was ruthless, yes, but he was not heartless. He did everything for honor and for his people. For the realm he hated, but was still prince of. It didn't change the fact that what he did was horrible. Thormod took prisoner's of war. Loki brutally butchered an entire city. What Loki did was worse, true enough, but he had a better reason for doing it. He wasn't innocent, but his reason made sense.
Sigyn bit her lip and nodded, not knowing what to say. "I still didn't gain my freedom." Loki added. "The King didn't let me go. He just said I could go without shackles. That is why I left that day. I didn't have the shackles to hold me back. I escaped on my own."
It was silent for the longest amount of time. Minutes, no less than ten, had passed them by and neither Sigyn nor Loki said a word. They were just absorbing the moment. Loki finally had a chance to tell her himself. Even if she didn't run into his arms and say she was okay with everything, at least he got a chance to tell her and she wasn't just making her decision on their relationship based off of Freya's words.
After a good long moment of silence, minus the fire crackling, Sigyn finally spoke. "What did you do? With Thormod's head?"
Loki swallowed before saying, "The King needed proof Thormod was dead. I gave Thormod's head as a gift to the King. He spiked it on the palace wall and there it remains as far as I know."
Sigyn nodded again before looking away from Loki. Another moment passed of silence between them, but at least it didn't last as long as the first time. After maybe five minutes, Sigyn spoke again and her voice was nearly silent, but as sweet as ever.
"I believe you, Loki." She mumbled and the look in her eyes told him that she believed him completely. He smiled at that and kissed her forehead. He didn't kiss it quickly, but rather kept his lips on her soft skin for nearly a minute. She believed him. That was all that mattered. He was completely honest with her and honesty was gaining her trust. Slowly and painfully, but it was worth it because after every bitter moment of honesty came sweet love after it. Oh yes. It was defiantly worth it.
When he removed his lips from her forehead, Sigyn spoke again. "However, I can not say that I agree with what you did. I still think it was evil and cruel and not called for, but I don't think you are a monster or a hex. I cannot say that I can truly accept this and I do need time to think about this, but I'm glad you told me the truth."
Loki remembered what the girl who saved him said. To tell Sigyn the truth and give her time and so he shall do that. Even if they call it quits so she could gather her thoughts and emotions, he didn't care. He would do whatever it took to be with her forever, even if that meant he had to wait even longer. He would wait forever if he must.
"I need to see the city, though. I need to see what you did. Nothing you say will convince me otherwise so don't even try to talk me out of it." Loki nodded at her words and didn't even think about arguing with her. If she wanted to see it, then she would see it. She needed to know. Knowing wasn't enough, she had to believe it and believing wasn't enough. She had to see it.
"I'll take you tomorrow. I promise." Loki complied and held her just a bit tighter, terrified that this may be the last time he ever holds her this close to him. This may be the last time he lays with her and calls her his own. The thought bought tears to his eyes and he even let one streak down his face.
His bottom lip began to tremble and more tears rushed to his black eyes. Another tear fell and as Loki examined her, the beautiful woman he was so madly in love with, the woman he may have to let go of, he felt his heart break just a little bit more. His body shook as his breathing became hard and several tears fell from his eyes. He sniffed, his face turned red, and he found it hard to breathe. He was crying again. The second time in his life. He wasn't crying when the King and Angrboda did what they did to him in Jotunheim or when he was forced to assembly those dead bodies sent to him by Thormod. That wasn't torture. This...this was torture. Loosing Sigyn for what maybe forever...that was torture. "I love you." He sobbed. "I love you so much." He sniffled and he placed a hand on her face, pushing back her brown curls. "I love you too, Loki." She mumbled. "I love you, too." He cried even harder at that and wanted her as close to him as possible. She sensed that.
She climbed on top of him and rested against his shaking and aching chest. It raggedly moved up and down as he continued to sob and hold her tightly. His arms slowly wrapping around her and pushing her close to him. His tears soaked her hair as he kissed her head, but she didn't care. She held him just as tightly and tried to hide the fact that she was crying too. Silent tears rushed down her face, but she kept her breathing normal as she gazed into the fire.
She would never let go. No matter what he did, no matter how evil he was, no matter how many people called for his death, Sigyn would never let go. Loki was too much. He meant too much. She would always love him. Forever and ever. And he would always love her. Forever and ever.
"Sigyn," he cried her name as more tears fell from his eyes.
"Loki." She said in a petite little voice.
"Don't let go." He cried and nearly coughed as he said it. "Promise me you won't let go. Please, Sigyn. My sweet Sigyn. Please. Don't let go."
It broke her heart. Tore it in two as she listened to his cries for her. She was sure that he was so in love with her. Maybe more in love with her than she was with him. She didn't think that was possible. So in love with her that it didn't seem healthy. Maybe it was for the best if Sigyn didn't stay with him. She was a disease or an addiction. A Sigyn addict, he was. This addiction couldn't be a good one and for Loki's own good, she secretly thought leaving him was best. As much as it hurt and as much as it broke her heart, she may have to leave for Loki's sake. She had to save him. She had to cure him. She had to leave.
"I won't let go, Loki. I will never let go. I promise." She said and turned her head so she could kiss his lips even though it was difficult for he was still crying and they were wet with salty tears. She didn't care. This may be the last time she kisses his lips and she wouldn't let anything stop her from doing so.
Even though she thought about leaving him for his own good, Sigyn never ever would stop loving him as much as she did. She loved him with all her heart and soul and that was one thing no amount of distance or arranged marriages was ever going to change. She would always love him. Always. She would never let go. Sigyn would never let go.
Again, crying towards the end and I don't mean to sound mean but I hope you guys were too. Sorry for any grammar mistakes and stuff like that. I'm dedicating this week to rereading all of the chapters and fixing all the mistakes I can find so this one will be fully fixed by the end of this week. I already worked on a few chapters if you noticed if you go back and reread. Please, don't forget to spread the word, write reviews, ect. ect. Thank you guys so much for all your support! It means a lot to me!