Here's part two of Chapter 18 - Usual Suspect. Thanks to Marchai43, gr8read, rholou, and 2People for the lovely reviews. Hope you all like the second part of the chapter. I will try to get the next update up as soon as I can.
No major warning except for those already listed in previous chapters for this story. A slight spoiler to Dream a little Dream of Me, 3.10
Enjoy!
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Dean barely got out of the living room before his own tears start to race down his cheeks. Raising an extremely shaky hand to his face didn't do much of anything to stop the continuing tears that sting his cheeks. But Dean just ignores it, needing to clear his head.
The trip to the washroom is blurred, as tears obscure Dean's vision. But he manages to make it to washroom, strip, and gets into the shower. The steaming hot water only turning his skin an ugly shade of red. The pain not registering at all. Dean just wants to stay numb to is all.
John's voice still rings out in his head. Words taunting him even awake. Dean feels the memory of foreign hands ghost over his body. Dean slams his head against the wall, leaving his head directly under the water's spray.
Pull yourself together.
Dean takes a deep breath, shivering as the temperature of the water finally pushes through the fog. Dean quickly turns the water off.
Dean dries himself off and changes into clean clothes, downing two pills. He isn't exactly taking them as directed, but a little closer. On the outside, Dean looks completely fine and normal. No evidence of the emotional pain that's trying to rip him apart inside.
Dean doesn't want to talk, hell, he doesn't even want to see his brother right now. One painful chick-flick moment is enough for one day. He really did want to check out the Impala, but now...now Dean's curious as to what Bobby did to his car for his plan to work.
Dean slips out of the house, and finds Bobby's car out front. It doesn't take Dean long to see what Bobby cut, and removed from the car.
"That sneaky-scheming son-of-a-bitch." Dean grumbles as he stares under the hood of Bobby's car. Surprised and pissed at the lengths Bobby went to in an attempt to force Dean and Sam to talk.
"I seem to remember a speech where you told me no-one but you could look under the hood of your car." Bobby's voice calls out, startling Dean.
Dean turns to see Bobby slam the car door of the Impala closed. Dean should be angry at that, but he's just confused that he didn't hear the car drive up. Too stuck in his own thoughts.
"Lets pretend that I gave you the same speech." Bobby continues, carrying some bags as he approaches Dean.
"Ya, and I should kick your ass for taking my car." Dean replies, anger back in his voice.
"If that's what it takes for you to pull that stubborn head of yours outta your ass, then have at it. I'll give you a free swing, than it's fair game." Bobby dares, now in front of Dean.
Dean wants to hold onto his anger, but it's quickly fading. He's definitely not going to hit the man that's been helping his brother more than he has.
"I got another bag in your car. Why don't you make yourself useful. Meet me in the kitchen." Bobby doesn't even wait for a response, he walks towards the house.
Dean shakes his head, but walks towards his car. There's a paper bag in the back seat that has a case of beer in it. He's been craving the numbness that alcohol provides, but unless they go to a bar during a hunt, Dean still can't bring himself to go to the bars by himself yet. Even if it where just to drink, because picking up girls is even further down the list.
Inside the house, Bobby enters the kitchen and sets the bag down, taking out some frozen burgers.
"Sam! Want to help me with the grill? Got us some burgers for dinner!" Bobby shouts.
Once Bobby gets everything unpacked that he needs, he gets confused. All he hears is silence. Where is Sam?
"Sam!" Bobby calls out, but doesn't get a response again.
Dean enters the kitchen, and puts the beers down.
"You cooking us dinner?" Dean asks.
"Burgers and beer. Water for you thought. That's okay right? I mean, I'm assuming you're not allowed to consume alcohol while you're taking those pills." Bobby replies, knowing it's probably a low blow, and a little cruel, but it needs to be said.
"Ya, I guess not." Dean feels defeated by Bobby's words, but he doesn't want Bobby to notice.
"Where's your brother?" Bobby asks.
"He's here, why?" Dean asks, trying not to panic for not checking in on his brother earlier.
"Wanted to see if he'd help me with the grill, but...he didn't answer me." Bobby replies, hoping his plan didn't explode while he was out.
"Sam!" Dean shouts as he walks out of the kitchen.
Bobby quickly follows, hoping they are both just over reacting. Bobby nearly runs into Dean, who has stopped at the entrance to the living room.
"Dean?" Bobby asks, as he moves around Dean to enter the living room.
What Bobby sees breaks his his heart. He looks back to Dean, angry, despite the pain he also sees in Dean's eyes.
"Damn it boy, what happened? I can't leave for a couple hours without someone falling apart. How do you guys get through hunts you always leave here to run off to?" Bobby snaps, hating when he sees that his words add more hurt and pain to Dean's face. Bobby wants to take it all back when he sees tears spring to Dean's eyes, but Bobby doesn't have a chance to correct it.
"I'm sorry." Dean mumbles before quickly making his way upstairs.
"Damn it." Bobby wants to go after Dean, but he knows Sam need him too. And Sam will accept the help more likely than Dean.
Bobby turns back to Sam. By the looks of it, Sam didn't hear Bobby or his brother, stuck in his own head. Bobby walks over to the couch, and kneels in front of Sam.
"Sam?" Bobby gently calls out as he places a hand lightly on Sam's shoulder.
Sam is startled out of his daze when Bobby's hand makes contact with his shoulder. Sam hates the fact the older man had to find him like this. He slowly sits up on the couch, allowing Bobby to take a seat next to him.
"Not exactly the result I was hoping for when I left this morning." Bobby admits, somewhat defeated.
"It's not your fault Bobby." Sam replies, feeling awkward. Sam sniffles, and wipes a hand over his face. The tears dried, but he still feels them.
"What happened?" Bobby asks.
"We talked. It was bumpy, but we still talked a bit. Nothing too serious. But...I just don't know how to help him. Every time I think we're getting somewhere...he...I don't think Dean wants to get better. Like...he almost feels he deserves it all for some reason." Sam feels a tightness his his chest and throat. But he's all out of tears. He can't cry, and he doesn't want to.
"Did he say that? That he thinks he deserves all this misery? Is that what got you so upset?" Bobby's anger towards Dean earlier is completely gone. Bobby now feels terrible.
"No, but it's Dean. He doesn't have to say it. I still know that's how he feels. He blames himself for things that aren't his fault. He believes he needs to be punished." Sam answers flatly, trying to shut the pain away.
"Okay. We are going to talk. But right now, your going to help me with the grill. We're going to eat, have a few beers, then once everything has settled a little...we'll talk." Bobby knows he should talk some more, but he also knows the boys probably didn't feed themselves while he was gone.
"But Bobby..." Sam starts to protest but Bobby cuts him off.
"You boys need to eat." Bobby states as he gets up.
Sam smiles, glad for the distraction. They barely make it out of the living room before they hear a loud crash above them. Sam jumps and looks over to Bobby, reality slamming back into them.
Bobby frowns. "Go check on him. I'll start dinner."
Sam is hesitant, scared at hat he might find. What state his brother may be in. Or maybe the crash was a complete accident.
"I don't think I should be the one to check in on him. I'll make us food. You make sure he's okay. Talk." Bobby insists, not allowing Sam to argue before he abruptly leaves.
"Shit." Sam sighs.
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Dean goes straight to his room after finding Sam. It broke Dean's heart because he knew it was all his fault. Sam was a mess because of him.
Dean collapses onto the floor next to his bed. He's already feeling a tightness in his chest, and his body shaking. Dean closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to calm his rising emotions. The darkness only brings on more pain. His father's voice of disappointment. The responsibility, the pain, and grief on his shoulder is almost unbearable.
Dean knows he completely failed Sam today. That he just keeps failing. And he can't do it, he can't keep failing his brother. He'd rather take himself out of the problem entirely, one way or another, than hurt Sam. He can't hurt his brother, that's not an option.
Dean opens his eyes, hoping the light and the scenery will stop the pain. It only reminds him of the pain he's causing his brother. That's when the tightness closes off air to his lunges and he feels the painful stab in his chest as he tries to breath.
Dean doesn't waste any time. Any denial about the pills long gone. Luckily his bag is close by, so it isn't too difficult for Dean to get to his pills and pop two in his mouth.
Collapsing against the bed, Dean waits for the pills to do their job. Tears stinging his eyes.
Dean can feel the pills helping him breath, and calming his nerves. The pills don't, however, numb the pain. He still can't shut out the voices, and the guilt, and then pain. Dean feels an incredibly strong urge to do more to numb himself, and take some of the pain away. But that only makes his weak. Dean doesn't want to be weak anymore.
The pills calm his nerves and help him breath. But they don't stop the pain his memories cause, or silence the taunting ant the guilt. He needs more.
Dean starts frantically searching through his bag, knowing he won't find what he's craving. Knowing he should brush it all off, put on a facade and go help with dinner. Or ask for help, but Dean's not sure he's able to do that yet.
Once the content of his bag is scattered around the room, Dean starts to feel the panic rise in his chest. A panic he needs to release, but that also freaks Dean out when he thinks about how dependent he's become one the cutting and the pills.
Dean gets to his feet. Son of a bitch. Stop. Please. Dean pleads, pleads with his demons. Then Dean is angrily throwing his empty bag across the room.
The bag hits the lamp next to the bed, sending it to the floor. The lamp, which is made of glass, shatter when it makes contact with the floor.
"Fuck." Dean mutters, knowing there's no way Sam and Bobby didn't hear that. And Dean can't stand the thought of disappointing his brother yet again today.
Dean exits the room, closing the door behind him. He closes his eyes, which doesn't help, the images only clearer against the darkness. Dean's eyes snap open, and he runs a shaky hand across his face. He needs to calm down.
Dean starts walking towards the stairs, running into his brother at the top of them.
"Hey. Do you know where Bobby keeps a broom or something. I accidently killed that ugly ass lamp by the bed." Dean grins, hoping Sam either buys it or just doesn't ask.
"Um...I don't know. You'd have to ask him." Sam replies, unable to match Dean's fake smile. He's too tired.
"Alright then. Let's go. Someone's supposed to be helping Bobby with the food. I'm starving." Dean doesn't wait for a response before making his way downstairs.
If Sam had more energy, he'd call Dean's bullshit. Sam just can't take all the avoidance and lies, and the walls, so he says nothing.
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Dinner was long and awkward. Bobby trying to make small talk, but the topics of conversation dried up quickly.
Once dinner was done, and the kitchen was cleaned, Dean excused himself. He says something about being tired, and just wanted to take a quick shower and crash. And Dean's not lying, that's exactly what he's planning on doing. Hoping the night will be uneventful and peaceful.
Once Dean is gone, Bobby and Sam move to the living room. Bobby brings them each a beer.
"Anything you want to get off your chest?" Bobby asks, half done his beer. The silence went on for too long, Dean probably already in bed since the shower stopped running almost half an hour ago. So Bobby wants to get the ball rolling.
"I don't even know where I'd start Bobby. I feel any day now I could lose him. And I can't. When..." Sam stops, his throat getting tighter as tears start to sting his eyes.
Bobby wants to say something, something that would help ease the pain. But there are no words. So Bobby waits to see what Sam needs to say, and maybe then some weight will be lifted from his shoulders.
"When Jess died..." Sam voice cracks. He wants to stop. But if he does, he'd be just like Dean, letting his pain destroy him.
"It's okay Sam, take all the time you need." Bobby says, knowing the phrase is over used.
"I thought they were just dreams. Very vivid nightmares. But I was wrong, and I watched her burn. It felt like a hole was seared through my chest. It still hurts something, it doesn't go away." Tears start their journey his cheeks, and Sam doesn't bother trying to wipe them away. He knows it would be useless.
Bobby was shocked. He knew the same demon that took Mary from John, also killed Sam's girlfriend. He also knew they were both killed the same way. And as of recently Bobby learned that Sam has visions, and that there are still many unanswered questions as to why. But he didn't know about this, and it pains him to see how much the guilt seems to be tearing Sam apart.
"I never really understood until that moment." Sam continues, his voice pulling Bobby out of his shock.
"I use to hate him for how we grew up. But when Jessica became another victim of this fucking demon, I got it. I understood why it was so important."
Bobby doesn't need to ask, he knows exactly what Sam's talking about, and who. So Bobby just listens.
"You know..." Sam laughs lightly, sad, as he tries to wipe the tears from his face. The tears, however, have other pans as they continue down Sam's face.
"I think we both envied each other growing up. I didn't miss mom like Dean did. I never knew her, but I wanted to. I wish I even had just a sliver of a memory. But Dean, I think the fact he did have that normal life, even if only for a couple years, it broke that child. He turned off a lot of emotions so early on because of it. It's funny thought, wanting to exchange a pain for another just because we don't understand, and we hope it's a little less painful then what we have." Sam takes a deep breath, trying to figure out what he's really trying to say.
"I'm sorry, you really don't have to listen to all my bitching and moaning. Dean would have made some smart-ass comment by now, and that would be the end of it." Sam quickly adds, wondering why Bobby is still sitting with him.
"It's fine Sam." Bobby hates the pain he sees in Sam, so he really doesn't mind. He feels completely out of his depth, but he's not going to drop the subject when Sam's talking.
"Look, we all get into hunting our own way, and it's always painful Sam. I know you didn't understand it when you were a kid. I also know Dean probably wishes he could've kept you clean of all the pain. But he and your father, they did what they thought was best at the time. Other times they did what helped them with the pain. Dean growing up too fast, taking care of you, and closing part of himself off, that all may seem unfair, but your brother probably needed to do all that. So this life and the pain and memories it brings didn't destroy him." Bobby explains sadly, his own reasons for getting into hunting pulling at his emotions.
"But the cutting, he started so young, and maybe it wasn't that bad back then...I donno. Isn't there a point where you need to lean on others before everything tears you into millions of unfixable shards. I can't watch my brother slip away like this, I can't. He's the only family I have left Bobby." Sam wants the tears to stop, along with the pain. Wondering how Bobby's putting up with all the chick-flick crap.
"I know." Bobby's never talked about it much, but maybe his story may help.
"You know, he blames himself for dad. That and everything else...maybe even things he hasn't told me, he's going to break under all the weight. What can I do?" Sam asks, desperate.
"I wish I had the answers Sam. You just have to be there for him. He won't let this destroy him, because protecting you is still the most important thing to him." Bobby can see Sam's mood change slightly at those words, and Bobby decides to explain himself better before Sam argues.
"I'm not saying that to make you feel like a burden or another weight one his shoulders. He doesn't want to hurt you, and he won't leave you. Your brother does need you Sam, even if he can't see all the reasons why yet." Bobby explains, hoping he's making sense.
"I know. I just wish he'd do something for himself, you know. Get better because he wants to, instead of doing it just for me." Sam feels a little calmer, the tears still running down his face, but slower now. He feels hopeless.
They sit in silence, neither sure what to say anymore. Bobby hates this, hates not knowing what to say to ease Sam's pain. Bobby takes a deep, calming breath. He hasn't talked about this in years, and it's always painful.
"You know, I don't talk about this often...but John and I, we got into hunting for similar reasons. We both lost our wives. Different circumstances, but I lost my wife because of a demon. I had no idea at the time, but I guess that's what connects us all and drive us to have that one speciality. Like Gordon Walker." Bobby's not sure it's wise to bring up Gordon, but he's just trying to buy some time and prove his point.
"But you're not a fucking nutcase." Sam mumbles. Sam almost flinches, looking up at Bobby apologetically. "Sorry. I'm...I'm sorry about your wife."
"We all have someone we lost because of this world most people still believe even exists. But my story is different. A demon wearing some poor..." Bobby stops, his emotions starting to rise. Tears stinging his eyes.
"A demon killed your wife?" Sam tries to help, not used to seeing the older man like this. Hell, he rarely saw his own father like this. But Sam was also confused, because if a demon killed Bobby's wife, how is the story different then his own, or his father's.
"A demon didn't kill my wife." Bobby's voice breaks, a tear finally breaking free.
"I don't..." Sam's confusion has pushed most of his other emotions aside. Well, besides concern, because Sam's never seen Bobby upset about something before that didn't relate to Sam and Dean.
"I'm not telling this right, I'm sorry." Bobby wipes the tear off his cheek.
"It's okay." Sam wipes a hand over his own face, most of his tears now gone...for now. Sam knows it's only a matter of minutes or just a simple subject change to get the tears up and running again.
"I didn't know what I know now back then. All I knew was that there was something very wrong with my wife. I didn't mean to...I just...I didn't know." Bobby's not sure if Sam can put his fragmented puzzle pieces together.
"A demon possessed your wife?" Sam asks, a kick to the gut at what that might mean. How the story may end makes Sam's stomach turn.
"I still don't really know why. To this day there's no reason for what happened. Then again, most demons crawling there way out of the pit only wants a warm body to possess. There's no motive behind it. Just a random fucking act that nearly destroyed me." Bobby takes another deep calming breath, trying to calm his nerves. Not sure if there is a point to this, if his story will help Sam out in his own grief at all.
"Shit. Bobby, I'm so sorry. But it wasn't your fault. It fucking sucks, it really sucks, but you had no idea." Sam feels a tightness in his chest again, knowing the conversation can easily jump into painful territory.
"Doesn't really make the guilt and pain go away though, does it?" Bobby asks, knowing the question is really directed at both of them.
"Bobby...I..." Sam feel like he can't get the words out. His throat is tight, so is his chest and he feel like he can't breath. He also can't make his brain come up with anything that could possibly answer the question and make Bobby feel better without bringing up his own guilt.
"You didn't know either Sam. We both were put into a crappy situation where we had no idea what the truth really was. We both lost someone we loved, and we both feel incredible guilt over it. I've tried dealing with it for so long, and it still eats me up inside on a daily basis...but some people...they made me see I couldn't do anything, it was beyond my control. And this...Jessica, you didn't know anymore than I did. You are a lot less guilty then I am because you never put a knife through the person you loved." Bobby hates having this conversation, because tears are stinging at his eyes. But he knows he needs to help Sam, and maybe they can both help each other through the pain that don't need to be carrying.
"I didn't say anything Bobby, I didn't do a damn thing. It's just as bad." Sam bites out, cringing as he realizes what his words really meant.
"Well, you're definitely using a different tactic then the others to try and convince me it wasn't my fault." Bobby laughs lightly as a few more tears run down his face. Bobby wipes them away and settles into the couch a little more relaxed, because maybe now they can really talk about what happened with Sam's girlfriend. Maybe now he can really try and help the boy.
"No, I didn't mean anything...you...it's not your fault." Sam replies quickly, not wanting Bobby to feel like he's ignoring his pain or putting more onto either situation.
"And it's not yours either Sam. We were both put in situations that we didn't understand and we both lost someone very important to us because of it. There was nothing either of us could have done." Bobby voice cracks slightly at the confession because it's the first time in years he's actually said the words out loud. Sure he's saying them mostly to help Sam, but its easing a bit of his own pain in the process.
"Fuck Bobby. This...I shouldn't...Dean needs me, and I'm just..." Sam begins to lose the battle he's fighting within himself and the tears start to pour down his face. Sam leans forwards in the couch, and buries his face in his hands.
"I know you want to help your brother and be strong. But it's okay to deal with what's tearing you up inside too." Bobby gently puts a hand on Sam's back, not sure what else to do. Bobby really hopes he can help both these boys before all their pain and secrets destroy them.
Sam can't even reply to that, his body is shaking with pain and grief that he rarely lets himself feel unless he's around Bobby. He can't dump this on Dean, he just can't. He needs to be the one Dean can confide in, and Dean can't do that if Sam's always falling a part like this. Sam feels like he's a little girl, always breaking down.
"It's okay Sam." Bobby says softly, rubbing comforting circles on Sam's back.
It's in moments like this where Bobby hates the world, and that boys like Sam and Dean had to learn at such a young age that demons and monsters are real.
Sam pulls in a shaky breath, trying to force back all his emotions and all his pain. He sits up, furiously rubbing his hands over his face, trying to get rid of the tears.
"I'm sorry Bobby." Sam mumbles as the tears continues down his face, despite his best efforts.
"Okay, tonight was hard, on both of us. Why don't we just hit the sack, try to clear our heads a bit, and just have a relaxing day tomorrow, okay? We can even go into town or something, do something normal and stress free." Bobby rambles, feeling really out of his element now.
Sam laughs. "Normal...go to the movies, dinner, shop. Like Dean could sit through normal."
Bobby smiles. "You never know."
"Sounds good Bobby, thanks." Sam yawns, stretching his arms out. "Crashing does sound like a good idea."
Bobby and Sam make their way to bed, both psychically and emotionally exhausted. Bobby's not sure how tomorrow will go, but maybe a movie and an uneventful day is just what they all need...if it's even possible.
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Dean barely gets any sleep before he's jolted back to reality, his skin crawling and his body shaking. The pills he took calmed his nerve enough for him to fall asleep but they weren't enough to keep his demons at bay.
Dean barely makes it to the bathroom in time to empty the content of his stomach into the toilet. After there is nothing left to throw up, Dean collapses backwards, leaning against the wall next to the toilet. Dean tries to will his body to calm down. He tries to get his mind to realize where it is, and that he's safe.
After what seems like a lifetime, Dean is relatively calm. Sweet and tears on his face and he still feels a little nauseous. Dean needs to get out of here, he can't stay cooped up at Bobby's for any longer and not slash himself a part. It's taking every strength Dean has not to pull himself to his feet and track down something sharp.
A hunt, that's what Dean needs. Dean is lucky, Sam and Bobby both crashed an hour ago. Both men exhausted from their emotionally draining conversation. First, Dean quietly tracks down Sam's laptop, which is luckily packed away in a bag in the living room. Unfortunately in the process, Dean finds Sam's small switchblade. The need courses through Dean's body, making his hands begin to shake.
Dean weighs his options, knowing Sam will be pissed regardless of what Dean decides to do in this moment. But sneaking out with Sam's laptop in order to find a hunt seems like the better choice, the one Sam may find it easier to forgive.
Dean then gets in his car and drives, needing to get into town, get an internet connection, find a hunt, and get back to Bobby's before either Sam or Bobby wake up. Dean, however, is unaware that Bobby woke up at the sound of the Impala's engine starting.
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Sam wakes up, stretching out, groaning as his muscles stretch. He's still tired, but that probably has more to do with all the crying and talking with Bobby the night before than anything else. Sam slowly gets out of bed, throwing on a clean shift before making his way to Dean's room.
Sam's not really surprised to find Dean's room already empty. Dean's been waking up before Sam fairly often. Sam hates to think what wakes Dean up some of the time. But last night, Dean went to bed hours before he and Bobby crashed.
Sam then makes his way downstairs, smiling as he smells coffee as he approaches the kitchen. Sam has no idea how he'll ever repay the older man for being so generous and caring during these past few months. Their father's death may have destroyed them if it wasn't for Bobby.
"Morning Bobby." Sam sits down across from Bobby.
Sam's light mood instantly changes when he sees the slight scowl on Bobby's face. Bobby doesn't say anything, he just gets up, pours Sam a cup of coffee and then sits back down.
"Bobby? You okay?" Sam asks, worried last night might have been too much for Bobby. Like Bobby's now trying to find the nicest way to tell Sam to find his brother and get the hell out.
"Ya, I'm okay Sam. It's just that damn brother of yours." Bobby finally looks up from his coffee.
"What'd he do this time? He still claiming to give that car of his a tune-up just to avoid ya?" Sam smirks, knowing the reality of it really isn't that funny but the look on Bobby's face along with Dean's lame excuses makes it a little amusing.
"Nope. I wish he were out there fixing his damn car." Bobby grumbles, trying to figure out how to break the news to Sam without having the younger man freak the fuck out.
"Bobby? Where's my brother?" Yep, the humor of the situation is now completely gone and Sam is now starting to freak out.
"Must have had a nightmare or something. I heard him throwing up a little after we went to bed. I didn't want to scare him or anything, so I let him be. I thought if he really needed something, he'd wake you up." Bobby explains.
"Why didn't you wake me? What if he..." Sam feels sick.
"You can't always keep an eye on him Sam, that might just push him away faster. Trust me, I hope he didn't hurt himself last night, but it's out of our hands Sam." Bobby admits.
"He's never going to ask, Bobby. Dean Winchester doesn't ask for help." Sam grumbles, a little upset he's now slept through this twice. He only hopes last night wasn't as bad as the last time.
"He will, he's just a little more stubborn then most people." Bobby hates that he was too tired last night to get out of bed when he first heard Dean.
"Then what happened Bobby?" Sam asks, knowing there must be more to the story. "Where's Dean?"
"I must have fallen back asleep or something, I was a little tired. Out of it, you know." Bobby explains, trying to buy time before everything explodes.
"Ya." Sam mumbles, completely understanding. Sam feel into a deep sleep pretty quickly after he got to bed.
"He took off, I don't know where." So now Bobby decides to just jump straight to being blunt.
"What!" Sam exclaims loudly, getting to his feet.
"He'll be back." Bobby tries to reassure the panicked Winchester.
"You don't know that for sure Bobby." Sam doesn't know what to do, so he sits back down and buries his face in his hands.
"I do know. Come on Sam." Bobby reaches a hand over, placing on Sam's forearm. "It's Dean. Come on Sam. Look at me."
Sam reluctantly lifts his head at the pleading in the older man's voice. He knows Bobby's probably right. He's definitely thinking clearer.
"He's not going to leave you like that. He's in the same boat. You're the only family he has. He's not going to just up and leave you." Bobby waits, hoping to see the words sink in.
"Then where is he? Why just take off like this and not be back before we wake up. He must know I'd freak the fuck out." Sam rambles, needing to find. "I should call him."
Sam goes to get up again but Bobby stops him by putting a hand on his arm.
"I tried already, he didn't bring his phone with him. I'm surprised you slept through me calling his phone until I found it in his room." Bobby explains.
"Shit. This is so fucked. How am I helping him if I keep passing out like this." Sam forces himself to stay still even though his mind is screaming at him to get the fuck up and look for his brother.
Unaware to both men, Dean enters the house. He places Sam's laptop bag down by the door. He wishes he wasn't gone so long but it took him forever to find a wireless connection he could piggyback on. But he finally found some possible hunts, some actually pretty close. He'd rather put some distance from Bobby's for awhile but Sam may want to stay close.
Dean rubs a hand over his face, he's exhausted. He slowly makes his way to the kitchen in some serious need for coffee.
"Hey." Dean grumbles to Sam and Bobby as he walks towards the coffee.
The room is quiet as Sam and Bobby don't know what to say. Sam is angry, and Bobby is worried this whole thing is going to get ugly...fast.
Dean turns around slowly, feeling very uncomfortable by the silence. Both Sam and Bobby are just staring at him.
"Okay...I'm officially uncomfortable. What's going on?" Dean asks.
"Hey? That's it. That's all you got to say? Where the fuck have you been?" Sam grinds out, trying hard not to full on yell at his brother.
"Out." Dean shrugs, really not in the mood to argue, so he walks out of the kitchen and heads towards the living room.
"Son of a..." Sam gets up, almost knocking his chair over.
"Sam." Bobby pleads, wanting Sam to calm down a little before saying something he doesn't mean. But Sam ignores Bobby and follows Dean.
"Fuck." Bobby curses, getting up to follow.
"Dean! What the fuck." Sam calls out as he catch up to Dean in the living room.
"What Sam?" Dean asks, turning to face his brother.
Sam takes a deep breath. "Where have you been?"
"God, you sound like a fucking housewife. I was out. Why does this have to turn into a fucking argument?" Dean replies, wondering how he can possibly tell his brother what he was doing if he's already this pissed.
"Yes, because you've never taken off like this before. You haven't even gone out to the bars by yourself since getting me at Sanford, so I know that's not where you went." Sam argues, hating the words the minute they are spoken because of what they mean. Dean hasn't told him but Sam figured a long time ago there must be a reason Dean doesn't go off to the bars by himself. It makes Sam sick at what he just implied.
"Don't." Dean pleads, not wanting to get this close to the subject. Not now. Not around Bobby.
"I'm sorry." Sam deflates, his anger instantly gone. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay." Dean mumbles, sitting down on the couch, finally drinking some of his coffee.
"I just...you scared the crap out of me. We had no idea where you went. You didn't even take your phone with you." Sam stays where he is, not wanting to upset his brother.
Bobby stays quiet by the doorway, not sure if he should give the boys some privacy or if he should stay in case he needs to play referee later if things get heated.
"Where did you go?" Sam asks, calmer.
"I know you want to stay here a while, but I'm going a little stir crazy. I just...I needed to find us a hunt, or..." Dean stares at the coffee mug, ashamed by what he's implying. Hating that his brother has to see how weak and pathetic he really is.
"Dean...I thought...I don't know if a hunt is the best idea right now." Sam stumbles on his words, hating this entire situation.
"You think I can't do the job anymore?" Dean asks, a slight edge to his voice.
"No, just the last hunt...it kind of complicated things." Sam admits, not only talking about the complications it caused his brother, but himself as well.
"I'm just talking a simple hunt. This has nothing to do with the demon." Dean needs this or he won't be able to resist the urge next time.
"I could always come along, help you boys out." Bobby offers, not sure he wants the boys heading out so soon. They haven't been having the best track record with hunts since their father passed.
"No offense Bobby, but...I just..." Dean doesn't know how to tell the older man that he needs a break, needs space before Bobby learns all about Dean's dirty secrets.
"Need some space? Guess you had to get a new excuse sooner or later 'cuz I know there ain't nothing wrong with that car of yours." Bobby says, not wanting to sound angry or hurt but he's sure the boys can probably read him like an open book right now.
Sam hates the entire situation, but he shouldn't really be that surprised. Dean's never been to comfortable in one spot for too long. Especially when they aren't on a hunt. Sam knows that Bobby is also a factor. He knows his brother doesn't hate the man, but is more fearful of when the generosity will run out. When all his secrets are drawn to the surface, and Bobby changes his option of Dean, even though Sam knows that won't happen. It's just difficult to convince Dean otherwise.
"Sorry." Dean mumbles, suddenly feeling ashamed. The lack of sleep now taking an effect on Dean, and the fight is draining from him quickly.
"Is there one close by maybe?" Sam finally asks, when the silence becomes nearly unbearable.
Dean finally looks up from his coffee at Sam's words, a glimmer of excitement in his eyes. Something Sam hasn't seen in a very long time, and it feels like a small kick to the chest.
"A possible spirit a state over, maybe a half day drive if you're behind the wheel, less than that if I am." Dean smirks, his smile not quite there.
Sam wants to cry, the joke is like the old Dean, but at the same time it seems forced. Like Dean thinks if he just acts like everything is fine, Sam will finally see him as a man again.
"Okay, I don't like it. I hate that you went out like this instead of just talking to me about it, and scaring the crap out of me. But if there is a hunt close by, maybe it won't hurt to check it out." Sam explains, really not wanting to leave Bobby's yet.
"And you boys can always call me if you run into something bigger than you can handle. No one would think any less of you." Bobby adds, the last statement clearly directed at Dean knowing how Dean may react.
"Thanks Bobby. Um...we can head out first thing tomorrow morning I guess." Sam stumbles, not really sure what else to say. There so much he wants to say, but for the life of him he doesn't even know where to begin.
"Alright, um...I'm beat, so I'm just going to crash for a bit. Wake me up for supper, if...well, if you want." Dean mumbles, gets up off the couch and leaves the living room before either of the other men can say anything.
"Well...that was...fun." Bobby says, breaking the silence.
Sam laughs, but it's cracked and broken. He walks over to the couch and collapses onto it. Bobby stays where he is, not sure if he should get too close. Bobby wants to respect Dean's choices, and Sam's, but that doesn't mean he likes it one bit. He hates to think of this new hunt causing them any problems like every hunt they've encountered since their father's passing.
"You okay with this Sam? Because you know, if you're not up for it, I'm sure you're brother will understand." Bobby continues, not sure where's Sam's head is at at the moment.
"No, I can't do that Bobby. I've been selfish, and stubborn lately, and pushy. If this is what Dean needs, then I need to put my own crap and issues aside right now. I need to be strong for him, because I know it's only a matter of time before he breaks." Sam replies, emotionally drained.
"I think he's been breaking a fair bit lately Sam, what he's doing now, this might just be running." Bobby admits, knowing it's probably not what Sam wants to hear.
"I know that Bobby. I know he's been having a lot more panic attacks lately, most of them happening when we aren't here. I know he's having nightmares, and he's not talking. But there's nothing I can do Bobby. I can't push him, because...I can't...I can't lose him Bobby." Sam's voice cracks, and he curses himself. Why is it that he wants to be there for his brother, but he's the one always breaking down.
"Okay. So you do this hunt. You call me the second anything get too personal, or too hard. Alright." Bobby states, hoping he's doing the right thing here.
"Ya. Um...do you need any help putting together something for supper?" Sam mumbles, not sure what to do right now.
"No, relax. Maybe talk to Dean?" Bobby suggests.
"Naw, um...I'll let him rest. I'm just going to take a look at what research he did when he snuck off." Sam says before leaving to get his laptop bag.
Bobby sighs, knowing there's nothing he can do right now except start looking for something to feed these boys. These days makes everything harder. They make Bobby hate the world these boys and himself were forced to see while other get to remain in the dark.
SPNSPNSPN
Sam gets his laptop bag by the front door where Dean left it. He gets his laptop and settles down on the couch in the living room. Despite pretty much falling into a deep sleep the minute his head hit the pillow last night, Sam feels suddenly exhausted.
Sam looks over the news articles and possible hunts Dean put together. Internet pages up, and notes taken. Sam can see that Dean is desperate for a hunt, because he rarely sees his brother do this much research.
Sam sighs and slumps into the couch more, feeling at a loss. He can see that there are some events that his brother bookmarked that look more like their kind of case then the one he can only assume is the one they are going to look into tomorrow. But those are all much further away. And as much as Sam wants to believe this will just be a simple case, and he wants it to be for his brother's sake, but Sam can't shake this feeling that he has in the pit of his stomach. A feeling that everything is going to get monumentally worst long before there's any sight of hope of things getting any better.
SPNSPNSPN
Dinner was silent and awkward. Dean kept to himself, staying in his room until dinner was ready. Dean then left back to his room the second he was done eating. Not a word was spoken.
Once Dean was gone, both Bobby and Sam look over at Dean's plate. Dean barely touched his food. Sam sighs, leaning back in his chair. Bobby wants to say so much to both boys, but he knows they both probably need some space.
"Hang in there kiddo." Bobby says to Sam, as he gets up from the table. He removes the dishes from the table, as Sam just sits there.
"I'm trying Bobby." Sam mumbles after a long pause of silence.
"I know you are boy. Now why don't you get some rest. I'm sure Dean will want to be gone first thing in the morning." Bobby replies before turning his attention to the dishes.
"I'm sorry Bobby." Sam feels defeated, hating that this has probably hurt the older man.
"Nothing to be sorry for Sam. I'm not taking this personally. It's okay. If I don't see you boys off, call me when the case if over." Bobby replies, not turning to face Sam.
"Okay." Sam doesn't know what else to do so he leaves the room.
Sam decides, against everything screaming in his head, to just go to bed. He wants to talk to Dean, hell just make sure he's okay. But if his brother needs a moment of the old days, having a hunt to distract him from everything that's eating away at him, then for the moment, that's all Sam can give him.
SPNSPNSPN
Bobby lets Sam leave, knowing he should make sure the youngest Winchester is alright. But for some reason, Bobby wasn't too worried about Sam. He knows Sam is in pain, but he also knows Sam isn't building himself walls to block himself off from the world. If he needs to talk, he will. It's Dean Bobby needs to talk to, and seeing as the boys will probably leave before Bobby can get up in the morning, in an attempt to avoid any awkward goodbyes, Bobby needs to talk to Dean now.
After the dishes are cleaned up and put away, Bobby makes his way upstairs. He might have to settle for only an argument, and he hopes Sam sleeps through it. Even if Sam may hate himself for it later, Bobby can deal with Sam later.
Bobby walks to Sam's room first, and sees Sam curled up in his bed on top of the covers. Sam's back is to Bobby, but the older man is fairly certain Sam's asleep.
Bobby then makes his way to Dean's room, and he can see a low light coming from under the door. Bobby slowly pushes the door open. Dean is sitting on the bed, back to the door, reading through his father's journal. The only light on in the room, is a lamp on the bedside table that Bobby had to replace.
"You're not going to break this lamp, are ya?" Bobby asks.
"Shit." Dean yelps, jumping to his feet and turning to face Bobby. "Ever hear of knocking?"
"Sorry. You're brother's asleep, and I thought I'd come by and see how everything was. Plus, kind of curious if I should stock up on cheap bedside lamps for when you and your brother stay here." Bobby rambles, hoping to have a little bit of light conversation before he dives into the deep end.
"It was an accident Bobby. Besides, that lamp was an ugly old thing, I ain't gonna miss it." Dean mumbles his response, having a pretty good idea the older man knows the lamp wasn't broken by accident, not a complete accident anyway. Dean places his father's journal on the bedside table, and sits down on the edge of the bed.
"Ya, I suppose maybe you're right." Bobby stays leaning against the doorframe, not really sure what he intends on tackling during this conversation.
"Do you need anything Bobby?" Dean asks, after an awkward silence. Dean doesn't want to deal with this right now, he just wants to let his brother catch some sleep, and then they are out of here first thing in the morning.
"Figured you were probably planning on skipping out first thing in the morning, trying to avoid saying bye and all. Thought, what the hell, I'll talk to you before you try and give me the slip." Bobby admits. He doesn't want to be too tough on the boy, but something touch is the only option.
"I don't really know what you want me to say here Bobby." Dean feels at a lose, not sure what is happening. Not sure if Bobby's pissed at him or if he's trying to start a serious conversation. Neither option feels too settling for Dean at the moment.
"I just want to make sure this is the right thing, running off to a hunt. There's nothing wrong with admitting you need help and taking a break." Bobby says, feeling a little uneasy. Knowing the younger man will probably snap or shut down on him any minute.
"Thanks, Bobby, really. But I'm fine. We've taking enough of a break, and I'm sure you've been wonders for Sammy but...I'm great." Dean replies, slapping on a fake smile and getting off the bed. He needs to do something to get away from Bobby right now, he knows the older man's intentions are in the right place, he just can't deal with them right now.
"You know I'm aware of some of your problems, and I'm also not a complete moron. I know you're not fine." Bobby replies, knowing that might be a little harsh.
"Alright. Good talk Bobby." Dean is fully intended on walking out of the room, and going anywhere to avoid the man.
"No, not quite, listen to me." Bobby cuts in, blocking Dean's exit. He motions for Dean to go back to his bed, as he pulls the chair next to the door towards Dean's bed.
Dean walks back to his bed, his shoulder's slumped slightly, and his body stiff. Dean sits down on the edge of the bed, as Bobby pulls the chair towards him, blocking his exit. Bobby sits down.
"I know you hate that Sam's confided in me about things concerning you, but he never said anything to me about something I didn't know about. I know there are things I'm still in the dark about, and both your brother and I know it's up to you whether or not you want me to know what's causing you all this pain." Bobby explains, feeling a little better about getting some things out in the open.
"That's great in theory. And don't get me wrong, I wish you didn't know what you know. But I'm not mad at Sam for talking to you. If he needs to talk, I'm glad he has you since he clearly...look, I got a half days drive to do tomorrow and I'm not really in the mood to do this right now." Dean feels defeated, as if they've had this conversation hundreds of times already.
"He wants to talk to you, Dean, he does. He just doesn't want to bother you. Doesn't want you to ever feel like you have to confide in him because he's confiding in you. If you ask me, you're both just stubborn." Bobby mumbles the last bit. He understands Sam's logic, but he still think he shouldn't avoid his brother.
"That's great Bobby, really. But I don't need this right now, especially not from you. I don't need, nor do I want your fucking pity. I've handled myself fine for years, long before you clued into anything. So why don't you mind your own fucking business." Dean snaps, getting to his feet once again. Dean goes to leave the room.
"I may not have known about the cutting, but I was never blind boy." Bobby replies, staying where he is. He knows Dean hasn't left the room yet, but he also knows the conversation is pretty much over.
Dean freezes at the door, not sure what the older man means. He can't seem to make himself take those finally steps needed to get out of the room.
"Long before your daddy died, I knew you were in pain. Growing up the way you did. The responsibilities thrown on your shoulders at such a young age. The things you lost. I may not have pried, or asked too often, but I knew you were sad more often then not. It broke my heart kid." Bobby finally turns around to face Dean, but he can't read his face. Dean's face is a mask, and Bobby's knows the conversation is now officially over.
"I'll let you get some rest." Bobby adds, getting up off the chair and leaving the room.
Dean just stands there, not sure what to say. He always knew Bobby was more aware of things than Dean ever gave him credit for. And he knew they spent a lot of time at the man's house growing up when he was too young to go on hunts with his father. But Bobby was right, he never pushed. Never forced Dean to talk about anything, always gave him space. But now, everything is a mess, everything has changed. Those few left around him are concerned, and constantly trying to make sure Dean's okay. It's suffocating.
SPNSPNSPN
As everyone suspected, Dean woke up extra early. Only really allowing himself to sleep for a couple hours. Dean packed up his and Sam's stuff into the impala as quickly and quietly as he could before waking Sam up.
Sam wanted to wake Bobby, let him know they were taking off, but Dean didn't give him the time. Sam figured this may happen, but it doesn't stop him from feeling guilty. Bobby's been a great help, and a great friend. But Sam knows that for Dean it all makes him uncomfortable.
The drive is long and awkward. Sam wanted to be pissed that they left Bobby's without saying anything, but he couldn't bring it up. He knew it would just make the car ride more awkward and long. So instead he stayed quiet, letting Dean's music fill the car. And occasionally Dean would talk about the case.
The problem with this case though, it wasn't as simple as either of the boys anticipated. And before long, they both found themselves in a pretty sticky situation...behind bars. Sam was starting to freak out not being able to get to his brother, a whole bunch of situations running through his head. Mainly he wanted to know how his brother got so stupid that he got caught standing over Karen's dead body.
Dean on the other hand, was freaking out for a whole new set of reasons. He couldn't get locked away for this, it would kill him. Being away from his brother, being surrounded by a bunch of men. There's no way he'd survive. Which just makes Dean feel weak and pathetic all over again, because before the incident he never would be worried in a situation like this.
Currently Dean found himself yet again in the interrogation room, praying that his brother was doing alright. He was able to figure some stuff out in between getting grilled by the cops, and he was able to get a message to Sam with his assigned lawyer Jeff. Now all Dean can hope is that Sam can get out of custody some how so that he is free to get this case finished.
Now all Dean had to do was distract everyone so Sam could get out. So he does the only thing he can think of, let everyone think he's ready to confess.
A few moments later everyone's pilled into his interrogation room. Pete Sheridan, who Dean already thinks is a total prick, has set up a camera.
Once Ballard and Jeff re-enter the room, Pete gets started.
"Couselor, your boy decided to confess." Pete says, with a confide grin.
"Mr. Winchester, I advise against that strongly." Jeff pleads.
Dean ignores his lawyer, knowing he's only trying to do his job. But he needs to buy his brother some time. Some time to get this case closed, and then figured out a way to get him the hell out of here before he freaks out.
"Talk directly into the camera. Start by stating your name for the record." Pete explains as he presses record on the camera.
Dean clears his throat, hoping this is the right approach. Or wondering if this is going to get him locked away indefinitely. Ballard seems like a more reasonable cop than her partner Sheridan, so Dean can only pray that while she's around things won't get out of hand.
"My name is Dean Winchester. I'm an Aquarius. I enjoy sunsets, long walks on the beach, and frisky women. And I did not kill anyone. But I know who did. Or rather, what did. Of course, I can't be sure, because our investigation was interrupted. But our working theory is that we're looking for some kind of vengeful spirit." Dean explains, waiting for someone to laugh at him, or punch him in the face.
"Excuse me?" Detective Ballard asks, clearly confused.
"You know, Casper the bloodthirsty ghost? Tony Giles saw it. I'll bet you cash money Karen did too. But the interesting thing is the word it leaves behind. For some reason, it's trying to tell us something. But communication across the veil ain't easy. Sometimes the spirit...they get things jumbled. You remember 'redrum'? Same concept. It can be word fragments, and other times..." Dean pauses to pull out a piece of paper with his word combinations on them.
Dean doesn't allow Diana Ballard's stunned expression stop him, but he makes a note that she seems to have a different reaction to what he's saying then the rest of the group.
"It's anagrams. See, at first, we thought this was a name...Dana Shulps. But now, we think it's a street...Ashland. Whatever's going on, I bet it started there." Dean smiles, as he finishing, looking away from the camera and looking towards Pete. Knowing Pete is not going to be happy at all.
"You arrogant bastard. Tony and Karen were good people, and you're making jokes." Pete is getting pretty angry.
"I'm not joking, Ponch." Dean replies seriously.
"You murdered them in cold blood, just like that girl in St. Louis." Pete states.
Dean looks back to the camera. "Oh ya, that wasn't me either. That was a shapeshifter creature that only looked like me."
Pete grabs Dean and slams him against the wall. Dean tries not to panic as Pete presses his full weight against Dean. He knows this is nothing like before, he knows he just pissed the cop off. But Dean knows that doesn't matter, it still brings back bad thoughts and panic. Dean tries to stay cool, tries to keep his game face on.
"Pete, that's enough!" Diana yells at Pete.
"You asked for the truth." Dean says as Pete lets go of him.
"Lock his ass up." Pete yells, leaving the room with Diana.
Dean tries to calm his nerves as an officer in the room turns Dean round, and puts some handcuff on him. Dean closes his eyes and takes a deep calming breath, praying that his brother can get him out of his as fast as possible.
SPNSPNSPN
Diana and Pete go straight to Sam's room to find him missing, Pete is pissed but Diana is surprising calm. So Diana lets Pete leave to blow off some steam. Diana wants to believe these boys are innocent, but she wasn't prepared for the evidence she would receive to prove the boys are telling the truth.
After Diana has her own encounter with the spirit in the women's washroom, and she allows herself to freak out a little. Diana then asks an officer to bring Dean back to one of the interrogation room.
Dean is a little concerned when he's pulled back into an interrogation room so quickly. He just got himself calmed down in his cell. But he's relieved to see Detective Diana Ballard enter the room, instead of her partner.
"Can we make this quick? I'm a little tired. It's been a long day, you know, with your partner assaulting me and all." Dean says quickly, trying to remain an act of his old cocky self.
"I wanna know more about that stuff you were talking about earlier." Diana asks, clearly nervous and shaken.
"Time Life. "Mysteries of the Unknown". Look it up." Dean replies, trying to stay cool, but a little intrigued.
"Let's pretend for the moment you're not entirely insane. What would one of these...things be doing here?" She asks, not letting Dean's remarks stop her from getting answers about what she witnessed.
"A vengeful spirit?" When she nods, Dean continues. "Well, they're created by violent deaths. And then they come back for a reason, usually a nasty one. Like revenge on the people that hurt them."
"And uh...these spirits...they're capable of killing people?" Diana asks, as she brings up a hand to scratch the back of her neck.
That's when Dean notices the dark marks on her wrists.
"Where did you get that?" Dean asks, motioning to her wrist.
Diana pulls her sleeve up, and looks even more freaked out.
"I don't know. It wasn't there before." She states.
"You've seen it, haven't you? The spirit."
"How did you know?"
"Because Karen had the same bruises on her wrists. And I'm willing to bet that if you look at Giles' autopsy photos, he's got them too. It's got something to do with the spirit. I don't know what." Dean rambles, as Diana turns away from him.
Dean knows this is a hard thing to accept, it always hard for him to explain it to new people. He hates that he has to shattered the illusion of the world, and reveal that there are worst things out there that can destroy the world.
"I know. You think you're going crazy. But let's skip that part, shall we? Because the last two people who saw this thing died pretty soon after. You hear me?" Dean continues, needing to get Diana's attention.
"You think I'm gonna die?" Diana asks, trying to calm her nerves.
"You need to go to Sam. He'll help." Dean explains, knowing this might be the thing to really screw him over in the end, or it could be the thing to help him.
"You're giving your brother up?" Diana's confused.
"Go to the first motel listed in the yellow pages. Look for Jim Rockford. It's how we find each other when we're separated. You can arrest him if you want. Or you can let him save your life."
SPNSPNSPN
Sam was a little pissed when he found out Dean told Detective Ballard how to find him. He was on the phone with Bobby explaining what had happened, and how freaked out he was when the detective showed up at his motel room door. Bobby said to call him back as soon as he could, or he would start traveling their way if he doesn't hear from them in the next couple hours.
Sam was, however, relieved to find out that Detective Ballard was here to help.
"These showed up after you saw it?" Sam asks, as he examines Diana's wrists.
"Yeah, I guess."
"Alright. Then you're gonna have to tell me exactly what you saw."
"You know, I must be losing my mind. You're a fugitive. I should be arresting you."
"Alright, well, you know what? You can arrest me later, after you live through this. But right now, you've gotta talk to me. Okay?" Sam rambles, hoping to god that he can someone get through this and get his brother out of custody before Dean has a freak out.
Diana nods, knowing there is something bigger going on here than she likes to admit.
"Okay, great. Now, this spirit...what did it look like?" Sam asks.
"She was um...really pale, and her throat was cut. And her eyes, they were this deep, dark red. It appeared like she was trying to talk to me, but she couldn't. There was just...a lof of blood." Diana explains.
"You know what, here. I've been researching every girl who's ever died or gone missing from Ashland Street." Sam explains, as he passes Diana a pile of photos.
"How'd you get those? Those are from crime scenes and booking photos?"
"You have your job, I have mine. Here, I need you to look through these. Tell me if you recognize anyone."
Sam and Diana take a seat at the table in the room. Sam waits as Diana looks through the photos, trying not to think about how his brother is doing all by himself in a locked jail cell.
After a moment, Diana finally finds the girl she's looking for in a mug shot.
"This is her. I'm sure of it." Diana hands the photo to Sam.
"Claire Becker? Twenty-eight years old, disappeared about eight or nine months ago?" Sam's not sure how helpful this may be, since it's not a murder. But he has to hope it's enough to close this case within the next few hours.
"But I don't even know her. Why would she come after me?" Diana asks.
"Well, before her death, she was arrested twice for dealing heroin. You ever work narcotics?" Sam asks.
"Yeah. Pete and I did, before homicide."
"You ever bust her?" Sam asks, holding up the photo for Diana to get another look at it.
"Not that I remember."
"It says she was last seen entering 2911 Ashland Street. The police searched the place, didn't find anything. Guess we've gotta check it out ourselves. See if we can find a body." Sam tells her, as she starts to get up. Ready to get this thing over with.
"What?" Diana asks, not sure what they could possibly do.
"Well, we've gotta salt and burn her bones. It's the only way to put her spirit to rest." Sam tells her.
"Of course it is."
SPNSPNSPN
Sam and Diana were able to find the body, but Diana wasn't prepared for what they found. As they are standing over the body, Diana notices a necklace that Claire is wearing.
"That necklace mean something to you?" Sam asks, when he notices Diana's interest in it.
"I've seen it before. It's rare. It was custom-made over on Carson street." Diana pulls out the necklace she is currently wearing, that was hidden under her shirt. It's the same necklace that is around Claire's neck. "I have one just like it. Pete gave it to me."
"Now this all makes perfect sense." Sam replies, starting to feel more nervous. He needs to get his brother out of custody.
"I'm sorry?" Diana asks, confused.
"Yeah. You see, Claire's not a vengeful spirit. She's a death omen." Sam explains, as everything becomes clear to him. All the new information doesn't sit well with Sam, as it implies Dean may be in bigger danger than he thought.
"Excuse me?" Diana is still not understanding any of this.
"Claire's not killing anyone. She's trying to warn them. You see, sometimes spirits...they don't want vengeance, they want justice. Which is why she led us here in the first place. She wants us to know who her killing is...Detective, how much do you know about your partner?" Sam asks, dreading the answer.
"Oh my god."
"What?"
"About a year ago, some heroin went missing from lock-up. Obviously, it was a cop. We never found out who did it. But whoever did it would need someone to fence their product." Diana explains.
"Someone like a heroin dealer. Someone like Claire."
"It's possible, but...Pete, he wouldn't...it can't be Pete." Diana tries to explain, not wanting this to be true.
"I understand it's hard to except that you don't truely know the people you surround yourself with. But if this is true, then my brother could be in some serious danger. I know you may still think we're the bad guys, but we're not. And my brother...he's been through a lot. A lot of stuff that's just because life threw some crazy stuff at him, and other because all he's been doing since he's been four years old if look after other people. So please, you need to help me get him out of custody. Please." Sam pleads.
Diana's not sure what to do, but she knows something's not right here. So she agrees to find out what's really going on.
Diana and Sam go back to Diana's police car, and Diana agrees to make a few calls to see what's happening with Dean. She's not expecting to hear what she does.
"Pete just left the precinct. With Dean." Diana tells Sam.
"What?" Sam is starting to freak out. He's not sure Dean can handle something like this. Not because he's a bad hunter, because he's one of the best. But because his memories might get the better or him.
"He said the prisoner had to be transferred, and he just took him. Dispatch has been calling, but he won't answer the radio." Diana replies, knowing this eliminates any doubts she may have had that Pete was innocent in all this.
"Radio? He took a county vehicle?" Sam asks, praying that he can get to his brother on time.
"Yeah."
"Then it should have a LoJack. You've just gotta get it turned on."
Sam lets Diana locate where Pete is taking Dean, while Sam give Bobby a call. He needs Bobby's help.
SPNSPNSPN
Dean was starting to get nervous. He had no idea if his brother was alright, and he had no idea where he was going. If he got to St. Louis, he's screwed. But Dean is starting to get the feeling that Pete may have other plans for him, as they seem to be taking a scenic route.
When the police van stops in a forested area, Dean tries to concentrate on breathing.
"Pee break? So soon? You know, you might wanna get your prostate checked." Dean says to Pete, trying to remain cool.
As Pete gets out of the vehicle, Dean can feel his panic start up a little bit. "Son of a bitch."
When Pete opens the door, Dean tries to remain cool. He tries to keep up his cocky cool act that he's been sporting ever since he was arresting, hoping that help him get through whatever is about to happen.
"Hey, I'm cool in the van. You go do what you gotta do." Dean jokes, but Pete still grabs him out of the van.
Pete slams Dean against the van, using the weight of his body and his grip on Dean's shirt to keep him in place. The situation is similar to the interrogation room, except no one here to pull Pete off Dean, and that's really starting to freak Dean out as he fights hard to keep his memories at bay.
"You're a cocky son of a bitch. You think those people in St. Louis are gonna buy that crap you're peddling? Here's the thing. You're not gonna make it to St. Louis. You're gonna die trying to escape. Doesn't mean I can't have some fun with you first." Pete boasts.
Dean starts to have problems breathing as his mind flashes to other men that said similar things to him. His mind barely even processes it when Pete punches him in the face. Dean falls to the ground, and curls up into a fetal position. Dean pulls his arms to his chest as he tries to breath, wanting Pete to just kill him.
"Please. Don't." Dean pleads, no longer able to keep up the act of his former cocky self.
Pete takes out his gun, but Dean doesn't even notice. He barely notices when Diana and Sam run to the scene.
"Pete! Put the gun down!" Diana yells, as she and Sam approach Pete. Diana has her gun drawn and pointed at Pete.
Sam is trying not to freak out, he can see the state his brother is in. He can tell his brother is in the midst of having a panic attack. And until Pete lowers his weapon, there's no way he can get to his brother without being shot.
"Diana? How'd you find me?" Pete asks, as he turns to face Diana and Sam.
"I know about Claire."
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Put the gun down!" Diana yells again, feeling slightly conflicted about what she might have to do.
"No, I don't think so. You're fast. Pretty sure I'm faster." Pete boast, feeling pretty safe in his situation.
"Why are you doing this?"
"I didn't do anything Diana"
"It's a little last for that." Diana shakes her head, she can't believe she never saw it before.
"It wasn't my fault. Claire was gonna turn me in, I had no choice." Pete defends.
"And Tony? Karen?" Diana asks.
"Same thing! Tony scrubbed the money, then he got skittish. Then he wanted to come clean. I'm sure he told Karen everything. It was a mess. I had to clean it up. I just panicked."
Sam tries to make eye contact with his brother, but Dean has his eyes close. Sam is freaking out, he doesn't have his brother's pills with him, how could he be so stupid. In the midst of everything he left them at the motel. And now, they are out in the middle of nowhere, and who knows what's going through his brother's head.
"How many more people are gonna die over this Pete?" Diana asks, bring Sam back to the current situation and out of his thoughts.
"There's a way out. This Dean kid's a friggin' gift. We can pin the whole thing on him, okay? No trial, nothing. Just one more dead scumbag." Pete explains.
Sam feels tears welling up in his eyes, as he thinks how the old Dean would have responded to such a thing. He needed to get to his brother, now.
"No one will question it. Diana, please. I still love you." At that, Diana lowers her gun. "Thanks you."
As Pete turns to re-aim his gun at Dean, Diana shoots Pete in the back. Pete falls to the ground, dropping his gun. Diana approaches Pete, clearly pissed off.
"Then why don't you buy me another necklace, you ass." Diana sneers.
Sam didn't wait to see if Pete was dead, or just injured. He didn't pay attention to the scuffle between the injured Pete and Diana, or Claire showing up, or the second shot that kills Pete. Sam just needs to get to his brother.
When Pete is dead, Diana isn't sure what to do as she sees Dean still huddled on the ground and Sam whispering to him.
"Come on Dean, please. You gotta relax. You're safe. Nothing is going to happen to you." Sam whispers to his brother.
"Is he okay?" Diana asks, placing a hand on Sam's shoulder.
Sam jumps at the contact, wiping a tear from his face.
"No, he's having a panic attack and he's not listening to me."
"Okay, I'll give you space." Diana takes a few steps back, not wanting to crowd the brothers.
Sam gets extra low to the ground, and gently places his hands on either side of Dean's face.
"Dean, open your eyes and look at me." Sam pleads.
"I...I can't." Dean replies weakly, trying to breath.
"You're not there Dean, you're safe with me. Just open your eyes."
Dean slowly opens his eyes, and tears run down his face.
"That's it. Just breath okay. Pete's dead, he wasn't trying to...you're going to be okay." Sam rambles, pushing his own panic and tears aside.
After what seems like an hour, Dean finally calms down enough for Sam to help him sit up. Sam leans his brother against the car, and after a few more moments Dean can breath again.
"Sorry." Dean mumbles as he catches his breath, wiping the tears from his face.
"It's okay. What happened?" Sam asks.
"Not a lot before you showed up. I guess I just freaked. Pathetic I know." Dean mumbles.
"No, not pathetic. Come on, let's get you up." Sam doesn't want to push the subject, because he can't risk Dean freaking out again when he doesn't have any pills. Sam feels they got pretty lucky tonight.
"Everything okay?" Diana asks, standing by Pete's body.
"Ya." Sam replies, unsure. "You doing all right?"
"Not really. The death omen, Claire...what happens to her now?" Diana replies, not sure how to take all this.
"It should be over. She should be at rest." Sam explains.
Dean clears his throat, hoping to avoid any awkwardness. "So, uh...what now, Officer?"
"Pete did confess to me. He screwed up both your cases royally. I'd say there's a good chance that we can get your cases dismissed." Diana explains.
"You could take care of that for us?" Sam asks, kind of surprised.
"I hope so. But the St. Louis murder charges...that's another story. I can't help you with that. Unless...I just happened to turn my back, and you walked away. I could tell them that the suspects escaped." Dian continues, fighting back a grin.
"Wait, are you sure?" Sam says, before he can really think about it.
"Yeah, she's sure Sam." Dean answers quickly, needing to get out of here fast.
"Okay." Sam wishes he could say more, but he's concerned about Dean. He knows that he's not okay yet, even though he got the panic attack under control.
"I just want you guys out there, doing what you do best. Trust me, I'll sleep better at night. Listen, you need to watch your back. They're gonna be looking for both of you right now. Get out of here. I've got to radio this in." Diana doesn't leave Pete's side, wanting the boys to leave so she can sort all this out.
"Hey, you wouldn't happen to know where my car is by chance?" Dean asks, knowing it's probably not what he should be focused on right now. But if his mind starts thinking about anything else, he'll freak out again.
"It's at the impound yard on Robertson." Diana notices the look on Dean's face. "Don't even think about it."
"It's okay, don't worry. We got someone coming, he'll help. Thanks." Sam smiles, as he pulls Dean away.
Once they are a good distance away from Diana, Dean finally asks the question. "Do we really have someone coming?"
"I had to Dean. What was I supposed to do?" Sam is already defensive, as he knows they have a long walk ahead of them and really doesn't want to spend their time fighting.
"Well, were is he?" Dean asks, not really wanting to see Bobby again so soon, but he can admit they are kind of out of options.
"I donno, I'll give him a call." Sam says, as he pulls out his cellphone and dials Bobby's cell.
Dean continues to walk next to his brother as Sam talks to Bobby. Dean doesn't want to think anymore. He just wants his pills, and some alcohol to wash it all down. Have a boring dreamless night sleep in a nice bed. But he can't have that. He knows his brother isn't going to let him out of his sight for awhile. And he really doesn't want to talk about what just happened.
Sam hangs up the phone, and looks over at his brother. He can tell Dean is fighting with something right now, but he's not sure if it's wise to confront Dean about what happened earlier.
"Bobby says he's about an hour out. He's going to meet us at the main road. We may have to avoid some cop cars on the way, but other than that we should be okay. Just got a bit of a walk ahead of us." Sam explains.
"Are you going to tell him?" Dean asks, knowing it's stupid to bring it up since then it will start a conversation he doesn't really want to have.
"Tell him what?" Sam asks, confused.
"Come on Sam, I know you're not dumb." Dean snaps, not wanting to get into this.
"Fine, ya, I probably will. Because you know what Dean, you really freaked me out back there. What happened?" Sam demands, knowing he shouldn't be angry or frustrated with Dean. He knows Dean is only being defensive right now.
"Nothing, it was nothing." Dean's anger deflates, and he stares down at his feet as they continue to walk.
"It wasn't nothing." Sam mumbles.
"Can we not talk about it now. I'd rather avoid having another panic attack while we're trying to avoid the cops." Dean rambles, needing any excuse to stop his brother from pushing.
"Okay, fine."
They continue to walk, occasionally having to duct in the bushes to avoid a cop car. Eventually they meet up with Bobby, who drops them off at their motel room while he goes to steal the Impala out of impound. Neither of the boys really talk to each other as they pack up their stuff. Dean knows this means they are probably going back to Bobby's, and that makes him feel even weaker and pathetic. He just wants all this to be over.
SPNSPNSPN
TBC
Hope you all enjoyed the new chapter. Reviews are amazing and always welcome. I may not have a lot of free time in June to get a new chapter out, but I will try.
Thanks!