Disclaimer: I don't own FY or Tasuki, so please stay the hell away from me.
But I do own Tansho, so stay the hell away from her as well.
Chapter 21 The Gentle Burning
"You're soaking wet!!" Tasuki suddenly replies. His tone has transformed from sorrowful to amused. He has a strange way of doing that, yet I find a warm comfort in it. I have never liked a man to brood over things, whether they be great or small. Tasuki seems to understand this. "Is it raining?" he asks.
"It started when you left. I followed almost right after you...when I made you leave," I say, suddenly feeling the shame of how I treated him. Telling him to go--to go away from me. "I didn't want to say those things, Tasuki. I really..." I try to explain myself further to him, but his fingers are suddenly pressed close to my lips, bringing back to my mind the fresh memories of our meeting by the latrines.
"Don't talk about that now," he says to me in his sensual voice, the one that I have memorized, "All that's over." He raises his eyebrows, waiting patiently for my response, my understanding. I nod silently, finally realizing that what I said to him on the veranda means nothing to us at this moment.
He leans over and lightly kisses my forehead. Instinctivly, I move into him. He releases his firm hold on me finally, but I instantly want him back, pressing me into him like he was only a few moments before. He reaches a hand up, brushes away strands of my wet bangs, and trails his lips above my eyebrows again. I feel his soft, unruly hair glide like flower petals over my forehead, and the erotic tightening in my lower abdomen instantly begins. Out of familiarity with his gentle touch, my knees weaken and I lean hard into him, trying to ease my already developing ache for him.
Gods, how I desire this man! He could simply touch a stand of my hair and I would instantly want to take him. His sensuality makes me sick with lust. And yet I realized long ago, when I first laid the palm of my hand on the warmth of his bare stomach, that my emotions for him go far beyond simple lust for his body. I do crave him, though. His eyes, his mouth, his hair, his hands. I lust after every part of his body, but I also have an unquenchable longing for his words, his soul, his heart--the things that govern the body I desire so fervently. The burning and tightening of my insides worsen until I have to stiffle a soft moan.
And I wonder if his feelings toward me are similar. I know for a fact that he tried his best to resist me. At first, he thought no more of me than he did of the other harlots that lusted after him like wild animals. What made him love me? Certainly not only my beauty. Koi, Misa, Okichi, and Asako's beauty is older than mine, of course; but they're bodies are no more tainted than my own. So, the only thing that remains is what I hold inside of me. My soft words, my vulgar humor, and my unabashed wit--all brought together in a strange elixer to create the woman I am known as. Not that my seductiveness didn't help, because Tasuki and I both know that it did. And strangely enough, these things are also all found in the man I love. He is sensual, humorous, vulgar, sarcastic, kind, and unbelieveably seductive. Fate is no fool. She knows what she is doing.
All the while my thoughts are running wild, so are his lips. Soon, he has strayed from my forehead and is now hovering over my mouth like a heavy fog. But even though I feel his own desire coursing through him steadily, he refrains from kissing me. Instead, he backs away slowly and looks down at me, a side-ways smile on his face.
And just as his hands reach out to me again, a loud bang from outside echoes inside the room, causing him to return his arms to his sides as if he were caught doing something he shouldn't. With a start, I realize that it is no doubt the guards I encountered at the gates. Of course they would come to Tasuki's room. A strange woman approached the southern gates of the palace in the middle of the night and demanded to see Tasuki, one of the warriors of Suzaku. I mentally slap myself. It was foolish of me to announce who I was looking for, but then again, I suppose it was my desperation that took over.
I give Tasuki a nervous glance and press my fingertips to his mouth as a sign for him not to speak too loud.
"Master Tasuki!" a masculine voice yells from outside, followed by another series of loud bangs on the wooden door.
He takes my shoulders and pulls me close to him, then tilts his head until his lips are next to my ear. "How did you get in the palace, Tansho?" he whispers.
"I attacked the guards and broke through the gates," I reply matter- of-factly. The look he gives me almost makes me break into a fit of giggles, but I know better than to make light of the present situation I've been caught in. I still have to grin at the shock painted on his face. He takes a deep breath and lets it out as if trying to calm himself.
"Move over here," he whispers to me, taking my hand and pulling me beside one of the other doors and pressing my back to the wall. I'll be hidden behind the door when he opens it to speak with the guards.
"Don't worry," he mouths to me as he steps back in front of the door. After a few moments of disheveling his clothes and ruffling his hair to feign being awakened he roughly yanks the door open and gives a chilling stare at the men on the other side.
"What the hell do you want?!" he yells at them, pretending to be seriously annoyed. His irritated demeanor must be believable; the guards can't seem to fine their voices. "Well?" he barks.
"Par-pardon us, Master Tasuki, we did not mean to-to wake you.but.there is an intruder in the palace.a woman who claims that she-"
"A woman?!" Tasuki shouts, feigning disbelief. "You're out there banging on my door, waking me up in the middle of the damn night because of one woman?! I didn't know that one little girl could cause you guys to piss your pants." I bite my lips to stifle another giggle. He stands there and glares at them, seeming to dare them to speak again. When they can't seem to find a reply to his outburst, he seems pleased. Then his light smirk transforms to anger. "Well, get the hell on! I'm tryin' to sleep, dammit!"
With that, he slams the door in their faces. Once we hear the reluctant retreat of their heavy boots echoing on the wooden veranda, we can't hold our laughter in any longer. I collapse in laughter into his outstretched arms. I am more relieved than I am amused, and I think Tasuki is as well.
"You didn't really attack them , did you?" he asks once our laughter quiets.
"Well, sort of," I admit truthfully, "I rammed into one with my shoulder and knocked him over onto the other one. Then they both fell back onto the gates, knocked them open. I ran through, got chased by them for awhile, ducked in here to get away.and.here I am!" I flash him a playful smile, give him a light kiss on the lips, and try to walk around him towards the fire. I think I'll freeze if I stay in this wet gown any longer!
But before I can take a single step, I feel his arm snake around my waist and pull me to him until my back is pressed firmly against his chest. And instead of trying to squirm away, I melt into him, leaning all of my weight gratefully on him. He runs his hands up and down my arms, trying to generate heat to smooth the goose bumps on my skin caused by the chill of the rain. I lean my head back and settle it in the valley of his throat, turning my face to the side just enough to kiss his shoulder.
Suddenly, he takes my arms again and turns me around until I'm facing him. And before I can protest or even notice what he's doing, he begins to tug at the sash of my rain-soaked gown. Strangely, my previously un-used modesty flares and I pull away from him in shock.
He looks at me with furrowed brows and an unbelieving look on his face. "Hell of a time to be actin' shy!" he cries out with a curt laugh, his usual heavy accent drawling his words. I frown.
"Don't you make fun of me!" I spit back, not insulted by his remark but rather annoyed by the amused look on his face. "You start pulling on my clothes like some horny old man...what do expect me to do?"
He grins at me wider and begins to laugh softly, then gives me another shocked look of unbelief. "You do that to me all the time, Tansho!!" he retorts.
"So?" I reply quickly. "At least I give you a warning!"
"Umm...if you ever did...I never noticed it," he answers, moving closer to me again, his hands reaching for my sash. "Consider this a warning," he replies, beginning work on undoing my gown, "You're wet and you'll catch cold if you stay in that dress." He seems to notice my annoyance again and quickly continues. "You can wear my shirt for a while can't you?"
He looks out at me from beneath his heavy red bangs, his shining irises enchanting the hell out of me. I am even further annoyed, realizing that his simplest gesture can make me do whatever he wishes. He smiles at me alluringly as he finally unties the sash and lets it fall to the ground at my feet. The thin gown hangs open in front with nothing to keep it closed, and it is too easy for him to slip him hands over my shoulders and nudge the fabric away from my skin until it, too, flutters to my feet.
I stand naked in front of him, but the shame of my bare body died long ago. I am not embarrassed or self-conscious. In front of his eyes, I feel at home. I feel I belong here. They are so different from other men's eyes--so unselfish. He takes me in slowly. I watch in erotic amusement as he roams over the slopes of my shoulders, down the full double curves of my breasts, and over the width of my womanly hips--his eyes showing his fascination as they travel slowly down the entire length of my body. He has seen me several times before, but he looks at me like it was the first time. I smile sweetly, like a woman should when she has pleased a man. But then cold courses through my body as a draft hits my skin. I shiver and wrap my arms around myself, bringing Tasuki out of his studies.
"I'm so stupid," he mumbles, shaking his head. He turns and grabs up his white cotton shirt from the chair behind him. "Here, put this on until your dress dries." He bunches up the material in his hands, ready to help me pull it over my head. Obeying him, I lift my arms and I watch in delight as his eyes widen considerably at the obvious movement of my breasts. He halts momentarily, his eyes resuming their lustful stare. I realize that I like for him to look at me, and I lean my head to one side alluringly, inviting him to look all he wants. But soon I am too cold to care whether or not I am arousing him, and I clear my throat and lift my arms higher. Finally, he lifts the shirt above me and helps me work my arms and head gently into it, pulling it down over my naked form. He carefully wraps his hand around the curtain of my brown hair and untucks it from the shirt collar, his fingers lingering on after he has rearranged it over my shoulders.
He smiles at me when I drop my arms again. His fangs gleam in the dim light of the room like diamonds. His eyes burn with hunger, and I wonder for a moment if he will lose control and take me before I can say a word. I suddenly find that I wouldn't mind it one bit if he did. But, strangely, he takes his hand away from my hair without even touching my face. He picks up my sash and gown from the floor and arranges them carefully over the back of the chair so they will dry evenly, then sets it close to the small fire burning in the room's hearth. I take a moment to relish the feel of his shirt on my chilled skin. It is soft from so much wear and warm from being near the fire, and its thick fabric strongly carries his scent of masculinity and nature. It is almost as if I am touching his skin, not just his shirt. I wrap my arms around myself as if I could bring him closer to me.
"Come here," he replies, motioning for me to sit on his bed. "Your feet are covered in mud! Were ya' running barefoot or something?" I smile and do as he asks me.
"My slippers fell off," I answer when I have made myself comfortable on the bed by the wall. "So I just left them in the streets somewhere."
"No matter," Tasuki says, "You got cute feet anyway--when they're clean." He chuckles to himself and fills a large basin with a pitcher of water on a small table near the bed. He grabs a cloth and picks up the basin from the table, careful not to spill the water as he walks to the bed and kneels at my mud-caked feet.
"You're gonna clean my feet?" I ask slowly, half surprised and half amused.
"Sure," he answers, moving himself into a cross-legged position, "Why not?" He lifts his eyes to meet mine, and the familiar tingling deep in my abdomen is awakened for the second time since I entered his room. Only Tasuki's eyes and hands and body could do this to me--only him.
He dunks the cloth in the basin of water and wrings it out. I feel the longing in my belly begin to burn harder when he takes one of my feet in his hands and begins to gently scrub away at the already-drying mud. He dunks the cloth again, quickly turning the water a light shade of reddish- brown.
When he finishes rubbing the mud off my right foot, he settles it in the hollow between his crossed legs and begins patting it and my lower calf dry with another cloth. I relish in the warmth of his hands, the pressure of his fingers holding my heel. I am astonished that such little, seeminlgy unimportant actions are so emotional to me. I am fascinated with this man. Everything about him is so wonderful. The way he touches me, kisses me, speaks to me, holds me, makes love to me...it's all something I never thought I would have. And yet I do have it, right here in front of me. And I realize that I would do anything to keep it from leaving me--to keep him from leaving me.
He begins to wash my left foot now, repeating his gentle motions from before. I know I have to tell him all. I have already told him about me and Shingen, but I have yet to tell him about how I came to be in Shingen's possesion; and about Mount Reikaku, the place I once called my home, the place he wants to take me to once he returns from Hokkan.
"Tasuki," I reply, annoyed at how nervous my voice sounds. I have no need to be nervous around him; he loves me, and I love him. I force my voice to take on its previous nonchalance. "I want to tell you something."
He looks up only briefly to urge me on with the flicker in his eyes. "Okay," he says, returning his attention to a stubborn smear of mud on my ankle.
"Do you remember when I told you about myself?" I begin. He stops rubbing my foot, but keeps his head lowered. "I want to tell you why...I mean I want to tell you how I came to be a... slave." I hate saying the word. It tastes like acid on my tongue, burning and eating away at me. I run the words I want to tell him through my mind. What will he do when he hears where I was born? How I came to be in Shingen's possession. How will he react to it all?
I feel his fingers tighten around my ankle and foot, almost out of nervousness. Or maybe he doesn't know what to do or say to me now that I'm finally about to tell him everything. I say a quick prayer to any god who will listen to me. Maybe none of them hear it--maybe all of them do. The gods have never seemed to pay much attention to me. I scold myself for not following the example of the other women and going with them on their weekly visits to the shrines and temples. Perhaps if I had paid more attention to the gods, they would pay me some attention at this moment when I needed it most. Perhaps if I knew that they truly existed, then I would have cared. But I could not remember one time I had received any help from them-any mercy. I just hope that either way, my heart will finally lose its burden and allow peace to fill up the hole that will be left behind.
A/N: Ah, yet another of my infamous cliff-hangers!! *A mob of Tansho and Tasuki fans grab their machetes and begin swinging violently at Iseult* Please, do calm yourselves, everything is about to be revealed!! Yaaay!! You'll finally hear all about Tansho's mysterious past--aren't you so happy you could just rip all of Tasuki's clothes off and completely maul him??!! ^_^ *Ahem!* Sorry about that! I have the frantic need to get my perverted thoughts out in another lemon.. ^_^
Replies to reviewers:
Tensai-yuki: You know, I've actually entertained the idea of Tansho meeting Miaka and the others, but you'll just have to wait and see what I decided to do. ^_^
Penguine: Thanks so much! And as for Tasuki's eyes.I knew someone would point this out to me again. I know that they're amber in the anime series, OAVs, and most of the pics you can find of him. But when I first started watching FY, I found a pic of him where his eyes are dark green and not the normal amber color. For some reason, I just thought green eyes suited him better so that's why I decided to write him as having them.
Zerianyu: Actually, I really am planning to become a freelance writer and novelist once I get out of college. ^_^
Shadow priestess: Thanks.but don't learn to write like me.learn to write like yourself! ^_^ Just read whatever you can get your hands on and learn from other authors (that's what I did!! ^_^)
Shadowkeyu: You'll see why I decided to do what I did. It really makes the storyline take on a feel of reality and will definitely hook you if you were only half into this fic before. And about her father giving her up.details on that soon!! (promise!!)
Thanks again for all the great reviews!!! Luv you!!!
Chapter 21 The Gentle Burning
"You're soaking wet!!" Tasuki suddenly replies. His tone has transformed from sorrowful to amused. He has a strange way of doing that, yet I find a warm comfort in it. I have never liked a man to brood over things, whether they be great or small. Tasuki seems to understand this. "Is it raining?" he asks.
"It started when you left. I followed almost right after you...when I made you leave," I say, suddenly feeling the shame of how I treated him. Telling him to go--to go away from me. "I didn't want to say those things, Tasuki. I really..." I try to explain myself further to him, but his fingers are suddenly pressed close to my lips, bringing back to my mind the fresh memories of our meeting by the latrines.
"Don't talk about that now," he says to me in his sensual voice, the one that I have memorized, "All that's over." He raises his eyebrows, waiting patiently for my response, my understanding. I nod silently, finally realizing that what I said to him on the veranda means nothing to us at this moment.
He leans over and lightly kisses my forehead. Instinctivly, I move into him. He releases his firm hold on me finally, but I instantly want him back, pressing me into him like he was only a few moments before. He reaches a hand up, brushes away strands of my wet bangs, and trails his lips above my eyebrows again. I feel his soft, unruly hair glide like flower petals over my forehead, and the erotic tightening in my lower abdomen instantly begins. Out of familiarity with his gentle touch, my knees weaken and I lean hard into him, trying to ease my already developing ache for him.
Gods, how I desire this man! He could simply touch a stand of my hair and I would instantly want to take him. His sensuality makes me sick with lust. And yet I realized long ago, when I first laid the palm of my hand on the warmth of his bare stomach, that my emotions for him go far beyond simple lust for his body. I do crave him, though. His eyes, his mouth, his hair, his hands. I lust after every part of his body, but I also have an unquenchable longing for his words, his soul, his heart--the things that govern the body I desire so fervently. The burning and tightening of my insides worsen until I have to stiffle a soft moan.
And I wonder if his feelings toward me are similar. I know for a fact that he tried his best to resist me. At first, he thought no more of me than he did of the other harlots that lusted after him like wild animals. What made him love me? Certainly not only my beauty. Koi, Misa, Okichi, and Asako's beauty is older than mine, of course; but they're bodies are no more tainted than my own. So, the only thing that remains is what I hold inside of me. My soft words, my vulgar humor, and my unabashed wit--all brought together in a strange elixer to create the woman I am known as. Not that my seductiveness didn't help, because Tasuki and I both know that it did. And strangely enough, these things are also all found in the man I love. He is sensual, humorous, vulgar, sarcastic, kind, and unbelieveably seductive. Fate is no fool. She knows what she is doing.
All the while my thoughts are running wild, so are his lips. Soon, he has strayed from my forehead and is now hovering over my mouth like a heavy fog. But even though I feel his own desire coursing through him steadily, he refrains from kissing me. Instead, he backs away slowly and looks down at me, a side-ways smile on his face.
And just as his hands reach out to me again, a loud bang from outside echoes inside the room, causing him to return his arms to his sides as if he were caught doing something he shouldn't. With a start, I realize that it is no doubt the guards I encountered at the gates. Of course they would come to Tasuki's room. A strange woman approached the southern gates of the palace in the middle of the night and demanded to see Tasuki, one of the warriors of Suzaku. I mentally slap myself. It was foolish of me to announce who I was looking for, but then again, I suppose it was my desperation that took over.
I give Tasuki a nervous glance and press my fingertips to his mouth as a sign for him not to speak too loud.
"Master Tasuki!" a masculine voice yells from outside, followed by another series of loud bangs on the wooden door.
He takes my shoulders and pulls me close to him, then tilts his head until his lips are next to my ear. "How did you get in the palace, Tansho?" he whispers.
"I attacked the guards and broke through the gates," I reply matter- of-factly. The look he gives me almost makes me break into a fit of giggles, but I know better than to make light of the present situation I've been caught in. I still have to grin at the shock painted on his face. He takes a deep breath and lets it out as if trying to calm himself.
"Move over here," he whispers to me, taking my hand and pulling me beside one of the other doors and pressing my back to the wall. I'll be hidden behind the door when he opens it to speak with the guards.
"Don't worry," he mouths to me as he steps back in front of the door. After a few moments of disheveling his clothes and ruffling his hair to feign being awakened he roughly yanks the door open and gives a chilling stare at the men on the other side.
"What the hell do you want?!" he yells at them, pretending to be seriously annoyed. His irritated demeanor must be believable; the guards can't seem to fine their voices. "Well?" he barks.
"Par-pardon us, Master Tasuki, we did not mean to-to wake you.but.there is an intruder in the palace.a woman who claims that she-"
"A woman?!" Tasuki shouts, feigning disbelief. "You're out there banging on my door, waking me up in the middle of the damn night because of one woman?! I didn't know that one little girl could cause you guys to piss your pants." I bite my lips to stifle another giggle. He stands there and glares at them, seeming to dare them to speak again. When they can't seem to find a reply to his outburst, he seems pleased. Then his light smirk transforms to anger. "Well, get the hell on! I'm tryin' to sleep, dammit!"
With that, he slams the door in their faces. Once we hear the reluctant retreat of their heavy boots echoing on the wooden veranda, we can't hold our laughter in any longer. I collapse in laughter into his outstretched arms. I am more relieved than I am amused, and I think Tasuki is as well.
"You didn't really attack them , did you?" he asks once our laughter quiets.
"Well, sort of," I admit truthfully, "I rammed into one with my shoulder and knocked him over onto the other one. Then they both fell back onto the gates, knocked them open. I ran through, got chased by them for awhile, ducked in here to get away.and.here I am!" I flash him a playful smile, give him a light kiss on the lips, and try to walk around him towards the fire. I think I'll freeze if I stay in this wet gown any longer!
But before I can take a single step, I feel his arm snake around my waist and pull me to him until my back is pressed firmly against his chest. And instead of trying to squirm away, I melt into him, leaning all of my weight gratefully on him. He runs his hands up and down my arms, trying to generate heat to smooth the goose bumps on my skin caused by the chill of the rain. I lean my head back and settle it in the valley of his throat, turning my face to the side just enough to kiss his shoulder.
Suddenly, he takes my arms again and turns me around until I'm facing him. And before I can protest or even notice what he's doing, he begins to tug at the sash of my rain-soaked gown. Strangely, my previously un-used modesty flares and I pull away from him in shock.
He looks at me with furrowed brows and an unbelieving look on his face. "Hell of a time to be actin' shy!" he cries out with a curt laugh, his usual heavy accent drawling his words. I frown.
"Don't you make fun of me!" I spit back, not insulted by his remark but rather annoyed by the amused look on his face. "You start pulling on my clothes like some horny old man...what do expect me to do?"
He grins at me wider and begins to laugh softly, then gives me another shocked look of unbelief. "You do that to me all the time, Tansho!!" he retorts.
"So?" I reply quickly. "At least I give you a warning!"
"Umm...if you ever did...I never noticed it," he answers, moving closer to me again, his hands reaching for my sash. "Consider this a warning," he replies, beginning work on undoing my gown, "You're wet and you'll catch cold if you stay in that dress." He seems to notice my annoyance again and quickly continues. "You can wear my shirt for a while can't you?"
He looks out at me from beneath his heavy red bangs, his shining irises enchanting the hell out of me. I am even further annoyed, realizing that his simplest gesture can make me do whatever he wishes. He smiles at me alluringly as he finally unties the sash and lets it fall to the ground at my feet. The thin gown hangs open in front with nothing to keep it closed, and it is too easy for him to slip him hands over my shoulders and nudge the fabric away from my skin until it, too, flutters to my feet.
I stand naked in front of him, but the shame of my bare body died long ago. I am not embarrassed or self-conscious. In front of his eyes, I feel at home. I feel I belong here. They are so different from other men's eyes--so unselfish. He takes me in slowly. I watch in erotic amusement as he roams over the slopes of my shoulders, down the full double curves of my breasts, and over the width of my womanly hips--his eyes showing his fascination as they travel slowly down the entire length of my body. He has seen me several times before, but he looks at me like it was the first time. I smile sweetly, like a woman should when she has pleased a man. But then cold courses through my body as a draft hits my skin. I shiver and wrap my arms around myself, bringing Tasuki out of his studies.
"I'm so stupid," he mumbles, shaking his head. He turns and grabs up his white cotton shirt from the chair behind him. "Here, put this on until your dress dries." He bunches up the material in his hands, ready to help me pull it over my head. Obeying him, I lift my arms and I watch in delight as his eyes widen considerably at the obvious movement of my breasts. He halts momentarily, his eyes resuming their lustful stare. I realize that I like for him to look at me, and I lean my head to one side alluringly, inviting him to look all he wants. But soon I am too cold to care whether or not I am arousing him, and I clear my throat and lift my arms higher. Finally, he lifts the shirt above me and helps me work my arms and head gently into it, pulling it down over my naked form. He carefully wraps his hand around the curtain of my brown hair and untucks it from the shirt collar, his fingers lingering on after he has rearranged it over my shoulders.
He smiles at me when I drop my arms again. His fangs gleam in the dim light of the room like diamonds. His eyes burn with hunger, and I wonder for a moment if he will lose control and take me before I can say a word. I suddenly find that I wouldn't mind it one bit if he did. But, strangely, he takes his hand away from my hair without even touching my face. He picks up my sash and gown from the floor and arranges them carefully over the back of the chair so they will dry evenly, then sets it close to the small fire burning in the room's hearth. I take a moment to relish the feel of his shirt on my chilled skin. It is soft from so much wear and warm from being near the fire, and its thick fabric strongly carries his scent of masculinity and nature. It is almost as if I am touching his skin, not just his shirt. I wrap my arms around myself as if I could bring him closer to me.
"Come here," he replies, motioning for me to sit on his bed. "Your feet are covered in mud! Were ya' running barefoot or something?" I smile and do as he asks me.
"My slippers fell off," I answer when I have made myself comfortable on the bed by the wall. "So I just left them in the streets somewhere."
"No matter," Tasuki says, "You got cute feet anyway--when they're clean." He chuckles to himself and fills a large basin with a pitcher of water on a small table near the bed. He grabs a cloth and picks up the basin from the table, careful not to spill the water as he walks to the bed and kneels at my mud-caked feet.
"You're gonna clean my feet?" I ask slowly, half surprised and half amused.
"Sure," he answers, moving himself into a cross-legged position, "Why not?" He lifts his eyes to meet mine, and the familiar tingling deep in my abdomen is awakened for the second time since I entered his room. Only Tasuki's eyes and hands and body could do this to me--only him.
He dunks the cloth in the basin of water and wrings it out. I feel the longing in my belly begin to burn harder when he takes one of my feet in his hands and begins to gently scrub away at the already-drying mud. He dunks the cloth again, quickly turning the water a light shade of reddish- brown.
When he finishes rubbing the mud off my right foot, he settles it in the hollow between his crossed legs and begins patting it and my lower calf dry with another cloth. I relish in the warmth of his hands, the pressure of his fingers holding my heel. I am astonished that such little, seeminlgy unimportant actions are so emotional to me. I am fascinated with this man. Everything about him is so wonderful. The way he touches me, kisses me, speaks to me, holds me, makes love to me...it's all something I never thought I would have. And yet I do have it, right here in front of me. And I realize that I would do anything to keep it from leaving me--to keep him from leaving me.
He begins to wash my left foot now, repeating his gentle motions from before. I know I have to tell him all. I have already told him about me and Shingen, but I have yet to tell him about how I came to be in Shingen's possesion; and about Mount Reikaku, the place I once called my home, the place he wants to take me to once he returns from Hokkan.
"Tasuki," I reply, annoyed at how nervous my voice sounds. I have no need to be nervous around him; he loves me, and I love him. I force my voice to take on its previous nonchalance. "I want to tell you something."
He looks up only briefly to urge me on with the flicker in his eyes. "Okay," he says, returning his attention to a stubborn smear of mud on my ankle.
"Do you remember when I told you about myself?" I begin. He stops rubbing my foot, but keeps his head lowered. "I want to tell you why...I mean I want to tell you how I came to be a... slave." I hate saying the word. It tastes like acid on my tongue, burning and eating away at me. I run the words I want to tell him through my mind. What will he do when he hears where I was born? How I came to be in Shingen's possession. How will he react to it all?
I feel his fingers tighten around my ankle and foot, almost out of nervousness. Or maybe he doesn't know what to do or say to me now that I'm finally about to tell him everything. I say a quick prayer to any god who will listen to me. Maybe none of them hear it--maybe all of them do. The gods have never seemed to pay much attention to me. I scold myself for not following the example of the other women and going with them on their weekly visits to the shrines and temples. Perhaps if I had paid more attention to the gods, they would pay me some attention at this moment when I needed it most. Perhaps if I knew that they truly existed, then I would have cared. But I could not remember one time I had received any help from them-any mercy. I just hope that either way, my heart will finally lose its burden and allow peace to fill up the hole that will be left behind.
A/N: Ah, yet another of my infamous cliff-hangers!! *A mob of Tansho and Tasuki fans grab their machetes and begin swinging violently at Iseult* Please, do calm yourselves, everything is about to be revealed!! Yaaay!! You'll finally hear all about Tansho's mysterious past--aren't you so happy you could just rip all of Tasuki's clothes off and completely maul him??!! ^_^ *Ahem!* Sorry about that! I have the frantic need to get my perverted thoughts out in another lemon.. ^_^
Replies to reviewers:
Tensai-yuki: You know, I've actually entertained the idea of Tansho meeting Miaka and the others, but you'll just have to wait and see what I decided to do. ^_^
Penguine: Thanks so much! And as for Tasuki's eyes.I knew someone would point this out to me again. I know that they're amber in the anime series, OAVs, and most of the pics you can find of him. But when I first started watching FY, I found a pic of him where his eyes are dark green and not the normal amber color. For some reason, I just thought green eyes suited him better so that's why I decided to write him as having them.
Zerianyu: Actually, I really am planning to become a freelance writer and novelist once I get out of college. ^_^
Shadow priestess: Thanks.but don't learn to write like me.learn to write like yourself! ^_^ Just read whatever you can get your hands on and learn from other authors (that's what I did!! ^_^)
Shadowkeyu: You'll see why I decided to do what I did. It really makes the storyline take on a feel of reality and will definitely hook you if you were only half into this fic before. And about her father giving her up.details on that soon!! (promise!!)
Thanks again for all the great reviews!!! Luv you!!!