Tears filled my eyes and I ducked my head shamefully. I suddenly found myself in his arms, and pulled him closer as I succumbed to the tears.
"Phin... why?" he murmured
"I.. I'm sorry" I whispered
I felt him shaking his head, and he guided me slowly to the bed. He picked up my fallen journal and handed it to me. I wiped my eyes on my arm, and opened the journal to a random page. I cleared my throat and read
"Journal. Today was the first day I had to face without Ferb. Dear god... it... It was so hard... Everyone was pitying me, and I hated it. They made me feel like I can't deal with it on my own. In all truth... I cant. But they don't need to know that. In all truth... I never will be able to deal with it. I need Ferb. End of story. My heart feels like it has been ripped out and torn to pieces, and the one person that can fix it is dead. My reason for getting up every day, and dealing with Isabella, and all the jerks at school... is dead. Today... I did something I'm not proud of. I cut. Quite a few times. I sliced my inner thigh to to high hell. I'm surprised to say, it actually does remotely help. I sliced my inner thigh so mom wont see it... It would hurt her if she did" I finished it and set the book down beside me, and Ferb was completely frozen.
"Phin-" he choked "Phin did you... did you really...?" he left the question hanging
I stood silently, and dropped my shorts, and pulled up the leg of my boxers, revealing the mauled torn and scabby skin that used to be my smooth inner thigh. He reached out and ran his thumb over the scabs softly, then stood and pulled me securely into his arms. I nuzzled my cheek into his chest, and he murmured
"where else?"
"everywhere mom wouldn't see..." I whispered