~Letting go has never been easy, but holding on can be as difficult. Yet strength is measured not by holding on, but by letting go~
-Len Santos
Chapter Twenty-One
Moving On
It had been a few days since the memorial of Dr. Janet Frasier. Mr. Bregman was gone as was his camera crew. He left a copy of the documentary with General Hammond to do what he wanted. General Hammond put it with the mission files. Only those with top-level security could view it. General Hammond knew SG-1 was still broken up about Janet's death. They were all very close especially Katelyn and Sam.
Sam and Katelyn decided to take Cassie out to lunch one day. General Hammond gave them a week of leave after what had happened. Sam and Katelyn picked up Cassie at school during her lunch hour. Cassie was taking Janet's death hard. Who could blame her? Cassie had a grim look on her face when Katelyn picked her up outside the front of the school building. Cassie waved to her friends and got into the back seat of Katelyn's Mini Cooper. "Hi Cassie, how are you doing?" Sam asked looking into the back seat. Cassie was looking out the window at the passing school. "I'm fine Sam, really." Cassie wasn't sure who she was trying to convince more, Sam and Katelyn or herself.
Sam looked at her then turned forward. Katelyn was just pulling up to Olive Garden. "Are we going to have time to eat? I only have a half an hour." Cassie said. Sam smiled. "I called the school. You don't have to go back today." Cassie smiled slightly and nodded. Sam, Katelyn, and Cassie walked into the restaurant and a table was chosen for them by the host. A server came over and asked for drink orders. When their drinks were brought to them, they ordered. Twenty minutes later their food came. There wasn't much conversation going on. "Cassie, I know how hard this is for you. I lost my mother when I was about your age. It gets easier, I promise. You have people who care about you." Sam said.
Cassie's eyes brimmed with tears. She didn't say anything for a minute. "I know. It's just so hard. This is the second time I've lost my mother." Cassie said referring to when she lost her biological mother on the planet SG-1 found her on. "I know honey. I'm so sorry. You should never have had to go through that once, let alone twice." Sam said. Cassie picked at her food. Katelyn was quiet. "Cassie, I want you to know that your mom was an amazing person. She saved people and she died doing what she set out to do. No one could ask for a better, more honorable way to die than the way Janet died. She didn't deserve it. She deserved it least of all, but everything, I mean everything, happens for a reason. We'll get through this, one way or another. Janet's in a better place. Think about all the good she did and that she's somewhere happy. She wouldn't have gone if it wasn't time for her to go. Now, she's somewhere better and she's there because she fulfilled what she was supposed to do here and she did it before all of us."
Cassie was quiet for a minute then smiled. "Thanks Katelyn." Sam, Katelyn, and Cassie finished eating then they went back to Katelyn's car. Cassie was ahead of them. Sam stopped Katelyn. "That was amazing what you said. It even made me feel better about losing Janet." Katelyn smiled. "It's really what I think. With all that we see and all that doctors see, we have to think there's something better out there or what's the point."
Sam thought for a minute. "You're a really deep person Katelyn." Katelyn laughed. "Thanks." Sam and Katelyn walked to the car and they all went to see a movie at the IMAX Theater.
It was late and Katelyn dropped Sam and Cassie off at Sam's house. She figured Daniel might be home so she went to see. As she neared his house, she saw the living room light on. She parked her car and walked up to the front door. Katelyn and Daniel were so past knocking. Katelyn opened the front door quietly. Daniel was asleep on the couch. Katelyn smiled at him. She took off his glasses, draped a blanket over him, and turned off the light. She kissed his forehead and went to change. She always had a pair of sweatpants at Daniel's house to sleep in as she was there quite often. She went and lay in Daniel's bed, knowing he wasn't going to move from the couch.
She fell asleep thinking of where Janet might be. She otherwise slept soundly through the night. In the early morning, Daniel came stumbling into his room, found Katelyn sleeping in his bed, and knew she was the one who covered him with the blanket.
He smiled at his best friend and let her sleep while he showered. When he came out of the bathroom, he was dressed and clean-shaven. Katelyn was already awake and sitting up in his bed. She smiled at him as he walked out of the bathroom. "Morning, Sleepy Head." Daniel said. "Good morning Daniel." Katelyn replied getting out of his bed. "Sorry, I wasn't awake when you got here last night." Daniel apologized. "It's okay, I came unannounced." Daniel smiled. "You know this is as much your home as it is mine." Daniel said.
Katelyn smiled and nodded. They went out to the kitchen together to make breakfast. Not quite sure what else to do, Daniel and Katelyn went to the SGC. Katelyn changed into the clothes she wore the day before. She didn't bother changing since she had to change into the SGC clothing anyway. Sam was spending most of her time with Cassie instead of at the SGC, which was good for both of them. Teal'c was in his room just sitting there. Daniel went to his office to get something. Katelyn knocked on the door. "Come in Dr. Warner." Teal'c said. Katelyn entered. "I was thinking, maybe on Friday we could all go out to dinner somewhere nice as a memorial kind of thing for Janet. One last way to pay respects." Teal'c bowed his head slightly. "Alright, I'll go tell the others. Wear something nice." Katelyn said before leaving. "See ya Teal'c." Teal'c looked at a picture of Janet and sighed.
When Katelyn met up with Daniel again, she told him of her idea. He agreed and they told Jack and Sam. Friday it was. Katelyn made reservations. It was only about a day away. Katelyn stayed at Daniel's house those two nights. On early Friday evening, Katelyn got ready. She wore a red dress and Daniel wore something nice as well. Katelyn and Daniel drove to the restaurant where the rest would be meeting them. First to arrive was Sam and soon after, Jack and Teal'c. They ordered wine and food. Everyone looked at each other. "How are you all holding up?" Jack asked. "Alright." Katelyn replied between sips of red wine.
"I'm doing fine. Cassie, I can't say the same for." Sam said. "It was a terrible loss, but it is indeed a part of our job." Teal'c said. "It is apart of our job, but it doesn't make it hurt any less." Daniel said. "Yeah, I'm doing about as well as you all are." Jack said as their food arrived. Before they began eating, Katelyn stood up. She had her glass in her hand. "I wanted to toast this wonderful night to Janet. She should have been here, but she's someplace better now. I read something the other day and I thought it appropriate. ' And in confronting death, we grow weak, but in that moment of weakness we grow strong. With that strength, we move on.' So, I say this is to moving on and moving past, something Janet would want for us."
Katelyn finished and held up her glass before taking a drink. "To moving on." Everyone said afterward and took drinks from their own glasses. Katelyn sat back down and they began eating. Their dinner topics came easily, most of memories of things past that have happened regarding the SGC. Everyone was laughing, like before. "Do you remember that time when Jack was aging so fast? We were so afraid to lose him, but seeing him old like that was hilarious, looking back on it, of course." Daniel said laughing. Katelyn hadn't been there for that, but she read the file. "You know I think one of the worst things I've been through was when Teal'c and I got stuck in that time loop. After a while, I lost track of time. It was apparently months. It got so boring after a while; we just started doing whatever we wanted. Teal'c and I golfed through the Stargate. It was a world record, I think. Light-years away. Do you think we could go into Guinness Book of World Records when the Stargate goes public?" Jack said.
Everyone laughed harder. "I don't know, Sir." Sam said. "That seems like it would be exploiting the advantages the Stargate has and will continue to give us." Sam laughed. Katelyn looked around and the people who came known to her as her family. So much bad had happened, but still they could look back on that bad and laugh. They could remember the good that came before and good that became because of it. Katelyn knew that somewhere Janet was out there watching, knowing that SG-1 and everyone else she had touched would make it without her and that they would learn and grow stronger from this unfortunate event. Katelyn knew that Janet was out there somewhere and that she would know they would get past this and move on.