Heeeeey...
I know I've been gone for a long time. Longer than ever in all honesty, the point is...too much happened in the last month, and in between busy for school and absolutely no wi-fi, I only really got the time to write this in pieces during this week. It sucks. But it happens.
School got really busy, and the problem was also that I spent one week doing this thing called THIMUN, really fun, but, once I got home I sort of just went to sleep because it was very tiring. Then the next week, I spent catching up with all the school work I'd missed, as well as studying for upcoming tests, which were all a pain in the ass. There were also sport matches I had to go to and...well, we got a puppy so that too. Then the week before this we went skiing, and there wasn't proper time to write and yes...no one cares but there was no time.
Thank you so much to all of those that follows this story, as it just reached +500 followers. I know, for some that's not much, especially after so long, but It means a lot to me, cuz I never thought it'd reach this number.
As well as thanks to all that read this far and have been here for almost a year now. Stood by since the beginning, XD.
AND just fyi, this story officially hit the 100k word mark. I'm proud of myself because it's the first, and I'm happy it's the first because so much as gone into this and I'm just sort of proud as well.
So please enjoy, although this is mainly just a filler chapter, and a lot of mental dialogue. Too much in my opinion.
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X-X-Veteris Amica? Quid Dicere?-X-X
(Old Friend? Say What?)
-.-.-
17th January
-.-.-
Old friend of yours. The words repeated themselves in his mind. Who could it be. Who in their right mind would come and live here in the middle of nowhere. An old friend of his. He realized, none of his friends really possessed all marbles. So perhaps, there could really one of them here.
Just maybe.
He reached the bar, it was open, there were actually people inside, and it actually looked clean. He opened the door and stepped through. A lady was cleaning the main counter, a tv on top of her turned on.
"Still no word on the whereabouts of Steve Rogers after his public feud with Tony Stark and the Avengers over the controversial Sokovia Accords," the woman on it was saying.
Percy started seeing black. No word on the whereabout of Steve Rogers. The words rung in his head, quickly followed by the others. Public feud with Tony Starks. What had he missed, what had the Avengers been up to in the past month. Could they not last a moment without him. And what in full Hades were the Sokovia Accords?
Torn Between Laws And Accords.
The phrase of the prophecy whispered in his mind. He was so close to punching the wall, but there was more…
"Ratified by 117 countries, the Accords place the Avengers under U.N. authority and provide a framework for the registration and monitoring of all Enhanced Individuals," she continued.
Percy rolled his eyes, he knew this was going to happen sooner or later. Apparently it was sooner. The lady on the screen continued talking, but his attention was caught by the door opening.
Two men, one dressed in a military suit that signified he was of some importance, and the other…Percy's breathing stopped.
"…here because the president sent me," the military one was saying as they both entered. "The Sokovia Accords are law of the land now. He's concerned you may have some undocumented Enhanced Assets working for you."
The military dressed man stopped, after the other one stopped. The other one stopped because…it was the exact same reason as to why Percy had stopped breathing.
The two men stared at one another, one shocked and taken by surprise, while the other with a look of pain, betrayal and much deeper feelings. The military man looked between the two confused as Percy was the one to break word first.
"You're supposed to be dead."
Phil Coulson opened his mouth, and then paused for a moment, his lips still parted. His head moved to the side a little, like he was talking, but he wasn't. Then he closed it again, and said, "It's really complicated—"
He was stopped by a phone ringing. Percy jumped a slight little at the unexpected sound, so unused to it after a month where there was no technology. He was even more surprised when he realized it was on him. That something in his back pocket was buzzing and making a very frustrating sound. He moved his right prosthesis unconsciously to grab the phone on his back pocket, millions of thoughts passing through his head as he did. Slowly realizing the smoothness of the movement.
How the hell did he have a phone on him?
Last time he'd had one was on that little silly trip with Poseidon, that had happened over a month prior. Even then, he had been sure that the thing must have broken due to the heavy rains, and if not that, then the long stay at the bottom of the ocean. He hadn't even seen the thing since then, so he wondered, how was there a phone ringing in his back pocket?
When he pulled it in front of him, he recognized it as his very own smart phone, one Tony had specifically made for his abilities and limitations. He came to the conclusion that it was all on his father, the phone and all, because there was no way in hell that such a device would have survived through a month at the bottom of the ocean.
He checked who was calling, and found himself surprised to find it be Tony. He looked at Phil Coulson and the other man, the army official, and then swiped to answer the call, even though the former's eyes were telling him to do everything but.
"Tony?" he greeted, surprised.
He heard an exasperated exhale. "God bless," Tony said at recognizing his voice. "Where the hell have you been?"
"Can we talk about that another time, please," Percy said, sitting next to the general official and in front of Coulson on the table they were at. "The television is on and I have as many questions for you and Steve than you do about me. Let's come to an agreement and say we'll talk about them another time. I'm in a situation. I'll call you back."
He retreated the phone from his ear, hearing Tony say, "What kind of situation?" Before he shut the call down and put the phone face down on the table they were around.
His eyes pierced Coulson with blame and demand. "I heard about you," he said. "Read your files. And you know the one I found the most delightful, was the one that explained your death."
"There is a lot that you don't know, Mr.—" Percy cut him off with a look. Then cocked his head to the side, pointing at the elder man next to him. His point was clear, don't give my identity —however you know it— to the man next to me. Coulson didn't say his name, instead continued, "If you were to hang around a little more, then we can discuss things."
Percy sat back, his mind having already come to a solid conclusion as to what this all was. An idea, a plan though out by Nicholas Fury all those years ago to bring the Avengers together. But then he thought about the he's an old friend of yours part. Phil Coulson and he had never met in real life. Percy only knew about him because sometimes his name had been brought up by Tony or Steve, and from there curiosity sparked and had him on the ropes for searching about him. Knowing who the guy was, until he read the file of his death.
That was a let down.
But as he rethought about it, the fate might have been orchestrated, and honestly, Percy wasn't as surprised as he had claimed second prior, that it was. Nicholas Fury was some man, and this sort of thing was totally in his powers.
It was cruel though.
Although he still didn't understand how they were friends this way. They were perhaps connected through others, and their friendships, but the two had never previously met. Let alone built a friendship.
"I don't need to hear it," he said at Coulson. "Whatever the reason, it was years ago. So whatever."
The man next to him coughed to get attention. "I'm sorry, Phil," he said, not sounding at all sorry. "Who is this guy again?"
Phil Coulson looked at Percy for a moment before saying, "Agent Johnson, Level Eight."
Percy was the one confused, and ready to bombard him with questions now. "What do you mean?"
"S.H.I.E.L.D., remember," Coulson said with a grin. "Come, let's all go for a ride."
The general, looked further confused, "What, no blindfold?"
"No," Coulson said, "but I'd suggest buckling up."
"What?" the general guy asked.
Phil did it, Percy saw no reason why he shouldn't. He found the buckles at his sides, like those in an airplane, and closed them around his waist, whatever was about to happen, the more prepared he was the better. The general on the other hadn't did not put on the belt, and when Phil nodded his head at the barista, and the table booth started moving downward, he grabbed the edges of the table, pushing Percy as he did so.
It started slow, and then got faster the lower it got. Until it stopped at the basement no doubt. When the rotations locked in to place, and Percy was sure that they weren't going to go down further, he said, "I thought Cap dismantled S.H.I.E.L.D. two years ago at the triskelion."
Coulson unbuckled the belt. "And from it, this rose from its ashes. Free of Hydra. Only those trusted enough were let in, until we expanded more."
Percy followed in the action of removing the belt. "But what for? Hydra fell with S.H.I.E.L.D."
Coulson stood, his hand on the door that would perhaps open up a new world to Percy. One he had abandoned two years prior. One he could get back to after the mess with the demigods and the primordial was over. If S.H.I.E.L.D. still existed, perhaps he could get back in. Find purpose again by helping them.
"You're in for a rude awakening," Coulson said, opening the door and exposing bunker like hallways, men in lab coats walking around, men in bulletproof vests guarding the exits. And just…Agents in general.
"Right under my nose, this whole time," the general said as they started walking through the corridors. "Like a pack of sewer rats."
He had a point, Percy thought as he walked behind them. He only had to try to understand what was going on, and then from there, see where his help was needed, and why it had to be his help and not someone else's. Why go to all the trouble though, to keep themselves this away from society.
"I didn't even know this SSR base existed," the general continued.
"It was never on the books," Coulson agreed with the general. "I'd like to keep it that way." He said as a way of requesting that the base remained secret. The agent went to the trouble to turn and look Percy in the eye, signifying that the request included him as well. He only gave a subtle nod. Coulson turned to the general, "I'm trusting you with our biggest secret. Now I need you to trust me."
Percy thought this was it, he was finally going to understand what on earth he was there to do.
"Don't report our inhumans," Coulson said, sending Percy off the edge of confusion. "Some battles need to be fought with secret warriors."
Percy wasn't against that ideal originally. The only problem with that though, was that those on the same team did not know. What happens then, is that trust is broken, and loyalty never reached again. Bonds snapped in a matter of seconds. If he had to lose people so that more would make it…he now agreed it was the better choice. Once he wouldn't have.
"How many you got?" The general question Coulson. Percy couldn't see anything of their faces. "I know about Daisy and Electro-Boy, who else?"
His thoughts got even more confused at that statement. 'Electro-Boy', was he some sort of Jason two point o'? And what the hell did they mean by inhuman. If they weren't human what on earth were they then if they were such a problem? Aliens? He sure as hell had enough of those.
Coulson limped ahead. Limping was not something Percy had read about him. He'd read that the agent was a healthy man. Something must have happened recently, causing the injury, or else…he had no idea. "You're about to meet one," Coulson said to the general, but Percy knew the words were for his ears as well.
The general, looked over his shoulder, at Percy, gave him an odd look. An arched eyebrow, an assessing gaze. Percy knocked his head forward, like he was asking, 'What you looking at?'
A door in front of them opened. A metal door that resemble nothing more than a high security prison door. Percy's hair stood lightly on edge. Like his whole being stood on edge. A woman stepped through. She looked nothing like a prisoner though, nothing like an alien. No, she looked as human as it got. Latina, curly brown hair, fair skin, red shirt and leather jacket.
Why was she classified as an inhuman then?
What could she do?
A horrible thought passed through his head. The word demigod loudly in his mind.
What if she was a demigod. What if these inhumans were all actually demigods and they'd been discovered and this was really why he had been sent here to help this old friend.
Then he looked at the girl carefully.
She was not a girl, she was a woman. Good in her thirties. Well developed and all. She was too old, to be a demigod. That's what he thought before he remembered about the Roman demigods. His gut told him, that no, she wasn't a demigod though. No matter the possibility. She wasn't half god, she was something else. Part of something else.
But what was she?
"Welcome back, Mrs. Rodriguez," Coulson said at the woman. Rodriguez, he kept the name in mind. Just in case he'd ever cross the woman again.
The woman nodded in greeting. "Director Coulson."
It took him a moment to fully acknowledge those words. Director. Coulson here, had been promoted apparently. Last Percy had read about him, he had seen him to be Level eight. Much like himself in all reality. Now, if things worked the same as they did in the old S.H.I.E.L.D., Coulson was his superior. A man he had never met or ever sworn to be under the orders. Percy was taken aback a little bit.
Coulson acted like nothing big had been revealed to Percy, shifting his weight a little between his feet. "Mack couldn't be here," he sends, bringing another player into the game. Mack. Talking of which, Percy had still no idea who the general guy was, or what he was doing, or what his friends, the Avengers, had gotten themselves into. It was kind of hard to know when you spent the last month at the bottom of the ocean. "He sends his regards."
Sure he did.
"This is Brigadier General Talbot," Coulson continued, coincidentally mentioning who the guy was. "Acting head of the ATCU. Here's here to—"
The woman —Ms. Rodriguez— cut him off. A bold move. "I know why," she said very seriously, her tone getting hard at the edges. "I watch the news."
Percy was starting to hope he had too. Percy was starting to hope that he knew exactly what had happened between his friends. Why they were split. Why they were in a feud. Somehow, he had the itch that whatever these Accords wasn't it.
Coulson turned sideways, to general Talbot. "We found Ms. Rodriguez in Colombia," he said, his eyes flicking to Percy's for a split second. "She was being a real thorn in the side of the drug cartels, using her powers to clean up her neighborhood, to fight the good fight."
Silent heroes then. That's what they were. Silent heroes who had powers and didn't mean any harm. At least he hoped. Perhaps, he thought, that perhaps he was sent here for a reason. If the fight against Tartarus was going to go well on their side, perhaps they'd need all the heroes they could manage, and he was recruiting.
He scoffed within himself at the silly thought.
Him, recruiting.
No, if they wanted extra players they'd send someone more friendly. Perhaps once he might have been the right guy, now, he was certainly not. He wasn't the friendly-looking, or even the open to all ideas type of guy any more. Might have been, isn't anymore. If they needed recruiting, Frank and Hazel would be his best bet. Perhaps even Leo and Piper, but otherwise…not him.
He moved to the side, disliking the back view of it all. Leaned on the brick wall and crossed his arms, his leg crossing over the other. "Put me on your list," Ms. Rodriguez said. "There will be a price on my head."
He cocked his head to the side, like he hadn't heard correctly. Why would there be a price on her head, what could she do that made her dangerous. And what was all this about a list? She glanced at him confused.
General Talbot's hands were clasped behind his back. "No one would ever find out about it," he said in a reassuring tone, swinging on the tip of his toes and then back to his heels as he said it.
"Ingenuo," she said, in what he himself recognized as Spanish. A language he wasn't fluent in, but his years as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent enough to make him understand what she was saying. Naive. He smirked a little, liking this woman character she possessed. What he liked even more, was when she started walking through them, and they opened up to let her through.
"I think that means—" Coulson was saying with a grin.
General Talbot cut him off sternly. "I know what she's saying." He then lowered his voice, so that the retreating woman wouldn't hear. So that he barely heard it. "What are her powers?"
Coulson didn't take his eyes from General Talbot as he said loudly, "Elena, the general would like to see what you can do." He finished, turning around to see her back.
Percy turned to, as much as his position allowed him to. He saw it happen. It must have been quicker than light, but the moment he noticed something odd, he focused his senses. Perhaps a bit too much. He'd forgotten the extent of his powers, and right there, he was having a taste of what he'd been missing for five years. That feeling of utter power.
He saw her move, it was only a blur to him, but while she moved, back to the men, and then back to her spot, Coulson's chest hadn't moved a single hair. He hadn't breathed, his heart not beat. Everything was still and he couldn't understand how someone could travel so fast. How that would feel in any case. When all the cells in your body moved at that speed.
General Talbot smiled at her fake. "Any time."
It was her time to grin as she brought out the medals from behind her. General Talbot was sent into confusion as he checked his chest for missing medals. As he looked at Coulson and then at the woman. Ms. Rodriguez then approached him, just as the general went to retrieve his medals. They didn't exchange words as Talbot gabbed the medals and she turned her back, starting to leave again.
"Thank you," Coulson said and then she was gone.
"So she's fast," Percy stated. "That's it?"
Coulson turned to look at him, running his eyes over his position once and then saying. "Yeah," he said. "And she can fend for herself," he continued, his eyes turning to the general. "Not all Inhumans can."
"Okay hold up," Percy said, holding his hand up and standing on both feet. His prosthetic arm still crossed over his chest. "What are Inhumans?"
Talbot looked at Coulson incredulously. "Level Eight, and he doesn't know?"
Coulson didn't turn to the general, instead kept his eyes on Percy, giving him the chance to reply to this obnoxious question. Giving him the chance to prove himself in other words. Percy pursed his lips into a tight smile. "I've been out of commission since S.H.I.E.L.D. fell two years ago. Everything that's happened since, I don't know."
"Why are you bringing him in the fold, then?" the general questioned Coulson.
Coulson still didn't turn to pay attention to the general. "He's proven himself a trustworthy ally. Plus, I think he can be of help in what's happening."
"What do you mean?" Percy was quick to ask. Perhaps this is how he was meant to help. Perhaps what Coulson wanted him to do was exactly what Poseidon had instructed him to do.
"I'll brief you in later, Johnson," he said dismissively, then turned to the general again. "Inhumans like her aren't dangerous. Most of them are regular people with lives and families who just want to be left alone. If you force them to register—"
"It's a protected list," Talbot interrupted. "It's highly classified."
"Like the S.H.I.E.L.D.?" Percy butted in. "Last I remember of the old S.H.I.E.L.D., all classified files were sent to the open public. What if something like that happens to your list. What happens to all those people you say you'r protecting."
General Talbot didn't look happy. "You don't know what you're talking about, kid."
Percy cursed inwardly. He looked like a kid, he would always look younger than he was, and he hated that so freaking much. He wasn't a kid, no matter how much he might look like it. He was in his thirties for gods sake. He wasn't a kid.
"Don't call me a kid!" he said, raising his voice. "And even though I might not know what the hell Inhumans are, I've got a solid idea on the response people like you have on a kind."
"Nothing good ever comes from putting people on Indexes," Coulson said and when the general opened his mouth to speak, he continued. "I know that because of what happened to S.H.I.E.L.D.'s archives. They get misused and eventually fall into the wrong hands, and then innocent people suffer." Coulson turned around and when Talbot didn't say anything about it he said, "You're about to meet one."
-.-
Hearing that, Percy had thought it would have been in person, he hadn't thought it'd be behind a screen. Coulson had said something about him not being tested against diseases and stuff. He had listened, enjoying the quietness of this mission he was in. For once, the Avengers weren't there in the background making noise. For once it was him, alone.
It reminded him of his former S.H.I.E.L.D. days, where it was only him, and perhaps Natasha and Clint sometimes. But it was mostly him. Nobody else. No one he had to make sure didn't die, and no one making sure he died. Just him. In the field, alone. That's how he worked best. How he had learned to work best. Not as a team, but alone.
Right now, it was good. He was in a room —Coulson's office— sitting in a comfy chair looking at camera footage on his own. It was just right for him.
Most of all, it was quiet.
He looked at the man lying on the bed, late twenties at maximum, with blonde hair and—his eyes were closed. He was probably as tall as Percy himself and clear lines were visible of muscles beneath the shirt he wore. He had facial hair, which was probably because he was in a cell. However comfortable it looked.
Much better than what he knew.
Or maybe it was simply a containment room, not meant to make the one within feel too uncomfortable.
He certainly wished his father had been as generous.
As he waited for the General Talbot and Coulson to get into it and start whatever conversation, he noticed something wrong with the footage. Something was not right. Spending years alongside Tony and his analytical mind had taught Percy some damn tricks, and he knew when surveillance wasn't right.
The man was sleeping, but it was too… It was like he was trying too hard. There was no extra movements whatsoever, not even within the room. Perhaps different sounds or different visuals. It was always that, it was always the same. Until the door opened and the general and Coulson stepped through.
The male, sat up on the bed, showing blue eyes as he opened them, and handsome features all together.
"Well, well, well," General Talbot said. "If it isn't the hothead that tied to kill my bodyguard."
Percy was impressed. He showed it clearly on his arched eyebrows.
The male, possibly Electro-boy —because come on, his self screamed Jason two point o'— turned to Coulson and said, "What's he doing here? Thought this was a germ-free zone."
Percy snorted. Coulson smiled. "I see you two remember each other."
General Talbot moved towards Electro-boy, his hands clasped behind his back. "You being here, is exactly why we need the Accords." That word again. Percy was sure to ask about what the damn these accords were, and when they'd popped up, and why. "It's about protection," the general continued.
Luckily for Percy, Electro-boy asked the right question. "Whose protection?"
"Everyone's," the general said, not really sign specific. This started a train of thought within Percy's mind. One he had no intention of following until this conversation was over. "People need to be protected when one of you runs amok. Some of you need protection from yourselves." He turned to Coulson. "Isn't that why you have him caged up?"
Coulson didn't break his stare. "He's under medical observation, general," he said.
General Talbot didn't think so as he said, "I've seen him in the field. He had control issues…lethal control issues."
"Issues that S.H.I.E.L.D.'s uniquely qualified to help him with," Coulson talked back, keeping his cool.
Percy could not see where this was going. If this was really about the electro-man anymore or was it more about S.H.I.E.L.D.'s deserved respect. Percy couldn't understand and he was glad when the man in question said, "How does this registration work? You put us on the a list. Then what?"
General Talbot was pleased, Percy could tell by the glint in his eyes, the little twitch, but he didn't show it anywhere else. "Fingerprints. DNA samples," he said as a way of answering the question. "We run a power analysis to categorize your threat level—" Electro-man's eyebrows quirked up disbelievingly. Talbot continued, "—Also used to determine health risks."
Percy knew from there on, that there was no way he would ever give in to these…Accords. There was no way he was going to let someone take his fingertips. Or for someone to realize that half of his DNA was missing and therefore raise questions about his alienship. Most of all, he wasn't going to let some weird scientists in white lab coats run tests on him to categorize how much of a threat he was. Would they know, he would already be on his way to the most secure prison in the world.
He had to, at all costs, keep his identity secret, and most of all, his newly required powers in check.
At the same time, he started to understand what might have happened with the Avengers. Why they had split up. No doubt some had agreed with them, others hadn't. What he didn't fully comprehend though, was what the news reporter had said, 'Still no word on the whereabouts of Steve Rogers after his public feud with Tony Stark'. It made it sound as though Steve was the one that was against the Accords, not Tony, and…it made no sense to him.
Apparently the idea of it sounded reasonable to the man, as he stood from the bed, standing tall and said, "Fine, I'll register. Sign me up."
Coulson approached the man. "I don't think that's a good idea," he said, in a way a mentor would to the student about a choice he was making.
The man didn't turn. "I don't think keeping me locked up is a good idea, either," he said turning slightly before looking back at the general. "Get me the hell out of here, and I'll register and tell you anything you want to know."
When Coulson said, "It's in everyone's best interest to keep him here right now." It gave Percy the idea that there was something very bad going on that Coulson did not want the general to know. What he was displaying to the general was a sugar honied version of what was really happening. What this really was.
"Not mine," the male said, his arms crossed across his chest.
General Talbot stepped closer to the man, getting so close their faces were inches apart. "If you're in here against your will, what's keeping you from just…zapping the two of us right now?" he asked.
The male didn't break his pose or expression as he said, "Absolutely nothing. I could fry that mustache right off your face. But that's just not who I am. Besides, I'd never make it off the base... not without help."
There were no more words exchanged, only the retreat of both the general and Coulson. They left the man standing in there while they took their leave. To be considered. Percy continued watching the footage as he waited for the two of them to reach the office. He watched as the male started walking back and forth in the room. His features getting more and more agitated.
Then someone made a mistake.
They made a loop of the footage, and replaced it with what was really going on.
Percy had a second to think on whether he should move and go check what was happening. He thought twice about it, this boy was not worth his trouble. If he left and the two men came in with him missing…He didn't want to think the trouble he could get in. Coulson knew who he was, there would be a manhunt for him, and all those questions he had never answered.
So he waited for the two men to come back.
.
I'm so hyped. You guys have no idea.
Marvel is being amazing. First they give us Thor: Ragnarok, amazing movie for everything, and then...They give us Black Panther! Almost even better, although I think they stand at the same point. It was awesome, and to all those that didn't watch it... what are you doing
It's great, especially that last post-credit scene
BCs Bucky.
There's going to be Bucky in this fic. There's going to be him in much more depth than I've written him in so far. There might even be too much but to all those out there that like that character...there will be much of him and...
Lemme just...backtrack on what I said a couple of chapter back, about Steve being selfish, like, I kind of wrote into the previous chapter, as actual part of the chapter, but, I need to shake it off, because I'm hungover from it, this might turn into a rant... but I suggest you read if you're interested in the deep stuff of these movies.
I said I hated Steve in the scene where they're in the CIA room thingy, waiting for Bucky's questioning and all, truth is...I didn't understand the man, or the relationship he had with Bucky.
I'm not team Iron Man, but I'm not team Cap.
They both had righteous reasons as to why they fought for what they did.
Tony screwed up, continuously, he lives with survivor's guilt and no doubt a hell lot of PTSD from all the events that happened to him both in the movies and before. He had a shitty childhood and even shittier grown-up life. He messed up bcs of it and when he was confronted on the mistakes he made *Ultron*, he didnt know how to deal with the guilt. When Ross came in with the Accords, he knew it was the only way to put his conscious back together. He didnt even need to contemplate as to whether he should or not. The choice had been made the moment he heard the possibility.
Why, because he has no self control and I don't even blame him for that. Why, because it's who he is. Since his parents died, he had Obadia - or whatevr his name is- to control him, and there wasnt him, there was Pepper, and Rhodey. Obdiah turned against him, had him captured and almost killed him, multiple times. That one father figure he'd had was really only there for the power and the fame and the money, not for him. Then Pepper couldnt deal with him anymore and left for some time to think, and he's left alone.
Again.
First his parents, and then the second family he built himself.
When he got the opportunity to be put in check, he did it for himself as much as he did it to prove he could change. He fought for himself, but he fought for Pepper as well I think.
Steve...that's a completely different story. 'For as long as I remember, I've wanted to do what was right. I'm not so sure what that is anymore.' That's what he tells Peggy in Winter Soldier, and here he's talking about S.H.I.E.L.D. that much is obvious, but I think this was the beginning of his journey to leave Captain America behind, because when he stepped into the role, he knew what he was fighting for, and he did it willingly and gladly, for the greater good. Now, not so much. He doesn't know, and if he doesnt have a clear purpose in his eyes, it's like it's not captain america anymore. It's someone else.
And everything goes to hell for him in that movie, in all honesty. His roots to being Captain America are broken. Bcs Captain America was created by S.H.I.E.L.D. in a way, and there they are, betraying him and actually coming out as Hydra. That's a killing blow as to what Captain America was. Then there's Bucky. This person who has been by Steve's side since forever. This person who was Steve's friend because it was Steve, not Captain America. This person that knew him before the serum, and still stuck by him, defended him, when he could have probably been the popular guy of the class.
We get to see in CATFA how much Steve cares for Bucky, and vice versa. We get to see the rage from Steve after his death, the guilt. And when Steve wakes up in the twenty-first century, we get to see his loneliness until he finds out about Peggy, but still, it's only him in the end. Until he sees Bucky on that bridge and everything he's known flips upside down, with both S.H.I.E.L.D. and his own emotions and he can't turn his back on his best friend because 'Even when I had nothing, I had Bucky'.
He can't turn his back and he doesn't, and when he tries to make him remember, and sees it's not working, he tells his friend to simply finish it, because if he turn, then there was probably nothing for him to live for anymore. S.H.I.E.L.D.'s gone, and he'd been living a lie for the past couple of years, why should he carry on, and he lets Bucky almost kill him.
When he gets pulled out from the river, he knows it was Bucky, so he goes after him. BEcause he knows that Bucky knows. And he knows he might as well be the only one able to pull him from that edge. From that cliff. And when Peggy dies, Bucky becomes the only one left alive from his time. The only person that ever truly knew him before the serum, that knew him as Steve, not Captain America. And Steve doesn't care if the whole world chases after him, he will not be chastised and not allowed to go after his friend.
He does not care if he will break the Avengers apart because, that's his friend, his brother, and he cannot ignore it when a situation is pointed south. And he didnt wish it otherwise. He tells Tony in Age of Ultron that he hasnt seen his dark side yet. This is his dark side, and his reason for not signing is just. It's more just than anything.
Both his reason and Tony's are just, and, if any of this will com up in this fic, you know what I mean. You'll know what I mean.
And I probably spent 1,000 words on that, but I don't care, I needed to get it out. I could go on but I won't, because what I want to say will simply be in one of the chapters that will come in the future.
So for now,
Peace out.
Hunter