Disclaimer: The characters still don't belong to me, just messing around with the plot line.

A/N: Thank you ALL! Sorry it took longer than usual. I was away for the weekend and just couldn't update. Hope it was worth the wait.

Thank you Jess and Stacy!

From Before…

Harry listened to Snape leave the room while he continued to stare at his open palms lightly touching his thumbs to each fingertip. He could take the dreamless sleep and forget about the whole incident and pretend like it never happened tomorrow or he could follow the professor and have tea like he suggested. That was the interesting part to everything Snape had said. Without coming right out and saying it, Snape had told Harry where to find him if he needed anything else. The question now was whether Harry did indeed need something else. And that answer was an obvious yes, but did he trust Snape?

Ch 21 – Fateful Revelations

Snape sat at his usual spot in the kitchen wondering if he had made the right decision. Maybe he shouldn't have left the boy in that state. But Merlin, he had no idea what he was doing when it came to things like this. He wasn't a parent and the only example he had to go on was his own mother, who was usually hurting as much as he was during his childhood.

He assumed leaving Harry to cool down would be better than pushing the child to the point that he resented Severus. And he hoped that giving Harry the option to come downstairs would encourage him to do so, thinking things were on his own terms. But now, after nearly twenty minutes, Severus was beginning to think he'd made a mistake.

Lily should be here comforting her son. And whose fault is it that she isn't? Severus asked himself bitterly. He let his eyes fall shut while he inhaled the soothing steam from his tea. Lily, what do I do?

When Severus opened his eyes, he thought for a second his internal musings had morphed into hallucinations as Lily's emerald eyes stared back at him. But then he realized she was just answering his prayer. He hadn't even heard Harry come in, but there he was sitting across the table.

Severus calmly poured a second cup of tea and pushed it towards Harry. It looked as though there was something right on the tip of Harry's tongue and he was just itching to spit it out.

Severus sat patiently sipping his own tea until Harry finally spoke up.

"Alright, I will answer your questions if you will answer mine," Harry all but demanded, with a determined stare.

Severus couldn't stop the small smirk. "How very Slytherin of you," he said.

"Well, the hat wanted to put me there," Harry replied candidly after realizing the compliment.

Snape's eyebrow rose with intrigue. "And I thought I had heard all of your unbelievable tales."

Harry smirked at the man. "It did," he reiterated.

"Do elaborate," Snape requested.

"It said Slytherin would help me on my way to greatness or something along those lines," Harry said, slowly losing the confidence he held a few seconds ago.

Severus stared at Harry intently. He would have never admitted it before, but now that he had gotten to know the child he could definitely agree with that old hat. Harry could be very cunning when he wanted to and he certainly had proven his ability to hide details he didn't want others to know about.

"What was its reasoning then, for not placing you in my house?" Snape asked watching Harry blush profusely.

"I uhh… begged it not to," Harry said, dropping Snape's gaze.

Severus wondered if Harry was afraid of hurting his feelings. "Really?" he asked in an amused tone trying to gain back the boy's eye contact.

Harry did chance a glance up while attempting to explain further. "Well, I didn't know much about the houses, but I had met Ron and his family already and they seemed really nice. And my only experience with Slytherin was Malfoy. We didn't really get off on the right foot and I don't think I would have had a very good time at school in the same house as him," he said nervously.

"Well that is understandable," Snape replied while internally cursing the entire Malfoy family. Things could have been so different if Harry had ended up in his house.

Harry eyed Snape wearily. "You're not mad?"

"With those previous experiences, I cannot fault your decision," Snape answered honestly. He thought it looked as though something more was on Harry's mind in regards to this topic, but couldn't figure out what it might be.

Harry just nodded his head and went back to his tea.

"Shall we return to your challenge? I cannot of course answer any questions regarding the Order. Otherwise, I will do my best," Snape said sincerely.

Harry gaped at the man.

"What did your nightmare entail?" Snape asked before Harry had a chance to realize what he had agreed to.

Harry's lips seemed to go dry almost instantly and he wished he could look anywhere but at Snape to avoid the question. He wanted to retort with something sarcastic like 'you already know', but he'd suggested this agreement and would now be man enough to follow through.

"My uncle," he finally said, hoping that would be a decent enough answer for Snape.

"Mm," Snape hummed thoughtfully but didn't ask anything else.

"What is Voldemort after?" Harry asked boldly and was immediately shocked to see Snape flinch.

"You will have to try again. That topic is off limits," Snape replied.

Harry was surprised Snape didn't shoot down his question in a much harsher manner and took advantage of the opportunity to try another question that just popped into his head. "Why do you hate it when people say his name?"

Snape clenched his jaw for a second before responding. "When being in the presence of someone for a certain amount of time, you become conditioned to certain behavior. It is almost reflexive," he answered carefully.

Harry nodded in understanding. "I heard everyone calling him 'My Lord' or 'Master'. You were punished for saying his real name, weren't you?" he asked quietly.

Snape clenched his jaw again, cringing at the idea of Harry referring to Voldemort in the same manner he was forced to. "Indeed. It is easier to use the same name at all times," he responded pointedly.

Harry nodded again, but kept quiet, sensing that Snape would prefer to discontinue this line of questioning.

Gazing into Harry's eyes, Severus was surprised to see something akin to intense sadness. He had chosen his own path and was now stuck with the consequences. Harry certainly shouldn't feel bad for him.

"What was your uncle doing in the dream?" he quickly asked Harry, changing the subject.

For a second Harry's whole body froze. He knew what Snape was going to ask next, but he still wasn't prepared for the question to be voiced out loud. Harry didn't know how to explain it, how much to explain, or if he would even be able to actually say it.

As if sensing his uncertainty, Snape spoke up. "Take your time. You will find the right words."

Harry set his cup down and wrapped his arms around his torso in a protective gesture. His eyes locked onto the tea pot in the center of the table and never strayed. Finally, he licked his lips before speaking. "He was hitting me," he said evenly.

"With what?" Snape asked without hesitation.

Harry shrugged his shoulders as if he didn't know the answer although he obviously did.

"His hands," Harry finally said, realizing Snape was still waiting patiently for some type of answer.

Severus wanted to ask more, but knew he had already pushed his luck getting two questions for the price of one this last round. Harry's answers were too short to be beneficial, but any answer at all was progress and Severus certainly didn't want to chase the child out of the kitchen this early.

Noticing that Snape didn't immediately ask another question, Harry retorted with his own. "Why did you become a Death Eater?" he asked.

Severus was taken aback by the audacity of the question yet he didn't detect anything accusatory in Harry's tone, just simple curiosity. In fact, the question only furthered Severus pride in the boy. Harry was certainly doing his best to make Severus as uncomfortable as he must have felt and using the little session to the best of his abilities.

Harry had returned his eyes to the professor's to judge the sincerity of his answer.

Severus held the boy's gaze with unwavering conviction. If anyone deserved an honest answer here, it was Harry. And if anyone deserved to pass judgment on him for those actions, it was Harry.

"I was young and foolish, and turned to the wrong place for what my life lacked," Snape answered, planning to stop there before thinking better of it. "The Dark Lord promised power, wealth, and respect - but above all else – acceptance and a sense of belonging."

Harry was astonished by the man's honesty. Snape could have easily left out the last part of that sentence and Harry would have bought his explanation. He never cared much about power, wealth, or respect, but he knew that most people could be influenced that way. It wouldn't have been hard to imagine Snape as that type of person. But the man admitted he spent his life searching for the same things Harry did. That realization led to a discomforting thought. What if he ended up like Snape? What if he made some foolish decision in search of those same things?

"You will not," Snape answered, knowing what Harry was thinking. "You have a loving godfather and devoted friends. And most importantly, I will not let you make the same mistakes I did."

Harry had to bite his bottom lip to stop it from quivering. Did that mean Snape wasn't going to leave him? This thought triggered another worry. "Was it my father's fault? And Sirius? For how awfully they treated you?" he asked in a very unsteady voice.

"My decisions are all my own. I have no one to fault for my actions except myself," Snape placated Harry instantly.

"I'm still sorry, you know. They had no right," Harry said quietly as he dropped his eyes to his cup of tea and entwined his fingers around it.

"You shouldn't be. In fact, you apologize far too often for things that are not your fault," Snape countered.

"Well, they're not going to do it," Harry retorted.

"I will not pretend to like the Marauders, as they will not pretend to like me, but that is hardly your concern," Snape tried to enforce his point further, although realizing in the back of his mind if he was to have any type of relationship with this child, he would have to start acting civilly towards Black.

"Right," Harry said as if thinking the same thing.

Harry sat quietly, trying to brace himself for whatever question Snape would throw at him next. He couldn't complain though. The professor had certainly supplied a much better answer to his last question than Harry had expected.

"Was your dream the reenactment of an actual memory or a hypothetical situation?" Snape finally asked.

"It's hard to say," Harry answered after a moment, knowing exactly what he just admitted to Snape but not able to actually speak it out loud.

Snape filled in Harry's unspoken words for him. "It happened often enough that the scenario in your dream could have been true?" he half asked, half told Harry.

Harry just nodded numbly in response. Why was he doing this? Why was he admitting this to Snape?

"When did everything start?" Snape asked softly.

Harry swallowed thickly and then opted to just shrug his shoulders as if he didn't know.

"Do you not know the specific day or was this treatment all you can remember?" Snape prodded further.

Harry was surprised the man didn't sound judgmental in any way and he wasn't mad at Harry for not answering his questions outright. Harry brought the tea cup up to his lips with shaky hands and took a small sip before setting it back down. "I don't know," he whispered. "Er - I mean it wasn't always like this," he amended before realizing what he just admitted again.

Severus watched as Harry's eyes fell shut slowly as if internally cringing at his own words. He did know exactly what Harry meant by those words. So it had always happened but this past summer, or past few summers had been far worse. To his amazement, Harry started speaking again before Severus had to.

"It was worse when I started doing accidental magic, but I didn't know that's what it was at the time," Harry said.

He spoke in a strangely calm and composed voice Severus had heard him use to fool Black the other night after his vision.

"And then the years since starting Hogwarts have been even worse?" Severus asked Harry even though he already knew the answer.

"I guess," Harry replied.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Severus asked and realized the error in his wording within a second. Harry's eyes flashed up to Snape's with a look of pure betrayal written across them.

His heart was pounding ferociously in his chest and he was trying frantically to stop the burning sensation in his eyes. He would not let the man humiliate him that much. "Right, because it's my fault," Harry ground out through clenched teeth while he pushed his chair away from the table and made to leave the room.

He couldn't believe how foolish he had been. Of course the professor would blame him in the end. His uncle always reminded Harry that he deserved everything. Why would anything be different now?

"Harry," Snape called desperately, grabbing the boy's wrist before he made it to the door. "You misunderstood me."

Harry violently ripped his arm from Snape's grip. "Why didn't I say anything?" he snarled Snape's words back at the man. "No I understood you perfectly," he finished before storming out of the kitchen.

Severus was immediately on Harry's heels, trying to stop him before he reached the stairs in the foyer. "No, Harry. Let me explain," he tried again, spinning the child around to face him.

Harry stumbled backwards towards the stairs, but made his best attempt at bravery, trying to keep his voice as controlled as possible. "You don't have to explain. I get it. I should have tried to stop him or I should have told someone, right? Maybe it would have stopped if I had just told someone. I get what you're saying."

Severus had a firmer grip on Harry's wrist than he would have liked to use, but he needed to make Harry understand this. "I worded that question entirely wrong. I merely wanted to know if you had told anyone through the years. I was not saying it was your fault. IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT," Snape said firmly.

Harry lost the last bit of control he had left. "IT WASN'T MY FAULT?" Harry screamed questioningly while trying to wrench his wrist free from Snape again and collapsing onto the stairs behind him, almost bringing the professor down with him. "OF COURSE I TOLD PEOPLE! UNTIL I LEARNED WHAT A TERRIBLE IDEA THAT WAS! AND DO YOU HONESTLY THINK THE HEADMASTER DIDN'T KNOW? MY HOGWART'S LETTER WAS ADDRESSED TO THE CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS!" Harry continued to scream until he had to gasp for air. "No one did anything. No one ever did anything! No one did anything because I deserved it," Harry finished in a terrible whisper that echoed through the open foyer as viciously as the screaming had.

"No, Harry!" Severus said immediately as he finally let go of Harry's wrist, allowing the boy to hug his knees up to his chest. His heart ached as he watched Harry perch precariously on the third step, tears streaking down his face. While Severus continued to process everything the boy had just said, he dropped to his knees in front of Harry so that they were at eye level before reaching out and grasping Harry's chin.

Harry flinched at the touch and tried to pull away but Snape wouldn't allow it. He opted to scrunch his eyes shut, hoping the man and this entire situation might just disappear like a bad dream, but Harry knew all too well that his bad dreams never just disappeared.

"Harry, you certainly didn't deserve it," Snape said softly. "Harry, look at me."

Harry refused to open his eyes and shook his head trying to rid it of Snape's voice, but the man refused to let go of his chin and continued repeating his name.

"No one did anything," Harry said, as if to counter Snape's claim that he didn't deserve it. "Why didn't someone stop it if I didn't deserve it?" he said, finally voicing aloud one of his most intimate fears.

He still couldn't get Harry to look at him but Severus knew he had to answer the child and pray that he would at least listen. "Harry, you didn't deserve any of it. We failed you. That is the only answer I can give you. I can only admit that the adults in your life failed you. Someone should have stopped him. Someone should have protected you. Whoever you told or knew during your primary school years should have done something. And all of us at Hogwarts failed you; the headmaster, all of your professors, your head of house, and most importantly – me. We should have realized. We failed you and I'm sorry," Snape said noting that Harry's breathing was becoming even shallower.

"Th - then why," Harry breathed out. "If I didn't deserve it, then… why? Why does he hurt me? Why do they hate me so much? Why can't…" Harry trailed off, not finishing his last thoughts, Why can't someone just take care of me? aloud.

The tears continued to cascade down Harry's face, pooling at Snape's fingers before falling over them as well.

Harry certainly wasn't going to be dissuaded from this idea easily, Severus noted. The child probably spent his entire life coming up with justifications for the treatment he endured. Severus couldn't expect to reverse those beliefs with one conversation. And Harry's use of the present tense pained Severus even further. Harry was still very much living this abuse.

"I don't know Harry. But I do know that you did not deserve any of it. You were an innocent child that deserved to be loved and cared for," Snape said. "None of it was your fault. It took me a long time to realize that for myself and eventually you will too."

"No," Harry argued while shaking his head as much as Snape's hand would allow, not even realizing what the professor had just admitted to him. "They didn't ask for me. It wasn't fair that they got stuck with me. I was just a burden-"

"No," Snape argued right back, cutting Harry off in midsentence. "Do not EVER justify their behavior! They agreed to take care of you and did not. It is as simple as that. Their treatment of you was horrendous and unacceptable."

Harry didn't say anything and continued to keep his eyes closed while he inhaled and exhaled noisy, shallow breaths.

"And I'm stopping it now. Do you understand?" Severus asked while he swiped his thumb across Harry's cheek before deciding he should retract his hand.

Surprisingly, Harry latched on to the sleeve of his robe before his hand had gotten very far and the child finally opened his eyes. It was like the scene in the study a few nights ago all over again. Severus found that he could not deny those emerald orbs of anything they wanted or needed. And right now it was clear to Severus what Harry was silently asking, but he would never come out and make the request. No, if Harry were to get what he so desperately needed right now, Severus would have to give it willingly, without being asked.

Before he could think of the repercussions of his actions, Severus had slid onto the step next to Harry and roughly pulled the child to his chest. He had no idea how to actually offer comfort, having not done so in a long time, but Harry clung to his robe as if his life depended on the contact. Severus wrapped his other arm around Harry's shoulder trying to calm the trembling boy.

"It was not your fault," he repeated involuntarily. His hand snaked up to the back of Harry's head of its own accord and secured the boy to Severus' chest even more firmly as his fingers entwined in Harry's messy hair.

The two wizards sat like that for a long time with Snape whispering the same soothing words over and over again while Harry silently cried his heart out against the man's chest.

Harry found the heart beat pulsing in his ear to be extremely calming and slowly his sobs subsided. He was still utterly amazed at his professor's actions and even more surprised Snape had yet to push him away. Somehow the contact made Snape's words seem more real… more believable… and he hated the idea of that ending. It was as if the minute he was sent away to bed, alone, the whole thing would dissolve into a dream and he would never be able to get this feeling of security to return.

Severus stared down at the messy mop of black hair leaning against his chest. Somewhere along the way that attribute had changed from an annoying one to an endearing one. The boy had long since stilled but Severus knew the child was not asleep. He had allowed the prolonged contact for two reasons. One, it was not as unpleasant as Severus had expected. It felt oddly satisfying to know he was needed. And two, Severus had yet to figure out what would be best for Harry after this awkward moment.

He knew the boy must be exhausted after the emotional turmoil of the day but Severus also had a feeling Harry didn't want to be alone right now. That was actually quite obvious by the way Harry was clinging to his robes and had yet to make any attempt to extricate himself from this strange position. A part of Severus didn't really want to let go of Harry either or at least didn't want to let the child out of his sight.

Relinquishing his tight grip on the boy, Severus slowly moved his hands away from Harry's head and shoulder but left one firmly planted on Harry's arm.

"Come along," he said softly as he stood from the stairs and pulled Harry up with him.

Instantaneously, Harry tried to pull away from Snape and swiped at his face with the back of his hand.

Severus released Harry's arm and moved his hand to the child's back applying light pressure to direct him forward around the stairs.

"As we have both acted sufficiently out of character, there is no reason to be afraid of showing your emotions in front of me any longer," he said softly.

A shiver was emanating out of Harry's chest but he wasn't cold. A part of him wished they could go back to the silent embrace and just never speak about how out of character it was because Harry was pretty certain he would never get that opportunity again. But then Snape's last statement implied that maybe he could continue to seek comfort from him from now on. Harry couldn't see how that would work but there were more pressing matters for him to consider at the moment.

Where was Snape taking him?

He wished he had the courage to ask but Harry found that he had no voice. He was certain Snape would send him off to bed and say he was acting ridiculous, but instead they were heading into the study. Did Snape want to talk more? Harry didn't think he could handle that at the moment, even if he had just admitted so much to the man. The memory from Occlumency had just been too vivid and infiltrated its way into his dreams, making it ten times worse. He didn't think he could focus on any more horrible memories this evening.

The warm hand on his back guided him over to the couch and pushed him to sit down. Harry just stared awkwardly up at Snape through his fringe of messy hair. The shivers had gotten so bad he thought for sure that Snape could see them racking through his body in intermittent waves and his head was pounding fiercely, making him wish he could lie down for a moment.

"You need to get some sleep," Snape said in confirmation of Harry's thoughts as he reached to the end of the couch and grabbed the blanket Harry had used before. Holding the end, it unfurled to its full length, hanging in front of him. "Harry, come on," Snape encouraged, gesturing with one hand for Harry to pick his feet up and lay down.

Harry stared at Snape with an extremely insecure expression.

"I have some work to do and will be right over there," Snape said while indicating his desk.

Harry followed the professor's gaze before realizing what Snape was saying. He had no idea why he needed such reassurances at the moment, but he was just thankful that Snape was volunteering them without question.

"You need some sleep," Snape repeated while again gesturing for Harry to lie down.

This time Harry methodically obeyed, pulling his feet up onto the couch and curling into a tight ball on his side. He reached out to grab for the blanket, but Snape swung it up so that it billowed out before falling gently over Harry's entire body. Harry clutched the one end and coiled it up in his hands, pulling it in under his chin.

Severus had been watching Harry stare straight ahead for a few minutes, so as he let the blanket down he let his hand fall gently onto the boy's shoulder while the other pulled Harry's glasses off. Severus knew it was an extremely gentle and comforting gesture for someone like him but he needed to find a way to convince Harry to close his eyes besides just sheer exhaustion catching up with him.

Apparently the gesture worked because Harry's eyes fell shut instantaneously and Severus gave a reassuring squeeze. "I will be right here," he whispered as he placed Harry's glasses on the coffee table and finally moved away to his desk.

At the loss of contact Harry blinked once before allowing the pain in his body to overrule his common sense and closed his eyes to actually sleep. He could think about Snape's strange behavior at another time and for now, he would take advantage of what the man was offering.

-SS-

Sliding into the seat behind his desk, Severus grabbed a piece of parchment and quill, just to humor Harry in case he was still awake. It was obvious to both of them why Severus was staying though. Actually Severus doubted that last thought. It was obvious Harry thought he knew why his professor was staying, but Severus doubted it was the right reason.

Severus let out a silent sigh. What he really wanted at the moment was a stiff drink but thought better of that idea while having Harry sleeping in the same room. Merlin only knew if Harry's blasted uncle had been a drinker. No, Severus would make sure he never associated himself with those types of memories in the boy's mind.

With a wave of his wand his tea cup from the kitchen appeared on his desk and he quickly cast a warming charm on it. Maybe he could slip a calming draught in it just to settle his own nerves. Severus immediately cringed at that thought and stood up abruptly. He had completely neglected to offer any such thing to Harry. No, it shouldn't have even been an offer. He should have forced Harry to consume one or a pain reliever at the very least. After this tumultuous evening, the boy would no doubt have a headache.

Grabbing a couple vials from the cabinet behind the desk, Severus made his way back to the couch. He doubted very much that Harry would be asleep yet but as he approached, the boy's breathing sounded even and smooth. It was a far cry from the shallow gasps he had been taking earlier, nearly hyperventilating.

Severus couldn't believe how small and innocent Harry looked while asleep. And the boy had been robbed of his childhood. It was a stark contrast. His heart ached for Lily and what she would think and feel if she knew her son had been treated in such disregard.

Severus had no idea how to proceed with this situation. His logical side was telling him Harry had Sirius and did not need him. He should not get used to the idea of Harry depending on him, no matter how much he enjoyed the feeling of being needed by this boy. But everything else was screaming at Severus to take care of this child even if it was only temporary.

-SS-

TBC…

Enjoy :) -Mara