Disclaimer:All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
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Author's Note: I am so incredibly sorry for the span of time between the last update and this. My muse decided to leave without notice, then once it returned I had to seriously rethink some of the plot details. Anyway, here it is. Thank you for reading & sticking with me! Sorry if this is a bit bumpy, but I'm a little bit rusty!
"Happy Birthday!" I yelled at the built-in webcam on my laptop.
Jake's usually tanned cheeks were a bit more crimson than usual. Turning his head to the side, he tried not to smile, but his pearly white teeth were the brightest things in his dimly lit dorm room. The only light was a dim desk lamp that illuminated his face. As he turned back toward the screen, I noticed his ears were blood red.
"Thanks," he replied and laughed coyly.
In spite of my fears, Jake had been right. The internet became a lifeline between us. Usually we just instant messaged, but since it was Jake's birthday, we video chatted on Skype. I was more than elated to celebrate his actual date of birth and not some replacement date.
"Any big plans?"
"Not tonight. Probably something this weekend." Jacob sounded not as excited as I expected.
I wished I could be celebrating with him, but I couldn't. Not this year, at least. To take the attention off of the sadness I felt building in my heart, I changed the subject.
"How are classes going?"
"They're okay, but this history professor is busting my balls." Jacob groaned in annoyance. "It's like he thinks I'm stupid because I'm a football player or something." The corners of his lips dropped into a frown. Disgust covered his face as he reiterated the fact that he wasn't as dumb as most people perceived him to be. "I'm not dumb, Bells."
"I know you're not, and you're going to have to prove your professor wrong. I know you can." I tried to infuse the confidence I was used to seeing back into him.
"This shit's hard though, and he gives us so much work like we don't have other classes." It wasn't like Jake to complain about school work. Sure, he was a jock, but he was smart. He wasn't used being stereotyped, except by me, but I only did it in a joking fashion. "Enough of my whining." That perfect smile of his flashed brightly onto my screen again. "How are your classes?"
"Boring."
"Yeah?" Jake leaned back in his desk chair and placed his hands behind his head. "None of them are hard?"
Just as Jacob reached his arms up behind his head his shirt came up enough for me to see the little line of hair below his belly button. My eyes traveled down until the trail all but disappeared under the waistband of his black shorts. I blinked my eyes quickly, which seemingly took my attention away from his waistband. Hopefully he hadn't caught me staring – not that it would have been an awkward moment. It wasn't that. It was the idea of being caught staring at my best friend's "happy trail".
"No, not really. My biology class is pretty interesting though, but you know…" I laughed and forced my eyes away from the screen. The lines of my knuckles seemingly became the most interesting thing I had seen all evening. "I actually like biology. The professors all seem pretty cool too." My cheeks burned. Lifting one of my hands up, I touched the side of my face to try to cool myself back down.
"What biology are you taking? I have a bio class this semester too."
"Uhm. One seventeen, I think."
Once the embarrassment passed, I looked up just in enough time to see Jake lean forward in his chair again. This time he rested his arms on the desk. "Why is your face so red?"
"Oh, um," I flustered. "You know, just thoughts."
Suddenly I was parched, so I took a drink of water from the bottle sitting on my desk. Apparently, a hole had seemed to form in my chin and so a large drop of water rolled down my chin, dripping onto my white t-shirt. Jake followed the trail until it absorbed into the cotton. The wet spot it left was just above my right nipple. It was at that time that I realized I had already taken my bra off for the evening.
Jacob fixated on the wet circle just above my nipple. He licked his full, plump lips over just before a small airy laugh came through my speakers. As though Jake were trying to hide the smirk on his face, he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth; however, the grin escaped his bite, causing his teeth to drag along his bottom lip.
I couldn't deny the fact that I was turned on. I missed him. My body ached for him, and watching him become entranced with a small wet circle on my nipple only encouraged me more. So, I made a rather bold move. I reached my hand up to my breast and rubbed my thumb across my nipple instantly hardening it.
Greeting my ears right after was a loud, aggressive groan. Jake's forceful groan brought out a side of me that I had buried far in the back. Looking down to my hand on my breast, I pinched at my nipple with my thumb and forefinger. I didn't know what I was doing, but what I did know was that I liked it. Apparently, so did Jake.
"Bells," compellingly came out of his mouth.
I glanced up to see him resting back in his chair again. The happy trail that had captivated me earlier was still visible, but blocking most of the view was Jake's need for me. The site of him wanting me so badly only made my insides melt. Jacob lifted his hand and ran it down the length of himself. Immediately, I felt flushed, wet, and hot. My hands had a mind of their own. One dove down between my legs while the other stayed on the breast where the drop of water had landed. All the while, I intently watched Jake.
His hand dove under his black basketball shorts, but I could still see the up and down movements. Occasionally he would stop and lean closer to the screen. His eyes were black and full of lust.
"You're so sexy." He grunted. The muscles of his right arm flexed and relaxed as he stroked himself. "I want you so bad."
"Yeah?" I moaned. The heat building in my room made my skin sticky with sweat. Meticulously, I rubbed myself, imagining that it was Jake's tongue. "Oh. Jake."
"Does that feel good, baby?" Jacob whispered. The veins in his bicep were completely visible and nearly pulsated with seduction.
"Mmmhmm." I whimpered. My panties were soaked completely through. "I wish you were here."
"Me too." Jacob leaned back. His stare fell to the protrusion in his shorts.
While his right hand worked up and down, Jake brought his left hand to the waistband of his shorts. Looping his thumb there, he gradually dragged them down. His happy trail became gradually more visible. The muscular "V" of his hips increasingly narrowed. Jake continued to drive his shorts down lower until I could see the knuckle of his bent right thumb. Looking up at me through the webcam, Jake smirked slightly, and without hesitation, freed himself from the confines of his shorts. That seemed to be all the encouragement I needed to work myself until everything became blurry, and the world seemed to spin on its axis. My muscles contracted in on themselves; Jake's name fumbled off of my lips. Euphoria soared through my veins.
I was still shaking my chair as Jacob continued to stroke himself harder, faster, and more erratic. His jaw fell slack as he breathed out an almost silent moan. He drew in a sharp breath and closed his eyes.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
"Bella?" Marybelle called.
Slamming my laptop shot, I jerked my hand from my pants, grabbed a textbook next to me, and opened it quickly.
"Yeah." I answered as normally as I possibly could. I tried to concentrate on my textbook as though I was studying, but the muscles in my legs still twitched.
The squeaky hinges of my bedroom door doubled my anxiety. What if she knew what I had just done? Was there any way to tell? Did it smell like sex in here? I huffed in a nose full of air, but smelled nothing. Quickly, I ran my fingers through my hair, finding it to be matted and sweaty at the roots. Hopefully, I didn't look like I had just… done that. My cheeks still felt hot. I could still feel the flush burning on my neck. I prayed that Marybelle had no idea of what happened.
"You're going to the pharmacy tomorrow right?" she asked with a very throaty voice.
"Yeah. I have to pick up my birth control." I answered and spun around in my chair. Marybelle was a sight to be seen. Her nose was red and looked a bit chapped. Her eyes were glossy, and her skin was paler than usual. "Are you okay?"
"No." She brought a tissue up to her nose and wiped. "I have an upper respiratory infection. Do you think you can pick up my prescription tomorrow too?"
My cell phone vibrated on the nightstand. Marybelle looked over at it and then back to me. I shrugged my shoulders, but inside I was dieing to see what Jake had said. I was just too scared that the crotch of my pajama pants was wet too, so I refused to move.
"You gonna get that?" Marybelle coughed.
"No. I'm studying. It's probably just Jake anyway. I'll talk to him later." I lied.
"Oh, well, okay. Remember to pick up my antibiotics tomorrow. They shouldn't need me there since it's not a narcotic." With that said Marybelle shut my bedroom door.
Hurriedly, I jumped from my chair, grabbing my cell phone from the night stand. Sitting back down, I opened my laptop back up to see the video call between Jake and I had been dropped. My heart sank a little. I didn't want him to think that I freaked out or flaked on him. That idea rattled around in my brain as I checked my missed calls list. And indeed, Jake had been the one who called. Not that I expected anyone else.
Sorry! Marybelle.
I texted Jake as quickly as I could. I was sure that he was waiting by his phone or maybe divulging in some internet porn. Either way, I knew he'd answer his text message. The phone vibrated in my hands not too long after the message was sent. Looking at the caller ID first, I answered it as Jake's name blinked.
"Hello." I sunk into my chair and stared at the random objects on my desk.
"Hey." Jake spoke in a raspy, seductive voice. "I thought you backed out on me."
"No!" I exclaimed. "Didn't you hear Marybelle knocking?"
"Nah. I was…" His words stopped, and his breaths picked up. "Preocuppied."
"That could have been so bad." I whined. "But I liked it."
Jacob's laugh was deep and warm. "Me too."
Curiosity got the best of me. I had been so involved in my own pleasure that I had all but forgotten about him. "Did you… finish?"
"Oh yeah." Jake's voice whispered. "There was no turning back."
"I wish I could have helped." My tone matched his deep, throaty whispers.
"You did. I couldn't get you out of my head. I wish I was there. I'd show you exactly what I wanted to do to you." As he spoke, Jake's voice turned hard, needy, and full. I could feel the erotic moment beginning to bloom.
At first I wasn't sure why I had suddenly become so bold. It seemed so out of character for me. However, the more Jake accepted me, my advances, and my sexual appetite, the bolder I became. Having phone sex, webcam sex, and late night dirty instant messages woke up the sexual beast inside of me. Suddenly, I had confidence and strength. I saw myself in a different light, and I liked what I saw. Not that my self esteem before all of this happened was incredibly low; it wasn't. I didn't know who I was, what I wanted, or even what I liked.
I took on more responsibilities at work. I hung out with Angela in Seattle more often, and I visited Elaina less. My need to rely on her dwindled to nearly nothing, but I still needed to know that Elaina was there, willing to listen to my stories. While my visits to Elaina became less frequent, the amount of time I spent with her increased. Conversation was thick as I had more to tell her, more to dive into.
Summer was approaching, and I knew that Elaina would swim away to colder waters during those months. I worried about her. She would be alone in the great Pacific Ocean for months on end. What would she do to occupy her time? Where would she go? Would she try to meet other whales and form a make-shift family?
"Hi Elaina." I smiled and bent over sticking my hand into the early March water. Elaina lifted her flipper up enough until it met my fingers. I gripped onto it and shook. Elaina's flipper pulled away, and she dove under the dark waters. About ten foot away, she lifted her back fin out of the water and smacked it back down letting me know that she was ready to talk.
"What do you wanna talk about today?"
Elaina let out a deep hum.
"Jake's good. I just talked to him before I got here."
A spray of water came out of Elaina's mouth and hit my hands. I smiled, which wasn't like who I used to be. Usually, I would blush, because someone besides Jake and me knew what was going on between us, but not anymore. Elaina knew everything, and I liked being able to talk about it with her.
I rubbed the cold water off of my hands with the sleeves of my jacket. "It was amazing…as always."
Elaina hummed in her whale voice again. I imagined it was a way of expressing her disappointment in not meeting him yet. I hadn't even mentioned Elaina to Jake. We rarely just talked about daily life. When we did, it was something quick, something lame, or something sexual.
"No. I haven't told him about you, yet." I stated. "We don't talk as much as you think we would."
Elaina stared up at me through the water. Disappointment and sadness filled her almost human eye.
"I know, I know. Jake and I should talk. We should have conversations. We're supposed to be best friends, but right now… all we do is miss each other and have whatever kind of sex we can at the moment. Sometimes," I sighed, "all the sex makes me miss him even more."
Putting her head above the water, Elaina seemed to stare at me with a parent's eye. Her mouth opened and a high squeak came out.
"It's not that I don't like what we're doing. It's just that I almost wish that things were back to the way they used to be, ya know? I miss my Jake, the one who knew that I hated mashed potatoes and gravy together, or that my books have to be in alphabetical order. I'm sure he knows all of that still, but he's slipping away from me. I can feel it." My words were separated with sighs of distress. "We're not friends. We just fuck."
Sadness flowed through me like water through a pipe. My veins being the pipe, and my blood being the water. Jake and I were closer than we ever had been. I could be open with him about anything, but I wasn't. Same with him, he could tell me everything that happened to him, but he chose not to.
The situation was such a catch twenty-two. On one hand, I didn't want to give up the physical comfort. On the other, I didn't want to be so emotionally apart. He usually had no idea what exactly was happening in my life, and I usually had no idea about his. How had we gotten there?
I needed to sort it out and not just in my head. If I stayed in my head for too long, then I would over think, overstep, or overindulge. Ang was my usual go-to person. Weekly Angela and I met up in Seattle for coffee and whatever else we decided to do. Usually, it was shopping at the local bookstore or hitting up a few of the boutiques. This day, however, I had a feeling that Angela wanted to do nothing more than sit inside the coffee shop and talk.
"God, Bells! You are so lucky." Angela jealously spoke. "I'm like an old used up garden. No one wants to plant seeds here anymore."
I bit back a laugh. "Aw. Ang. I'm sorry. Things going downhill with Erick?"
"No. Nothing's moving at all. Completely stagnant." She sighed and took a sip of her coffee. Suddenly, she leaned forward and whispered, "And when I say nothing is moving. I mean nothing!"
"Really? Nothing?" I cocked my eyebrow at her, completely taken back by what she said.
Angela nodded and dropped her head to her hands. "We've been together for almost a year now. Everything's been fine. You know! I always tell you about it. But suddenly… it just stopped."
"Is he gay?" I blurted out without thinking.
"I don't know! I thought the same thing!"
"Well, what does he say?" I lifted my coffee to my lips to prevent another outburst of thought.
"It's just stress. But, I don't know, Bells." Angela turned toward the window of the coffee shop and watched the rain slide down the glass. A sad expression pooled on her face, and she sullenly turned to me. "Am I really that unattractive?"
"No! Do not think that. You're beautiful. You're sexy. It's Erick who is missing out. Do not let him get you down."
Angela's head bobbed in agreement, but I knew she wasn't really absorbing what I said. It hurt to see someone with so much potential and beauty not understand who she really was. That was when a wave of déjà vu hit me. It hadn't been too long ago when Angela had been there for me in this way. She tried her hardest to make me understand that I was more than what I thought.
"Maybe you just need time for yourself. Remember what you told me way back when? Don't let someone else define who you are. You decide that." As I talked, I reached across the table and placed my hand on her arm, demonstrating that I was there for her just like she had been there for me.
Angela stared down at the contact between us. "Thanks." She smiled a lopsided smile with a laugh. "My how the tables have turned!"
Before Angela left, we made rock solid plans for the following week and tentative plans for the summer. What I didn't know then was that summer would set my future in stone.
Maybe everything happened the way it did, because I let fate slip through my fingers. I declined my chance to talk, to resolve the issues inside my head, to better a friend. I was selfless, and that selfless act triggered about a thousand more. However, there would be times in my future when my heart would turn selfish. Those times were few and far between. And there wasn't one thing I would change.
Jake had been in Orlando for months. Our conversations were rare. Sex was an always. And I couldn't help myself to the deliciously sexy nature of my "best friend", if that's what you could call him.
Things had changed between us. Change, I normally saw as a good thing, but not this change. The connection we once had was distant and blurry. Something deep inside of me ached to be found, to be aroused once again. That something came in clearer when I actually talked to Jacob. There had to be something more. I could feel it. I could see it. I could taste it. And I was willing to hold onto the reigns and ride through the storm. First, though, I had to let him know how I felt. I had to express my need for our friendship again.
My decision was an odd decision, even for me. All this time I spent lusting and loving my best friend, and the time had come when I was tired of it being that way. For the life of me, I could not understand what exactly it was I wanted with Jake. I craved him completely. He was like that family heirloom that is always in your life, but you were never completely satisfied with where you put it.
When Jake and I were just friends, I wanted more. Now that I had him physically, I wanted him mentally. I wanted the old feel of him. I wanted to feel the connection within our souls again. There seemed only one way to fix it. I had to choose which was more important – sex or soul. Obviously, for me, Jake's soul was far more important. However, when Jake came home for Spring Break, temptation had the best of me. My body and mind fought. My heart had become the only loser.
The day he flew home I had pulled a double at the aquarium. We had gotten in a few new fish and fossils to put on display. So, work was a welcomed distraction as it kept me from watching the clock nonstop until he arrived. Our schedules had seemingly worked out perfectly. Just as I had gotten home and started up the stairs, Jake walked in.
"Hey Bells." Jake's voice was rough, lustful as he approached me from behind.
"Jake." I acknowledged him, but tried to keep my cool. Inside, I was exploding with excitement, lust, and need.
"Where's Charlie and Marybelle?"
"Away. On a trip." I replied, my train of thought completely interrupted by Jacob's next move.
Jacob snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me backward until my back hit his chest. His breath was fast and hot on my neck.
"Somewhere." I whimpered.
I tried to turn a bit to see his face. It seemed like it had been so long since I had witnessed his beauty. The countless amounts of Skype sessions really held no candle to his perfectly sculpted features in person. My heart was sputtering in my chest, and my groin was throbbing already.
I only caught a glimpse of him from the corner of my eye as his opposite hand grasped my chin and turned it away. But, from what I did see, he had grown far more handsome. Whatever boyish features he had before were now those of a man. His hair was longer, shaggier, thicker. I swallowed thickly and sighed. His soft lips gently kissed the side of my neck.
"You smell good." Jacob groaned into my neck. His fingertips caressed under my chin. "I missed the way you smell." His tongue slipped out and drew a swirling line to my jaw.
I couldn't comprehend what was happening, but I could feel it. Every last molecule in my body was exploding. My skin was hot and sweaty. My heart beat rapidly in my chest. My brain filled full of a hazy fog that I would never find my way out of.
Before my brain could catch up with the outside world, Jake was sitting on the steps with me on his lap. I was screaming out in ecstasy. His name fell from my lips with every breath. Jake's stare was locked on my face as it contorted and scrunched with every bump and grind of his hips to mine.
Needing more leverage, Jake reached out and held onto the stair banister. Holding on tight, he began lifting himself and roughly plunging inside of me until I was screaming into his neck. Ecstasy poured from Jake's lips as infallible moans and growls. His own world shattering orgasm not too far behind mine.
Our friendship or relationship, whatever you wanted to call it, mirrored his return for the first few days of Jake's Spring Break. We didn't talk. We didn't laugh. We made up for lost time with nothing more than sex. And while that sex was great, I was too far in over my head, too worried that I was losing him completely. The only solution would be to restrict what we had to friendship and only friendship. It would be easy, after all, he lived thousands of miles away. And so, three days into his trip home, I had him meet me on First Beach with every intention of breaking it off.
First Beach and any beach in La Push, really, had become so familiar to me what with all the work I did with my boss, Alex. The sand and salt were safe havens for me; I felt comfortable there. Sex would be out of the question as of the ample amounts of people who usually showed up unannounced. It was the perfect place for such an intimate talk.
The warm temperature but chilly wind had me dressed in shorts and a sweater. As I made my way down the beach, Jake's ever familiar figure stood midway to the water and the parking area. He stared out over the ocean. He, too, was dressed in a pair of shorts and a long sleeved shirt. I smirked at the likeness of our attire and continued toward him. With every inch I came closer, the more my heart and my soul started to battle it out; however, I knew what I wanted with Jake. Sex, like this, was not it. I missed his soul.
"Hey." I announced my presence when I was within a few feet of him. My feet kept me moving as he turned around with a bright smile. The new shagginess of hair had pieces of it moving in the wind. It made me miss the way his long hair used to blow behind him or how he would always pull it back to the base of his neck when the wind became too much.
"Hey." That smile of his was sparkling in the cloud covered sunlight. Jake stepped forward a few steps until he was just a few inches away. Reaching out, Jake looped his arm around my waist and pulled me toward him slowly. His eyes fixated on my lips, and I knew he was going to kiss me, which was a different gesture. I didn't think anything of it, but I didn't pull away either. I wasn't used to this side of Jacob – the side where he pulled me in for kisses on the beach, the side where he smiled so brightly that it made my toes tingle, or the side that had him softly rubbing his thumb in circles over the small of my back. If I didn't know any better, then I would have thought this was more for him. I knew better. I knew Jacob.
No matter what went on in my head, I leaned into his kiss, my hand cupping the side of his neck. Our lips worked softly against the others. Small zaps of electricity made my lips tingle, and my head buzz. Before I was too far in, I placed my palm against his chest. The beat of his heart pounded against my hand as I gently pushed him away. With one soft kiss left on my lips, Jacob tilted his head until his forehead met mine.
Eskimo kisses clouded my judgment, filling my brain with a fog so dense that I couldn't see past the set of onyx eyes staring down at me. The wind picked up cocooning us with warmth and harmony. Everything that I had wished to say to him disappeared. My own wants, my own needs were mere specks in the great scheme of things. The moments of our past determined our destiny, and trying to live those days over again would like trying to go back in time. What I once had with Jacob was gone, but there was something about the wind and the way it engulfed us as though it were a mother's loving embrace that yanked every thought from my brain and took it away. The only thought left in my brain was to share with Jacob one thing I had never shared before, Elaina.
"I want to show you something." I said, my voice steady and strong.
"Okay." Jake smirked, the corners of his mouth tilting in a way that made my stomach turn into knots.
Without a spoken word, I lead Jake to the jagged rocks where I usually found Elaina. His willingness to follow me, to see whatever it was that I had to show him, littered my heart with skipped beats. Maybe what I needed to do was show him my life instead of assuming he didn't want anything to do with it. Maybe Jake didn't know any better. Maybe being physical with someone was the only way he knew how to show his feelings.
"Follow my path." I stepped onto the large rocks methodically, my every move preplanned. "It's not the easiest path. These rocks can be slippery and sharp, but if you look at it once we get to the end, you'll see that it was the only true way to get here."
Jake kept silent. His attention focused on the intricate steps he had to take to make it to the end, but he survived with only a few scrapes and possible bruises. Once we were at the end of the rock jut, Jake spoke up. "What's out here?"
Just as he asked, a spray of water in a gasp of air brought a smile to my face. "That." I pointed toward the hundreds of tiny water drops falling from Elaina's exhale. Sticking my hand into the water, I shook it back and forth a few times to signal that I was there. Elaina flapped her tail against the cold, black water, and then disappeared for a few minutes as she swam to the rocks. As she approached, Elaina came closer to the surface of the water, her form visible from where we were standing.
"Hi Elaina." I bent down just as her nose surfaced the water again.
Jacob knelt next to me, watching as I petted Elaina's exposed nose and laughing when she sprayed water from her mouth. "Bells, that's a whale!" His statement was blatant and full of awe. His words preceded his thoughts.
"Elaina, this is Jake." I smiled down at her. Peace filled my heart as I looked to Jake to find the awestruck expression upon his face. "Jake, this is my friend, Elaina."
"Bells…" Unsure of what he should do, Jacob turned to me. So many questions filled his eyes, but mostly what I noticed was the stun on his face. "How? I mean… what?"
"You can talk to her. She talks back. Isn't that right, Elaina?"
Elaina called out into the air and smacked a flipper in the water. Her head and human-like eyes diverted to Jake's kneeling position, and a puff of air blew from her blow hole.
"Elaina and I became friends a while ago." Reaching down to Elaina's flipper, I pulled it to the surface of the water. The scars from the poachers who took her family appeared as white lines against her dark, rubber like skin. "Poachers killed her family, but she got away. Alex and I found her when she was pretty bad off, and we've nursed her back to life. But, Elaina wasn't the only one who needed someone. I needed her too. She helped my scars heal too."
For a few hours, Jake listened to Elaina and I. His questions open ended and full of curiosity. The words he spoke were careful and methodically thought out. To say he was in awe of all that had happened, of all that he didn't know was quite an understatement.
That day, something changed between Jake and me. We pushed past the hurt and the disregard. Friendship blossomed. A dead relationship revived. Happiness and cheer consumed our souls until we could no longer see straight.
Jacob was my best friend again, and I his. Our interests intermingled. His attention peaked on my abilities to care for such a large sea animal and how natural I was with Elaina. Jacob pushed Marine Biology as far as he could, bringing it up every chance he had.
It had been almost a year to the day when Jake mentioned a program at University of Florida. I had only visited Florida a handful of times in the passing year. Mostly, my visits consisted of the stadium and whatever else Jake decided to drag me along to see. I loved Florida. The constant heat on my skin, the dryness, and the moisture constantly clouding the air – it all was so different from Forks, Washington. Could I say yes? Could I agree to transferring across the country because my best friend, my true love, my soul mate wanted me to?
I had to think it over. Something that substantial, that important could not be agreed upon without thought, without talking to an outsider about it. Angela was the first person on my mind.
"So, he just asked you to move down there?" Angela sipped on her coffee, her hands cradling the warmth of the cup.
Glancing up from my text book, I nodded. The excitement in my stomach was well hidden as I pretended to study the life processes of cells. A smile brewed in the muscles of my face, but I restricted their movement by clenching my teeth together.
"Bella! Stop pretending to study! This is important. What are you gonna say? I mean does this mean you're together? Are you together? I mean I know you guys have been hooking up for over a year now, but is this the step you want to take? What does it all mean?" Angela rambled with questions that I had been asking myself for weeks.
"I don't know the answers myself," I said solemnly. "I'm afraid to ask him. You know what happened before. He's my best friend. Is that reason enough to go? Sex isn't."
"Would you move upstate for me?" Angela leaned forward as her question was asked.
I thought it over for a moment, but the answer was already clear in the back of my mind. I had been willing to move to New York with Embry. As his name entered my mind, my heart stung. I still missed him. From time to time, I wondered where he was and how art school was doing. I hadn't heard from him since the day we broke up.
"Yes." I cleared my throat and shook my head. The memories of Embry thick in my mind clouded my brain until tears filmed over my eyes. "I would move upstate with you, if you want me to."
"Then you should move to Florida with Jake. He is your best friend."
"What if my credits won't transfer?" Trying to find any logical reason to stay was my only way of not caving in completely.
"You'll be at a university, Bells! Who cares? You're what…. almost twenty-one?"
I nodded.
"You're still young! Retake whatever doesn't transfer." Angela was far more excited about the situation than I had expected.
"Why are you so for this?" Cocking my eyebrow, I questioned her.
"This is what you want. This is what's good for you. This is your destiny."
One word, a single, solitary word voided the questions running rampant in my mind: destiny. Florida was my destiny; I could either take the bull by the metaphorical horns, or I could lay down and give up on life. Either way, I would end up in Florida.
"Florida, huh?" Relaxing the muscles of my face, my excitement was set free as a colorful smile upon my lips.
"Florida." Angela nodded, bringing her coffee cup to her smirking mouth.
A police cruiser swerving into the parking lot brought my attention to the window Angela and I had been seated by. Dad jumped from the driver's seat. Panic written across his face. His chest heaved as his breathing became labored. Dad saw me through the window and weaved a path directly to me, ignoring the greetings of the people he passed, which only brought a tightness to my chest. Something was wrong. Something bad had happened.
Worry creased covered Dad's forehead as he stopped at the table. "Bells." His face fell from worried to sadness.
"What, what is it, Dad?" I stood quickly.
"I just came from La Push."
My heart fell to my feet. The first person on my mind was Billy. "Is Billy okay?" I blurted.
"It's not Billy. It's… I shouldn't be telling you this, but I thought you'd like to know." Dad lifted his policeman's belt and sighed.
"What? Just tell me. What is it?" My brain soared through the names and faces of everyone I knew in La Push. A thousand different scenarios ran through my brain.
"I responded to a call from the Call residence." Dad rested his hands on my shoulders. "A reported suicide."