Chapter 21
With her eyes still closed she grunted. A noise had interrupted her lovely dream and had woken her up much to her chagrin. However, she kept her eyes shut, resisting the force urging her to open them. She grunted again as she heard the nasty noise again. She was still in a haze, not completely awake. The noises kept resounding in the silence of the room. Little by little she began to be aware of her surroundings. 'It sounds as if someone was retching,'Theresa thought with utter disgust identifying the noises that had woken her up. She opened her eyes suddenly and jumped out of the bed in no time.
"Louise!" Theresa called and became frantic as she realized that it was her sister who was violently sick.
Lou had woken up just a few moments ago, and as she finished dressing for the day she suddenly began feeling very sick. She had not even had time to leave the room as she was overcome by waves of nausea. She was really having it bad this time. In her other pregnancy she had hardly had any sickness but this time it seemed to be completely different. Last night she had barely had a few bites since she hadn't been very hungry and now she had emptied her stomach completely over the washbowl. She noticed Theresa's presence next to her.
"Louise!" the girl called her name again.
By this time the nausea had subsided and Lou managed to drag her weary body back to the bed. She dropped on the bed heavily and closed her eyes trying to regain some of her strength. Theresa followed her, with a worried expression on her face, and crouched by her side. "Louise, are you all right?"
Without opening her eyes Lou muttered with a very soft voice, "Just let me rest for a few moments." She still felt dizzy and weak. She just needed a few minutes to compose herself. She hadn't slept much last night and the day hadn't begun in the best way.
"Shall I tell one of the boys to go for the doctor?" Theresa asked, her voice tinged with worry.
On hearing her sister's words Lou quickly fumbled to sit up on the bed. "No!" she cried. She didn't need a doctor. She already knew what was causing this morning sickness. "I'm fine. It must be something I ate last night. It must have disagreed with my stomach."
"Are you sure?" the girl insisted. She remembered that Lou had hardly eaten two spoonfuls last night. That much couldn't have caused her to feel that sick.
"Of course, silly," Louise exclaimed. She got out of the bed and she noticed that she already felt much better. She was still feeling a bit shaky and weak, but the nausea had ceased. She just needed something to eat and she would have her strength back. "I'll clear the mess I've caused," Lou added, making a grimace. "And I'll make us a nice, big breakfast." Lou smiled as she left her sister's side.
Theresa kept looking after her, still worried. Lou didn't look all right at all. She was pale and had rings under her eyes. Theresa didn't remember Louise physically ill very often. She was the strongest woman the girl knew despite her petite appearance. The only time she could think of was when Louise had been pregnant and even then she hadn't had it bad. The thought surprised Theresa. Why was it that her sister's pregnancy had popped on her mind? She had hardly thought about it in the last few years as it brought about bad memories. Besides it was something nobody talked about in Louise's presence, but now the issue had come up on her mind twice in a row. "No, it can't be," Theresa said aloud. "You're just getting paranoid.
The lounge in Lou's house was filled with laughter. The girls had wanted to give Theresa her wedding presents in an intimate gathering. They had come together to have a nice lunch and share some laughs. It was an only-girls occasion. Theresa had welcomed the presence of her friends and family. They had brought the engaged couple such thoughtful presents and she felt she was the luckiest girl on earth for having such wonderful people who loved her. The four closest women to her were there, April, Emma, Rachel and of course Louise. Her friend Stacy and Isabel had left a bit earlier and decided to go on an expedition to town after lunch was over, but the rest of the women had stayed and were having a wonderful afternoon.
Rachel had cooked one of her delicious dishes for the occasion and right now they were sipping some coffee and about to eat the beautiful cake the blonde woman had baked. It looked scrumptious decorated with cream and wild berries. She was about to give Lou a piece when the girl said, "Not for me. Thank you, Rachel."
Rachel looked at her quizzically. "But it's your favorite!"
"I know," Lou said, "but I don't feel like it right now." She knew that she would die for a piece of Rachel's special cake any day, but now the look and the smell of the cream were turning her stomach. It seemed as if this pregnancy wasn't going to be very smooth.
Rachel stared at her with a surprised expression, but she didn't say anything further. Louise was behaving out of the ordinary more and more and she hadn't had the opportunity to talk to her younger friend because it was clear Louise was avoiding her.
The five women stayed in silence as they tasted big pieces of Rachel's delicious cake. Suddenly, there was a knock at the main door and Lou called out from her sitting position at the table, "Come in!"
The door opened slowly and Kid appeared hesitantly. Lou's face lit up as soon as she saw him. He tilted his head to the women. "Ladies," he said and they all greeted him warmly. All of them except Theresa who kept a long face. Kid turned to Lou, "Louise, the boys and I are going to Tompkins'. Do you need anything from town?" Kid looked at her in the eyes purposely.
"Uh … oh yes," Lou exclaimed clumsily. "I have a list in the kitchen. Come with me." She rose to her feet and headed for the kitchen with a very wide smile followed by Kid. As soon as they stepped in the room, Lou closed the door behind them and threw her arms around her husband. Kid kissed her hard and long, reveling in this moment that they both had longed for so much. Finally they pulled away breathlessly and Kid whispered, "Oh Lou, I've missed you so much."
"Oh me too," Lou said.
"This is driving me crazy," Kid admitted. It surprised him how much he needed her. She really woke feelings in him that the Southerner had never felt before, or at least didn't remember.
"Kid," Lou whispered, cautious about being heard by the ladies in the lounge, "it won't be long. My sister's wedding is tomorrow. We won't have to pretend any longer."
"Really, Lou?" He was tired of this hiding game and couldn't see the end of it.
Louise nodded and smiled mischievously. "But tonight… wait for me in the barn. I'll slip out when Theresa falls asleep." Kid smiled as she leaned over and planted a big kiss on his lips. Then she turned around and proceeded to leave the kitchen. Kid came after her to the lounge where the girls were chatting.
"Thank you, Kid," Lou said as she sat at the table next to her friends.
"My pleasure," Kid muttered politely. He was about to leave but noticing Theresa he addressed her. "Theresa, I wish you all kinds of happiness in your coming marriage," he said with a big smile.
The girl kept a serious face and barked visibly irritated, "Of course I'll be terribly happy. Joseph isn't a wife-abandoner as you are." She looked at Kid purposely, showing the irritation she felt.
"Theresa!" Lou scolded her sister energetically. She was completely shocked at her sister's words for Kid.
Hearing the girl's words Kid felt embarrassed and awkward. He excused himself and headed to the door. Lou rose to her feet and came to the door with him. She voiced a weak 'sorry' and smiled at him before she closed the door after him. She turned around and barged against her sister. "Theresa, you should be ashamed of yourself!"
"I don't know why I should," Theresa said, "I don't like him."
"That's not the way to talk to anybody," Lou insisted. She felt so terrible for the way her sister had treated Kid. He didn't deserve it.
"I can't smile at him as if everything's just fine," Theresa continued. Nothing Lou said was going to change her mind. She paused for a moment and then a thought crossed her mind. "He's not coming to my wedding, is he Louise?"
Lou let out an audible sigh and just said, "Theresa, he's family."
"But…," the girl was quick to protest but Lou didn't let her. "Look, Tessa, whatever happens or doesn't happen between Kid and me is just our concern, nobody else's. I know how to fight my own battles, all right?"
Theresa just nodded despite herself and kept quiet for a moment. She felt far from pleased. She couldn't pretend that she was fine with the situation because she wasn't. Kid hadn't treated her sister how she deserved. When Louise had come to her after Kid had turned up, Theresa had heard her sister cry herself to sleep every night because of him She couldn't easily forget the hurt that he had caused Louise. Theresa knew that her sister always tried to be strong to everybody's eyes, but the girl was aware that Louise was suffering because of that husband of hers.
Theresa would never have expected this from Kid. She remembered when he had really been part of her family. Back then she had thought that Louise couldn't have married anybody better than Kid. He had been so in love with her sister. Even though Theresa had been just a child in those days, she had noticed the looks and the gestures between them. You had to be a fool not to notice. Kid would have gone to the moon if Louise had asked him to. And for the first time Theresa had really felt she had a real family. She had been so proud and happy. Theresa had few memories of her mother and from when they had lived as a family. All she remembered was her life at the orphanage. Life there wasn't bad but it didn't feel like family.
When Louise and her husband had come and taken her and her brother, she couldn't have felt happier. Kid had been so good and patient with her and Jeremiah. She really had enjoyed her time with him. Kid used to listen to her harangues, help her with her school homework and just be there for anything she needed. Yet, one day he had gone and left Louise completely shattered. Theresa had seen how her sister had lived all those years of complete uncertainty. Louise got all frantic the day the deceased list arrived. She took the dreaded piece of paper in her trembling hands and when she double-checked that Kid's name wasn't among those on the list Louise let out her held breath. However, she never smiled, Theresa remembered. She kept a serious face as she knew that the process of continuous worry began till the next list. It was always the same. Theresa never saw Lou shedding a tear or uttering a complaining word. She just had that blank distant look that made her appear so different. Theresa had been a constant witness of all that and after that, she just couldn't act breezy with the present situation. It just wasn't fair.
Louise began picking up the plates from the table and Theresa couldn't keep quiet, "I really don't understand you, Louise. I don't know how you can stand this situation with him."
Lou decided not to say anything else. It was simply pointless to argue with her sister. Louise didn't like the way Theresa was talking about Kid, about her husband, but she could understand her posture. She silently took the plates to the kitchen and, as she reentered the lounge, she heard April talking.
"I know why she can," April said, a mischievous smile lighting her face.
"She can what?" Theresa asked, lost to the meaning behind April's words.
"Why she can manage this situation with Kid so well," April explained. She cast a shrewd look at Rachel and both women grinned knowingly.
Theresa arched her eyebrows quizzically. April's words had woken her interest suddenly.
Lou stood up with her arms folded and looked at April with an annoyed expression. "Oh come on, don't begin with that," Lou said.
April laughed merrily but stayed quiet. Theresa's curiosity got the better of her and she asked, "What are you talking about?" There was something she was missing here and she wanted to know.
"Yeah, what is it?" Emma added also curious about what April was saying.
"Don't," Louise tried to shush April but her attempts were in vain as Buck's wife had already made up her mind to talk.
April giggled mischievously and added, "There's a certain gentleman…" She cast a conspiratorial look at Rachel, who was smiling broadly amused.
"Really?" Theresa exclaimed, unable to hide her enthusiasm.
Lou sank down on a chair and said, "Please don't pay her any heed." She had to stop this nonsense. She was beginning to get tired of it.
"Oh come on, Lou," April continued. "Why don't you just admit that there's something going on between you and Captain Hoskins?"
"Oh God," Lou grunted and buried her face in her hands.
"An army officer!" Theresa exclaimed. She was smiling broadly.
"Really, Louise?" Emma sounded as elated as Theresa.
"Oh dear," Lou sighed. She didn't look amused at all by her friends' obvious enthusiasm. "This is just crazy."
"Oh Louise, why didn't you tell me?" Theresa asked. She felt so excited for her sister. It was high time Lou had some happiness.
Lou didn't say a word and looked up at the faces around her. Her friends were smiling and had expectant expressions. They were waiting for her to talk. She wasn't sure how all of the sudden she had become the center of attention. This was supposed to be for Theresa, not for her. She shook her head and muttered, "This is your special time, honey."
"Oh never mind me," Theresa replied. She was dying to know what had been going on with Louise.
Rachel had kept quiet during all this exchange. She really didn't understand why Lou seemed so adamant to keep quiet about the matter. It really surprised her and in a way it hurt her. Lou had always come to her whenever she had a problem and had never hidden anything from her. Even when they had been living apart on those first months she had stayed in Rock Creek, Lou had always turned to her. Rachel had learnt straight away that Lou had got pregnant. She had received the letter with the good news as soon as Lou had found out herself. She also got that brief and sad telegram telling her of the miscarriage. Yes, Louise had trusted her completely, but now Rachel was surprised and hurt that her friend wasn't being sincere with her. Lou seemed to feel so uncomfortable to talk about this and Rachel wondered why.
"Louise, you told me that you'd tell me everything when you got back from Blue Creek." Rachel couldn't stay quiet any longer.
"I know," Lou admitted. She kept her eyes downcast, not daring to meet those of her friend's.
"I've heard that you must have had a heck of a time in Blue Creek," April piped in. The same mischievous expression on her face.
Lou still kept quiet and Theresa was running out of patience and almost shouted, "Oh come on, Louise!"
Lou lifted her gaze and couldn't help but smile broadly. She looked at April fixedly and said, "It was wonderful."
The girls laughed delighted with Lou's words. Louise really felt at ease now that she had begun talking to Theresa and the girls. She really hadn't planned to say anything, but her friend's insistence was hard to fight. Besides she was feeling so exultant about everything that was happening to her that she wanted to shout how happy she felt. Moreover, she really was tired of the silly rumors about Captain Hoskins. It was high time she stopped them.
Theresa continued asking. She was still in the dark about what April and Rachel seemed to know everything about. Seemingly, her sister was in a romantic relationship with an army officer called Hoskins, but other than that she didn't know a thing. "What happened in Blue Creek?"
Lou kept quiet for a few moments. She hesitated about what to say. She had told Kid that they would announce their news together but she was feeling so elated that she couldn't hide it any longer. She had to tell somebody. She smiled an even wider smile and whispered, "I got married."
In that moment the room kept in complete silence. "What?" Rachel was the first one to talk. She had heard Lou clearly but she couldn't believe what her ears had heard.
"You got married?" Emma repeated. "Just like that?"
"Well, I …" Lou tried to say but Rachel wouldn't let her.
"This is the stupidest thing you've ever done, Louise McCloud," Rachel was almost shouting. She was furious at Lou. She couldn't believe that her friend could do something so plain stupid. "I really didn't expect this from you." Rachel was really hurt.
Emma wasn't pleased with Lou's news either but she tried to calm tempers down. She understood Rachel's reaction. Lou had always seemed a very sensible girl to her. The truth was that Emma hadn't seen much of her in the last years and maybe her sweet friend had changed more than she thought. "Since when have you been in this … uh … romantic liaison?" Emma asked, trying to understand what was in Lou's mind.
Lou sighed. That wasn't the reaction she had been expecting from her friends and they didn't let her explain herself. She wanted to say that she had married Kid, and not that stiff captain, but Rachel had begun to lecture her. "Around Christmas," Lou answered Emma's question without much enthusiasm, "but …" she tried to add but Rachel broke in again.
"Since Christmas!" Rachel exclaimed, getting angrier by the minute. "How could … How could you marry someone you hardly know? I'm beginning to doubt if I really know you, Louise."
"Rachel, it's not what you think," Lou was almost pleading to be heard, "I …" She tried again but this time it was Emma who interrupted her.
"But why the hurry, Lullabelle?" Emma asked, trying to keep tempers under control.
Lou was about to answer when to everybody's surprise Theresa, who had been quiet, spoke up. "You're pregnant!" she stated. Hearing Emma's question, realization hit her. Louise was with child. That was why she had put on weight and had been violently ill this morning. The idea had even crept in Theresa's mind but she had disregarded it as absurd, but now that Louise was talking about her new man, Theresa had no doubts of what she was talking.
Three pairs of eyes turned their attention to Louise. "Are you?" Rachel asked. Her expression was a mixture of disbelief, anger and pain.
"Oh God," was all Lou could utter. She had given up explaining herself. Rachel was in such a state that she wouldn't listen and now the older woman didn't seem much more pleased with Theresa's words.
"This is really the last straw!" Rachel exclaimed. How could Lou act so foolishly? She got herself pregnant and hurried into a senseless marriage. "I thought you had learned your lesson!" Rachel continued. She wanted to say so many things that she didn't know where to begin, but she felt that she couldn't just now. "I need to go," Rachel said and stomped towards the main door and out of the house.
"Rachel!" Lou shouted after her friend and blurted out the only thing she could find to justify herself. "I love him!" But Rachel was already out of earshot.
"Rachel, wait!" Emma called and followed her friend out of the house. Louise also ran after her two friends. She had to explain to them that it wasn't what they were thinking. She had married Kid and was going to have his baby. She was utterly in love with him and they had married because they wanted to be together, not just because of the baby. "Rachel!" she called as she reached the porch.
Rachel had already left the house and was crossing the yard followed by Emma. Lou called her name again as she stumbled out of her little yard but she stopped dead in her tracks. "Oh God," Lou said out loud as she saw that Rachel had reached the bunkhouse porch. Kid, Buck, Cody and Jimmy were there, getting ready to go to town as Kid had rightly said. Lou saw how a very altered Rachel reached them and gesticulated angrily. "Oh God, she's telling them!" Lou exclaimed bitterly. She knew that she was right as all the looks turned to her.
Then she saw Kid stalking towards where she was to everybody's surprise. He didn't look very pleased and Lou steeled herself for what she knew was coming. When Kid reached her, he didn't waste any time and just bellowed, "Did you tell them?" Kid was really annoyed. He had continuously insisted that they should come clean with their friends and she had argued that they should wait. Now she had spilled the beans about their marriage without even telling him and what was even worst was that Lou hadn't mentioned that it was him who she had married. Now everybody thought that she was the wife of that captain and the thought just made him boil with anger.
"It was a slip of the tongue, Kid," Lou tried to justify herself.
"And you didn't care to explain that it was me you had married?" Kid asked in the same angered tone.
"I tried, honestly, but they didn't let me. They just wouldn't listen," Lou replied. It was the truth. She hadn't meant to say anything. Somehow she had found herself in a situation where she had been forced to speak up. After telling the girls, she had wanted to explain that it wasn't what they thought. She was married to Kid, but Rachel had gotten so angry as soon as she had talked that Lou hadn't been able to say one more word. Rachel had just started barging against her and had left the house in a turmoil.
Kid didn't say anything and just kept staring at Louise with the same angered expression. After a few minutes he muttered coldly, "I'd better get ready for town. The boys are waiting for me." He turned around without further delay and stomped across the yard towards where the boys were already on their horses.
"Kid!" Lou called after him but he never turned his head. He joined the boys and after mounting his horse Kid and the rest rode off towards town. Lou also saw Rachel leaving on her buckboard. Emma was with her. Lou sighed sadly. Somehow at some point everybody had gotten angry with her. She just hoped that their anger wouldn't last. Much to her chagrin she realized that Kid had gotten angry as well and she couldn't blame him. She was even furious with herself. Hopefully his anger wouldn't last long, at least she hoped so. She sighed again and in that moment she noticed somebody's arm over her shoulders. Lou turned her head and realized it was her sister. April was by her side as well.
"Don't pay him any heed, Louise," Theresa said sweetly, "He had no right to come here and make you any demands." The girl and April had followed Louise in exiting the house. When they were on the porch, they saw a very angry Kid talking to Lou. Theresa couldn't believe Kid's nerve. After leaving her sister for another woman he had no call in asking for any kind of explanations. Louise was a free woman and could decide to do with her life whatever she'd choose.
Louise smiled at Theresa but didn't say a word. Now it was useless to try any kind of explanation. She had really messed it up this time. Rachel was furious with her, Emma wasn't much more pleased and she felt she hadn't been fair with Kid. She didn't know how she had come to be in this mess. When she began talking to her friends, she had intended to tell them that she had married Kid but eventually she hadn't been able to. She should have stopped this nonsense about Captain Hoskins as soon as she heard what her friends suspected. She had been a fool. Now everybody thought they knew the truth and Lou feared that she'd have to hear more than one lecture from her dear friends.
"I think it's really romantic," April said. "To meet somebody who swept you off your feet like that."
Louise laughed heartily at her friend's words. April had a way that always made her laugh. Most of the time the girl was so responsible and proper and she was just great with her two kids, but there was this crazy side of her, which Lou found so tender and amusing at the same time. April sometimes found the most illogical things in a way that nobody could consider. She had really been a breath of fresh air to Louise when her problems had weighed too much. April really had a way to make her smile even when Louise hadn't found any motive to do so. No wonder Buck had fallen for her since the first day he had met her. Now that everybody seemed to be so angry or thought that Lou had acted foolishly in her supposed marriage to Captain Hoskins, it was only April that seemed to find the matter romantic.
"Yeah, he really swept off my feet," Lou said, broadly smiling. It was true.
Theresa smiled and clapped her hands enthusiastically. "Oh Louise," the girl exclaimed, "I'm so glad for you."
"Thank you," Lou said, glad that at least Theresa and April hadn't reacted like Rachel.
"But where's your husband? Why isn't he with you at home?" Theresa asked.
"Well, I know a certain lady who has invaded my house, even my own bed," Lou replied in an amused tone.
"Oh Louise!" Theresa exclaimed mortified.
"Don't worry, honey. He's all right with it. He's much more patient than I am," Lou said with a smile. She had been somehow annoyed with Theresa's invasion but Kid had found the matter fine.
"Is your husband coming to my wedding, Louise?" Theresa asked again.
"Of course," Lou said matter-of-factly as the three of them walked up the steps of the house and sat on the chairs on the porch.
Theresa smiled pleasantly. She was so looking forward to meeting her sister's new husband. She was a bit annoyed because she hadn't been permitted to be at Louise's wedding again. When she had married Kid, Theresa had come down with the flu and hadn't been able to be with her sister on her big day and this time it had been Louise's decision to elope like that. Theresa would have liked to have been with her in that moment, but, anyway, the important bit was that Louise had found some happiness. Theresa hadn't seen her sister look so laid-back and happy in a long, long time. Nothing else really mattered.
"When's the baby due, Lou?" April asked.
Theresa smiled broadly. Not only had Louise got married, but also she was expecting a baby. The thing had slipped off her mind and now April's words made her beam for her sister.
"In September," Lou said unable to hide the smile forming on her face. The girl joined in her mirth, but on remembering Rachel's hurt expression and sudden departure her face fell. Lou hadn't meant to hurt her dearest friend like that and now she wished she could be sharing these light-hearted moments with Rachel too. "Rachel didn't seem very pleased with me," Lou mused.
"Don't think about it," April tried to disregard Lou's worries. "You know Rachel. She'll come round."
Lou turned her head to April. "I hope so, April," she said, her voice tinged with the melancholy she was feeling. She couldn't erase the worries from her mind. She knew that Rachel seemed really hurt. She had never seen her so angry before and she just prayed that Rachel would give her the opportunity to explain herself.
That night Louise waited till Theresa had fallen asleep to sneak out of the house. It amazed her how easily her little sister could drop off to sleep. The day before Lou had first married Kid, she hadn't been able to sleep a wink. She had been tossing and turning all night long as she had been so nervous. Yet, Theresa never seemed to lose any sleep over anything. No matter what worries occupied Theresa's mind, she always managed to sleep the night through like a baby. Louise wished she could be like her sister as her own worries kept her awake for long nights.
Luckily for Lou, as Theresa drifted into sleep she was able to leave the bedroom unnoticed. After her revelation Louise had tried to avoid everybody. She wasn't in the mood to talk or hear any lectures, which she knew would be coming. She had enough with Rachel as it was. Unfortunately, she hadn't been able to catch up with Kid all day. She hated to think that he'd be angry with her. She had seen him come back from town but not once during the whole day had he been alone. She had tried to approach him but every time Kid had been with either Buck, Jimmy or Cody; even Teaspoon had been at the ranch today and Lou wouldn't welcome one of his talks right now. Lou had had to stop her intentions to talk to Kid and it pained her to realize that he hadn't made the slightest attempt to get rid of whatever company he was with and come to her side. Lou knew that he was still annoyed with her and it felt as if he was miles away from her grasp. She really missed him. It seemed like ages since they had last been together and alone. This morning she had told him that they would meet in the barn tonight. Louise just hoped that Kid wasn't so angry with her as not to come to her.
Louise stepped out on the porch and as she felt the night coldness in her body she wrapped her coat tightly round her. She was making her way down the steps when a voice startled her.
"Louise!"
She turned around and to her surprise Emma was sitting on the swing on her porch. "Can't you sleep?" the older woman asked her.
Lou approached her friend and instead of answering her question she asked, "What about you?"
Emma shrugged her shoulders and said smilingly, "I guess I just miss that husband of mine." She paused for an instant and then added. "Do you miss your husband tonight too, Lou?"
The younger girl stared at Emma fixedly and felt her cheeks blush hotly. Even though it was very dark, Lou subconsciously covered her red cheeks with her hands shyly. She noticed that Emma was looking at her placidly, which made her smile and she said, "Oh something terrible."
Emma grinned at Lou's sincere words and felt that she needed to tell Louise what was in her heart, "Lou, Rachel's just worried about you. Actually, we both are."
Lou came closer and leaned her back against the porch railing. "I know, Emma."
"She'll come round," Emma continued. "She loves you as her own and I can't say I don't understand her."
Louise just nodded. She was completely aware of everything Emma was telling her. She knew that there was such a strong bond between her and Rachel. Emma was really dear to her but Rachel had been with her through good and bad moments all these years. She could understand what Rachel was feeling. She would have reacted in the same way. "I'll talk to her … to all the family. I didn't have the chance to explain," Lou remarked.
Emma laughed as she remembered Lou's clumsy attempts to speak up but neither Rachel nor she herself had given the girl any option. "You're right, honey." She paused for a beat and then she asked seriously, "Do you love him?"
Lou smiled broadly and exclaimed, "Oh more than anything." There was not a single hint of hesitation in her voice.
Emma smiled at Lou's words. Her mothering instincts had prevailed and, as well as Rachel, her first thought had been one of worry. But now seeing Lou's resolute air Emma understood that they might not have anything to worry about. She had always trusted Lou. She had witnessed how that insecure teenage girl she had first met had grown into a really decent woman. Lou had done so well despite the problems she had to face in her short life. Emma considered that Lou had a right to do things her way. That's what she had always done and she had turned out to be just great.
"I think I'll try to snatch some shut eye," Emma said after a few minutes. "Come with me?"
Louise hesitated and finally muttered, "In a minute." She needed to see if Kid was waiting for her. She just hoped that he was. As Lou had told Emma, she missed him terribly and couldn't wait to be with him.
Emma rose to her feet and gave Lou a little peck on the cheek. "Good night," the older woman said with a smile as she made her way into the house.
Louise watched as Emma disappeared into her house. She waited for a few minutes and only then she hurried across the yard towards the barn. It was a black night and Lou almost fell as her foot tripped over some tool left at the barn door. "Damned boys!" she cursed out loud. She cautiously opened the big door and as she stepped in, she called his name, "Kid!" But nobody answered. She grasped a lantern hanging on the wall. She lit it and began advancing but she soon realized that she was alone in the barn. Kid hadn't come. Her face fell as she thought that he was angrier than she thought. Seemingly he didn't have any wish to see her. She blew the light out and left the lantern where she had found it. Lou dejectedly made her way out of the barn and as she was about to head for her house, she noticed some movement on the bunkhouse porch. Slowly she approached and as she came close, she realized that Kid was there in amiable chat with Cody, Jimmy and Buck.
Kid was leaning over the railing and the others were sitting on the porch steps. Kid noticed her straight away and as he lifted his gaze towards her, the others turned to whatever had attracted his friend's attention.
"Lou," Buck said on seeing her, "what are you doing up so late?"
Louise had reached them and just shrugged her shoulders as an answer to Buck's question. She looked at Kid and to her surprise he smiled at her. She couldn't help but smile back. She arched her eyebrows questioningly, trying to convey why he wasn't waiting for her in the barn. Kid smiled wryly and cast her a meaningful look. Lou understood that he had been stuck with their friends and hadn't been able to do anything about it. It really moved Lou to know that despite today's events he was still trying to play by her rules. She knew that he had wanted to announce their new marriage in a more appropriate way and she felt she had messed it up.
"How are you, Lou?" Jimmy asked. They all had heard from Rachel the unexpected news about Louise. He wanted to ask her about that but he also knew that Lou needed her space. She wouldn't be very willing to talk about it.
"I'm fine," she said as she sat down on the porch step just in front of Kid's standing figure.
Cody was also dying to ask Lou about the whole matter but he wasn't known to be very subtle, so at the first opportunity he just blurted out the question. A smirk flickering at the corner of his mouth. "So Lou, how's this … uh … Captain Hoskins?"
Lou turned her head to meet her blonde friend's eyes. Cody realized that she was anything but pleased with the question. "Don't get me started, Cody," Lou ranted. "Shut up, will you?"
"All right, all right," Cody lifted his arms defensively as the others were also throwing daggers at him. "It was just a question."
The five of them remained in silence after Cody's blunder for a few moments, enjoying the peace the night brought about. It was Lou who broke the silence of the moment. "It is such a lovely night."
"It sure is," Buck agreed.
Lou smiled and added, her gaze directed ahead of her. "Doesn't it remind you of old days? We used to sit on this very spot in nights like this and talk for hours. Tonight really feels like those days. I'm kinda expecting Rachel's voice telling us to go to sleep."
"I don't know, Lou," Jimmy objected, "Many things have changed."
"We have changed," Cody agreed with his friend.
Lou shook her head. "Not really," she said. "Unfortunately, some gaps will never be replaced." She cast a meaningful look at Buck and then carried on. "But we're still the same. Jimmy, you're still hotheaded … in your way and Cody, you're the same buffoon." She paused and in that moment Kid eased himself off his standing position and sat just next to her. Lou turned her head to him and she added smilingly. "No, everything's just the same."