Day 23

She liked to watch him when he wasn't looking, taking advantage of surreptitious opportunities for assessing and evaluating. Like he was a mystery she could crack someday if only she gathered enough clues. The mystery of his war against her, the mystery of his change of heart, the mystery of his darkness, the mystery of them.

When he was near, she'd sense him instinctively. It'd always been that way but now she was conscious of it. Of the undeniable magnetic pull he had on her. Her eyes would find him and she'd feel a rush. In the olden golden days, of affection and friendship. He'd smile back at her like they had some delicious secret just between them, never to be discussed. In the not-too-distant past, of anger, hurt, and/or suspicion. Recently, of longing.

He was at the end of the hall, leaning back against his locker, holding court, surrounded by the usual suspects. He hadn't noticed her yet and she was thankful for the undetected moment to observe him. Growing up, he'd always been good-looking. That was a given. But she found herself now gazing at a stunningly gorgeous individual who fulfilled the dual promise of winning the genetic and geographic lotteries - sired by 1987's Sexiest Man Alive and raised in California sunshine. He was the very picture of robust masculine beauty with bronze hair, tan skin, a surfer's gracefulness, a man's body.

She tried to merge the two Logan's in her head - the one with the wild gestures and incendiary mouth and oft-used fists with the private one she knew - romantic, thoughtful, and broken. To her it seemed like he was two different people and she struggled with the differences.

She wondered, not for the first time, why the hell Lilly ever cheated on him. Then the brief but familiar twinge of sorrow hit whenever she thought about Lilly. If Lilly were here, Logan would still be in love with her. Not her, not Veronica. With Lilly. If she were fool enough to think that he wasn't in love with Lilly, still, that is.

And she was more pragmatic than to believe that anyone who once loved Lilly Kane wouldn't always love Lilly Kane. It was like breathing air. You don't choose to do it, it just happens.

Which made Veronica Logan's rebound and first runner-up in the contest of his heart. Cause all things being equal and all parties being alive, he'd choose Lilly over her every time. She really needed to decide if she was okay with being the winner by default. Winning by default went against every ounce of pride she had.

Cause when a Mars wins, it's hard-fought and motherfucking EARNED. Add that to the Mars family crest.

She opened her locker to find a heart-shaped cinnamon roll inside and despite her best efforts to remain unmoved, the gesture made her stomach flutter, warmth flooding her cheeks, lips parting into an unintentional smile. She glanced back at him and heaved a heavy sigh.

He could break my heart if I'm not careful. And how the heck did he get my new locker combination?

He must've missed Veronica before homeroom. He was waiting for her but got caught up talking with his "friends." His "friends" now included one Troy Vandegraff and Logan could barely restrain himself from kicking his new "friend's" ass. He was trying to be better now, as he'd promised Veronica. Less violent. Less likely to get into trouble so he wouldn't be whipped to a bloody pulp and be forced to miss what was destined to be the best first date in history. Two more days…

Being less violent was particularly challenging when one of your new "friends" waxes poetic about the absolute flawlessness of your girlfriend's ass. Did he really not know we were together? It was basically the news of the school yesterday. But maybe he didn't hear because he's new?

In any case, a very clearly worded edict to STFU about Veronica and any of her absolutely perfect body parts had been issued. Territory marked.

Vandedouche responded with palms up in apology, claiming ignorance.

Yeah, right.

He stood to greet her as she approached, sliding the lunch tray from her hands and setting it down. "Hey. I can't believe this is the first time I'm seeing you today."

She kissed him on the cheek and settled next to him at their new table. "Sorry, I know. During journalism I had to interview the football coach about the championship game this weekend. I tried to text you but my phone died."

"S'okay. I just missed you."

"Thanks for the cinnamon roll. It was sweet."

"Too sweet? Cause I can get you something else next time if it was-"

"The roll was delicious. I mean it was a sweet gesture. You were sweet. I mean… are. You, ah, are sweet." She stumbled inelegantly over her words, not used to making banal romantic declarations. It was somehow easier when they were half-dressed and consumed with each other. Even then, it was Logan who said the sweet stuff. She was either too immersed in the feeling of him for rational speech or too reticent to say anything at all.

He quirked an eyebrow and touched her forehead with the back of his hand. "You feeling okay?"

"Yeah. Why?" She willed herself to stop blushing.

"Just making sure. Not like you to be so gushy."

"Well get used to it mister. There's no end to the compliments I plan on paying you."

"I'll take any compliment you're willing to give," he said with sincerity, like he was still surprised she would ever offer him a kind word.

She looked down at her plate and speared a piece of meatloaf, holding it up to him. "Your eyes… are the color of meatloaf. Not the gray part from the middle. The burnt stuff at the end covered in brown gelatinous gravy."

He laughed with her.

"Flatterer."

"I try. So plan on being bowled over by my expressions of admiration." They shared matching goofy grins. "So do you have a costume for the dance?" she asked, popping the fork in her mouth.

"My favorite subject. Our first date. And yes, I do. Wait. You don't yet?" She could hear the alarm in his voice.

"Oh. I just wasn't sure if we were doing couples costume thing or-"

"Oh shit." His knee started jiggling next to her. "I should've thought of that. Do you want to do the couples thing? It's not too late to change. My mom has connections, I can get us costumes." If he flaps his knee any faster, it'll detach from his leg and take flight. "It's a good idea. We should do it. Let's do it. But… do you even know any 70's couples?"

Wanting to quell Logan's anxious, rambling response to her seemingly innocent question, she touched him, rubbing her thumb gently across his forearm.

Why is he so nervous about this date?

"Don't worry about it. I'll come up with something. And of course I know 70's couples. Keith Mars IS the 70's. I am a veritable 1970's expert. Top couples for the 70's include Sonny and Cher, Farrah Fawcett and Lee Majors, Burt Reynolds and Sally Field, the Captain and Tennille-"

"I'm stopping you there. That's perfect. No one will know who the hell we are and I get to wear a captain's hat."

"The Captain had a look but Tennille is harder to replicate. Basically, she just had a 70's haircut. I'm gonna have to pass on Tennille. Let's just go with mismatched costumes. Are you going to tell me yours?"

"That's a surprise. And don't tell me when you decide either."

Looks like I'm going costume shopping after school. And now I get to do one of my favorite things…

Veronica leaned in with a smirk. "I can be very persuasive when I want to be. And your costume is now the big mystery I intend to solve over the next two days."

"Never gonna happen, Mars. My lips are sealed. Do your best, though. I look forward to being subjected to your formidable bag of tricks." He winked and took a gulp of orange Gatorade.

"Can I tempt you with a bite of delectable eye-colored meatloaf?" she asked, waving her fork in front of him.

"You're gonna have to do a lot better than meatloaf to get me to talk," he said with a double eyebrow bob.

"Game on, Echolls. Game on."

She said her reluctant, demonstrative goodbye to Logan after lunch and literally bumped into Duncan on her way to 6th period. Shockingly, he reached down to pull her up and apologized. Those may have been the first words he'd spoken to her (that she remembered) since Lilly died.

The hallway was deserted, Logan and Veronica having used all available minutes after lunch to canoodle, thereby sending them both scrambling to their classes on opposite sides of the school.

"Hey. It's, um, good to see you," Duncan said.

Veronica saw the opportunity to question him and seized it.

"Duncan. Can we talk privately?"

He looked around uneasily. "I was just going to ask you the same thing."

"Yeah. Okay. Let's go to my office. Follow me."

Once they were on opposite sides of the girls' bathroom across from the music room, Veronica got her bearings. There were several important questions she had about the night of Shelly's party.

"Veronica, there's something I want to tell you."

"I have some things I need to ask you about," she said, ignoring the bell indicating the start of 6th period.

"Okay. But let me go first, I've been trying to figure out what I'm going to say to you for days. Since Logan came over and, um, let me know about you two. Have you gone out with him yet?"

"Not that it's any of your business, but no, we haven't."

He exhaled deeply. "Oh. Great. That's… great. So, I owe you a huge apology. I know I was a total jerk to you after we broke up but I want you to know it was never your fault. I was dealing with some… unexpected news that made it impossible for us to date."

"And what news was that?"

"I can't tell you. I want to. But it's not really my place to say anything. Just know you didn't do anything wrong at all. And I've been thinking a lot about us… and I think…" He paused and looked tortured for a second then fixed his eyes on her. "We should still be a couple." He started moving toward her, brown shoes squeaking on the recently mopped floor with each step. "I'm not over you. I've tried for over a year and I can't get past it. I'm so tired of trying to get over you. It's exhausting." He was right in front of her now. "So I decided there's no reason we can't continue to date and, um, not tell anyone. As long as we use birth control it'll be fine. We can go to college together on the East Coast and no one will have to know. We can-"

"WHAT?" She stormed away from him toward the opposite wall. "What the hell are you saying? You want us to be together? Now that me and Logan are a couple? This is crazy."

"I'm NOT crazy," he fumed, turning red.

"I didn't say you were. I said this is crazy. This idea."

He crossed the room quickly and put his hand on her waist. "I used to be the one you wanted. We were perfect together. I can make you happy again."

"No, you can't," she said, pushing his hand away. "You walked away and I moved on."

His face fell. "If you forgave Logan, you can forgive me. I didn't do nearly the damage he did. The stuff he said to you… I honestly can't believe you're with him. I'd never speak to you that way, Veronica. Never. You know that. I'd treat you-"

"Duncan. Stop. This isn't happening."

He backed to the door, pleading with her. "Just think about it. Take a few days. Remember how it was… it can be that way again. Don't you miss it?"

He left before she could question him about the party.

Shit. Shit. Shit. And WHAT was with the birth control comment?

"Is there anything either of you would like to share with me?" Ms. James asked pointedly.

"Nothing I can think of," Logan said.

"So no big changes in your personal lives, then?" she asked, smiling.

"Nope," Veronica said, returning the smile. "Just business as usual."

"I see. Are you aware that teachers use the hallways to get from place to place in the school?"

"Shocking." Logan made a face.

"It is. And I just so happened to be using the hallway to get back from the teachers' lounge after lunch today and saw what appeared to be you two engaged in a serious lip lock. Serious enough that I cleared my throat a foot away from you but neither of you noticed."

"That doesn't sound like us, does it Logan?"

"Not at all. Whenever we kiss, I always make sure there are no teachers around to disturb us."

"Very funny. So I repeat the question. Any news you want to share?"

Logan leaned in toward her desk conspiratorially. "Well, since you asked nicely and it seems we've been caught, I'll confess. Veronica and I like to make out after lunch. We'd be grateful if you didn't try to interrupt us next time. Deal?"

She tried to hide the smile from his smart-assedness but he knew he won over Becky James a few weeks ago. It was the infamous Echolls charm. Worked on all female 13-to-49 year olds and certain males as well. "We'll see. I'm making no promises. And what you're doing with the kissing, does that mean-"

"It means we like kissing each other. A lot." Veronica said, shrugging her shoulders and shooting Logan a look.

"Yep. A whole lot," he readily agreed, nodding his head.

"Interesting. And may I add not at all surprising. Just make sure you save your kissing for after-school hours. I want you to get through something important without any distractions for the next few days. You won't be having detention and will be required to spend the hour in the library with another set of questions. These questions must be asked of each other in order. Don't skip any of them, understand?"

"Got it. We'll focus on the questions not the lips," Logan promised.

"Why, Veronica Mars, are you getting handsy with me?" Logan asked as Veronica's fingertips danced down his t-shirt and headed toward a rapidly growing target. They were seated side-by-side at "their" table in the back near the biographies. No high school kids ever wanted to read a biography. They were too caught up in their own lives to want to learn about anyone else's.

Veronica quirked a brow and glanced around the library, prompting Logan to do the same. No kids anywhere, no librarian to be found. She smiled in a way that let Logan know he was toast. "I could get handsy if I had the right incentive. I deal in information. Is there anything you could offer that would inspire me to do something interesting with my hands?"

Gulp.

God, yes. I'll tell you whatever you want to know. My costume for the dance. My costume for next Halloween. My credit card number.

No! I need to be strong. This is a challenge. I cannot embarrass myself by caving this early. Even with an offer of a handjob. Jesus, public handjobs are on the table now? How far is she willing to go with this?

"I made a guarantee to our favorite guidance counselor that we would focus on the task. I won't let you lead me astray, no matter how tempting the offer. And I assure you, it is incredibly tempting."

She frowned adorably and he leaned over to gently nip at her protruding lower lip, then swiped his tongue across it, just for a second, tasting the mint from her gum. He tapped the page in front of him and cleared his throat.

"Question 1: Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?"

"I assume this is referring only to the living. If not, I'd choose Lilly. I'll have to go with my dad's favorite baseball player, Terrence Cook. He'd lose his mind with joy. He's such a baseball geek. You?"

"This is tricky because I've had dinner with all sorts of famous people and they all suck. At least the actors do. I'll say Jeremy Frank. He was my first real surfing instructor. Great dude. Very humble. Started a charity that helps underprivileged kids learn to surf."

Veronica nodded and slid the paper toward her. "Question 2: Would you like to be famous? In what way?" She held up a finger to stop him. "You don't even need to answer. I know yours. And my answer is also an emphatic no. Question 3: Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?"

He mulled it over. "You know, I don't think I've ever rehearsed any…. Oh, wait. I used to, I don't know if I'd say 'rehearse,' but I'd definitely think about what I would say when I called my parents to ask permission to sleep over at the Kane's, especially if I'd had too much to drink. My mom was always so drunk herself that she'd never pick up on my own intoxication. I believe you helped me out with a few of those calls, remember?"

"Yeah. I used to write down what you should say, like a script." She paused. "I sometimes have to make work-related calls where I assume different accents. But I never rehearse that stuff, I work better off the cuff."

"Spoken like the champion bullshitter you are. I say that with admiration. Question 4: When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?"

"I sing to myself all the time. Especially in the car. I always bring my iPod on stakeouts. Helps to pass the time."

"What about singing to someone else?"

She gave him a wicked grin and sang suggestively into his ear, "I'm a slave for you, I cannot hold it, I cannot control it. I'm a slave for you, I won't deny it, I'm not trying to hide it."

"Good ol' Britney. She's always been so wholesome and subtle."

"Didn't you have a huge thing for Britney? Like for an excruciatingly long time?" She started playing with his hair and dropped her voice seductively. "I know all the words to that song. I even know a dance. We had a whole routine to it for pep squad that got axed because it was 'too sexual.' I may be tempted to perform that dance again if I had the proper motivation."

Gulp.

"In the pep squad uniform?" His voice sounded strangled.

"I think that could be arranged."

Gulp. Gulp.

She just offered up two (two!) of my favorite Veronica fantasies. Oh fuck. Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck. I'm never gonna make it. I'll fold before this hour is up.

Inhale. Exhale.

"I find it amusing that you think me so weak-willed. I know you. You'd never respect me if I gave up my treasured bit of information so easily."

Say you would. Tell me you'd still respect me. Say it and I'll tell you whatever you want to know.

"Hmm. You need to answer the question."

What question?

"Do I sing to myself? Generally, no. I love music but my complete and utter tone-deafness has made me sadly self-conscious. I sing along from time to time when I know no one can hear me. And I never, ever sing to anyone else."

She slapped her hand down on the table. "That's not true. You and Duncan used to serenade Lilly and me with all of our favorite boy band hits, remember?"

"Oh God. That's right. I learned all the NSync songs just for you."

"C'mon. Lay one on me for old times' sake."

She batted her eyes at him and he couldn't help himself. He belted out with some synchronized in-the-seat dance moves, "Don't wanna be a fool for you, just another player in your game for two. You may hate me but it ain't no lie, Baby bye bye bye."

She gave him an enthusiastic round of applause and he tipped his head in thanks, cheeks aching from smiling. Her eyes were bright and he kissed her, softly. Pulling back, he thought they must look so sickeningly cute together that if it were anyone but them, he'd relentlessly shame and snark them into submission.

Alas, I'm just a teenager in love.

He read from the paper. "Okay. Next question: If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

Veronica put her chin in hand, considering. "So if I answer body, I'm immediately shallow and vain."

"Not necessarily. I'm going to say body. My mind is sharp as a tack. And if I kept the body of a 30-year-old, I'd be able to surf in my 80's."

"I choose mind. Being smart is more important to me than sagging skin."

"You say that now, when your body is picture-perfect. My mom would jump at the chance for a 30-year-old body."

"I see your point. It's easier to choose mind when your body is-"

"Incredible? Miraculous? Firm? Succulent? A Wonderland?"

She grinned at him. "Thank you. I was going to say young. But I still choose mind. The next question is: Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?"

"Well that's not sexy at all. Skip. Let's talk more about your body."

She shook her head. "We're not skipping any of them. Answer, please."

My dad will go too far and kill me someday. He'll beat me in a blinding fury and when he realizes what he's done, as I lie helpless and unmoving on the floor, he'll choke the breath out of me because it'll be easier than dealing with the ramifications of sending me to the hospital.

Sounds like a fantastic answer. I'm sure she'll love it.

"I think I'll die doing what I love. Surfing or having sex. Or maybe surfing while having sex."

"That'd do it. Too many things to concentrate on and you'd probably drown."

He raised a brow expectantly. "I can't wait to hear your answer to this."

"I hope I die peacefully in my sleep at the ripe old age of 92."

"But is that how you really think you'll go?"

He watched her play with the questions, turning the paper with her index finger acting as a pivot point in the corner. Upside down. Right side up. Upside down. "No. Probably not. It could be a case gone wrong."

"Are you hearing yourself right now? You're admitting that your after-school part-time job could result in your DEATH. Yet you continue to bee-bop through life like it ain't no thang."

"I'm doing what I need to do to help my dad and I happen to love it. And I didn't mean a case gone wrong now. I meant if I go into law enforcement or the FBI or something, I could potentially be killed. At some point far, far in the future."

"Hmm. Next question: Name three things that you and your partner appear to have in common. Oh, this is a good one."

"I think we're both judgmental adrenaline junkies with a dark side."

He leaned back in his chair and locked his fingers behind his head in thought. Finally, he said, "I concur. Although some of us," he slid his eyes to her,"*cough cough* are more judgmental than others. We're also both hot, in appearance and temper, loyal, and intelligent."

"Agreed. Although some of us *cough cough* are hotter than others."

"Touche. Next question: For what in your life do you feel most grateful?"

"Pfft. That's easy. My dad."

"Easy one for me, too. I'm most grateful for you," he blurted without thinking.

Oh shit. Oh damn. Too much too soon. She's going to backpedal or make a joke or-

She leaned into his side and took his hand in hers. "I'm grateful for you, too."

Inhale. Exhale.

She read, "If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?"

He thought about telling her the deep, dark secret no one knew. It'd be nice to unburden himself to someone who actually cared. He'd never told anyone, not even Lilly. She always bought his ridiculous stories about the cuts on his back and burn marks. She wasn't one to dig too deep or think too hard about others. He'd never get Veronica to buy that shit. The only reason she didn't know now is because his dad hadn't touched him in the last few weeks.

"I'd change everything. I'd want parents who weren't famous. Ones who raised me themselves, no nannies, with love, and didn't find it necessary to abuse alcohol, drugs, or resort to plastic surgery."

"Yeah." She nodded sadly at him. "I'm sure you can guess, I'd choose to have my mom be sober, too."

They were still holding hands and he squeezed hers. "We missed that similarity before. Our moms."

"Right. We did."

"I think that may be a reason we're drawn to each other. Mothers with substance abuse issues. Do you, um, ever hear from your mom?"

"No. She split and hasn't been in contact since."

He turned and looked at her full in the face, cupping her jaw. "Veronica. I'm so sorry. I don't think I've ever said that to you. I can't imagine… if my mom were to go away and just leave me alone with my dad… I don't think I could deal with that. Some of us are stronger than others, I guess."

"I'm going to find her and bring her home and get her help. I can't just give up on my mother," she said quietly.

He hugged her, drawing her close. "I can help you. Whatever you need." He felt her nod into his chest.

She pulled back and said, "Last question for today. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?"

"Oh. Superhero stuff – flying, strength, speed, telepathy, telekensis. All excellent choices. But I think I'd want the ability to stop time."

"Like everything stops but you?"

"Exactly. I could move around while everyone else was frozen."

"Why?"

"I could get out of certain unsavory situations that way. Screw with people's minds. Also, I could live longer in the good moments, really take everything in so I don't miss anything. Like an extended mental picture."

Like last night in the car. How I wish I could've frozen time last night.

"That's a really… interesting answer. I like it. I'd want the ability to read people's minds."

"Oh that's terrible. You don't want to know what other people are thinking. Truly. People are awful. You'd end up being miserable listening to everyone's doubts and self-absorption and ignorance all day."

"Yes, I SO do. I'd know instantly if someone were lying. My life would be exponentially easier. It's my ultimate wish."

"Okay. I guess I have to accept your answer even though I think it would lead to madness and despair."

"Thanks for being concerned about my mental health."

"No problem, that's what boyfriends do. Care about your mind, body, and soul. With particular attention to your body."

She gave him the "you're toast" look again. "Speaking of my body… want to come back to my place? I'm sure I can find my old pep squad uniform somewhere in the back of my closet. I'll put on my Britney CD. Just whisper in my ear what I need to know and-"

"Veronica!"

"What?" she asked, face lit up like a Christmas tree.

"Please stop," he begged. "You're killing me."

She patted his shoulder. "Aw. You know you're loving every minute of this. This is what we do."

Match wills? Yes. It is. Too bad yours is stronger than mine.

A/N: Hi dear readers. Thank you so much for continuing this journey with me. Only a few more chapters to go for these two... Also, I should mention that I am taking these questions from an interesting article I read. According to a Canadian researcher, apparently there are 36 questions that you can ask someone, in order, and they will make you fall in love. I'm skipping/editing those as needed to fit this story but basically, yes, these questions will make you fall in love with someone, as proven by science. Weird, huh? Feel free to use this information in your personal life. ;)