A/n: merry christmas guys (whoops when did it become christmas I swear this wasn't supposed to take so long to write... story of my life tbh). I'm back, with what is obviously (read: sarcasm [except fo u kym i know dis ur fave]) the best christmas present you're gonna get this year!

"Actually call this time!" Jane yelled through the customs barrier at the retreating superheroes. Thor laughed and waved before disappearing into the crowd.

"I don't know how he's managing to look so normal," Darcy said from beside her. "Sure, we finally convinced him to wear some people clothes, but he's still... well, Thor."

"Probably something to do with the fact that we're in an airport." Jane mused. "You'd expect they'd get the helicarrier to pick them up or something."

Darcy nodded - they'd both been expecting that, or perhaps for them to go on the dragons, but Tony Stark had other ideas. Jane might've accepted his reasoning if he were anyone else - why would a billionaire be concerned with wasting money on plane tickets? Maybe he just found the Vikings' attempts to look normal in public funny - or, as Jane theorised, maybe he was avoiding Fury. After all, he still hadn't (to her knowledge) attended the debriefing the Director had been threatening them with.

Whatever his reasoning, it was no longer Jane's problem. "Come on," she said, drawing her gaze from where Thor had slipped away, "we need to make sure Selvig hasn't decided to strip in front of any other world heritage sites..."

The second flight, Snotlout found, was much less interesting than the first. And the first hadn't even been that interesting - what was the point of flying in a container, why couldn't it be like those open topped cars Tony had? But it was over now, and they were disembarking the plane at last.

"Now," Tony said as they made their way to airport security, "we have to try and get through quickly. Fury's probably sent some agents over to collect us (wouldn't put it past him to find out what flight we're on) and I, for one, don't want to have to actually go to that debriefing."

Snotlout nodded. He shared the sentiment; they'd had to have a mini meeting after the incident on the oil rig with all those weird glowy people, and it had been one of the most boring experiences of his life (not the most boring, mind: he'd once listened in on Hiccup and Fishlegs discussing one of the new dragon breeds they'd found.)

The trip through security was, while tense, uneventful. Hawkeye's keen watch didn't find even a hint of any SHIELD agents he recognised, and the civilian clothes the team wore drew no attention.

"Wow!" Tony grinned as they walked outside, confident in Clint's assessment of a clear coast, "Looks like we're actually going to make it." He opened the car door, and his grin fell.

"Sorry boss," Happy said with an awkward smile. Beside him, Fury didn't look impressed.

"Looks like you're coming with me."

There really was no avoiding this meeting. Tony would know: he was a veritable expert in the art of dodging such events, and he'd pulled out every excuse in the book (including 'I think I left the oven on' - which JARVIS helpfully ruined with a quick "All ovens in the tower are off, sir.", filthy traitor that the AI was.)

So here he was, sat around a stuffy table in a stuffy room with people just as bored as him (if not more so). And a couple of dragons, but that was beside the point. At least the chairs are comfy, he mused, giving the stylised office chair a quick spin.

Fury cleared his throat pointedly. "If you're finished behaving like a child,"

"Oh, never," Tony grinned, spinning the chair in a full circle to prove it.

"You're a grown ass man, Stark." Fury deadpanned.

"Just listen," Hiccup suggested. "It'll go quicker. And hey, you might learn something new for next time!"

"Next time?" Tony repeated, "Who says I'm gonna go through all this saving the day lark again?"

The next second he was cursing his mouth, as a distant siren sounded. The Avengers jumped to attention, and Fury shot a smug look in the billionaire's direction. Tony sighed.

"I'll go get the suit."

Hiccup was up on Toothless's back and moving in the direction of the siren before Fury even had a chance to make a sarcastic comment towards Tony. It occurred to him on the way that he perhaps should've waited for instruction - he didn't even know what the alarm meant, after all, but quickly ignored that train of thought when he noticed the screaming, then the smoke, and then, finally, the sudden shift in air pressure as it reached him.

Toothless momentarily lost control, and rider and dragon were swept down the corridor, past the various agents clinging on to small ridges in the walls for dear life, and into the affected room.

"What happened here?" Hiccup yelled over the wind as the two were dragged through a sizeable hole in the ship's exterior, along with a stream of papers and deskware. "Is someone attacking?"

'No one that I can see,' Toothless flared his wings out to stop their descent, then flew back through into the helicarrier. 'Is there a way to stop the air escaping?'

Hiccup squinted against the air and assorted stationery. "Over there," he pointed to a panel beside the door, "we can close off this room."

Toothless bounded over to the switch, and Hiccup slammed the button to close the door. "Right," he said as the doors slid down, "now to pick up anyone who's fallen."

When the pair got back outside, backup had arrived, in the form of Tony and the other dragons. They were shooting after the SHIELD agents who'd fallen, and with a quick nudge from Hiccup, Toothless sped down after them.

Despite the others' head start, the Night Fury's superior speed allowed him and Hiccup to be the first to reach a person. Toothless grabbed out with his front paws and gripped onto the closest agent - a blonde woman whose hair had somehow managed to stay tied up in a neat bun throughout her experience - in a sort of hug (if it could be considered as such when one member of the hug was upside down, and the other was a dragon).

"You okay?" Hiccup called down to the dangling woman, who nodded mutely in response.

"Thanks," she said as he pulled her up. "You wouldn't be able to try and catch some of these computers, would you?" she asked, gesturing to the plummeting software, "Could save us a few hours of work - it hasn't been backed up yet, it's all just reports."

Hiccup checked back up towards the other dragons and riders. All of them had a few people caught, and there were only one or two still making a descent. "Alright," he agreed. "You heard her, bud."

"Nothing came up through the hole, right?" Steve checked. He and his other landlocked teammates were stuck with Fury in the main area of the ship, hoping that something might occur that was visible through the large windows.

"See for yourself," Fury invited, sweeping an arm over to one of the overhead screens. It was displaying loops of the force that created the hole, each loop with a different degree of slow-mo. Steve watched as the latest repeat, this one slowed so that the seconds-long clip lasted a full minute, showed him... nothing.

"Something was shot from below," Clint said. "Didn't look deliberate though - what's beneath us right now?"

"New York," Natasha supplied. "Looks like it was accidental." She held up the pad she'd been looking at, showing a badly shot clip of... well, Steve couldn't be sure; the camera work was shoddy at best, as well as the video quality, but it looked like something was attacking. "This popped up in the last five minutes."

By the looks of it, Clint couldn't tell what was happening either. He was squinting at the shaky images with some confusion.

"Wait." he held out a hand, and Natasha paused the video. "Look at that," Clint pointed to the corner of the screen. There was an object, small, thin and blurry from its movement, headed directly upwards. "That's probably what hit us."

"That thing?" Steve said, knowing as he said it that it was stupid; he'd lived in this century for long enough to know that a lot of tech had shrunk. "But it's so thin... And how would it make it up there?"

"You'd have to ask Stark," Clint shrugged, "It's his invention."

Technically, that made sense. Those arrows were pretty high-tech, and made by Tony, so they'd probably be capable of hitting targets miles off, but... "Tony made it? What're your arrows doing in the hands of... whoever that is?"

Fury stood up. He walked over to his station to look at the screens. "That's what you're going to go find out."

"AAAAAAARGH!"

"Heh, nice scream. Real girly."

"Shut up! That fridge was like, really close to my face!"

Hiccup weaved under said fridge as it hurtled towards him. "Focus!" he shouted to the twins, who were now too concentrated in their argument to notice the next piece of kitchen equipment being chucked their way.

"Ha! This tech is great!" the Avengers' current assailant, a pasty teen with a serious 'rich kid' vibe, decked out in a strangely put together metal suit, laughed. "Picking up this oven is effortless!"

"How's it going over there?" Steve intoned. The Vikings had split off to combat the main problem, but the others had been distracted by an army of shoddily pieced together drones.

"Not great." Hiccup admitted. "He's seen us, and he broke into a restaurant to throw their kitchen at us. It's been a fun ten minutes."

"Fun for you!" shouted Snotlout, who had yet to remove the pan (still filled with the soup of the day, which looked to be tomato based) from his head. "With the fast dragon who'll actually dodge stuff for you." He yanked the pot away from its position, and hurled it at their attacker.

"Rude!" the teenager shouted in response. "Who even are you guys, anyway? Avenger groupies?" He scoffed. "You're always on the news just behind them. It's quite sad, really. Why would they pick some lame costumed weirdoes when there's clearly a better man for the job?" Then he flexed, and crushed a frying pan with his armour.

"Oh," Hiccup realised. He sighed, and turned his attention back to Steve. "Can you come over here? I think I know how to stop this."

As per Hiccup's instruction, the remaining Avengers made their way over to the restaurant, destroying a few stray drones as they did. They kept out of sight until there was a brief reprieve in the kitchenware, now down to cutlery.

"Ahem." Tony cleared his throat loudly, catching the villain's attention. "Put the spoon down," he said, with an air of someone requesting the same of a man with a deadly weapon. "You don't have to scoop that ice cream!"

The boy, Steel Boy (or perhaps Steal Boy, Hiccup was unsure of the spelling) - as dubbed by Tony at first sight of his commandeered tech, turned at the noise. "Finally!" he said, rolling his eyes in exasperation, "Took you guys long enough!" He added, jerkily floating down from his hovering position and dropping all pretences of the attack he'd kept up for the last hour.

Steve took one look at the boy. "Son, he said slowly, "no."

"Did you see how I fended off those losers with their - what, fake dragons?" The boy snorted. "Who even thinks dragons are cool, anyway?"

"Well," Tony began matter of factly, (oh god here comes some dumbass pun), "since dragons are creatures that create fire, I think everyone can agree that they'd be hot instead of cool."

"...anyway," the boy visibly ignored the joke, "is there like, a super secret initiation ceremony now? Do we go back to the base? Where is the base, anyway? I'll have to know, now that I'm an Ave -"

The repeated "son, no," from Steve was no louder than the first, but this time it gave the late teen pause.

"What? Do I have to get my superhero name first?"

"No," Clint took over, much brasher than Steve. "The only thing that's gonna happen is we're gonna take you up to the helicarrier to find out who's been deluding you, saying you could be an Avenger."

"What?"

Clint sighed. "We're not looking for members. And even if we were, people tend to get in on more of a... random happenstance, really."

"Yeah," Snotlout butted in, flying low and upside down directly next to Steel Boy. "Like us winners with our real dragons."

Steel Boy's face contorted into a scowl. "Fine!" he shouted. "If you can't see how superior I am -"

("Oooh," Clint added sarcastically, "He knows big words.")

"- I'll just show you!"

Steel Boy held his hands out, and the stolen propulsors splittered pathetically.

"I said I'll show you!" he repeated forcefully, but his metal gloves decidedly failed to liven up.

"That's Hammer tech for you," Tony said, unable to avoid sounding smug. "Shoddily put together, probably stolen... and with terrible battery power."

He grinned, then laughed as Astrid swept past, grabbing him up and turning him upside down.

"Alright," Tony said, "let's just get him in a cell or something."

"You know, we're really not half bad at this," Snotlout boasted, relaxing back in his chair with his arms folded behind his head. "We should totally do this all the time. We could have a team name!" he grinned, and sat back forwards. "Like... Team Snotlout!"

"I preferred D.U.M.B," Astrid deadpanned. "Let's just stick with the Avengers."

"Whatever," Snotlout scoffed, "you just don't know awesome when you hear it. Anyway, when's our next mission gonna be?"

"It'll be whenever we need you," Fury deadpanned. "Knowing the state of the Earth, I wouldn't expect you to be waiting for too long."

Fishlegs had noticed that Steve, despite claiming to wake far before most of the rest of the tower ("not counting people who never go to sleep in the first place", he'd add, with a pointed glare over at the scientists), always seemed to be one of the last to arrive to breakfast.

"Oh!" Steve said when asked, "I usually go for a run in the mornings. Do you want to come with?"

Fishlegs considered the option. On one hand: no. No running, no early rising. On the other hand, if he wasn't in the tower in the morning, he couldn't get the usual rude awakening from one of the twins blowing something up. "I could come watch," he'd agreed, based on this logic. "It would be nice to see some of the scenery, and I might find some better rocks for Meatlug."

At this point, Tony had given an affronted gasp, and asked, mocking hurt, why the rocks he was currently ordering (from some obscure professional rock gardening company, no less) weren't up to par.

"I'll ask Eret to come along, too," he said before Tony could completely derail the conversation. "He might actually want to run."

As it turned out, Eret did want to run - or at least, he had at first. Three laps around the Washington Monument later and he joined Fishlegs beneath the tree he'd picked out.

"I have to get some superpowers," he panted, accepting the water bottle Fishlegs offered with a nod of thanks. "I'm pretty fit, but his stamina's just insane."

The two allowed silence to fall between them, enjoying the sounds of nature (and, early as it was, minimal traffic) for a few minutes.

"Huh," Eret said, breaking the peace, "Some other guy's trying to keep up. Well, good luck to him."

Fishlegs hummed acknowledgement, cracking an eye open to peer over at the newcomer. He was indeed running round the same track as Steve, and, though he was nowhere near the Avenger's speed, he was actually still trying.

"Place your bets now for how many times he's gonna get lapped." Eret joked, raising his hands and folding them above his head as he leant back to watch.

"Oh, they'll both pass us at the same time!" Eret noted, a few minutes of commentating later (minutes mostly filled with variants of "the newcomer got lapped again"). "Hey guys!" he shouted, waving at the two runners.

Steve grinned and gave a salute as he jogged past, smiling effortlessly. "On your left," he said, challenge in his voice, as he passed his considerably more worn down companion.

Steve was having a great time. Usually these jogs were carried out alone, but he was finding it quite fun to have his friends visible over at the edge of the park, and to have another runner with him - even if they were a stranger, and in no way capable of keeping his pace. Even though their only interaction had been Steve's "on your left"s and the other man's reactions to these, Steve could tell he was an amicable person.

A few more laps of the water in front of the obelisk later, and Steve's new friend was looking considerably more annoyed. Steve was grinning, however, as he jogged past. He kept pace with the man for a few seconds, savouring in the tense wait for the words to be said.

"On your left."

"Gaah!" the man stopped, put his hands onto his knees, and sighed. "I give up! I'm gonna sit this next lap out."

Steve laughed, jogging in place for a while. "Go sit over there," he offered, pointing to the Vikings' tree. "Those are my friends."

"Huh," the other said, following the point. "Hope they've not got some crazy superpowers too."

"Need a medic?" Steve asked, barely concealing a smile, as he approached the small group. While Eret had recovered from his exertion, the other man - whose name, Steve realised, he still didn't know - was still panting heavily.

"I need a new set of lungs," he returned, regarding Steve with a mildly incredulous look. "You just ran like 13 miles in half an hour."

"Huh," Steve looked back at the Washington Monument briefly. "Guess I was a bit slow."

The other man laughed. "You should be ashamed of yourself," he joked. "Go take another lap." He looked over to the two Vikings, who were grinning as they watched the transaction. "You think he just took it?" he asked the two. "I assume you just took it."

Eret laughed. "Maybe if he had Toothless's help."

"Toothless?" the man repeated. "That another buddy of yours? What's his thing, promoting dental health?"

Steve smiled. "More like barely obeying speed limits." He offered out a hand to pull the other man up. "Steve Rogers."

"I figured that already," the man said, taking the hand. "Sam Wilson. And these guys are Fishlegs and Eret, right?"

Steve nodded. "Weird names, right?"

Sam shrugged. "They say they're Vikings. I wouldn't believe them, but I know that people can last a surprisingly long time in ice." When Steve just nodded, he continued, "Must be really weird for you lot, suddenly finding yourself in the 21st Century. Missin' the good old days?"

"Eeh," Steve pulled a face, tilting his hands in a gesture to match the sentiment. "There's a lot of good stuff - technology in general, for these two -"

"Everything from transport to dental hygiene," Fishlegs agreed.

"- the Internet, that's pretty convenient - and no polio, always a plus." Steve smiled as Sam chuckled. "Just a lot of catching up to do."

Sam considered that for a second. "Marvin Gaye, 1972, Trouble Man soundtrack. Everything you missed in one album."

"I'll put it on the list," Steve said, pulling out a small notebook to do just that.

"Not sure about you two, though," Sam gestured to the two Vikings. "Maybe find a book, like, A Thousand and One Useful Inventions Since the Tenth Century."

"I'll keep an eye out," Eret grinned.

"Oh," Steve had finished jotting down the new information, and was now looking at his phone - the latest in Stark's range, at Tony's insistence that he couldn't hang around with people who used 'ancient brick phones'. "Duty calls." He flashed the text to Eret and Fishlegs.

Sam nodded his understanding. "Nice meeting you," he said, offering a hand to shake. "And if you ever feel like dropping by the VAS and making me look awesome in front of the girl at the front desk..."

"I might just take you up on that," Steve nodded, then turned at the sound of a car pulling up. In it was Natasha, leant out of the wound-down window.

"Any of you boys got directions to the Smithsonian?" she asked. "I've got to pick up some fossils."

"Real funny," Steve laughed, slipping into shotgun after the two Vikings. "Real joker, this one."

Sam laughed. "See ya, then."

"It's a mobile satellite launch platform," a man Bruce didn't recognise, wearing the typical SHIELD agent uniform and holding a pad - probably of the Stark variety - which he used to swipe the information up onto the larger screen as it became relevant. "Just setting up their last load when pirates took 'em, 93 minutes ago."

"How many?" Steve asked.

"25," the agent responded. "They're being lead by this man -" with another swipe, a grim-looking face appeared on the main screen, "- name of Batroc. Known for causing maximum casualties."

Steve studied the screen and nodded. "Sounds simple enough," he said, smiling slightly at the group. "We just don't give him the chance to create any. When do we start?"

The agent checked his pad, then conferred with the woman piloting the small aircraft."We'll be over the ship in about a minute. Parachutes are over there," he added, nodding to the wall next to the door.

The group at large shared a look. Bruce glanced over at the cockpit, and saw that the pilot was also smiling - clearly, she'd been an agent for longer. If the man noticed the shared amusement, he didn't comment on it.

"Right then," Steve smiled, taking his shield off the wall and pointedly ignoring the parachutes, "we must be over the ship now, right?"

Hiccup pressed the door release with his fist and glanced down into the darkness. "I'd say so," he confirmed, squinting a bit against the wind. "Shall we get going then?"

The twins gave a battle cry in lieu of response, and rushed over to the door. The new agent startled when the twins jumped out, swiftly followed by Steve (in a neat dive), Hiccup (who leant backwards and toppled, smirking, over the edge), then Tony (who gave a sloppy salute then stepped backwards off the edge, not losing eye contact with the poor agent).

Clint scoffed. "Show offs," he told the agent, "the lot of them." He and Natasha actually stopped to apply parachutes before starting their descents. Eret and Fishlegs forewent the parachutes, and also the smug show-offance of their friends.

"Don't worry," Bruce told the gobsmacked agent calmly, "they like to do this sort of thing - they'll be fine. Actually -" he said a beat later - "Tony might want his suit..." Bruce walked over to the equipment wall and took the Iron Man armour (Mark 62, if he recalled correctly), then dropped it over the edge.

"Are they all super-powered then?" the agent asked, visibly recovering.

"Nope." Bruce smiled. "They're all going to... why don't you just look instead."

The agent approached the edge somewhat cautiously, and kept a death-grip on the handle beside the door as he glanced over the edge. "Oh." he said faintly. Then, "Oh. Freya - my SO - told me about the - the dragons, but I thought she was joking."

"Finished initiating the newbie?" Tony's voice rang out on the com - must've managed to catch the suit then.

"Wouldn't have to if you lot didn't find it so funny." Bruce countered easily. "Anyway, what's your status?"

"Surprisingly, still taken." Bruce could just hear the wink. "But I'll make an exception just for you, if you really want a piece of -"

"Mission status," Bruce clarified; he'd walked into that one.

"How boring. Well, Steve's just hit the water. Good entry, minimal splash, but not many tricks on the descent. I'd give it a six."

"Harsh," another voice, Hiccup's - joined, "seven, at least."

"Steve's getting on the ship." Astrid supplied. "We're all waiting in the air, no sign we've been noticed just yet, and Nat and Clint are quite a bit above us."

Bruce considered that information, and watched as it was confirmed when Steve came into view of one of the security camera's they'd intercepted the feed for. "You know," he said, looking at the array of guards, "I think these guys can probably swim."

"Copy that."

A soft growl, one Bruce recognised as Dragonese, startled the agent as it came through on the speakers.

"That's just Hiccup," Bruce explained. "He can speak Dragon."

There were a few more seconds of static and the whoosh of wind, then a black blur flitted across the security feed. Prior to the blur there had been ten black-clad, gun-toting men surrounding Steve, but now there were nine. Over the speakers, there was a muffled, strangled sort of scream which ended abruptly with a splash.

"You go get the inside guys," Snotlout suggested to Steve. "We can take care of this lot."

And indeed, the dragon riders had control - demonstrated by Astrid, dived past on Stormfly, leading her dragon to pluck a man off Steve's shield, allowing Steve to stand properly and giving the enemy agent an early bath.

"Alright then," Steve agreed. On the screen, he gave a jaunty wave to the group of agents, who were hesitating to attack for far of being taken out by another mysterious blur, then walked off. "Nat, Clint - you coming?"

"We're taking another entrance," Nat explained. "Get Stark to come with - we don't need everyone just to keep a few guys occupied."

*Cuts it off there because otherwise it'd take me another five years to publish.* (Psst, know how you could make my christmas? Shoot a review my way!)