21.

Loss

And the moment he saw her back turned against him, he knew he had lost her.

Chapter 21:

Taking a drink from the beer Gray offered me, I looked around the dimly lit room, trying my hardest to look like I'm having fun in this dump. I watched my best friend stare at me with worry, and I had to look away. I didn't want to be here.

It was a bar with old used up furniture adorning the black and white tiles on the ordinarily open space in the middle, which they called a dance floor. It was pretty dark, with only a few flickering lights placed randomly on the walls. The bar stools were hard, and have probably been here for years now. The people happily danced though, still somehow unfazed by all the imperfections. Even though nothing in this place seemed cool, it was still somehow the most popular place in town. I guess once people found something comfortable, they didn't want to change it. I sneered at the irony.

I feel the same way about Lucy.

"You okay, man?" I heard Gray ask, and my pride silently thanked him for stopping me before my mind drifted to her again. "I know you miss her and all, but she needs her space. Okay, think of it this way: Lucy is just tired of your shit and needs to be alone. Once things have calmed down, you can go to see her, talk normally, and see what she thinks about what happened." His advice wasn't the best, but at least he was trying.

I looked at my friend. Gray has always been the one next to me. My better half. He always helped me when I needed it, and even sometimes shared his lunch at school when I forgot to bring money with me, or forgot the lunch mom made me at home. He was strong, independent, and most of all, here. He wasn't in the bathroom with a girl, making out, or dancing on the floor with someone, or sitting at home—which I knew was what he wanted to do right now.

But no, he was here.

I had called him the moment I got home, which is about an hour after the incident with Lucy occurred. I had walked home all dripping wet, and my mom was not happy at all. She yelled about the night I slept at her house, and how my future was probably going to be a disaster if I kept doing things like this. I felt dejected when my dad didn't even say anything to me, already giving up on his child. And even Wendy didn't want to talk to me, but instead called her friends over to celebrate her return home.

And I locked myself in my room, regretting that I ever proposed that game, or ever trying to confess my feelings, because I knew that I wouldn't be able to do it, and I just ended up hurting her the most. I was awful, and mean, and horrible, but I didn't mean it. In reality I love her so fucking much that I can't even stand it. So, I was just lying on my bed like a blob of misery and sadness.

Until Gray came over.

The poor man had to run here, and was all soaking wet when my mom let him in. He looked like he was just ran over by a bus, and I had to bit my tongue so I didn't laugh. Be he was a fucking bro. Ever since I could remember, Gray has been the one who tried to make me laugh when I wanted to cry. He might've acted like a total douche a lot of times, but that's just a joke. He's a really nice person who cares about his comrades. And that's why I respect him. That's why I called him.

So, when I explained the whole situation to him, he just looked down for a couple of moments, before getting all excited and telling me that he would make me forget no matter what. So, I had no other choice but to put on the white v-neck and an unbuttoned long-sleeved black shirt on top, and follow him to this bar. He wasn't ready at all, and I can still see some damn hairs on his head, as the droplets are illuminated by the lights in the room. And then I notice him still staring at me intently, not knowing what to say.

He probably wanted to crack a joke, or say something insulting, but he couldn't bring himself to do so. I left the empty beer mug on the counter, not bothering to order another because the barman was already refilling it. Gray swallowed down his drink as well, awkwardly staring at his shoes, probably regretting the fact that he didn't think this through. We both know that I'm not comfortable with this, and that he's not very laid back as well. "Let's ditch." He said, slamming down his empty glass along with a couple of dollar bills, which the middle-aged white haired barman took. I looked at him blankly, paying for my unfinished drink, before we both walked out of the suffocating room.

I marveled at the clean air, filling up my lungs with oxygen which wasn't 80% cigarette smoke. Gray sighed, looking around. There were people vomiting in the alleyway, probably having drunk too much. I never understood people who drink or smoke, because it was intoxicating to me. I could only stomach a beer or two, and it was curtains for me, because my stomach is weak. That's probably why I get motion sickness too, not that anyone knows about it…

Glancing towards my bro, I noticed that he started walking towards the nearest McDonald's. I followed him, and we entered the almost empty restaurant, which was normal considering the time being well over midnight. There was a couple of people ordering their sandwiches, and a few people here and there, enjoying their fattening meals on the tables scattered across the room. We sat down, ordering some fries, and a diet coke for Gray.

"This is really ironic." I mumbled, cursing myself for saying it out loud. Gray looked at me weirdly, raising a brow, as he chewed on his straw. I glanced around, knowing that there's no way to evade the explanation. "We were here a month ago, I think." I said, looking at the spot where Lucy was sitting with Jenny and Angel, and gray followed the direction of my stare, to look at the table which was now occupied by a middle aged, brown-haired woman, feeding her child a cheeseburger, as she shouted on the phone which she held in her other arm. She was clearly nervous, using the napkin to wipe the kid's ketchup-y face, while it desperately tried to reach a French fry from the bag.

"Do you know that woman?" Gray asked, still staring at said woman, as we watched her slam the phone down on the table in anger, before looking at her child. Her face softened, and she hugged the little boy, ruffling his hair, as she helped him reach the french fries.

"No. I wasn't talking about the woman." I clarified, but Gray was still not remembering anything, as I cleared my throat to remind him, "We were here some time ago, when I saw Lucy, Angel and Jenny sitting at that same table," I said, nodding my head towards the mother and child's direction, "And this place reminds me of her." I finished, as Gray whispered a curse word under his breath. He ran a hand through his hair, sighing in exasperation. I know that I shouldn't be saying this, and it will only make him feel bad, but I feel a lot worse. This is the place where I declared that I hate her multiple times. This was also the place where I followed her out, to hear her talk with her mom.

I miss her.

I fucking miss her.

"I didn't know, man. I don't remember details like that." Gray mumbled, as his look fell from that particular table, "Maybe we should just get out of here."

"I'm going home." I mumbled, getting up, as he also got up and we walked outside.

"Sorry man, I wanted to get her out of your mind, but I did the opposite." He said, scratching the back of his neck, and I could clearly tell that he was feeling very uncomfortable, even though it wasn't his fault.

"Nah man, if I was still at home, I would've called her by now, but I still somehow managed to keep my posture here."

"That's probably because I made you leave your phone at home."

I laughed lightly, which surprised Gray to the fullest, and he made the face a child makes when he finally catches his first butterfly.

He was proud.

After we said our goodbyes, I was back at my home, back at the room where I felt like a worthless piece of shit just a few hours ago. Time to finish what I was doing.

I let my body drop to the bed, feeling the soft material of my pillow underneath my head, as I stared out of the window. Clouds overpopulated the sky, and I couldn't see the stars, which lied completely hidden. The moon was partly visible, as you could clearly see it behind a transparent layer of clouds. It was about to rain, and I got up to close the window. Just as my hands were about to push the glass in place, I noticed something floating in the night's sky. It was red and blurry, and it was coming this way, because the wind was blowing towards me. I noticed that the indentified object was in fact a red helium balloon, and it was so close to my window, that I almost managed to catch it when it floated by. It was gone in a matter of seconds, probably being taken somewhere behind my house by the wind.

Glancing towards the now ripped scarf that was nearly torn down to shreds by the cars passing by on top of it, and the material being ruined to the point of no return, I don't know why I still kept it. I don't know why I took it. I don't know why I love it. Why?

I closed the window, and lied back down on the bed, as I played some music on my phone. I remember Lucy saying that she likes this song a lot, so I typed the name in, and played it quietly, so as to not wake up my parents and sister. And once I heard the beginning of the song, my lips curved into a smile, even though I felt no happiness at the moment.

It's a beautiful night,
We're looking for something dumb to do.
Hey baby, I think I want to marry you.

I inwardly sang the song in my head, imagining singing this to Lucy, and her smiling at me cutely, like she always does.

Is it the look in your eyes?
Or is it this dancing juice?
Who cares baby, I think I wanna marry you.

The scene played over in my head, and I instantly thought about wanting to just go and see her.

Well, I know this little chapel,
on the boulevard we can go,
no one will know,
oh come on, girl.

And why am I obsessing over her? I can fall out of love just as fast as I fell in love. Right?

Who cares if we're trashed?
Got a pocket full of cash we can blow,
Shots of patron
And it's on, girl.

Right?

Don't say no, no, no, no, no.
Just say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And we'll go, go, go, go, go.
If you're ready, like I'm ready.

Wrong.

Cause it's a beautiful night,
we're looking for something dumb to do.
Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you.

I love this girl.

Ripping out the earphones from my phone, I tossed the contraption somewhere in the room, not caring if I cracked the screen or not.

I need to go and see her.

And I need to do it now.

I slammed the door to my room open, not caring that it's nearly 2 in the morning, and that my family is asleep, because this is something that can't wait.

"Mom, I'm going out!"

"What?" The woman yelled from the bedroom, "Where are you going?"

"I've got a dare to do!"

Lucy's P.O.V

"No Levy, for the hundredth time, I will be completely fine by myself." I said to the blue-haired girl in front of me, which just refused to leave.

After I called to tell her about what happened, she came here as fast as she could, to talk to me for two full agonizing hours about how boys are idiots, and about how it took Gajeel weeks to ask her out before he got the courage. She lectured me about keeping my distance from him, which is exactly what I intended on doing. I was not going to talk to him after this.

"Well, if you say so…" She mumbled, still a bit hesitant about leaving, her left leg still resting on the inside of my house, even though the rest of her petite body was already out. "But don't call him or anything!" She shouted, and I nodded my head, hugging her and closing the door behind her, as I rested my head on the wooden surface of the object.

I don't know what happened earlier, and I'm not sure whether I want to find out or not. My eyes fluttered closed, as I pictured that heartbreaking moment when he shoved me off of him, and I fell to the ground. Even though I know Natsu hated me—or maybe even still hates me—I thought that he was begging to be a lot nicer than that. But now, I could see his real character swim to the surface, and I don't want to see it.

To be completely honest, I thought he was about to confess. I mean, the mood was right, and the words were spot on, but he just had to ruin it all, and make me feel dejected. I actually wanted him to say that he loves me, because I already know that that's the way I feel about him, and I wanted my love to be returned, but that doesn't seem to be happening any time soon, though. So, after the temper tantrum I threw, and even disposed of the scarf I bought for him with so much compassion and sympathy, I was ready to ball my eyes out, and ran away like a coward. I felt stupid for doing that, but it was my only choice at the time. I hid behind one of the houses in the neighborhood, and waited until he left to go back home, in a Natsu-free environment.

I waited for him to say it. I wanted him to say it! I even lied about having a person confess to me while he was with Lisanna just to try and make him a bit jealous and make a move! Ha ha, now that I think about it, I'm the horrible person here. I expected him to love me back while he probably has someone else he likes. Why did I even get my hopes up? I should've known that he didn't like me. But, whenever he said he hated me, or we had an argument, Natsu was always back. So, why isn't he here now?

And that's how I got here, in my bedroom, hugging the bag of chips Levy got me for 'comfort' as I gazed upon the sky, painted with numerous clouds which surrounded the area. Too bad, I was really looking forward to seeing the stars tonight, but I guess that's another fantasy that won't be happening today. I looked up at the moon which was barely even visible, and I knew it.

It's going to rain tonight.

I hate the rain with passion, because it always makes me feel a lot more depressed than I actually am, and I want to just turn on the sun and have a bright sunshine-y day. And as I stared from the window, I noticed a red balloon passing by, as this night's light wind carried it away from my house.

And just a few seconds later, little droplets of rain started falling down on the trees my father worked so hard to plant, on the streetlights I always stand under when I'm waiting for the bus, on the rooftops of our neighborhood's houses, and the asphalt where I threw Natsu's scarf, in the midst of raging over a simplistic matter. The rain was pouring in just mere moments, and it didn't seem like a good time to be out there right now, as people would often say 'it's raining cats and dogs'. The wind blew, as I got up to push the glass structure against the drops splashing on its surface.

I need to start closing my window when I sleep.

A/N: So many people were disappointed in the last chapter xD

Oh well, at least I'm fixing their relationships, right?

So, here's a clear vision of what their mind is telling them, and how their thoughts are progressing throughout the outcome of the last chapter. I hope I conveyed their emotions well.

Now, before I log off to finally take off the dress that's itching me everywhere, I have something I want to say:

-||I often try to start new stories, but seeing as I don't have enough time or inspiration to finish them, I only write like, one chapter. And I know that I'll never finish their stories, but I thought that some of you may want to use them. So, if you're reading this, and you don't know how to start a story on your own, I can send you one of my started stories, and you can use that as a model, or copy the exact same thing, and just finish it. So, if you want that, please write me a private message, and I'll get back to you.||-

And as you already know, I don't have an endless supply, so I won't have enough for everyone, and only the first four people will get stories, because I only have four. I had more, but deleted them before I thought of this.

Thanks for reading, leave a review if you feel like it! STORY IS ENDING IN ONE MORE CHAPTER, BUT IT WILL HAVE AN EPILOGUE. SO, ALL IN ALL, 23 CHAPTERS. THANK YOU.

~ With Keys, Through Flames! Aye! ~

End of Chapter 21.