October 21, 1962
"You need to find a balancing point between rage and serenity," Charles said.
Erik sighed and turned away from the satellite. The past few days had been exhausting, leaving little time for his own training. He'd seen Hank beat Charles in a race, Raven change into several people in the space of seconds, the Soviets draw closer to the line, and Lorna make considerable progress. He'd also shoved Sean off a satellite and then heard that Hank had invented a way to direct Alex's powers.
He'd met the joyous announcement of Alex's progress with a dry smile. He still didn't like the little punk.
"Anger's worked so far," Erik said.
"Anger isn't enough."
He gave Charles a bitter look. For the first time in a long time he wanted to punch his friend. His head was still throbbing from trying to move the giant satellite, and he wished that Charles would stop lecturing him.
"What else is there?" he asked.
Charles clasped his hands behind his back, perhaps to tell him something hopeful about the future.
"No Charles," said Erik, "What else do you suppose is holding me together right now?"
He shook his head.
"My parents are dead, my life has been uprooted and shattered," Erik said, "My wife is..."
He clenched the railing, staring at the satellite. Not a day went by that he didn't visit Susanna. Anya was keeping up her self-imposed duties and Susanna looked as though she was just sleeping. Her hair was perfectly combed and her face washed. It reminded him a bit of the stories that he used to read his daughters about Sleeping Beauty and Snow White.
However, no matter how many kisses he placed on her lips, no matter how many times he reminded her of his feelings, she remained gone. Charles had made several forays into her mind and come up with nothing. It truly was a blank canvas, her brain good for nothing other than regulating her body's breathing.
"Erik," Charles said, "Try not to think about what you've lost, but rather what you've had."
Erik just bowed his head, his nails scraping across the top of the rails.
"Here," said Charles, "Do you mind if I-?"
He gestured to his head.
"Go ahead," Erik said.
Charles put his fingers to his head. Erik wondered what it was that he would pick out. There were, he knew, good memories, and for a moment he saw an image of a menorah, its warm glow illuminating the room. His own hand lit the candles for the first and, as he found, the last time.
Then the image changed.
"To have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until death do us part," she said.
There was no hesitation in her voice, only honest sincerity. There was nothing insincere about her love. He found himself wondering yet again how he had managed to win her love, how he had the sheer nerve to claim such purity for his own.
It didn't really matter whether or not he deserved her, or whether or not she would be better without him. She was giving herself to him voluntarily and vowing to stand next to him. The vows should have been made a long time ago, and he was only angry that he hadn't had the courage to keep her then.
She turned her head towards the judge who, for the first time that Erik had seen him, smiled.
"For as much as Erik and Susanna have consented together in wedlock and have witnessed the same before this company, and thereto have given and pledged their troth, each to the other, and have declared the same by joining hands," he said, "Now, by the authority vested in me by the State of Michigan and the Office of the Court, I pronounce you to be husband and wife and extend to you my best wishes for a successful and happy married life together. You may kiss the bride."
Erik let go of Susanna's hands and cupped her face. He leaned in and kissed her. She was his second chance at life, a chance to do things over, to have something approaching peace. It was impossible not to want to hold onto that.
He let go of her face and let his hands enfold hers again. Next to him he heard the judge shut his book.
"Also, a personal thanks for granting me the honor and privilege of extending the marriage vows," he said.
Erik wanted to raise his eyebrows, but he decided against it. He supposed that the statement was just part of the official ceremony.
"Now, may I present Mr. and Mrs. Lensherr?" he asked.
Lorna let out a little squeak of excitement. Susanna smiled too. Finally, they were officially his.
He blinked and saw the lawn in front of him again. His face felt cold and he touched his cheek. Erik's fingers came away wet.
"What did you just do to me?" he asked.
"I just accessed the brightest corner of your memory system," Charles said, "It's a very beautiful memory Erik. Thank you."
Erik winced and bowed his head.
"I haven't thought of that day in a while," he said.
"Why not?" said Charles.
"It hurts."
Charles nodded. It was only then that Erik realized that there were tears on his eyes as well. His friend wiped them away.
"There's so much more to you than you know," Charles said, "Not just pain and anger. There's good too: I felt it."
Erik bit the inside of his cheek. It was a reproach, in Charles's way. They'd had far too many conversations about Erik's uncertainty about humans' reactions to mutants and his hate for Shaw. Susanna's conditions had overshadowed much of his anger at humanity, but they both knew it still existed.
"When you can access all that, you will posses a power no one can match," Charles said, "Not even me."
He hit him on the shoulder.
"So come on. Try again," he said.
Erik looked back at the satellite and clenched his teeth. He put out his hands and twisted his fingers. He could feel his hands shaking. The memory of his wedding and his mother's regard were swirling in his mind, but in the back of his mind he could feel the desire to avenge them.
At the moment, he was somewhere in between them. As soon as the thought struck his mind, he felt the satellite begin to turn. The grating, scraping sound filled his ears as the satellite suddenly faced them.
He let his hands fall down, grinning but exhausted. When he looked back he could see that Charles was smiling as well.
"Knew you could do it," Charles said.
Erik continued to grin. There was no way that Shaw could stand up against him now.
"I want you to know that you are lucky, in some ways," Charles said.
"How?" Erik said.
"Losing love like that, well, I can't even begin to imagine the pain that it caused," Charles said, "But nor can I imagine the joy that it would bring."
He scratched his chin thoughtfully.
"Actually, I think that I have some idea of that," he said, "I'd like to know more actually."
Erik raised his eyebrows.
"Moira?" he asked.
"Don't scoff," Charles said.
"Not scoffing," said Erik, "She's a hard-worker, efficient, official, optimistic, and diplomatic. You two could work very well together."
"Thanks," said Charles.
He leaned up against the railing. Erik wondered what was going on in his head at the moment: it couldn't be anything simple. There was too much strain in his eyes, too much struggle. Whatever he was thinking about wasn't particularly pleasant.
Erik rubbed his chin just as he heard rapid footsteps. He turned and saw Lorna hurtling around the corner, her arms pumping and her hair flowing freely behind her. Alex rounded the corner a second later, just on her heels.
He raised his eyebrows as Erik drew level with her. She gave him a look and then pushed herself further. Lorna reached the front door by a hair and Alex stopped, panting. Lorna turned around, throwing her arms into the air.
"I told you!" she said.
"Fine, you're faster than me," panted Alex, "Do you want a gold star or something, because I'm all out."
Lorna rolled her eyes and pulled her hair in front of her, exposing the side of her neck. She ran her fingers through it once or twice, evidently tired. Erik caught the look that Alex was giving her then, a sort of glowy awe.
That would be enough of that.
"Had a good run?" Erik called.
Alex started and Lorna swiveled. She waved cheerfully and began to jog over. Alex looked after her and did the same. Erik watched him the entire time.
"I bet Alex five dollars that I could beat him in a race around the mansion," she said.
"I didn't know you had five dollars," Erik said.
"I don't," said Lorna, "I just knew I would win."
Alex snorted.
"It was a lot closer than that," he said.
"Was not," Lorna said.
Alex playfully punched her, and she did the same back. Erik saw Alex wince when she did it though: Lorna had a difficult time moderating her strength. He hoped that Alex took that idea to heart and remembered it. There was no doubt in his mind that Lorna would be able to take Alex in a fight.
"That's one way to train," said Charles.
"Hey, I'm working with the energy vest too," Alex said, "I can make some pretty good shots now."
"Maybe we can do target practice next," said Lorna, "I need some new shoes."
"Think you're tough enough for that?" Alex asked, smirking.
There was a strange pitch in his voice that Erik hated. He narrowed his eyes and glared at him. For the first time though, Alex didn't look away. He just swallowed and tilted his chin upwards. The brat was being defiant.
Perhaps he needed to use some of his new-found abilities to fix this.
"Hey!"
Thoroughly irritated, Erik turned around. Moira was hanging out the window, looking at them.
"The president's about to make his address!" she called.
Charles leaned away from the railing and began to walk. Erik fell into line next to Lorna, refusing to give Alex any recognition.
You could give the poor boy a break you know.
Erik rolled his eyes.
I will do nothing of the sort, he thought.
Charles opened the door to the manor and they walked inside.
You seem to judge him rather harshly, Charles thought, He hasn't really done anything wrong other than that first day, and I'll admit that was bad-
He's brash, arrogant, cocky-
Cocky and arrogant are the same thing, thought Charles.
They're different, Erik argued, He's a punk, and I don't want him ogling my daughter.
He's hardly ogling her, Charles thought, More like hopelessly staring. I believe he might genuinely feel something for her, and is just unsure how to express that. You can't blame him for that.
I can and do.
Erik, I'll repeat, Charles thought, You're being too harsh. If you just stopped and tried to get to know him, I think you'd like him. He's been through a lot, and he's almost defiant about wanting to change his life. In fact, he's rather like you.
Erik gritted his teeth.
Which is exactly why I don't want him near my daughter.
This time Charles did look over his shoulder. He turned around, opening the door to the living room.
I meant it when I said that there was more to you than you thought, Charles thought, Susanna knew it too.
Erik didn't respond. He didn't know if he could.