Note: Hi dear readers, I'm so sorry for the huge delay. I'm leaving town for my new study in less than a week and i've been so busy preparing that I didn't really have the time to write. I'm so sorry. Thanks to those who reviewed the last few chapters, and I hope you will enjoy this chapter as much as usual! xx.

21. 19 Down

Vartann passed the hallways without looking for the person he wanted to. He hadn't been talking to Catherine after their brief meeting a while ago, but he could feel something had changed between them. They had passed each other in the hallways a couple of times since, and he'd noticed Catherine wasn't trying to look away anymore; their eyes always connected briefly. Lou knew it didn't mean a lot, but it seemed to be a good step in reconciling their relationship, as far as that would be possible. When he turned a corner, he saw the group of csi's sitting all together, discussing a case probably. He saw Catherine sitting, her back facing him. A sigh escaped from his lips without really noticing. He missed her. He missed Catherine a lot.

"Lindsey was once given a gift certificate for a pair of customized jeans.. So we go to the store, we spent two hours picking out the wash, the rib bits, you name it, and she has her boyfriend's name embroiled on her back pocket. Well, guess what, she breaks up with the guy a week later. She doesn't wear 'em once."

"Still beats a tattoo, right?" Catherine smiled and thought for a split second about the man sitting next to her. Gil was her best friend. The man who'd always helped her in the past. She felt bad about him leaving. She didn't want him to go. She wanted him to do what was best for him but having him leave was rough on her. He was her best friend.

"Oh, don't go there. In any case, the sneakers were definitely a custom job. We got a warrant for the customer records. "

Vartann seemed to pass every single room Catherine was in that day. This one was no exception. While she was searching stuff on the computer with Gil, he was again looking at her back. Lou knew he needed to see her some time between now and a couple of hours. He wanted her. He needed her. Even if all he got was a small smile or a little detail of what she'd been doing, he would be happy. He wanted it all but for now, he woud be happy with a little.

Catherine accidentally bumped into Lou a few hours later when she entered the locker room. The first thing she noticed wasn't the fact that her body was in contact with Lou's, but the fact that he smelled. And not in a good way. Their situation suddenly seemed so normal and while their bodies were still touching and Catherine's hand lingered on his as she said: "God, where have you been… You smell."

"Well it's nice to see you too, Catherine. I was in the house of the victim.. He was covered with insects. And it smelled. And now I smell too." A look of disgust graced his face as he spoke those words.

Catherine chuckled as she said: "You should take a shower, it really smells bad."

Lou nodded. "I know, I know. It's disgusting. Dirty little animals." The two smiled, both temporarily forgetting their awkward relationship at that moment.

There was silence for a while after that, before Catherine realized her body was touching Lou's. What surprised her was the fact that she wasn't bothered by it. Instead, she felt herself longing for more. She knew that, if she was going to ask the question she wanted to, a lot of hard conversations would be coming up. Conversations she'd been dreading every since he had reuturned. But she didn't want to give up on Lou. She still wanted to be with him. She scraped her throat lightly before she said: "You.. You want to come and have a drink at my place after shift? After you've taken a shower that is, of course."

Lou couldn't help the slight butterflies that were flying inside his stomach as he walked up to Catherine's porch. He was nervous. He decided not to think too much and just ring her doorbell as soon as he stood in front of the door. They would be talking that night, and hopefully, it would end in a good wat. Catherine opened it not too long after his knock. He noticed that Catherine had changed after work; she wore a pair of tight jeans with a green top. He loved green in combination with her reddish hair and pale skin. Catherine smiled at him, and to his relief, he could tell that she was nervous as well. He smiled back while they both said "Hi," at the same time. Catherine chuckled and closed the door behind the man. Both felt slightly stupid, as if they were a couple of teenagers on their first date.

While Lou hung up his coat, Catherine walked to the kitchen as she said: "What do you want to drink? Wine, beer, coffee… Something else?"

"Coffee's fine, thank you." Lou appeared in the living room and sat down on the couch while he waited for Catherine to return. The house hadn't changed too much. There were a few flowers in vases. A new picture of Lindsey graced the wall. Everything else was still the same. She came back with two full cups of coffe and Lou noticed she stopped walking when she saw him sitting on the couch. He could tell she was doubting about where to sit. She bit her lip. Lou ran a hand through his her before he said: "Cath.. Come sit here, please. I don't bite."

"I know. I'm afraid I will though."

Lou didn't ask Catherine to explain her comment while she sat down on the couch next to him and handed him his coffee. Lou knew they both felt uncomfortable and decided to break the ice a little bit as he said: "So, I heard you talking last shift to Grissom. Something about Lindsey and a boy... I didn't eavesdrop, I swear." He raised his eyebrow, and Catherine smiled, not caring about the man eavesdropping or not. Talking about Lindsey was a safe subject and she was happy he'd brought that up. "Yeah, that's a while ago. There was a boy in her class she liked, and dated. She was excited for about two weeks and then got bored with having a boyfriend, so she broke up with him. Which is a good thing, because she's way too young to have a boyfriend."

Lou chuckled. They both took small sips of their hot coffee, while Catherine wondered about what to say. She knew she had to talk to Lou about all the things that had happened during his departure. She didn't want to. But she knew she would feel uncomfortable as long as she wouldn't tell him. She took a breath before she said: "When I walked away that night, you know, when you found me in that diner, you said I had to tell you when I wanted to talk. I… I do want to talk to you about the time you were gone. A lot happened when you were gone… I'm not proud of how I've done things and I really wish we could've just continued as if nothing had ever happened.. But I can't."

All Lou could do was nod, while he waited for Catherine to continue. He was slightly prepared for her words, he just hoped they wouldn't hurt.

"I was devastated when you left… I thought I could handle living apart from you, but having you near me had become such a big part of me.. I missed you. You weren't gone for that long when my dad died and.. Well, you know what happened. I understood –I still do,- that you weren't able to be here, support me, during that period. I wasn't able to get to you either so we're both to blame on that. But your calls got less regular and we constantly called each other when the other wasn't there… I don't know how it happened but at some point, I felt as if I had lost you. And then Michael came. He… He replaced Gil when he was on his sabbatical. Mike and I.. We didn't do anything wrong, so you can dismiss that thought immediately."

That last sentence took a huge weight off of Lou's chest. He knew she could've kissed the guy all she wanted, it had been her perfect right to do. But from what he had heard, Keppler had been quite a nice man. He was glad the relationship between him and Catherine hadn't been more than just co-workers. Perhaps co-workers who did feel something more for each other, but never got the chance to do something about that.

"But he did make me feel alive again for some reason. Mike was an incredible man, and I'm sure you don't want to hear this… But I do think that if.. If he hadn't died, something would've happened. When I realized that, I realized something was wrong between the two of us. I…"

Catherine wanted to continue her sentence, but Lou cut her off when he placed his finger on her lips. He knew his voice wasn't anything but a whisper as he said: "Cath.. I know you want to be honest. But I think we both know we did things wrong. I know we have to talk about the past couple of years but what I really, really need to know is if you still love me. If you want to try and start things over again. I really need to know that at this point because.. I love you, Catherine. I miss you. I need you. All I really want is hold you, kiss you and make love to you, and I know we have so many things to talk about. But I know we can make us work. As long as you love me too."

Catherine wasn't prepared for Lou's little speech, and Lou was a little astonished by the words himself. Despite her prior speech in which she'd said she couldn't continue as if nothing had happened, she knew she wanted him closer to her just as much as he did. Her throat seemed dry but she did manage to say: "I never stopped loving you."

Their eyes met and in less than a second, Catherine moved a little closer to him. He slowly brought his hand up to cup her cheek, and was relieved when Catherine didn't flinch. Catherine closed her eyes before she said: "I know I said I couldn't continue as if nothing had happened. But right now I really want to kiss you. I really, really want to.."

She didn't have any time to continue her sentence. Lou's lips captured hers in the middle of it, and a huge tingle went down her spine. His tongue pressed against her lips, asking for entrance. She parted her lips immediately. Their lips were still connected when Catherine moved herself so she sat on his lap. Their tongues dueled while her hands moved in his neck and his were stroking her back. Their touches were soft and smooth and both felt as if things were, at that very moment, absolutely perfect.

Both knew their problems weren't solved. They knew as well that nothing more than kissing would happen that night. But it felt so good to finally feel each other again that both knew they were able to resolve their issues. Even if it would mean taking baby steps into the right directions.

Note: I bet you liked that kiss, huh ;-)! Hope you enjoyed it! xxx.