Invasion Insanity
"Okay here we go again!" Bobby yelled as he iced up and slid on his ice toboggan towards the first invaders. "Boy this town gets invaded more times than Florida during spring break!"
"WHAT?" Mrs. Grey shouted. "WHAT DID HE SAY?"
"THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE?" Mr. Grey shouted.
"Guys it was on the news last year," Sarah gave them a look. "How could you forget that?"
"Mom, Dad not now," Jean groaned. "Go inside the mansion, I need to go to work and I mean now!"
"Dr. and Mrs. Grey come with me," Roadblock escorted the humans and Madelyne into the mansion as the others prepared to fight. "You too girls! They ain't going to have tea!"
"Synch! Husk! Wolfsbane, Psylocke!" Xavier ordered. "Take Penance and Forge as well into the lower levels and defend them in case they get in! And get Ms. Hunter too."
"Got it!" Betsy nodded as she grabbed Xavier's chair handles. "You can direct the battle from inside Professor. Don't think our psychic energy will work too well with this lot anyway!"
"Yeah and what am I going to do? Bark at the machines?" Rahne grumbled as they went inside.
Penny whined. She wanted to fight. "Not this time," Forge grumbled as he dragged the energetic pink mutant away. "OW! PENNY THAT HURTS!"
"Let's go!" Althea shouted conjuring up a huge tower of water from the pool. She blasted it at several invading ships dousing them. "I hosed 'em down Iceman!"
"And this will cool them off!" Bobby yelled as he froze them. Three of them fell to the ground with a loud crash.
"For the finishing touch..." Peter armored up and hit them with all his might. Fred hit them too and they shattered to pieces.
"I call that the Siberian Slam," Peter grinned.
"All right!" Fred whooped. "This is gonna be fun!"
"Yeah it's gonna be a ball!" Shane groaned as he fired on the machines. "GET OFF MY PLANET ALIEN SCUM!"
"See you're getting into the spirit of things," Pyro told him. "We'll barbecue these aliens in no time!"
"Hit 'em hard and hit 'em fast and don't get cocky!" Fury shouted as he loaded his laser rifle. "I'm calling for backup!"
"Looks like they're calling out the land troops too!" Captain America noticed that some of the ships configured to land vehicles with long legs.
"Then we take 'em down!" Logan shot out his claws.
"How about this?" Lance focused and created a huge tremor that knocked back several land rover machnines several feet. "Oh yeah! Let's rock!"
"Again with the rock puns," Wanda rolled her eyes.
"Good Avalanche," Logan snapped as he dodged some lasers. "Now can somebody do something about the freaking jets or whatever the hell those flying things are?"
"I'm on it!" Rogue flew up and used her super strength to tear one apart.
"Yeah let's take these aliens to school!" Roberto shouted as Firestar flew with him.
"But this is a school," Fred blinked.
"Just shut up and fight Blob!" Logan roared.
Off in the distance the alien attack was not unobserved. Mayor Chandler looked out the window and saw people screaming, giant explosions going off and huge alien ships zooming around the area where he knew the Xavier Institute was. "Not again!" He moaned. "Why do aliens have to attack my town? Wait, that's a stupid question! Here's a better one! Why did a group of mutant nuts have to move to my town! And here's an even better question...Where the hell is my scotch when I need it!"
Another pair of observers were Officers Toody and Muldoon from a safe distance in their squad car. "Another alien invasion huh Muldoon?" Toody blinked.
"Yup," Muldoon blinked.
"And it's at the Xavier place again, isn't it?" Toody asked.
"Yup," Muldoon nodded. "It is."
"That's what? The second or third one these past three years?" Toody asked.
"Fourth I think," Muldoon said. "I lost track a while ago."
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
"You uh, think we should do something?" Toody asked.
"Did you call it in?" Muldoon asked.
BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOOOOOOOM!
"Well...I would think they kind of know by now," Toody said. "It's pretty loud."
BOOOM! KABLAMMMMMM! BOOOOOOOOOM!
"Yeah kind of hard to miss that," Muldoon said. "Lot of explosions aren't there?"
BOOM! BOOM! POW! KAPOW! BANG!
"Yeah," Toody nodded. "Lot of explosions. So did you put in for a transfer yet?"
"To Miami? Yeah I finished the paperwork this morning," Muldoon said backing the car away. "No mutants or aliens there. Well aliens from outer space anyway."
BOOM! BOOM! BLAM! ZOOM! ZOOOOOOOM!
"Drug dealers, spring break party animals, drunk drivers, protestors, crazy old people..." Muldoon listed. "But no mutants. Sounds like paradise."
BOOOM! POW! BLAM! POW! BLAM! KAPOWWWWW!
"You know if we start driving now, we might make it there by oh...Tomorrow night?" Toody asked.
"Sooner if I use the siren all the way," Muldoon hit the siren and the squad car took off.
The mutants hit with all they had. Tabitha created dozens of time bombs and gave them to dozens of Multiple clones which used slingshots to hit them at the ships that landed on the ground. "Oh yeah! Just like a shooting gallery!" Tabitha whooped.
However her glee was short lived when suddenly the remaining ships created some kind of force field around them so that the time bombs exploded harmlessly. "You have got to be kidding me!" Tabitha yelled.
"No fair!" Jamie yelled.
"Bedlam! Use your powers!" Scott ordered. "They should work on these things!"
"All right!" Jesse shouted. "Finally I get to do some damage!" He concentrated and sent out a huge anti-energy wave that caused two ships to explode. "YES! Wait a minute..."
Just as instantly as the two ships exploded, the pulled themselves back together. "Come on!" Jesse tried again but the same thing happened. But this time it happened faster. "You gotta be kidding me! What gives?"
"Friend Beldam's powers only work on non organic material," Warlock explained. "Technarchy is made up of both organic and non organic. Both are equally combined in harmony so if one part fails, the other takes over."
"And that means what in English?" Jesse asked.
"Your powers will only slow them down not destroy them," Warlock explained. "Until they find a way to counter act your powers."
"In other words I'm uselsess again!" Jesse snapped. "I have had it! I mean it's bad enough I barely have enough control over my powers and people tend to over look me during all the other crazy stuff that happens here but come on!"
"Well my powers aren't exactly helpful in this situation either but you don't hear me whining about it!" Dead Girl snapped. "Wait a minute, if that's true then what the hell am I doing out here? "
"You're already dead! What more can happen to you?" Jesse snapped.
"I really don't want to find out," Dead Girl gulped as they dodged a laser.
"Bedlam keep trying anyway!" Scott ordered. "Dead Girl you can go inside the mansion with the others!"
"I am out of here!" Dead Girl ran for her afterlife to the mansion.
"Can I go too?" Pietro asked.
"Just keep running and fighting!" Althea snapped.
"All I can do is run!' Todd screamed as he hopped away from lasers. "HELP! HELP! I'M CALLING FOR HELP HERE!"
"You guys are such whiners it's pathetic!" Wanda snapped as she hexed two flying ships and made them crash into a land ship which resulted in a huge explosion. "Do we girls have to do everything around here?"
"If you wouldn't mind," Pietro gulped as he ran from more lasers.
Meanwhile Jean was flying around using the Phoenix Force to her advantage. "I don't believe it!" She snapped as she tore apart one ship using her telekinesis. "I don't believe it! Why is it that every single time we have a special occasion or something close to a normal day, some nutcase or alien menace has to ruin it?"
"Just one of those things I guess," Ray said as he tried to use his powers to blow up a land machine.
"Every single freaking time!" Jean was furious. "WHY IS THAT? HUH? CAN SOMEONE TELL ME WHY STUFF LIKE THIS ALWAYS HAS TO HAPPEN? WHY CAN'T SOMEBODY ELSE GET INVADED FOR A CHANGE? IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?"
"Hey Jean watch it!" Lance ducked as Jean tore into a ship near him. Parts rained down on him. "Blast the aliens! Not me!"
"Calm yourself Phoenix," Ororo said as she flew next to her. "We don't want another situation like New York City again."
"I AM CALM!" Jean snapped. "And I know, I know! I am trying to control it as best as I can! Back off!"
Jean saw the shocked expression on Ororo's face. "Storm I'm sorry," Jean sighed. "It's just…all I wanted was a nice quiet afternoon with my family. And what do I get? A recreation of 'War of the Worlds'? I mean it's enough to tick anyone off!"
"I know Jean," Ororo sighed.
"Is it really that much for me to want to spend one day with Madelyne and my family?" Jean growled as she saw an alien ship head toward her. "One day. One lousy day! Not even a full day! An afternoon! One lousy afternoon!"
"Uh…" Ororo gulped as she saw the Phoenix manifestation around Jean grow bigger and brighter. "Jean?"
"One stinking, rotten, lousy afternoon!" Jean roared. "With no craziness or maniacs or bigots or aliens attacking us! Is that too much to ask? Is it?"
"Uh oh," Lance gulped. "I don't like the looks of this."
"You just had to come invade us today didn't you?" Jean roared at the alien ships closest to her. "You had to ruin my afternoon didn't you? I get so few precious moments with my family as it is and you had to come here and destroy us didn't you? SO NOW I GET TO DESTROY YOU!"
With a scream she used the Phoenix Force to literally disintegrate three alien ships in the air. "DIDN'T ANYONE TELL YOU THAT WHEN YOU PLAY WITH FIRE YOU'RE GOING TO GET BURNED?" Jean screamed.
"JEAN!" Scott shouted.
"Whaaaa…?" Jean blinked, immediately regaining control over herself. She saw the tiny residue of the disintegrated ships in the air. "Sorry, I kind of lost it a little there."
"You think?" Ororo gave her a look.
"Don't be too sorry," Logan shouted to her. "We're still fighting for our lives here!"
"If that's a little out of control I'd hate to see a lot!" Kurt gulped.
"Okay everyone lay off of Phoenix for a while," Althea gulped. "She's got a lot on her plate today."
"Unfortunately so do we," Tabitha pointed as more alien ships appeared in the sky. "More big baddies at twelve o'clock!"
"Uh maybe I'd better hold back a little?" Jean gulped. "I don't want to run out of energy."
"Just a tad," Ororo told her. "Focus on your telekinesis and not the powers of the Phoenix Force."
"That way we might all have a chance of surviving this!" Lance yelled as he used his powers on another land machine.
"The good news is they seem to be focusing on us and not the town," Scott noticed as he kept blasting the invaders.
"How exactly is that good news?" Kurt yelled. "They're attacking us first because we're the biggest threat to them!"
"Yeah and once we go down the entire town will go down easier than Paris Hilton after she's had a few drinks," Tabitha groaned as she sent more time bombs at the alien machines. "OH COME ON! AT LEAST PRETEND THAT YOU'RE ANNOYED OR SOMETHING!"
"Cyclops," Althea gulped. "They're adapting to our powers pretty fast. A little too fast!"
"Maybe I can short circut them?" Kitty yelled. She tried to phase through one but was bounced back. "What the...I can't phase through!"
"Oh once the Technarchy encountered a planet filled with beings who could do what friend Kitty could do," Warlock explained. "They learned to adapt to that techinque."
"NOW YOU TELL ME!" Kitty yelled as she ran from several laser blasts. "HELP!"
"THAT'S WHAT I SAID!" Todd yelled. "HELP! HELP! I'M CALLING FOR HELP HERE!"
Amara, Roberto, Pyro and Angelica blasted the alien machines with their fire but found it did very little damage. "Burn you stupid machine! I order you to burn!" Amara yelled as he fire powers didn't even dent the land vehicle attacking her. "THIS IS TOTALLY NOT FAIR! BURN DAMN YOU!"
"Hey what gives?" Pyro snapped as a few land vehicles simply strolled through the firewall he put up. "That's a firewall! That's supposed to stop them! Why isn't it stopping them?"
"My electricity isn't working either!" Ray shouted as he tried to zap the machines without success.
Jubilee was having a hard time as well. "All our powers combined and all we can do is barely slow them down!"
ZZOOOOOMMMMMM! CRASH! SLAM! WHIIZZZ! PLOP!
Something crashed into one of the machines and bounced off it. That something was Sam. "Oooh...Lookie at the pretty ponies Ma..." Sam lay there in a daze. "And there's lions and tigers and bears and oh my unicorns and dragons all over the place."
"Cannonball!" Jean warned. One of the land machines looked like it was about to step on him. "WATCH OUT!"
"One little, two little, three little dragons..." Sam was still dazed and confused. Jean used her telekinesis to knock the machine back and lift Sam out of harm's way. "Oooh! I'm flying! Look I'm Peter Pan!"
"Okay Canonnball you're out of the fight," Jean rolled her eyes. "Nightcrawler take him inside!"
"Good idea," Kurt teleported and grabbed onto Sam. Then he teleported back into the mansion with his injured friend.
"Come on! Come on!" Angelica flew around trying to use her powers. "Heat doesn't work on them!"
One ship simply headed straight for her. Angelica couldn't fly completely out of the way in time. "AAAHHH!" She was knocked to the side and lost her concentration. She fell to the ground.
Only to have someone in red and gold flying armor catch her. "Who are you?" Angelica asked.
"Iron Man," He replied. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah just got the wind knocked out of me," Angelica breathed and regained control. She managed to take flight again. "Thanks for the save. I don't get it! My heat rays should have worked!"
"Let's try good old fashioned missiles," Iron Man shot out some from his wrist. But they had no effect. "You have got to be kidding me!"
"You have any more ideas?" Angelica asked.
"Uh flying away sounds good right about now," Iron Man gulped.
The ship he fired on headed straight towards them. But it was knocked out of the sky by a giant hand. "Need a hand?" A huge man several stories tall in an orange and red uniform with gold goggles waved to them.
"Took your time getting here, Giant Man," Iron Man snapped.
"Hey the wife had to make herself pretty," Giant Man quipped.
"Sure blame me!" A tiny voice said. To Angelica's surprise a very small woman with short black hair, tiny wings and a black and gold uniform flew by her. "I'm not the one who spent two hours in the bathroom this morning!"
"Stop bickering and get 'em Wasp!" Iron Man shouted.
"What can she do?" Angelica asked.
"I'm stronger than I look!" Wasp told her as she sent out a powerful electric charge at one ship that downed it.
"Show off!" Carol Danvers a.k.a. Warbird flew by. She barley dodged a broken piece of spaceship. And got hit by another piece. "OW! Watch it!"
"Sorry!" Rogue was flying around trying to tear one ship apart. "Thing keeps patching itself up every time I tear a piece out!"
"Great! You again!" Carol grumbled as she tackled another ship. "Every time our paths cross I get hurt!"
"I said I was sorry about the last time!" Rogue snapped. "It ain't my fault Lucas messed with my mind!"
"I was knocked out for an entire day!" Carol snapped.
"And it was a nice quiet day too," A muscular African American man in a silver and red costume complete with red wings flew by. "Now shut up and fight the aliens instead of each other!"
"Bite me, Falcon!" Carol snapped as she attacked the ship she was fighting. "And stay out of my way Rogue!"
"You stay out of my way!" Rogue shouted back.
"Don't tell me what to do!" Carol tore a piece from the ship and tossed it at Rogue.
"HEY!" Rogue barley dodged it. "Don't you throw that crap at me!" She tore a piece from another ship and threw it at Carol.
"WHY YOU LITTLE!" Carol dodged it and furiously started to throw more ship pieces. "Take that you Southern Fried Chicken!"
Rogue responded in kind. "Take that you Yankee Bimbo!"
"I had to sign up for this crazy outfit," Falcon grumbled as he flew around trying to dodge the pieces of spaceship both Rogue and Carol were tossing at each other. "Couldn't have just stayed in the city where I was really needed. I was happy protecting the old neighborhood from drug dealers and other scum of the earth. But nooooooooooo! I had to listen to Captain America! I had to go on to bigger and better things."
The sky grew dark and stormy. "Keep it up Storm!" Logan roared as lightning flashed.
"It's not me," Ororo told him.
"It's him," Captain America pointed to another figure flying.
"Perish invaders!" Thor shouted as he used his hammer to summon a huge bolt of lightning. He threw the charged hammer at one machine and it split it in two. The hammer flew back to his hand.
"Show off!" Fury shot at one land vehicle. But it did nothing. "I really hate it when lasers don't do anything!"
Pietro grabbed him out of the way. "Thank you for riding Quicksilver Express!" Pietro quipped. "Please return all tray tables to the upright position!"
"That's not funny, Quicksilver!" Fury snapped.
"Yeah and neither is that!" Pietro pointed as the land vehicle sent out a strange tentacle to the rifle Fury dropped. It was turned into the same black and gold material as the machine and absorbed into it.
"What the…?" Fury asked. "AAH!" He was startled as Doug ran by in a strange black and gold uniform.
"Do not fear! It is only Self!" Warlock popped his head out, making it appear that Doug had two heads.
"New fashion statement?" Pietro asked.
"Self thought it was wise to protect friend Douglas," Warlock explained.
"And I appreciate it," Doug told him.
"What the hell is that?" Falcon landed next to them.
"One of the Technarchs," Fury explained. "But this one's on our side. I think."
"Hey!" Iron Man was in trouble. One of the air ships had shot out tentacles and grabbed him. It was trying to absorb his armor. "I could use some help here!"
"I got ya!" Rogue flew over and grabbed him.
"No, I have him!" Carol grabbed him as well. "He's my team mate! Let go!"
"You let go!" Rogue tugged at him.
"No you let go!" Carol yelled.
"Somebody better let go!" Iron Man yelled. "You're hurting me more than the alien! OW!"
The two women managed to yank him free but Iron Man had no choice but to let go his helmet. It got absorbed by the ship. He barely managed to make it to the ground. "That hurt…"
"Hey don't I know you?" Todd hopped over to him. "You look like that Tony Stark billionaire guy."
"I am that Tony Stark billionaire guy," He grumbled. "So much for secret identites."
"What the hell is going on?" Fury glared at Warlock. "You wanna explain why those ships seem to feed on a diet of metal?"
"The primary tactic is to absorb as much machinery and data as possible in order to incorporate it into the Phalanx," Warlock explained.
"So what you're saying is missiles and lasers and machines don't work on 'em?" Fred asked.
"Correct," Warlock nodded. "Observe." He pointed downtown where some alien machines had wandered off to. They saw dozens of cars, traffic lights and anything else made of metal was being absorbed. People fled for their lives from the chaos.
"Okay…" Pietro gulped. "This is bad. This is really bad!"
"Very bad for me," Peter instantly changed back into his human form. "Now what do I do?"
"Running's a good idea!" Todd yelled as he hopped past him.
"Captain I don't think it's a good idea for you to use your shield," Fury said.
"Or Wolverine and X23 to use their claws!" Todd thought.
"Oh great!" Logan grunted as he and Rina were surrounded by several machines. "Now you tell us!"
Suddenly they were surrounded by a force field just as the machines attacked. They were lifted up in the air. "Whoa!" Logan yelled.
"Don't worry!" Sue Storm of the Fantastic Four yelled as she used her invisible force field to take them to a safer location and let them down. The Fantastic Car landed next to them. "I've got you guys!"
"It's the Fantastic Four!" Lance shouted as they got out of the vehicle.
"Don't forget your friendly neighborhood Spider Man!" Spider Man waved his hand as he popped out of the back of the Fantastic Car.
"It's like a freaking super hero convention," Todd looked around.
"What are you doing here?" Angelica asked.
"Funny story," Spider Man said. "See Torchy and I were chasing after the same pair of crooks when…"
"We can chew the fat some other time, Wall Crawler!" Ben interrupted as he pointed to several space ships heading for them. "Right now it's Clobberin' Time!"
"Let's go!" Scott yelled. Everyone used whatever powers they could to blast them. Some of them could actually do some damage to the alien craft.
"It's not hard to blast them with my powers," Scott shouted.
"Yeah it's getting them to stay blasted that's the trick!" Bobby yelled as one of the blasted invading machines pulled itself together.
"Well this was a smart idea," Spider Man grumbled as he tried his webbing on the machines but it barley slowed them down. "Whoa!" He jumped out of the way of a laser blast. "Why did I show up here again?"
"Watch and learn how a real hero handles things Spidey!" Johnny flamed up and used his fireballs on the machines. Of course the fire balls bounced off the machines harmlessly. "Huh? What the...?"
"Uh heat and fire doesn't really work on them," Angelica explained as she flew by. "Our powers are usless on those things."
"NOW SHE TELLS ME!" Johnny screamed as he barely dodged a laser blast.
"Now what oh great and mighty hero?" Spider Man mocked.
"Shut up and let me think!" Johnny snapped.
"We're gonna be here all night if he has to think of a plan," The Thing grumbled as he threw a tree at the machines. It only knocked them back a little.
They used as much of their powers as they could but it didn't seem to be working. They had no choice but to retreat for a moment to the Institute lawn. Jean and Sue used their powers to create a force field around the mansion. "It's like nothing we do can stop 'em," Lance grumbled.
"Even we can't do anything," Trinity had flown in to help as well. "And we don't know what to do."
"They're adapting their attacks so that our powers are less effective," Jean yelled.
"Look at what they're doing to the lawn!" Sam yelled as several ships were absorbing trees and hedges.
"I did not mention the second tactic," Warlock explained. "The absorption and assimilation of all organic life form into the Phalanx."
"Uh when you say absorption and assimilation…" Pietro held up his hand.
"Exactly what is sounds like," Doug told him.
"O-kay…" Pietro gulped. "Definitely not good here!"
"Let me get this straight," Kurt said. "We can't touch them now or we'll get absorbed."
"Correct," Warlock nodded.
"And our energy based powers are pretty much next to useless against them as we've seen," Scott added.
"Also correct," Warlock nodded.
"So how do we beat them?" Lance asked.
"By stopping the lead mind," Warlock said as he slid off of Doug and into his humanoid form. "Self's Father."
"How do we do that?" Althea asked.
"You do not," Warlock said sadly. "Only Self can. Only by reprogramming his attack strategy will he stop. But he could reprogram Self first. That is the way of our people."
"Let me see if I get this straight," Lance held up his hands. "Basically your race's whole fighting style is to see who can reprogram the other first?"
"Essentially that is correct," Warlock nodded.
"WELL THEN WHY THE HELL DON'T YOU DO IT?" Logan roared.
"But how can Self fight Father?" Warlock asked. "How does one prepare to 'beat up' one's own parent?"
"It's surprisingly easy," Wanda told him.
"Listen Warlock, think of it like this," Althea held onto his misshapen shoulders. "You fight and stand up to him, we may all live and Earth has a chance to be saved. You don't fight, Earth is doomed and all your new friends are toast. And by toast I mean dead. You know as in no longer breathing? Not existing. Alien robot chow. Any of this getting through to you?"
"Self knows this but…" Warlock sighed. "It is still hard to even think of fighting Father for me."
"Okay try this," Althea sighed. "Besides the whole killing and taking over planets thing, what is the one thing your father has ever done to make you angry. I mean really angry! Did he ever say something completely stupid or destroy a favorite toy or something?"
"Well…" Warlock blinked.
"Come on there's got to be something!" Wanda said.
"When Self was young self had found a Rygerian hound youngling," Warlock said. "Self played with it for over an hour and cared for it…Before Father found me and assimilated it."
"He ate your dog yo?" Todd's jaw dropped.
"And I thought my father was strict," Pietro blinked.
"And how did that make you feel?" Fred asked.
"Upset," Warlock blinked. "Very upset."
"Just upset?" Althea asked.
"No…angry…" Warlock's eyes narrowed. "Very angry. Very, very angry! 468 was Self's hound youngling. Father had no right to assimilate it!"
"That's right," Wanda nodded. "Feel the burn! Embrace the dark impulses!"
"Trust me she knows what she's talking about," Pietro nodded.
"Warlock ready now," Warlock's eyes blazed red with anger.
"Here!" Daria gave him some hardware. "These might help you. They're complicated ciphering devices and codes we've been working on."
"Yeah by absorbing them into your system you might have an edge," Arcade nodded. He took off his own personal ciphering device from his belt. "Take mine too. I can always make another one."
"And last but not least take these," Todd gave Warlock a disk and some kind of memory card. "I was gonna give these to the Elf later but…"
"What are they?" Warlock blinked as he read the label. "Action Replay..?"
"It's a game cheat disk and memory codes," Todd said.
"WHAT?" Kitty yelled.
"Well they're useful!" Todd said. "Besides he's already got a game cube in his system. It couldn't hurt."
"You have got to be kidding me," Scott gave him a look.
"Well they work," Todd said.
"They do," Angelica agreed. "Especially when you're playing Harvest Moon Magical Melody."
"Oh yeah you gotta need them for that game. I mean each day is only ten freaking minutes? Please! It takes that long just to feed and milk the cows and water two or three plants. Let alone do any decent fishing, mining and gift giving," Bobby agreed. Everyone gave him a look. "I like the dating part of it okay? And I gotta admit the horse racing sim is pretty cool."
"Toad, Iceman, shut up," Scott snapped. "Before you make us look like bigger idiots!"
"Too late," Johnny quipped.
"I'm just saying…" Todd began.
"Just take the damn thing and go!" Logan groaned.
Warlock nodded. Jean and Sue let a small hole loose in the force field and he poured himself through. He took a breath and cried out a challenge. "CRREEEEEEEEEEEEE! CREEEE! SKRRAAAK! CRRRAKKKKK! CREEEE!"
The machines stopped advancing. Except one. It morphed into a huge three story robot killing machine. "Gulp…" Warlock blinked.
The machine let out a roar and morphed into a lava like form of black and gold metal liquid and poured itself over Warlock. "This is not good is it?" Todd gulped.
"No, I don't think it is," Fred gulped.
For many moments the liquid like metal writhed and formed. Lights blinked out from it's form as it twisted and turned. Finally Warlock kicked himself out of the metal monstrosity and it let out a huge screech. It started to reform into something. Soon it was gone.
And in it's place was a puppy. A black and gold metal puppy. But a puppy nevertheless. "BARK!"
"What just happened?" Kurt asked.
"I think we won," Scott blinked. "Or Warlock won."
"Well we're all alive," Bobby said. "And we're not alien chow. That's a good thing."
"This is without a doubt the weirdest alien invasion I have ever seen," Fury groaned. "And to think I thought nothing could top the time the Snarks invaded with those robot Santas last year!"
"Okay what just happened?" Jean asked as she let down her shields.
"Basically Self reprogrammed Father's mind," Warlock explained. "Old Father has been terminated. Now there is new father."
"Wow, talk about irony," Fred blinked at the barking metal puppy.
"Hold on, let me get this straight," Wanda said. "You brainwashed him. Am I right?"
"Correct," Warlock nodded.
"And that's your definition of killing?" Wanda yelled.
"Well that is how Technarchs normally terminate each other yes," Warlock blinked. "Did Self not explain this concept before?"
"No, I think we would have remembered if you had," Scott gave him a look.
"How did you beat him?" Doug asked.
"Self had reason to beat Father," Warlock explained. "Friends to protect."
"Wow and that gave you the strength to beat him?" Kitty asked.
"That and the Action Replay codes Friend Toad gave me," Warlock said. "They really do work!"
"Told you," Todd grinned.
"I can't take this…" Fury groaned.
"So you mean you're the new king?" Todd asked.
"Yes, Warlock is now leader of the Technarchy," Warlock nodded. He looked at the small black and gold metal puppy. "Father and Self will have to have a long 'talk' before I restore him. Then together we will teach our people the error of their ways."
"You think they'll go for it?" Kitty asked.
"They already have," Warlock explained. "Warlock is now linked to the minds of all his people. All of the Techarchy was liked with Father during battle. Now that Self is how do you say the phrase? Large and in charge…They will bend to my will."
"But isn't that…" Kurt began.
"Dude, shut up," Ray looked at him. "Now isn't exactly the best time to be arguing about ethics!"
"Yeah we saved the planet and the Phalanx will become good guys," Todd remarked. "That's enough for one day!"
"Self will miss all Self's new friends," Warlock told them. "But Self now knows that staying on Earth is impossible. Self has a duty to fulfill. To help the Technarchy control the Phalanx."
"I'm gonna miss you Warlock," Doug said.
"I'm not," Logan grumbled. Rogue elbowed him. "OW!"
"Farewell my friends! Self shall never forget you!" Warlock waved as a ship moved close to him. He absorbed himself into it. The ship took off into the sky taking the rest of the fleet with it.
"Well that was definitely weird," Tabitha remarked.
"Hey at least we saved the world again," Bobby said. "You know using team work…"
"What team work?" Johnny the Human Torch spoke up. "The wall crawler here didn't do anything but jump out of the way!"
"Oh yeah and you did a lot Torchy?" Spider Man snapped. "Especially since you found out your fire couldn't affect it!"
"My flames can affect you! Wanna see?" Johnny snapped.
"Bring it on Matchstick Boy!" Spider Man challenged.
"Those two kind of have a rivalry going on," Sue explained to the others.
"Who doesn't have some kind of rivalry with the Human Torch?" Pietro snorted.
"Boys no! No fighting on the lawn!" Ororo snapped as both Spider Man and Johnny started to face off.
"Storm I don't think we even have a lawn left," Scott told her.
"Well we saved the world using our courage anyway," Bobby added sheepishly. "Even though half our guys were knocked out or ran away."
"Don't forget my cheat codes!" Todd called out.
"I need an aspirin," Scott groaned.
"You have any extra?" Fury asked.