YAY! I have 100 reviews first time i've had triple digits :D thank you to everyone that has reviewed it does mean a lot.

usual warning for spelling and grammar, i promise that after this chapter and the next (maybe the next depending how I write it lol) it will get happier :P

Balthazar didn't say anything as he came in at eight that morning, he looked exhausted and run down, he collapsed onto the sofa and fell asleep. Memories haunted his dreams. Before long the key in the door woke him up like a shot, he sat up and watched as his family file into the living room, all dressed in there smarted shirts and cleanest slacks, they joined him on the sofa and greeted him like a brother, their dad came in and greeted him as an enemy. He threw Balthazar a look that could kill and knowing him probably has, he huffed as he went to the kitchen to open another bottle of scotch.

Cas and Gabe sat either side of him and Michael in the arm chair they talked for a few minutes before hearing their fathers pre drunken rabbles and thought it best to turn on the TV, they fell silent as a film came on. After a few moments Balthazar's mind was still working over time, replaying the memories he had hidden for so long, and he couldn't stop him self from leaving the room and walking down the hallway, he stopped at the door.

When he opened the basement door and the smell instantly hit him, he felt like fainting as he staring into the dark room that stole his innocence.

Suddenly he felt someone behind him and heard breathing, cold dead breath hit his neck, Balthazar couldn't breathe he really thought he was about to pass out. Mr Novak stood behind Balthazar for a few moments, after seeing his son was unable to move, he smiled as he put and arm to the wall and lent into Balthazar peripheral vision. Balthazar made note to stare right ahead and not to cry, not in front of him.

The man stood there for a moments just staring at him. His evil eyes, that were a horrible mud brown, dark and uncaring his eyes matched his soul. They burnt into the side of his sons head, despite his best efforts a loan tear fell down his uninjured cheek this made his father chuckle his evil disturbing laugh. He lifted his hand to the nape of his eldest sons neck and squeezed it hard he knew he was in complete control, he liked that.

He opened his mouth to speak words that only the devil would understand, only the devil could excuse the profanities and vulgar thoughts that were about to spill from his mouth, as that evil glint in his eye shined. Gabriel wondered through and was shocked at the sight before him.

"Dad?" he asked but it was more of a way of alerting his father of his presence and to make him stop what the was doing, their father's hand fell heavy by his side as he looked to Gabriel, who physically repelled slightly when he caught sight of the evil that lay in his eyes, it scared the boy. Mr Novak rolled his eyes,

"When are you going back to fucking college boy?"

"I only go back for exams, then, the summer begins." Mr Novak huffed as he stepped back and turned he spoke over his shoulder as he reached the kitchen.

"I hope you're not expecting to fucking come back here over summer."

"Wouldn't dream of it." Gabriel mumbled to himself before walking over to Balthazar who was still frozen where he stood, eyes wet and puffy slightly. All Balthazar could do was thank god his dad did get to speak his mind, because he knew he wouldn't have been about to take it, that he couldn't have handle it, that he really would have broken down. Gabriel looked to his brother and touched his arm, the contact pulled Balthazar back to reality and he looked to his younger brother and smiled slightly as another tear fell, before looking back to the basement. Gabriel reached out and shut the door; Bolly closed his eyes as he did his heart nearly stopped dead as he heard the click and the lock turn.

"Come on." He whispered to Balthazar as he led the way back to the living room, as they got to the door, Balthazar's phone started to ring he gestured to Gabe he would be in, in a minute and he was left alone.

When Bolly looked down and saw who it was his heart leapt so high he felt the beat in his tongue. He answered the phone and was hardly able to breathe as he raised his shaky hand to his ringing ear.

"Mark, hey didn't expect your call."

"I know."

"I'm, glad you did."

"I know."

"Sorry I left this morning I just couldn't, you know, it's hard to,"

"Say good bye?"

"Yeah, especially to you."

"Is what you put in this letter 100% true?" Mark hated that he had to ask this but he had to be sure, Balthazar got so angry at the question he was shaking, the first person he tells the person that he's closest to doesn't believe his heart dropped slightly, as he angrily told his friend down the phone.

"No, lied I spent the last five years on the moon eating cheese with the clangers, of course it's fucking true."

"So you love me?" Mark asked quickly, now Balthazar understood the question, he had almost forgot he put that in, silence fell. "B?" Balthazar turned to face the wall and admitted his feeling out loud for the first time.

"Yes okay, that's true too." The hour long second of silence filled Bolly's heart with dread until he heard what he never thought he would again.

"I love you too." Both men were giddily smiling down the phone and laughed a little with relief.

"So what now love?"

"Well you have one of two options, either you pack your bag leave, that house and come over to stay with me right now, or I come over and drag you." Bolly smiled he loved the idea but he new it was a fool that dreamt of better when there was no way of escaping, not this time, not yet.

"I would love too, but I can't."

"B you have to get away, I am not letting you stay in that house."

"What about Cassie? I can't, I won't leave him alone."

"Bring him too. I have a spare room, and if he's running away after graduation it's not like he'll be here long anyway."

"Exactly it's not for much longer." Bolly's rational mind interjected, he knew how Cas would feel. But really his heart leapt he couldn't believe what he was hearing Mark wanted both him and Cassie with him, Mark wanted to save both of them

"B, one day in that house is too long. Please."

"I can't."

"Please." Mark sounds so desperate and god damn adorable Bolly sighed he knew he was defeated.

"I'll speak to Cassie, I'll phone you tonight." It wasn't a yes but it was the next best thing.

"I love you."

"You too, bye." As Bolly put the phone down he smiled to himself, for the first time in a long time he felt all bubbly inside, did he feel happy?

"Talk to me about what?" Bolly jumped and nearly dropped his phone as he heard Cassie's deep voice intrude in the silence, he was so shocked he didn't have time to feel hurt by the eves dropping.

"Oh god Cassie don't do that, you have me a heart attack man."

"Bolly what's going on? Who was that on the phone? Are you leaving again?" Cas was obviously confused and he didn't like what he heard and Bolly hated what he saw, Cas started to shake and tears started to form,

"Come here." he pulled his little brother pulled him and enveloped him in his arms. "Cassie listen to me, what ever happens I am not leaving you okay. I will look after you."

"Then who was that on the phone?"

"That was my friend Mark. He wants; he wants us to live with him."

"What? why?" Cas looked up to his brother and stepped back slightly as he listened to what Bolly had to say.

"I kind of told him about dad. Now he doesn't want us here."

"You told someone?" he wasn't sure he had heard this right, Bolly doesn't tell people, Bolly doesn't invite people in.

"Yeah."

"He must be pretty special."

"Smart too, I think he has a point."

"We can't just leave Michael and Gabe. And what about dad, we can't just leave him on his own."

"Cas dads a big boy, he can take care of himself. Plus Michael's only here for family dinner he had his own place and Gabriel's only here for a bit when he's not at his mums or college. It's only us that are here all the time, come on Cassie. Haven't you had enough of him?"

"He's our dad; he doesn't mean it when he looses it." Balthazar hate the Cas defended his dads action, but he also didn't know how far his actions have gone.

"Cassie you have no idea what he's capable of." He told his brother very seriously.

"neither do you." Cas told Bolly, he Bolly got hurt, a lot. But Cas got damaged on a whole other level. His brother had no idea how that can hurt more that a well aimed hit with the car. As Balthazar heard his little brother say this, his mouth fell open and his heart shattered, he recognised that knowing tone in his voice, that same fear and anger with a back drop of shame in his eyes, it was in Bolly's for years after what happened, no it couldn't, his father wouldn't have. Not to Castiel. Not to him.

"Castiel…" his voice was shaky, but Castiel's was firm as he continued.

"I'm his son, Bolly. I'm not leaving him he needs our help and our love. He's sick."

"Yes, but he's not ill Cas he sick the head, he's twisted, he's drunk and down right evil."

"I know." Cas sounded like he was close to tears, by god he knew the evil that lurked inside that man. "But that's when he needs us the most. I will leave but not before its time, not before I have to. I do hate him Bolly, but I still love him."

Before Bolly could respond to his brother there was a loud smash in the kitchen which silenced the two brothers in the hallway, as well as the two in the living room that were engrossed in the film on the TV they had just begun to argue about it when the smashed echoed through the room. The noise was soon followed by an angry slurred shout of a man that was too drunk for mid day and who's anger that went beyond all reason.

"Balthazar! Get your ass in here and clean up your mess!" with a nod to Cas and a deep breath in Bolly made his way to the kitchen. Hardly anytime had past before, the sound of the young man hitting the floor travelled throughout the house, and the sound of Mr Novak's boots in Bolly's ribs rang in everyone's ears as he sobbed silently from the pain. the brothers knew there was nothignt hey could do that wouldnt make it worse.

the injured young man stayed curled up in a ball until his father had passed out on the table; it took him a while to stand due to the shooting pain coursing through his body. He reached the stairs and saw Cas peering from the living room door way.

"Yeah, he's just sick." Balthazar told his little brother as he wiped blood from his mouth, he desperately needed to talk to Cas about what was said earlier but he was in too much pain and needed to rest, he would have put money on the notion that at least two ribs were now fractured. And by now Cas was back in the living room. Balthazar sighed "It's not his fault." Bolly quoted his baby brother, as he gingerly made his way up the stairs hold his side trying to stop the pain.

Cas sat on the sofa, he was angry at his dad for making it so hard to love him, angry at Bolly's defiance and mostly about how he knew his brother was right, they did have to get away. Cas was scared that Bolly wouldn't last much longer, he had already lost weight in the short time he was there and that bright cocky smile he wore at the beginning of his visit had near enough vanished and was replaced with that old, forced, painful grin he used before he left. Cas was scared Bolly was fading back into that terrified battered mess he was when he left, whic hwas alonst as terrifying as the propect of him leaving, Cas couldn't see Bolly like that, again but he couldn't surive if he had to see him leave, again.

"Castiel." Michael spoke softly as he saw his brother's worried and sad expression.

"What Happened?" Gabe asked now worried too, as he moved closer and put his arm around his little brother that looked close to tears. Michael moved from his chair to his knees in front of Cas.

"Are you alright?" What was the point in lying Cas thought it wasn't obvious he wasn't, so he shook his head as two tears fell Michael wiped them away. "Tell us everything."

ooooh so the secret of the extent of the abuse is becoming unravaled between the brothers :O lol

when i wrote that "he felt like fainting as he staring into the dark room that stole his innocence." i would like to state that, yes bolly was a virgin when this happened to him, he was struggling with his sexuality all through his teens and found something speacial in mark, when they both admitted there feelings and shared one beautiful kisse together. Bolly went home and told his dad- you know the rest. i thought i would tell you as i dont know if i can put that into a chapter but i thought you should now. thats why i think bolly and mark are so sweet and i aw when i write there scenes becasue there still in love :D when they have only had one kissed before not seeing each other for so long awww lol. any way enough of my rambles :P

please review xxx