Here's chapter 21! Not as great as I thought it would be, but I have better ideas for twenty-two, and…

Flames are appreciated.

DISCLAIMER:

I own nothing except my OC's and this plot line.

Chapter Twenty-One: House of Struggle

Fabian's POV:

It had been a week.

A long, painful, sleepless week.

Nina had been treated appropriately at St. Mungo's, and had been cleared by the hospital to go back to Hogwarts. My parents, as well as Albus', were both very disappointed in us for leaving school and going on a wild goose chase across the country, but they were also impressed with our resourcefulness and the fact that we saved her.

Joy's fate was a completely different story.

I heard her father was rocked with guilt every single second of every single day, ever since that night. Serves him right, I thought.

Not that I was doing any better.

I kept having nightmares of those last few seconds with her - how I was as good as dead, then she jumped in front of me to save us…

And she said she loved me.

"Idiot," I muttered. I just kept repeating it. "I. Am. An idiot."

Her funeral was enormous. The entire school was there, even though no one really liked her too much. People from Anubis House School came as well, and that just implied that everyone wear Muggle clothing.

I still couldn't get over it.

Neither could Albus or Nina.

Al and I had talked a lot about it over the course of the week - he felt extreme guilt for those last words he'd shouted at her, and he said they were always in his head, repeating themselves.

Echoing.

They held a memorial feast for her, right before we were to take our O.W.L.s. I didn't really feel like eating, so as soon as I was done with what little I had put on my plate, I excused myself and went outside, sitting on a rock right in front of the Black Lake, looking out over it. Occasionally I'd toss stones into the smooth water, watching a tentacle from the Giant Squid lob them back at me.

Mostly, I was thinking.

Or wallowing in pity, for that matter.

After about twenty or so minutes, Albus joined me.

"I know you loved her," he said quietly, taking a seat on the grass next to my rock. "I'm sorry, Fabian. I really, really am."

"Thanks," I replied. I honestly didn't know what else to say. There was a hollow feeling in my chest and the pit of my stomach. I missed her.

I missed Joy.

I loved Joy, but I was too blinded by my love for Nina, and now Ashlie, that I didn't realize it.

"I'm so stupid!" I exclaimed, throwing a particularly large stone very aggressively into the water. Luckily, the Squid didn't throw back. "I should've done something!"

"What could you have done, mate? If you'd pushed her aside, you'd be dead. Then she'd be the one in pain. We all would. Even Nina."

"What do you mean?"

"She feels guilty about this too," he continued. "I've been talking to her about it ever since… And, you know what? I think you need to talk to her, too. You both know what it's like to love and lose. I don't."

"Huh?"

"Her parents. They're dead! Remember?"

I just held my head in my hands. "Can you get her, please?"

"Of course. See you later."

He got up and left.

Not so long after, I felt a light tap on my shoulder. It was Nina.

"Hi," she said softly. "Do you want to talk about it?"

I nodded slightly, moving over on the rock so she could sit next to me. She did, and it was then that I noticed how tired she looked.

"Have you been getting any sleep lately?" I asked hesitantly.

"A bit, here and there," she answered, sighing.

Poor Nina, I thought. I know we've all had our own worries over the past few weeks, but ever since she got back, I can't stop thinking about Joy. I know what she went through was the most traumatic experience of her life… I should be paying her more attention.

"About Joy-" She cut me off, holding up her index finger.

"You loved her," she stated plainly. "And you still do."

I tried to read the expression on her face. It was neutral.

"Nina… Nina, I'm sorry, I-"

"It's fine. I'm with Albus. I'm happy. Not that I wasn't happy with you, Fabian, but…" She paused. "There was always some part of me that thought you still loved Joy."

I felt awkward. Not taking my eyes off of the scarlet-and-gold ribbon fluttering in her hair due to the breeze, I continued talking.

"I'm glad you're happy, Nines. I am too… With Ashlie…" I looked up into her eyes. "But, I don't know - it's hard, you know? Wondering about something that might've been."

Her face fell. "I know exactly what you're talking about, Fabes," she whispered.

"Your parents," I said quietly. She nodded. "I'm so, so sorry."

"It's okay. We're here to talk about you, not me."

That's when I lost it.

I just started crying, letting everything out that I've been holding in for as long as I can remember.

"Shh, Fabian… It's alright. Everything's going to be fine. You can cry…" I vaguely heard Nina whispering soothing things to me as I cried into her shoulder.

Well, this is a change, I thought. Normally I'm the one comforting her… Weird… But she's just so nice. She gets me.

I don't really know what happened after that, other than the fact that I'd gotten up and left, saying thanks and heading back up to the castle.

I needed time alone.

Nina's POV:

Getting up and walking across the grounds back up to the school, I was met by Albus.

"Hi, Al," I said, kissing him. "What's up?"

"Sibuna meeting!" he exclaimed, grabbing my arm and pulling me into the castle. "Come on."

I was confused. "There's a Sibuna meeting? Since when?"

"Since Amber announced it about ten minutes ago. Everyone else is already in the Room of Requirement."

We arrived at the room, the door awaiting our entrance. Stepping inside, I felt a wave of familiarity wash over me.

"It's our old room," I said quietly. "Mine and Amber's."

Seeing Amber, Patricia and Mara all sitting on her bed, and Jerome, Alfie and Mick on the floor, I walked over to her.

"What's this?"

"I was homesick," she replied, smiling weakly.

Now that I thought about it, I realized I was too.