Softly Awaken
Chapter Twenty One
*****
….But those who plan what is good find love and faithfulness.
Prov. 14:22
*****
"So how have you been?" Abby asked John, trying to sound casual.
"Fine," John replied curtly.
"Keeping busy?"
John swallowed back the urge to snap at her. He hated the courtesy of it all. They had broken up. Why did they have to pretend that nothing was wrong? He looked up and shrugged. "I'm finding things to do."
Abby nodded absent-mindedly. "Great." She paused, as there was an awkward silence, and wracked her mind for something witty to say. But there was nothing.
"I have a patient to see," John said tiredly.
Abby looked up at him and plastered a wide smile on her face. "Okay," she chirped. "See ya later." She raised her hand slightly and gave a half-hearted wave good-bye.
Oh God.
Abby rolled her eyes at that pathetic display of hidden guilt and remorse. She knew that breaking up with him was the right thing, but she had no idea why he could make her feel so wretched about it. Everytime she was around John now, only one two-word phrase came to mind - 'I'm sorry'.
"Abby, you're needed in exam 4?" Haleh bellowed.
Abby nodded and began to make her way to the unknown patient, with, she was sure, a disgusting task for her to clean up. "Yeah," she sighed, shuffling down the busy hallway.
What is wrong with me?
~~~
"So what's with Carter and Abby?" Chuny smirked at Susan, subtly pointing at the Chief of Staff and the Head Nurse who had been keeping their distance from one another.
Susan pressed the patient chart in hand, against her chest as she stood in the hallway, quietly studying the stiff, professional manner in which the couple were addressing each other. Now that she thought about it, Abby and Carter had definitely been giving off tense vibes whenever they were in close proximity to each other. Even in the trauma rooms their exchanges were short and abrupt.
"I'm not sure," she said coyly. "But you're definitely right; something's up with those two." Susan furrowed her brow and spun around in the opposite direction, towards Exam 2. She closed her eyes and shook her head. She could not get involved...
Susan exhaled slowly and looked down at her patient chart. Complains of dizziness and chest pains. As she walked towards her next patient, Susan tried to focus on the diagnosis at hand, but found her thoughts drifting.
I wonder if Luka knows?
~~~
"So you guys are over now? Kaput?"
John grimaced, and then glared appreciatively at Susan's sensitive way of labelling his and Abby's break-up. "I guess you could say that..."
"Wow," Susan breathed. "I thought you guys would make it." A ponderous expression appeared on her face. "You guys seemed really solid."
John let out a ragged breath. "You and me both." He took another bite of his club sandwich. "But I think I'll get over it. I mean, I feel better after talking with Deb about it. She kept me from freaking out over it more than I could have."
Susan looked intrigued over this information. "You talked to Deb about this?" she drawled. "And what did she say about your break-up?"
John frowned as his close colleague and friend leaned in, as if he would be spilling some state secret. "Not much," he shrugged casually. "She pretty much told me to suck it up and that it was probably just one of those 'first fights' between a new couple."
Susan raised her eyebrow in askance. "Has she been hanging around the ER for the past month or so? In fact, was she not here when you guys got together?"
"What do you mean?"
Susan cleared her throat, appearing hesitant to clarify her previous thought. "Uh, well...I'm just saying...well, that you guys were already fighting in the beginning." She popped a rippled chip into her mouth, raising her hand a moment, signalling for him to wait for her to finish.
John rubbed the bottom ledge of his lip, waiting to hear what she had to say.
"Well," she sighed, taking a sip of water from the clear plastic Evian bottle near by. "You guys never did agree on much. I mean, you fought about her drinking, which you were right about; but honestly John, I don't think you guys have ever seen eye to eye on anything."
"You're wrong..." Susan stopped his protest short, looking knowingly at him. He paused a moment to think back to the beginning of his relationship with Abby. They did agree on some things...but never on major issues. John licked his lips. "I...I guess you could be right," he stammered, stunned at the thought. John couldn't believe it.
"But if you noticed this, then why didn't you say anything?"
Susan looked at him as if he had just told her that he was a bird or something insane like that. "Are you nuts?" she cried. "As if anyone is going to tell you anything about your choice in women." She shook her head in mournfully. "You know we don't get involved in messes like that. It wrecks the whole 'co-worker relationship' thing that we've got going here..."
John smiled ruefully at her attempt to lighten the mood. "Right," he said sarcastically. "That completely slipped my mind!"
Susan sat back and relaxed, allowing her shoulders to droop while her whole body to slouched in the plastic framed chair. "Look John," she sighed, waving at him with a chip in hand. "Sometimes things don't work out the way we plan. Look at my life. I moved away, expecting to live this wonderful, perfect life...and now where am I?"
John folded his arms across his chest, trying to discern what Susan's point was and how it pertained to his situation.
"The point is...even though I never expected to come back to County - and never wanted to - I did. Couldn't be helped. I didn't think I would be happy, but you know what?" Her blue eyes twinkled. "It's really not that bad. I actually think I might even be happy to be back."
"But what does that have to do with me?"
Susan rolled her eyes. "Look, this break you and Abby are on? It's happened and nothing is going to change that now." She leaned in towards John again. "But...maybe it's something, when you gain some perspective, that you'll come to realize is for the best. Like I did when I came back to County."
John stared out the cafeteria window, where there were several cars driving by, in their usual hustle and bustle of life. He blinked a few times, as if it would help him process the advice and perspective his former girlfriend had doled out right then and there, and turned his gaze back towards Susan. "You maybe right," he smiled half-heartedly. "But I don't think that whole 'perspective' thing is here yet."
Susan shook her head. "Oh yeah, of course not," she blurted out. Then with a sympathetic smile, she squeezed his hand. "It's going to take time...or the right woman.."
John frowned at her last thought. He had 'apparently' chosen unsuitable women for himself in the past and he wasn't sure there really was a 'right' woman out there for him. Especially now, since he was feeling like nothing would ever go right in that department, John was certain he didn't know what 'right was anymore. If he didn't know now, what made her think that he would ever get it right...
~~~
Jing Mei felt like everyone was staring at her as she made her way towards her next patient. The slight whispers, and odd glances made her feel uncomfortable. What could they possibly be talking about?
She ran through the possibilities and her thoughts always came back to her non-date. Jing Mei stiffened at the thought that Bobby had announced to her co-workers that she had either done something with him - childish as that would have been - or the truth; she brushed him off for a phone conversation. This idea irritated her. Jing Mei knew for a fact that Bobby hadn't stuck around for an explanation, so there was no way he could possibly have known that she blew him off for a night of pizza at John's place.
Jing Mei scowled as she pulled the exam curtain back, revealing her next patient. She was riled up, unable to shrug off the offence Bobby had charged her with. In hindsight, she knew that it was a mistake to date the young resident. The maturity level of male med students and residents was sorely overrated.
Screw him. What a jerk!
Jing Mei suddenly laughed out loud, realizing how absurd she sounded. She shook her head and groaned. Men. They were a lot more trouble than they were worth...sort of.
~~~
Luka woke up to the warm, mid-afternoon sun showering him in a soft blanket of light. He groaned as the cheerful rays seeped between his long lashes as he tentatively opened his eyes a bit. The couch he had sprawled out on after his 12-hour shift, felt lumpy, as it did its best to wake him from his heavy slumber. Slowly Luka forced himself from his make-shift bed, first sliding one leg off the black couch, and then the other, until he was kneeling beside his coffee table. He needed caffeine.
~ * ~
Knock knock.
Luka took one last big gulp of coffee before he set down the large coffee mug on his kitchen counter. He furrowed his brow as he tried to figure out who would possibly stop by during the middle of the day. Most of his friends...well, what he would call friends, were working at County right now. "Who is it?" he bellowed, as he ambled over to the industrial steel door.
"Uh it's Stephen?" a familiar male voice replied.
Luka turned the deadbolt, and slid the metal chain from its resting place; when he opened the door a tall Asian man stood in the hallway. "Hi!" The inflection in his tone revealed his surprise at Stephen's unexpected visit. "H-how are you?" he asked, motioning him to enter the studio flat.
"I'm good," Stephen chuckled. "I hope I'm not bothering you?" The former patient of County General seemed uncomfortable standing in his apartment.
Luka frowned, dismissing his newest friend's anxiety. "No. I've been up for a while," he smiled. "Just trying to get the internal clock adjusted to another 12 hour shift." Luka motioned for Stephen to have a seat on the nearby couch. "Do you want some coffee? I just brewed some a few minutes ago."
Stephen hobbled over to the couch and sat down. "Sure, that'd be great," he chirped. "I...I bet it's busy after that fire last night?"
Luka glanced over his shoulder and saw Stephen flipping through a car magazine. As he poured the coffee into the mug, Luka sighed. "Yeah. It was pretty gruesome." He set down the coffee pot and cautiously balanced the cup of hot liquid over to the couch, setting the mug carefully on the coffee table without spilling a drop. "So what's happening with you?" he asked casually, taking another sip of his topped off liquid addiction.
Stephen leaned over and picked up the hot black beverage and gratefully sipped the steaming drink. Then he rested the mug on his lap and shifted uneasily on the couch. "Well, uh Jennifer insisted I come over in person to do this," he sighed mournfully. "But we were wondering if you'd like to come over for dinner at my parents' tomorrow night?" He raised his brow hopefully. "I know it's short notice, and I'd totally understand if you had other plans, but Jen and my parents insisted I extend the invitation."
Luka thought about it a moment. He was reluctant to accept the invitation, knowing that it would most likely be formal and uncomfortable for the most part. Luka had never met the Chens', and it was an arrangement that he could live with. He didn't like intruding in other people's lives if it wasn't necessary.
"I...I don't think it would be a great idea," Luka hedged. "I don't even know your parents and I'm sure they probably would much rather spend time with you than some strange doctor."
Stephen arched one eyebrow and snorted. "You don't know my parents." He paused and shrugged. "I understand your hesitancy, since you don't know my parents at all; but Jen and I will be there, as well as Jing Mei...so you won't be completely abandoned."
Luka smiled faintly. "I've heard stories from Jing Mei though," he joked. "And I'm not sure you wouldn't be bringing them a new toy to play with, so that they wouldn't be so focused on you."
Stephen seemed to consider that option for a moment and then shook his head. "Now I would buy that story if the offer was coming from Jing Mei, but Jen and I aren't that cruel...besides, my parents like me!" he laughed.
Luka couldn't help but laugh at his off-kilter sense of humor. "Will I be the only guest that isn't a part of the family?" he asked suspiciously.
"No," Stephen shook his head. "They've also invited John."
"And is he bringing Abby?" Luka asked curiously.
Stephen tilted his head and stared oddly at Luka. "Would that matter?"
Luka suddenly realized what it sounded like - his asking about Abby's attendance - when in fact, he was thinking of not attending if Abby arrived on John's arm. "O-of course not!" he blurted out, trying to sidestep the imminent discussion about Abby and what affect her presence would have on him.
"So does that mean you're coming?" Stephen eyed Luka subtly. "Because either way, I'm guaranteeing a fun evening of 'Grill the Guest', and maybe even a few hands of poker if the night's still young!" he grinned mischievously.
Luka rubbed his neck uncertainly. "I don't..."
"C'mon," interrupted Stephen. "It can't be that bad...I know you're that 'brooding loner type', but a guy's gotta get out of his bachelor apartment sometime?" He nudged Luka with the magazine that was in his hand.
"All right," Luka breathed, surrendering to Stephen's subtle prodding. "I'll come. What time is it at?"
Stephen smiled triumphantly. "Great. Uh, I think the girls have said 6:30?" He pushed himself up from the couch, throwing the magazine onto the coffee table. "I'll see you tomorrow then," he quipped.
"Great," Luka said drolly, as he walked Stephen to the door.
"The girls will be pleased with me," Stephen muttered out loud. He turned and glanced wickedly at Luka. "Maybe I'll even get my favorite dessert tonight, for chasing down another guest."
Luka rolled his eyes. "Keep talking like that and I won't show up," he warned, wagging his finger at the upbeat doctor.
"Too late!" Stephen bellowed, half way down the hallway.
Luka shook his head in disbelief. What had he gotten himself into?