Author's Note: Hehe, I love this...

The Story of the Third Seo

Seo blamed the dress. First and foremost.

Okay, actually, she blamed the whole regeneration. But the dress had to be the clincher. How had she not made that connection when she was drawn to it?

From the moment Seo had regenerated for the second time, the moment she'd emerged into her third body, she'd been drawn to bright things. Cheery things! Bright red dresses and silk scarves and stuff like that.

Jenny hadn't seen anything wrong.

"For the millionth time, you look fine," Jenny had muttered. "Now can we please get out of the wardrobe and back to our duties as STP?"

Seo squinted in the mirror. "But what do I look like?" she insisted. American accent, this time. "Come on! I wanna know!"

"You look different," said Jenny, grabbing Seo by the arm. "That's what regeneration does. Now let's get moving!"

Seo knew, of course, that she was blond. And more abrupt than in the past. She found herself way more prone to flying off into a rant when confronted with heartless idiots who sold out their planet for personal gain.

"You selfish jerk!" Seo shouted at one such guy. "You twisted, stuck-up little freak! What the hell gives you the right to decide who lives and who dies?"

She barely restrained herself from punching him in the jaw.

But aside from all that, Seo hadn't actually noticed anything was really wrong with the regeneration until one fateful trip to Earth's past. When she'd saved a teenage girl from being eaten by a hell demon, without ever knowing that that girl happened to be the Slayer.

The Slayer stared at her, eyes wide. "You… you ripped his head off," the Slayer breathed. "With your bare hands."

Seo looked down at her hands. Winced.

"Look, I'm sorry," Seo tried. "It's this body — I just get really passionate this time around. I'm not always so… in control. Know what I mean?"

The Slayer didn't.

"What are you?" the Slayer demanded, backing away. "And what do you mean, 'this body'?" The Slayer drew out a sword. "You're a demon, huh? Possessing humans and—"

"Oh, come on!" Seo shouted, irritated. Threw her hands up into the air. "I saved your friggin' life, here!" She pointed at herself. "Not the bad guy, Little Miss Ungrateful!"

But the Slayer was having none of it.

And, of course, Seo wasn't about to hurt the girl she'd just saved from imminent death. How stupid would that be? So Seo took her best option, and just let the girl capture her and drag her away.

Big mistake.

The girl obviously didn't know Seo, but the girl's Watcher did. Recognized her right away. Warned the Watchers' Council.

And so, Seo got to — yet again — catch up with the guys who'd made Mom's life hell, way back before Seo had ever been born.

First time in this regeneration.

"Since I've got a new face, I'll just remind you — I still don't like you," Seo informed them. "Just making that really clear. Right away."

She was being imprisoned in the Council's basement, in an iron-clad cell. It wasn't that hard to break out, of course, but there were a lot of people standing right outside, ready to attack her, and Seo didn't want to fight them. She could, of course — and if she did, she knew she'd win…

But they'd probably wind up pretty badly injured in the process.

And how freakin' sucky a superhero would that make her? Beating up a bunch of guys who'd banded together to save the world?

She might be more aggressive this time around, but she was still Seo. And she didn't hurt anyone if she could help it.

So Seo stayed put.

It was a while before the head of the Watchers Council showed up, examining Seo by torch. She squinted, protesting as the friggin' moron waved the light right in her eyes, but he didn't listen. Just stepped back, satisfied.

"This is her," declared the head Watcher.

At which point everyone basically freaked, and the whole group started reciting all kinds of magic around her. Magic that, by the way, didn't actually seal Seo into her cell at all — just happened to give her one hell of a migraine.

"Hey, do you mind?!" Seo snapped, hands on her head. "That is really annoying!"

"It's working!" cried one of the Watchers. "Whatever she is, she can be restrained by magic."

Seo sighed. "Yeah, I'm not 'restrained', morons," she said. "It's called 'cooperating'. You know? Like that whole getting-along thing you learned in preschool?"

The Watchers all gave her blank stares.

Seo shook her head, irritated. "Look, just… tell me what you want! I'll give it to you. And we can get out of here. Okay? I mean, it's not like we're on different sides."

This seemed to send the head Watcher into a rage.

"You!" he spat, charging towards her. "You deserve to die! You deserve—"

"Yeah, thanks Mr. Anger Issues," said Seo, crossing her arms. "Actually, I just died about three weeks ago. So I'm thinking… no. Don't wanna do it, again."

The head Watcher's eyes narrowed. "You speak like us," he growled. "Try to blend in. But we know what you are. I saw what you did! I only want to know… why?!"

Seo was taken aback. "What… I did," she repeated. "When… I was looking like this."

Damn.

That was the problem with being new to a regeneration. The only people who recognized you were the ones you hadn't actually met, yet.

"Look, this is gonna sound weird, but I have no idea what you're talking about," Seo said. "But I'm guessing whatever you're stuck on, it was completely necessary, and ultimately for the good of—"

"You murdered an orphanage," said the Watcher.

That threw Seo for a loop.

For a second she just stared.

Then: "What?!"

The Watchers didn't seem in too much of a rush to explain themselves.

"No, whoa, wait, hold the phone!" Seo insisted. "I know myself. And that's something I'd never do."

Had to be an explanation. Had to! Seo wracked her brain for one.

"Are you sure it was really me?" Seo tried. "I mean, could be I was the one trying to save the kids, except it all went wrong, and I wound up wracked with grief and guilt and…" But Seo could see, from the looks on their faces, that this wasn't what had happened. "Or… maybe… something else?"

"What are you?" the head Watcher demanded. "Your pimpled minions called you Glory, but what glory is there in murdering children?"

And that was when the penny dropped.

When Seo looked down at herself, saw the red dress, the tips of her own curly blond hair, recognized the voice and the accent and even just the way she moved, and realized…

Who she must have regenerated to look like.

"Oh, my God," Seo breathed. "This isn't…! I mean, I had no idea I looked like…!" She stepped back, her hands up, placating. "Look, guys, I'm not Glory. Seriously. I guess I look like her… and sound like her…" She cringed. "Oh, God, I even have the temper-thing going on. Talk about a friggin' regeneration screw-up."

"What are you?!" the head Watcher shouted.

"Your friend!" Seo shouted back. Stormed up to them. "Listen, jerks. If I really was Glory, you think I'd stay in here? No way! I'd have the powers of a hell goddess, and I'd use them! Punch through the iron doors, bust my way out of here, murdering you all and sucking out your brains, until I…"

She stopped.

As she noticed the growing horror on the Council's faces.

"Oh," Seo said, sucking in a sharp breath. "You guys… didn't actually know Glory was a hell goddess, yet. Huh?"

Yeah.

Seo was gonna have a barrel of laughs getting out of this one.

It took her a while before she got out of there.

A long while, in which the Watchers Council probably learned more about Glory than they really should know. And a lot more about hell goddesses than they really should know.

A long while which ended… with Seo's incredibly ingenious escape.

And she really did try not to hurt anyone. Honest! Even when they were going at her with everything lethal they had on them, hoping to see what weapons could kill a hell goddess, and Seo had to do something pretty desperate and insanely smart to get out of it… she'd still tried her hardest not to hurt them.

But they were making that pretty impossible!

So… yeah. She'd hurt them. A little. But she'd apologized, hadn't she? That was just good manners. She'd said sorry, and tried to help them up to their feet, and even offered to find them some medical help.

They were having none of it, though.

And Seo basically had to pretend she was every bit as evil and ruthless as the real Glory, so she could bluff her way out. Then run for her life.

That was the escape.

It wasn't until Seo got back to the safety of her ship… that it all began to really sink in. Who she looked like, this time around. Who she acted like. Sounded like.

She'd regenerated… to look like her worst enemy.

Seo stood inside of Oliver for a very long time. Her hands tracing the contours of her own face. Trying to find some way it didn't match the face she always saw in her nightmares. And failing.

What could she do?

What was there left to do?

Jenny hadn't been able to work out why Seo did what she did, next.

The change in Seo's appearance.

"But you looked fine, before!" Jenny insisted. "And now you just look… black and depressing and… weird!"

Seo looked down at her black clothes. The bleakest clothing she could find, dreary and shabby — the sharpest contrast possible to Glory's opulence and red dresses.

"What did you even do to your hair?" Jenny said.

"I straightened it," said Seo. "And dyed it black."

"It doesn't look like you straightened it," Jenny countered. "It looks like you killed it, hung it up, and left it out to dry!"

Seo didn't love her new look. In fact, she hated it. It didn't match her current tastes at all.

But that was kind of the point.

Wasn't it?