Planning a training trip was, naturally, far more complicated than Ranma had initially thought. For one thing, he was no longer in a situation where he could up and leave whenever he wanted; he had a serious duty in Juuban, and shirking it could mean that harm would come to innocent people. Or, if the worst-case scenario should occur, the Negaverse could gain a proper foothold and conquer Earth.
For Usagi, it was bad enough that her vacation was in jeapoardy; the prospect of having Earth taken over by energy-draining monsters was almost as bad as having the entire break cancelled and just holding extra classes for two weeks.
That said, there was one other significant problem beyond leaving the endangered area; nobody but Sousuke wanted to go. And of those that didn't want to go, only Makoto was willing to grit her teeth and bear it.
Negi didn't mind the idea of training. Of course, his idea of training involved lots of bookwork, experimentation, and practice inside a carefully controlled environment. Getting him to leave his room to train was less than pointless. Negi was among the first to volunteer to stay and "hold down the fort".
Usagi was a swift second. Her reasoning was something along the lines of: "No WAY am I going to spend my vacation hiking around in the boonies! Can't you just go to the gym or something?" Ranma didn't necessarily consider her opting out a bad thing; he really didn't know of any training methods foolproof enough to work with Usagi without likely killing her.
And as her hashi-jutsu training wouldn't benefit at all from being relocated out in the middle of nowhere, there was no real reason for her to go. Ami, who Ranma was slowly starting to realize just wasn't much of a fighter and probably never would be, didn't want to go either. Though she had spent much of her explanation stuttering and sweating, Ranma got the basic idea: his training was really hard, and she preferred less physical exercises. Ranma could respect that. So Ami was out.
That left Rei.
"You've got to be kidding me!" The raven-haired girl said, rubbing her forehead. "It's hard enough dealing with Sousuke and the constant fighting here at home! Now that we FINALLY get a few weeks off from school, you want us to ship out and put up with more of it out in the wilderness?"
Ranma considered his answer carefully.
"Yes."
Rei glared at him. Ranma shrugged.
"I don't know what to tell you; this is how training works. You find some isolated spot where no one'll bother you, and then you work yourself to exhaustion. It works, though."
Orion lifted his head up from where he was resting on Makoto's lap. "If you don't want to go, then don't go. We should keep most of the Senshi here anyway, so it'll work out fine."
Rei was hesitant. "Well, if that's the case, then..." And then Makoto leaned over to her.
"You know..." the taller girl began, whispering just loud enough for Ami and Usagi to overhear, "if you don't come, it'll be just me and the guys." She smiled. "A single girl and two cute guys, out in the middle of nowhere, all alone. Who KNOWS what could happen, hmm?"
Rei's first thought was for Makoto's safety; she would be the only girl, alone and completely at the mercy of Ranma and Sousuke! Who knows what terrible, lecherous, X-rated things one could get away with if-
The fire Senshi's rational mind took a moment to remind her who she was talking about, here. Rei's second thought was for Ranma's safety; he was a gullible, inexperienced boy who was still young, and still quite susceptible to a woman's charms if caught off-guard. And Makoto was obviously a veteran boy-hunter; who knows what she could get away with in the midst of a training trip?
(In Rei's imagination)
"Oh, Ranma-kun! Dinner's ready!" Makoto said cheerfully, holding up her ladle and grinning. "But in order to get your share, you have to defeat me and pin me to the ground! This is a training trip, after all!"
"Ranma-kun, it's safer if we all bathe together! You wouldn't want anything to happen to me if I was all alone, would you?" Makoto said brazenly, stripping off her gi.
"Ranma-kun, I think something bit me! C-Could you suck the poison out?" Makoto gasped, pointing to a spot on her midriff where she had scratched herself with a stick.
"Pst! Is something wrong with her?" Makoto whispered to Usagi, watching as a thin red aura engulfed the suddenly quiet fire Senshi.
Usagi winced as Rei suddenly glared to the side at the other girls, and then turned back to Ranma.
"I'm going," she said simply.
Ranma sweatdropped. "You... uh... don't look too happy about it. You sure you wanna go?"
"Yes, I'm sure," Rei said, obviously upset for no reason that anyone present could understand.
"And you'd better appreciate it!"
"Uh... okay?"
Usagi frowned. "I don't get it... why would Rei want to go train?"
Makoto snickered and leaned forward. "Training has SO little to do with it. You're thinking about this the wrong way." She sighed happily. "Fighters like Ranma and Sousuke-kun feel most comfortable when they're out training. If there's any time to get close to them, it's after a long, hot, sweaty workout." She whispered into Usagi's ear.
The blonde girl gaped, and then started chewing her lip. 'Is that true? Is that why Rei is going after all? Is she... is she going to...'
"Well, it's not ideal, but it'll work," Orion said, picking his head up. "I'll stay here and coordinate any necessary defenses with Negi and the remaining Senshi. We'll need to ensure we have a way of contacting you in case an emergency pops up – not that you'll be able to get back in time to do much about it – but otherwise I approve."
"W-Wait!" Usagi said nervously. "Maybe... Maybe I should go too."
Several eyebrows rose.
The blonde girl flushed. "Uh... not to train, but... uhm... to cook! Yeah, that's right!"
Ami winced and Rei blanched.
Makoto sweatdropped. "Usagi, I'm going to be there with them. Ranma's been living in the wilderness for most of his life. And Sousuke-kun has dozens of portable meals he can bring along. We don't really need to bring along someone else to cook."
"Um... but... well..." Ranma began to panic as Usagi suddenly seemed like she was on the verge of crying. Luckily, Makoto grabbed the Senshi leader by the shoulder and began whispering to her again.
"Hey, take it easy, would you?" Makoto said gently. "Nothing's going to happen; you don't need to force yourself along for no reason!"
Usagi sniffled slightly. "But... you said that Ranma and Sousuke... that they feel most comfortable on trips like this..."
"Well, yeah," Makoto hedged, trying to find a good way to retract her earlier statement. "But if you're worried about Ranma, don't be. This is Rei-chan we're talking about. She wouldn't have the nerve to do something like that."
The blonde girl frowned. "And Sousuke-kun?"
"You just TRY and get between me and Sousuke," Makoto said in a sickeningly sweet voice, "and they'll never find your remains."
Ranma sweatdropped as he watched Makoto and Usagi whisper to each other before Usagi gulped and paled.
"Besides," Makoto said in a normal voice as she backed off slightly, "if you come too, that'll leave Ami and Negi-kun here alone."
As the others winced, Ami nodded. "It would be rather difficult to repel any attacks with just the two of us, even with Orion's expertise."
"... Yeah, and there's that too," Makoto said after a moment.
"Huh? Wait, what were you talking about?" Ami asked, frowning.
Usagi sighed and relented, not wanting the discussion to turn into a big argument over Ami's pedophilia. "Okay, fine. I'll stay... but Luna should probably go with them."
Luna's head shot up. "What? Why?"
"What? Why?" Ranma echoed in a distressed tone. He didn't really like Luna. Even putting aside that he generally maintained a dim view of cats even after the curing of his phobia, Luna was the worst kind of cat: namely, the kind that whined constantly like a parent. Well, not exactly like a parent; he much preferred Genma's bald-faced belligerence and the subsequent fights to Luna's high-pitched nagging.
"Uh..." Usagi winced, once again having gotten ahead of herself. 'How do I put a positive spin on sending along a chaperone?'
Luckily, she had allies. "We're support units by nature," Orion chimed in eagerly. "Luna will help keep the two groups in contact, better organize the training schedule, scout the area when you're busy, and ensure that your training methods don't go overboard." Obviously, the military mau was looking forward to two weeks without the black cat around.
"I will? Says who?" Luna protested, standing up. "Why can't YOU go with them? Training definitely sounds like your territory, not mine!"
"If only I could be so irresponsible..." Orion sighed melodramatically. "But my superior tactical skills are needed here, in the battlefield. While I'd LOVE to spend a few weeks kicking back on a training mission, they don't need my help there. I'm afraid there's no feasible alternative to you going."
Before Luna could shoot back with a rational argument, Ranma's mouth took control of the situation to destabilize it with all haste. "But Luna's kind of useless, you know? Can't we do without her?"
"USELESS?!" The royal advisor hissed, her hair bristling as she glared at Ranma. "I am not useless! I simply happen to have a skill set of no use to barbarians and psychotics!"
"... Then how aren't you useless?" Ranma asked, scratching his head.
"You'll find out during the break!" Orion quickly interjected. "Don't underestimate her!"
"Yes!" Luna immediately agreed, "I'll show you just how useful I am!"
There was a moment of silence.
"Crap." Luna concluded. Orion grinned like he had just eaten a canary.
Ranma still didn't want Luna around, but seeing how he and Luna herself seemed to be the only ones who didn't like the idea – and Luna had just been more or less tricked into it – he didn't see a point in resisting further. "Okay, fine. The cat can go. But I am NOT in charge of taking care of it."
Luna hissed at him. "I have a name, you ignorant brute!"
"So do I, ya dumb stray!"
Rei deftly grabbed Luna out of the air as the feline made a leap to attack the pigtailed boy in a fit of rage. "That's enough out of you two. I'LL take care of Luna while we're out, so don't worry about it."
"And you just leave all the cooking to me!" Makoto said brightly.
"Give me a list of necessary supplies, and I will acquire them within eight hours," Sousuke said firmly. "Using ANY means necessary."
"Then it's all confirmed!" Orion said, looking far too pleased for Luna's liking. "By this time tomorrow, you'll be trekking the wilderness, challenging your body to its limits!" He sighed pleasantly. "Ahhh... I envy you, spending two weeks out of action to hone your reflexes."
"I envy you, spending two weeks without Luna's nagging," Ranma mumbled.
Rei's grip on the agitated moon cat proved inadequate in the face of Ranma's ability to enrage people. Before the Senshi of Mars knew what happening, her arms were empty, and Ranma was rolling on the ground yelling as Luna clawed and bit at his face.
Negi sweatdropped. "You know, in a strange way, I think I'm going to miss this."
"... You're right. That is strange," Orion said, still looking extremely pleased.
"Hmmm... interesting..."
Standing high atop a building overlooking the train station, a certain purple-haired mazoku rubbed his chin thoughtfully, watching the loading platform from a safe distance as a simple spell he had prepared earlier listened in on a particular conversation.
"I'm kind of surprised your grandpa let you go," Usagi said, looking rather disappointed that he had.
"You wouldn't believe the fuss Grandfather put up when I told him about this," Rei groused as she handed off her bags to Ranma. "He spent a whole hour ranting about the 'kinds of things kids start doing when they're out on their own unsupervised.' It's like he thinks that any gathering of teenage boys and girls together is just an excuse for a big orgy." She grimaced
Makoto blinked. "Well, yeah." There was a rather uncomfortable pause as everyone waited for her to elaborate on that statement. "Uh... yeah, of course that's what it would look like to him. You know how those old-timers are," she added rather unconvincingly.
Sousuke hefted a rather large, solid-looking case onto the platform behind Rei's bags. "If you'd like, I could contact him now and assure him of our professional intent. Or if that's not enough, I could have him neu-"
Makoto slapped a hand over the mercenary's mouth to keep him from speaking further, laughing a bit nervously. "Now Sousuke-kun, I'm sure Rei-chan dealt with the problem already, or she wouldn't be here!"
Rei frowned, but couldn't really complain about Sousuke being silenced to keep him from agitating her. "Yeah. He gave me a whole long list of rites and rituals aimed at 'cleansing the body and purifying the soul' and whatnot and made me promise to do all of them while I'm gone. Most of them involve copious amounts of cold water."
Off to the side, Orion smirked as Luna fumed silently. The black cat looked very much like she wanted to say something, probably multiple somethings, very loudly. However, they were currently in the middle of a train platform surrounded by people shuffling about on their vacations or daily commutes, and the moon cats couldn't possibly speak without risking someone noticing.
"Just be sure not to overdo it, all right?" Usagi asked worriedly as she fussed over Ranma, who was currently draped in Rei and Makoto's luggage; though the girls had been asked to pack light, they weren't particularly used to camping, and probably hadn't guessed that Ranma would make them carry their own belongings at some point.
"Don't worry about it. I've been on training trips all my life. And with Sousuke and the girls, it won't be nearly as tough as some of the things I'm used to. I'll be fine," the martial artist responded. Deep inside, he felt a definite pang of warmth that someone actually seemed to be concerned about his welfare concerning something as simple and routine as mountain training. It felt... nice.
His father had only showed any concern for him, carefully masked as contemptuous sympathy for his weakling son, when he had been brought to the verge of death. And while it was usually enough to goad Genma into spending his booze money to pay for professional medical care, the concern never lasted outside of the walls of the hospital. The neko-ken training was ample proof of that.
Of course, he didn't only have Genma to measure his worth against. There were numerous other people who showed equal disregard for his well-being, if not more. Akane had seemed to think that body casts suited him, and had actively gone about putting him in them. He didn't have a good idea of what the rest of the Tendo family thought of him, not being the best judge of character or having great social depth, but they way they shrugged off Akane's aggressions spoke volumes. Clearly he wasn't worth defending from the youngest Tendo's whimsical anger.
Which was all fine for Ranma; he didn't need other people to defend him. Certainly not from a bratty teenage girl. Ranma handled Akane like he handled all the hardships in his life: he got over it, pushed himself back up on his feet, and went about his business. He didn't expect anybody to stick their necks out for him, and sure enough, no one bothered.
For some reason, though, these girls seemed to care about his general welfare. Mostly Usagi, but the others as well. Even his fellow Knights and Orion, while they often took him for granted, seemed to go out of their way regularly to accommodate him, in everything from his training, his job, and making sure he got ample first aid after every battle.
Usagi noticed that Ranma seemed to be spacing out a bit, and gingerly pinched his cheek to get his attention again.
"Ack! 'Ey! Whaddya do tha' foh?" The pigtailed boy asked with his cheek stretched out. The blonde girl frowned up at him cutely.
"This is the last time we're going to see each other for a while! Pay attention!" She let him go and cleared her throat. "Look... while you're up there, don't... uh..." she flushed heavily as she tried to think of a way to put this that was both tactful and blunt enough for Ranma to understand.
She drew a complete blank, so she sighed inwardly and just plowed ahead. "Just... make sure you respect Rei-chan's purity, all right?" She said quickly, stepping in closer so that no one else could hear.
One could almost see the question marks popping up over Ranma's head. "Respect her 'purity'? What's that supposed to mean? You want me to help her with her rituals or something?"
"No!" Usagi almost shouted, drawing a few curious glances from the others who were discussing the likely youma attacks that may happen when most of the Knight's conventional power was away. She pulled him a bit further away before speaking again. "No, I mean you have to stay away from her!"
"What? How far away?" Ranma asked, rather annoyed. 'This must be another one of those stupid girl things... women.'
Usagi considered Ranma's interpretation of her request, and decided that it would do; if Ranma was convinced that, for some reason, he couldn't get too close to Rei, it would accomplish the same thing as telling him that she didn't want him to have any steamy romances far away where she couldn't run interference. "Uh... about... two meters? I think that would be good."
"Fine, fine. And that'll keep her 'pure' or whatever?" Ranma asked, obviously annoyed.
Usagi beamed. "I guarantee it!"
"Saotome!" Sousuke called sharply, "Our transport has arrived. Estimated time till departure is two minutes. Move out!"
Ranma nodded, and then froze up as Usagi suddenly lurched forward to give him a surprise embrace.
Usagi blushed as she held the martial artist tight, and only released him once she felt a sudden, searing heat on her back – as if a certain someone were glaring at her with a heat that could sunder steel. "All right, it's time to go. You be nice to Luna, okay?"
Ranma stuttered out a weak "Okay," unable to come up with a sarcastic comment about the annoying moon cat after the sudden burst of affection. As he walked off toward the platform, he rubbed the back of his head in embarrassment as he noticed that the rest of the Senshi were staring (or in Rei's case, glaring) at him. 'Well, I guess Usagi isn't that worried about her purity,' he thought.
Usagi blinked as she suddenly felt a sharp, uncharacteristic urge to slap Ranma, as if he hadsaid something thoughtless that could be easily misinterpreted. Even though he hadn't said a thing. Weird.
Xellos rubbed his chin in thought.
This was good for the Segaverse. Very good. More than half of the Senshi forces were outbound from the city for an entire week, apparently for a training trip. Either the remnant forces in Juban could be attacked, thanks to their lesser numbers and lack of their most tactically important fighters, or the training group could be wiped out once they were isolated and exhausted.
Boooooooriiiiiiiiiing.
Quick, easy wins were no fun. And while the local forces of darkness had a spotty record as of yet for taking advantage of strategic opportunities, Nephrite was already getting desperate for results to show Beryl, and would likely become much more aggressive soon.
"I think it's time Yukata Kamen made his presence known once more," the mazoku mused. Then he tapped his staff sharply against the roof under his feet. Behind him, the two youma playing Parcheesi blinked and turned toward him.
One of them was a shapely, scantily clad woman with long black hair, a skull amulet, and a bust that was nothing short of ridiculous. The other was a short, rather flat-chested redhead wearing a far more modest wizarding outfit of red and yellow, along with a pair of heavy shoulder pauldrons.
Hey, even Xellos got a little homesick once in a while.
"Lina! Naga! I have a mission for you!"
Naga jumped to her feet, her breasts bouncing from the movement. "Yes, Lord Xellos!"
Lina sighed, leaning back. "What is it, Lord?"
Xellos frowned slightly at Lina's attitude. "No, no, NO! That's not how you're supposed to address me!" He insisted, wagging a finger at her. "How many times do I have to tell you? You're not rude enough! You should respond with 'What do you want now, you flake?' or something like that! And don't you dare not raise your voice when you're speaking to me! I'm your master! So long as you're in character, you'll treat me as an annoying tag-along, and you'll LIKE it!"
Lina sweatdropped. "Uh... but Lord Xel-" Thonk!
Xellos frowned more deeply as he swatted his servant over the head with his staff.
"OW! That hurt, you son of a pit spawn!" Lina snarled, her eyes glowing a dark yellow.
Xellos immediately looked quite pleased. "Better. Now pay attention. Here's what I want you to do..."
Rei was feeling a little self-conscious at the moment. It was not that she was regretting her impulsive decision, nor was it that she was on her way to do who knows what, in who knows where. No, it was that said object of her potential affection seemed to be avoiding her.
It wasn't obvious at first, but as the trip progressed it was unavoidably noticeable. First, Ranma had piled the entire luggage that he had been carrying next to Sousuke's cases, which was understandable as there was quite a bit and kept him apart from the rest of the group, except for Luna who was napping on the luggage.
She noticed that every so often he would sneak a glance in her direction, something which she found very encouraging and a bit endearing, but then that was all he did. He must have SOMETHING on his mind that he wanted to talk about. Figuring that if he wasn't going to man up and break the ice then she would.
On the pretense of stretching her legs and checking for something in her suitcase, she made her way over to the pig-tailed martial artist and then sat down next to him… only to find that he had moved to the other side of the train. She tried later on, but the same thing happened again. Maybe it was something wrong with her! Quietly she walked over to the luggage and woke the snoozing cat.
"Hey Luna?" she asked quietly, after making sure no one was listening. She made a pretense of petting and fussing over the cat in case anyone was watching.
"Is there a problem?" Luna whispered back as Rei pretended to affectional rub cheeks with her.
"Can you smell me?"
"Pardon?"
"Do I … smell?"
"Yes."
"I do?" The Senshi of fire had small flames of depression form around her.
"Everyone has a scent. Though, if you wanted a friend who smells then you should have brought a dog." The mau considered a bit and said, "If you are worried about getting lost in the forest then put that worry away. I may not be the military mau Orion is, but I can easily find you. You're scent is particularly unique. You smell like incense, old wooden shrines, and whatever that flowery stuff is you wear to cover it with."
"I see." Rei listlessly replied, as each description of her scent hit her like an arrow. Maybe she needed to ask one of her fellow humans? But which one and not make it seem weird. Makoto would be the best choice and might have something on her that she could borrow. She looked over to her fellow Senshi and found her chatting animatedly with the Sousuke.
Well, Makoto talked animatedly and Sousuke would reply in his serious smoldering way. Somehow, the tall girl had gotten him to talk about some declassified parts of a battle that he had been part of. Rei couldn't tell if Makoto was really enthralled with the tale or just making a pretense of it, but in either case didn't want to interrupt and couldn't think of a good excuse to get her alone.
The raven haired girl quietly brooded in her seat. Thanks to Luna, she felt even more self-conscious each time Ranma glanced her way. Trying to guess what was on his mind was driving her to distraction! What if he decided that meatball head and him were going to be an item and wanted to gentle let her down? Friend-zoned already!
No, no. While her blonde friend, leader and rival had tried to stake a claim, it was obvious that Ranma was still undecided. DID he realize that there was something to decide? In either case, it meant that there was still time and she had to make the most of the next few weeks! The boy in question looked in her direction and derailed her thoughts again.
Maybe she should have brought more deodorant or was he the type who only appreciated the scent of a hard days training? She hoped it wasn't the case as that would be..weird. Oh, why did boys have to be completely disgusting, barbaric, immature….objects of desire? *SIGH*
Despite living in Jubaan, Umino tended to a live a pretty simple life. In that he didn't spend TOO much time fleeing in terror from youma, and spent absolutely no time fighting them. He possessed no magical powers, worked for no secret organizations, had never taken a martial arts class, owned no robots – giant or otherwise – and couldn't build anything more complicated than a paper airplane. He was truly and completely normal in a region that defined the term "weird".
He rather liked it that way, so when a ditzy blonde girl that claimed to be a ravenous youma suddenly sat him down and explained the invasion plans of some evil organization called the Segaverse, he'd tried to brush it off and go about his normal, everyday life, figuring that he couldn't really do anything about it, and that there were others who could and regularly did.
So he'd ignored the strange, crazy girl and tried to go back to his drab, day-to-day existence, forgetting all about dark gods and evil witches and whatnot. Which would have been a lot easier if the crazy blonde twit would just leave him alone.
"Incredible! Excel has never had such wonderful sukiyaki before!" Excel gushed before the pot of beef and noodles placed before her, small streams of tears pouring down her cheeks.
"You will make an excellent servant for the denizens of the Segaverse, 'Mom'! Excel will personally give a recommendation for Lord Xellos to spare your life when the impending invasion comes!"
Umino's mother Kiki giggled behind her hand. "Oh my, thank you Excel-chan! Umino-kun, your girlfriend is so lively!"
Umino's eyebrow twitched. "She's not my girlfriend, Mom. She wasn't my girlfriend when she followed me home yesterday, and she won't BE my girlfriend in the future."
His father, Taro, gave a lighthearted chuckle as he slapped his son on the back. "Modest as always, eh? But seriously though, who would've thought that you'd go for older women?"
"Seriously, she's NOT my girlfriend. I don't even like her," Umino groused uselessly.
"Excel-chan, I brought out our old spare futon for you to use tonight," Kiki said as she scooped more sukiyaki into the youma's bowl. "Since you don't have anywhere to stay, you can sleep in the living room. While we don't really mind if you sleep in Umino's room, we wouldn't want to tempt you two!" She giggled in that inane way that mothers did when they wanted to suffocate their children with embarrassment.
Umino wasn't embarrassed, just annoyed. Why didn't his parents listen to him? Why couldn't they see that either Excel was being serious about being a youma bent on their enslavement, or that she was some sort of dangerous escaped mental patient? And most importantly, WHY was that moron hanging around here in the first place?
*Slllllurp!* *Bam!* Excel sighed contentedly as she dropped her empty bowl in front of her, a light flush over her cheeks. Although human food was worthless to her as far as nourishment went, it sure tasted good!
"Future servant Mom! May Excel have some more, please?"
"Oh, of course! What a hearty appetite you have, Excel-chan!"
Umino growled under his breath before jamming another spoonful of sukiyaki into his mouth. Just how much longer was he going to have to put up with this?
"Man, this is going to be a lousy week," Umino complained to nobody as he pulled on his pajama top. "Well... there's no way Excel can hang around my place for long, right? Either she's going to have to get back to her mission in taking over the world, or the men in white coats will eventually track her down here. It's not like she hasn't left a trail following me home."
He spent a moment yawning, and then grabbed the corner of his comforter and pulled it up.
A vein popped up on his head. "Excel... what are you doing in my bed?"
The normally chipper blonde blinked blearily at having her rest interrupted, and slowly sat up.
"Ehhhh? Oh, Umi-kun... how's it going?"
The teenager took a deep breath to calm himself, and then stepped aside, pointing toward the living room. "This is my bed. Yours is in there."
Excel blinked and rubbed one of her eyes. "But you have the only night light!"
Umino felt like facefaulting, but was too tired. "Aren't you supposed to be an evil monster in disguise from a dark twilight realm?"
Excel suddenly looked shocked. "What?! How did you know that?! My cover's been blown!" Her eyes narrowed. "I'll have to kill you before you tell someone!"
"..." Umino took a moment to rub his forehead. "YOU told me that, remember? And then you told my parents. Not that they believed you."
Excel considered that for a moment. "Oh! You're right! Well, good night, then!" She immediately fell back into the bed, sighing in contentment.
Umino promptly grabbed his pillow and yanked it out from under the youma's head. "You're not sleeping here! Get out!"
Excel gasped as she sat up again. "But Umi-kuuuun... you wouldn't throw out your girlfriend, would you?"
"You're NOT my girlfriend! And while we're on the topic, why didn't you tell them that?" the teenager asked angrily.
The blonde youma grinned suddenly. "Why? This is a crucial part of my mission!"
"Your mission to track down that Chinese girl who beat you up?"
"... What? What are you talking about?" Excel asked, rubbing her head.
"When we met, you asked me about that girl with purple hair who was interrogating me," Umino explained.
"... I have no recollection of that," Excel asked, looking honestly confused. Umino really didn't know if her apparent sincerity was reassuring or troubling.
"So what is your mission, then?" Umino asked through clenched teeth, his arms crossed over his chest.
"I dunno," Excel said, shrugging. "But I'm confident that establishing a good cover as the eccentric girlfriend of a random teenage loser is VITAL to my mission's success!"
Umino growled, becoming more and more frustrated as the conversation continued. Normally he wasn't a very assertive person, but this situation had passed from the realm of normalcy long ago. "Is that the way you want it? FINE. Since nobody listens to me anyway, it's not like I can do anything about it. Just GET OUT OF MY BED!"
Excel winced from the noise, and sighed as she started pulling her legs out from under the covers.
Grrrrumble
Umino blinked as he watched Excel shudder. "What the... was that your stomach?" He rolled his eyes as Excel got to her feet unsteadily. "You're STILL hungry? Good grief."
Excel chuckled in embarrassment. "Well, it's a bit late to say this now, but your human food actually does not nourish Excel! We require a more pure form of energy to feed on!"
Umino blinked in surprise. "What? So you ate half my family's sukiyaki for nothing?" He groaned.
"I couldn't help it! Your mother is such a good cook!" Excel gushed happily.
"Not that I really care about feeding you – you seem to have plenty of energy if you ask me – but if you don't eat human food, what kind of energy do you use?"
"Human energy!" Excel beamed. On seeing Umino's confused expression, she elaborated.
"Youma absorb human life force straight from their bodies; it's very efficient! Not like all that gross 'digestion' stuff that you have to go through!"
Umino paled as he was subjected to yet another aspect of the Segaverse's forces that he was really better off not knowing. "You feed off humans? Seriously?" He'd heard the rumors to that effect, of course, but then there were all manner of rumors as to what happened to those attacked by the youma, from tales of soul-stealing to more exotic theories about alien impregnation.
All people really knew is that people attacked by youma lost consciousness for a while and then came to later, completely exhausted and without any memories of what had happened.
The teenage boy gulped nervously. "Then... are you going to take... my energy?"
Excel's eyes narrowed. "To be honest... I haven't decided yet... hmmm..." She started rubbing her chin thoughtfully. "You're rather important to my cover... but given that I'm not sure what my mission is, it might not be a problem that my cover gets compromised... of course, if you get up in the morning completely exhausted, everyone will just assume we spent the night doing dirty things to each other and brush it off... but if that gets back to Lord Xellos, I just don't know what I'll do! Excel's body is meant only for him, after all, and how could I risk giving the impression that Excel has betrayed Lord Xellos' trust in this matter that he's probably never even thought about? It's unacceptable!"
Umino, who had been carefully sneaking out of his bedroom door, was suddenly yanked back in by the back of his pajamas.
Excel grinned brightly as she stared down at the helpless teenager. "Excel has decided! Draining you completely or on a regular basis would be too risky! Therefore... you're now Excel's Emergency Food Supply!"
"I'm... I'm what?" Umino said weakly, paling as Excel grinned at him cheerfully.
"You're Excel's Emergency Food Supply!" The youma repeated, patting him on the head playfully. "For now, I will seek alternate nourishment!" Her face suddenly darkened, and her eyes glowed a bright crimson. "But if the hunger just becomes too much for me to stand..." she raised her pointer finger up to her neck, and slowly drew it across her throat. "Khhhhhgk!"
Umino started trembling, wanting to scream for help, but fearful of what the blonde youma would do if he tried.
"Whelp, g'night!" Excel said suddenly, her eyes returning to normal as she slapped the teenager on the back amiably. Then she dove back into Umino's bed, snuggled herself deeply into his blanket, and promptly fell asleep.
Umino stood at the doorway to his room, gaping. He raised his hand, on the verge of pointing out, once more, that the bed was his and Excel was not welcome there. His arm dropped to his side.
His nerve had abandoned him the moment Excel had classified him as a food source. 'The living room isn't so bad,' he thought to himself, shivering pathetically as he turned around. 'Maybe if I get up early, I can even get a nice, long head start on fleeing this place for my life.'
Of course, that would leave his parents vulnerable, but it wasn't like he could defend them if he stayed. Besides, they'd probably be all right; Excel liked his mother's cooking, after all. "Man, I'm going to miss this place."
Rei looked up at the mountainside, staring long and hard at the thick, tangled underbrush, patches of jagged rock, and dry, sharp low-hanging branches. She turned and stared at her swollen backpack and suitcase, doing some quick calculations in her mind. The results were not encouraging.
Finally, she turned to Ranma. "You're not serious, are you?"
Ranma rolled his eyes. "What, you didn't actually expect me to carry all your stuff all the way to the campsite, did you? The whole point of this trip is to make you tougher."
Rei chewed on her lip briefly. In truth she had expected just that, if only because she hadn't really thought about it beforehand. "Okay, fine, but WHY do we have to camp out on top of a mountain? There are plenty of good spots down here!"
"Yeah, there are. So what?" Ranma asked, shrugging. "Making you haul your stuff up a mountain is the perfect way to start off. First, it'll set the pace for the rest of the trip. Second, finding or making a path through hard terrain like this is a good way to start off for people who aren't used to this sort of thing." Then he crossed his arms over his chest. "And finally, you'll learn what 'packing light' means, and why it's important. I could get by for three months on half the weight you're taking for less than a week."
Rei's eye twitched as she shouldered her backpack. "Yeah, well some of us weren't raised in the freaking jungle..." she mumbled just loud enough for all to hear.
Makoto gulped and tugged on the collar of her shirt nervously. While she only had one overstuff backpack and a fanny pack, her pack was much heavier than Rei's. "Ah... considering that I'm carrying the cooking gear - you know, the heavy, METAL cooking gear - that we're all going to use and benefit from, do you think you could carry MY up? Or... Or some of the gear, at least?"
Ranma blinked and brought a hand to his ear. "Sorry, what did you say? It sounded something like 'Ranma, I'm too weak and lazy for basic wilderness training, will you do all the work for me?' Is that what you said?"
A vein popped up on Makoto's head as she forced a smile on her face. "No, no... of course not... I'll be right behind you..." With an irritated grunt, she lifted up the pack, staring with shaky determination at the mountainside.
Sousuke, meanwhile, was staring critically at his gear. "This is problematic. Ordinarily I'm airlifted to the home base with all my gear before training begins. I had not anticipated this."
Of course, out of the three trainees, Sousuke was most used to wilderness survival, but his own gear consisted of two armored cases with numerous weapons and a considerable ammunition reserve, making his load the heaviest there.
The mercenary looked up at Ranma. "Commander, my preliminary intel indicates that this mountain has an old road on the other side in an acceptable state of repair. Would that route be acceptable?"
"Don't call me 'Commander'," Ranma deadpanned. "Also, no."
If Sousuke was disappointed at the news, he didn't show it. "Sir, yes, Sir!" He picked up a case in each hand, and then stood up. "Mission objectives accepted! Commencing operations!" He promptly moved forward into the brush at a slow jog, and Rei and Makoto followed him with far less enthusiasm.
Luna sighed as she watched the three trudge off into the brush. "Are you sure this is a good idea? The Senshi defeat their enemies with magic and willpower, what good is tromping around in a forest going to do?"
Ranma shrugged. "You should have brought that up back when we were planning this whole thing, then. I'm just teaching them what I know." Scooping up the moon cat, Ranma shouldered his own pack and then leapt up into the branches of the trees above, startling the moon cat.
Luna yowled briefly when Ranma left, but quickly quieted down, a bit surprised that the pigtailed boy was willing to carry her in the first place. "It's not that I don't think they could benefit tremendously from a regimen like this, but with just a week I doubt it will make a difference."
"Yeah, you're probably right," Ranma admitted, "it would take months of intensive training before they could do anything real impressive without having to go Senshi, but they have lives and stuff, you know? It took me years of training day in and day out to get to the level I am. Hell, I hardly did anything else growing up. I just have to do what I can while we're out here."
He was already starting to get really annoyed with Luna's presence. 'I'll bet Orion doesn't spout off common sense to HIS instructors...' He continued leaping from branch to branch, quickly passing up the others with obnoxious ease. "So, do you think I should go easy on them, or not?"
Luna raised an eyebrow. "You're asking me?"
Ranma glared down at the cat nestled in his arms. "Well, you ARE the advisor, I'm stuck with you for the week, and you haven't missed a chance to tell me your opinion so far. So whaddya think?"
A vein popped up on Luna's head, and she reigned in her urge to bite the boy carrying her, if for no other reason than to save herself a nasty tumble. "I think you should treat me with a little more respect, for one!"
"No, I meant about-"
"I know what you meant!" Luna snapped. "But I'm serious! I realize that you come from a background that appreciates strength and little else. However, if you're going to assist the remnants of the Moon Kingdom in its efforts, you must adopt at least the bare minimum of civility and-"
Ranma had stopped listening about at the word "however", and was once again silently cursing Orion for shipping off his whiny, nagging counterpart with him.
"-so that you don't end up embarrassing yourself and others! What am I supposed to tell the princess when we eventually find her and you're introduced to her?"
"Yeah, sure. I'll do that," Ranma mumbled, obviously distracted by something further down on the mountain, where the others were.
"You're not even listening!" Luna groused.
Suddenly, Ranma smiled down at the alien feline in his arms. Luna blinked, and wondered where the sudden chill came from. "Hey Luna, I think I just thought of a great use for you!"
Luna raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Doing what?"
"MRRREEEEOW!"
"GYAH!" Rei shouted in surprise as a familiar black cat clamped onto her face, nearly knocking her over backward.
Rei's henshin rod went flying through the air as she flung her arms wide, spinning in lazy arcs before the group's "trainer" zipped through the air and caught it, rebounding off a tree afterward before leaping up and landing on another large branch.
Rei promptly pried Luna off of her face and glared angrily up at Ranma. Ranma felt bad about doing this to the girl, he really did, but he was Genma's son and student, after all. He waved Rei's henshin stick in the air mockingly while shaking his head.
"Oh, come on now, did you really think I'd let you get away with that? If you're transformed then you won't improve at all; your magic will cushion you from the stress and there won't be any point. So no transforming."
"You could have just SAID that instead of throwing things at me!" Rei growled as Makoto snickered nearby.
"I am not a 'thing'!" Luna protested hotly, being held from the scruff of her neck as Rei waved her about angrily. "Would you put me down?"
Ranma rolled his eyes. 'Geez. Did I complain this much when Pops was training me? No wonder he was so grouchy all the time.' "Fine, fine. You want to throw her back at me?"
"I AM NOT A PROJECTILE!" Luna screeched. Though she was just itching to claw up Ranma's face but good, the boy was unnaturally fast and she wasn't the most aerodynamic of creatures, so the chances of a catastrophic miss were troubling.
As Rei looked up at him questioningly, Ranma smirked. "I'm serious. You want to throw something at me?"
"Is that a challenge?" Rei asked, her eyebrow quirked.
"Sure, why not?" Ranma asked smugly. "Tell ya what. You guys take as many shots at me as you want. Rocks, sticks, cats, whatever weapons you can find. If you hit me, then I'll carry all your stuff up the mountain."
Ranma internally congratulated himself on finding a way to liven up the training by introducing incentives and a combat element to what was otherwise a long, difficult, and boring hike. After a moment, Ranma internally berated himself on forgetting that Sousuke was carrying guns.
"Wait! Sous-" Rat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat!
Rei promptly fell flat onto the ground as a stitch of rifle fire obliterated a section of tree trunk above her, sending loose branches and wood chips raining down on top of her. Makoto flinched back as Ranma dashed past her in a panic, and then ducked for cover herself as more bullets rained into the surrounding brush.
Sousuke rushed up before her, frowning as he reloaded his weapon. He had already shed all his equipment, reasoning that if he exceeded Ranma's expectations of his combat skills, he wouldn't have to carry it any further anyway.
Rei picked herself up as Sousuke raced away into the trees, wincing from the crack of gunfire that followed. "Huh. I guess sometimes two wrongs do make a right."
She tried to make out either Ranma or Sousuke in the dense forest. The only way she could track them was following the rustling leaves and startled birds. Suddenly the woods went silent.
Now she worried that the mercenary was actually able to tag their would-be trainer. She was mostly certain that Sousuke was using rubber bullets, she hoped. The silence continued and she became even more concerned.
Makoto approached and said, "Do you think they're OK?" Rei scanned the forest, but was unable to even remotely guess their location.
She turned toward Makoto, "I think, maybe, we should go look for them." A movement caught her eye. Ranma jumped from a tree and went into a full split to avoid a hail of bullets. At the peak of the jump, he twisted to avoid another burst shot. Rei blushed as she admired the way the muscles flexed under his flared shirt as he prepared for landing.
"Honestly, what a mess. Can you imagine these ruffians in the palace? If you two learn anything from this trip, it should be how not to act." Luna sniffed disdainfully. Rei had forgotten that she was still holding on to the moon cat. "Sousuke at least I can partially understand. He's an obsessed soldier like Orion, but Ranma, he's just an uncivilized brute." That last comment really irked Rei. The raven-haired girl sweetly said,
"Oh. I do think that Ranma can teach us some things." Ignoring the signs of danger, Luna blithely replied,
"What could he possible teach you?"
"That you make a great projectile." Rei tossed the moon cat as Ranma was about to run past her again. Ranma ducked and was about to tease the girl on her aim, when his head was suddenly pulled back. Luna had instinctively grabbed the pigtail as she was sailing over Ranma's head. Sousuke came out of the woods, his gun aimed at the floor, and calmly said,
"Congratulations Hino-san. That was an excellent use of your environment." He quickly replaced his guns and placed the weapon case in front of Ranma, who had finally gotten Luna to release her death grip on his pigtail.
"Commander."
The pigtailed youth chucked good heartily. "OK. You got me." Makoto gratefully handed her backpack to him, the pots clanking as she did. He took the weapon cases and balanced them on his head, but when Rei approached with her suitcase, he backed off.
"What? I tagged you with the cat," No one paid attention to Luna's humph,"You'll carry everyone's stuff, but you won't you carry mine?" The priestess spat out crossly. Ranma shook his head.
"'Snot that. I'm not supposed to be near you. Got to keep two meters away. Just drop the suitcase and backpack and I'll pick it up." Rei's face went red from anger.
"Did my grandfather tell you that? Does he really think that of me? When did he tell you?"
Ranma waved his free hand in denial. "No, it wasn't your grandfather. Usage was concerned about it, something about purity. Um, I think she was afraid I would disrupt those rituals that you have to do." he finished somewhat lamely. He couldn't recall what the blond's explanation was, if she had one, so that was the best thing he could think of. He looked warily at Rei who had turned yet a deeper shade of red.
"How close I am is none of Usagi's concern. If I want to be here," Rei stomped in front of the martial artist, "I'll be here. If I want to be this close,"The fiery tempered girl was now nose to nose with Ranma. He looked at her angry eyes and felt her hot breath against his face,"I'll be this close. Is that clear!" Ranma made some affirmative noises and took her backpack and suitcase with his right hand. Rei spun around and walked away. Luna jumped on top of Rei's suitcase. Ranma looked at her questioningly.
"It'll probably be safer to walk."
Luna looked at him daintily and said, "I have excellent balance. This should be safe enough. You promised to carry everybody's luggage and, technically, it was I who 'tagged' you. I have nothing, but myself, so to it is only right that you should carry me some more." Ranma looked at first he was going to argue, but then decided it was fair.
Playfully he said, "OK, but don't blame me if you get fat. I was only trying to get you a workout."
Luna lazily retorted, "The very idea. I'll have you know that my figure is the very definition of feline feminine beauty. Not that one of your nature could appreciate."
"If you say so, but I know poofy when I see it and I'm looking at it."
"It is not fat. It is fur. You should be envious of it, considering how you have to augment your own skin's protection artificially." Saotome anything goes foundations were grounded in insults and this sort of mental exercise was just perfect for passing the time. Maybe because she was getting a free ride out of it, but he thought that Luna was taking the light banter fairly well.
"I hope that Orion remembers that he should keep searching for the princess. That really would be a better use for our time. Do you think we could cut this trip a little short?" Then again, Ranma groused, this could be a long hike.
They both stopped their 'light banter' when Rei, still fuming and muttering about what she can and can not do, walked back through the bushes and stopped in front of Ranma. He looked at her questioningly when she suddenly grabbed his free hand, the left one that was looped through Makoto's backpack and pulled him up the mountain trail.
Sousuke noted that had caused Makoto's fanny pack to slip and grabbed it before it could hit the ground.
"I'll carry this for you Kino-san. It would appear that our commander will be distracted for a bit." The brown haired girl smiled at him and to his surprise, took his hand, and began to pull him after the other two.
They made it to the campsite in good time. Rei was amazed that, despite the weight of the luggage, Ranma still looked fresh. She had refused to relinquish his hand the entire time, though near the end he was leading. Not because she was tired, well she was, but only Ranma knew where they were going to stop.
He finally stopped at a small clearing. It really was quite beautiful and she thought she heard a waterfall in the distance. She winced. There were entire sections in her grandfather's rituals that had that started with 'first find a freezing waterfall'.
Rei let go of his hand and walked over to sit on a nearby rock while Luna found a sunny patch to cat nap. Makoto was enjoying the scenario, and still holding on to Sousuke's hand. Ranma threw each piece of luggage neatly by the trunk of a tree then he raised a leg to catch the weapon cases on his knee and foot as they fell from his head. They too ended in a neat pile next to the bags and he turned toward his charges.
"Hey Sousuke." The commando snapped to attention. Fortunately, Makoto had enough warning to let go before she was pulled forward but she still inspected her hand for damage. "Oops. Sorry about that Makoto. Well let's start training."
The girls protest a bit, but a raised eyebrow got Makoto to stop, which caused Rei to quiet her protests. "Sousuke the sparring session you had with Makoto tells me you need to work on anticipating your opponent. Makoto, I need you to help him with this. This exercise is called 'hands'. Basically, hold your hands against each other's palm. Now pretend that there's something holding them together like chewing gum, or something really sticky. Now move and try to anticipate each other's move so that you never break the connection on your hands. Don't move your feet, but keep the rest of your body movements fluid and graceful. Later try it on various surfaces to improve balance as well, like a hill slope or some place rocky."
Sousuke snapped a salute with a, "Sir! Yes! Sir!"
Makoto smiled and said, "Thank you Sensei!" She grabbed the soldier's hand and pulled him into the woods to find a good place to practice. The gleam in Makoto's eyes had Ranma wondering if he just made an error in judgment.
Rei was looking at him expectantly and asked, "What will I be doing?"
The martial artist replied with a smirk, "You'll be settings up camp."
"What!" She rose from the rock indignantly, but he ignored her outburst and continued. "I'll be helping you. Unfortunately, I don't know your limits, so I haven't worked out any exercises for you, but let's play a game to find out while we're working."
Rei was intrigued and sat down to listen again. "While we're setting up the camp, I'm going to randomly throw these tree bark shards and pine cones. Get something and try to hit them. Don't worry if you don't hit. Just see if you can at least throw one in the general direction of what I throw before it hits the ground."
"Are you saying I couldn't hit them…because I'm a girl?" Apparently, her feminist streak was beginning to show its ire.
"Nope. I'm just testing your reaction time. We'll work on your accuracy and power later. After all, throwing rocks isn't quite like your fire finger gun attack."
"That's fire soul," She said somewhat mollified.
"Right that." The two of them began the busy process of setting up a camp. While Rei was getting her tent out, Ranma called out with a, "Heads up," and tossed a fist sized bark to the left of her. She turned, but it hit the ground as she picked up her rock. He tossed a larger one to her right and this time she was able to hit it.
"Yea! Score one for the Miko." Ranma shook his head.
"Sloppy. You were totally unprepared for the first one." Rei frowned, but held her tongue. This time she made sure at all times she had a rock in her hands. It made setting things up more difficult, but she managed. Despite her preparations, she was surprised when a pinecone went flying over her head.
She spun around and said, "What no warning this time?"
Ranma shook his head and said, "Not every one you meet is going to announce their attack. Only the really good ones will!" He threw two pinecones on either side of her yelling, "TWIN PINE MAUL!" Rei threw her one stone at the first and had to scramble to the floor to get a second stone. She threw from her prone position, but the second pinecone already landed.
Ranma snorted, "I can see that we have a lot of work to do."
Rei gritted her teeth and reflected that this is going to be a long week. As she went through her pack for tent spikes, she noticed one of her packs of ofudas. She decided that sacrificing one pack for this exercise would be okay and it's not like they would be completely ruined.
She spied Ranma tossing her next target, a shard of bark. The raven-haired youth tossed the paper ward and was able to tag her target. She grinned at Ranma who smiled back.
"Not bad. Like my pops use to say, anything goes to accomplish the goal. Let's try a few more targets." He threw three more targets and Rei was able to get an ofuda flying toward each, though she wasn't able to tag anything this time. They continued doing this until they finished setting up camp.
Ranma approached and said, "Not bad. I bet you'll be a quite a handful when your Miko duties have you taking on evil spirits," Rei puffed up at the compliment, but she tempered her pride as she sensed that there was a 'but' ", but," yep there it was, "I noticed that you wasted a lot of energy in most of your throws. Here watch me. Maybe this will help next time you go after some big bad spirit."
He gathered a few wards on the ground and said, "Throw a few of those rocks at me." She did and was amazed as each ward flew straight as an arrow to hit a rock. She asked him to do it again. He used some sort of a short toss and aimed by flicking the ward with his pointer finger and thumb.
Rei tried to duplicate the feat. She was able to get the paper wards to fly more accurately, but not very far. After trying till she ran out of wards, she asked him to show her again. She still couldn't see anything different. It didn't seem like he was using his tremendous strength to toss them.
She picked up one of the paper wards Ranma had just used and tossed it herself. Wow, that one flew pretty far. She took one from her pack and threw it, but like the others, it only fluttered after a few feet.
Suspicious she went after the first one and examined it. It didn't look any different from the other. Studying it some more she noticed that it felt full of confidence and warmth. Almost wild. She was sensing Ranma's chi! He was powering up the ward with his chi. She wondered if it was similar to how she would power up a ward to banish a spirit. Taking a deep breath, she concentrated on the ward.
Ranma watched silently as the ward Rei was holding lightly began to glow red. He grinned when she looked up at him sharply. The martial artist tossed a pinecone toward her. Her hand flew forward and tossed the ward. It flew straight as an arrow, stuck the pinecone, and then exploded. "What happened?" Ranma asked in surprise as pieces of pinecone fell around the stunned girl. Shaking her head, she replied,
"I'm not sure. That never happened when I practiced with the charging the wards with chi at the shrine. I finally figured out that you were using your chi to help you throw the wards," Her confidence grew when he nodded his head and smiled," So I used the ofuda you had charged and charged it with my own chi and THAT happened." Ranma laughed, "I guess when we come together things have a bad tendency to explode. Not even a full day and you already have a new attack! We'll definitely check out what else we can do together!" The part time magical girl blushed as she considered different ways that they might 'explore' each other's potentials.