Epilogue

CAL

I slammed the beer down in front of the bulldog of a werewolf in front of me. His wet eyes narrowed in the creases over his cheekbones, but he took it and dropped his change on the counter as tip. Funny how when I was near psychotic grumpy I got better tips than an average day. I snatched up the bills and shoved them in my jean pocket; fuck, the peris if they thought we were splitting this shit at the end of the night. That's right, Cal Leandros was back in full Auphe swing, bitches.

Samyael eyed me sidelong down the other end of the bar, but like the rest of them avoided any direct contact with me be it physical or verbal. At this point physical would probably get them a gun barrel in their face. It didn't matter that Ishiah's non-clan employees had nothing to do with the attack on us. It didn't matter that they probably didn't care one way or another if Cassie had remained with me. They were peris and at the moment I hated them all.

When I woke in the ridiculous hotel Niko had shelled bank out for, the first words out of my mouth after I opened my eyes and saw him standing over me were, "Where's Cassie?" Niko didn't have an answer and –for once– neither did Robin. It must have been the drugs or the pain that had me cursing like a drunk sailor and almost in tears. I didn't even remember much of it. But I remembered Robin hugging me, hand clutching at the back of my head reassuringly and me letting him.

Cassie was gone. The thought still left me torn between screaming and punching in a wall. She said she'd stay, she promised. Granted she only promised to stay until I got hurt because of her and technically I did get shot by peri dicks that were after her, but... Yeah, okay, there was no explaining away that one, but it still stung.

I tensed when I felt a presence directly behind me, but didn't react quickly enough before a large hand clamped down on the back of my neck, squeezing uncomfortably then shoving forward so I had to strain my muscles in order to not slam my head into the bar. I didn't bother looking over my shoulder; I could recognize Ishiah's scent now. I guessed Castiella expanded that ability with her peri lineage. "I would appreciate a little less sass."

"Fuck off," I growled. I stared at the grain of the lacquered bar, jaw tense and grinding. Yeah, he was my boss. Yeah, he was the lover of my only non-relative friend. And because of this I trusted he wouldn't a.) kill me for the insult and b.) fire me for being an absolute douchebag. He would, however, snag me up by my longish black hair and wrench me back toward the offices down the hall. I hissed out at the pain along my scalp and elbowed Ishiah in the stomach to get him to let go. He didn't.

My shoulder met the door to his office painfully, before he reached around me to turn the knob and deposit me on his floor. Luckily, my reflexes had me stumble, head down, but remain on my feet. I spun around just as Niko slammed his palm to Ishiah's office door before he closed it on my brother's Rom nose. Nik gave Ishiah a stern warning look with a tilt of his head. I could tell he wasn't happy; was probably out of his corner stall the second Ishiah grabbed my neck at the bar. He'd been my shadow day and night since I was shot, it didn't matter than Nushi fixed me up so all that remained was another scar on my chest (and on the interior, scar tissue on my lung). His little brother almost died again. I was going to give Nik a heart attack one of these days with the stress I put him through.

"Deal with it," Ishiah snapped at him without introduction or explanation. He reached for Niko's arm, but my brother twisted it out of the grasp before it even touched his sleeve. Ishiah decided to point at the small leather couch across from the writing desk in the center. The room itself was a sparse as the rest of the peri's tastes and dimly lit. "Either you sit here and listen to this or you leave."

Niko still had his hand to the door and wasn't relenting. "Leave him alone."

"He's not a child. He needs to stop acting like one."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm right here, you assholes."

Ishiah turned to me, blue-gray eyes sharp, but at least they weren't flashing gold. "We're all hurting, Caliban. It's a lost to all of us, but you have to move on. And you have to stop scaring off my customers!"

"You're the one that hired a half Auphe," I grumbled.

"And I can just as easily fire him," Ishiah challenged. He stared me and my petulant glower down for a few moments, then his broad shoulders dropped and sighed. "Just go home."

"I don't want to," I admitted. Home was currently an overly gaudy hotel room that made me have horrible flashbacks to when Darkling high-jacked my body and murdered a werewolf in a luxury suite bathroom. Not that I told anyone about that...except for Cassie. Niko, also, didn't appreciate the fact that my favorite hobby at the moment was slouching on the couch in front of the flat screen in the dark with the curtains drawn. 'Home' left me nothing to do. 'Home' made me think about her.

"Then stop sulking and do your job," Ishiah lectured. He huffed out another sigh and turned from the room, walking around Niko. I was surprised he didn't force me out. Maybe he did like me despite myself. "You aren't the only one who lost something through all this."

With that he left, then I left before Niko could come up with anything great and inspiring to say following after my boss. I worked through the night, stayed until closing. It made me a little nostalgic for the days when I closed up the bar for Meredith, before the Auphe slaughtered her that was. Except I wasn't alone these days. Niko waited with his books in the dim half-light of the bar. Ishiah fiddled around with papers in his office with Robin, who'd shown up half way through my shift, chatting away –I could hear them from behind the bar, but didn't bother to decipher the words. I just counted my blessings they weren't gratuitous moans. Even Samyael lingered, putting great effort into menial tasks that usually took me minutes to finish. All eyes on me.

I gave up when I finished putting the glasses away and walked out without a word. Niko would follow. Robin would stalk me tomorrow with some lame excuse and an embellished adventure or two for me not to listen to. And I would go to work when the sun set. Another day, just like the last and the one before that. Like nothing had changed.

But in the silence of my hotel room, sounds of Niko's uneven slumber in the next bed over, I could feel her. If I stilled my mind, I could hear her heart beating. Sometimes thundering in the quick step of the chase or the hunt and sometimes a tremble so faint I feared it would sputter to a stop. I could feel her, but I could touch her and that pissed me off.

I contemplated traveling to her more than once as the days turned into weeks and the weeks into months. Promised myself I could endure Tumulus long enough to knock her out and drag her back to me, but the truth was...the kick was I was scared. Scared I wouldn't come back. Scared I couldn't find her or couldn't convince her and then I'd be lost. Lost in that hell with those bastards on my heels. And that's what kept me there, lying in my bed night after night. From a hotel room pillow top to the springy mattress from our old apartment that we shipped to our new one, just staring at the exposed ceiling.

I could still hear Niko in the next room. The partitioned walls of our new digs not reaching the rafters of the converted warehouse. I could still hear his restless sleep, knew when he came to my door to listen and make sure I was still there. I wouldn't leave him, but that didn't stop me from wishing for it all to go away. Wishing for that sensation of her blood in mine to dissipate and fade like they claimed old wounds did. Wishing to forget everything that was Castiella. And why couldn't it be that simple? Just to forget everything.

Idle thoughts could be dangerous in that way.

"Cal?" Niko knocked softly on my door, one evening as empty as any other. He eased the door open and peered in at me, sprawled out on my bed unmoving other than to continue tossing my throwing knives at the wall across my bed. He didn't even scold me for defacing our new home. "Promise is here. She might have a job for us," and when I didn't reply. "Get your ass out of bed now. If we take this one it could be extremely dangerous and you need to pay attention."

"What's the monster of the week this time?"

"Nepenthe. They seem to be draining the local high seats to various preternatural races."

"Never heard of them."

There was a tense pause, making me look over at my brother. His features were taut, long nose flaring just the slightest bit. I sat up on my bed. "Then get up and get to the kitchen. The last thing we need his you getting bit by one."

I rolled my eyes, but reluctantly got up. Right now the last thing I needed was Niko kicking my ass. "Fine. How much are they paying?"

Niko sighed and walked away. Oh well. I was going to have to help whether I wanted to or not, because Nik would probably still take the job and I wasn't about to let him run off on his own to fight something that might bite his head off. The distraction might be cathartic anyway. Another adventure for the Leandros brothers.