Act II Scene 9

Two weeks later, Saturday morning, Patrick, Agustin, Dom and Doris are at the diner for an early breakfast.

Dom: So there is this one guy who's been coming by a few times a week, and, yeah, he's...hot, but every time I'm about to ask him out, I think about all the hours I would be wasting when I should be working on scheduling, promotion, coming up with new recipes, hiring more food prep guys, expanding the hours...I have like a million things I have to do, and being in a relationship just isn't on that list right now.

Patrick: So you basically haven't had sex for, like, months now?

Agustin: Oh, he's had sex. Trust me. Those fucking walls are thin!

Dom: I'm talking about what you guys have, you know, the taking time to make a connection, being there for someone when they want you to be...

Doris: Bleh. That's highly overrated my friend.

Patrick: Oh no. Trouble in paradise with Malik? I hope not...he's such a nice guy.

Doris: No, everything's 'perfect' in paradise, and Malik is still the 'angel' you all think him to be. But man, sometimes these fucking relationships can suck the energy right out of you. The world has really changed my friends, when it's the women who wish you guys would just stop PMSing and stop talking about feelings. What is with modern men and feelings? Seriously, I sometimes just want to come home, have a beer and watch TV. Do I honestly have to talk about how my day was? Do I have to pretend to care about how his was?

Dom: I just don't understand how he has put up with you for this long. The man is a fucking saint.

Doris: Yeah well I don't think what he had me do to him in bed last night would qualify him for sainthood...

Dom: Alright, just...that's enough information thank you.

(Agustin fake shudders and pulls a face)

Agustin: Ugh...straight sex. Just the thought is putting me off my food.

Doris: There was nothing straight about it, my friend. You might have even learnt a thing or two...

Dom: Doris!

(Patrick and Agustin laugh)

Doris: Anyway, back to the lack of your love life. Seriously. I've never seen you this happy, but you can take a moment or two to ask cute-guy out and the business will still be there the next day.

Dom: I know. And I probably should get on it but I am really fucking happy right now. I'm finally doing what I wanted to do, and it's actually working which is a fucking miracle. I mean I'm not making a profit yet, but...people like my chicken! How great is that!

Patrick: It is SO great. We knew you could do it. But Doris is right. You never know, this guy could be the love of your life, right?

Agustin: Jesus. There is nothing more nauseating than a starry-eyed romantic 'in love' preaching the good word to the uninitiated.

Patrick: Excuse me? You can talk. We've all seen you around Eddie so you can act cynical and tough but...

Agustin: At least we're not joined at the hip and...

Patrick: We're not joined at the hip any more than you two are! You work together too!

Agustin: Yeah, but we don't live together, spend every waking and sleeping moment together...

Patrick: I'm here without him right now aren't I?

Agustin: Yeah, but only because he's at some boondoggle in Vegas with the other corporates, right?

Patrick: That's not true! We said today was just going to be us guys, and Doris of course, and I would have still been here without him even if he was home.

Agustin: Right. As if you would let him out of your sight...

Patrick: What's that supposed to mean?

Agustin: Nothing...

Patrick: He's out of my sight right now! He's in fucking Vegas.

Agustin: Relax, I didn't mean it like that. I just meant that you don't like being away from him. You guys are just, very...clingy. It's sweet, Ok. I didn't mean it the way you think I meant it. I was just joking, you know. That you two are so in love that you can't be away from each other. It was a joke about how GOOD things are. Not about...

(everyone falls silent. Patrick sighs loudly)

Dom: Paddy...

Patrick: No, I know. I keep expecting you guys to talk shit about Kevin, even though you haven't, so I should just calm the fuck down. I'm sorry. I get very over-protective of him.

(another silence. Patrick turns to Agustin)

Patrick: And you're also right, we do spend a lot of time together, and I'm sure one day we'll be so sick of each other we'll jump at the chance to get away for a few hours, but right now, I like being with him, and he likes being with me, so...you will just have to get used to it, and if our happiness makes you nauseous with envy?...suck it.

(Agustin laughs)

Agustin: Ok buddy. I have my own little bubble of happiness, from which I do suck quite regularly I will have you know. And the only thing I'm envious of is that your rich boyfriend is going to buy you a little love nest on a pretty beach. Now THAT makes me nauseous.

Dom: What? He's buying you a house?

Patrick: No! He's not buying me anything. We just fell in love with the area on his birthday trip and we talked about getting a place there. But if we did, we'd be buying it together. He's not buying it FOR me.

Doris: Why don't I ever get to meet a sugar daddy? Dom had Lyn, you've got Kevin...my boyfriend works for the fucking city!

(Patrick laughs)

Patrick: He's not my sugar daddy. For a start, he's only five years older than me...

Dom: In years maybe, but in maturity...

Patrick: AND... also, you guys keep saying how rich he is, but I can hold my own.

Agustin: Yeah, but he MADE his money the honest way. You're going to get yours from mommy and daddy.

Patrick: Look who's talking! And, by the way, I work for the same company as he does. In five years time I could be making the same money as he does now. It's true that he climbed the ladder fast, but I'm not doing too badly myself you know.

Dom: You know we love you Paddy, but...management? I just can't see you as a leader of people. Kevin now, he's got that confidence and swagger, but you? Would anyone take you seriously?

(Patrick laughs)

Patrick: You are all such assholes. I do know how to behave at work, AND I'm good at my job, so I repeat...suck it.

Doris: So how come you're not in Vegas with Kevin? Were wives not invited?

Patrick: Ha Ha. As a matter of fact they weren't. I think it's going to be a lot of big swinging dicks partying with show girls while they cut advertising and marketing deals with secret handshakes in shady corners. Wives would kind of crush the vibe.

(Agustin grimaces)

Agustin: Sounds fun.

Doris: Talking of marketing, did you guys see the article about Dom in SF Weekly? Didn't he look cute?

Patrick: Oh my god it was amazing.

Dom: It wasn't an article, barely a paragraph, but yeah, good for business.

Agustin: Did Brady hook you up? That's a useful contact to have.

Dom: Err..I don't think it was Brady. Different guy came for the interview. But...I never questioned how it happened. Did you put a word in, Paddy?

(Patrick pulls a face)

Patrick: Err...no. I haven't spoken to Richie since the haircut.

Agustin: Thank god. We didn't want to ask and open that can of worms, but it's good to see you being smart.

(Patrick looks at Agustin, frowning)

Patric: And I was going to say that he and Brady aren't together any more so I don't think my connections would have had anything to do with it. But I'll ask Richie tomorrow, when I see him for breakfast.

(there is a moment of silence)

Dom: You're seeing Richie tomorrow?

Patrick: Yes, I'm meeting a friend tomorrow for breakfast, much as I am meeting friends this morning. For breakfast.

Agustin: And does Kevin know that while he is partying with Vegas showgirls, you are having breakfast with Richie?

(Patrick raises his eyebrows)

Patrick: Yes he knows. Why? Do YOU have a problem with it?

Agustin: Ok, let me ask the question differently. And is Kevin ALRIGHT with you having breakfast with Richie while he is in Vegas?

Patrick: Why shouldn't he be?

Dom: Paddy, that's not an answer.

Patrick: You guys are going to have to get over this Richie thing that you think I have.

Doris: Patrick I haven't witnessed it first hand like these two, but the way it's been described to me, it sounds like Richie is the fucking kryptonite to your superman. I wouldn't mess with that my friend. Don't go begging for trouble.

Patrick: Kryptonite? Really? I though I was the comic-book video-playing geek. I'm actually weirdly impressed while greatly insulted at the same time.

Dom: I would listen to Doris. She may be incredibly annoying, but she's usually right.

Doris: Thank you Dom. I love you too. And it's not a bad thing to admit we have 'areas of weakness' that we should stay away from. As a member of the medical profession, I wouldn't advise an alcoholic to take a wine-tasting tour of the grape-growing regions of fucking France, right?

Patrick: Let's just change the subject shall we? Much as I appreciate your concern and advice..oh wait a minute...actually I don't.

(Agustin, Dom and Doris look at each other, while Patrick concentrates on eating his breakfast. Agustin shrugs.)

Agustin: Ok Paddy. Let's change the subject. Let's get back to what Malik made Doris do to him last night. I'm intrigued...

Dom: Oh god. I think I'm going to throw up.

Doris: I'm telling you...I almost did last night.

(Dom and Agustin laugh. Patrick smiles, chewing his lip)

End of Act II Scene 9.