Chapter Twenty-One: The Insomniac Sexual Paradigm

Author's Note: Warning to avid readers, this chapter really pushes Sheldon's threshold (if you get the idea) and I'm keeping him in character as much as possible. Those who believe Sheldon lacks in sexual arousal should stop reading NOW. Read and review those who are able to keep reading. The chapters will increase in maturity.

Sheldon laid in bed one evening after dinner and his nine o'clock curfew had come quicker than what he'd hoped. Keeping with his normal routine, he vowed a life of strictness to it, but the last events had given him a spiff of insomnia. It'd been a month since Kate had bought the Batmobile—or at least the likeness of it, but the likeness was so close (minus the size, for the car was a great dealer smaller) to the actuality that Sheldon had nicknamed the Batmobile, humming the theme for Batman whenever Kate drove him to work.

Sheldon couldn't figure out what kept him awake; glancing at his alarm clock, it was thirty minutes until eleven; surely, he'd had fallen asleep. But something kept him awake, something lurked in his mind, and he reflected on the possibilities for the cause of his abrupt insomnia. Sheldon sat up.

He'd do a log of things that would have kept him awake from the past experiences, eliminate the unlikeliest of possibilities and the remaining variable would be the solution to his equation. Sheldon smiled; he loved math and science, so what better time to do it than at 10:30, especially when this was the only solution he could find temporarily until the actual solution could be found through mathematical and scientific phenomena.

He folded his covers away from his lap and stepped out of his bed, not before slipping on his house shoes. He robed his top half with the matching plaid of his pajamas and walked out of the room, closing the door as he did so. A month of living with Kate had been pleasant and although he trusted Kate enough with the solace of his home, he still kept the usual confidence that no one was allowed in his bedroom, especially without his supervision.

He entered the living room; Kate was not there, but of course, he assumed greatly that she was now asleep in her own room. Sheldon reflected how quickly things had changed; Leonard had wasted no time in leaving the apartment and gathering his belongings to share a room with his attractive neighbor. Sheldon didn't miss Leonard—for hell sake, he was right across the way in case he needed to speak to him. But there was a good difference in having a male roommate in the household than a female companion; for instance, Sheldon was always quadruple checking the bathroom door to make sure it was locked, rather than the double checking he did when Leonard was here. Sheldon chuckled to himself; he didn't think Kate would burst through the door with flaming guns but the fact remained she was a woman, he was a man, and the privacy was extra important.

Sheldon cleaned off the grease board with a spray and a rag; the eraser had long been used too much from his recent hypotheses and equations proven right (as always) and he was more than willing to clean it for yet another debatable problem. He set up a hypothesis that his insomnia was caused by a plausible variable.

He thought for a minute and wrote down in capital letters 'BATMOBILE'. He considered it but marked it out entirely. Why did the car have anything to do with his worries? He made a soft breathy laugh because it amused him so to think that he even considered as a possibility.

He thought for another minute and scribbled Caltech: enemies. He nodded. Yes, those were always his possibilities. They bothered him; Sheldon would kill them if it didn't mean going into jail and having to use the damnable toilet/sinks for relief and washing hands. He shuddered at the idea.

Another idea came to him and he wrote Absence of Leonard. He even considered that Leonard's regular absence from his apartment was difficult; he seldom had any time with him. Leonard had opted to be with Penny as a roommate and since the two were a couple and in love (or so Leonard and Penny agreed) they were always together. Leonard never took Sheldon to work because that was Kate's responsibility and she did it without complaint or that familiar exasperation that his friends shared.

Sheldon's face became one of realization when he wrote down the next idea that came to him: "Kate". Even as he finished writing, he had said her name in the softest of tones, gentle, quiet…he felt a shudder for just saying it had made his spine ever so lightly quiver with what…what was it? Sheldon frowned. Good, another equation to figure out, just as soon as he figured this one out first!

Sheldon sighed. The absence of an answer lurked beneath the words written on his board. So far he'd listed only three: the enemies from Caltech, which were but not limited to Leslie Winkle and Kripke; Leonard's absence in the apartment, and Kate's name. Sheldon frowned. He couldn't figure it out just by staring at the board so underneath he listed the reasons as to why they'd keep him from his REM sleep.

The Caltech pair were easy: 'Consistent need to drive me crazy'. Yeah, that seemed like a really good reason. Sheldon wrote underneath Leonard's name: 'Disruption of routine'. However when he came to Kate's name, he couldn't discern the possibility. He frowned.

"Drat!" He said aloud. "Why is this so hard?"

He sighed and capped the top of the marker to its sharpie. He had to consult someone. The only thing with Kate he could figure that would make her be his source of insomnia was that she didn't share his love of science. Something clicked in the brilliance of his mind, however as Sheldon rushed to his desk, opened his laptop and turned it on. It powered up in minutes and Sheldon was on the webcam; he would skype his female counterpart, the one that loved science as he did.

Surprisingly, she picked up.

Amy appeared in the computer, looking tired, but still awake, none the less.

"Sheldon?" she said, her eyes narrowing. She didn't have on her glasses and she seemed to be on her couch, as her kitchen was just behind her. She wore a night shirt.

"Hello, Amy," said Sheldon. "I'd ask the obvious question of 'are you awake' but it's more than obvious that it is so."

"Of course I am awake," Amy returned. She shrugged. "Why are you?"

"Insomnia has stolen my REM sleep for the time being," Sheldon stated confidently, "However, I intend to recover it. I'm in the middle of deciphering an equation that would explain the reason for my insomnia and recently, I've hit a snag, so to speak."

Amy nodded with understanding.

"I have that problem as well from time to time," Amy returned. She smiled. "It's nice to hear from you."

"I'd presume it is," Sheldon responded, smiling as well. "How have you been?"

Amy was half-surprised at the concern in his voice.

"Generally, I've been fine. Thanks for asking." She said. "And you?"

"Other than the aforementioned insomnia, I've been fine," Sheldon said. He raised an eyebrow. "Funny, that's normally what Kate says."

"Ah, how is that beautiful, beautiful woman?" Amy asked sweetly.

"I'd presume she's fine as well; she's asleep in her bedroom."

Amy nodded but didn't seem to come up with anything to say to that. She looked a little sad but her smile returned.

"Sheldon, may I ask you something?"

"You already have but you may ask another," Sheldon returned.

Amy's eyebrows scrunched together as though she was trying to figure out just what the question would be. A few seconds passed and she sighed.

"I was trying to think of something clever to say, but evidently, that moment has passed. Sheldon, I would like to pose a question that I've found to be quite endeavoring." Amy said.

Sheldon was interested.

"Of course, ask away."

"You and I have known each other for quite some time," Amy stated. "It would be most likely that you understand me from an intellectual standpoint whereas others 'get' me, so to speak, from a different standpoint. Therefore, I would more likely accept anything you have to say before anyone else's opinions are considered."

"Amy, I believe you're trying to stipulate me to a very important and perhaps even meaningful question so why not skip the play-by-play and get right to the point?" Sheldon asked gently.

"Alright," said Amy. "Would it be invasive if I asked if you and Kate had something together?"

It was Sheldon's turn to look confused.

"What do you mean by 'something'? Do you mean a shared item, because if that's the case, you should be notified immediately that Kate and I have been sharing a lot of things for the past month: the bathroom, the kitchen, the living room, not to mention the apartment as a whole? We also share…"

"Sheldon, that's not what I'm talking about," Amy said. She smiled though.

"Okay, then clarify," Sheldon returned, crossing his arms on the desk.

"Do you wish to date Kate?" asked Amy directly.

Sheldon hadn't even considered that.

"I've never considered it," said Sheldon.

"Does she wish to date you?" Amy asked.

To this, Sheldon scoffed, saying, "Amy, how am I really supposed to know that? I admit I'm smart enough to know a lot what people are thinking but I'm still waiting on that advancement when my mind is linked telepathically to all you. It sure would relieve me of having to read body language."

"I just wanted you to know that if you did want to date her, it's okay with me," Amy said suddenly.

Sheldon shook his head.

"But I don't want to date her," he stated. "Even if the situation proposed itself, why would your blessing matter to me?"

"We are an ex-couple," Amy said factitiously. "Apparently the social paradigm states that if an ex-partner is uncomfortable with him or her dating a friend of the circle then one must not do such interactions. In the case that a woman or man does date the mutual friend, one can receive a blessing and therefore relieve the ex-partner and the mutual friend of any auspicious feelings towards them or one another."

Sheldon crinkled his nose.

"Who led you to believe that?" asked Sheldon.

Amy shrugged, saying, "Stuart was telling me that you and Kate, and I quote, 'definitely have a thing together'."

Sheldon shrugged this time.

"I wouldn't take what Stuart says too literally or figuratively. He's neither a doctor nor a scientist so what he says is moot when compared to fact or proven data."

"Actually, Stuart has plenty of interesting things to say," Amy responded smoothly. "In fact, he and I were at a museum…"

"I'm sorry, Amy," Sheldon said suddenly, "but that doesn't interest me."

"I'm confused," Amy replied. "The museum trip does not interest you or my activity with Stuart does not interest you?"

Sheldon considered it and said, "Both, actually."

"Oh," said Amy. She paused. "Well, then, this conversation has suddenly taken an awkward turn. Anyway"—she cleared her throat and continued on—"Stuart was giving me a rather juicy bit of gossip that he's been watching you and Kate when you all are at the comic book store. He says that she smiles at you."

"Of course Kate smiles at me," Sheldon said tiredly. "She enjoys my company, just as I enjoy yours and you enjoy mine, and I enjoy hers."

"That was a lot of pronouns," Amy said, smiling. "It was amusing."

"I know, I agree," Sheldon said. He chuckled a little afterwards.

"Stuart says it's a different smile," Amy stated. She looked up at the ceiling for a thoughtful minute and looked back at the screen, at him. "He says that she has 'the look'."

"The look?"

"I think he's referring to the action the pupils engage when one reveals sexual attraction to a possible partner, the pupils will dilate," said Amy. "In fact, I've done my own observations of Kate's interactions with you and I've noticed that she has the regular habit of biting her lip. One must think Kate is attracted to you in some shape or form; the intellectual attraction is mutual."

Amy winked at him. Sheldon shifted but not uncomfortably. He found Amy's mind very beautiful as she had found his to be as well. The two acknowledged their past relationship with liking and thoughtfulness. The quiet between them had become almost welcoming but it didn't solve Sheldon's insomnia.

"I actually have a posing question," Sheldon said. "My insomnia must suffer from three identifiable variables. If you don't terribly mind, I'd like to circle back and make a segue to the initial cause of calling on you so late."

"Oh right," Amy said. "Go on."

He lifted the laptop and placed it on the coffee table in front of the board where Amy could read the three factors: Caltech enemies, Leonard, and Kate.

"Well," said Amy, "your enemies at Caltech, I'd believe, would be the least possible reasons for your lack of gaining sleep; they've never prevented it before."

"Most assuredly so," Sheldon said. He erased the first option.

"As for Leonard, my opinion rests that although you probably miss the lil' guy, you can sleep without him in your apartment; after all, if this was such a big reason, you'd have had insomnia a long time ago, especially since Kate has been in the apartment for a month," said Amy. She shrugged on the screen. "Therefore, that leaves Kate."

Sheldon looked at her.

"That's where I'm stalled," he said, circling her name. He pursed his lips with confusion and utter concentration.

"I'd like to propose a theory," Amy said.

Sheldon sat in his spot on the couch and pulled the laptop towards his direction. Amy smiled.

"Maybe your reflections of Kate have changed?"

"How would that affect my sleep?" Sheldon asked.

"Maybe it's not your sleep itself; are you by any chance having dreams?" Amy asked.

Sheldon immediately twitched. He did have dreams, dreams that made him feel both refreshed and uncomfortable. He'd sleep with some aggravation in his body and when he awoke, he felt relieved. During his dreams…oh boy.

"Amy, I'm not comfortable with talking to you about my dreams," Sheldon said.

"Sheldon, we've known each other a long time and by extension, if anyone can figure this out, it's probably me. After all, between all your friends, I'm the smartest one," Amy said, grinning proudly. She leaned forward generously and said, "Tell me about them."

Sheldon hesitated.

"Well, the dreams are part of the reason I'm afraid to sleep," Sheldon muttered.

"Really? Are they nightmares?"

"That's an answer with the contradictory answers of 'yes' and 'no," Sheldon responded. He glanced behind him to be sure that Kate wasn't in the room.

"In them," he said quietly, "I'm in my bedroom but it's not just me. It's someone else."

"A robber?" Amy asked.

"Of course not," said Sheldon. "I'm comfortable in my bedroom. Naturally, my mind registers that this is a place of safety. The dark shadow appears and it's Kate, except…" he stopped himself and looked at his computer. "Amy, I really am not comfortable with talking about this to you. I feel that appealing to the social protocol that not only would you and I become distant in talking about this, you would, as being my ex-girlfriend, become inconceivably jealous of…"

"Are you having sexual dreams with Kate?" Amy asked suddenly.

Sheldon's hesitant answer was Amy's answer.

"First," Sheldon said slowly, he licked his lips uncomfortably, "I'm not having dreams with the person, but about. In order to have dreams with another human being, one has to fall asleep simultaneously while the other does as well, which I've only ever seen happen in 'Inception', starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet. Second…"

"Oh come off it, Sheldon, you're having dreams about Kate and the pleasure you're receiving from it feels not only guilty but, if I can only assume, satisfactory." Amy said, grinning as she said so.

"Well, I'm glad you are comfortable with talking about this," said Sheldon. He shuddered. "It's a wonder how my mind is copulating with the imaginative Kate anyway. I'd never engage in such a practice."

Amy smirked.

"Given the past circumstances and the youtube video I've seen of you taking your pants off in a crowd of scientists, I gather the contrary," said Amy smoothly.

Sheldon frowned.

"I was under the influence of alcohol," he said. "It was Penny's manipulation of my fainting episodes that coaxed me into even experimenting with its affects; assuredly, it's less likely to happen."

Amy shook her head, still grinning.

"But back to the point," said Amy, leaning back. "You obviously have feelings for Kate. Just as Stuart theorized, and it goes beyond intellectual stimulation. She stimulates more than that."

"Forgive my cursing but poppycock," Sheldon replied. "I'm a highly evolved humanoid and…"

"Blah, blah, blah," Amy said, smirking. "You may be highly evolved but you're human, like Leonard and Penny, and me. My only regret is that you didn't feel that way towards me, which wouldn't have been too bad."

Sheldon raised his chin proudly.

"I'm a man of science, not one that succumbs to their baser urges."

"So you do admit you have urges," Amy said, her voice almost a giggle.

"I'm done talking about this," Sheldon said with finality. He shook his head when she pointed and laughed (her teasing side that resembled much of Penny, kicking in). Sheldon shut down his laptop, feeling frustrated. Still, he turned to his grease board.

That stipulation of being sexually attracted to Kate was wrong. Surely, it had to be. He frowned though. That's what he feared about going to bed, going to sleep, letting his mind succumb to the imaginative part of his brain. He was sure his intelligence was so dedicated to science and the developmental acknowledgement that confirmed string theory but evidently, his mind was loosely picked by the idea of being in bed with Kate.

Sheldon frowned. He dared not write 'sexual attraction' or 'dreams' to Kate's name. That only acknowledged it, but by even not writing it on the board, he was confirming the obvious. It was definitely a problem to which he'd solved, but the results were against his favor.

He looked in the direction where he slept, but also where Kate slept. His mind drifted with conscious that if Kate was—as Stuart theorized—attracted to him intellectually, physically, and sexually then procuring an action as lucid as sex would be easier than when Leonard worked so hard to get Penny. It'd be easier but Sheldon frowned. No…way…in hell…

Sheldon sighed. He'd be lost in this insomnia until he could figure out a way out of the urges. He looked to the force greater than himself: Star Trek. Quietly, he mentally chanted the words of Kohlinar. It worked.

He went into his room and shut the door, then he laid back down, after taking off his shoes. He then began to dream.