Chapter 21
"You are late, Severus" the cold voice cut through the air. Quiet. Dangerous.
"My Lord" Severus dropped to one knee before the Dark Lord. Waiting. He knew he would be punished for his lateness in responding.
"Two hours ago, I summoned my Death Eaters. Two hours" the Dark Lord stated calmly. Severus kept his head dipped, couldn't make eye contact, not yet. He had to be convincing. "Crucio" the Dark Lord whispered menacingly, aiming his wand at the kneeling Death Eater. Pain tore through every fibre of his body, every nerve on fire as the Dark Lord held the Unforgivable Curse, letting Severus know his anger at being ignored. Severus grunted, using all his self-control not to give in to the pain, not to cry out. Just as suddenly, the Curse was lifted and the cloud of pain started to dissipate.
"On your feet" the Dark Lord commanded. Severus hurried to obey, taking deep breaths to steady himself, "I believed you to have left my service, Severus. You know what would happen if that was the case"
"My Lord, I have not left your service. Never" Severus tried to assure his old master.
"I have heard from the others that you never went to Azkaban. That you have worked closely, with Dumbledore" he spat out the name as if it tasted foul.
"My Lord, I have kept myself close to the old man in your absence. Gathering information, should you return. Your last instruction to myself was to take up the position of Potions Master at Hogwarts, to spy on Albus Dumbledore. This I have done" Severus explained calmly.
"Then, he truly believes you to be loyal to him?" the Dark Lord questioned.
"He does, my Lord. He has taken me into his confidence" Severus assured him.
"Dumbledore believed I would return?" the Dark Lord asked curiously.
"He suspected so, my Lord. So I held my position to await your return"
"He was right to suspect, Severus. I have taken steps to protect myself. I have gone further down the road to immortality than any wizard has ever dared to venture" he explained casually. "Yet, in thirteen years, you never sought me out yourself" he added, turning his gaze upon Severus once more.
"I believed it would be of more use to gather information, my Lord. To keep myself close to Dumbledore" Severus continued. The Dark Lord eyed him curiously, as if he were still undecided.
"And you did not help Quirrell obtain the Philosopher's Stone?" he questioned.
"I did not, my Lord. Something I deeply regret. When I learned after the event it was yourself, well I only wish I had known then"
"Mmm. Perhaps I should have revealed myself to you. Quirrell was mediocre at best, and not at all suitable, unfortunately" the Dark Lord added, thinking over that fiasco.
"I understand why you did not reveal yourself then, my Lord. I only wish it could have been different"
"Yes. Very well, Severus" dismissing this line of enquiry. "Will Dumbledore be calling upon the Order?" he asked.
"He has begun to gather his former Order members already, my Lord" Severus informed him.
"Has he requested your presence among them, Severus?"
"He has asked me to join the Order of the Phoenix, my Lord. He believes I would be well placed to act as his spy" Severus informed him with a raised eyebrow, trying to convey a certain level of amusement at the idea. The Dark Lord laughed, low and menacing.
"Excellent, Severus. That is very fortunate indeed" the Dark Lord locked eyes with Severus, pushing his way into Severus' mind, a crude attempt to catch him off guard, to ensure that Severus was giving him the truth regarding his loyalties. Severus was prepared, careful to show him what he was looking for, tucking away any incriminating memories.
Obviously satisfied, the Dark Lord withdrew from Severus' mind with a grin
"Continue with your task, Severus" the Dark Lord instructed, "You will take your place in Dumbledore's Order, keep watch over the old man and his precious Harry Potter. The boy will not be my end. It is only a matter of time before I destroy him. That is clear, Severus. You must not harm him yourself, the boy must be destroyed by no one other than myself" the Dark Lord told him carefully.
"Of course, my Lord" Severus acknowledged, respectfully dipping his head to his supposed Master.
"Very good. Now, return to Hogwarts" he ordered calmly.
"As you command, my Lord" Severus stated, turning to make his way back out of the Manor, back to Hogwarts. Back to Dumbledore, to let the Headmaster know he has been accepted back into the Circle. The Dark Lord believed him to be his trusty spy, exactly as they had planned.
...
Severus sat at the small table in the kitchen, opposite his mother, sipping his tea in silence. Not a sound in the house, apart from the faint ticking of a clock in the hallway. Severus was confused. Another memory, after more than a month without seeing something new. But this one raised more questions than any of the others he had seen.
It wasn't something that would happen for a long time, Severus appeared much older than he was now. And Voldemort had apparently been absent and presumed dead for thirteen years. Yet it seemed he had found a way to return from death, taking steps to render himself immortal - surely those were plans he was putting into place now while the War was taking place.
On the surface, it looked as though Severus was a Death Eater, but the feelings that came along with the memory showed his allegiance was not there at all. He was there to spy on Voldemort. Which raised so many other questions - was he genuinely ever a Death Eater? The feelings he'd got when he saw himself take the Mark would suggest that he had been. But was it possible he had always been a spy? It would genuinely be an advantage for Dumbledore to have eyes and ears in the Dark Lord's ranks, but Severus didn't want to be that. He didn't want to be like them, even if it was an act. And surely that would put Lily in an enormous amount of danger, a Death Eater could not be associated with a Muggleborn. There couldn't even be a suspicion. No, he couldn't be a spy.
Right now, more than anything, he wished he knew when Dumbledore would return, he needed to show him this 'memory'. He needed to make sense of it all.
Severus kept huffing and sighing, frowning at the drink in front of him as he kept mulling over the events that had played out in his sleep.
"What is the matter, Severus?" his mother asked quietly
"Nothing" he replied, feeling his mother's eyes on him.
"Are you sure?" she asked.
"Just a weird dream. That's all" he stated, not wishing to discuss it with her.
"What are your plans for today?" she asked. That was unusual, she rarely asked him anything.
"Going to Lily's. We need to make a start on our Charms homework" he told her. He looked at her, to see her give a half-hearted nod, before she turned her attention to her own tea.
Severus quickly finished his drink, heading upstairs to retrieve his text book, parchment and quill. They had spent some time working, they'd already completed their Potions and Defence essays, Charms would be done today, before moving on to Transfiguration next week. He hoped that he would have some time alone with Lily to discuss the dream he'd had. As the summer had gone on, Mrs Evans had left them alone for longer periods of time, but she obviously not entirely trusting of two sixteen year olds.
With the necessary items safely in his bag, Severus headed back down the stairs, saying a quick 'Goodbye' to his mother, without getting a reply, and left his miserable house to make the short walk to see Lily.
...
Lily sat at the table waiting. Books and parchment scattered around. Today was a day they had set aside to work on one of their assignments, aiming to complete one a week instead of cramming them all together.
A knock at the door had Lily rushing to answer, she knew who would be on the other side.
"Good morning, Sev" she greeted brightly as she saw him, moving aside to let him in.
"Good morning" he replied as the door closed, dropping his bag to loop his arms around her waist, pulling her into a tight embrace, his lips finding hers as she gripped his shoulder to steady herself.
"Mum's upstairs" she whispered as she reluctantly pulled herself away. He smiled and nodded, letting her go to retrieve his bag. It was definitely difficult having her mother hovering nearby all the time, but she understood why she did it.
The two teenagers made their way through the house, back to the kitchen table to take their usual seats. Lily stacked her books into one neat pile, making room for Severus to put his own things out.
"I had another one last night" he said quietly as he set down his book.
"Another memory?" she asked, surprised by his statement, it had been weeks since the last one. "What happened?"
"It's the most confusing one yet" he admitted, meeting her gaze, "It involved You-Know-Who" he began. Lily drew in a deep breath.
"Is it something that's going to happen soon?"
"No, not for a while, maybe twenty years or so. I looked a lot older than I do now, but I don't know what year it was. One of the things he said to me is that he had returned after being presumed dead for thirteen years" he told her. She guessed she looked as confused as he did.
"So, if he was talking to you, you were a Death Eater then?" she asked.
"Well that's the thing. It looked like I was a Death Eater, but I don't think I was 'really'. I think I was working for Dumbledore. Spying. You-Know-Who only thought I was working for him" he explained.
"Well that's certainly complicated" she said, shaking her head, "Do you think you were spying the whole time?" she asked, that was certainly a far better thought than him genuinely being a murderous Death Eater.
"I honestly don't know. I don't think so. That first night the dreams started, I saw myself begging Dumbledore for help, and he was aware that I was a Death Eater" he said sadly.
"Oh" she said, her face falling in disappointment. "Why did you need his help?" she asked, he hadn't told her the details of all the dreams he'd had. She wasn't sure if he would tell her at all.
"To protect you, Lily" he said, looking away
"Me? Because I'm Muggleborn?" she asked. Surely all Muggleborns would be targets regardless, he would have known that before signing up with them. She watched him closely as he shook his head.
"No. Your son. The real target was your son. He believed your son would be the one to destroy him, so wanted to remove him as a threat while he was still an infant" he explained quietly. Lily stared at him, mouth open in shock. What could she say to that? He'd never mentioned a child before.
"You turned spy so Dumbledore would protect me and my son? He wouldn't have protected us otherwise?" that hardly seemed fair. Surely being on the side of light should have offered her some protection from Dumbledore without Severus acting as spy.
"I don't know, Lily" he whispered, "But turning spy was the right thing to do, wasn't it?" he asked, looking her right in the eye again.
"You're not thinking of joining just to spy, are you?" she asked him sharply, she knew how his mind worked. She knew he would do it if it meant she would be safe.
"No, Lily. I don't think it would be a good idea" he told her. Well, that was good, she really didn't want him pretending to be like that, it was too risky. Too dangerous. And she already knew that both of them ended up murdered by Voldemort anyway, so repeating some of the things he'd seen wouldn't be the best idea. What would be the point in letting things happen as they appeared in his dreams, they'd already done what they could to alter their reality as events cropped up.
"When is Dumbledore coming to see you again?" she asked him.
"I don't know. I wish I did though. I can give him this memory and he can take a look, see if he can understand it" he told her. Lily nodded.
"Maybe these memories will give Dumbledore some useful information about You-Know-Who. Almost like spying on him from afar, without having to actually put yourself face to face with him" she told him. He smiled then.
"Definitely safer this way. There was something interesting, that he said"
"You-Know-Who?"
"Yes" he nodded, "he said that he'd 'gone further down the road to immortality than any wizard had ever dared to venture'"
"He's trying to make himself immortal?" she asked. That was a terrifying thought.
"It seemed that way. And if he is, it must be something he's working on now, or he has done it already"
"How can anyone make himself immortal?"
"I have no idea, Lily. I wish I did. For the first time, I'm really hoping that more of these memories come through. Maybe it will give Dumbledore some clues to take him down" he told her.
"So, whatever he's done to stop himself dying, needs to be undone before he can be got rid of?" she asked, otherwise any 'death' he suffered would surely only be temporary, a delay. The Wizarding world would never truly be free from his terror if he could keep bringing himself back. Severus merely nodded. For once, she agreed with him, hoped that more memories would come to him, and they would be the key in helping Dumbledore get rid of Voldemort once and for all.
"Hello you two. It seems very serious in here" her mother stated as she wandered into the kitchen.
"It's nothing, Mrs Evans" Severus told her, obviously doing his best to sound reassuring. She didn't look convinced.
"Is everything ok?" she asked, shifting her gaze between the two of them.
"Everything's fine, Mum" Lily told her
"I've just been having some strange dreams, Mrs Evans. I was telling Lily about it" Severus told her, "But everything's fine"
"If you're sure" she said. The two friends nodded and smiled weakly, not planning on elaborating further. "Anyway, while you're both here, I need to talk to you" she sitting herself down at the table, "Don't worry, you're not in trouble" she said with a small chuckle, obviously seeing the scared looks on both of their faces. They both sighed in relief, "Petunia wants to have her boyfriend round for dinner, and I'd like you two to be there if you don't mind" her mother explained. Lily's jaw dropped again, she'd rather be in trouble than put herself and Severus through dinner with Petunia and her boyfriend.
"What has she told him, about me and Severus?" Lily asked, he couldn't know they were magical. Not yet. Not until they were getting married, Uurghh she promptly shut down that line of thought. Severus eyed her uncomfortably.
"She is told to tell people that you go to a school for gifted youngsters, he has already been told that. He will be told the same about you, Severus" she said, turning her attention to him. "I know it's difficult for you both. Please, both come" she asked. Lily nodded, she would have to be there regardless. She knew her sister would have told him they were freaks, she made it clear that was what she thought.
"I'll come, Mrs Evans" Severus finally told her, offering a small smile. Her mother looked relieved to say the least.
"Thank you, both of you. I only hope they will be on their best behaviour" she smiled, "I'll let the two of you get on with your homework then" she said, leaving the table and heading back off upstairs.
"Sorry, Sev" she whispered
"We'll survive" he told her, amused.
"Doesn't mean it's going to be fun" she said, "Or that we won't be called freaks" she added.
"I've been called worse. And at least I'll be with you. We'll get each other through it" he told her, reaching for her hand. She smiled then. Yes, whatever happened, they would be together. They would face whatever darkness the Universe sent their way as a team, whether that darkness took the shape of a certain Dark Lord, or a Miss Petunia Evans and her obnoxious boyfriend.