Chapter Twenty One: Sparks

"Did I drive you away?
I know what you'll say,
You say, "Oh, sing one we know",
But I promise you this,
I'll always look out for you,
That's what I'll do."

-Coldplay

xxXxx

Two figures sat alone on the top of a foothill that overlooked the camp below. Camp Jaha was busy with people, each of them going about their duties, from the older men and women to the younger kids, all living together peacefully. With the combination of Mountain dwellers and the original Camp Jaha residents, the camp had been expanded through the valley.

Roxanne's green-hazel eyes were thoughtful as she watched everything going on. But then her gaze strayed to the lone figure standing in the shadows of one of the trees near the northern watch tower. And she frowned.

"Do you think he's gonna be okay?" she asked Bellamy, who sat beside her.

Bellamy shrugged. "I have no idea. I don't think he's talked since…"

Roxanne looked away again, out towards the vast expanse of mountain ranges.

Three months had passed since the final battle against President Wallace. The older man, along with a few loyal followers, had been sent into exile, led by Lincoln and a few Grounders into the deserts.

The following day after the battle, Bradley had disappeared without a trace. At first, everyone was worried that she might have been captured, or worse, killed by one of the Mountain men. But Octavia had tracked Bradley's trail deep in the forests in the east, before losing it by some nearby streams whose waters flowed down from the mountains.

Roxanne had nearly been beside herself, worried sick for her best friend who hadn't even left a note scratched into the dirt for her or anyone.

Murphy, on the other hand, seemed to shut down. He withdrew from the others, keeping to himself. When Roxanne had tried reaching out to him, he had told her to fuck off and get lost.

Roxanne sighed. She almost didn't blame him. She knew if she had been more angry than scared, she would've probably said something similar to anyone who tried to talk to her. Like Bellamy.

She glanced over at him.

Ever since Bradley's disappearance, Bellamy had stayed by Roxanne's side. She didn't know why really, but she was grateful he had. Despite what had happened between them before, they had developed a tentative friendship, and nothing more.

Now she considered him to be someone she was close to, even though she would never be as close to another person like she was with Bradley.

Roxanne's chest ached a little at the thought of her best friend. She looked back down at Murphy, who was sharpening the end of a stick with his knife with a fearsome scowl on his face.

Where are you, Bradley? she thought, looking out into the distance again.

xxXxx

When she left, Bradley only told one person, and that was Clarke.

Clarke, naturally, had protested against the whole idea, especially the fact that she was sworn to secrecy.

"Please," Bradley had beseeched. "It's something I need to do."

"Then tell Roxanne at least…or tell Murphy," Clarke said, raising a brow.

"No." Bradley had shaken her head. "If I do, they won't let me go. And I need to…go."

"Why?"

Bradley had closed her eyes. "I need time alone."

"Is being alone really the answer?" Clarke had asked, taking Bradley's hand.

Bradley almost smiled then. "Maybe not. Goodbye, Clarke."

And when she left the tent, she was shocked to see Lincoln standing there, holding the reins to his horse which had saddled with a pack and rolled up blanket.

"How…?"

Lincoln had met her gaze. "I hope you find whatever you're looking for, Bradley. Come home when you're ready."

Tears had pricked her eyes. "Thank you."

After three months of being on her own, Bradley began to wonder if she'd ever find that thing she was looking for.

Her journey had taken her deep into the mountains to the east of Camp Jaha, where she found an old cave that she used as shelter, since it was big enough for her and her horse, which she had named Nyx because of its black coat.

Sitting alone at the entrance to the cave, Bradley watched as Nyx grazed by the river that cut between two mountains. The black mare flickered her tail and looked up, scenting the air with its mutated muzzle. The radiation had given her two muzzles instead of one, giving her the appearance of a split head.

Bradley sighed deeply, plucking at the grass. There were little white and blue flowers that bloomed near this river, but they weren't the same as the flowers by the stream her and…

Shaking her head, she tried to push away at the longing and sadness that seemed to weigh down her body. She missed Roxanne and Clarke, she even missed the others, but the one she missed the most… She tried not to think about.

You're breaking your promise, a little voice sneered at her.

No, I'm keeping it by staying away, she argued back.

But she knew that was a lie.

Don't make me lose you too, he had said.

And what did she do? She had run away because she needed to seek something that she couldn't even name. She had broken her promise and lost herself in the mountains and was alone with nothing but a horse for company.

Bradley's throat constricted and she shoved the hair from her eyes. It fell in uneven layers due to her cutting away at it, since some of it had been singed off by the fire.

Absently, she began tying little braids in the longer strands and put the blue and white flowers in her hair, hoping to distract herself.

And it worked, just for a little while.

When night came, Bradley led Nyx inside the cave and tied her to a large rock so she wouldn't wander. Used to the routine, the mare settled down by folding up her legs and laying down by the fire that Bradley had built.

So Bradley sat down and leaned against Nyx's shoulder, smiling a little when the mare snuffled her flower-filled hair. And slowly, her eyes drifted shut.

xxXxx

The minute he realized Bradley was gone, Murphy finally believed in the idea of someone losing their mind completely. For days he didn't sleep, he barely ate, all because he was set on one thing- finding her.

Three months later had left him with nothing but an ache and hollow feeling inside his chest.

At first he had been angry, furious that she had left without saying anything to him. But that anger had faded away quickly after the long days of being alone.

He sat day after day by their stream, amongst the mutated flowers, hoping she would suddenly appear and would run into his arms. But she never did.

So he stayed away from the others. He had even lashed out at Roxanne, even though he didn't mean to, not really.

Even now, he sat by the stream, digging furrows into the earth with the sharpened end of a stick. He ruined the banks but didn't dare touch the flowers.

"Murphy?"

The stick bit into the dirt a little harder. "Roxy."

Roxanne ignored his harsh tone before sitting down next to her. "You aren't the only one who misses her, you know," she said flatly. "You don't have to be such a dick about it."

He merely glared.

Roxanne snarled back. "She was my best friend before she was yours."

"Then why did she leave both of us?" he snapped.

"I…" Roxanne's shoulders slumped. "I don't know."

"That's. Not. An answer," he growled, stabbing the ground again.

Roxanne grabbed the stick and tossed it away before facing him. "Look, whatever the reason, she's gone but that doesn't mean she's gone for good. So for now, we have to do what we always do- keep going."

"Says who?" Murphy asked sarcastically.

"Says me," Roxanne stated before standing. She offered him a hand. "Come on. We're going on a hunt."

Murphy looked at the flowers swaying in the breeze before taking a breath and accepting Roxanne's hand up. "Fine."

xxXxx

Realization came to Bradley the moment she woke up.

Her nights were usually riddled with nightmares, of fire and blood, of her killing Cage and of people she loved dying.

But last night was different.

In the dream, she had been alone, much like she was now. She was injured and scared, unsure of where to go or where to do.

She had stumbled to the river by camp, trying to drink some water, and saw her reflection ripple.

"You can't keep blaming yourself for what happened," the reflection told her. "You can't change what happened either."

"I wish I could," she confessed.

"I know, but you can't. But there are people who rely on you, who love you, and you just left them."

"I can't go back now."

"You know you can. What you seek isn't going to be found out here. It'll be found inside."

"What do you mean?"

The reflection rippled one last time. "Forgiveness can't be found here. It's something you feel. Feel that, then go home."

"But how…"

But her reflection disappeared.

Bradley woke with a jolt, her mind racing.

Forgiveness, she thought.

Darting down to the river, she looked down at herself, long and hard. Her hair was tangled with braids and half-smashed flowers and her cheeks were streaked with dirt. Her body carried new scars and so did her mind. She traced her fingertips over her arms, then her healed leg, then lastly, her bullet wound.

Her breath hitched as she squeezed her eyes shut.

"What's done is done and I can't change that," she whispered. "I can't go back, but I can go forward."

When she opened her eyes, she met her gaze in the reflection of the water. "I forgive you," she told it. "No matter what I did before, I forgive…myself. I will learn and I will survive. And…I'll go home."

Tears fell silently down her face.

Then, with a whistle, she called out for Nyx and climbed onto the mare's back. She leaned against the horse's neck and whispered, "Take me back."

Whether the mare understood her or not, she still whinnied and took off, galloping back to Camp Jaha.

xxXxx

Everyone at the camp heard a horse galloping before they saw it. Sentries posted at the towers grew wary until one spotted who was approaching.

"It's Bradley!" Wells exclaimed, shocked.

Roxanne, who had been walking with Nyko, froze and turned.

Out of the forest came a large black horse with two muzzles, carrying a slender, wild-haired blonde on her back.

When Bradley slid off the mare's back, the two friends stared at each other, both of them unsure about what to say.

Roxanne was the one who broke the silence. "You're back," she said weakly.

Bradley's smile was as wobbly as Roxanne's voice. "Yeah. I'm back."

"For good?"

"For good."

Then they rushed into each other's arms, both laughing and crying at the same time before pulling apart.

"Don't ever run away like that again," Roxanne growled.

Bradley gave a watery laugh. "I won't. Promise."

Suddenly, a murmur rippled through the crowd that had gathered around the two girls. When it parted, it revealed Murphy, who stared at Bradley with disbelieving and wary eyes.

Bradley stiffened for a moment, her heart racing. She pulled away from Roxanne to face him.

Her gaze devoured him greedily, from his messy, long hair to the scar on his cheek from her knife, to the new rip in his jeans.

He stared back just as fervently, taking in the uneven hair, the dirt streaked clothes and cheeks, the trembling hands.

"Murphy," she breathed, barely above a whisper.

Then he was moving towards her, his eyes blazing, and she stayed rooted in the same spot, unsure of what he would do.

He stopped right in front of her so they were toe to toe, his stormy eyes meeting her pale blue eyes. He seemed to be at war with himself, which flickered across his face.

Bradley blinked before smiling very softly. "I missed you," she whispered so only he would hear.

And for a brief moment, his expression gentled and then his arms were around her and he pulled her close, his hands in her hair, his lips against hers.

Bradley nearly cried with relief when he held her close and wrapped her arms firmly around him before peppering kisses over his face and neck. "It's okay. I'm back. I won't go," she promised.

And the only response she got was a content sigh, which brushed against the nape of her neck as Murphy dropped his forehead against her shoulder.

And that simple sound was all she needed to hear.

They kept holding onto each other even when the crowd dispersed and the news of Bradley's return spread. The others, however, knew that they would get to see it for themselves.

But that was after she was done reuniting with Murphy.

xxXxx

Disclaimer: I do not own the 100.

Author's Note: Please review.