…

It took me 20 chapters to finally realize I was writing these things the hard way. Anyway, I'm so sorry this chapter took me so long. (I swear that at least half of the time I was gone I was actually busy.)

Trying asterisks this chapter instead of intrusive author's notes mid-sentence.

So, let's get this show back on the road!

Chapter 21 – Nighttime Mania

Octavian POV

Lacey bangs into our interview room even louder than last time. At least I'm awake so she doesn't scare me this time. I absolutely do not flinch at the racket behind me.

The blonde is wearing blue plaid pajama pants and a shirtwith some ridiculous mortal saying printed on the front. Mania is burning bright in her eyes. She sweeps wayward hair out of her face as she sits down at the table. Her laptop is flipped open before I can figure out what's going on. When I do I scowl.

"What are you doing down here with your miserable laptop now?" I ask. "Isn't it way too late to be interviewing us again?"

"No. This interview is happening and it's happening right now." She answers decisively.

Rachel stumbles out of the little alcove she's claimed as her room, rubbing her eyes.

"Please tell me that I've slept through most of today and it's one in the afternoon now, not one in the morning. There's no way that you're trying to conduct an interview at some ungodly hour, right?" She says, although we both know that the sun has not come up yet because I never wake up first.

"Sit down." Lacey snaps.

The other girl does.

"Alright, now let's get this thing started. PJOlvr4000 is tonight's first reviewer. They're wondering who you guys would marry." She reads.

Rachel shrugs. "I'm the Oracle now. I stopped thinking about those things around the time Percy and Annabeth finally got together."

"I'd marry Reyna." I say. This earns me disbelieving looks. I quickly amend, "for her power! I'd marry Reyna for her respected position and power!"

The girls share a look that makes me think they don't believe me. Thankfully, Lacey quickly moves us on.

"Fine. How many kids would you have? And what would their names and genders be?" She asks us.

My fellow captive sits back, clearly not participating in this line of questioning. I guess it's up to me to pacify the crazy girl, then.

"I'd have two children. They'd be named Ianus and Iovis. Both would be boys." I answer easily, even though I haven't spent a lot of time thinking about this at all.

Lacey grins. "Alright, then. loloree wants to know if you're glad you weren't ever charged for killing Gwen."

"What? I didn't kill Gwen!" I protest.

"Yes you did!" She argues. "Percy said so!"

"Percy. Said. What?" I ask in the most dangerous voice I can muster. That filthy Greek will pay for his hideous lie.

"He said you killed Gwen! Well… kind of." She amends.

"I'm going to wring his neck." I threaten. Then something collides with my head. I'm so startled that I forget my anger. I look over at Rachel, who is wielding a couch cushion and glaring at me.

"That's my friend you're making death threats to. You can stop or I can keep beating you with this." She says.

I sigh. "Fine."

"Good." Rachel tosses the cushion back in the general direction of the couch.

"Rachel, loloree's question for you is: did you have any say on what your cave looked like?" Lacey says, like nothing has happened.

"No." Rachel shakes her head. "It just sort of appeared without me even knowing it would. Fortunately, Apollo did a pretty good job."

"Our next reviewer is aLoki'dCap'sGirl. What are your guys' favorite foods?" Lacey reads off her screen.

Rachel grins. "Key lime pie."

"Shellfish pilaf tossed with pan-fried cheddar burger." I say, giving Rachel a condescending look. Mortals have no taste.

"Well then." Lacey says, blinking slowly. Once she's recovered, she asks. "Octavian, what's your family like?"

I shrug. "They're normal."

"How can they be normal? They live in a small Roman city in a hidden part of San Francisco protected by a legion of people who are partly immortal." Rachel says. Then she adds, "I'm assuming."

"That's pretty normal in the Legion." I point out.

"Right," she sighs, "I forgot about that."

I smirk smugly to myself. Finally, an argument I win.

"Do you like Annabeth?" Lacey questions suddenly.

I almost gag at the notion. Me, liking that awful, know-it-all blonde girlfriend of Percy Jackson? Disgusting.

Lacey's eyebrows draw together in a frown. "What's wrong with Annabeth? I mean, I don't want you breaking up Percabeth but you can't tell me you don't at least find her a little bit attractive. I mean, she's pretty."

"I just can't find anyone attractive when they have such an awful personality." I say, resisting the urge to stick my nose up in disdain.

I'm fixed with an incredulous look. Rachel rolls her eyes and props her chin on her elbow next to me.

"Annabeth has an awful personality… okay… then…" The blonde is at a loss for words. I can't understand why. "Rachel, Cap'sGirl asks: What is your school like?"

Rachel shrugs noncommittally. "It's okay. It's not as terrible as I thought, but not as cool as public school either."

"Octavian, why- oh, sorry." Lacey's expression morphs into one of confusion. "Why… how… how is there only one Italian restaurant in New Rome?"

"I don't know. That's just how things are. We don't have that many restaurants in New Rome. It's a small community and people don't go out to eat too often." I say.

"Why not?" She asks.

"Because home-cooked meals are a thing to be cherished."

Lacey scoffs. "No. Meals you don't have to cook are something to be cherished."

"Only a mortal would say that." I sigh.

"Hey! It's not my fault that the Legion doesn't teach you to conserve energy." She retorts.

"Why would-" I'm rudely cut off by my interviewer.

"Oh, look, a question!" She exclaims. "Cap'sGirl is wondering how long you've been augur."

"I've been augur since it was discovered that I had the gift of prophecy when I was ten." I tell her. That event was one of the proudest of my life.

"Okay. And now, Rachel, a question for you. Star Wars or Star Trek?"

"Definitely Star Wars." Rachel answers.

I scowl. "Are you kidding? Star Trek is way better."

"Moving on, Cap'sGirl wants to know what your favorite songs are." Lacey reads off her laptop.

"My favorite song is 'Psychosis' by Amanda Jayne." Rachel says.

I stay silent, hoping they'll forget about me. Lacey intertwines her fingers and rests her chin on them as she leans forward.

"Octavian, what's your favorite song?" She asks, grinning like a mental patient.

I frown. "Who cares?"

"Everyone now. What's the secret? Are you embarrassed?" She asks.

"No!" I protest.

"Then what is it? You have to tell us eventually." Lacey says smugly.

The last thing I want to do is tell her what my favorite song is. Maybe I should lie? But what if she knows that I'm lying? Gods, I can just imagine how that would go over. She would never let it go. Her grin is growing, though.

I give in. "It's 'Trouble' by Taylor Swift."

"Ha! Loser!" Lacey exclaims, losing any semblance of professionalism. She squishes her nose up as she dissolves into fits of laughter.

"Hey!" I yelp.

Lacey wrestles her emotions under control and stops laughing.

"Come on. You can't expect not to react to an answer like that." She says.

I frown. "You don't have to react so loudly."

"Yes, yes I do. Now, Rachel, what about Loki?" Lacey asks.

"Uh, Loki's cool. I don't really know much about him, though." Rachel tells her, shrugging nonchalantly.

"It's okay." Lacey reassures her. "That's what Google is for. Now, let's move on to Megaranger66's questions. What books do you read?"

"Harry Potter and the Secrets of the Immortal Nicholas Flamel." Rachel decides.

"Really?" Lacey grins widely. "I love that series – the second one, I mean. Next question is: What's your weirdest experience being the oracle?"

Rachel tilts her head for a moment, apparently thinking. "Got it. On my way home once, a guy asked me out and I started spouting prophecy at him."

Lacey snorts. "Poor schmuck."

I roll my eyes. Who uses the word 'schmuck'?

She shoots me a poisonous glare.

"So, Megaranger also wants to know what your dream is." She tells Rachel.

"I'd like to get some of my art displayed at an art gallery." Rachel answers with a small, dreamy smile.

"Cool! Do you hate your dad?" Lacey forgets to change her tone when she says the second sentence, so it comes out chirpy and bright. I snort softly. What a fool.

Rachel frowns. "I don't hate him. I just wish he'd stop destroying the wild, especially now that I know Grover."

"Oh yeah. That must be awkward. 'Hey, Rachel, what's new?' 'Well, my dad destroyed another acre of the nature you're trying to protect.'" Lacey sees the look Rachel is giving her and quickly moves on. "Also, if you could change anything about your life, what would you change?"

When she's hesitant, Lacey adds. "We can cover Octavian's ears if you don't want him to know."

"Probably, my vow of maidenhood. It's pretty scary that I could possibly fall in love with someone someday and be bound to that vow." Rachel winces as she says it as if it's painful to admit.

"Megaranger asks you next: Do you really want to be an Oracle for eternity until replaced?" Lacey presses on with the next question.

"'Eternity' seems a little dramatic." Rachel points out. "I don't think it will take that long to find another clear sighted mortal to be the next Oracle."

"What if it does?" Lacey presses.

"I'll probably die before eternity is over and if Camp wants to use my mummy as the Oracle until they find a replacement then I get the satisfaction of giving new campers nightmares." Rachel says with a small smile.

Lacey cackles gleefully. "That's the spirit! This is why people like you. What do you think of the gods?"

"I don't think they're really what people expect when they think of gods." Rachel says in a low voice, like she's trying to prevent them from hearing.

"Yeah, petty and overdramatic isn't what comes to my mind when I think of gods either." Lacey doesn't hold the same reservations. Her voice is louder than it needs to be and I flinch.

Thunder rumbles in the sky. Lacey curses under her breath.

"I didn't mean it!" She calls, tilting her head up toward the ceiling. "Please don't destroy my house. I'm halfway through my research paper for English and I don't want to have to rewrite it if it gets ruined in the destruction. It took me forever to get that done."

There's, predictably, no reply from the gods. Thankfully, the interview room stays in one piece.

"Megaranger wants to know if you think there are other gods." Lacey continues after a moment of tense silence.

"The chances of other gods existing seem pretty bad. Just having Roman and Greek versions of the same gods caused so many problems. If there were completely different gods there would probably be chaos and war all the time." Rachel reasons.

"If you could torture one person in Camp Half-Blood, Camp Jupiter, or just anyone in general, who would you choose and how would you torture them?" Lacey threads her fingers together as she speaks.

"I guess my Home Ec teacher? She's really strict about girls acting 'proper' and, for how, I'd probably ask you to torture her for me. You seem more experienced than me." Rachel answers. I can't believe she's trying to flatter our kidnapper.

"Oh, Rachel. I'm touched." Lacey says, clutching her chest overdramatically. "I never knew you had so much faith in my ability to torture someone. I'd be honored to torture her for you."

"I'll let you know if an opportunity ever comes up." Rachel tells her, smiling nervously and sliding back in her seat.

I sulk quietly in my chair. How come Rachel is the only one getting questions? I have interesting things to tell too.

"Well, their last question for you is how you feel about being kidnapped." Lacey asks.

"I'm not happy about being knocked out and kidnapped, but I'm definitely doing better than Nico when the giants captured him." Rachel says.

"Now, Octavian, Megaranger has questions for you. First off, what made you first hate Greeks?" Lacey turns her attention to me. My mood rises. I haven't been forgotten after all!

"They're traitors to the Legion." I answer easily. *

"No…" Lacey says, drawing out the word and shaking her head slowly.

"They were until the real Greeks showed up." I explain in a purposely condescending tone.

"Fair enough. Their next question is: If you ruled Camp Jupiter, what would you do?" She tells me,

"I would sever the alliance between the camps." I anounce proudly.

Rachel whistles. "Well, it's a good thing Reyna and Frank are in charge then."

Lacey nods her agreement.

"Why are you such a CENSORED to everyone?" She asks, screeching the word in the middle and making me flinch in surprise. I cringe at her volume. Someone needs to invent a way to keep her from raising her voice so high. My ears ache painfully.

"I am not!" I protest.

"You blackmailed Hazel! If that's not proof, well, it is proof, so that doesn't matter." Lacey argues.

"That's just Hazel. Not everyone!" I counter.

Lacey huffs and turns her attention to her computer. A smile spreads slowly over her face as she reads the screen. I swear to the gods, she is always smiling.

"Next question from Megaranger, do you know that nobody likes you and some want you dead?" She grins darkly at me.

"Is that a threat?" I glare at her, then threaten. "If it is I'm telling Reyna that somebody is threatening her augur."

She laughs. "It is a question. Now answer it."

I'm still not convinced that it isn't a threat, but I answer the question.

"Yes, I'm aware of my many jealous enemies in the legion. But you're wrong about no one liking me. Michael Kahale, centurion of the First Cohort, likes me because I'm his sponsor." I tell her. She thinks she knows all about my life. But there are still things she doesn't know.

"Of course." She rolls her eyes as she speaks. "In that case, what's your opinion on Doge?"

I frown. "What is Doge?"

"Oh, it's this internet-"

"I knew it! I knew it was another one of your stupid mortal catchphrases." I say, even though I really didn't. It's important to always act like you know everything.

"Yeah, totally." Lacey winces. "So, Megaranger says, One day you wake up a Greek. What would you do?"

"I'd infiltrate the Greek's leadership system and report their weaknesses back to Camp Jupiter." I give the obvious answer.

"And you're saying this in front of me?" Rachel asks.

"Well, it isn't like it will ever happen." I point out rationally.

"K/K/F: Reyna, Piper, and Rachel." Lacey tells me.

"That answer is classified." I mutter, fighting a blush. Oh gods, why is that a question?

Lacey raises a single eyebrow in my direction, but she doesn't fight me on the issue.

"Oh, this one is good. Do you cut teddy bears open because you have a deep fear of them as well as to deal with your pathetic personal problems?" Lacey reads.

"No. Where did you get that preposterous idea? I only cut open teddy bears because it is my duty to read the gods' omens." I bluff, squaring my shoulders.

"Well, cutting open teddy bears is hardly a sign of mental stability." She says, giving me a skeptical look.

In my peripheral vision I see Rachel nodding in agreement.

I clench my fists in my lap. "Well, you just don't understand the culture in New Rome."

"You heard it here first, ladies and gentlemen. Octavian is, allegedly, only gutting teddy bears out of duty." She says, doing jazz hands and talking to the wall.

"Thank y-" I finish processing her meaning a second late. "Wait! What do you mean, allegedly?"

She smiles sweetly at me. "Don't worry about it. Now, time to move on to our final reviewer, Divergent Half-Blood. Rachel-"

"Finally." The mortal in question mutters next to me.

Lacey gives her a sympathetic look. "I know. We were all getting tired of hearing Octavian talk. Rachel, don't you ever think you deserve more credit?"

"All I really do is host the spirit of the Oracle and tell people about my visions. But it is nice to be recognized for hitting Kronos in the eye with my brush." She responds, shrugging.

"Now, Octavian, Divergent asks you: What would you say if I told you that Egyptians, Norse, and Mayans existed too?" There's a mischievous gleam in her eyes, but I ignore it. This could be very important information.

"Where are they?" I demand. "They need to be investigated for conspiracy with evil forces."

"Disclamer," Lacey yawns, "Divergent Half-Blood is not implying that they exist, even if they may."

She promptly plants her face against her keyboard, fast asleep. I roll my eyes. Crazy mortal.

Rachel leaves the table and returns with a pillow - my pillow, I notice. She puts the pillow down on the table and carefully lifts our interviewer's head. Slowly, Rachel closes the laptop. She replaces the dangerous contraption with the pillow and leaves the girl there.

Yawning, she heads back to bed.

"I can't wait to crash. All of you reviewers should get lots of Rest & Relaxation too." She calls over her shoulder before belly flopping onto the old mattress.

I follow suit, heading to the lumpy couch I've been sleeping on. Gods, Lacey is exhausting to deal with.

When I wake up the next morning Lacey is gone. I fix my hair and wait for her to show up with breakfast.

She comes in soon after – with a package and no breakfast in sight.

"Where's our food?" I ask.

She grins. "Right here. I brought gummy bears."

I try not to show too much excitement. Gummy bears are my favorite snack. I don't want her to try to charge me for them if she sees I want them.

Lacey sets the cardboard box down on the table. Next to it, she places a small ceremonial knife. It's not as good as the one I use at Camp Jupiter, but it'll do.

"Megaranger sent you a gift." She informs me.

I smile. Finally, a mortal sees my greatness and rewards me for being so awesome.

"Well, tell them their sacrifice is much appreciated." I say.

"Of course." Lacey giggles.

I pick up the knife and slit the tape holding the package closed. I open the box. Inside is one of the most beautiful teddy bears I've seen since getting kidnapped. It's big, purple, fluffy, and – most importantly – still stuffed.

The gods have given me a second chance. Now I will know the secrets to the Greeks' defeat.

I slice down the teddy bear's stomach, excited to see the entrails. Inside are… gummy bears? Megaranger sent our breakfast inside a teddy bear?

Then the gummy bears start to glow. They levitate up out of the teddy bear carcass. Their little red, green, and gold bodies shine angelically. For a moment I stare at them in awe. The moment is ruined when they attack.

I scream. I don't know how it's possible, but their attack hurts. Little pinpricks of intense pain covering the exposed skin of my arms and face.

I bolt for the door and reach for the handle in a blind panic. Desperately, I hope that the door isn't locked. Surprisingly, it isn't. The knob turns and I pull the door open as fast as possible.

The last thing I hear as I race out of the interview room is Lacey and Rachel calmly discussing how to get to the nearest subway station.

Lacey: Thank you Love Things That Go BOOM, Miss Anony, Guest, Swickedgurl7, Booklover12, LunarCity Fanfics X3, and everyone mentioned in the chapter.

* In case you were confused, the Greeks were considered those who rejected the path of the Roman gods and went their own way by the Legion before the Argo II showed up. Octavian hated Greeks before there was proof they were real. So that's why they're traitors to the Legion.

So, now you know a little about what goes on backstage at the 'PJO Character Interviews Production Center.' And I read Blood of Olympus. So, references. (Well, just the one actually.)

Next chapter will be another kidnapping one. Travis and Katie this time. See you then!