Chapter Twenty-One—This is a Test, Only a Test

It felt as if every ounce of blood drained from my face with his one word reply, and I couldn't speak. I allowed myself a brief, half-hearted chuckle, waiting for him to roll his eyes and tell me it was just another myth. Vampires with special gifts? Like the strength and speed weren't sufficient, and put us mere humans at enough of a disadvantage?

Yet, there was no eye roll to tell me I was being ridiculous. His expression did not change at all, and his shoulders locked stiffly. He wasn't kidding. My imagination wasn't running wild. Edward could read minds.

"Oh no, no no," I stammered through heaving breaths, covering my mouth with my hand.

He's heard it all. The good, the bad, and the ugly … and the very ugly. Not to mention the not-so-ugly. I shouldn't have thought about that… he's listening right now. Crap!

It was at that moment I notice his hand waving in front of my face, trying to get my attention. I snapped out my minor freak out and tentatively looked up at him.

"Relax, Bella," he said softly.

"Easy for you to say," I grumbled, averting my eyes.

"Perhaps I should not have been so blunt without explaining."

I lifted my head up enough to see that he was serious again, more than before. "Explain what? That you've known all along what I'm thinking. I don't believe it takes a genius to understand what 'mind reading' means." I was rambling and I knew it, but my racing heart had yet to calm the hell down.

"I can read everyone's thoughts, except for yours."

It took a moment for my brain to catch up. Who could blame me? My eyes narrowed, trying to discern whether he was being honest with me. There was no deception in his gaze, but he was good at hiding things, so I disguised my discomfort with a sarcastic laugh. "Yeah, okay. I might believe that if it wasn't way too convenient. How did you know exactly what I wanted to talk about just now, then?"

"It wasn't that difficult to deduce, Bella. You do have a tendency to be quite persistent when there is something you want to know that I don't immediately answer," Edward replied in a calm, even voice. "However, even if you didn't, your facial expression pretty clearly told me exactly what you were thinking a moment ago, as well as your racing heart and the fact that you just told me."

My mouth snapped shut before I could retort. Damn, I can't argue with that, either. Stupid vampire hearing and classic Bella word vomit. Even humans could probably hear my heart pounding right then. And that wasn't the first time I'd been told how facially expressive I was, aside from tearing when I was angry and how easy it was to make me blush. My mother knew what I was thinking ninety percent of the time, too, and I highly doubted that she could read minds. But Edward could andI needed to know the truth, so I justified my urge to test him with that simple fact. I folded my arms over my chest and cocked an eyebrow at him defiantly, keeping my lips firmly pressed together.

I dare you to kiss me.

I cursed my stupid mind. That's the first thing that pops in your head, Bella? Really? Great! That's not completely embarrassing or anything. It was at that moment I noticed the look of confusion and frustration on Edward's handsome face. I couldn't help the little dance in my head, because it was obvious that he was being honest.

Edward couldn't read my thoughts.

My mind blanked for a second when I realized what that could possibly mean. My thoughts were safe from him. That was a good thing. However, the idea that he couldn't read my thoughts when he could read everyone else's did not entirely sit well with me. Did that mean something could be wrong?

I heard Edward huff and I looked up in time to see him pinch the bridge of his nose. It was a clear indication of his frustration.

"Now that you know, I should feel relieved that you have not run for the hills," he murmured. "Yet, I am more curious of your thoughts than ever."

"I'd never run…maybe trip," I joked with him, trying to alleviate some of the tension and smiling a little, which only seemed to frustrate him more. "To be honest, I was testing you." His eyebrow rose in question, when I didn't reply to it, he let another groan. "And now I'm wondering what the heck is wrong with me." The expression on his face was priceless, as if he was in complete agreement with my thought.

"Clearly, there must be something," he said seriously. "Anyone else would've stayed away from me as soon they realized what I was, and yet, here you are."

I rolled my eyes, walking ahead since people had been going around us the whole time. It was stupid to have the conversation in the middle of unsuspecting humans.

"I didn't mean that," I said, trying to keep up with him as he appeared at my side with a quickened pace. It was obvious he'd become aware of our surroundings, too. "I meant the part where you can read everyone but me." My brow furrowed, my lips thinning. "I always felt different from everyone else, sort of out of place." I shrugged self-consciously, uneasy under his scrutiny. He was watching me closely, almost if he still expected me to run.

Logically, I probably should have been running. Maybe he had a point there. I quickly shook that thought away, because I had one, too. It was clear that I needed to let him know, and that required somewhere a little more private than a clothing store to do so.

I led the way, head down, finding a bench in a tiny little park meant for tourists to rest and relax. My change of direction had obviously confused Edward, especially considering the imminent change in weather, but he sat stiffly, as far from me as he could. I tried not to let that sting my self-esteem, though it was hard.

"Edward, I've said this before. You've had ample opportunity," I said carefully, adding the next part in a low whisper, "to attack me." I winced at his gasp and the clench of his fists. "What I'm trying to say, is that I trust that, since you haven't already, it's likely that you won't. I am however concerned about how you can read all these people and not me." A hundred possible reasons run through my mind. "What if that means I'm sick? Like a tumor or something."

That was not the right thing to say. With the way he tensed and immediately began shaking his head in response, it was obvious he had already thought of that. "I would know. I'd smell the illness in your blood, and something like that would not appeal to me as yours does." I sighed in relief, but he was not finished. "Let's backtrack to the part that you trust that I won't attack you, just because I haven't thus far. You can never ever become complacent with me, either, Bella."

"I'm not entirely dismissing your concerns," I stated, attempting to ease some of the strain that had taken over his features again. "I know what I need to do in order to avoid tempting you, and what I don't already, I'm learning. Don't get too close or move too suddenly, try not to blush." He huffed again. "Yeah, that will take a while. Though, now that I think about it, every look of anger you've given me makes a little more sense now."

"What to do you mean?"

"Edward, you glared at me more times than I could count, just in the first day of school alone. And since then, I can't even begin to tally up," I replied and he sighed; he couldn't deny that. "I'm guessing that at least half of those looks were because you were tempted, right? What I'm trying to point out is that you've had me so close to you on a nearly daily basis, in your car even, and I survived." My thoughts conjured a recent image, one that happened more than once, too. "Ah, that's why you roll the window down sometimes, huh?"

Edward lowered his gaze to the ground in front of him, nodding. "You smell even better in the rain."

His reply was quiet, and I tried to tamp down the need to blush. It was futile and more so when he chuckled softly.

"I even arrived at your house with fairly fresh blood on me."

"You did," he said, but nothing more for several seconds. "Your points are valid, but so are mine."

I nodded, remembering all the times he glared at me so harshly. If he was tempted even half of those points, I could see why he was concerned.

"How about I promise to try as hard as you are to keep me safe?"

"If that was the case, you wouldn't be here right now."

The entire discussion put things in perspective. All our conversations, all the hostility and tension between us seemed a little more logical now, given our circumstances. "That's why you didn't want me to work off my debt."

His nod was small, as if he was a little ashamed. Why would he be? Before I could question that, he replied. "Partially. It really wasn't a necessity, but I couldn't be sure I would be able to handle you being in my room and spending more time with you was the opposite of what I was trying to achieve."

"And that was to stay away from me." I wasn't sure what it was that caused his head to snap up to look at me. It might have been something in my voice.

"It was…and still would be for the best," he murmured, gazing down at his hands and pursing his lips in thought as he watched his fingers fold together—as did I. "But I would've failed eventually, even if you hadn't hit my car, Bella."

What could I possibly say to that? My thoughts started running rampant again; what I was seeking, I had no idea. Then my mind locked on one memory and I turned my head toward him again.

"That's why you tried to talk to me that day," I said, thinking aloud for his benefit and mine. If I wanted answers, I needed to give him some, too.

"I was getting tired of staying away." His tone was serious, and the way he hung his head was a little endearing.

"God, you're kinda awful at talking to girls, then. Did you know that?"

His smile was small, but exactly what I wanted to see. "Not usually, at least when there is an occasion where I need to. Just with you, Bella."

Why did that please me so much?

I rubbed my hands over my jeans, trying to steer the conversation to another topic. I wasn't trying to embarrass him, or me, for that matter. "So when you said his thoughts weren't much better, you mean he was thinking something about me?"

The clench of his jaw and the stress he was putting on the bench beneath us indicated that, once again, that was the wrong direction to go.

"Edward," I whispered, startling him from his thoughts. His hands slowly moved to his pockets, and I noticed tiny fissures in the wood where his hands had been. "Never mind, I'm not sure I really want to know. Especially since you growled."

Edward sat a little straighter, avoiding my eyes completely and staring aimlessly ahead of him. "And I won't repeat any of it, though it was nothing much different than that of at least half the boys in our school."

I cocked an eyebrow. "Yet, you put them in my path to ask me to the dance."

He smirked. "I did no such thing. I only prevented you from escaping Tyler." I crossed my arms over my chest to show him that was not the point. "I wanted to see what you would do. You reaction to all those boys showing interest in you was beguiling. Then, of course, your anger amused me."

"You realize that you just confirmed all my suspicions about that day. You got extreme pleasure from making me angry. Don't think I didn't notice you laughing more the angrier I got." I paused to look at him, his expression of innocence morphed into that—as much as I hated to admit it—adorable, impish smirk. I stood up and tried not to roll my eyes or laugh. Turning, I pointed at him. "I changed my mind, it's totally your fault I hit your car."

He laughed, and that time, he embraced it. A full-bodied laughter I'd never heard before, only enhanced by a smile that actually reached his eyes.

I took a moment to listen, memorize it, and file it away. I hoped it wouldn't be the last time I heard it. "Come on, let's get going with the whole reason we came to Seattle in the first place before the sky unzips on us."

I turned to walk away, as he replied, "It was more of an excuse than a reason." I figured as much, because Edward did not seem like someone who enjoyed shopping. "Besides, I did promise you a trip to Seattle sometime, remember? You just managed to get to a bookstore on your own first."

I flushed at the smile still on his face, finding a little pleasure from his words. He was quick to catch up, putting himself between the road and me. His chivalry was something I still needed to accustom myself to, but I had to admit that it was a quality of his I liked. He said nothing for a full block and his hands were in his pockets again. From time to time, I could tell he glanced at me.

"Is he in there?" I asked softly a few feet from the store.

"No," Edward said, sighing and opening the door for me. "We would not have left the record store yet if he was."

I nodded in understanding, but then froze as his response hit me. My head spun so fast that I was almost positive I heard a crack in my neck and my eyes were wide. I almost blurted out my question without thinking when he subtly shook his head.

The question was on the tip of my tongue. How far is your "hearing" range? It was frustrating, yet, I knew he was right; a clothing store was not a good place to have that kind of conversation.

What he said at the record store was not lost on me, either. He actually said he 'missed these' when spoke of the vinyl record in his hand. Did that mean he actually used them at one point in his life?

How old was he?

"I know you have questions spinning in your mind," Edward said as he went through the same rack as before. "Now is not the time. I will answer whatever questions you may want to ask once we have a little more privacy." He pointedly tipped his head to the sales clerk that stared at us as he pretended to fix one of the mannequins.

I couldn't help the smile that came to my face then. "Something tells me he's not having inappropriate thoughts about me, since you're not glaring or growling?"

"You are quite right."

I, Bella Swan, giggled like a little girl at the slight scowl on his face. I wasn't one to laugh like that, but that was the only way to describe it. After a few seconds, it was clear that he didn't seem to mind.

His smile matched mine. "I'm so glad I can be such a great source of entertainment for you," he said, repeating something I said to him earlier. "Now, what are your favorite colors?"

"Why?"

He shook a nice green button down dress shirt in front of me. "So I can pick out a few of them."

He wanted to wear my favorite colors? The words unfortunately bypassed my normal filter and tumbled from my lips.

His answer was simple. "Yes." I blushed as I took two steps back to give him room. He eyed the distance between us and sighed. "What do you suggest?"

"I'm not really one to give fashion advice, but the grey and green are nice." He nodded, pulling several items out in the various shades of my suggestions. "And black," I added quickly. He wore a particular black leather jacket that I was partial to, but I did not admit that.

"You don't think the color would accentuate my pallor?" There was a quirk at one corner of his mouth, but I wasn't exactly sure what amused him. "How about the blue? I am quite partial to that blue blouse you've worn on several occasions."

Did he just admit that he liked the way something looked on me or just the color? It was hard not to roll my eyes at my wayward thoughts. I nodded, stupidly. A small flutter in my stomach started that I couldn't explain away as he walked toward the dressing rooms. "Just sit there while I try these on."

He pointed toward a little sitting area in front of a three-way mirror. The wingback chair was plush as I sat down, but his voice called for me.

"Yes?" I asked, walking a little closer toward the door he disappeared behind moments before. It opened a crack, enough for him to send me a smile as his hand slipped his jacket through for me to take.

"Will you hold this for me, please?"

I nodded, draping the coat over my arm and returning to the chair once again. The store was blessedly silent, but I wondered if Edward's hearing could pick up how fast my heart was racing. He was in that small space, shirtless. I was sure of it, since I hadn't seen a t-shirt under the sweater he wore. I'd been held against that chest, so my imagination needed very little to form the image in my mind.

Edward shirtless was beautiful, breathtaking. That flutter I felt earlier had been light, even pleasant. It had somehow morphed into molten heat that seemed to spread everywhere.

I had to face facts.

I was attracted to Edward Cullen.

That time, I did roll my eyes at myself, catching my reflection in the mirror. My flushed cheeks contrasted against my pale skin. My eyes, that I had always believed were a boring brown, actually shined brighter than usual. What drew my attention was the color of my lips.

They were a bit redder than normal, and it only took a moment for me to figure out why, as I unconsciously dragged my teeth over my lower lip. Once they let go, I watched the color darken another shade and felt them tingle in a way I'd never noticed before, and my breath stilled for a moment. The test thought I had earlier was real and not something pulled from nowhere. I really did want Edward to kiss me.

"Oh my God," I whispered.

"Bella," I heard him, just as the door to the dressing room swung open. I looked up at him, finding it difficult to breathe. His school clothes usually consisted of t-shirts, sweaters, or an occasional dress shirt, but the black button down he wore at that moment was a winner. "Are you okay?" he asked, as he turned to look in the mirror.

I tried to clear my head, but it was useless. It wasn't possible when he was rolling up one of the sleeves, poorly, over a sculpted forearm. He bent his arm, trying to get better access to the fabric, a slight scowl did little to mar his handsome face. Weren't vampires supposed to be good at everything? He could make a piano sound like more than one person was playing it, but he couldn't roll up a sleeve?

I wasn't sure what drew me to my feet at first, only that I needed to be closer to him. There was no indication that he had noticed me, but considering his abilities, I knew that wouldn't be the case. He was as aware of me as I had been of him since the day we met.

I stepped closer, giving him the time he needed to stop me. My hands rose as I whispered, "Let me."

His long slim fingers stilled on the cuff, his eyes lifting to meet mine.

"It's not very even," he said softly, his hand falling away. I nodded and looked at his arm. It took several moments to roll the fabric down, and he stiffened slightly when the tips of my fingers brushed his skin. I stopped for a few seconds, giving him a chance to right himself again. After a grateful smile from him, I carefully started the process again, adjusting as I rolled the sleeve toward his elbow. His arm stretched out between us once I'd finished.

We'd made a few significant strides that day, even in the last couple of hours. My accidental touch had still affected him, and while he did need a moment to re-center himself, he managed it far more quickly than he had the first time. Progress.

A few specks of lint on his sleeve reminded me of our earlier conversation; it wasn't that he minded me touching him, but he did require warning.

"The pitfalls of wearing black," I said softly as I pointed to his sleeve and looked up at him. His lips parted slightly and his eyes were still on my face. The irises were darker than they had been all day, and though questions formed in my head about that, I needed to do this. "May I?"

Edward watched me intently as he swallowed hard, and then softly whispered, "Yes."

The nervous tension that had built up in my body in anticipation of his response loosened and I brought my hand to his arm, dusting the lint off his sleeve. I could feel the chill of his body emanating through the fabric, but I couldn't honestly say that it was an unpleasant sensation. Even when my fingertips trailed to where the sleeve ended and continued toward his wrist, removing the last barrier between his skin and mine, I felt no instinct to recoil.

It took a moment for me to realize that my hand had found its way to his, my touch skimming against the inside of his palm. His fingers twitched twice before they curled around mine, and his mouth slowly lifted into a smile. "I think I'll buy this one."