Things to do in Salem When You're Dead
Chapter Twenty-One
"Brrrrr. It's cold in here." My breath is a frozen cloud in front of my pink face.
"See that thing you're standing on? It's called ice. Ice is cold. If it weren't cold in here than we wouldn't be ice-skating, we'd be water skating. Which is also fun, but not why we're here." Brady jokes and I chime in with a sarcastic "ha ha" and a dramatic roll of my eyes.
Brady and I are standing in a large, dimly lit skating rink. I look around and the first thing I notice is.
"Where is everyone? We're the only ones here."
"That's because this rink isn't open this time of year. But the owner decided to make an exception for us. That is, after I introduced him to a Mr. Andrew Jackson." Brady replies with mock suaveness, waggling his eyebrows for effect.
"So I guess it's just the two of us?" I ask slyly.
"Just the two of us." He replies as he pulls me closely to him for another one of our earthshaking, time stopping, universe ending, soul searing, breath stealing kisses. We're pretty much throwing caution to the wind these days with our intense, passionate kisses. I know that due to my weakened immunity I shouldn't even be touching him, let alone be kissing him like this. But I no longer care.
It has been weeks, months since I left the hospital, and I am no closer to a cure now than before. The lead that Nancy and Craig left town to track down came up empty. Yet they are still out there, roaming the country in their search for a bone marrow donor. Meanwhile, I grow weaker by the day, and spend much of my time sleeping, just trying to conserve my energy for moments like this, when Brady and I are together enjoying life and each other. While we can.
There's been such an undercurrent of sadness in our relationship lately, despite our strongest efforts to keep our spirits up. The continual disappointments in the search for a donor have eaten away most of our hope. Even our best moments are bittersweet, because in the back of our minds we're always aware of the passing of time, that brings me ever closer to the end.
There's sadness even in our tender kiss right now. Sadness and regret. Regret that I'm going to die soon, and there's so much left to be explored in our relationship, so much that I want to do, and experience. I can't stand knowing that I'm going to die without fully expressing my love to the man who holds my heart. Dammit! It's just not fair.
I can't tell you how scared I am. I'm scared of the future. I'm scared that so much that I wanted to accomplish in my life will remain undone; dreams unfulfilled. Mostly I'm scared of what this is doing to Brady. I can see the heartbreak in his eyes, the despair in his posture when he doesn't know I'm watching. I need him now more than ever, but how can I ask him to stay with me through this, knowing that this will end in my death?
I close my eyes in sweet surrender to the moment and vow to just enjoy his presence as much as I can.
"mmmm" Brady mumbles as he breaks off his sweet kiss. "Now isn't this better than roller skating? Right now we'd be mobbed by a giggling sea of pre-pubescent girls and dancing to Britney Spears." He shudders violently. "Speaking of which, may I have this dance?" he asks as he bows deeply at the waist.
"But there's no music." I point out.
"Like we've ever needed music." He grins as he takes my hand and pulls me out into the middle of the large rink. The soft, muted lights twinkle like shimmering stars around us and as we skate together, wrapped in each other's arms, I hear his voice, softly singing. I hear his rich voice in my ear and it's like he's reading my mind, knowing just the song to sing.
No more talk of darkness Forget these wide-eyed fears I'm here; nothing can harm you My words will warm and calm you
His beautifully sad voice speaks directly to my soul, and a peace like I've never known washes over me. I should have known that he knew what I was feeling, what I was thinking. He's the missing half of my soul
Let me be your freedom Let daylight dry your tears I'm here with you beside you To guard you and to guide you
I respond automatically, my heartfelt emotions carrying my voice to the heavens. I've never sung like this, not even on my best day. I know the words, and I sing them directly to his soul, and thus our hearts commune
Say you'll love me every waking moment Turn my head with talk of summertime Say you'll need me with you now and always Promise me that all you say is true That's all I ask of you
He answers, telling me of his promise to remain with me through my illness, come what may. My fears vanish. I am safe
Let me be your shelter Let me be your light You're safe; no one will find you Your fears are far behind you
I reply, telling him of my dreams, all that I yearn for, all that I want to do
All I want is freedom A world with no more night And you always beside me To hold me and to hide me
His voice soars as he sings of his vow to me, a vow to honor and cherish me.
Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime Let me lead you from your solitude Say you'll need me with you here beside you Anywhere you go let me go too Chloe, that's all I ask of you
I reply with a vow and a heartfelt plea of my own. Tell me you love me, Brady
Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime Say the word and I will follow you Share each day with me, each night, each morning Say you love me
His voice cracks slightly with powerful emotion You know I do
We finish together, standing still, our hands joined, fingers interlaced, as our hearts and souls are now laced together for all eternity
Love me, that's all I ask of you Anywhere you go let me go too Love me, that's all I ask of you
We finish our symbolic ceremony with a long, loving kiss. We are now one.
Til death do us part.
Chapter Twenty-One
"Brrrrr. It's cold in here." My breath is a frozen cloud in front of my pink face.
"See that thing you're standing on? It's called ice. Ice is cold. If it weren't cold in here than we wouldn't be ice-skating, we'd be water skating. Which is also fun, but not why we're here." Brady jokes and I chime in with a sarcastic "ha ha" and a dramatic roll of my eyes.
Brady and I are standing in a large, dimly lit skating rink. I look around and the first thing I notice is.
"Where is everyone? We're the only ones here."
"That's because this rink isn't open this time of year. But the owner decided to make an exception for us. That is, after I introduced him to a Mr. Andrew Jackson." Brady replies with mock suaveness, waggling his eyebrows for effect.
"So I guess it's just the two of us?" I ask slyly.
"Just the two of us." He replies as he pulls me closely to him for another one of our earthshaking, time stopping, universe ending, soul searing, breath stealing kisses. We're pretty much throwing caution to the wind these days with our intense, passionate kisses. I know that due to my weakened immunity I shouldn't even be touching him, let alone be kissing him like this. But I no longer care.
It has been weeks, months since I left the hospital, and I am no closer to a cure now than before. The lead that Nancy and Craig left town to track down came up empty. Yet they are still out there, roaming the country in their search for a bone marrow donor. Meanwhile, I grow weaker by the day, and spend much of my time sleeping, just trying to conserve my energy for moments like this, when Brady and I are together enjoying life and each other. While we can.
There's been such an undercurrent of sadness in our relationship lately, despite our strongest efforts to keep our spirits up. The continual disappointments in the search for a donor have eaten away most of our hope. Even our best moments are bittersweet, because in the back of our minds we're always aware of the passing of time, that brings me ever closer to the end.
There's sadness even in our tender kiss right now. Sadness and regret. Regret that I'm going to die soon, and there's so much left to be explored in our relationship, so much that I want to do, and experience. I can't stand knowing that I'm going to die without fully expressing my love to the man who holds my heart. Dammit! It's just not fair.
I can't tell you how scared I am. I'm scared of the future. I'm scared that so much that I wanted to accomplish in my life will remain undone; dreams unfulfilled. Mostly I'm scared of what this is doing to Brady. I can see the heartbreak in his eyes, the despair in his posture when he doesn't know I'm watching. I need him now more than ever, but how can I ask him to stay with me through this, knowing that this will end in my death?
I close my eyes in sweet surrender to the moment and vow to just enjoy his presence as much as I can.
"mmmm" Brady mumbles as he breaks off his sweet kiss. "Now isn't this better than roller skating? Right now we'd be mobbed by a giggling sea of pre-pubescent girls and dancing to Britney Spears." He shudders violently. "Speaking of which, may I have this dance?" he asks as he bows deeply at the waist.
"But there's no music." I point out.
"Like we've ever needed music." He grins as he takes my hand and pulls me out into the middle of the large rink. The soft, muted lights twinkle like shimmering stars around us and as we skate together, wrapped in each other's arms, I hear his voice, softly singing. I hear his rich voice in my ear and it's like he's reading my mind, knowing just the song to sing.
No more talk of darkness Forget these wide-eyed fears I'm here; nothing can harm you My words will warm and calm you
His beautifully sad voice speaks directly to my soul, and a peace like I've never known washes over me. I should have known that he knew what I was feeling, what I was thinking. He's the missing half of my soul
Let me be your freedom Let daylight dry your tears I'm here with you beside you To guard you and to guide you
I respond automatically, my heartfelt emotions carrying my voice to the heavens. I've never sung like this, not even on my best day. I know the words, and I sing them directly to his soul, and thus our hearts commune
Say you'll love me every waking moment Turn my head with talk of summertime Say you'll need me with you now and always Promise me that all you say is true That's all I ask of you
He answers, telling me of his promise to remain with me through my illness, come what may. My fears vanish. I am safe
Let me be your shelter Let me be your light You're safe; no one will find you Your fears are far behind you
I reply, telling him of my dreams, all that I yearn for, all that I want to do
All I want is freedom A world with no more night And you always beside me To hold me and to hide me
His voice soars as he sings of his vow to me, a vow to honor and cherish me.
Then say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime Let me lead you from your solitude Say you'll need me with you here beside you Anywhere you go let me go too Chloe, that's all I ask of you
I reply with a vow and a heartfelt plea of my own. Tell me you love me, Brady
Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime Say the word and I will follow you Share each day with me, each night, each morning Say you love me
His voice cracks slightly with powerful emotion You know I do
We finish together, standing still, our hands joined, fingers interlaced, as our hearts and souls are now laced together for all eternity
Love me, that's all I ask of you Anywhere you go let me go too Love me, that's all I ask of you
We finish our symbolic ceremony with a long, loving kiss. We are now one.
Til death do us part.