30 Days of Night
Disclaimer:
I own absolutely nothing. Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer and 30 Days of Night belongs to Steve Niles.
Chapter Twenty-One: Confrontation:
Bella POV
The ride to the hospital was spent mostly in silence, even though I knew that Alice was itching to ask me questions about what had happened in the car between Edward and I. She was fidgeting in the seat next to me, shooting me glances every few seconds, biting her lip, wringing her hands as she clutched the steering wheel. Every once in a while, she would open her mouth to speak, but then she would decide better of saying anything, perhaps seeing that I would react badly. Stella, Eben, and Beau apparently had collectively decided not to broach the subject of the switch between Jasper and I either because they were all sitting in the back looking everywhere but at me, determined not to say a word. I didn't know if I appreciated the silence or not. I didn't really want to talk about what had happened, or why I had flipped out and stormed out of the car, or what Edward had said prior to my abandoning him to ride with Alice, but I didn't really want to sit in silence to stew with my own thoughts either. Finally, I decided to say something, if for nothing more than to get the conversation out of the way so I wouldn't have to deal with it later.
"Okay, Alice," I said, propping my elbow up on the window and leaning my head against my hand. "Ask away."
"What happened?" She immediately replied. "We couldn't see much of what was going on, but it looked pretty heated and I saw him kiss you when you guys stopped. Why did you run? What did he say?"
"Geez," Beau muttered from the back. "If I knew this was going to devolve into girl talk I would have hopped out with Jasper."
Eben snickered and Stella smacked him on the arm, taking a moment to shoot Beau a glare in the process. "Knock it off," she said. "Bella's been through a lot." Beau sighed, a bit dramatically, and Eben started rubbing his arm, muttering something about Stella and Wheaties. "Go on, Bella," she encouraged.
"He kissed me," I confirmed, reluctant to talk about it now that I had brought the subject up. I just didn't know what to feel when it came to Edward. He was inevitable, we were inevitable, but I couldn't just forgive him and forget that he had ever hurt me. I couldn't be weak, little Bella Swan who followed Edward around like he was the planet upon whose gravitational pull I depended. I was my own person, a very strong person, who had been through some horrible experiences and survived. I didn't want to be different, being different had been thrust upon me back in Barrow, but I was and I could never go back.
"And?" Alice prodded impatiently.
"I kissed him back," I replied. I was looking out of the window, watching the scenery flash by as Alice drove way too fast. I knew that Edward was in the car behind us, I could feel him staring at the back of my head, and I wanted to turn around to catch a glimpse of him, if only to prove that he was still there, but I made myself stay rooted in place.
"That's a good thing, right?" Stella asked.
"Let me get this straight," Beau interjected. "This Edward guy left you, from what I understand, a complete mess. Then he comes back, swearing up and down that he wants you back. He kisses you and you, the girl who beheaded a vampire right in front of me, the girl who tackled a vampire and let him lick your hand to distract him, the girl who…well," he paused, tugging at his unruly beard, "injected herself with vampire venom to save us all, just kissed him back like nothing had happened?" He asked incredulously. "I'm sorry, but that's just not something that badass Bella would do."
"I thought you weren't into girl talk," Eben said, humor dancing in his eyes.
"Shut up," Beau shot back.
"I didn't just kiss him like nothing had happened," I said defensively. "Obviously, I was uncomfortable with the situation."
"So you fled," Beau retorted.
"I didn't flee," I said indignantly.
"Well," Alice started, but I interrupted.
"I chose to remove myself from the situation," I clarified.
"But it was a good kiss though, right?" Stella asked. "I mean, it looked like a good kiss from back here."
I thought for a moment, my mind replaying every single miniscule detail of the kiss I had shared with Edward, our first kiss since I had become a vampire. My vampire memory was so much better than my human memory had been. I could remember how smooth his lips were sliding across mine, how sweet his breath tasted, how hard his body had felt pressed against mine, but what I remembered most was the way my body reacted. Everywhere he had touched left fire in its wake, my skin tingled, but hands, fisted in his hair, wanted to be everywhere at once, and I had felt as though something was coiling up in my stomach, desperate for release, desperate for anything, for more, for all of him. It was almost as though I could feel him kissing me again as I replayed it in my memory. "Yeah," I replied absently, still immersed in my thoughts, "it was a good kiss."
"You should have punched him," Beau snorted.
"Not a believer in true love, huh, Beau?" Eben asked.
"Your true love shouldn't break your heart," Beau shot back.
"So if it was a good kiss, why did you decide to ride with us?" Alice asked.
"Because your true love shouldn't break your heart," I answered sadly, borrowing Beau's words. "I want to love him again, I really do, but I can't trust him, not yet. He tells me he loves me, he tells me he wants me, but I can't help thinking he's lying again."
"What do you mean again?" Alice asked.
"You didn't see?" I questioned, looking over at her. She was staring at me, not even bothering to look at the road anymore, not that she needed to.
"No," she replied. "He didn't make up his mind what to say to you until he got to your house that day. I guess when he started, he had a plan, but it wasn't working, so he thought of something else. I just knew that he was going to leave, but I didn't know how he was going to accomplish it."
"He said he didn't love me anymore," I answered dully, not wanting to relive this pain again, even though saying the words made me feel like I couldn't breathe. "He said he didn't want me."
Alice inhaled in a low hiss and tightened her grip on the steering wheel. "I'm gonna kill his sparkly ass," she muttered.
"Not before I get my piece, sister," Beau said, cracking his knuckles.
"Okay," I said, throwing up my hands, "as much as I appreciate the support, no one needs to inflict any bodily harm to Edward. This is something that he and I will have to work through."
"So you do plan to work through it?" Eben asked, now just as sucked into the girl talk as Beau was.
I sighed, running a hand through my now perfect, shiny hair. "Yes," I replied after what must have seemed like forever to Alice because she started fidgeting again. "I want to work through it with him. I'm not saying it'll be easy, or that it'll happen any time soon," I added, looking over at Alice as I spoke. She was already starting to grin, despite my words. "Just that I want to make this work with him, even though he hurt me, because I just can't help but love him. It's like I'm compelled to."
Stella reached up, gently rubbing my shoulder. "I think you're making a good decision," she said. "He looks at you with so much love in his eyes."
"Just like I look at you, right?" Eben said, smiling as he slung his arm around her shoulder and planted a kiss on her cheek.
"Oh, make me gag," Beau grumbled.
Stella laughed. "That's right," she said, leaning into his embrace. I watched them in the rearview mirror and smiled.
We rode in silence as we passed into Forks. As we neared the hospital, I saw the laughter slowly start to drain from Eben's face when he thought about seeing his uncle lying in a hospital bed. The thought of Charlie hooked up to machines, helpless, dependent on nurses to bathe him, being fed through a tube, was almost more than I could take. Charlie had always been so strong, my father, invincible, someone I could always count on to handle anything. Now that we were pulling into the hospital parking lot, I didn't know if I would actually be able to go in, I didn't know if I could stand to see him like that. I felt that familiar burning in my eyes, the tears that wanted to fall but couldn't. Out of the corner of my eyes, I noticed Alice blinking her eyes rapidly, trying to fight the same thing I was. She loved Charlie too.
"Can you see anything?" I asked her lowly when we parked in front of the hospital. Edward and Jasper pulled up next to us.
Alice closed her eyes for a second, but growled in frustration. "No," she said finally. "I can't see anything."
"Is that normal?" I asked, concern staining my voice.
"I don't know," she said, troubled. "I mean, I can't even see him now."
"What does that mean?" I asked, gritting my teeth, panic rising up in my chest. "He's still alive, right? You would have seen it if he died?"
"I don't know," Alice exploded. I realized then that she was blaming herself for not seeing Charlie get attacked in the first place. The fact that she couldn't see him now was only adding to the guilt she felt. "I can't see anything."
"It's okay," I said, reaching over and taking her hand.
She sighed, looking out of the window toward the hospital entrance. I felt her stiffen, her fingers gripping more tightly around my hand, when her eyes fell on a group of men standing by the entrance. "Oh shit," she muttered.
"What?" Eben asked, leaning forward in his seat, trying to see what she was seeing.
"Werewolves," she stated, her mouth a tight line. "Those men standing in front of the hospital are werewolves."
"Werewolves?" Beau asked. "Is she kidding?"
"I don't know," I replied, looking over at her expectantly. "Are you kidding?"
"No one ever told you this?" She asked in surprise.
"Told me what?" I asked, irritation flooding my voice. I hated how many secrets the Cullens had kept from me, all for the sake of keeping me "safe."
"The Quileutes…they're werewolves," Alice explained. "Carlisle made a treaty with them long before Jasper and I joined the family. Basically, we promised not to attack or bite any human and, as long as we stayed off of Quileute lands, they wouldn't kill us."
"Oh, you've got to be kidding me," Stella said.
"Werewolves are real?" I asked.
"Yes," Alice confirmed. "It's not any weirder than vampires," she added when she saw me staring at her wide eyed.
"Huh," Eben said, leaning back in his seat again.
"What?" Beau asked, looking over at him.
"So this treaty you guys made," he thought aloud, "it says you can't bite anyone, right?"
"Right," Alice stated.
"So when we get out of this car and they see that Bella is a vampire now, what's the first thing they're gonna assume?" He asked.
"Oh shit," I muttered.
"But they didn't bite her," Stella argued.
"I'm not sure that'll matter," Alice replied.
"Why not?" I asked.
"They don't like us," Alice explained. "It's like it's in their genetic makeup to hate us. The feeling is pretty much mutual. We don't like them either. So no matter how many times we explain that we had nothing to do with your being changed, they're going to see that bite mark on your hand and your red eyes and they'll believe what they want to believe because it will give them an excuse to get rid of us once and for all."
"They can't honestly think they can fight you guys," Beau stated incredulously. "I mean, you guys are tough, really tough."
"So are werewolves," Alice said, shrugging. "Besides, they won't let you in the hospital," she said, looking over at me. "Not if they think you're going to hurt someone."
The idea of a bunch of strangers denying me access to my own father sparked something in me, a flash of anger that had me opening the car door and storming up to the entrance before Alice or the others could stop me. It didn't matter to me that my eyes were glowing red in the early morning light, that little rays of sunshine were escaping from between the clouds, lighting my skin up like millions of diamonds, I was going to see my father, even if I had to kill every werewolf in Forks to get to him. It was an irrational reaction, a violent reaction, something that I knew in my heart was the product of my unstable, newborn emotions, but I couldn't make myself stop, even when the men standing by the doors stiffened, smelling vampire on the air, as I approached.
One of them knew who I was and he stepped forward, eyeing me with suspicion, sadness, and anger. I stopped when I was only about ten feet away from them, not because my resolve had wavered, but because I saw for the first time that they weren't really men; no, they were boys, boys probably a few years younger than I was, even though they were built like wrestlers. "I'm here to see my father," I said, my voice acidic, challenging them to deny me.
"Bella Swan?" The one who had stepped forward asked. I nodded tersely. "I'm Sam," he continued, his hands held in front of him in both a defensive and placating position.
"I'm here to see my father," I repeated.
"We can't let you do that," he said softly, but firmly.
I heard car doors opening and shutting behind me. Without having to turn around to look, I knew that Jasper, Edward, and Alice had formed a semi-circle behind me. The boys behind Sam, four of them in total, did the same, all of them tensing, ready to spring. I had the feeling that it wouldn't take much to set them off, but I also knew that it wouldn't take much to set me off either. The treaty didn't mean much to me, I didn't care what arraignment Carlisle had made with the Quileutes. I hadn't come all this way for some stranger to tell me that I couldn't see my own father. I was about to step forward, to challenge Sam to tell me to my face again that he was going to stop me from entering the hospital, when Stella pushed through the line of vampires behind me to stand right next to me.
"Hey," she yelled, capturing everyone's attention. "I don't fully understand what's going on here, but you guys have no right to tell her that she can't see Charlie," she said, pointing at the Quileute boys. Sam opened his mouth to protest, but she continued on, not allowing him a chance to speak. "Yeah, she's a vampire. Get over it. Look," she said, moving even closer to me, so close I could smell the blood rushing through her veins, hear the vein in her neck throbbing. It didn't bother me, I just swallowed down the venom, knowing that I would never bite Stella, even if she was gushing blood right next to me. "You're worried about her attacking someone inside? She's not attacking me," she stated. "She's been stuck in a car with me for several hours and not just me, two others, and she hasn't tried to eat us."
"She's a newborn," Sam spat out. "She can't be trusted. None of them can be trusted. You broke the treaty," he said, crossing his arms over his chest, and looking at the Cullens lined up behind me.
"No one broke the treaty," I countered, growling lowly in the back of my throat.
"You're a vampire," he stated. "Someone bit you and I'd bet my life it was him," he added, pointing to Edward.
"I did this to myself," I shot back. "Yeah, you heard me right," I added when I saw him bristle and look at me in confusion. "I chose this. I did this. Now, I'm going in there to see my father and you'll either step aside and let me, or I'll tear all of you apart right here. I don't care who sees."
Several moments passed, during which I contemplated the likelihood that I could fight all of them without losing a limb or worse, when Sam finally spoke. "Where's Carlisle?" He asked.
"He's coming," Jasper answered.
"When he arrives, I want to speak with him," Sam said firmly. "For now, the treaty stands, but if we discover that you really have broken it, none of you will ever step foot in Forks again," he threatened.
"Can I go in now?" I asked impatiently.
He stepped back, nodding. "We'll be watching," he said. "The second one of us thinks you're losing control, we'll take you out. I don't care who sees," he said, throwing my words back at me and I flinched, knowing that Sam would kill me right in front of my father if he had to.
"Fine," I muttered. Relief coursed through me as I started toward the hospital door, but Edward grabbed my arm, effectively stopping me as the others moved ahead. "What?" I asked, glaring over at him.
He just smiled at me, holding up a pair of dark sunglasses. "Unless you want everyone to see your eyes…," he trailed off and I smiled back sheepishly, taking the sunglasses.
"Right," I said, "sorry." I slid them on my face and walked into the building, cool air hitting me as I strode through the automatic doors. Eben had already asked what room Charlie was in and I found myself following him yet again as we made our way through the halls of the hospital. When we reached his room, the others stepped back, knowing that I would want to go in first. Even Edward stepped back, assuming that I wanted to do this alone. However, now that I was standing in front of Charlie's door, the thought of having to walk in that room alone terrified me. I was a vampire, but I was still his little girl. Reaching back, I clutched at Edward's hand desperately. "I can't do this alone," I whispered, looking up at him with pleading eyes. He nodded, entwining his fingers with my own.
"Okay," he said. "I'm right here." I could hear the heart monitor from out in the hallway; I could even hear the dripping of the IV fluids. I wanted so badly to cry, to sob, to lose control of myself and collapse into a puddle of grief on the hospital floor, but I knew I had to stay strong for Charlie. Taking a deep breath to steady my nerves, I walked into the room.