Unsuitable Suitors Chapter 21: Heather, a total drama series fanfic

I've decided to do a writing streak because I've been terrible with my updates lately. This chapter is a bit relatively short, but I hope you guys like it.

The next day, Mal, Zoey and Duncan were late on arrival to Noah's house. They casually asked to use the basement again, and Noah apathetically allowed it as long as they left before sundown. Anyway, Noah was picking his next suitor. "And the next suitor is…"

"…

"…Heather," Noah droned.

Heather smirked. "Wise decision, Noah," she told him. "For I can make this date the best one you've ever had," she bragged.

"IN YOUR DREAMS!" Courtney pointed threateningly at Heather. "In fact, I SHOULD HAVE BEEN PICKED NEXT! NOT YOU!" She lunged for Heather, only to be held back by Gwen.

"You're so cute and sexy when you are about to go on a murderous rampage," Gwen grinned at the Courtney. Courtney immediately ran out the door to avoid Gwen, but Gwen was comically missing the point.

"Why do you always play hard to get?!" Gwen called after Courtney, as she ran after her. "You know this only makes me want you more! Unless that's what you're planning!" she smiled.

"What Courtney would be planning would most likely be a restraining order," Heather deadpanned when Gwen was no longer within earshot. Noah smirked.

"I don't think Courtney would be the only one considering this," he quipped. "Well, we better get going. There's a fashion show downtown that I figured you'd be interested in."

"Oh Noah, you know me so well," Heather laughed. On her way out, she gave Alejandro a smirk. Alejandro replied by simply rolling his eyes. Though internally, he felt the same way Heather did when he winked at her the previous chapter.

The drive to the venue turned out to be much more eventful than Noah anticipated. Obviously, Heather loved the luxuries of being in a limo, though this is nothing new to her, considering that she gets chauffeured a lot whenever she couldn't be arsed to drive.

"So, I presume you wouldn't be into women's fashion," Heather teased Noah.

"Not really," Noah replied. "I think these whole shows are pointless. But I have to take the suitors' personalities and stereotypes into account when taking them out."

"You really think I go to those things just to get inspiration?" Heather laughed. "Please! Why would I want to go all the way over to a fashion venue for inspiration when I could just pick up a magazine, surf the internet, or go to the shops while I'm buying something!"

"Those that mean I arranged that date for nothing?" Noah raised an eyebrow.

"Nope," Heather smirked. "I like going to fashion shows. But not the same reason as most other women and camp men."

"Let me guess," Noah lamented, "you like to mock the women doing the catwalk."

"Exactly!" Heather replied. "Humiliating a shallow bitch who thinks that all women should be as skinny as I am to a point where she's running offstage in tears is a very satisfying experience."

"That sounds very cruel," Noah commented. "But despite that, or maybe because of that, I'm in."

"Excellent!" Heather high-fived Noah. For the first time in Noah's life, he was not dreading having to interact with Heather.

At the venue, Noah and Heather sat up at the front of the audience. The first model did her catwalk, at which Heather immediately voiced her opinion.

"Not everyone is a stick figure like you!" Heather sneered at the model. The model gave Heather the finger and stormed off in a sulk.

The next model came on. "That skirt is too short!" Heather sneered at her. "I'd be one gust of wind from an orgasm if you're not wearing any knickers!" The second model gave Heather the finger as well and stomped off in rage.

"You're good," Noah told Heather.

"You should try it," Heather suggested. "You're very good at that."

Noah thought about it as the next model came onto the catwalk platform. Noah immediately came up with an insult for her. But just as he was about to use it, he found himself being yanked and then thrown at the model.

"God! What dafuq is wrong with you?!" the model demanded, as she shoved Noah off the platform. Noah was too dazed and confused to explain himself. Only when he was thrown out of the venue did he realise what happened.

Heather just threw him onto the stage.

That bitch, Noah thought, I should've known! Just as Noah was about to call the chauffeur, he walked right into none other than Heather.

"That was fun," Heather smirked. "Too bad this lead to us getting banned from this premise. Not that I give a shit, though. Oh, and it also too bad that this is about to happen to you!"

All of a sudden, Noah felt his underwear getting pulled right over his head, crushing his nads in the process. In real life, such an injury could only be healed by a trip to the emergency room, but it was a cartoon. It was still equally painful, though.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Noah squeaked.

"You see mi víctima," Alejandro laughed, "my date and Heather's date were all a setup. We still love each other, and we are still dating."

"But we wanted a chance at humiliating you on international TV," Heather added, smirking. "So, how does it feel to be screwed over like that?"

"I feel shattered emotionally," Noah rolled his eyes.

"I'm sorry, but that's not good enough for us," said Heather, kicking Noah right in the balls. Noah doubled over, clutching his crotch. That was twice in one minute that it had to endure significant abuse.

"Later, amigo!" Alejandro teased Noah as he and Heather walked off hand-in-hand. Noah muttered curse words under his breath as the camera crew intervened – when it was convenient for them – to help Noah cope with his double groin attack.

Dun! Dun! Dun! The second time in a row Noah got screwed over by a couple. Not very good for him, is it? Poor thing. He's had very humiliating dates (the last one definitely being one of them), but I don't think having to endure two groin attacks in one minute is going to end well. Ouch! Which date do you think is the worst so far?

Next chapter won't involve one half of a couple. I'm pretty sure you're sick and tired of the couples already. So the next few chapters, the suitors will definitely be single, and without a hidden relationship.

Until next time!