Authors Note: This will be a shorter chapter then others before it, but hopefully just as good. Consider this a filler chapter, in the mind of Sam before I pick up and continue the way I planned in the next couple of chapters before ending it. To any and all that have reviewed and will review from this point on, I thank you. It truly means so much to me. On with the show shall we?

I remember a time in high school, where a friend of mine had been the subject of extreme bullying, resulting in death threats and even him having to change schools for a time. It was in those times that I allowed myself to get violent, and not think about the ramifications of my actions and even the actions of the other people in the fight.

It was happening again now, though on a much larger scale. Except now I had to face the end result of the reaction I'd had, and every action that followed.

I remember thinking back then, that if there was one person, just one that could stand up and be a voice for the voiceless, as Kurt was then, then maybe we all could put an end to the bullying, the anger and other emotions that boiled under the surface for so many of us. That maybe that voice of the voiceless could change the way high school had been run since the beginning of time and maybe implement some form of change.

I had wanted to be that voice but instead I had chosen during that time to use my fists instead of my head and more importantly my voice. It's said that one learns from their mistakes but in my case, it seems I'd never even acknowledged that something needed to be changed.

Of course Cooper deserved what happened to him. I don't regret a second of that, but as I sit here now, a week after spending the night in jail for the damage I did to the elder Anderson brother, it's forced me to really look at what I've been doing with my life, and the affect me not dealing with certain issues will have on the people around me.

I wanted so badly to be Megan's protector, to be the one person that would stand up when she couldn't and fight back, that I let it overtake my better judgement. While I think she needed me to be that person for her, she also needed me to be her voice. I should have told someone that night even, after she'd told me who was behind the abuse. I should have taken her with me, even with the impact of her bombshell and I should have gotten her help.

That's what a real protector does. They stand up and use more then their fists and their testosterone. They become a voice for the otherwise voiceless, and they do the right thing. Something that in a lot of ways I failed at.

I haven't been to see her. Even now, knowing she's in that hospital room, fighting for her life, at least according to Blaine, I still can't get up the nerve to go and see her. That night, seeing her lying on the bed that way, blood soaking through her bed and onto the floor it had shaken me to my core. I don't think I've been able to recover from it. I feel like I let her down that night, walking away from her the way I did and I don't think any amount of sitting by her bedside can ever make up for it.

I had the chance to be that person, the real person she needed me to be, and that I want to be for not only her but for the world, for all of the people that are going through things that they can't deal with on their own and I failed at it. All of it. It's hard not thinking about how much better off she may have been if she'd never run into me that day. It's really all that can occupy my mind.

Cooper was taken to the hospital that night, and after a night of observation was released into police custody. Given what we had all walked in on, and with what I had been able to tell them about what Megan had told me previously, they felt they had enough to arrest him. I should have been happier about that given that every minute he spent behind bars now was another minute that he wouldn't be terrorizing Megan but I was finding myself at a loss to feel anything about it, least of all happy.

I was just at a loss. I had served no real purpose for this woman that I claimed to love and I knew that being there for her now, would only serve to make that better but I couldn't bring myself to do it. In the rare times over the last week that Blaine, Cheryl and I had had a chance to talk, it always came back around to our guilt. Blaine believed himself guilty for not noticing something sooner whenever he had been in his brothers presence and with as close as Cheryl was to him, she fed off of that and made his guilt her own. I had my own reasons for feeling guilty in all of this which really didn't help matters.

I'd called her family, thinking that in some small way, they would want to be there for their daughter but nothing had ever come of it. They had apparently given up on their daughter years prior and had no reason now to change it.

The only good thing to come out of all of this was, they gave their consent for divorce papers to be filed in lieu of Megan being conscious to do it herself. Which meant that once she did wake up, she would be free of Cooper, even if never entirely free of what she had gone through for all of those years. I was pretty sure the memories would haunt her for a lifetime, it was only natural with what she had experienced.

I know I've been throwing myself a pity party for a week, not putting my focus where it really needs to be but honestly, I do believe that after everything that's happened and what I actually put into motion that night walking away, that she would be much better served being as far away from me as she could get. I can only cause her pain, or at least force her to remember something she should finally have the ability to forget.

If I'm honest with myself though, I was falling in love with her from that very first meeting in front of the art class and walking away would be the single hardest thing I'd ever have to do in this lifetime. I've been in love before, I'm so naive as to think that she is the first girl I've ever had these types of feelings for because she's not but the magnitude of the feelings, that is what cannot be compared to what I have been through with people previously.

I would have gladly died for this woman if given the chance. Hell I even begged God to switch places between me and her so that I could go through this and spare her. There is no doubt I would have laid down more then my life to make sure she lived and did so happily. Which makes all of this even more painful. I can still imagine a life with her, a happy one too. I can imagine waking up and seeing those peircing blue eyes every single day for the rest of my life and being forever thankful for it. There are times where those images are so strong it's hard to think of much else.

Blaine tells me that I should be at the hospital with her. That even though he feels he needs to be there too that the real person that she needs is me and I know he's right and I want to be there so badly that it hurts but I can't go there because I I know that all I will see is her laying there, her body broken and beaten and remember just how much of a failure I was to her.

Even with a week going by, I still haven't dealt with my own issues from what's happened. I haven't been able to come to terms with any of it and move on and until I can do that, I don't think me being there for Megan would do any good.

She deserves better then that.

Better then me.