A/N: Let me have this moment of chill before "Long Road Ahead," okay?
Last three chapter titles (including this one) were based off of Alexisonfire's song "Boiled Frogs." I'm particularly fond of (former Alexisonfire frontmant and current solo artist under the name City and Colour) Dallas Green's acoustic cover for the song. Sorry to be music-bombing you guys, but 90 percent of inspiration is drawn from music. Sets the tone. Good stuff.
The Journalist
Chapter 21
(Count Your Blessings) On One Hand
She felt alone in this.
Whatever happened back at the farm, whatever happened between Lilly and Kenny and Larry and Mark changed their entire group dynamic. Lilly and Kenny refused to speak. Kenny spoke only to Lee when he had to, and even then Carley could see it was with much reservation. Lilly grew distant and her temper increasingly short with every argument.
Their one moment of solace in the days following the events at the farm and the moment came with some kind of twisted irony.
As she turned in for the morning after another night's worth of watch, she carved another slash mark through the calendar on her wall. Today was the last day of October. Happy Halloween! the print in the box read, as if a small type font and italics could convey the spooky excitement of an inanimate object. For all of what was left of her sanity, the calendar may have been grateful to not have been sacrificed to feed the camp's cooking fire yet. Even the exclamation point read cheerier than the group's dispositions toward one another.
She glanced out the window. Sunlight only scarcely penetrated through that day's cloudy forecast. Kenny sat outside, Itchy and Scratchy, the taxidermied cat and rodent surrounding either side of him. In a few short hours, while Carley attempted sleep, everyone else would wake and get to whatever timekilling tasks laid ahead. For Lee and Kenny, that was once again gleaning Macon of supplies, the latter having finally succeeding in arguing he was well enough to go on runs. Katjaa and Carley—the latter after nap—were both delegated to fixing up the wall. When Lilly and Carley would switch for watch later that day, Lilly would continue teaching Katjaa how to use a gun. After what happened at the farm, their de facto leader insisted with a righteous fury everyone at the very least know how to use a gun.
It was business as usual.
Until she heard Clementine tell Duck it was Halloween. The overzealous boy quickly advocated for a big meal, reminding his mom and dad of all the fun Halloween parties they used to have. It would be out of the question, Carley first assumed, but with the haul from the station wagon a couple days earlier and a gut-wrenching hike back to the St. John Dairy farm to snatch food and supplies, there was no shortage of food. If anything, much of the food they had, especially from the farm, would spoil if they didn't eat them fast enough.
And by spoil, Katjaa especially referred to Maybelle—the St. Johns' prize-winning dairy cow—who dying anyways after what was apparently a botched birth of her calf. Where the calf had gone was only briefly concerning. For now, they had meat.
So that day, they slaughtered the cow.
It was a meager meal but certainly luxurious given their usually bland meals were captured in Ziploc baggies. Though such autumn treats as fresh baked cornbread, stuffing and pecan pie were missed for what was apparently a standard of Halloween feasts, the bounty they shared was worth for more than the traditionally preferred cravings. They unanimously decided to cook as needed to minimize wasted food, and their meal laid out before them on a several sheets of foil, the slices of meat adjacent to the bowls of instant mashed potatoes, canned peaches and grilled corn.
She hadn't said grace before a meal in years. But as she stared at her foil-plate in front of her, the meal plentiful for once, she found herself reciting the prayer in her head.
"Come Lord Jesus, be our Guest; And let these gifts to us be blest. And may there be a goodly share on every table everywhere. Amen."
But before she could reach for her plastic fork and knife, she saw Lee pick up his bottled water and raise it slightly.
"For Mark," he said.
"And Dad," said Lilly.
"Doug," Carley offered. "Glenn, too."
"And Shawn," Kenny said.
"And Mr. Parker," said Katjaa.
"Travis," said Ben. "...And all my friends."
"And for everyone to be safe," added Clementine with a smile.
"And we get lucky for more food!" Duck cheered.
"Amen," Carley heard herself whisper, and a few others muttered the interjection, others nodding.
"Let's eat!"
-xXx-
When Carley returned from her room, a comb in one hand and her calendar in the other, she saw the seat across from wher she had sat was empty. She looked up—Lilly had taken to watch atop the balcony, serving as Ben's second who remained over the RV. The campfire, the rest of the group's centerpiece, glowed a dying orange, a gently burning against the pastel, flesh-colored strokes of the twilight sky. As she took her place, mindful of whatever topic of conversation the rest of the group had moved on to, she gestured, brush in hand, for Clementine to bring her stool between Carley's legs.
"Ben," Katjaa said. "What about you? Any girlfriends back home in Stone Mountain?"
He shook his head but managed a nervous chuckle. "No, haha," he said. "I mean there was this one person I liked but they just out of this crazy breakup. I mean hope they're okay now, but there's no way of really knowing, you know? It sounds dumb, maybe, but I miss my phone. The Internet. I'm so used to seeing or talking to so many people, and now, well, I guess it's you guys—not that that's a bad thing."
Lee nodded. "You know, for classes I used to stress the importance of communicating by assigning them this project I called 'Rolling Blackout.'"
"Sounds dramatic," Ben said.
"Kids hated it," Lee added. "But it was an I-look-forward-to-hating-it kind of thing. No technology, no computers, no news, no newspapers, no TV. Only word of mouth. All of it was under the honor system—I couldn't go home with them and see what they did—but you could tell my students were uneasy two days into the project. Dressed in all the wrong clothes for the weather and completely of the loop when it came to the news."
"Wait, so you were a teacher, Lee?" Kenny said. "God, I didn't know that. No one won that pool."
"Pool?" Lee asked.
"You're the only one who never really talked about the old days. Larry called you Mr. Mysterious, then Mark turned it into Mysterious-Lee."
"Witty," Carley remarked, still brushing Clementine's hair.
"Started a pool about what you did before shit hit the fan," Kenny continued. "Mark bet you were a security guard or some kinda small-town cop. Larry thought the opposite—that you were an escaped convict. Hah, I bet you were one of them weird specialists. Like someone on the Discovery or History Channel."
"Oh." He swallowed. "Yeah, I was a teacher."
"What did you teach? Where?"
"I, uh, taught history."
"No shit!" Kenny joked. "See, the History Channel?"
"Did you teach high school?" Ben asked.
"No."
"Grade school then?" asked Katjaa.
"No. I taught in Athens."
"Not like at UGA or anything, right?" Ben chuckled.
Lee's lips thinned, pursing them tightly. "Yeah. At UGA."
"You were a professor?" Katjaa guessed.
"Wow, we got ourselves an educated man here," said Kenny. "PhD and everything?"
"Mmhm."
"Hey, wait," Ben said. "So you must've heard about that professor who—"
"Clem," Carley said, just loud enough to interrupt Ben. "The fire's looking a little low. You wanna go ahead and toss this in here?"
She held up the calendar she brought with her from her room.
Clementine looked at her, her eyes wide.
"ISn't this is our last calendar," she said.
"We'll find more," Carley said.
"I think the pharmacy had some," Lee remarked. "In that office. I'll bring it back on our next run."
Clementine looked from Lee and then to the calendar. She glanced only briefly at the October month before flipping the page to November.
"You got it?" Carley whispered to her.
"Mmhm... just a few more days." And she tossed the calendar into the fire, its corners turning a slow, dark black as the fire consumed it.
The group all stared at it quietly, the conversation dulled.
A sharp whistle—low-pitched before reaching high in intensity—pierced through the air and the group all glanced upwards to see Lilly, rifle raised and pointing beyond their perimeter toward the forest. The group instantly ducked down. Kenny quashed out the fire—the calendar only partially burned—leaving the group in darkness, scarcely a portion of the sun peeking over the horizon. Katjaa hustled the kids into the RV, the safest place within distance while Carley, quickly withdrawing Glock, scooted toward the rear of the RV while Lee took the hood. Kenny hustled between makeshift cover for an angle near the fence and Ben snuck to the back of the motel, Carley having whispered to him to watch the back wall.
"How many?" Lee called up to Lilly.
"Too dark to tell!" she whispered back, her rifle raised. "Say something!" she urged him.
"We see you!" Lee yelled. "Turn around and go back! You're outgunned!"
"You think so?!" a voice called out.
"Cover!" Lilly shouted.
Carley snuck backwards, allowing the butt of the RV to cover her as she heard a loud barrage of rattling. She heard at least two automatic weapons—possibly semiautomatic—and, if she wasn't mistaken, a single-shot weapon sound off. Chemical smoke filled the air and the usual, unremarkable ringing that followed from gunfire pitched steadily in her ears. She swallowed instinctively and glanced up toward Lilly. She was crouched low now, her gun still raised.
"Y'all fucked with them farmers, didn't ya?" a voice shouted from over the fence. "We was looking to make deals with them. They had food and now we got nothing!"
"They were cannibals!" Lee shouted. "That food you probably ate could've been your dead friends!"
"Like I give a fuck! More for me anyhow! This is survival of the fittest!"
Carley turned up to Lilly. "Can you get a shot?" she mouthed, gesturing with her own weapon.
Lilly shook her head.
"Who are you?!" Lee shouted back, craning his head over the RV.
"Y'all call us bandits, huh? That's what Jolene said anyways. Before you assholes killed her, that right?"
"That wasn't me. That was one of the St. Johns."
"You were with him! That's right, we seen you. We caught your glasses-friend with an arrow. How he doin' by the way?"
"Peachy," Lee said. He looked to Carley, his eyes wide, gesturing for her to speak.
She deepened her voice. "Left me with a nice battle scar, fellas!" she faked.
"Plenty more where that came from, pal!" The bandit cleared his throat. "So the way I see it," the bandit called out, "is you fuckers best give us all your stash—food, supplies, medicine, h—hell yeah, and your women and children—cuz we know ya'll got some—and we leave ya'll alone. Don't worry, we'll bring the purties back to ya."
Carley bit down on her jaw.
"Enticing," Lee drawled. "How about if you lay one hand on any of our people, I will royally beat the shit out of you!" Lee called back.
"Bring it on!"
"Hop your crusty ass over the fence then!" Lee shouted.
Both Lee and Carley turned toward Lilly. Though she had one hand on the trigger guard and another holding steadying her rifle, four of her fingers on the latter hand were wiggling. Then she stopped, balled her hand into a fist, and spread all four fingers wide and waved.
"Lights!" Lee shouted.
A bright flash lit up the night as Kenny keyed the ignition to two of the cars in the parking lot. Holes drilled in the fence allowed for the lights, facing the street, to seep through, LED high beams powered on. There were groans of complaints-at least five different men, Carley saw, as she peaked out over the RV to see over the fence. The bandits, suddenly exposed in the street, were masked and held weapons as they shielded their eyes from the bright lights.
"Turn around now!" Lee shouted. "Or we will fire upon you!"
She heard a bandit growl and fast footsteps. A shot rang out, then two, then three, and then four. Carley looked up to see smoke drifting from the barrel of Lilly's gun. Then—
"One's over! Port side!" Kenny shouted.
Port. Left, Carley quickly saw. The bandit hopped the fence—she saw him wince as he toppled over the barbed wire—and quickly get up and draw a handgun. Carley look up toward Lilly, but the bandit easily stood in Lilly's blind spot. She couldn't get the shot.
"Keep an eye on the street!" Kenny shouted to Lilly. "Lee-"
Carley turned and saw Lee charging for the bandit. Lee raised an arm and jabbed the bandit in the shoulder as he charged, knocking at his arm. The gun fired into the air, missing Lee as Lee grabbed the lanky bandit by the collar and shoved him against the fence.
"No, man, no!" the bandit yelled just as Lee drew a fist punched him once, then twice before Carley ran up behind Lee.
"Lee!" she shouted. She grabbed at his shoulders, managed to pull him off of the bandit, and then dragged the bandit away from Lee and down onto the ground.
She drew her gun, pulled back the hammer, aimed and-
And saw wide, terrified eyes peeping up at her from beneath the ski mask.
She couldn't do it.
She couldn't—
She fired.
The night was quiet. She only heard Lee's heavy breathing, distant, it seemed compared to the faint ringing in her ears.
"Ya'll ain't seen the last of us!" the same bandit leader still yelled from the woods. "Ya'll can't even come close to the numbers we got!"
"Take your dead!" Lee shouted. "Kill the lights!" he added, turning to Kenny.
"Lee, what the fuck?!" Lilly yelled back, clearly disagreeing.
"You think I'm stupid?!" the bandit yelled from within the woods. "I'll leave them there to rot! Maybe some of them biters will feast in front of your motel!"
And again, there was quiet. This time, it lasted. The air remained still. The smoke dissipated. The ringing had stopped. She heard and felt only a slight cool breeze whisking through the trees, toying through the forests' leaves as it tickling her skin and played with her hair.
"Clear," Lilly said. She shouldered her rifle. "Lee, I call the shots here. Not you."
"Quit riding his ass," Kenny said, joining Lee and Carley by the left-side fence. "Like he can read whatever spirit-finger-jazz-hand code you use in this dark."
"I got her meaning," Lee said.
"Fine, whatever," Lilly said. "Just get out there and burn those bodies. We need to make a defensive plan. Meeting straight after you finish, under the RV sunshade. Ben," she added, her voice hardening as she turned toward the teenager, standing at the rear of the motel, "I want you to tell me everything you know about these bandits."
"I'll go grab the lighter," Kenny said to Lee. He pointed to the body of the bandit Carley killed, sprawled on the parking lot ground. "You wanna use this guy as base for burning 'em?"
"Yeah," Lee said, nodding. He passed Carley as he pulled on the gates to the get to the outside of their perimeter.
"You okay?" he asked her, his voice heavy as he gestured at the body in front of her. "It's not easy," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder.
"No," she disagreed. "It's not hard."