In diapers, report cards,
in spoke wheels
in speeding tickets
in contracts
dollars in funerals and births.
five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes.
how do you figure our last year on earth.
figure in love
figure in love
figure in love
measure in love
seasons of love
seasons of love
-Seasons of Love B from Rent-

"It would be selfish of me, to stand up here and wish that things were different. To wish she was still here, but what can I say? I'm a selfish person. I'm supposed to tell you all great stories of her life, tell you all about her, although everyone here knew her. I'm sure everyone here has their favorite Bella story. I think it would be impossible for me to pinpoint my favorite story. Anyone who knew us knew we were best friends, the mother title never fit me correctly, but best friend did. Bella got her first tattoo when she was fourteen, and the obsession continued from there. She once said 'your body is a canvas, the more scars, colors, and holes, the more beautiful the picture.' She was only eleven when she said that. Every mother swears they the best daughter, they say there is no one smarter than their daughter, no one can run faster, or sing better. All I have to say is I know there is no one more special than my daughter."

Cherie stepped away from the casket, running her hand across the wood mournfully. The preacher stood back up and read some scripture before leading the group out to the graveyard.

It was a small funeral, only close family. Chela and Celeste were hugging each other and crying as they watched the casket lower into the ground. Everyone that mattered was standing out beside the grave. Except Josef.

Back in the shadows of the trees he stood, staring coldly at the funeral group.

"I hate funerals." He said with a small sigh.

"Are they crying? Cause I hate it when people cry."

He turned his cold eyes down. "Yes, a few of them are."

"Well fuck, you know, it's not bad enough I have to attend my own funeral, now I have to sit here knowing my friends are crying."

He smirked. "Your mom put on a good show in there; she only looked at the rafters a few times."

I laughed. "I know…I was making funny faces at her trying to screw her up."

"Wow, even after death, you're still a total bitch."

I heard footsteps and looked around the tree that I was hiding beneath. Chela and Celeste were walking from the graveside, still holding onto each other, their bodies shaking from crying. I scrunched my face up. "Don't cry over me loves, I'm certainly not worth it."

Josef knelt down in front of me. "I don't know, you had me pretty torn up the other day."

I smiled. Josef had found me three days ago, lying in my own blood on my bed. When he found me, I had lost so much blood there was nothing he could do. He said he acted before he could think twice. When I woke up I was lying in a freezer with him.

Not exactly an experience most people can say they've had.

Shockingly, my mom wasn't near as angry as I thought she would be, I expected her to yell. But she didn't, she cried for a little bit, but she said she was just happy that I was still alive….sort of.

"Josef, I don't feel well."

He nodded and helped me to stand. "I know, it's the sun, let's get you out of here."

-An Hour Later-

"You know what's sad? My last meal was school lunch."

Josef laughed as he held me on the couch. The two glasses of blood sitting on the coffee table were half empty.

"Well it's not exactly like you were in good enough condition before I turned you to grab a quick bite." I smiled and rolled so that I was straddling his lap. He smiled up at me and tugged on the black hair that fell around my face. "I'm glad you dyed it back."

I smiled. "Red stands out to much, I'm supposed to be dead, so I don't think it would be wise for me to have a bright color on my head."

He nodded. "You're right." He took a handful of my hair in his hand and pulled me down to meet his lips.

Things have been a lot different between us since he turned me. It's as if in the last three days we've moved from that awkward stage to what we are now. I defiantly like it here a lot more than the awkward stage.

The only thing I really miss about life, besides my friends, is my bed. The freezers okay, it's not exactly the most comfortable thing in the world, but it's not too bad. But I really miss my bed, the smooth sheets and warm comforter.

But death has its advantages too. Living with Josef is the main one, sleeping in the same freezer as him, waking up to his face every afternoon.

The best part, I don't hurt anymore. It's as if after he turned me, all the pain I lived in just disappeared. I'm not talking about the physical pain; the mental hell that I lived in, it's gone.

"Ew, not exactly a sight a mother wants to see."

I pulled back from Josef and looked up to see mom standing in the doorway with her hand shielding her eyes. I laughed and moved off of Josef to sit next to him. Mom sat down on the couch across from us, a grimace still showing on her face.

"Seriously, I think I'm going to be scarred for life after that."

I know it must be hard for her, sitting across from a daughter who is technically dead. Having to live alone now, and not able to openly hang out with me anymore. I got up from the couch and walked over to her; I sat next to her and hugged her. It was hard for me to, even with all the perks of living with Josef, it meant I wouldn't be around her all the time and that sucked.

"I promise, in a few years, when everyone has forgotten about me, we'll go shopping or something."

She laughed. "A few years? Well I don't know, I'll have to check my schedule."

"You can always just fly to New York and shop; there are benefits to having a private jet you know…"

I gave Josef a smile then turned back to mom. "He has a private jet, which means I have a private jet by association…how fucking awesome is that?!"

Everyone laughed at my enthusiasm, but I didn't get what was so funny. I was more than thrilled over the fact that I would be living in luxury for the rest of eternity. And as the years go on things can only get better.

Wow, was that a positive thought? I think it was. I guess things really do change after death.