Such dreadful an occurrence!... The poor girl, she was lying senseless on the floor; meanwhile, everyone around her hurried to help her. She had fainted; I could understand her reasons for it. I do not blame her; the stress of the day was too great. Darling Nathan had agreed to take her in his arms and carry her to a more peaceful place. Cal, he had the same reaction as everyone: rushing to her side; leaning over her; begging her to open her eyes. His attitude was equal to a guest's, without the affection required by the future husband, even in arranged marriages. He chose to leave the altar shortly after my husband agreed to carry Miss Dewitt Bukater inside.

As was my duty, I had to remain in the room for a while longer. I needed to calm the guests, as well as inform the priest on the continuation of the wedding in a short while. When I entered the room Miss Dewitt Bukater was brought in, I was met by Nathan. I was surprised at that, for I expected to find Cal there instead. I was soon left alone, Miss Dewitt Bukater lying on a wooden bench. It was the only kind of furniture she could be laid down on. Such a dreadful feeling that is, having to wait!... I had tried to wake her up, of course. I was given a bottle of perfume, which I used. I could not hit her; her face needed to remain as delicate as possible. Mrs. Dewitt Bukater did not come, even once; she was sitting on a chair outside the room, awaiting for news on her daughter's well being. Seeing that there was no other choice, I anticipated Miss Dewitt Bukater's awakening. She thankfully did so, a good while later. She seemed lost. Her complexion was as pale as before; I did not have to think twice, she was obviously dizzy. She looked around her before paying attention to me. She asked what happened. I told her all; from the ceremony to how she was brought here. She tried to stand up:

"You shouldn't." I stopped her. "Stay seated. You wouldn't want to get tired all too suddenly again!"

My instruction followed, she sat back down. Leaning over to the side of the bench, she brought her hand to her forehead. She asked for water. I was already provided with that, shortly after Miss Dewitt Bukater was brought here. Filling an empty glass with it, I handed it to her. She drunk it slowly. A few moments later, I said:

"You should not worry about it. These last few weeks have been an incredibly stressful time. I suppose you could not take it any longer".

She looked at me, yet said nothing in reply. Instead, she looked around in confusion. It was not curiosity of the place she was brought in, rather, it was something else. Realization, most likely.

"Oh my God...", I heard her whisper. "Oh my... Oh my God", she added.

Before I could realize, she had already stood up. Walking towards the window, she stood there, taking deep breaths. I had to ask:

"What is it, Rose? How do you feel?"

She only looked at me. It was a well-known glance. Only a year ago, I was stared at the same way. Panic, dread and helplessness.

"Rose..." She turned her attention elsewhere. "I must know." I went on.

"What do you want to know?"

I drew a deep breath:

"How long has it been since you... you last..."

She did not speak for a while. When she did, her voice was nothing but tremulous:

"What?"

"Oh... It was nothing... Just a passing thought..."

But she would insist:

"What do you think that is?"

Motioning for her to sit back down on the bench, I stood right opposite her. "Something serious must be the reason you fainted. Something none of us have quite expected, I am afraid…"

Miss Dewitt Bukater would keep paying attention to me. I had to draw another deep breath; I uttered:

"We are both mothers, thus familiar with this kind of... distractions. I would certainly not like to ask some matters too personal for you, but.. I am... quite experienced on that... I believe you do understand my suspicions..."

I couldn't breathe... I kept hoping this would be a lie, that the nausea and the mood swings were due to the stress about this wedding... Not this. Now I couldn't avoid the truth right in front of me...

Before I realized it, I stood up. I was looking for something sharp... Something that'd make me feel pain. I couldn't even understand the tearsin my eyes... I was weeping!

"No... no!" I kept saying. "A knife... I need... A knife..."

I was touching the tables aimlessly, touching my dress, looking around... But Amelia stopped me by holding my hand. I stared at her. Just for two seconds, before I started crying on her shoulder. She let me be. She tried to soothe me:

"There now, there is no need for that! You wouldn't want to ruin your beauty. You will give Rebecca a sibling! A little brother or sister for her to care for! And you, you will raise this child as well as you raised Rebecca thus far."

"B..but... I... d..don't..."

"Hush!"

She let me weep as much as I needed. When I had no tears left to cry, I looked at her.

"I don't love him." I uttered.

She nodded:

"I am afraid, dear, women of our position have no say in this matter. Yet, you do adore Rebecca, don't you?"

I smiled. It's amazing, how just listening to her name made me feel better.

"You will love this child as well. I might not have loved Nathan at first, but, I adore all of our children! I ask for the best for them. I want them to have everything. The best education, the finest clothes, the greatest care... My husband can provide them with those. It is my duty to follow."

I was listening to her carefully. She soon added:

"It is not easy, living this life. Our family's reputation is our solemn concern. One step taken wrong, and a scandal occurs. You wouldn't want that for your child; would you?"

I didn't reply. Amelia then walked outside. The ceremony had to continue. I heard some boisterous whispers coming from the altar when she opened the door. Of course. My fainting had to be gossiped about. But how would Cal react to that? Would there be any punishing? I was now carrying his son... Perhaps he'd treat me better from now on...

I was welcomed by Nathan and Mrs. Dewitt Bukater's concerned looks, although, I must admit, I was expecting the presence of yet another person. It was his duty, after all, to be by his bride, in this very moment.

I informed them on the continuation of the ceremony at once, as I also asked Nathan to inform the priest and escort Rose back to the altar. Mr. Hepburn did not have to accomplish this duty once again. Cal's absence, as I soon noticed, wasn't left unspoken. As soon as order was restored and everyone was in their rightful place, the bride next to the groom, the guests in their seats, the priest continued the ceremony from where he was left of:

"Will you, Caledon William Hockley, have Rose Charlotte Dewitt Bukater to be your wedded wife, to love her, comfort her, honour and keep her, and forsaking all others, for so long as you both shall live?"

I hated… I hated everything… I hated myself, I hated Cal, I hated the crowds, I hated, I hated!… But I could not hate Amelia… She knew what I felt like, she knew what it was all like… Cal said his vows, then it was my turn:

"Will you, Rose Charlotte Dewitt Bukater, have Caledon William Hockley to be your wedded husband, to love him, comfort him, honour and keep him, and forsaking all others, keep you only unto him, so long as you both shall live?"

I knew I had to say these two words… There was no running away from this. I had to do this. I had to take this deep breath, say these two words… I could feel Cal's hand squeezing mine… Amelia staring at me… Nodding… There were no whispers… The priest waited… I was feeling numb… Nothing else… I breathed in…

"I do".

It wasn't me who uttered these words... It wasn't me who just took these vows… No… There was no going back now…

The applause… Cal's lips on mine, a stiff kiss… Amelia's attention was still on me… I had to smile, I had to tell her I was alright… She was smiling… One of these kind smiles of hers… She was also clapping her hands… Cal squeezed my hand once more, forcing me to stare at the crowd… I did… I looked at Amelia again after a while… She was still smiling… Differently… She could understand how I felt… She nodded once again…

That was it…

I was Mrs. Caledon Hockley…

A while later...

The reception was one suitable for royalty. Mrs. Dewitt Bukater made no restrictions on the cost, for it had to agree with the extravagance so common to the family her daughter had just joined. I couldn't help but be reminded of my own wedding reception, the memories of which were still fresh despite the seven years gone by. Following the dinner, the guests met at the ball room. A very bright room, with white walls and golden and ivory decorations on the walls. It was very lively with music and dancing activity. Not from my part, however. Because of my conditions, I was not allowed many dances. I had, however, promised two waltzes. One to Mr. Hockley and one to my husband, as was expected for all spouses.

I had met with Mrs. Dewitt Bukater, shortly after Nathan's speech. She wanted to thank me, for my great help with convincing Rose about the wedding, to quote her. Her daughter was like me now, a Hockley bride. She had already danced her first dance with Cal, officially as husband and wife. Other guests were currently also dancing; I was watching them, drinking a glass of wine.

I could not hide my surprise when I heard someone calling for me:

"Mrs. Hockley!"

Rose's uncle! He was coming closer, obviously wishing for a discussion:

"Mr. Hepburn! Such a pleasure to see you again! But where is your wife? I do not recall seeing her at church."

"Well, our youngest was ill and Mrs. Hepburn had to care for him."

"You have three children, have you not?"

"Indeed, yes. My two daughters were Rose's bridesmaids."

"Indeed so? How wonderful!"

"May I now ask, where are Mr. and Mrs. O'Donnell? I expected to meet your father here."

This question grew me rather uncomfortable. Any mention of my parents, or of something related to them, was never a pleasant one for me.

"My parents could not come. They are in Europe. Mother's fragile health requires her stay in warmer climates."

I would expect him to ask something; he was interrupted, though, by Mr. Hockley's appearance. His presence was made known by his loud and authoritative voice:

"I was looking for you everywhere, Mr. Hepburn! I expected to see you with our party in the smoking room."

Mr. Hepburn turned to look at him, before he replied:

"In fact, Mr. Hockley, I was about to ask Mrs. Hockley here to do me the honour of dancing with me!"

"I am afraid I have to decline." I responded. "See, Mr. Hepburn, I have already promised this dance to my father-in-law!"

With a smile and a brief apology, Mr. Hepburn left. I was escorted to the dance-floor by my father-in-law, as the orchestra started a new, and thankfully slow, waltz. A few moments later, Mr. Hockley wished to speak to me:

"I want to congratulate you on the great job you have done with Alexander. He has made our family very proud today!"

I did smile at the remark; I was also feeling extremely proud of my son today. Yet, Mr. Hockley, wouldn't stop beaming with pride:

"He is so clever! A real Hockley! I tried to teach him chess a few days ago, only to come across a very pleasant surprise!"

"He is very smart, indeed. Just like his father and his grandfather!"

His smiling face turned strict, a few moments later:

"My son had better not overdo it with providing him with good education. I would like to teach my grandson something useful, something to remember me by!"

"Nathan says your fencing skills are excellent."

"Not as good as they used to be, I am afraid. My good days are over!"

"Yet, you would do better than my husband himself, or the trainers he provides our son with."

"I name you responsible for ensuring that Nathan had better nothing to do with the latter!"

"You have my word, sir!"

Our dance was interrupted by Nathan asking his father if he could dance with his wife. Mr. Hockley stepped aside, and my husband and I started waltzing to the new tune, our favourite waltz, Johann Strauss Jr's Valse De l' Empereur.

We took the first step. Then the next. And the next. Although I normally needed a few seconds until I let the tune sink in, it was different with Nathan. It was always different with him… This had been our first dance as spouses, the first steps to this wonderful marriage!… I hadn't indulged it the first time, but I was given plenty of chances to do so later. It had ended up being something we did without having to think of the steps. We knew each other very well. I knew his exact steps, as he knew mine. I knew the moments I'd step back, the moments I'd turn, the moments the steps had to be faster or slower…

Before we realized it, we were watched by all the other guests. It was at this moment that I told him I needed to tell him something. Smiling with his adored grin of his, he asked what it was. I did not hesitate. The others could not hear. My eyes in his, my voice tender and slow, I said:

"You are wonderful!"

His smile widened and we danced on. When the waltz ended, we bowed in front of each other, listening to the audience's applause. Nathan had asked me of yet another dance, but I denied. I was feeling tired, I really needed to sit down.

I skipped the ball room while everyone was watching Amelia and Nathan's dance. I was now upstairs, in one of the drawing rooms. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. I shouldn't ruin my make-up, or reveal the truth to anyone. I shouldn't give more causes to talk… Yet, inside, I was screaming… All I could think of was my daughter. Why, why hadn't I run away when I had had the chance! I'm sorry, dear girl... I just couldn't give you the better life you deserve... Acting on instinct, I touched my belly. There was no doubt now. Amelia was right..

I noticed the drawing… Amelia's wedding gift to Cal and I… The Renaissance painting… I could hear her voice echoing in my head… The words she said a few days ago...

"We are both suffering from the same fate. We are both beautiful and well-known enough to have been chosen to join this family. Once you do, you forget your old self. You leave behind your old name, not only in papers. You become royalty. You are expected to do everything perfectly. There is no other way, no other choice. You are a Hockley bride."

I had to keep staring at it… I ought to let it all sink in… I wanted to cry… The more I heard her saying these two words, the more I wanted to tear up… Hockley bride… Royalty…

I stared at the drawing one last time. I took a deep breath. I had to walk downstairs. Do my duty…

I was keeping the ladies in my company entertained by describing them the carnival in Venice, something Nathan and I were lucky enough to witness in one of our travels, a few years ago. Although a few couples were still dancing, things had overall calmed down a bit. The ladies were so interested in my descriptions of these extravagant costumes and the masks, that we did not notice Cal's presence. He had to make it known himself:

"Ladies, I apologize for ruining this wonderful company, but if you would be too kind, I would like to speak with Mrs. Hockley in private, please!"

Oh great! He gave me the chance I wanted, to say a few words with him. I noticed his wine in his hand, as he sat on the sofa opposite me. A true gentleman indeed, with all this perfect behaviour and flawless manners… I let him speak first:

"I would like to thank you personally for your great help with Rose. She would not have been my wife now if it weren't for your precious contribution."

I smiled, although he did not notice my suspicious grin:

"Yes, I might have done quite something, despite a very important absence in the room."

From the intense stare he gave me, I understood he could see where I wanted to go with it:

"Perhaps you could think of caring for your wife rather than running away being unable to see the sight. Oh, how unpleasant for sure! You poor thing, you couldn't stand seeing the poor girl on the floor, could you? Or was it something else? Weakness to stand the gossip, for instance? I am certain you have enjoyed it! Being the runaway husband, not having to care for your bride, as you should... I sometimes wonder, Caledon, how better a person could you become?"

He was breathing heavily, giving me this all too known deathly stare, which I very gladly returned. I let him a few moments. In these few moments, I saw his face twisting from clear anger to fury hidden underneath a gentlemanly smile. The smile most foolish women would fall for. The trick, however, would never work on me.

"I see. My intentions have been misunderstood. Let me explain to you a thing or two about my honest and real intentions. The reason of my absence was the fact that I did not want Rose to wake up and notice me in my distressed state. That would distress her more!"

"Oh, please!"

I could not keep it in any longer. Cal went on, the fury now obvious in his voice too:

"Despite what you think, I honestly care for Rose and her well-being! I tried to help her come back to her senses, I was the first in line to do so! I was extremely worried to see her on the floor, I couldn't possibly stand the sight of her lying senseless on that bench!"

Oh, dear God, please put some common sense in him!...

"You, you, you! It always has to do about your well-being, doesn't it, Caledon? I must admit, you disappoint me greatly. I would have believed you, but I am afraid you don't appear trustworthy enough for me to do so. You insist you care for Rose. Well, if it were indeed so, why didn't this wedding take place shortly after you found out about her delicate condition? It would not have been far ago, considering you would have started preparations for your first anniversary by now. But of course the prospect of a scandal is such a temptation, isn't it?"

He wanted to shout, but his fear of being seeing treated his sister-in-law in such a way overcame all. Almost:

"Do you think I would wish for this family to be dragged down? Do you think I would allow my family to be corrupted by such a scandal? You carry the Hockley name too. You would also have been dragged down by the loss of the good reputation!"

Calmly as possible, I starred into his eyes, then said:

"Then why didn't you marry her before Rebecca was born?"

He was held aback. Taking his glass from the table, he sat more comfortably on the sofa:

"This is none of your concern!"

"Oh, I believe it is!" I replied. "I would have liked to know why we were not dragged down to this day."

Once more the glass was placed on the table; once more Caledon gave me his awful stare:

"I just came here to thank you!"

"I will remind you that you had no reason to do it!" With a movement of my hand, I added: "Instead of wasting your very precious time with me, perhaps you might have considered spending time with your wife? An unpleasant company, for certain, yet a more suitable for you. A duty should be done right for once, or not be done at all. In each of its aspects."

Seeing that he couldn't be pushed on the wall any further, he decided to give up:

"Indeed... Excuse me."

I grinned proudly. Yet, feeling someone's eyes on me, I turned my attention to their direction. I saw Rose, sadness in her stare, yet a small smile on her lips. You poor girl! You do not deserve this Hockley… You were given the worst kind…

I turned away, when I heard Nathan's voice:

"Darling, we need to go! It is late, and you need to rest. Most of the guests have left. The newly-weds will retreat to their chambers soon."

"Yes, of course..."

As he was helping me, he did want to know what Cal and I were discussing. I told him only half the truth, without a single mention of the disagreement.

Some time later...

I couldn't keep it in me any longer… I knew what was coming up, I knew Cal wouldn't want to postpone it… I only held on to myself tighter, the tears running free… I refused to lie on that bed… I refused to come any close to it… I dreaded it, I didn't want it here!… Cal hadn't touched me since Titanic… It was his chance now, and he would get it… My only chance, he might wish to care about the baby… But whom was I kidding!…

Rebecca wasn't here, thankfully… Neither was Mother… Neither was anyone… They would all stay in Amelia's mansion, or in hotels… Cal wanted us to be on our own… He chose one of the guest rooms… I refused to wear the negligee Trudy had provided me with… I knew he had chosen it… I could smell his perfume on it…

I kept touching the wall… Between another wall and the desk… Providing myself with fake security…. My eyes stuck on the door… Don't open, please don't open!… I didn't want that, I didn't want him coming here… Please… Please don't let me relive that night… Please don't let him be like that first night…

The door opened… I watched it… Counted the seconds breath by breath… Tear by tear…

He was threatening… As I had seen him on the Titanic, that night… My heart was beating as if it'd stop at every second now…

"Mrs. Caledon William Hockley..." , he said, before bursting out in an evil laughter... "Nice sound, right, Sweetpea? Mrs. Rose Charlotte Hockley... Mother of my son and heir..."

He was taking the first step… And another… He was coming closer… He was coming for me…

"Now, Sweetpea, you know what we have to do now."

He opened his arms… I shook my head… I refused… "

We have done that a thousand times before."

He begun to undress… I wasn't looking…

"But..."

His hand on my waist…

"This will be the first time as husband and wife."

His fingers between my curls... I shivered. I hated it... I hated my life, I hated Cal, I hated myself... How could I have given up Jack's promise that easily? I had everything planned... I would take Rebecca and leave, one night... I would have stolen enough of Cal's money to help us find a place to live until we managed to get decent jobs...

But what about the pregnancy? What about the baby? This vision… That drawing… Rebecca…

"Cal stop!"

His hands on my bare shoulders… His lips on my neck… How did he do it? How hadn't I noticed?

I wasn't staring at him… I refused to stare at him...

"I'm pregnant", I let out.

Then the first sob. And the second. I burst into tears… Again… It was all too late... Jack… If he was alive, he would be miles away… And I? I was stuck here... Forever bound in Cal's chains…

My eyes opened… A sharp pain inside me... He couldn't have... Could he…?

"Cal..."

"Don't you dare, Rose. You're my wife now!"

I did know what he meant... I could see what he was doing... I couldn't feel it... For the first time in hours, I thought about the baby... In a tender way... Like I cared... Could he harm the baby? That's how much he cared about his heir?

There was a wedding feast. The ball room was filled with people, and she was sitting down quietly, seeing the couples dancing. She was enjoying it, but then she stood up. The minute she did, the room became dark. No one was around. The music had stopped. Silence. Solitude. Until she heard a baby's cries. A few seconds later, a woman was shouting... Help! She was hysterical. Her screams were so loud they were echoing in the room. But she wasn't in the room. Or if she was, she couldn't know where she was exactly. She went on screaming. she walked towards her cries. They stopped suddenly. She stood, waiting. She heard them again, this time, they came from a different direction. They were becoming louder. And louder. This was all she could listen to. she closed her eyes and knelt on the ground, helpless too as she was. When she opened them again, gone was the evening gown she was wearing at the feast. She was dressed in rags, her hair were falling free on my shoulders. Then she heard a laughter... A familiar one... There was no mistaking it. Cal. Someone was holding her. They were leading her towards the light. The more they approached, the hotter it became. It wasn't light. It was flames. A tall wooden tower, about to be turned into ashes. There was someone tied on to that tower... A woman, with red hair and a child in her hands. Rose! Her daughter! The flames approaching! They were encircling them! Thick black smoke rising!

My eyes darted open. I jumped up. Soon I realized that I was breathing heavily. I was covered in cold sweat. My heart was beating wildly. I could still see the flames.

Dear God, forgive me... I've made a terrible mistake...

I should not have insisted on the continuation of the ceremony. Why did I nod for her to accept? I'm a murderer. I sent them both to the flames...

Nathan was sleeping soundly next to me. I couldn't... The more I was lying on the bed the more suffocated I felt.

Air... I needed some air. Fast.

I did not put on any shoes, or coat. I just ran. The gardens, I had to go there. Breathe... I needed to breathe...